Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass. The only profit I make from this fanfiction is the joy of writing and sharing my headcanons.

Thank you to everyone who commented, left kudos, started following my Tumblr, etc. :D

Thanks to my lovely beta-reader, TheGeminiSage, for looking over this whale of a tale. She is love. Go read her Undertale comic, Refuse. :D

Please enjoy the slow burn romance and let me know your thoughts. x3

Chapter 3: Figuring Out Feelings

"'Zero will lead a band of Eleven zombies on the monarchy.'"

Thunder rumbled in the distance. Dark storm clouds hung low, concealing all but a few weak shafts of faded yellow sunlight and a tinge of green overlaying the afternoon sky. The wind picked up, tossing stray leaves, and then abruptly died down again. Raindrops sagged at the bottoms of clouds, but did not yet plummet to earth. Zero's Eleven zombies would have had a field day in the gloomy atmosphere.

Inside Ashford Academy, there was no trace of the pending storm. Stacks of paperwork lay untouched on the main table in the Student Council room. Beneath the flickering overhead light, Lelouch, the the ever-diligent vice president, sat at the head of the table, studiously ignoring the school budget so he could read political magazines instead. On the cover of each was an image of the masked terrorist Zero. Some of the articles focused on discerning his identity; others speculated on what his next move would be. Lelouch smirked as he read, chuckling a little sardonically at some of their wild guesses.

"What is this, science fiction?" he asked himself, raising an eyebrow. Tossing that magazine aside, he picked up another. He flipped it open to the middle and read, "'Zero is a Britannian conspiracy meant to supply the Numbers with false hope.'" Brow furrowing, he glanced out the window and sighed through his nose. Talk about stormy.

The door opened and closed, admitting a second soul into the room. Lelouch kept his gaze trained on the pages.

"Um, Lelou?"

Reluctantly, Lelouch raised his head. "Yes, Shirley?" he asked coolly. He politely made eye-contact with her, even though he really wanted to shut her out so he could get back to reading.

Olive green eyes shimmered a bit, and Shirley leaned forward, wringing her hands. "W-well, see, a group of us are going to the movies tonight and…well, I thought you might be interested in coming along!" Her mouth set in a determined line, and she positioned herself squarely in front of him, waiting for a response.

Lelouch closed his eyes, blocking out the sight of her pleading face so he could think objectively. It wasn't that he didn't want to go—Shirley was his friend, and he had fun with her—but he had too much on his plate now to worry about something so insignificant as a social life. I have plans, and she can't be a part of them. Somehow, I don't think she'd be interested in recruiting rebels to possibly war against Britannia.

Shirley shifted from side to side as she waited for Lelouch to make up his mind. "The movie starts at seven," she informed him, probably thinking he needed more concrete details before coming to a decision. "It's one of those really popular action films, so it won't be all gooey and girly, if that's what you're worried about. Uh, Milly and and Rivalz are going too and, er, we don't know if Nina's coming yet, but—well, I thought I'd ask you and, and, we—er, I—wanted you to come since it's been awhile since you've come out to things!" Her tone was near desperate when she said, "We're all meeting up at—"

"Sorry, Shirley," Lelouch cut her off, opening his eyes. He had a phone appointment with that man Ohgi from Shinjuku that was far more important than any social outing. "I'm a bit busy tonight. Maybe some other time."

Taking a step backwards, Shirley nodded. "Y-yeah, sure," she said, red staining her cheeks. Her voice was watery from trying to hold back tears, and her throat seemed clogged with emotion. Like the impending tempest outside, she was a storm waiting to break. Obviously trying to be brave, she forced a "Whenever you're free" through her lips. "Maybe it was too bold of me to ask." She lowered her head, bangs falling in front of her eyes, and her lip quivered with rejection. Her shoulders shook, her energy sapped.

That's odd. She's acting a little off today. More so than usual. Raking his eyes over her dejected form, Lelouch finally put to words the niggling sensation that had been in the back of his brain for months. She likes me. A small sense of wonder blossomed in his chest, but it wasn't enough. Lelouch felt a pang of empathy for Shirley, but he wasn't about to give in to her feelings when he didn't return them. Putting more effort into his tone, he promised noncommittally, "Someday soon."

Shirley nodded again and, recognizing his dismissal, almost ran towards the door. "See you later, Lelou," she said, voice high-pitched.

Lelouch didn't bother to respond, choosing instead to go back to his magazines. Ten minutes later, he was interrupted again.

"Hey, Lelouch!" Suzaku greeted, slipping into the seat beside him.

Lelouch swiveled to face the newcomer, though this time he could feel there was considerably more warmth reflected in his face and eyes. "Hello, Suzaku," Lelouch murmured, his voice low and deep. He looked out the window; the weather seemed better already. Calmer. Safer. "I thought you had military duties today."

Suzaku shrugged sheepishly. "I did, but they let me come for the extracurricular stuff. Where is everyone? Don't we have a Student Council meeting today?"

Lelouch put his magazines down. "Milly left me the paperwork to do," he explained, nodding with his chin to the pile of papers halfway down the table. "Everyone else is getting ready to go to the movies. If you're interested?" he asked, meeting his friend's eye. Suzaku could stand to improve his social life, in Lelouch's opinion. Surely all that military isn't good for him.

Suzaku blushed when they made eye-contact but didn't lower his gaze. "Is that an invitation?" he asked slowly—hopefully?

Lelouch maintained eye-contact as he answered, "Oh, I'm too busy to go, but I'm sure the others would enjoy your company." If Suzaku wasn't going to look away, then he wouldn't either! I'm too competitive for my own good when he's involved.

Suzaku murmured, "Ah," and broke his gaze to stare transfixed at the table. "Well, I was planning on going out somewhere else tonight anyway," he threw out after a moment of contemplative silence. "So I couldn't go to the movies even if you had asked me." He clearly hadn't heard that last part—either that, or he didn't care.

Lelouch blinked. Is Suzaku being…defensive? He leaned his elbow on the table and put his cheek on his fist, staring lazily at his friend out of one eye. "Oh, where are you going?"

Suzaku's head dropped. "Okay, I lied. I have no plans. I have reservations at seven to check out this new restaurant called the Orange Café, but I don't want to go by myself. I was going to go with some people from work, but something came up last minute, so…" He turned his head, seeking an answer to his unspoken but glaringly obvious question.

Catching on easily, Lelouch shook his head. "I'm busy, remember?"

"O-oh, right," Suzaku stammered and looked down at his lap. He fidgeted, and his blush deepened to a vivid red as it spread across his face. "I understand, of course," he said quickly, almost tripping over his words. "I know you have a life and you have things to do, and then I know you don't ever want to leave Nunnally, so it was kinda stupid of me to…well, anyway, I just wanted to say something—just in case, you know? I don't mean to—I just—the military takes up a lot of my time, so—"

Lelouch sat up straight, frowning thoughtfully as he stared at his flushed, stammering friend. "Suzaku."

Breathing heavily, Suzaku looked up then, his eyes clashing with Lelouch's. His face still red, he tore his gaze from Lelouch's and jumped to his feet. "W-well, no biggie. We'll catch up...catch up l-later or some-something, 'kay?" He turned towards the door, shoulders shaking the tiniest bit, and said, "I miss you—er, I miss hanging out with y-you, so whenever you get a m-moment, uh, call me up!" He took a step forward and tripped over his chair; without looking at what he was doing, he righted the furniture and sped to the door. He fumbled with it (seemingly forgetting that it was automatic) and heaved a sigh when it finally opened, throwing out a squeaky, "See ya, Lelouch!" over his shoulder as he fled.

Lelouch stared at the closed door for a long, uncomprehending moment. "That was…odd," he said to himself. "It was almost like—" he continued, trying to put his finger on a viable solution. He sat straighter, lifting his chin and narrowing his eyes at the door, his gaze sharp and slightly astonished. No way! "But could that be the case?" His heart started to pound at the possibility. A shiver raced down his spine, and he gripped the back of his chair so tightly his knuckles turned white. With the idea in mind, he started to recount his recent contact with Suzaku. It had only been a couple weeks since they'd reunited at school, but they were closer than most teens their age and they always tried to make time for each other ahead of anyone else.

He has been acting weird ever since we met again, Lelouch thought. The sky darkened again, but this time without the sickly green tint. It was all in the details. He blushes, stammers, freezes up, sweats, shivers, and jumps at physical contact. He always wants to be near me, and he'll go out of his way to make me happy. Lelouch ticked off each point on a finger, drawing parallels where appropriate. Things were coming together. (He was much better at making connections than those magazine authors.) He might've just tried to ask me out. Lelouch's stomach flipped giddily. He kept looking at me when we were talking about the thousand-crane wishes…

I might be jumping to conclusions, Lelouch reminded himself, shaking his head. That might not be it at all. Maybe Suzaku is just embarrassed about something else. He ignored how his stomach suddenly clenched at the thought. I have to look at this logically, he reflected, coaching himself into his practiced way of thinking. It could be any number of things, but for now, I have to pursue the most obvious lead. If the pieces line up…

Dizzying numbness swept through Lelouch at the prospect. Nerves tingling, he absentmindedly dropped his magazine on the pile; he didn't even notice it was skewed compared to the others. Can't believe... Lightning flashed just as he looked out the window. Even though the world outside was steadily growing darker, the colors seemed sharper and brighter than before. Suzaku might... All of Lelouch's senses were heightened, and his brain was racing with Suzaku's image in mind. The air was electric around him, and there was matching lightning inside his veins. He could barely concentrate, he was so stunned and overwhelmed with feeling. Me and him…

Thunder boomed, jerking Lelouch out of his stupor. First things first, I need to test my theory. It took him ten seconds to decide on a course of action. Face hard and determined, he swiftly rose from his seat and strode towards the Student Council computer; in the back of his mind, he was glad that for once, Nina wasn't hogging it. His fingers flew over the keyboard as he looked up 'Orange Café, Area 11' in the Biglobe search engine. He scanned the address that popped up, and then memorized the restaurant information. "It's semi-casual," he noted, trying to picture his closet. He was sure he had something appropriate, and he had a little over three hours to get ready.

Abandoning his paperwork to Arthur, Lelouch almost floated back to his room, still toying with the idea of Suzaku liking him.

"Have you come up with a name for your little pawns yet?" asked C.C. perched on his bedspread. Her arm dangled off the edge, hand hovering over an empty Pizza Hut box. His bedroom had been clean and organized before her arrival. It had also smelled less like cheese, tomatoes, grease, and regrets.

Lelouch didn't spare her a glance, instead rushing to throw open his closet. "As a matter of fact, I have," he answered her, still without looking. His hanging clothes were arranged primarily by fabric type and texture; tonight, he would go off of feelings. On autopilot, he continued, "They'll be called the Black Knights. With my guidance, they will surely topple Britannia."

C.C. stared at him, watching with a bored look on her face as Lelouch yanked out random articles of clothing. "What a clever little name. Did you come up with that one all by yourself, Chess Master?"

Lelouch finally swirled to face her, a glare distorting his delicate features. "Shut up, witch," he hissed. "I don't have time for your nonsense right now. I'm busy." Inwardly panicking, he spun around, turning his attention back to his closet. A dress shirt slipped off its hanger and crumpled into a wrinkled mess, but Lelouch paid it as much attention as he'd paid the immortal witch. I only have three hours to find something suitable for Suzaku!

"Are you looking for your costume? It's in the wash."

"I wasn't, actually," Lelouch growled before staring at C.C. incredulously. "Why is my Zero outfit in the wash?"

C.C.'s lips spread in what could have been called a smile, except she didn't smile. Not really. Not around Lelouch, at any rate. "Oh, don't worry," she assured him flippantly. "I made sure no one would notice; it's mixed in with your school jackets. Unless someone takes your laundry out, no one will see it."

Lelouch's eyebrows drew together. "That wasn't what I was asking."

"I had to get the melted cheese out of the zipper teeth," C.C. explained simply.

Starting to shake, Lelouch hissed in a low voice, "And why was there melted cheese near my costume?"

C.C. continued to stare at him, the bored expression never leaving her face. "Because I was eating pizza." She drummed her fingers on the cardboard pizza box. "While I was wearing the Zero costume, I mean."

Lelouch very nearly fell to his knees. His teeth clenched, and he closed his eyes, mentally counting to ten to try to calm down. It didn't work, so he tried again; he ended up counting to a hundred before his muscles started to relax. "Did anyone see you in the laundry room?" he demanded, starting to panic again.

"No, but Nunnally knows I was washing your clothes," C.C. said. "She thinks it's cute of me to take care of you like that."

Glaring, Lelouch growled, "I don't need you to take care of me!" I don't need anyone!

"Naturally," C.C. agreed. "I'm not here to babysit you. I'm just sticking around until you fulfill your side of our contract."

Lelouch turned fully back to his closet and started to rummage hastily through some jackets. "What do you want anyway?"

"I'll tell you all in good time," C.C. promised, almost sweetly.

Lelouch tensed up again. "The sooner you tell me," he muttered, "the sooner I can give you whatever you want—and then we can both go our separate ways."

C.C. mockingly chuckled. "Eager to get rid of me, are you?"

A fond little half-smile wormed its way onto Lelouch's face, and he was grateful his head was buried in his closet. C.C., that witch, could irritate him like no other, but she was also something of a confidante. At least about the whole Zero thing. While most days he wanted to strangle her, despite her immortality, he'd gotten used to her annoying presence and unhelpful comments. I couldn't imagine life without her now. I need someone around to drive me crazy. "Something like that," he agreed, picturing Suzaku driving him crazy in a different way.

"What are you doing?" C.C. asked abruptly. This time, she actually sounded interested in his life. Her curiosity was mild, but the fact that it existed at all was noteworthy.

Lelouch veered back, clutching a sharp-looking black jacket that was cut in a slightly different style from his Ashford uniform. It opened down the front, requiring another shirt beneath it. He always dealt with layers. "I'm trying to figure out what to wear tonight."

C.C. snorted. "You sound like a girl."

"Ignoring your sexist statement, I'm testing a hypothesis," Lelouch said indignantly. "In order to do that, I need to look good. Really good." So good Suzaku won't know what hit him!

Rolling onto her side, C.C. stared at Lelouch with passive golden eyes. "I've never heard of a science experiment that required dressing up."

Lelouch tossed his head, ruffling through some black slacks and dress shoes in the back of his closet. "I'm surprised you know what the scientific method is," he shot back, grabbing a clean-cut white t-shirt to put on under the jacket. A suit would be too formal, and even a button-up collared shirt was pushing it a bit far. He didn't want to send the wrong message to Suzaku, after all; he just wanted to confirm his suspicions.

"Oh please," said C.C., insulted. "I was around before the scientific method was designed."

Lelouch paused, struck again by how old his new accomplice was. Shaking his head, he gathered the selected clothes and ignored C.C. on his way to the bathroom. He had more important things to think about. As he took an impromptu shower, his thoughts revolved around a certain green-eyed brunet, and he lifted his head into the shower spray to cool his heating cheeks. He swayed on his feet; cursing, he blamed the slippery wet tub for almost losing his footing. He had a mission objective to focus on, and getting sidetracked was not an option.

When he had showered, flossed, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, dressed, smoothed out nonexistent wrinkles, and brushed his teeth again, he walked back to his room. He smirked as C.C.'s eyes widened, glad to have a test subject to practice on for his real target. "I assume I succeed?" he prompted.

C.C. chuckled. "You don't look half bad. Who are you trying to impress?"

Heat crept over Lelouch's cheeks, and he looked awkwardly to the side. "I'm not trying to impress anyone," he grumbled. He didn't sound convincing, even to himself. "I'm just going out to dinner with a friend."

"Just a friend?" C.C. pressed slyly.

"Yes!" Lelouch caved. A torrent of raindrops suddenly splattered against his windowpane. "I'm…testing his reaction."

C.C. sat up, a gleam in her eye. The wind howled outside. "'His'?"

"Suzaku's," Lelouch admitted grudgingly. Why am I giving her more ammunition?

C.C. tilted her head, her lime green hair falling over one shoulder. "Oh, the soldier from Shinjuku."

Lelouch's head snapped up. "I told you already, everything's fine. I trust Suzaku." I trust him more than anybody.

"I'll bet," she laughed.

"It's not like that!" Lelouch protested vehemently. She's getting the wrong impression! Forcibly calming, he asked, "Do...you think cologne is too much?" He carefully avoided her eyes.

C.C.'s laughter escalated. "Have fun on your not-date," she said, waving him off, ignoring his question.

Lelouch shook his head, disgruntled. "Not yet. The reservations aren't until seven." To waste time, he sat in front of his computer and pondered his situation against a backdrop of thunder. Discovering Suzaku's feelings is one objective for tonight, he thought, but there's also the matter of that man Ohgi. If I want to form the Black Knights, do I need to steer clear of Suzaku, even if it turns out my suspicions are correct? Something in his chest ached at that option, and he pressed a fist over his left breast. It felt like the storm had moved into his heart, and it was wrecking him from the inside. For tonight, I can easily handle one phone call. I can make it brief, alter my plans a bit…but what about later? Suzaku's in the Army, and I'm already a wanted man. If I continue down this track, we'll only drift further apart. We'll officially be on opposite sides, and I can't live with a foot in both worlds for long.

Moaning, he laid his head down on his desk with a thump. C.C. didn't say anything, letting him have his moment, and he was grateful for it. Is Suzaku worth giving up Zero? The answer came with a profound certainty. No, he's not.

But he's worth trying for regardless.

Raising his head, Lelouch worked on his rebellion plans until it was time to leave. The storm rose and fell. With a nod to C.C., he left his room—only to dash back five minutes later to dab on a hint of spicy cologne.

"Your company has been waiting for you these past ten minutes, Mr. Kururugi," was the hostess's only comment. The snide look on her face let him know what she thought of an Eleven dining in her restaurant, but she stiffly waved him in.

The Orange Café wasn't ritzy enough to be on the top-ten list of Britannian restaurants, but it was high-class enough that an Eleven like Suzaku was unused to such finery. Pastel paintings of citrus fruit lined the walls, and there was a stone sculpture of a ball—presumably an orange—in the front entryway. The tablecloths, napkins, and silverware were pristine and perfectly arranged. However, there were no butlers or valets, and the restaurant lights hanging from the ceiling certainly weren't fancy chandeliers. The place seemed friendly enough, like somewhere he could bring his friends—wait.

"Company?" Suzaku repeated, dumbfounded. Had Lloyd's and Cecile's last-minute engagement gotten canceled? But no, one of them would have called…

The hostess smiled despite herself. "He's quite good-looking."

Suzaku's mouth opened slightly, but he couldn't think of anything to say. A half-formed wish flew through his brain, but he dared not hope. He'd said he was busy.

"Come along then," the hostess said, gesturing to Suzaku with a menu in hand. "You don't want to keep him waiting too long."

Suzaku mutely nodded, sniffing in the thick aroma of cooked food. His feet felt heavy, and anticipation pooled in his stomach. Frantic eyes darted over the restaurant's occupants, searching for a familiar face—before stopping on one in particular. He could have sworn his heart stopped at the sight of his best friend sitting in a booth by himself. The world tilted around a turning point. Without a word, Suzaku slid into the seat opposite the raven-haired, violet-eyed vision and clasped his hands under the table. His gaze was wondering as he stared at his friend, unable to turn away even as the hostess placed his menu on the tabletop.

Lelouch looked more dashing than normal in that sharp black jacket he wore, accentuated by the contrasting white undershirt. His hair fell gracefully into those stunning violet irises, and Suzaku wanted to reach across the table and brush back those bangs—if only to feel satiny black hair slide through his fingers. Lelouch's delicate hands were busy spreading out a napkin, and that self-confident smirk was plastered on his face. A faint whiff of tangy spice emanated from him, and Suzaku had to prevent himself from inhaling too deeply. It smelled more appetizing than the food.

Lelouch's refined, princely dignity made Suzaku self-consciously aware of his own less-than-stellar appearance. Not counting on eating with anyone, and not having nice clothes in the first place due to his status as an Honorary Britannian, he'd just thrown on jeans and a plain brown t-shirt. In addition to that, his hair was damp from running through the last spells of sprinkling rain. Not only did he look out of place, he looked downright sloppy—especially compared to Lelouch.

"I was almost afraid you weren't going to show," Lelouch murmured, moving his napkin to his lap. The smile he directed at Suzaku was dazzling and warm—and just a tad sultry.

Suzaku forgot how to breathe. His hands shook under the table. Finally finding his voice, he managed to croak, "Yeah, well, I had no idea you were going to show." He looked down, desperate to look away from those piercing purple eyes, and said, "I'm not late. It's just seven now. You just always have to be punctual—no, not even that. Early! For something you said you weren't even going to come to!"

"I changed my mind," Lelouch explained flippantly. He smiled that wonderful smile at his best friend again and kept his eyes trained on Suzaku's. "How come you decided to come here instead of going to the movie with the others? Not that I'd have wanted you to do that, but I'm just curious."

Suzaku shrugged. "No point in letting a good dinner go to waste. I mean, the reservations were already set up." He carefully gazed past Lelouch at a painting of a kumquat. "You can't feed me forever." And I'd die if I had to live off Miss Cecile's cooking.

Lelouch scowled. "You're still not comfortable with the others on the Student Council," he deduced, effortlessly seeing through Suzaku's feigned response.

"It's not that," Suzaku objected, snapping his eyes back to Lelouch's. The garbled chatter of nearby diners pierced their bubble. "They're all really nice people and I'm comfortable with them, but…" They're not you.

Lelouch cutely tilted his head to one side and prompted, "But…?"

"They're not you," Suzaku said, mentally smacking himself even as he accidentally said it aloud. "Or Nunnally," he hastened to add, trying to cover his tracks. He squirmed in his seat. "They're a nice bunch and all. I enjoy being with them…but spending time with them without you there feels wrong."

Smiling a bit smugly, Lelouch lowered his head. "I understand," he said. "These types of things take time."

"Yeah," Suzaku agreed, nodding once. His eyes fell on his menu and he picked it up, starting to peruse it. Hiding his face behind it, glad for the cover, he said wistfully, "Not all of them like me."

Lelouch pursed his lips. "You mean Nina? She…has her reservations about the Japanese people, but she'll see soon enough. It might take her a little while longer to come around, but I'm sure she will." He paused, waiting until Suzaku put his menu down before tacking on, "After all, what's not to love about you?"

Suzaku felt his blood heat at those words and—yes, Lelouch was smirking again, amethyst eyes glinting with satisfaction.

Chuckling at Suzaku's stunned silence, Lelouch casually asked, "Do you know yet what you want to order?"

Thankful for an excuse to look down again, Suzaku eyed the dinner options. He wrinkled his nose at the prices, looking up and admitting, "These are too expensive."

Lelouch just waved a hand, brushing off the concern. "It's fine, Suzaku. I've got you covered."

At his offer, Suzaku bolted upright, displeasure wrinkling his face. "No, Lelouch," he said firmly. "I was the one who asked you ou—ah, I mean, invited you. That makes it my responsibility to pay for us."

His smirk widening, Lelouch calmly refuted, "Not true. If anything, I'm more financially secure than you are, so it's my responsibility." He leaned his elbows on the table and rested his chin on interlocked fingers. "Don't bother arguing with me, Suzaku. You know I always win."

Deflating, Suzaku sank back into the vinyl of the booth. "How about we each pay for ourselves?" he suggested as a compromise. I won't even say anything if you pay with your gambling winnings.

Lelouch curtly shook his head. "There's no need to do that. You're tight on money, so just let me take care of you."

Suzaku's eyes widened and his face paled, Lelouch's last words echoing in his head and implying something else altogether. He almost moaned at the unfairness of it all, but he managed to suppress it at the last second. "But you always cook me dinner," he pointed out weakly. "I need to pay you back for everything you've done for me."

Again, Lelouch shook his head. "We're not keeping score here, Suzaku. You don't owe me anything."

Suzaku persisted, "But we're too imbalanced!"

"If you're going to think in those terms," Lelouch said, "then you saving my life a few weeks ago overshadows any meaningless little things I've done for you."

"That…was nothing," Suzaku said embarrassedly.

Lelouch pounded a fist on the table, rattling the silverware and attracting attention from other restaurant patrons. "It was not 'nothing'!" he protested. "You took a bullet for me. How can you think that's worthless?!"

Suzaku shrugged one shoulder. Deep down, he was pleased Lelouch was so passionate about him. But… I don't deserve his kindness. Lelouch just doesn't understand. All the same, he wanted it. Badly.

Exhaling through his nostrils, Lelouch winded down. In a clipped, no-nonsense tone, he ordered, "Suzaku, choose something to eat or I will order for you—and I'll choose the most expensive plate."

Suzaku gaped at him and browsed the menu. There really was no arguing with Lelouch when he got like this. Looking over all the options, he noticed how each dinner was served in large portions. Glancing up, catching Lelouch's eye, he shyly asked, "How do you feel…about sharing?"

"Sharing?" Lelouch repeated, mild interest lacing his tone. "I'm game for that. What did you have in mind?"

Your body. The thought flashed through Suzaku's head, but he caught it and bit his tongue before he could embarrass himself yet again that night. "Um," he said, trying to focus. He was a little taken aback that Lelouch—OCD Lelouch—was willing to share a meal with him. One last time, he looked over the menu choices. "I've haven't had steak in a while," he decided in a mumble.

Lelouch smiled again. "Steak it is," he agreed.

Suzaku hesitantly grinned back. He was caught up in staring at Lelouch when their waitress came by, and he blushed when he realized where his thoughts had wandered. At least Lelouch didn't seem to mind being stared at; in fact, he looked rather pleased at the attention.

"What can I get you boys to drink?" asked the waitress. "Do you know what you want to order?"

Before Suzaku could say anything, Lelouch (sexily) took charge. "We'll both have water, and we've decided to share the Supreme Steak. Medium rare."

A bit confused at the combined order, the waitress raised an eyebrow but jotted it down. "It'll be out shortly," she promised before making a quick getaway.

"See?" Lelouch pressed with a self-satisfied expression in Suzaku's direction. "It's okay to have things you want."

Suzaku suddenly really, really needed that water as his brain supplied him with an image of his best friend, donning only that alluring smirk as he posed naked for Suzaku's extreme enjoyment. Want, Suzaku's body insisted, and he was glad the table covered his sudden half-hard erection. Trying to get himself under control, he mumbled, "Not always."

Frowning, Lelouch pointed out, "It's thinking like that that leads to you getting hurt." He gestured at Suzaku's temple, where the small bully-inflicted cut had already healed. "We never talked about Synclair Worth and his gang throwing textbooks at your face. How did that happen?"

With a half-hearted shrug, Suzaku said in a small voice, "They outnumbered me."

Lelouch snorted. "Right. Like that made a difference." His tone confident, he said, "You could take them all on at once and come out on top."

Suzaku wrestled down a mental image of himself on top of Lelouch, explaining in a rush, "They took me by surprise. It happened kinda fast, okay? I'm not proud of it." There was no need to get into how he'd actively chosen to passively take the bullying; that would only upset Lelouch, being as self-righteous as he was.

Looking at him with consideration, Lelouch nodded. "You don't have to be perfect," he said in a soft, sincere voice. "I didn't bring this up to make you feel bad about yourself. I'm just concerned for you."

Sucking in a breath, Suzaku lifted his grateful gaze to Lelouch's. "I know," he murmured, just as softly. "But I'm okay, Lelouch, honestly. And I don't want to spoil our time together thinking about those bastards."

Lelouch hummed in his throat but let the subject drop. He kept staring at Suzaku with focused concentration.

"So, um," Suzaku said, his shoulders bending under the weight of self-consciousness as he tried to think about anything other than Lelouch's penetrative gaze. "How about that, uh, assembly for Prince Clovis's death? Your f—uh, the emperor's speech was…let's see…really something?"

At that, Lelouch's face darkened. "I don't want to spoil our time together thinking about those bastards," he echoed in a tight voice. It was crystal clear what he thought on the subject.

Suzaku nodded with understanding, slightly confused as to why Clovis was lumped into the category of 'those bastards' but respecting that his friend didn't want to talk about his family or their policies. There was shattering from the back kitchen, the jarring sound audible from anywhere in the restaurant. Silence permeated their private table before Suzaku ventured, "What would you have done if I hadn't shown up? I mean, I told you I wasn't going to come…"

Lelouch chuckled. "I would've had to eat an entire steak by myself."

Suzaku's gaze snapped to Lelouch. There was amusement—and something else, something indefinable—smoldering in those purple eyes, and Suzaku's breath caught. "You said you were busy."

"Didn't we already go over this?" Lelouch asked, leaning forward. "I am busy, but not too busy for you, Suzaku." His gaze pierced Suzaku's, and he said, "I had a feeling you'd show up, and I thought it worthwhile to gamble on you. As always, you didn't disappoint."

Flustered, Suzaku lowered his eyes, wrenching his gaze from Lelouch's with great difficulty. "You…think too highly of me," he said quietly.

"You don't think highly enough of yourself," Lelouch countered immediately. "You were right earlier—when you said we didn't get to spend a lot of quality time together. I see you almost every day, but it's never enough." Pausing to stare at Suzaku with a highly pleased expression, he tilted his head. Smirking again, he plunged on, "So tell me, how are you doing? We have all night together, so don't rush. I want to hear everything."

Warmth crept through Suzaku's chest, and he started to speak. "I'm busy a lot," he started.

"With the military?" Lelouch asked, displeasure evident in his tone.

Slowly, Suzaku nodded. "I know you're not happy that I'm still enlisted."

Lelouch frowned. "They shot you," he growled in explanation.

"Not the people I work for now," Suzaku said hastily. "The Engineering Corp has been really good to me. Honestly, they don't even care that I'm an Eleven."

"Japanese," Lelouch muttered, his correction almost inaudible. Pale fingers curled into a fist on the tabletop, and he had to take deep breaths before visibly calming down. "What sorts of things do you do?" he asked in a strained voice.

Suzaku squirmed, unable to look his friend in the eye. I have to keep up with my lie. What did I tell him and Nunnally before? Damn, Lelouch, why is it so hard to think when you're looking at me like that? "I'm a mechanic," he said finally, his gaze focused intently on his silverware. "I do odd jobs here and there, make sure things are working right…you know, easy manual labor." He looked up and laughed. "Well, it wouldn't be easy for you, Lelouch."

A small smile cracked on Lelouch's face. "Just as long as you're not in danger like before," he said softly.

"No!" Suzaku reassured, voice high and squeaky in his panic. Clearing his throat, he said again, "No…nothing dangerous this time." His stomach churned with guilt at the blatant lie, but it was orders. Besides, he didn't want to concern Lelouch with the troubling truth. "Don't worry about me so much, Lelouch." Keep worrying about me, Lelouch.

"Can I help it if I do?" Lelouch asked. He slid his hand across the top of the table, his palm hovering over Suzaku's—

Just as his phone rang.

Suzaku jerked back at the jolting sound, and Lelouch's face twisted into a pained grimace. Suzaku nodded the okay to take the call and settled in his seat, his eyes trained on Lelouch's retreating figure. Who is calling Lelouch? Isn't everyone else at the movies? What else could he be up to?

Then again, I don't know him like I did before. That has to change.

"Yes?" Lelouch answered in a clipped tone, shivering in the back alley of the restaurant. The ground was wet from the recent rain shower, but the air still smelled like rotting garbage. He made sure his voice was free of the frustration he felt at being interrupted inside, but he also made sure the man on the other line knew he was all business.

"Zero!" the Japanese rebel Ohgi greeted. "What did you want to talk to me about? Is there something we can help you with—something to do with fighting Britannia?"

Lelouch laughed inside. Little do they know… "Indeed," he said aloud. "How would you feel about joining forces—permanently?"

There was the sound of crackling over the phone, accompanied by heavy breathing. "You…you serious?" Ohgi finally asked, shell-shocked.

"Ohgi," Lelouch stressed, "have you ever known me not to be serious?" He wrinkled his nose. Must he be so slow and dimwitted?

"R-right," Ohgi stuttered. "I'll have to talk to the others, but I'm pretty sure everyone'll agree."

Lelouch's grip tightened around his cell. "Contact me as soon as possible with your final answer. There's no time to lose." He took a deep breath and, assuring his success, asked, "How much do you know about the new viceroy of Area 11?"

"Cornelia?" muttered Ohgi dismally. "Just that she's worse than Clovis."

"She's positively ruthless," Lelouch warned. An alley cat slunk between his feet, hardly visible against the shadows. "We have to be careful. Clovis may have been a monster to the Elevens, but he was a fool. Cornelia has brains and brawn. We would do well not to underestimate her." A cleansing wind swept through the alleyway, ruffling Lelouch's hair and bringing with it the promise of victory.

Ohgi sighed over the line. "We needed your help against Clovis's men. If this new viceroy is as tough as you say, then we'll need you more than ever, Zero."

A self-satisfied smirk naturally tugged at Lelouch's lips. "Why, Ohgi, that was just what I wanted to hear." He heard spluttering over the phone and added, "Once you call to affirm your participation, I'll give you your next instructions. I have a base of operations already set up for our use, but I need to be sure of your answer before I share my power with you again. I'll be waiting for your call." There was a screech of a rat followed by the tremendous crash of a trashcan lid, and suddenly the sound of the rat cut off mid-squeak. Without waiting for an answer, Lelouch clicked his phone shut and slid it into his breast pocket. The low rumble of satisfied purring filled the back street.

"Now," he said, "I can get back to Suzaku." With the way things are going, Lelouch thought, it does seem a likely possibility that Suzaku is crushing on me. His pulse quickened at the idea. This night is turning out more productive than I anticipated. Remembering what had happened so far, he winced at some of his own actions that evening. Maybe I'm coming on too strong. I don't want him to get the wrong impression. An unexplained ache formed in his chest, and he wondered, But then…what is the wrong impression?

I have to look at the facts. Lelouch dragged his hand down his face until finally he clutched his chin; he stood in a standard thinking pose halfway between an overflowing garbage can and a rusty old chain link fence. He closed his eyes and instantly a picture of Suzaku formed in his mind, in crystal clear detail down to the last wavy curl of hair. Let's see. I enjoy spending time with him, more than I do anyone else. If given a choice, I'd be with Suzaku. Opening his eyes to slits, he glared at the filthy brick wall. Of course. That's a no-brainer. I like being in his company, but that doesn't necessarily mean I love him! Just thinking the four-letter word caused him to start hyperventilating. Clearly bothered by Lelouch's heavy breathing, the stray cat picked up the remains of its prey and trotted off into the night. It never let go of its happiness.

Lelouch exhaled noisily. His arms dropped to his sides, and his hands clenched into fists; he stood rigid, poised to snap at the slightest sound. That angle isn't working. Logic. I have to think logically! His muscles slowly started to relax, and his fingers unfurled. Observations. Events. Facts. The other day, I made my wish on the crane for Suzaku to be by me always. I always get outrageously angry when people target Suzaku for his background. I don't care that he's Japanese, but I get really mad when Suzaku doesn't stand up for himself. Lelouch automatically tensed again, and his fingers curled back into fists as he analyzed his feelings deeper. The alley seemed to melt around him, and he was back in the hallways of Ashford Academy, watching Synclair Worth and his gang of bullies shove Suzaku into the wall, throw books at his face, insult him... Before Lelouch knew it, a growl escaped his throat, tapering off into the empty air of the outside. I care about all my friends, but I care for Suzaku. He means more.

Fingers flexing in and out of fists, he rolled his shoulders. Sounds of distant traffic filtered through his ears. Think happy thoughts, he directed himself, ignoring a muffled car beep. Think of how happy and proud Suzaku was when I won that chess match a couple weeks ago. A silent gasp escaped his lips. Even back then, I thought he was handsome. I was jealous when the nobleman commented on his bronze skin. I wanted Suzaku— It was getting even harder to breathe now, and it had nothing to do with the foul odor in the air. I wanted Suzaku for myself. A sweeping sensation traveled down his body. I even like the thought of him wearing my clothes. That's why I offered him my gym uniform. Sighing, feeling suddenly lovestruck, Lelouch felt unsteady on his feet. He swayed, barely managing to catch himself on the filthy brick wall.

Let me try something else. What do I want? Lelouch tilted his head back, searching the sky for answers. Most of the night stars were blocked by the roofs overhanging the alleyway. "Figures," he complained aloud, shifting restlessly from one foot to the other. The movement of his body seemed to spark his brain into overdrive. I want Suzaku to agree with me. I want him with me more than I can explain. Why? His nails dug into the skin of his palms. Whenever I'm upset, just seeing Suzaku smile at me can make me feel better. When we touch, my stomach flip-flops. When he talks to me, my heart beats faster. When I think of Suzaku, I feel invincible. When he's with me, I feel safe—like I can truly be myself with him.

Except for Zero.

At the reminder, Lelouch staggered towards the rusty chain link fence as if someone had sucked the rebellious spirit right out of him. He crashed into the metal fence with a jarring thud, feeling his worries and emotions rattle around inside. I want to protect him so badly, which is both why I must be Zero and why I cannot tell him who I am. Weaving his fingers through a few open holes in the fence, he braced himself and pushed himself upright. The rust was scratchy beneath his fingertips, but he hardly noticed. The idea that Suzaku might love me—like that—makes me lightheaded. He swayed again, and he grasped the fence tighter for support and balance. It felt like his whole world was turning inside-out with opportunities, like he was being granted Geass all over again.

Leaning his forehead against the biting metal, Lelouch forced himself to take several deep breaths. For some reason, I feel like I want it to be—to be true. Even in the cool of night, he cheeks burned at the admission. Luckily, there was no one around to witness his romantically-induced breakdown. He couldn't break his cycle of thoughts, not even to make a stealthy retreat. Does Suzaku love me? And where would that leave us? Where would that leave me?

The only thing I know for certain is, of all the people in the world, I need Kururugi Suzaku the most.

After examining his own feelings, Lelouch was surprised to find that, unlike with Shirley, he wasn't averse to the idea of being with Suzaku. In fact, the thought of dating Suzaku seemed right—like moving into checkmate.

Lelouch tensed again, feeling floored by this conclusion. The special feelings had always been there, if unrecognized for what they were; no matter how he tried to add them up, his answer always equated "Suzaku." It wasn't that he desired his best friend with the passion of a thousand blazing suns; no, it was more subtle than that. It was merely an acknowledgment that out of the entire human populace, Kururugi Suzaku was the only person he could ever love and trust wholeheartedly—minus the whole Zero thing, of course, for obvious reasons. It was a unique comfort thing more than anything else, and it had always been there, even from the early days of their friendship back at the Kururugi Shrine all those years ago. Only now, the trust he placed in Suzaku could extend to cover a whole new range of possibilities, and Lelouch shivered deliciously at the thought. For the first time, he simply wanted…

For the first time, he simply wanted.

His feet itched to go back inside so he could confess his willingness—

"No," Lelouch scolded himself aloud, hoping the grounding sound of his voice would convince him to forsake his spontaneous plan. "Suzaku started this. The least I can do is let him finish." He rubbed his hands together, exhaling shakily. "If he doesn't do anything soon, I'll nudge him in the right direction." Waiting and observing more would also help him be absolutely sure that romance was the right track for them. Nodding to himself, he let go of the fence and stepped back inside.

Suzaku will be mine; the pieces are already in play.

That night, Suzaku had another dream.

He saw Lelouch sitting in that fancy restaurant, fitting right in with the glamorous atmosphere. He felt self-conscious, like before, only this time he realized he'd come to the eatery in the nude. His body slid automatically into the booth, and he was grateful that his exposed crotch was hidden beneath the table.

"Don't look so worried, Suzaku," Lelouch soothed, guessing what was wrong. "Here, I'll undress, too. Then we'll be the same!"

Suzaku wanted to protest, but he found he couldn't move his tongue as Lelouch seductively peeled off his jacket and shirt. He wanted to say, "We won't be the same—because you're too perfect!" But the words never left his lips, and Lelouch stood before him now on the table, slipping out of his too-tight black dress pants and briefs.

Lelouch smirked down at him, his stiff length waving invitingly at Suzaku from above. "Aren't you hungry?" he asked, yanking at Suzaku's upper arm. He lay down, spreading himself over the table, ignoring the angry jeers of the other restaurant patrons. "Come, Suzaku," he implored, bouncing his hips on the tabletop. "Have me for dinner."

Suzaku mindlessly lowered himself over Lelouch's prone body, breathing heavily on his dancing cock. Wordlessly, he opened his mouth and tentatively licked the tip, appreciating how Lelouch's stomach muscles rippled at the motion. His senses were heightened, feeling the judgmental stares boring into his naked back like daggers.

"Suzaku!" moaned Lelouch. It was the first time Lelouch had ever moaned his name.

"Yes, Your Highness?" Suzaku asked, Lelouch's voice giving him the strength to endure the surrounding hostility. He relaxed his throat, closing his lips around more of his best friend's shaft. It tasted like the steak they'd shared that night, and it tasted like friendship rekindled.

Hazy purple eyes stared Suzaku's eyes, and Lelouch's lips moved ever so slowly. "I want you…" But the rest was drowned out, and Suzaku's eyes slipped shut—

—and flew open to stare at his ceiling, his sheets twisted haphazardly around his body.

That same night, Lelouch dreamt of Suzaku for the first time.