I really didn't know what to expect when I walked into the living-room. My mind conjured the image of my sofa cleaved in two and each of them passed out on their own half with a stubborn look on their sleeping faces. The reality was far more strange than my fantasy. They cuddled together like two huge, brown kittens. I stood and blinked at them. Shocked. Completely shocked.

I try to be a good person. I tried to be like Yugi, but in the end, I know why I had the Ring, why I harbored the thief and not the king. A good person would leave them alone; sneak out quietly, go to work a little early, pick up breakfast on the way, and never mention what they saw. That's what Yugi would do.

But I'm not Yugi.

And what would Ryou Bakura do?

I grabbed my cell phone and snapped three pictures.

Ha, use me as a pincushion during Monster World.

How did I like the feel of polycarbonate plastic in my hand? Well, Bakura, not as much as you'll like these pictures, you cuddly slut.

Then a better idea popped into my head. Video. I snuck close to them and hit record on my phone. I watched them a moment, naked, only covered by their blanket. Their hair was a tousled mess, especially Kek's, and I realized too late how arousing it was to watch them sleep, beautiful, naked, and strangely peaceful in each other's arms. Nothing would have made me happier than to take off my clothes and snuggle between them. Instead, I shook Bakura's shoulder.

"Hey Bakura, you going to wake up or just be the little spoon all morning?"

Bakura swatted my hand away like a playful kitten and mumbled, "let me sleep another hour, Ryou. Then I swear we can play Monster World all you want."

Naked men and Monster World? All I had to do was quit my job – at least call in sick – but I couldn't kid myself, I was too reliable to do either of those things. Bakura rolled over and stole the blanket, leaving Kek exposed for my feasting eyes and video-recording cell phone.

"Bastard." Kek tugged at the cover, hooking Bakura back against his chest.

The motion woke Bakura. "Where?" His question died as he looked at Kek and then around the room to re-orient himself. He made an angry, grunting sound and sat up, grabbing his waist-wrap and tying it around his midsection before moving the blanket and standing. He noticed me. "That's not fair, Ryou. Our heads were messed up last night from being thrown into physical bodies. Delete that damn video if you don't want your phone tossed out the window."

"It's not fair," I echoed, still recording. "Yeah, life is pretty unfair. You taught me that, you know. I'll delete it before I go to work."

It was okay to lie if it was to Bakura, right?

Seemed okay to me. I was going to make nineteen copies before I deleted the video from my phone. He wouldn't be able to find them all.

He snorted and grinned. "Didn't take you for a voyeur."

"That's funny because I didn't take you for a cuddle-bunny."

"I told you, I wasn't myself last night."

"Nice excuse."

In his sleep, Kek kicked a foot out and it tripped me. My thumb accidentally hit the stop button, but I hung onto the phone as I tumbled to the ground beside Kek. With Bakura gone, Kek grabbed me in his place, nuzzling against my throat and hair.

Bakura used the pad of his foot to shake the top of Kek's head. "Wake-up, you idiot, and quit molesting my host." Bakura walked off to the kitchen.

And all I could think was, No, no. Please most certainly continue molesting his host. His host is extremely okay with this.

I giggled at my own stupid thoughts. Kek had the body of a god and I delighted in the way he pressed me against his chest.

"Asshole, his name's Ryou," Kek muttered to a Bakura that was already gone. The act of speaking woke him. He blinked his eyes open and saw me. "Ryou?"

I laughed harder and I couldn't stop. He realized he imprisoned me in a bear-hug and jerked back. Only, I was laying on top of the blanket so when he moved the blanket didn't move with him, leaving him naked for a second time.

Yup, body of a god. Good thing he named himself after one.

I stood up as fast as I could so he could reclaim the cover. The slight coral on his cheeks showed his embarrassment. "I'm sorry. I-I'm sorry." He refused to look at me and I hated it.

"It's no big deal."

"We probably shouldn't have, but last night, everything was … raw ... and, I don't know ..." he shook his head, incapable of articulating what he felt.

I put a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, really. This is better than you fighting and trying to kill each other."

"It's just, last night, and he was sad. And we were joking about how it'd piss off Marik. But then we did it. And I knew it was stupid. But I did it anyway. I couldn't help myself. It made me feel . . ." he swallowed and ran his fingers through his chaos of hair. "Like a person."

The last part made my soul hurt.

"You are a person."

I grabbed him in another hug. I could smell them both and the night before on his skin. It was wonderful, and my cheeks burned at the thought of it – although I was trying my best not to think about it. I was kinda jealous of Bakura. He would be the type to just say "hey, let's have sex," and then get it. I couldn't work that fast. I needed to know a person, flirt, get some sort of mental connection before I could gather enough confidence to unzip my jeans.

I tried imagining myself acting more like Bakura, accidentally catching them last night and smirking and asking "would this happen to be a three player game?" Holding Kek like I was, it was too easy to imagine the way his body could move beneath me, or on top of me, or in front of me while Bakura was behind me. Shit. Shit. Shit. I needed to think of anything else.

The whole idea was stupid anyway. Yugi already thought I'd lost my mind because I was letting them stay here. I couldn't imagine the look on his face if he knew I was even thinking about sleeping with either of them – both of them at once. It may have seemed weird to anyone else, but Bakura and I shared my body for a long time. There was an intimacy in that. It would be easy to sleep with Bakura because of that.

Sleeping with them was the best-worst idea ever and once it was in my head, it didn't want to go away. Besides, it would serve Yugi right if I did sleep with them both at once – my own revenge on Yugi for everything that happened last year. Then again, with Atem back I doubt Yugi would care who I slept with, so it'd be poor revenge.

Oh gods, I was as bad as them. Wasn't that the excuse they used? Hey, let's piss of Marik and sleep together. Maybe that's how I could get them in bed – convince them it'd somehow piss off Atem.

I kept waiting for my brain to interrupt my thoughts and remind me that both Kek and Bakura did horrible things and that I shouldn't want to get into their pants, but my brain never came to my rescue. If anything it plotted against me by imagining what they looked like the night before, dark bodies and pale hair and legs twisted together.

Stop thinking. Stop thinking. Stop thinking.

It was hard to remember who they were three years ago. The stink of Shadow magic and blood didn't cling to them anymore. It was like a curse was on them and the gods broke it when they sent them back – the frogs were now princes. The princes were still jerks, but they were funny, sexy jerks who acted tough but were really teddy bears under their tough-guy surface so I wanted to sleep with them anyway.

Kek squirmed in my arms. "I-I, um, I need a shower."

Not half as bad as I do. A freezing cold shower.

I kept him in my arms. It was selfish by that point. I'd meant to comfort him, but it somehow became an excuse to touch him. "Sure. I'll make breakfast while you shower. Do you like omelets?"

"I don't know. I've never had them." His cheek was warm against my ear as he whispered. "I'm sure I'll like anything you cook."

I smiled and poked his ribs. It made him squirm harder. My Kek was ticklish. I let him go and walked into the kitchen, a hot, flushed mess and a bundle of inappropriate thoughts. Bakura sat at the table, eating his dinner leftovers and typing on my laptop. I walked past him and headed to the fridge. I grabbed a chopstick I kept separate from the others for my hair and twisted my white strands into a knot. With my face flushed, the air on my neck felt pleasant.

I glanced over my shoulder. "Bakura, please don't do anything illegal on my computer."

"I promise not to do anything too illegal until I get my own computer."

I sighed. "Bakura, I'm not letting you stay here so you can go back to being a thief."

"No. You're letting us stay here until we figure out what we want from our new lives and how to obtain what we want. Well, there's only one thing I want and I have a plan on how to get it, but in the meantime, Kek and I need birth certificates, I.D.'s, passports, immunization records, and work visas. I can't get those things legally."

My mouth dropped open. I never thought about documents that would prove that they existed before yesterday. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"

He turned away from the screen and looked at me. "Look, about last night . . . that was my fault, so don't blame him. Just say so and I'll make sure it doesn't happen again."

I mussed his hair because I knew it'd make him angry. "Awww, you made a friend."

"Fuck you, Ryou."

"Only if Kek gets to join in."

I wasn't sure why I said it. I mean, I knew why it was the first thing that came to mind, but I often didn't say the first thing that came to mind. I wasn't a bold person, but Virgos don't have filters and the joke about Kek slipped out before I could censor myself. I turned back to our breakfast and held my breath, praying to the gods that he didn't hear me.

A pause stretched between us and I thought myself safe until Bakura's dark, sardonic laughter broke the silence. "You were being serious."

"Of course not. I was joking."

"Oh, I don't think so."

"Come on. You guys are facetious assholes all the time. I can't make one snarky comeback?"

He stood up and walked behind me. I felt his arms around my waist as he pulled me into his chest. I gripped the counter, my knuckles bone white. I breathed hard through my mouth as I waited to see what he'd do. Disappointment washed over me when Bakura pressed his lips to my ear and asked, "did you erase that video?"

I made a noise that could have meant 'yes', 'no', or 'please hold me tighter,' depending on how Bakura wanted to interpret it. He stepped away and I frowned when I saw my phone in his hand. I never noticed him stealing it. He played my video, smiling as he watched himself. He tossed the phone back to me.

"Yeah, I can't say that I blame you. We're fucking hot, aren't we? At least the gods got that part right."

"Be quiet." My face was scarlet; I could feel it. I'd been riled up before and Bakura grabbing me was a little too much for me to deal with. I could have thrown him on the table at that moment, tossed that stupid waist-wrap to the floor, and changed that confident smirk on his face to a much prettier expression, but I had to go to work. Damn work. Why was I responsible? I didn't want to be a functional member of society.

"But I'm right, aren't I? Admit it, Ryou. Don't we tempt you even a little bit?"

I grabbed two onions and slammed them on the counter. "Well, I'm not blind."

He chuckled again. "It might be fun staying here for a bit after all."

"Gods, I hate you."

"Oh, okay, too bad then. Well, if you're not interested, mind if I borrow the condoms under your bathroom sink?"

"They're expired." I began chopping the onions, unable to hide the bitter undertone in my voice. They probably weren't, but it felt like it'd been that long ago.

"That's a shame, because I kinda wanted to add a third member to my party, and you're uninterested, so I thought maybe I should go out tonight and hunt around, you know?"

With that I started laughing, and the sound was significantly more bitter than my voice had been. I knew he was teasing me, but I responded nonetheless. "Oh please, you couldn't handle the Domino gay scene. They'd eat you alive and spit out the bones."

Bakura snorted, his arm draped over the back of his chair. "You survived. I'm sure I'd manage."

I frowned. He thought I was joking. "Bakura, I know you're teasing me, but please, if you ever do anything like that . . . be careful, okay?"

He considered me for a moment and then reflected my frown back at me. "I was teasing about going out, if that's what you meant, but I wasn't teasing you ."

I stared at him, trying to think of how to respond to his words. Was he really trying to include me? It seemed like some sort of sneaky Bakura-thief trap.

"I mean . . ." He looked away, an uncharacteristic expression on his face that I couldn't quite place. "I mean . . ."

"What do you mean, Bakura?"

He started laughing. "I don't know what I mean. I told you . Kek and I are all loopy from coming back. I feel . . ." he shook his head. "You know, you could, but whatever. You know where we sleep."

I sighed and went back to making breakfast.

When Kek entered the kitchen, Bakura was typing again and I was sniffling and teary from chopping onions.

Without words, Kek rinsed a dish cloth with cold water and rang out the excess, pressing the cloth against my eyes. "Here, this is what Ishizu did when the onions made her cry."

I smiled, blind. "Thanks, Kek. That's sweet."

"I – it's nothing. I – um, I'm probably in your way." He ran to the nearest chair and sat down, staring at the table.

I dropped the onions into the hot wok. They hissed and sizzled, filling the room with the pungent smell. The sounds of chopping and sizzling filled the kitchen as I worked. When I had to fold the omelette I nearly had a panic attack. I wanted them to have a good breakfast, but I was afraid of ruining it. Somehow I pulled off getting all three in the shape I wanted them and set the three plates on the table.

The atmosphere had that next-day-awkward vibe that sometimes happens when you wake up hungover in your best friend's bed. Bakura continued typing on my computer, and Kek stared at his plate. I forced myself to eat, I was going to be late for work but I didn't care anymore. It was supposed to be my day off, those jerks are lucky I covered for them all the time.

Kek stood up and put his plate in the fridge. "Excuse me. I need some fresh air."

I watched him leave. He wore one of the new outfits we bought yesterday, jeans and a black t-shirt. I sighed and turned to Bakura. "I have to go to work."

I trudged out the door. No more overtime; I was stressed out of my mind. I texted Yugi to let him know I wasn't ax-murdered in my sleep. I wanted to send him one of the pictures I took that morning to prove my point, but that would be mean, so I stared at them and smiled as I walked to the craft store. Yugi never replied, which was odd, so I texted him one more time. My dysfunctional brain daydreamed about Atem ax-murdering Yugi in his sleep. Plot twist, no one saw it coming, the Pharaoh snapped and slew my best friend while his enemies kanoodled in my living room.

Ammit will devour me when I die for being so twisted.

I saw the craft store a block away. I should have loved my job. I loved everything we sold and I thought the discount would be cool, but dealing with people all day long exhausted me. The second hand dragged zombie-slow on my watch as I waited for my shift to end. Every angry old woman in Domino City wanted yarn – a softer, brighter, different colored yarn that what we (or anyone else on the planet) sold. I helped them as best I could, smiling, smiling, smiling, but the frowns never left their faces as they complained. One lady got mad because we didn't have enough dress patterns, another because we didn't have the fabric she'd bought five years ago, another thought I should be ashamed of myself because the store was out of J-hooks in the crochet section. I apologized and kept a smile on my face too big for words. Out of all the things I should have been ashamed of – the J-hooks never made it to my personal list. Even after I checked in the back twice (although I explained the first time that there wouldn't be anything in our bays that wasn't already on display), she still stared at me. It was like she expected me to conquer J-hooks from the Shadow Realm. I would have tried, if I didn't know for a certainty that the Shadow Realm was also fresh out of crochet needles. The store across town never ran out, ever – she told me so five times – and they had twice as many colors of yarn to chose from. Of course they did. That's why she was shopping here instead, naturally.

I smiled and apologized and wondered when she was going to leave. It took all my will not to scream, "listen lady, I know I look cute and adorable with this smile on my face, but I'm the kind of sick, demented pervert that lusts after evil spirits, so please hurry and choose between the peony, salmon, or frosting pink yarn so I can go home and play Monster World."

And all that was before my lunch break.