Chapter Twenty-One

The Christmas break, and Rory's reprieve in Connecticut ended far too quickly for the brunette's liking. She'd spent those first few weeks hashing out her story, getting to a point where only further research that had to be conducted back in the city would improve it further. Then, she'd fully immersed herself in her family, in spending time with her mother, her soon-to-be-step-father, her step-father's daughter (who showed up around New Year's and spent the rest of the break with Rory, Lorelai, Luke, and Ricky), and her son. She was present in every moment, her story taking a back seat as she had, essentially completed it.

Having finished the story she also let go of, for those brief weeks, her worry about Logan and what would happen. The New York court system was fairly busy, and she wouldn't have to face her issues for at least another month. She'd already contacted Paris, her best friend and one of the best lawyers in New York city. It had been a little awkward, admitting that she'd been lying to Paris for so many years, but the other woman became so instantly focused on the task at hand that she didn't seem upset by Rory's transgression. So that was now essentially handled and out of Rory's hands.

She'd finally found herself enjoying the time. Even dinners at Emily's and Richard's, with the whole crew (April included) had been pleasant enough. It seemed that just having Lorelai occasionally ask her mother's opinion in the planning of the wedding was enough to keep Emily happy, so aside from her usual Emily judgements, the dinners hadn't gone off the rails as they had been known to do on occasion.

But, before she was ready for it, the break ended. Rory could, essentially, continue to work from Stars Hallow. As long as she sent Miranda drafts of her work, her boss didn't care if she was at the office or not. It was probably because Miranda liked to think that Rory didn't exist and it was easier to do that if the brunette wasn't sitting feet away, but Rory chose not to look that gift horse in the mouth. Instead, she'd gladly taken the three weeks in Stars Hallow without having to deal with her boss looking over her shoulder and breathing down her neck.

Her job wasn't what was drawing her back to the city. Even if she had a few more interviews she wanted to conduct there, she could still stay safely ensconced in her mother's house. What couldn't happen was Ricky attending school. Rory had already taken him out for a week, she couldn't really justify the extra time off. So, on that cold morning, she and Ricky boarded the train and headed back to the city, and back to reality. At least, Rory had 90% of her story completed. That mountain had been surmounted. Now, it was just a matter of surmounting the possibility of losing her son.

January passed fairly quickly, surprisingly. Rory immersed herself in her old routine. It was similar to the comfort-blanket-like feeling that being in Stars Hallow provided. Rory could pretend that she wasn't being sued for custody and that life was the same as it had been before Christmas. She got up in the morning, woke up Ricky, got the both of them ready for the day, and then headed off to work. There, she worked on finalising her story, tying up loose ends and making sure that her assertions were verifiable. Then she returned home, made dinner, relaxed, went to bed and did it all again.

The routine and monotony of the whole situation meant that before she knew it, a month had passed, and February was looming large. On the Saturday before February, Rory was lounging at home, still in her pyjamas, nursing a cup of coffee and buried in a good book when the sound of her buzzer went off. It was mid-morning, verging on early afternoon, but Rory still got up a little sleepily and padded to the buzzer.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Hi, Rory," the voice of Jess Mariano sounded on the other end. Rory was a little surprised. The last person she had expected to show up at her door on a Saturday was Jess Mariano, especially since she hadn't seen him since before Christmas. That in and of itself wasn't all that strange. Jess didn't live in Stars Hallow so she'd just assumed he'd headed home or to his mom's house for Christmas.

She looked down at herself and began to panic. Jess may have been an old friend, but Rory still felt a little embarrassed about opening the door to him in her oversized t-shirt and booty shorts. However, she didn't have enough time to change.

"You there?" Jess asked again. Rory wasn't sure how long she'd been standing their silently panicking, but she quickly composed herself.

"Yeah, sorry. I wasn't expecting you to show up on my doorstep today. Come on up," Rory responded. It would be very rude to not invite Jess in, even though she wasn't presentable in her opinion, so she pressed the button that opened the door. She had maybe thirty seconds to a minute before Jess was at her apartment door, not enough time to do anything. Instead, she went to stand by the door and waited.

The knock sounded on the door only about twenty seconds later. 'He must have been rushing,' Rory thought as she opened the door.

"Who is it mom?" Ricky asked from his room. Rory was a little surprised that he was awake. She'd checked on him twenty minutes ago and he had been asleep in his bed, having a lazy, sleep-in Saturday too.

"It's Jess," Rory responded.

"Hello, Ricky," he called after her words, moving further into her apartment. As he did so, Rory took in his appearance. The last time she'd been with him, she'd essentially made a fool of herself and now she wanted to see if it had changed anything between the two of them. From the slightly tense way Jess was moving, Rory was pretty sure that something had.

"What are you doing here?" Rory asked. She hoped her tone wasn't accusatory but merely curious. She wasn't upset that Jess was here, despite his lack of heads up. She just genuinely wanted to know.

"We'd agreed to plan Lorelai and Luke's bachelor/bachelorette parties together. You know, make sure that nothing too crazy happens. Though knowing Luke, I don't think that's too big a worry." Jess stood slightly awkwardly in the space between Rory's kitchen, dining area, and living room.

"Right!" Rory exclaimed. In the chaos that had been her life, she'd forgotten this plan. Even though she'd spent the last few weeks of her vacation planning with her mom, she hadn't remembered that she'd asked Jess to help her plan the bachelor and bachelorette parties. "Well, let's get planning."

Rory motioned towards the living room, inviting Jess to take a seat on either her grey sofa or the small armchair in the corner. Jess to the armchair and Rory curled up on the couch. She could feel tension between the two of them and hoped that her moment of loss of control from a few weeks earlier wouldn't derail the process or make it harder than it had to be.

"So, do you have any thoughts about what you want it to be? Should we host it in Stars Hallow? Hartford? Here in New York? Should we do a show? Go out for drinks? One of my mom's other bachelorette parties we went to a drag club; that could be fun." Rory was aware of the fact that she was rambling, but the tension was causing her to lose control of her words. She just wanted to fill the silence and have Jess potentially acknowledge one of her ideas as a good one. Maybe if she could come up with a fun party idea, he would forget about her crying all over him.

"I don't think Luke would enjoy a drag club. Doesn't seem like his cup of tea. A few beers and some good food seems more his style." Jess responded. He wouldn't meet her eyes, instead gazing around her apartment at the items of clutter Rory had chosen to display or had just been too lazy to clean up. With every second, Rory felt more and more self-conscious.

"Well, I was just saying what we've done in the past. When Lane and Zack got married, we just ended up playing games at home. That sounds more like Luke's style," Rory responded. She sounded a little more defensive than she intended, but she hated feeling like she was out of control.

"Whatever," Jess responded. Only moments before he'd been criticizing her suggestion and now, he was acting like he didn't give a rat's ass. Rory groaned in absolute frustration.

"What is got into you? You came here, to my house, to help plan this thing and you've not offered one helpful suggestion? Are you mad at me? Or embarrassed? If anything, I should be the one that is embarrassed. I'm the one that ugly cried on you. So, I'm sorry if that caused you some discomfort but you need to get over it!" Rory knew that she was yelling. She was a little worried that Ricky would hear it and come out to see what was going on, but she couldn't really contain her frustration. It had been a really tough couple of months.

Jess just sat in his chair, blinking in surprise at Rory's reaction. Then he spoke. "You think I'm embarrassed about you crying? I don't care. It was obvious that you were going through a tough time and sometimes you need to let it out. I am upset that you had a son with that asshole, fully eradicated him from your life, and then proceeded to allow him back into your life! I have to say I'm not at all surprised by what he's done. Logan Huntzberger is not a good person Rory. His whole life is about what is best for him. I thought you knew that!" Jess, who had started off calm, by the end of his speech was yelling at a similar volume as Rory. Now it was time for Rory to blink at Jess in surprise.

She hadn't realised that he still had such strong opinions about Logan. He'd said as much when she'd quit Yale; he'd blamed Logan for pulling her off her course and allowing her to squander her time without trying to convince her to go back. It was surprising that he still felt as strongly. Logan hadn't been in her life for ten years and neither, really had Jess. And yet, the fact that she had dated him for a few weeks and then had it blow up horribly in her face had made Jess this angry?

"I – I didn't know you felt that way," Rory spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. The smallness of her voice seemed to calm Jess down. He sat back in his chair and buried his head in his hands.

"I just hate to see you in that much pain, especially at the hands of someone who is so not good enough for you," Jess responded. He looked up at Rory, looked her in the eye. As he did, Rory was overcome with a feeling. She wasn't sure that it was correct, but it was so strong that she didn't believe she'd just made it up.

'Does Jess still have feelings for me?'