***The YouTube video I used for reference on scarification is called "Scarification | National Geographic" I'll put a link on my tumblr along with the link to this chapter if anyone wants to see it. (I thought it was interesting, but disclaimer for blood if you look it up because they show part of the cutting in the video).***

I watched Kek disappear. A moment later I heard the shower running, but only for two minutes. Long enough to rinse off and nothing more. He appeared again in clean sweat pants and went straight into the kitchen. I opened my mouth to shout out and ask what he was doing, but decided to give him another minute. He appeared again with a shaker, assumably filled with protein powder and water.

"Sorry, my schedule is off."

"You can actually eat first." I tried to put stress on the words to show him that I was concerned. "Or take a bath. Kek, we can reschedule-"

"My stomach has been in knots all day long." Kek groaned, tilting his head back and chugging as much of the drink as he could "Rescheduling is the worst thing we could do."

The other three cats rushed into the living room, circling his feet and meowing.

"You dumbasses, it's creatine. It doesn't even sound like tuna, why are you begging?"

The orange kitten jumped onto Kek's pant leg and started climbing.

"Asshole! I swear to Bast, why are you like this?"

With his kitten still clinging to his pant leg, he finished the drink and then went back into the kitchen. I heard the can opener and so did Ducati- he leapt from my lap and rushed into the kitchen after everyone else.

"Traitor!" I shouted at the cat.

I still had the remote control in my hands, and having nothing better to do to sooth my nerves, I started tracing my fingers around it. Kek came back one last time, this time he sat on the sofa with a person's space between us.

"They love the stuff in a can. Ryou said it's bad to feed them too much of it, so they only get it every other day."

"Oh? Are you the reason they're spoiled?"

"If you don't like how I raise them, then come and take care of them yourself." Kek stuck out his tongue, his tone had been playful and not bitter, so I laughed.

Then our mirth dropped like a stone into a dark well. I could almost feel the cold and dark surround us. Had the Rod been between us I would have sworn it was Shadow Magic, but it was worse than that. It was memory. I was remembering the day I created him, before, when I was in my chamber waiting for them to take me away to the table where they performed the initiation.

"I'm sorry!" I fell toward him, grabbing him and clinging to him as if he were that frightened, about-to-be-broken version of me pulled straight from my memories.

The tears came quicker and harder than I could have ever imagined. From both of us. I knew we'd end like this. I didn't think we'd start like this.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

I kept saying it, like saying it could change something. If only it could, but the past was a scar carved into our souls. I still repeated the words, even more, even more, so useless, but it was all I could say.

"It's not your fault!" Kek dug his finger into my hair, pressing our foreheads together.

"I wasn't strong enough-"

"That's not your fault!"

"I shouldn't have gone outside that day!"

"Children belong outside!"

"Not me!"

"Yes you!"

"It was forbidden and I did it anyway! It's all my fault! Everything! I couldn't- I should have- It's been my responsibility from the beginning!"

"No!" Kek pressed me into his chest, arms locked around my head as if to protect me from my own thoughts. His voice was wrecked from the sobs, but he calmed down enough to speak. "No. Malik. No. None of it was you. None of it was your fault. None of it. None! Not even the first time! She didn't die because of you!"

I hadn't been prepared for this. We were suppose to be talking about father- not mother!

"Don't-" My voice cracked like a stone tablet being broken in half.

"Marik! You need to hear it! Hear it said out loud!"

"No!" I pulled away, covering my ears.

He laced his fingers with mine, tucking our hands between our chests so I couldn't block him out and leaning close to speak into my ear.

"Marik, she needed a hospital. You didn't kill her. I didn't kill her… we didn't kill her. She should have been in a hospital with doctors."

I started crying again, but they were soft, relieved tears. I mean… I knew. I already knew what he was saying, but no one ever said it out loud before. No one ever made it real like that. Kek pulled me into his lap, dragging his fingers through my hair.

"It's not your fault that your mother died. That was not the first time you killed someone. It's not your fault that you made me. You were bound, and gagged, and there was a knife pressed against your skin. None of that was your will. It was forced on you- you didn't chose it. It's not your fault that I killed your father- that we killed him- because he was going to hurt you again and we had a right to be outside. That was all forced on you!" He pulled his fingers through my hair again.

"The gods didn't give you hair like a daffodil to keep you underground. Flowers are meant to bloom, and no one ever ever has the right to hurt a child. Stop blaming yourself. You were a child. Just a little child. After Battle City you took on the guilt for everything, but dammit, your back carries enough without the guilt over the death of the man who hurt you."

The room went still except for the sound of our tears. We stayed clutched together, and it wasn't until his hands slipped beneath my shirt and started rubbing slow, careful circles into my back that I realized how much my scars were burning, like my memories were threatening to tear them open so all the pain could bleed out. But Kek was already soothing the worst of it. He knew just where to press and how hard for each section.

"I'm not saying there aren't things we should take responsibility for. You killed people in the Ghouls without my influence, and I killed people during Battle City, but for everything that happened underground… Marik, never apologize for any of it- especially for creating me."

My mouth dropped as I realized that he knew where my back hurt the most because he was hurting in all the same places. Our scars were the same. He always acted like they didn't bother him, but each gentle massage was too spot on for him not to have experienced the same pain for himself. My hands dropped down from around his neck and to the lower lettering. At first I could only brush my fingers against the cracked, hard raises on his skin. He wasn't using the proper ointments to keep his scars from drying and splitting, and all the sweaty tank tops probably chafed. No, not only did he understand how much it hurt- his must have hurt even more than mine.

"You're not taking care of your scars at all."

"I don't care." Now there was no playfulness in his words. They were pained and bitter and angry.

I grabbed his face and raised it up to mine. "I care."

He looked sad. I wanted to comfort him somehow, but I didn't know what to do. I wish Bakura was here. He'd somehow know. He was good at doing instead of talking. Ryou would probably know as well, but I only had words.

"I'm sorry I didn't come back for you."

"I know you were helping-"

"And you know I came back because of Bakura." I kissed his forehead. It was my turn to stroke his hair. "I'm sorry I didn't come back for you too. To meet who you've become, but I'm glad you were still here and I got to meet you anyway."

"You jackass…" Kek clenched his teeth. "I never expected you to come back for me."

"But you still wanted me to, didn't you?"

"Yes." He was sobbing hard again. Tears ran down his wrinkled face and his shoulders shook.

"I'm here now." I wrapped my arms around him again and massaged the same areas he was massaging on my back.

He froze and relaxed into my embrace, but after a minute, his body went stiff and he pulled away.

"You're such a fucking bastard, Marik."

Kek lifted me up so he could set me down on my own side of the couch before getting to his feet and pacing across the floor with his arms hugged around his middle. My mouth hung open. I was surprised at the way he'd picked me up and set me down instead of shoving me out of his way.

"I don't understand?"

I understood he was hurting, but not exactly why. I couldn't read him nearly as well as he could read me. I suppose because he was the result of everything I never wanted to deal with, and now that I was trying…

Well, it was hard, wasn't it? To deal with the things we shove away.

"You can't say you're here when you're not. Isn't that the point of this? Dredge everything up and rip everything open so you can go back to Egypt and lick your wounds?"

"Oh." I sank back into the sofa, hugging myself as well. He was right.

With a defeated noise Kek dropped back down to the couch, but at the opposite end and facing away from me. He was hunched over and still hugging himself. The curve of his body gave me the perfect view of the scars that were always chasing me, but always behind me. Now I could see them, just like everyone else could see mine that day I showed the Pharaoh.

But his were different. There were thin lines crossing over some of the original scars. His left shoulder in particular had four lines that had cut entirely through the feathers of his wing. I crawled over to him and my hand was out and hovering over the lines before I jerked back.

"Kek?"

"Yeah, you can touch them," he said.

My fingers dropped at the start of the lines, and I could tell that they were scratches. "What happened here?"

"Ryou."

"What?"

"Don't sound so worried. It happened the first time I told him I loved him." Kek laughed. "They're not Atem's memories anymore. They're mine."

"You told him you loved him and he scratched you?"

Kek laughed. It was good to hear, but it made me blush when I figured out how it happened.

"Oh, nevermind." I cleared my throat, changing the subject. "Did you want to see mine?"

"No. I don't want to see your back," Kek snapped.

"Fine. It was just an offer." I scooted away.

"You still don't get it, do you? Gods, you're so damn dense sometimes." He turned around so he could catch my gaze. "If I look at your scars I'm going to touch them again, and then I'll want to wrap my arms around you, and kiss them, and kiss you, and you'll slap me like you slapped Ryou. So are you going to yell at me for skinning your old man or not? Because I'm tired of feeling like my heart's getting flayed and I just want you out of Domino City." He looked away. "Ryou and I have wounds we need to lick too, y'know."

"That's not fair." I hid my face in my hands.

"I'm not blaming you for how you do or don't feel, but I can't sit here and pretend like it doesn't hurt. I told you-" Kek reached around himself, touching his own scars. "I can deal with these. It's emotions that hurt."

My hands dropped. I swallowed, staring off into nothing. "You know, I've seen other scarring initiations as I've traveled."

I raised up my head, sniffing and scrubbing the salt off of my cheeks with the flat off my hand. I wasn't changing the subject, or trying to talk over Kek's feelings. We were somehow having two conversations at once, and the tracks had switched back to father.

Kek was watching me speak, curious.

"A boy, he was a few years older than we had been. His mother gave him millet porridge and then a shot of alcohol. The blacksmith had made a knife specifically for his scarring ritual. I remember thinking, at least it's the blacksmith and not his father. You know what I remember most about that day?"

"The screams?" Kek asked.

I shook my head. "There were no screams. I remember the leaves."

"Leaves?"

I nodded. "Part of their ceremony. They lay on flat earth beneath a tree on a bed of bright, green leaves. I could tell he was in pain, but he never screamed, and afterward everyone was dancing. I stayed for that part, but that night I went off on my own and cried until I puked."

"I'm sorry," Kek whispered.

"Even now I wonder… would it have been different? Had mine been like that? Outside, outside and not in a tomb, going through it for my ancestors instead of a nameless pharaoh? Those leaves were such a bright green, Kek. You've never seen green that bright in Domino City. And the boy was happy when it was over. Well, the man. The moment he stood up and let the blacksmith put ointment on his stomach, he was fully a man by the customs of his village. He kept saying he wasn't sure if he'd make it through it. Ha, just like me, right? Only he was happy… not broken."

"Marik-"

"It's okay-" I raised a hand to stop Kek. "There's a point to all this. The point is, the older I get, and the more of the world I see…" I felt ribbons of heat unfurl down my cheeks, more tears. I paused a moment to sniff back snot, rubbing my nose. "I don't know anymore, okay? I just… don't want to think father was bad. He was probably broken. Maybe he had his own dark personality, only his never had a chance to become human like you did. I don't know, but- it wasn't right. What he did… it wasn't right. Then, a year later, I saw Rishid on the ground, and I thought he was dead, and father said he was going to punish me… I thought I was going to die. I was going to die and no one would know because I was already buried alive."

Kek's arms were knotted around me again. He wasn't crying like I was, though. He was dead quiet. I wished he'd say something, but he didn't, so I continued.

"So no. I'm not going to yell at you for- for keeping me alive that day. But I'm still sad that it happened!"

My face pressed against his chest, soaking his skin with my tears. He rested his cheek on top of my head.

"It's okay, to be sad. That's what I'm learning. I thought emotions were one or the other type things. Happy or sad. Afraid or angry. But it's not like that at all. They heap up on top of each other all at once. No wonder people go crazy. It's the only sane thing to do."

I couldn't help but laugh at that. It actually made my tears stop. I sat up and dried my face again.

"Sorry, I should probably stop half-crawling into your lap."

"It's not that I mind, it's that-" He rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed. "Well, that's the whole problem. I don't mind. I really love it, actually. That's why it hurts so much when you do it."

"Because I'm leaving?"

"Because you don't love us."

"Honestly, looking back, I'm not even sure I loved Bakura, at least not that first night when I knocked on the door. I thought I did, but I was naive."

"Perhaps, but It sure is easy to fall in love with him after getting to know him. Isn't it?"

"Yes." I smiled, thinking about Bakura. It had been easy once I got to know the real him.

I was exhausted. I couldn't even keep myself sitting at that point. I shifted so I could sling my feet over the couch-arm and lay my head in Kek's lap. My right hand was on my stomach, but I reached up with my left until I found Kek's palm. I laced our fingers together.

"I've said all I've needed to say, but I don't want to leave yet- unless you'd rather I go."

"You could stay for dinner, if you wanted to. Tell Bakura he has to fucking say goodbye this time if he joins us."

"Tonight I'll probably return to my hotel room once Ryou gets back, but I didn't mean right now. I meant in general. I don't want to leave Domino yet. I want to finish our Monster World campaign. I want to get to know you both a little better."

"So you're staying until the game is played out?"

"I still need to talk to Bakura about it. See how he feels, but I'd hate to leave our campaign unfinished."

"If you're here until the game's over, I'm never letting our party get to the final boss."

"Pfff, no cheating. Ryou will make your character explode, remember?"

"Keh, you really should have been here. Bakura threw such a fit." Kek brushed my bangs behind my ear. "Could I? Look at them? I promise I'll only look. Sorry, I was too emotional earlier."

"You can touch them, if you want." I sat up, pulling up my shirt and bunching it up into my lap.

His fingers were gentle against my skin. I could only imagine, if he were to kiss them, that his lips would be gentle as well. He read my back like braille, stopping and lingering at the area where we started to be separate fragments of consciousness.

"Thanks." He dropped his hand back into his lap. "Never really had a chance to look at them before."

"That's how I felt."

"You could see mine again, if you wanted to," he said.

"I will next time I'm over- when I teach Ryou how to cover your back with ointment."

"Marik-"

"Please, just for a month. You don't have to treat them after that if you don't want to, but give it a try?"

"All right." Kek sighed. "I'll try it for a month."

"Good." I went back to laying in his lap. It was terribly comfortable.

"Wake me up if I fall asleep, okay?"

"I'll do no such thing. Fall asleep on my couch, and I'll carry you to bed and let you sleep until morning."

"Is that bed even big enough for four people?" I chuckled, eyes closed but still awake.

"There was always extra room when it was three."