My breath caught in my throat when I realized that Bakura had bought me presents, and that Ryou had done the same for Kek. It was sweet. It was… like the halva; it was rich, and dense, and nostalgic, and sweet. When Ryou handed the tub of candy to me, it was a little overwhelming. The tear that rolled down my cheek was happy, but Ryou thought he'd upset me. I wanted to show him, somehow, that I wasn't, and for someone who had slapped him after being kissed, I sure didn't want to let go after he threw his arms around me. In fact, had he kissed me at that moment instead of when he had… but things were a little different now. At least, I understood what was going on now.
Bakura was stumbling through an apology, and I was about to laugh at him, but then Kek started crying. Ryou and I rushed toward him at the same time, comforting him as best we could.
When I saw Kek cry, all I wanted was for him to stop.
I just. Wanted. Him. To. Stop.
We've cried enough. Both of us. All four of us. I would have done anything in that moment to turn his tears to laughter. I noticed Ryou crying with him, and my heart was breaking.
I reached out and stroked Ryou's hair as if that would somehow help. Meanwhile, I placed a kiss on Kek's shoulder, catching the area that Ryou had scratched over with my lips. I whispered to him in a panic.
It's Okay
It's Okay
It's Okay
It's Okay
The words sounded strange. Something in the back of my thoughts knew that was because I was speaking in our tongue instead of Japanese, but I was too desperate to try and soothe him to sort out languages in my head.
I promise it's okay
I will bandage your heart
There wasn't a translation for what I was trying to say. There were no words in our childhood language that could convey the tangle of emotions I felt in that moment.
He took all that pain for me, back then, and my mind was racing for a way to be able to do the same for him now. He'd told me, over and over, that emotional pain hurt him more than the scars, and I did not want him to hurt like that. But what could I do? I didn't know what would fix it. I just... needed him to stop crying. He fucking deserved to be happier than this.
There was an urge in my throat, like a tickle, to lean forward and kiss his scars again, but I feared that I wasn't going to stop until his tears were dry.
Bakura beat me to it, kissing the tears off of Kek's cheeks. I watched Kek relax, and his lips part, and Bakura leaning in to brush their mouths together. My own mouth dropped as an excited spark lit up in my belly. My fingers grazed my own lips, and it wasn't until I felt the snag of Ryou's hair as I pulled away that I realized I'd kept my fingers twisted up with his strands the entire time.
Bakura noticed me watching and he jerked away, choking back sobs, and I was as frantic to stop his tears as I had been to stop Kek's.
"Bakura." I crawled off the couch and to where he sat.
To hell with poise or grace, I fumbled across the carpet like a drunk until my arms were locked around his torso.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry-"
"Shhh. Shhhh." Now I was stroking his hair. It was sleek and smooth, delightful to touch. Part of my brain couldn't help but compare it to the wispy dandelion fluff texture of Ryou's hair, only Bakura's was a little heavier between my fingers. "Bakura, don't cry."
"I didn't mean to. I couldn't help it. I miss them. I'm with you. I am, but-"
Bakura had been gentle, when he kissed Kek. He feathered their lips together. I could not imagine angels kissing more softly.
I was not gentle, when I kissed Bakura. I slammed our lips together, pushed hard, sucked against his bottom lip. My fingers tightened into his hair, yanking instead of petting.
I needed him to stop crying. I needed us all to stop crying.
I didn't give a fuck about who kissed who, or who was with who. I just wanted everyone's tears to go away.
I…
I wanted...
We broke apart, chests heaving for air. Bakura panted with his mouth wide open. He lips were thick and dark from arousal and the friction of our kisses. I wished they weren't. I wished his eyes weren't burning as he gave me a questioning look. I wished his chest wasn't rising so rapidly as he caught his breath. It made me want him. Right then and there. He would have looked fetching spread out on the floor with those bright fucking eyes of his locked on me and those dark fucking lips of his screaming out joy instead of sobs.
He still wanted some kind of answer. I could tell by the expression on his face. I shrugged. It must have been how Ryou often felt, having so much to express, but tripping over every word and needing to use action instead. I pulled a deep, stabilizing breath into my lungs.
"Don't apologize, not to me. It was Kek you were apologizing to."
"Yeah, but-"
"There's no need to apologize," I repeated.
"Maybe I should make some tea so we can all calm down. It's been a long day for everyone." Ryou rushed off to the kitchen again.
"Sure the fuck has." Kek dropped on the couch on his back, blinking up at the ceiling. He turned to us with a little smirk although his eyes were red-rimmed and bright burning sulfur. "Is it too late to reverse my decision to be human?"
"'Fraid so." Bakura shot at him.
They exchanged a smile for a wonderful moment, but it faded from their faces as they looked away from each other. Kek sat up, holding his stomach.
"I don't feel good. I'm going to lay down." Kek stood up and walked toward the hallway. He stopped beside us but looked at neither of us. "Guess… I'll see you guys around."
"Yeah… later." Bakura looked the other way.
"Do you need something?" I stood up. "Soup? Medicine? Ryou's making tea, want me to bring you a cup when it's done?"
Kek shook his head and continued walking down the hallway.
"Maybe we should go back to the hotel and leave them alone," Bakura suggested.
"You're probably right, but…" I bit my bottom lip. Kek was probably crying again. Ryou was probably crying in the kitchen. I didn't want to leave on such bad terms. "Go make sure Kek's okay, I'll go check on Ryou, and then we'll let them be."
"Are you sure?" Bakura held my shoulder and cupped my cheek. "How are you feeling?"
How was I feeling? Awful, I supposed. I wanted to scoop everyone up in a pile until everyone stopped crying. It was more complicated than that, however, because I was aware that the exact thing I wanted to do would just make Ryou and Kek more sad. And as much as part of me wanted to run to each of them, kiss them like Bakura had kissed Kek, and see what happened, I really didn't trust myself enough to move on impulse. I needed to wait until I'd had some time for everything that had happened today to simmer in my mind then decide how I felt about… both of them.
"I'm worried about everyone," I murmured to Bakura trying to be honest as I possibly could without joining in on the tear fest again.
"Okay, check on Ryou, and I'll say goodbye to Kek one more time."
With a quick kiss we parted. I entered the kitchen and sighed when Ryou spun away from me. He pressed his face against a cupboard door to hide his tears.
"I thought that's why you were in here."
"Tea will be just a moment, Marik." Ryou sniffed as he grabbed the kettle.
"Let me." I held his upper arm and stole the kettle from his hand.
"Please, no. You're a guest. It's my job to make the tea for you."
"Don't say I'm a guest like that. You wouldn't say that to Jounouchi and Honda, would you?"
"Like they could manage boiling water." Ryou laughed, wiping at his face as I set the kettle on the burner. "Jonouchi tried to cook a candy bar once."
"I'm not even going to ask." I grinned and shook my head.
I took a step closer, watching Ryou's reaction. He stayed neutral, neither flinching back nor leaning forward. I took a gamble, betting that he'd prefer me closer. I brushed a stray lock out of his face and cupped his cheek, resting my forehead against the top of his head.
"I know everything's a mess right now, but it's going to be okay."
"I know. I know," Ryou repeat, nodding his head.
I backed up a bit because of Ryou's head gesture. At least he'd stopped crying, but the sadness in his eyes still ripped at my chest.
"We'll work something out," I said.
"Sure." Ryou smiled.
"Nnn-hmm. No fake smiles. I hate them." I brushed his bottom lip with the pad of my thumb. The second I did it, Ryou's eyes went wide and I jerked my hand away, hugging myself instead. "Sorry, that must have seemed like a mixed signal."
"Yes. Very much so."
I like that he didn't deny it or make excuses for me. I stared up at Ryou's kitchen ceiling, trying to gather my thoughts.
"More like testing the waters."
"What do you mean, Marik?" Ryou asked.
"Look, everything's fuzzy in my head right now. Too much has happened today. I can't really think, or focus when I'm like this. I need to go back to the hotel and sort everything out, but…" I held both his hand, my thumbs grazing Ryou's knuckles. "Could I text you in a few days? If I have any questions, or-or If I just want to say hi, or-"
"Of course Marik. I'd like that. I think if we talk more, it'll be easier for Bakura to feel like he can talk to us without hurting you somehow."
"I keep trying to tell him it's okay, but he always gives an excuse to avoid the conversation."
"I can't throw stones. Conversations are difficult." The laugh that escaped Ryou was fragile, but preferable to his earlier weeping.
I realized, as I watched the curves of his cheekbones as he smiled, that I wanted to kiss him.
And I hated myself for it.
I didn't have the right. Not after slapping him for doing the same thing to me.
Why couldn't I have figured this out earlier? Or was I chasing shadows? Lost in the moment because everyone was emotional? Fuck!
I didn't know what I wanted anymore.
The kettle whistled. I spun and fixed two cups of tea. "Kek is lying down in your room. I'm going to take him a cup and then Bakura and I are going to head out."
"All right." Ryou followed me with his own cup in hand. "Thank you for the tea."
"Thanks for the Halva. I'm surprised you found some in Domino City."
"It's probably not the best. I should try making it. Maybe when Kek has a cheat day so he could have some as well."
"Bakura hid some chocolates for you in the living room. Kek knows where they are."
"What? He did? I was with him the entire time. How did he sneak those past me?"
"Well, he is the Thief King." I smiled.
We walked into the bedroom. Bakura and Kek were on their sides, holding each other's faces and speaking in low voices. They'd both used the term Resurrection Club and watching them brought the phrase to mind. They looked like two people that had been to the edge of existence and back together.
And it was beautiful to watch. The smile on their faces made me smile, as if their happiness were contagious.
"Ryou are you okay?" Bakura asked, sitting up when he noticed us watching them.
"Yes. Are you two okay?"
"I'm fine." Kek snorted.
"Would you like a cup of tea?" I held it out to him.
Kek didn't say anything, but he sat up and took the cup.
"Thanks," he muttered after a moment passed.
"Hey, Bakura, how did you even get all those bags from the mall to the apartment anyway?" I asked.
"He rented a car," Ryou answered.
"Good. Mind giving me a ride home?" I winked at him, trying to be flirty, but honestly my thoughts were too rampant and distant to be driving.
"Yeah, I'll go load everything up."
He kissed Kek's forehead, whispering a goodbye before standing to his feet and doing the same for Ryou. It was the first time something akin to jealousy crept up in my chest, but not because I was upset at the chaste kisses to their foreheads, but because I couldn't give them the same sort of goodbye. Instead I stroked Kek's hair for a second and placed my motorcycle keys into his palms.
"What's this?" Kek asked.
"Well, everyone else gave you something. That's my present to you."
"Why?"
"Because I wanted you to have it. I even bought it in white."
His mouth was slack. I didn't wait for a thank you. I could tell he was struggling to process the information still. I turned to Ryou, brushing his hair out of his face again.
"I'll keep an eye out for something to get for you."
"Thank you, but that isn't necessary."
"I know, but I'd still like to."
Ryou reached out, touching my earring for a second and then dropping his hand. "A few videos of Bakura being goofy would be the best present you could give me."
"All right."
I leaned in without thinking. Ryou mirrored me. I went so far as to tilt my head before sucking in a sharp breath and stepping back.
"I'll text you in a day or two. See you guys later." I rushed out of the room and to the living room where Bakura grabbed the last of my bags.
"Ready?" he asked.
I nodded and followed him down to the car. I leaned back in the seat, closed my eyes, and rubbed my temples and Bakura talked and drove.
"That didn't go as planned. Not that anything ever does."
"Tell me about it."
"Are you okay?"
"Headache. Too much crying. I'm probably dehydrated. I'll drink some water at the hotel."
"Guess we both should." Bakura sighed. "Look-"
"Do not apologize to me again."
"You don't have to be cool about this, Marik. I'd rather you yell at me for being a rude prick than to try and act laissez-faire about it."
"You two were smiling at each other while you laid on the bed, and it was like I could feel exactly how happy you were."
"I can't help it. That's why I've been avoiding them."
"I wasn't accusing you of being happy with someone else; I'm telling you that I was happy with you. So stop avoiding them. You being skittish is just making everything more confusing for me." I grit my teeth, frustrated. "Does that even make sense? When you're beside them and happy, it makes me happy."
"It makes sense." Bakura exhaled, keeping his eyes on the road. "That's how I feel when I see Ryou and Kek laughing together."
"I know you miss them," I said.
"Of course I miss them."
"We can stay in Domino for longer."
"That'll only delay the inevitable, and worse, make my leaving loom over every moment we have together."
I dropped my head, staring into my lap. He was right. Staying was cruel, but I didn't want to leave until I knew how I really felt and what I really wanted. I was afraid to rush into things, but I was more afraid of walking away because that felt like the wrong choice, like something I'd regret for the rest of my life.
"Remember at the pier? When we talked before our date? You were telling me about the first time you kissed Ryou, and explaining that it was your way of giving him permission."
"Yeah."
"That's what Ryou was trying to do for me, wasn't it? He wasn't trying to manipulate me, he was trying to give me permission."
Bakura nodded, parking the car and fidgeting with the keys.
"I wished I'd have known. At the very least, I wouldn't have slapped him and gotten so upset."
"He said he talked to you today."
"He did."
"Marik, what do you want to do?"
"Go slow? Try to figure out how I really feel about things."
I had my eyes closed as I said the words, so Bakura's warm fingers twining with mine came as a pleasant surprise. I looked up at him. The look in his eyes was affectionate, and- despite knowing that Bakura was actually a sappy bastard- it was still a bit of a shock to see. I mirrored his smile.
"Let's go to our room and get some water."
I nodded and helped him carry all my things to our room. Sitting on the bed with a bottle of water, I started to actually go through the packages.
"I'm a little horrified," I said as I opened up boxes and bags with boots and scarfs, tight, revealing shirts and a gorgeous fur coat.
"Why?" Bakura gave me a concerned look.
"You actually have good fashion sense. Since when?"
"Hey, go through Ryou's wardrobe and see what you end up wearing."
"Well maybe you should have done less Pharaoh-destroying and more clothes-shopping when Ryou had the Ring."
"Should'a, could'a, would'a. Actually, shopping with Ryou was fun. I went out with Kek several times because I got along with his friends, but I missed out on that with Ryou because I was avoiding Atem." Bakura pursued his lips. "I kinda regret that now."
"Because you didn't get to beat Atem in a game of Uno?" I smirked.
We both looked at each other and started laughing. I wrapped Bakura in the coat and pulled him to me. His eyes lost some of their focus and half-lidded. The fur collar framed his silvery-white hair, and he looked gorgeous. I plucked a kiss from his lips, and once I'd had one, I wanted more, so I closed my eyes and felt out his lips with my own. We sat on the bed, surrounded by pretty things that he'd bought to cheer me up, and my heart felt like it was swelling as I massaged my lips against his.
"Marik," Bakura gasped, lips plump and friction dark again, like earlier.
"It's soft." I ran the fur against his scarred cheek. Then I started unbuttoning his shirt. I wanted to rub the fur against his scarred chest.
"It's fake." He giggled. "I wanted to tell you how I got you a faux fox fur… um, coat… ah."
His focus dissipated as I kissed down his chest one button's worth of space at a time. He said "fox-fox" instead of faux fox, but my tongue lapping against his nipple ruined his attempt to be funny.
"Mmmm, yes, very clever, Bakura," I teased in a low, seductive voice.
I slipped his shirt away from his chest and pulled the fur closer around him. I guided Bakura down to his back, having to pull the boots from beneath him before he could relax into the fur. Kissing down his chest and stomach, I paused for a moment to unfasten his belt.
"You said you wanted to go slow." Bakura half sat up.
I laughed at how cute Bakura was when he was concerned. I also shoved him back into the mattress, locking my gaze onto his.
"With the other two, so I can figure out how I honestly feel, but Bakura-" I smiled as I combed my fingers through his hair, more soft and luxurious than the faux fur surrounding him. "I already know how I feel about you. I'd tell you, but I'm sick of talking. I've been talking all day long and I'm exhausted with it, so tonight…" I pulled his belt away, popping the button of his pants loose with my thumb and forefinger. "Let me do things your way. Let me show you how I feel instead of saying it."
Then I was attacking him like a storm. One tug had his pants down to his knees, another to his ankles, and a final had them on the floor. Bakura helped kick out of each leg, his heels knocking a silk top and a pair of gold-framed sunglasses to the floor with his pants. I shoved a few more things down to give us room as I hoisted my top up over my shoulders. The second my pants lay crumpled on top of everything else, I slipped between Bakura's legs. His thighs were warm, and supple, and I scooped my body up so our skin could slide against each other. I bent down to kiss him and he grabbed our cocks in his hand, rubbing them together and making me moan. I kept rocking into him, biting the side of his neck with each thrust. Each time, Bakura cried out. I glanced up toward the nightstand where we kept the lube, but I couldn't stop. It felt too good just as we were, so I continued to buck into Bakura's hand and against his cock until my thrusts were too sloppy for me to kiss him, and I moaned into his hair as we moved.
I remembered the fur coat, and grabbed the sleeve, teasing it up and down Bakura's stomach and chest, bringing it up to his collarbone and caressing his cheek. Bakura arched as it brushed against his stomach, and tilted his head to nuzzle my wrist when I was caressing his cheek. His response was so arousing, that I slowed down my hips, dragging the pleasure out so I could explore other parts of his body with the fur.
I brought our lips back together, gliding the fur up and down Bakura's side. He bucked up, impatient. My smile broke our kisses and I moved down his chest with my lips. Bakura squirmed, missing the pressure of my cock against his, but I kept shifting down until my tongue swirled along the hood of his tip and Bakura screamed. I flicked my tongue along his slit and then looked up at him.
"Put it on."
"Huh?"
"The coat. I like how you look in it."
Bakura looked like he was too lost to understand my words, but he slipped his arms into the coat as I dropped down to the floor. I had to shove our stuff out of the way again, but then I pulled Bakura closer.
"Sit on the edge."
"Holy shit," Bakura muttered, as he gripped the edge of the mattress and framed me with his thick, brown thighs.
He really did look good in nothing but fur, chest and ab muscles peeking out from the center. One end slipped down, exposing the curve of his collarbone and the slope of shoulder. I savored the image for another moment, committing it to memory and then burying his cock with my mouth.
"Oh… fuck!" Bakura flung his head back, using his grip as leverage so he could buck deeper.
I allowed my mouth to water over his skin as I bobbed up and down. I held his base with one hand, and rested my other hand on top of his knuckles, squeezing his fingers as I sped up.
"Ah! Marik! Ah! Marik! Ah! Ahhhhhh!"
Bakura was shaking. He cock grew fat. He sang out vowels, free hand gripping my hair and using it like reigns. Then he was shooting come into the back of my throat, and I waited until he finished before swallowing. Pulling back, I licked my lips and stared at him. His hair was mussed, his mouth was slack as he panted, his breath shifted the fine hairs of fur near his collar.
"Lean over the edge of the bed," I ordered as I jumped up to finally fetch the lube.
By the time I was slick and ready, I turned around and saw Bakura with his hands and knees on the bed and his ass in the air. He still wore the coat, and it draped across his back and down his sides. I threaded the fingers of my left hand through the fur for a moment before pushing it up higher on his back so I wouldn't soil it. Then, with my slick right fingers, I pushed into him. I stretched Bakura until he was hitching back into my fingers, and then I slid my entire cock inside him instead. Bakura grunted, fists curling into the plastic shopping bags still on the bed. I pulled back and glided back in, sighing at how good Bakura felt squeezing around my cock.
"Bakura, you're so fucking hot," I whispered the compliment, my nails digging into his hips so I could push in and out a little faster.
Bakura's whimpers were sweet. He'd already came, but the way he moaned, and arched his back, and squeezed me with eager clenches of his ass you wouldn't have guessed it. I watched him until the last second, until the friction around my cock was too tight, and too glorious to hold back any longer. Slamming my eyes shut, I hammered into Bakura's body, yes, yes, yes, and- ahhhhhhh gods!
I think I screamed the last part out loud, but I was drowning in my own euphoria, so I didn't know the difference between my shouts and my thoughts. I doubled over Bakura, waiting for my heartbeat to slow back to normal.
"Oh dammit! My boots!" Bakura punched the mattress.
"What?" I lifted up my head, confused.
"This would have been even hotter with my boots." Bakura grabbed one of the unopened bags and pulled out a box, revealing a pair of red leather boots.
I started laughing.
"Don't you laugh like you wouldn't have enjoyed it." Bakura slipped on the boots, they went up mid-thigh and had a nice heel on them.
My laughter caught in my throat as I stared at Bakura standing there in thigh-highs and my coat.
"Exactly." Bakura's smirk was smug. He dropped the coat over a chair to avoid soiling it and marched toward the bathroom. He stopped in the door from, tossing a coy look over his shoulder. "Well? Hurry up. I need help unzipping these before I get into the shower."
I realized I was holding my breath as I openly stared at him. I scraped my teeth against my bottom lip, grinning, and then chased Bakura into the bathroom.