A Little Unsteady

Chapter 6

"Loki." A voice plunged through the darkness surrounding Loki's consciousness. Loki could feel himself wanting to turn away from the voice and plaster his face deep within the fluffiness of his pillows.

"Loki." The voice repeated his name and Loki could tell this was a losing battle of wills. He grumbled in response, hand flailing outwards to shoo away the disembodied voice.

"I am not going anywhere," the voice amended, which Loki knew meant this was Thor talking.

"What do you want?" Loki said into the pillow which came out like 'whatchamen want.'

"It's late, nearly past noon." Thor said this in a way that insinuated it was obvious.

"So?" Loki failed to see the importance of this news.

"So, you need to get up."

"Why?" Loki felt the will inside of him to be difficult surge to life; he couldn't help but smile into the vanilla scented fabric at Thor's loud sigh.

"Because it's late."

"So?"

"Loki," Thor's voice hardened. "We need to talk."

Loki huffed loudly as though the task was beneath him-and for all intents and purposes it was-and hunched himself onto his elbows, palms resting into the bedspread as he hurled himself to an upright position.

Hair disheveled and eyes still tired, Loki flashed a beaming smile towards Thor.

"You rang?"

Thor lifted the medium-sized device of the Holter monitor with its long wires up in his hand with a questioning look reflected in his cerulean eyes.

"What is this?"

Loki blinked. "It's the-"

"No, Loki." Loki shuddered reflexively at the phrase. "I know what it is. Why is it here," he jiggled the device lightly, "and not on you?"

Loki's eyes narrowed and he huffed again. "I don't need it," he muttered quietly.

"What?" Thor's eyes shined with confusion.

Loki wasn't sure if he hadn't truly heard him or if he was goading him.

"I-" Loki straightened his slumped shoulders. "-do not require it."

Thor looked to him sadly.

"Oh, Loki, why do you do this to yourself?"

Loki frowned. "Do what exactly?"

Thor plopped the monitor onto the bed gracefully then came around the side to sit close to his younger sibling. Loki fidgeted slightly, it had been a long time since the two had sat close together, besides the incident in the medical bay, and Loki couldn't quite suppress the anxiety that came up with bad memories as his knees knocked with Thor's. Thor was so close Loki could feel the heat of him radiate outwards and almost slap Loki in the face. He drifted his eyes downcast until Thor reached out and tilted up his chin so that they were looking into each other's eyes.

"You do not have to battle this alone, brother."

Loki whimpered softly, eyes shifting again out of embarrassment and shame. "I'm used to it."

He wasn't and Thor seemed to know that.

"That doesn't make it right." Thor's fingers trailed across Loki's cheek. "Brother, what is wrong?"

Tears sprang to Loki's eyes like water from a fountain.

"I do not know," Loki replied honestly. "I shouldn't even live."

Thor tried blinking away his own tears.

"Loki, you are my brother and you always will be. But you have to break this cycle of doom and gloom. You do not have to suffer alone, Loki. I am here for you, always. You need only to reach out for support and take care of yourself; that is all I am asking."

Sadly, Thor realized that Loki didn't understand.

"But you weren't there." Loki uttered in a hollow tone.

"When?"

"No one was there…."

"Loki?"

"I called for you…I called for mother and I called for father but none of you came. I was alone. I will always be alone." He paused. "I should be dead."

Thor bristled at Loki's cold, solemn words.

"Loki, I only wish to understand. Why do you feel this need to deny the help being offered to you?"

"I don't deserve it. I am nothing, no one…I was meant to be ruled." This latter phrase was merely whispered and the vacant look in his eyes returned.

Loki recalled his vision tunneling, his ears chopping sound like helicarrier's wings swung-swooped the air and he felt the heat of Thor nuzzle into him like a hug before darkness erupted throughout his skull and memories hanged from his shoulders like babes and then, there was nothing.

~#~

Before Loki came to, the memories of the Chitauri and Thanos torture played like songs on a jukebox turned to low in the back of his skull. He could identify his brain playing memories of their rasped threats, their fists slamming into his bones until they cracked and their swords slicing into his skin unceremoniously. Loki could feel their speech halting and skipping on repeat as they collided into his eardrums yet he couldn't quite decipher all of their specifics. There were common themes however: how weak he was, how worthless, how ordinary and how he was alone and no one cared enough about him to even try and save him. It was these words that hurt the most because Loki was the only one to hear them with no one around him to tell him that they were not true. What made torture the epitome of terrible, he found, was less the physical pain and more the words of venom that leaked into his brain until they became truth. Because once Loki spun these lies into truths he would play them back in his own mind over and over, so much so that he begun to believe in them. And once belief came, freedom and peace were lost and Loki had a mission to attend to in the form of ruling Midgard. Because only when one knows pain can one be expected to do everything they can to be the one wielding it rather than being the victim of it.

All of this was to say that Loki was majorly fucked up. He hated how weak that made him, having to rely on Thor and the Avengers to help him.

Thor was right-he didn't want help. He didn't want to be let down again. Sometimes the worst part about feeling hope was the inevitable let down that would eventually come. Loki didn't trust others well, he'd been taught that at an early age and he had spent centuries believing it to be fact not fiction.

To completely overthrow everything he had learned in life was difficult at best and appallingly overwhelming at worst.

How could Loki move forward when he was so encapsulated by the past? Everything that had happened to him could be explained away by the fact that he was unworthy, unloved, often abandoned and completely and utterly worthless. To have the gall to expect anything else was ludicrous and entirely frightening. Because if Loki was loved, was worthy, was even flawed-then he would have no answer, no reason to have been tortured, raped and nearly brought to death over and over again.

Because at least being the problem meant there was a reason-but if he was not the problem than his torture could not be explained away. And having no answer felt far more uncomfortable and unwelcome than Loki cared to admit. It was easier to believe in the perpetual lies, to push others away, so Loki could lick his wounds in peace like a kicked puppy.

He felt it was for the best. If Loki could find some solace in his pain then maybe it meant not everything was lost.

But Loki's boat was starting to lose its buoyancy, because of what the super soldier told him the night before, the words that Thor used, the notion that Barton didn't try to kill him when he had his last episode, the fact that Bruce offered him hope and support…These external actions didn't add up to Loki. They were anomalies. They had to be lies well-constructed and acts well played. Because the opposite could hardly be true; Loki couldn't possibly matter.

This thought he clung to. He had to. What other option did he have?

So Loki bit his lip and decided not to swallow his pride. If he played his cards right he could probably get out of this situation. It wasn't the best of his plans but it was a starting point.

And Loki needed that: a place to start.

~#~

"Is he all right?"

It was Thor's voice that awakened Loki again that day. He couldn't help but crack one eyelid open to scan the white room before finding his culprit.

Thor stood nervously wracking his hands.

He couldn't possibly be worried about me, could he?

Before Thor's worried blue eyes could find his, Loki closed his eyes and pretended to still be unconscious. Sometimes you need to know which battles to fight and which to let go of. This moment was mission: find out more about what's going on before Loki opens his mouth.

It was unfortunate that his nose suddenly itched and he was unable to move to scratch it without running the risk of blowing his cover.

"His vitals appear normal for the situation that occurred. What did you say happened again?"

Loki imagined Thor shifting from foot to foot.

"I entered his quarters and found him still in bed with the device lying on the nightstand."

"He did take a shower early this morning when he met me for a…late night snack." That was the super soldier.

"So do you think there's a chance that he took it off to bathe and forgot to put it back on after?"

"I suppose it's a possibility…He sounded and looked strange when we spoke, though."

"Strange how?"

Thor's lips pursed. "My brother was adamant to the idea that he was alone in this and that he did not matter... He, I'm afraid, has felt this way before in our childhood but I was too foolish to notice and too ignorant to know what to do about it. He has never voiced these fabrications so much until now, however." Loki could feel Thor staring at him and he couldn't dampen the feeling of his skin crawling.

"He did talk this morning about feeling unworthy and…" The Captain paused, unsure how to proceed. "He spoke about his time falling from a Bifrost, whatever that is, and how he felt he could never measure up to you, Thor."

Thor nodded, mutely. "My brother mumbled about being ruled, which I found odd."

Steve made a noise of agreement.

"He was tortured." The words came from Stark, which Loki couldn't help but feel surprised about. He measured his breaths evenly, so as not to arouse suspicion. "He probably feels worthless and it sounds like it's not the first time he's felt these feelings. He's probably grasping at straws to understand why he was tortured. If those creatures gave him no reason he probably feels that he, himself, is to blame. It's the only irrationally logical conclusion. It's how I would have felt too if I had been tortured by them." Stark discreetly leaves out the implication of his own torture by mere mortals, though Loki feels Rogers understands more than he is letting on.

Loki couldn't help but be mildly impressed with Stark's thought patterns. He knew it would have taken Thor half a century to connect the dots. He always did in the past, at least.

With everything laid out on the table so well Loki wondered how they would choose to proceed forwards.

Bruce, it so happened, was the first to break the silence.

"What's our plan of action? Because from where I'm standing we have a noncompliant patient on our hands and a deep sea of issues to muddle through-most of which is going to take time to heal and trust to be built gradually one square at a time."

Stark humphed under his breath, but Loki was surprised when the answer came from Thor.

"Let's ask the source. Brother, I know you are awake. Can you open your eyes?"

Loki took his time just to annoy his not-brother and cracked one eyelid open slowly before he blinked rapidly in the harsh light.

"Too bright," he murmured just because he could.

A form shifted to his right and the overhead light dimmed significantly.

"Thank you," Loki mentioned, eyes glancing over at each Avenger.

"What do you propose we do, brother?" Thor's eyes looked red and it occurred to Loki that he may have been crying about him at some point. A little late but better than never, he thought to himself as he felt a wave of warmth blossom in his chest. In that moment, Loki identified he could share his gratitude by pulling on the string that his brother had provided.

"Give me a week to consider my options," Loki stated simply.

Thor's face exploded into dismay. He made to open his mouth but found Bruce speaking instead.

"If we do and you happen to experience another episode before the week is up, can we trust that you'll go to Thor as soon as you can and we can start the test?"

Loki couldn't help the small smile tug at the corners of his lips at the word 'trust.'

"Yes," he said reluctantly, though he wasn't sure how well he could follow through on this promise.

"Very well, brother. You have one week to think."

Tony secretly hoped they wouldn't regret it.

~#~

"This is a fine sword, indeed, Stark." Thor said boisterously, admiring the silver sheen to the blade and thrusting it back and forth in his hand. "Reminds me of Mjolnir. Quick, light and packing a mighty punch." Thor smiled at the inventor.

The billionaire nodded simply, only half paying attention. They were going on a training session battling benign crash test dummies per Nick Fury's orders. It was something about them needing further teamwork before entering into their next fight. Tony shrugged; he hadn't really been paying attention then, either, likely because they all got the meeting alert at an ungodly hour of seven AM.

Tony had barely made it into the room before the meeting began. He had noticed Loki sitting hunched in a metal chair, not even the swivel kind he might add, away from the other Avengers brewing a cold look. It took a moment for Tony to realize Loki sat unimpressed with regret pooling in his eyes.

To be fair, it was moderately awkward when the team had to brief in Fury about the situation. Surprisingly, it was Natasha who piped up about it.

"Loki needs to be off the case," Natasha worded politely, her eyes filled with promise and an air of 'it's nothing personal'about her.

Fury's one eye wandered over to the benched demigod.

"And why is that?" A tone of mistrust lingered in his low words.

Steve swooped in just in time. "He's been having issues."

"Fainting spells," Bruce clarified.

"Fainting." Fury said, slowly. He made it sound like he either didn't believe them or didn't completely care.

"It's bad, Fury," Barton piped up, legs resting in his swivel chair.

Loki sighed in protest, waving a hand in the air flippantly. "No, no, pretend like I'm not even here." He rolled his eyes.

No one cares about you, the automatic thought immediately supplied. A look of irritation flashed in his expressive face.

"But, fainting, really?" Fury uttered with disbelief in his voice.

Loki's irritation grew as his eyes narrowed and he threw his hands up in the air. "We gods have plights too, mortal," he grumbled, green eyes piercing the holographic image before them.

"Even something so mundane?" He asked and Loki couldn't tell if he was serious or if he was cleverly mocking the demigod.

Loki's patience, however, had run out.

"I can still crush you, mortal. Do not test my conviction so much, or you will not appreciate the view." Loki threatened, a fury replacing his features as he curled and uncurled his fists.

Abruptly, the god stood up and left the room even as Steve protested and made to follow him.

"Let him go," Barton suggested softly. "He needs to let it out on his own."

"I disagree," Thor muttered but he hesitated and didn't get up to go after his brother anyways.

Tony's brown eyes had mirrored concern, feeling as though they were losing the trickster that had been finding redemption on their side. He considered following him, and his thoughts drifted to Loki for the rest of the meeting, yet he, too, found himself remaining seated hoping, wishing, for the best while mentally preparing himself for the worst.

"Tony? Earth to Tony?"

He didn't recognize the voice right away that said his name but he did snap out of his mournful stare.

"What?"

"You were heading out to space for a bit. You all right?" Bruce's brown eyes glanced over Tony's form quizzically.

"Uh, yeah, just thinking."

Bruce nodded knowingly, "We'll talk to him later," he whispered confidentially.

Tony smiled but barely. "Thanks, Bruce. I owe you one."

"Just another bagel," Bruce replied, winking.

Tony couldn't help it but feel a shadow of foreboding eclipse his mind. He tried shaking his head to clear his thoughts and it helped marginally, before he could have sworn he saw a flicker of Loki around the corner looking sorrowful and snarling, but the image disappeared and soon Tony was suiting up and heading out the door.

~#~

"Enough," Loki relented, shoulders slumping forwards as he held his head in his sweaty palms, eyes closing away from the overturned room as he took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Why is this happening to me?" he asked in despair, his voice growling as he threw a fist out towards his side.

"Would you like me to call the team?" the voice in the walls asked, trying to be helpful.

Loki groaned. "I do not require their help."

A silence met Loki's ears and even the trickster knew a lie when he heard one.

He signed, "No, Jarvis. I…will be okay." Another lie-or was it? Was this the end for the trickster?

His eyes reflected his pervasive feelings of hopelessness. In the duration of time between the Avengers meeting and the team suiting up, Loki had demolished the remains of a large guest bedroom. Luckily the demigod had the grace and foresight to realize mucking up his own room would be ill advised. It meant he had to take the stairs in a short descent to find the room he wound up destroying and he almost hadn't made it, but luck, for once, was on his side. Since him coming down the pillows had been separated from their cases with white feathers still floating in the air (an order in the chaos), the door had been unhinged, the bookcase was scattered without shelves, chairs laid broken, the books, of course, laid intact on the floor and the bed's comforter lay disheveled, dragging on the floor even as Loki sat on it now.

It was a mess and a distraction from everything that echoed inside Loki's soul.

He struggled to shake the feeling of loneliness off his shoulders. His eyes watered and for the first time in a long while he found himself crying. He cried for all he had lost-his family, his brother, his mother, the Allfather's acceptance, his childhood, his identity, his stolen life. He mourned for the torture that had found him after the Bifrost and mourned for the Loki within him that lay broken, smashed and forgotten.

Oh, how far he had fallen.

He felt that this was it. This was everything he had left and in reality he held nothing. Imagined grains of sand fell from his fists as ashy figures entered his mind.

How quick everything he had worked for could be lost. Just in the snap of fingers Loki's whole identity could be extinguished from the universe.

Loki cried long and hard that day-alone and isolated with only the painful lies hidden in his skull.

No one but Jarvis witnessed his weakness but Loki knew this wasn't a fair assessment as so many of the other Avengers had witnessed his fainting spells too. Loki couldn't help but feel it was a failure on his part to have allowed the Avengers to see this weak side of him. It made him different, on the same plane as them and he resented that. He wasn't like them; he wasn't a part of them. Maybe he was bitter, still mourning his failure of leading Midgard, because he wanted to be better than the mortals, he wanted to be mighty and strong. He wanted…to be like Thor, except he never was. He curled up in a ball on the floor, finally, before drifting off into restless sleep.

~#~

"Sir," Jarvis began quietly.

"Hey J, kinda busy right now. But, uh, what's up?" Tony blasted through another fake brick wall, narrowly avoiding one of the dummy women without any eyes and a wig of brown hair.

"I believe we have a situation at the tower, sir."

Tony's heart clenched.

"A situation? What kind of situation?" He asked in alarm, a hundred different situations flashing before his eyes.

"Sir, Loki appears to be pacing by the front door."

"Oh." Either Tony's mind wasn't working right or the direness of the situation had yet to take hold of him. "And why's that a bad thing, J?"

"I believe he's going to leave the tower, sir."

"And why do you believe that?"

"He said this before he left."

"Wait, he already left?

The AI had the nerve to sound guilty. "Yes, sir, about two minutes and thirty seven seconds ago."

Tony sighed, crunching his eyes in exasperation, unable to facepalm at the moment.

"Where'd he go, Jarvis?"

"I believe he mentioned the park."

"So, some idea but not the full picture? Great. Tell Cap I'm heading out, will you, J?"

"Of course, sir."

~#~

When Tony got to Central Park he took off his armor and carried his silver suitcase with him as his feet crunched over grass and gravel, killing unsuspecting insects (though he tried not to think too much about them). The sky had darkened with a chill and threatened to drop icy rain out on the mortals below. Tony removed his dark sunglasses and hooked them onto his shirt. He wasn't in his classic band shirts rather a simple, inconspicuous gray hoodie and tight, black skinny jeans. One time Bruce had lost his pants and told Tony his were far too tight to be worn comfortably. Tony smiled fondly now at the memory.

He tried going over his words to the trickster during the remainder of his walk alone.

Would he offer Loki peace and trust? Would he remind Loki that the team and he were supporting him in whichever way they could? Would he try to pry more details out of him about his torture or should he just leave that topic untouched?

What were the details? Tony didn't know Loki well enough to know when to shut up and when to pry. If he was honest with himself, he was still being careful around Loki when there were windows nearby. Loki had threatened Fury that morning and if Tony wasn't dead wrong, he felt it was more a defensive tactic than said with truth and heartfelt hatred.

But then again, he really didn't know Loki very well.

Steve was impossible to get information out of. He was a brick house of evasion, stating how he felt Loki's words were said in confidentiality rather than public knowledge to the super soldier. So, that was a bust.

Still, Tony seemed to have a few insights to the trickster than some of his other teammates. Maybe they would need this approach with Loki, one by one talking to him, showing that they care and that he matters until he starts taking the stepping stones to come to new conclusions about himself. It was worth a shot, at least.

As Tony walked, one sneaker in front of the other, he wondered what Pepper could have done to help him after Afghanistan. The thought caused some anxiety as one shoulder rose up over the other almost like a twitch. He figured maybe if Pepper had kept the alcohol in tighter quarters that may have helped. And just being there to listen if Tony ever did decide to open his mouth on the topic and to let it out; speaking of, he should probably talk about New York some time.

Baby steps, Tony thought, as he began to see the black and green outline of the demigod ahead.

First things first: project Loki.

"Hey buddy," Tony reached out a hand to Loki's shoulder before he dropped his hand awkwardly. Touching was probably a no-go.

Still, he felt the need to engage in some form of human to god contact, so thoughtfully, Tony snapped a branch off the nearest tree and lightly dabbed it on Loki's shoulder.

Loki, for his part, didn't flinch and Tony let himself breathe a long sigh of relief. He tossed the branch to the side and gracefully sat down beside the demigod, hands resting on his knees as they relaxed into a temple style in front of him.

Tony looked out at the water with Loki for a long moment of silence. It occurred to Tony how comfortable the notion was: sitting by each other, hero versus reformed villain, breathing together and just existing. It was practically poetic.

Tony couldn't help but smile at the thought.

After another moment, Tony tossed a glance over to Loki.

The trickster's green eyes lay locked on the forward scene.

Tony's lips pursed automatically as he shifted his vision back over the water. Tony could see now what Loki saw: birds flapping on the azure tranquility, little babies squawking and some attempting to take flight.

"Freedom." The trickster's voice stated in a gravely tone.

Tony watched the birds-the way they lifted their wings and splashed the surface, sending out echoing ripples and the way the sunlight stroked their water resistant plumage.

"They are free."

Tony's brown eyes fell upon Loki's form again.

"So are you," he whispered softly and ever so heartfelt.

Loki laughed.

"This is not freedom," he shook his head in disgust. "Freedom is not being confined in a tower incapable of venturing outside without someone finding you because you cannot be trusted alone. Freedom is not being locked away until your captors might have use of you. Living isn't freedom…Death is." Loki's eyes flashed with desperation and Tony could have sworn he saw pain swimming like sharks inside those green eyes.

"Yeah, but if you're dead you can't experience that freedom. So, really, the only way to feel freedom is to be alive to feel it."

Loki turned to Tony, menacingly.

"You are a fool, mortal."

"No more foolish than you." Tony immediately supplied.

Loki's eyes narrowed, he opened his mouth to retort but words flung free from Tony's instead.

"I mean, it's pretty foolish to think you can experience feelings after you're dead. Being dead trumps everything else. Once you're gone-that's it. You're gone."

"Do you not see the beauty of that?"

Tony shrugged. "I make it a rule of mine to try not to think about it. If a mission has to end that way for the greater good, then so be it. But if there can be another way to save the guy at the end of it? You can betcha that nothing in the world will stop me from taking it."

Loki's lips formed a thoughtful frown.

"Come on, after what happened in New York? I knew sending that nuke into the wormhole was a one trip mission. I could have easily not come back out. But, for whatever damn reason, maybe because the universe hates me, I fell back to Earth. I don't know what you believe in, and I don't really care to open that can of worms, but I think you're forgetting all of the great things about life. Before I started passing out I got a glimpse of all those things: shawarma, partying, Pepper, having a kid one day. All of it-and none of it would have mattered if I didn't make it back out of there. Death isn't freedom-sure, maybe it's freedom of all the shit in life, but life's not just about the shit. It's about the peace, the appreciation of all the little things. Life's about having dreams, within reason, and making them into a feasible reality. I've faced the end of the line too many times to count, and every time I'm grateful to come out of it walking or even crawling away. You have to believe that things get better because they can. Otherwise, what's the point? But you have to be alive at the end of the day to experience it. If you're dead, that's it. You're gone and you don't get a do-over, you don't get a second chance to make things right. You're gone as suddenly as if you were never there. And everybody else is left behind to mourn you…not that you'd be around to know that." Tony shifted his ass cheeks on the grass.

"Life can be really, really shitty. You know that. It doesn't excuse what happened to you, nothing will, yet life doesn't end there. You can feel dead inside and even wanting to die but once you're there and experiencing it, you'll put everything into wishing you could live. It's probably the most tragic thing about dying…"

A thoughtful expression lay within the lines of Loki's face.

"All of this is easy for you to say, mortal, but in this scenario you are always the hero and I always the monster." Regret pooled in Loki's eyes.

Tony tilted his head before responding with, "You're not a monster unless you choose to be."

Loki's face turned to one aghast.

"How so?"

"The way I see it, unless you're choosing to kill or rape people, you're not a monster."

"…You do understand I've done the former heavily, yes?"

"Hear me out," Tony motioned with an extended palm. "Unless you're choosing to be a monster, you're not a monster. I don't believe in all this wumbo jumbo that people, or gods, are born into evil. I think, in many ways, evil is taught. If you've grown up believing that you're nothing, why would you ever have the audacity to think any differently?" He huffed for a moment. "Look, this isn't coming out the way I want it to, but, basically, monsters aren't born, they're made. And if you can make someone into a shell of themselves, then it's also possible to repair them, to put them back together again. Do you know what I mean?" Tony's eyes searched Loki's, the oddness of the situation finally sinking in.

Loki's gaze shifted back to the birds as though he were disinterested in the current conversation, and hell, maybe he was.

"…If you can believe in all the shit in life and all the pain that has been wrought upon you, then there's hope that you can learn to experience all the best parts of life and become whole, if not again, then for the very first time."

Loki's lips twitched for a miniscule second.

"Life is worth living," he softly mused.

"Or something like that," Tony nodded, taking a moment to really, genuinely and actually, look at Loki. "Besides, there's always having sex, too."

Loki chuckled, "Of course you would point that out."

Tony smiled, hands rising above his head as he made a quick comeback. As he settled into a new position, something that Loki had said trailed again into his skull.

"You're not captured by us, you know. Maybe when all things have settled more we can talk to Fury about giving you a longer…radius to work with. It's more of a cautionary measure, really." Tony's eyes had landed on watching his fingers stroke the grass so they missed the compassion that entered into Loki's features.

"I would like to stay here for another moment."

Tony smiled, realizing this was the manner in which Loki would say thank you.

"Okay."

And maybe, just maybe, things would be okay for them all again soon.

A/N: Hey everybody! First, I'd like to say thank you to everyone who is reading, viewing and leaving reviews on this story! I so, so, soooo appreciate it and it really encourages me to play around with these characters more each time. This fic has evolved in many ways and if you've seen Avengers: Infinity War (I've seen it twice by now) then you'll recognize a few of the themes/details in this new chapter.

Any who, while it's been a ride so far, I'm hoping to bring back more of what we're all trying to figure out (the fainting) into this story again soon. Until then, much more character exploration and Loki being difficult will have to do. Thank you for reading, again! This chapter was handwritten: 4.13, 4.14, 4.30, 5.4, 5.10.2018 And typed somewhere within that timeline, too, and edited 5.11. See you all again in the next one! Love & light to you all.