Hey guys, we finally have another chapter. Yay!

So before we begin I just want to say, that technically this chapter was close to being 12,000 words long and all because I was trying to avoid writing a certain chapter, but then it ended up being part of this anyway. So then this happened, but that's a lot to put on you guys with just one chapter. So I broke it up into three parts. So I just want to give the heads up that these next three chapters are all consistent with each other.

Confused? Me too, so why don't we just start reading. ;)

Violet's Pov:

I laid there and I just let the tears fall freely.

It was a few minutes before I heard someone come in. I glance over and the familiar blue and white baseball cap catches my attention. I turn over and push myself back up as I watch Clem walk back in and she comes over and sits on the edge of the bed, Woody still wrapped in her arms.

She looks at me with a worried expression and I realize that my eyes are still wet with tears. "Shit."

"Everything okay, Vi?"

I quickly go to rub them away and I nod to tell her that I'm alright. I actually feel ten times better, now that she's walked back into the room. Just her presence has such a calming effect on me.

I feel safe whenever Clem is with me. She doesn't judge me for who I am and she doesn't push me when I'm not willing to talk. She's always there for me when I need her and she always strives to make sure that I'm alright before herself. It's sweet, but I hate that she's willing to put herself in danger for my sake. But I also know that goes the same for me, I know Clem is troubled by the fact that I threw myself between her and Robert to protect her from the blow. Especially because that could have cost me my life, but no life was worth living without her. I would never forgive myself if she got hurt because of me.

Clem chuckles at my response and shakes her head. "Liar." She slides her hand across the bed and grabs my hand interlocking our fingers. "It's okay, you don't have to tell me." She sends me a wink and I can feel my face flush in embarrassment. Most people were oblivious, but sometimes Clem could read me like a damn book.

That's when a buzzing sound comes from Clem's pocket. She pulls out her phone and looks over a message she's been sent and I can see her smile falter slightly. "Hospital's visiting hours end in a few minutes. Lee's downstairs waiting for me." She says as she repockets her phone, a look of guilt crossing her face. Though she doesn't make any move to get up and leave.

"I hope you don't mind. Woody's been staying at my house while you were out. I know you can't exactly take care of him at the moment, so I figured it'd be the best option. And AJ loves having him over. I hope that's alright." She asks me.

I smile at her and nod. Of course it was okay for her to watch Woody. I don't exactly have a place to keep him anymore and I can't really keep him at the hospital twenty-four-seven, even if he is a licensed therapy animal.

She sends me a slight smile and goes to stand up releasing her hold on my hand. "I'll see you after school tomorrow okay?"

But her movement strikes panic through me. I quickly latch onto her arm preventing her departure and I shake my head to show I don't want her to go. She can't leave me alone here.

Clem sends me a sympathetic smile. "Violet, it's okay. I'll be back tomorrow. I promise."

I shake my head and I feel on the verge of tears again. I don't want her to leave. I'll have no one here to protect me. What if my mom comes back, or Christa? I can't face them without her or I might go into a panic attack.

I can feel my body start to shake at the thought. I already don't like being here on its own, but I'm scared someone is going to do something to me without Clem here. She's the only thing keeping the monsters away and the second that she's gone there going to know.

The look on Clem's face tells me that her heart is breaking. I know she hates seeing me so distraught and I'm hoping it'll make her stay, even though in the back of my mind I know she can't. I just really don't want to be left alone.

Clem walks back and sits on the edge of the bed again, but closer this time. "Violet, baby, it's okay. It's gonna be okay." She tucks a strand of hair behind my ear like she usually does.

I shake my head and I can feel a few tears slip out. When has anything ever been okay? My emotions are all messed up. So much has happened in such a short amount of time and I'm so fucking scared. I need her right now.

I'm so distraught and distracted by my thoughts that I almost don't feel Clem grab my hand. She rubs the back of my hand with her thumb a few times before she intertwines our fingers once more. "You know, when I was little I used to be afraid of the dark." She tells me.

Her statement throws me for a minute, but I'm oddly fixated on what she's saying to me. "I always hated it when I had to go to bed and my parents would leave the room after saying goodnight. I was afraid something was going to enter my room and try and kidnap me." Clem explains.

Then I see a smile come to her face as she looks down at our intertwined hands before looking back up to meet my gaze. "But there was this thing that my dad used to say to me. It's one of the things I remember the most from him be...before he passed."

I see her smile drop momentarily, but it soon returns as her mind goes back to the happy memory of her father. "He'd say, just because I'm leaving it don't mean that I won't be right by your side. When you need me and you can't see me in the middle of the night, just close your eyes and say a prayer. It's okay I know your scared when I'm not here." She reaches out and her hand touches my heart. "But I'll always be right there. Even though I'm leaving, I ain't goin' nowhere."

I feel oddly calmed by her words and the shaking stops, but I still have a few tears here and there. Clem reaches up and rubs a few of them away with her thumb before leaning in and kissing me. "I'm not going anywhere, Vi. I'll always be right here." She says as she points to my heart once more.

I push myself up and throw my arms around her neck in a rush of emotion. Clem let's go of Woody and she embraces my hug with one of her own. "I love you." She quietly whispers to me. I tighten my embrace and slowly nod over her shoulder to let her know that I feel the same. I want this moment to last forever and just spend eternity in her arms, but sadly we pull apart a few minutes later.

Literally right after we separate Christa comes to the door saying how we have to wrap things up because Clem has to leave. I want to glare at her and tell her to fuck off, but I hold back the unpleasant comments and only internally think them.

Clem picks Woody up and cradles him in her arms and I give his ears a stroke before they have to leave. "I'll come back tomorrow, okay."

I don't like it and it shows on my face, but I nod anyway. Clem only smiles and leans in to kiss the tip of my nose. "That's my girl. I love you, Vi."

My face is overrun with red in seconds, but even in my embarrassed state, I manage a small heart with my hands as a way to say it back and Clem smiles at me before she walks out the door.

She's not even gone a minute before I already miss her. I look down at my lap and a slight smile comes to my face when I catch sight of Clover. At least I still have one thing to remind me of her. I lay back cuddling him in my arms and I realize just how tired I really am. I've only been up for about two hours after being out of it for almost two days, but I feel exhausted. Going through so many emotions all at once and just the stress of everything that happened today has me drained. So despite how on edge I am about being in a place like this, I find Clover's presence to be calming and I let myself slip into a state of sleep.

I woke with a start. I shot up in bed and I was greeted with a sharp pain in my side. But I hardly seem to notice the burning sensation when my heart is going off the rails and my breathing is fast and heavy. My eyes dart around the room and I realize that I'm still in my room at the hospital. I can feel that my shirt is damp with sweat as it sticks to my back and I can't seem to steady my hands as my body shakes violently.

It's dark, except for the sliver of light that slips in from the hallway. The heart monitor next to me sounds off with the accelerated rhythm of the pounding in my chest. Which I guess is why Christa comes in a few seconds later.

"Violet, honey, are you alright?" She asks me, at seeing the state I'm in.

It takes me a second to register that she's said anything to me, but I ultimately nod to give her an answer. Yet she still checks me over to make sure nothing is wrong and I haven't done any more damage to my pre-existing injuries. Everything really isn't okay, I mean it was just a dream, but it scared me and waking up in a place like this isn't very comforting. I really wish Clem was here to tell me that everything will be okay.

I don't even care that Christa is in the room at the moment. I'm too shaken up to hate her right now. But I have to admit, as far as nurses go, she's really not that bad. She hasn't done anything to me like I was afraid of, and she's a really nice person. Still, there's a slight distaste in my mouth just because she is a nurse and the fact of the situation I'm in. So I don't trust her one hundred percent. Though what she says next is getting me there.

"I believe the doctors are letting you take out your IV in the morning. Won't that be nice?"

I nod my head as my heart rate slowly returns to normal. I'm still slightly on edge because she's here, but I'm not panicking like before. I'm actually really glad to be getting rid of this stupid thing. Then I can actually maneuver freely.

Once she's sure that everything is okay, Christa leaves again and I'm left on my own. Which is fine I guess. I mean, I wish Clem was here, but other than that I have no interest in seeing anyone.

I look over at the clock and its red numbers are bright in the darkness, flashing the time eleven o'three across its face. So it's only been about three hours since I fell asleep. I still feel tiredness weighing me down, but I don't want to sleep after what just happened. I actually really need something to channel out all of the hidden emotions that I've been feeling. I need some sort of outlet because if I don't I'm only going to break down in tears as a last resort for expelling all of my pent up feelings.

That's when I remember that Clem had brought me my backpack. I look down at the side of the bed and it sits there resting on the floor. I turn on this little bedside lamp that sits close enough for me to reach and then I lean over and grab the bag from the floor. My side protests, but I don't dwell on the stinging sensation long. My longing for my notebooks overpowers my physical pain because the mental pain is far greater.

It's still open so I pull out my black and white journal and set it in my lap. Then I unzip a small pocket and pray to God that I still have a pen or pencil or something to write with. I easily find a blue pencil that's decorated with yellow stars across its round surface. I smile at my victory and set my backpack back down on the ground next to me.

I turn to the next blank page in my notebook and I remember that I still owe Clem a part two for my story that I wrote her. I have an idea of what I want to write for that, but I'm not super motivated to write it at the moment. Besides, I have the wrong journal for that at the moment and I really want to write out everything that I've been through in the last two to three days. It's a lot to process and I'd like to at least attempt to drain some of the pent up feelings.

There are times where I feel like I can just bury everything that's been bothering me and other times where I desperately need to get things out. Usually, that takes place during my writing, but when I still can't get rid of the feeling, that's most likely when the tears make an appearance and I start to break. It's not fun, but there's not much I can do when I can't express how I feel to other people.

I grip my pencil in my right hand, but my hand is shaky like I've had too much caffeine or something. I try to ignore that fact but when I go to write something out and my pencil presses down on the paper a sharp pain shoots through my wrist. I drop the pencil and I feel kind of alarmed, but I'm trying not to freak out and keep my heart rate steady. I take a deep breath to calm myself before I shakily pick my pencil back up. I try again, but I receive the same pain as before and I barely get out a single word.

I drop the pencil and grip my hand. "No, thi-this can't be fucking happening. Please, no."

My wrist has a compression wrap bound around it. I know I messed it up when my dad had pushed me to the floor. I had sprained it, but I didn't think it'd hurt this much and I most definitely didn't think it'd actually prevent me from writing.

I can feel my emotions starting to come through and my heart is starting to speed up again. So in one last attempt to calm myself, I try again, but it's the same result. It still hurts to try and write. I can feel myself starting to panic. I can't lose my ability to write, I just can't. It's all I have left.

I squeeze my eyes shut as I feel the tears creeping up on me. I'll be damned if I let myself cry, but that was all I had to keep it together, to rid myself of everything I've felt in the last ten to six hours. I've been pushed, punched, cut, yelled at. I've gone through everything and I've had so much taken away from me. My voice, my confidence, my home, I had almost lost my girlfriend, and now this. Almost everything I love has been taken from me. Being able to write out everything was the last thing keeping me together, my one ticket out.

I can feel my hands start to shake as I close them into a fist. I've been pushed over the edge and I fucking snap. In a violent fit of rage, I grab my notebook and I throw it as hard as I can against the wall across the room. "I can't fucking take this anymore!"

I grab the pencil that I had and break it in half with an audible snap. And I throw the pieces in the same direction as my notebook.

My hands are violently shaking as I grip the blanket in my hands. I can no longer help it as tears overtake me and start to stream down my cheeks. I think about why I'm alone. By myself with no one else to explain what I'm feeling. How far do I go if no one knows what I'm going through? I don't want to be brought down with everything that's happened to me. I don't want it to be too late this time to fix everything.

I disappear into the fear, but there's no coming back when you're still carrying the past. I can't just erase everything that's happened. I don't want to be the last one in line, because I've finally figured out what's mine.

I don't want to live to waste another day underneath the shadow of mistakes I've made. I don't want to fall and say I lost it all. Because just like my notebook, there's a part of me that hit the wall. It's leaving pieces of me behind and I feel like I'm breaking inside.

I'm too burnt out to fight back, so after I turn out the light I just lay back down and submit to the tears. I try to think about what Clem told me, but it only makes me miss her more and causes more tears to form. Sob after sob racks through my body and I cry myself to sleep that night.