Hey, yall.

I know it's been a while; been dealing with some personal issues making it difficult to write lately. But I'm glad I was able to get this chapter in. :)

Violet's Pov:

I stayed in the hospital for three more days, each one as agonizing as the last. I wanted out of there as soon as possible, but the doctors were hesitant to let me go. Always saying something along the lines of letting my ribs have time to heal a bit more before I returned to the activities of my regular life. I understood that I had been injured, but I didn't really care. I'd gone through this before without medical assistance so it didn't seem like that big of a deal to me, but I guess it is.

Sure it was nice to get a dose of pain medication every so often to ease the fire in my side, but I still wanted out of there. Though I have to admit, I wasn't really looking forward to what came after my hospital visit either. I had trouble sleeping at night with my fear of being left alone in a place like this and thinking about what was to come next. It didn't help that I couldn't write for quite a while.

The only thing that made it worth it was that every day Clem came to visit me after school. Lee even stopped in to say hi a couple of times and of course, he always brought AJ who was always ecstatic to see me. Once Clem brought the whole gang to see me and Brody almost had an emotional meltdown worrying about me after we finally explained everything that had happened, everyone finally learning the whole story.

I was worried about how they'd react with all the secrets I've kept hidden, but no one ever reacted with any kind of malice towards me. In all honesty, I kind of feel like everyone feels bad that they didn't do more to prevent what happened, but how could they? No one knew, and I sure wouldn't have told them. But the cat was out of the bag now, and all anyone could do was keep moving forward.

I guess that's what we were doing now as we drove down the suburban streets and I watched the houses roll by from the other side of the car's glass window. My hand reached up and I found myself subconsciously fingering the golden locket that hung around my neck. I had quickly learned that I would always mess with the pendant whenever I was feeling nervous or scared. But it made me feel better knowing that it was there.

I haven't had it for very long but from the day Clem gave it to me in the hospital, it became one of my most treasured items. It means the world that Clem gave this to me and even more so with what she did with it. I don't know how she was able to steal my picture without me noticing, but she made a copy of my picture of Jackson and had it modified so it could fit inside my locket. And it makes my heart melt every time I think about it and I refuse to part with it. Nothing could ever compare to something as special as this given to me by the most important person in my life.

I had been released from the hospital earlier that day with strict instructions to take it easy until my injuries had fully healed and I was given some pain medication to take every day to help with any discomfort. I was glad to be out of that imprisonment, but it only felt like I was being moved to another prison as we reached the end of the street.

My mom had come to pick me up from the hospital, but the news she brought didn't have me feeling very excited. She had gotten clearance for us to move into Grandma and Grandpa's old house, but I was worried about facing yet another horror from my past. It was like the hit's just kept on coming, in a quite literal sense when you think about it.

Out of all the good memories I had here there was one that overpowered all the others and it wasn't a good feeling. It's an image that never left me and never will leave me, no matter how hard I try to bury it in the depths of my mind. I wish I could lock it away and bury the key and never have to think about it again, but when everything that has happened to me is revolved around that moment it's kind of hard to forget when you're always reminded that it was your fault. Because that's what it was, my fault. It was always my fault.

Stephany pulled the car in front of the house and we both got out. I felt my stomach twist as I stared up at the front of the house, the tall pine trees looming over it in the background that made up the forest that backed up against all the houses on the north side of the street. I remember when I used to be so excited every time I'd see this place. Memories that I wish I could go back to. Jackson and I would go for walks in the woods with Grandpa and we'd walk until we reached this small pond in the middle of the forest, the one where the surface shined like stained glass when the sun would set. Then we'd usually come back to find Grandma working in her flower garden in the backyard or cooking in the kitchen. Neither of our grandparents could ever sit still for long, always going places or doing little projects around the house.

Which is why I always liked it here so much, there was never a dull moment. That is until Grandpa died. Then grandma kind of shut down and the house grew quiet and the only noise that would occur was the constant chatter of the TV playing and the small creeks from the rocking chair that grandma always sat in. Sometimes she'd start crying and it'd amplify the already unsettling quietness around us, so I'd just turn up the TV and try not to acknowledge it. But in those days there was one sound that I remembered the most out of all of them...the gunshot.

I was so scared when it had first gone off. I was terrified when her body folded up and just kept rocking. Five hours had passed once my mom had finally come to get me, but I hadn't moved. I hadn't done anything. I didn't call the police or an ambulance, I didn't try to stop the situation from unfolding. I was asked why I never did anything and all I could respond with was silence. And from then on I was blamed for what had happened. It was my fault and it always would be. There wasn't a day my dad let me forget it. He blamed me for what happened with his parents and his way of dealing with grief turned dark. It's why the abusing started. He drank and took his anger out on me. A repeated cycle that had lasted for five years until now.

So with things being what they are, I was now back to where this had all started...my grandparent's house.

There was silence as we stood on the front porch. My mom was trying to put on a brave face, but I could tell that we were both thinking the same thing as thoughts of what had happened filtered through the mind. I could feel my body tense as the key was inserted into the lock and the click of the door opening was heard. I haven't stepped foot in here in five years and my heart starts to race as I enter through the door. No one has really been here since then so the air is thick with an overly stuffy feeling and the place could use a good dusting since no one has been here to maintain it. The sent is overwhelming and I can feel a heavy weight settle on my shoulders.

It's guilt. And I can feel my hands start to shake as there's only silence, reminding me of what came before the storm. My heart hammers in my chest and there's a stinging in my eyes as I fight the urge to cry. I'm overwhelmed with nostalgia and I'm terrified that if I turn the corner leading into the living room I'm going to see my grandmother's body still rocking in her chair.

It starts to get hard to breathe and it feels like I have to concentrate hard in order to get air in and out of my lungs as my breathing gets shaky and heavy. That's when I feel something touch my shoulder and panic stikes through me. My eyes widen and I whip around and my hands instinctively go up to block whatever just made contact with me.

It takes me a second to register what just happened and I slowly lower my arms back to my side. It was my mom who had put her hand on my shoulder. Not in any kind of malice, but in a caring, comforting way, and I had just rejected it. I feel guilt wash over me for reacting the way I did as I see slight hurt on her face. I've never acted that way before, what the hell was that all about?

"I-I'm sorry Violet. I didn't mean..." Her words fall flat not knowing what exactly she should say.

I get what she's trying to say. So I nod to show that I understand and to try and get across some sort of apology for reacting the way I did. I know our relationship isn't the best. And I'd like to start over, I really would, but everything either feels really awkward or forced. Everything that's happened has put a lot of strain on us and our relationship. Stephany is filled with regret, sorrow, and shock and I'm just a complete mess of anxiety, depression, and fear. Not to mention my muteness doesn't exactly help with anything.

So feeling slightly awkward and also overwhelmed with emotion my mom excuses herself as she goes to start sorting through everything that had been left in the house and to clean the place up a bit.

I actually feel kind of sad at her departure. I'm still not really sure how I should feel about her, but I can feel it deep down. There's a part of me that wants her to wrap her arms around me and hold me close. To tell me that everything is going to be okay and to comfort me through everything that I'm going through.

I haven't felt anything like that from my parents in years and I realize...I want that. And I think she does too, but neither of us is willing to say it. Emotions are still high and confusing and even though it'd probably be better if we had that type of feeling right now, it's just not the right time. So not wanting to be on the ground floor where the past tragedy occurred I head upstairs to my old room that I used to stay in.

The stairs creak under my feet and each step that leads me farther into the house brings a thickness to the air as feelings overwhelm me and my feet start to feel like lead weighing me down. The eerie silence in the house is unsettling and I almost feel like someone is just waiting in one of the empty rooms for me to walk by so they can jump out and scare me. I shudder at the feeling and the cold of the house doesn't help as chills run up and down my spine. I'm already shaking from how anxious I am, I don't need more stress to be added to the mix.

I stop in front of a door that has purple flowers going across it. Stickers that I had thrown up there when I was little, now faded and worn from the years of wear and tear on them. I look over to the room next door and I see stickers across that one as well except instead of flowers their letters that spell out the name "Jay" in a diagonal descent.

I look away and clutch my locket in my hand as a sharp feeling of sorrow shoots through me. I take a minute to regain my composure and I take a deep breath before finally opening the door. I push it open and a feeling of reminiscence overtakes me. It's just how I left it the last time I was here except everything has a thin layer of dust that's settled from the lack of movement in the room. The stale air is forced down my throat and I feel kind of claustrophobic from the lack of fresh air that gives me a sense of feeling free.

I'd open the window, but the November air is unforgiving and it's already chilly in here as is. The only thing keeping me warm is the red hoddie I have on, but it doesn't stop the chills that shake my body ever so often. I give a deep sigh as I set my backpack down on the ground. It's about the only thing I really have to move in, pretty much everything we owned was destroyed in the fire, which I'm not sure if I should feel happy or sad about because I hated that place.

The small desk in the corner of my room catches my eye and I see that I still have sheets of lined paper stacked on top of it. But I smile and even silently chuckle to my self as I catch a glimpse of drawings that are scattered across the desk. Drawings of dumb little pictures that younger me had drawn. Stuff along the lines of puppies and kittens, houses on grassy hills with blue skies, and shapes I'd create with stars. I roll my eyes at how cheesy they are, but I was around ten years old at the time these were drawn.

I shuffle through the pile and I come across a drawing that makes my heart drop and my smile falls. It's a picture of a knight in armor riding a horse and a familiar shield stares back at me. My inspiration for the one I drew before on the paper that Clem had found, except this time it's not drawn in my hand.

I remember that day. It was raining outside so Jackson and I were stuck inside and he found me coloring in my room. I had drawn a castle and he said that he was going to draw a knight to defend Castle Violet. A name which I thought was dumb at the time.

But that shield was his symbol. When two swords collied they form an X, the mark of our kingdom.

I wish he could be my knight right now and I feel tears form in my eyes as I pick up the drawing and I run my thumb across the page. It's as if it was just drawn yesterday, the memory fresh in my mind.

I walk across the room and take a seat on the edge of the bed; the old mattress creaking under my weight. I can feel tears slowly slide down my face and hear the faint splash of one hitting the page that's held in my hand. "I miss you J."

I'm interrupted by my thoughts with a knock at the door. I jump up in a panic and reach for the first thing I can throw. It's an old stuffed animal that had been on the bed which isn't very harmful if I were to actually try and use it as a weapon, but it's something I can grip and throw easily. I hear the voice of my mom from outside and immediately I start to calm and I realize just how fast my heart was beating. What the hell was wrong with me?

I quickly toss the stuffed dog aside as I hear the door handle click so it no longer looks like I was about to assault her with a plushie. The door opens and in walks Stephany who is none the wiser about my mini panic attack. She seems pretty happy actually and she's about to tell me something, but she stops before any words come out and I'm confused by her next question.

"Violet, are you okay? What's the matter?"

I'm a little perplexed by her asking of this, but I quickly realize that my face is still wet with tears. However, I don't go to wipe them away, I don't deny it, and I don't fight it. I walk up to her and I show her the picture in my hands. I can tell she recognizes the drawing style as well and she sends me an understanding smile. "I miss him too."

Tears build up in my eyes as I nod and I can no longer help it as they fall from my eyes. It's all done naturally as if we've done it a million times and I'm brought into a hug and my mom lets me cry into her chest. And I get the moment that I was missing downstairs.

It was back to school on Monday after a weekend of getting used to our new house. I was still getting accustomed to not only being in the house but being slightly more comfortable around my mom. After the little moment we had, things didn't seem as forced, but we still had our awkward moments. At least I haven't tried to accidentally fight her anymore. But there were little things that would send me into a panic and I couldn't explain it. Usually, any unexpected or loud sounds did it, or if something brushed my arm or shoulder.

I don't understand. I mean, I've always been cautious and vigilant of my surroundings. I had to be when I had lived with a dragon. But I was never this jittery before and I always felt like something was going to jump out at me. And Monday was no exception.

I had felt nervous about going back because of such a long absence. I mean the whole school already talked about me behind my back. I was the silent girl that no one understood, so there was always talk, but this was different. I didn't want my whole story getting passed around like how the news of a fight does.

But I was relieved that I didn't have to worry about that. During lunch, I get told the supposedly amazing story of how Brody went off at a group of kids who were talking smack about me before the start of class. They shut it really quickly after that and there was no more talk about my disappearance or injuries.

I was also excited because today was also the day that I got to bring Woody back home, despite AJ's disappointment in not being able to watch him for me anymore according to Clem. I'd have to make sure to bring Woody over every time I went to Clem's house so AJ could see his little buddy.

I felt kind of bad for taking Woody back even though I really missed having him around, but Louis had stopped by Sunday afternoon and had rebought everything of Woody's that had burned in the fire. I told him that he didn't have to do that and that I could have replaced everything, but he insisted saying how enough was never enough when it came to me. I tend to disagree because I really don't think I deserve all of this, but I let Louis have this one.

So Clem brought Woody to school with her and passed him off to me once we all met at our usual lunch table. I let him sit on his towel in the middle of the table where everyone could see him and I laughed when Louis tried to feed him a carrot and he wouldn't take it.

"Vi, I think your rabbit's defective."

I can't help but chuckle because I've learned a few things about Woody that would seem very odd for a rabbit. Like the fact that he has a major sweet tooth. I thought it was just dumb luck that he liked the root beer ice cream, but I've learned that Woody has a bit of a sugar addiction. Don't get me wrong, he'll still eat fruits and vegetables, but he seemed to love anything that was sweet. From marshmallows to candy corn to ice cream and even cherry Slurpees.

I didn't like to make it a habit of feeding him junk food so I didn't give it to him often, but if I ever had anything new for him to try I was always interested in seeing if he'd actually eat it. Like I said I don't feed him sugar left and right, they were only used as treats. But I drew the line at chocolate and high levels of caffeine. I was not risking that.

But my eye catches something that sits in front of Louis that I know Woody will eat. So when Louis's attempt with the carrot fails for about the fifth time I lung forward and grab his banana. Which kind of hurts to do and I'm quickly scolded by Clem to not make any sudden movements like that with the condition my ribs are in.

I roll my eyes and nod as a way to say "I know" but I quickly return to my excitement. Once Louis takes notice that I stole his piece of fruit he lets out a defensive "Hey!" from being robbed. But I held up a finger to tell him to wait for a second as I peel the banana.

Once done, I break off a small piece at the end and everyone watches as I offer it to the rabbit. Woody is intrigued once he can smell it and he doesn't hesitate as he greedily takes it from my hand and starts to consume it.

Louis's eyes widen in amazement. "Holy shit! Look at him!"

I smile in victory at being able to impress Louis, though let's be real, that's not very hard to do. But it's even more satisfying when I amaze everyone else as well. Ruby saying something along the lines of, "Well ain't that the darndest thing." with a smile on her face.

I know what they're thinking. It's weird, right. But I swear by it, bananas are like crack for rabbits. They can't seem to get enough of it, but it was really weird because where in the hell would a rabbit get a banana out in the wild?

I pass the banana back to Louis so he can eat the rest of it and I sit back as I just watch the rabbit confidently. I tense however when I feel an arm wrap around my shoulders and I almost jump out of my chair. I quickly look and I see Clem retract her arm with an apologetic look on her face. "I'm sorry, Vi. Did I hurt you?"

My expression softens and I shake my head no, but Clem seems troubled by my response with the way I reacted. She lowers her voice so only I can hear. "Is everything okay, babe?"

I nod and send her a smile to show that I'm okay. Then this time I lean into her touch when she wraps her arm around me and I feel myself relax. I hate how jumpy I've been and I definitely don't want to make Clem worry more than she already does.

I'm actually really happy in this moment and I love the fact that I can just enjoy hanging out with my friends while the most important girl in my life has her arms around me. I look back at her and mouth the words "I Love you", before leaning in and pecking her on the lips. Clem smiles at my signs of affection and she reaches up her free hand to tuck my hair behind my ear as she whispers an "I love you too."

The action reminds me that I need to redye the tips of my hair blue again. There almost completely blonde and I liked having the hint of color, Clem always said I looked cute with my hair dyed. My mind has just been distracted with everything that I've had going on lately that I've been forgetful to do this. It's not that big of a deal, but I liked the way it looked. Louis even once tried to get me to do purple, but I wasn't having any of that.

We sat there for about five minutes before the bell rings to signal the end of lunch and I'm disappointed because I don't want to leave the moment of peace that I had. It feels like it's been forever since I've just been able to relax, or well, relax as much as I could. But I reluctantly rise from my seat anyway. At least I have English with Clem next. Which is why I find it sweet when she grabs Woody and my notebook for me. However, I don't notice when I drop one of my pencils on the ground, but someone else does.

We're about to walk out of the cafeteria when I feel someone come up behind me and grasp my shoulder. My reaction is fast and I don't even think as my hand turns to a fist. I whip around and strike whoever just grabbed me. I don't register the pain that shoots through my hand with the adrenalin rush coursing through me that caused my heart to race, but it's over in an instant.

Once I realize what just happened my eyes widen in shock as Louis now sits on the floor cupping his cheek; my pencil resting in his other hand. I had just punched him, and from the looks of it, quite hard at that. I don't even register the commotion behind me as everything gets blocked out from my mind. Though I'm pretty sure Ruby comes over to check on Louis and helps him up. All I can think about is what I had just done.

So I don't even hear it when Louis tells Ruby that he's okay and actually compliments me, saying how I had one hell of a punch. Both my mind and my heart are racing because I understand now, and just when I thought I was getting better.

I was scared, scared whenever anyone touched me and I didn't know it was coming. Scared of any loud noises that occurred out of nowhere. It's why I've been so uneasy because I've been traumatized from that last fight with my dad.

My eyes come to land on Clem and she sends me a concerned and worried look. And I feel tears gather in my eyes. I was a loaded gun and none of my friends were safe around me now. And that included her.