Who I Am - Lightning99

Chapter 9:

Confrontations

"So, what skills can you offer as new employees?" a rotund man asked from the kitchen of a vendor van detailed with a picture of a bear Pokémon and some doughnuts. His bespectacled, stern eyes scanned between a clipboard and the trio stood out on the street munching on the glazed or chocolate-coated doughnuts they had just purchased.

"Well, we've got very good persuasion skills, and we have great experience dealing with other people, which relates to the job because we would naturally have to deal with customers day-to-day. Moreover, our ability to deceive others can be very helpful in the fact that we can… present that we experienced salespeople in order to tempt the customers, to get your Bewear Bakery selling more goods than ever before!" Jessie said through her smirk, leaning forwards at an angle that ghosted around being risqué.

"I-Is that so? You deceive others?" he quizzically asked, fidgeting his paused gaze away from Jessie to his paper, quickly scraping his pen across it in what looked like distracting scribbles rather than purposeful notes.

"Ah… Correct! Ah hah, we've previously worked undercover you see, required to pretend we are who we aren't." Jessie leaned back, folding her arms as if impressed with her ruse.

"I see… And what about your previous employments made you have to go undercover?"

"I'm afraid we are contracted against detailing that."

While Jessie bargained with the employer, falsifying their applications and experiences to avoid explaining their cult-ish lives devoted to Team Rocket, James and Meowth were slouched against the red wall of the van.

James was completely perturbed at Jessie's risk of exposing their true pasts. He could not believe she was signing them all up for jobs so out of nowhere like that, even though they were borderline skint. They'd talked in their Poké-Center room about needing more money a few days prior, but James had considered the complications and had suggested taking their time to plan applications. Jessie, of course, ignored him, saw the blackboard propped out front of the van asking for employees, and signed them up.

"Well, all of your IDs seem to be in order." Apart from their names, they weren't. "I'm convinced. We need to get more doughnuts selling anyways – heck, the only ones we've sold lately were to a teenager and some of his Pokémon a few days back. If you can do that, you're all good in my book! When can you start?"

"Right now, if that's alright with you, sir," Jessie simpered, and the man nodded like a lackey.

"Of course! Please, go right ahead. I have to go and write up your forms, of course, but you can start right away," the man said, then took off in a sprint, bobbing side to side more than running. James thought he looked a little too pleased to have more employees.

Considering himself an educated man, James found the boss' easily trusting manner of organising his business quite surprising. Usually, they had to undergo the proper procedure and plan ahead of time their shifts. This man, while excitable, seemed too lax. Alola, itself, seemed too carefree, something that unnerved James slightly. It couldn't all be so tranquil.

Jessie swivelled on her tall heel. "See? Easy. Now we've got a small but steady income of money."

"It's a good start," James commented, trying to think positively against their limited knowledge of the wider world outside crime. They were indoctrinated into Team Rocket as young adults by Giovanni himself without having experienced jobs to ease them into society. James considered this their start.

"How did we get roped into selling doughnuts?" Meowth asked, pulling on an embarrassing cap of a pink and black Pokémon.

"You should be used to it by now…" James muttered, wanting to do anything else; they were in paradise, after all.

"Clemont! Professor Oak wants everything to be cleaned up around this area so we can fix the lab as early as possible! He says to hurry up!" Bonnie cried from her seat on a make-shift bench of wooden scaffolding, the type of wood Timburr constantly lugged under their arms. Professor Oak had ordered such materials only a few days after the incident, taking no time to mourn or grieve like the rest of them, to rebuild his lab.

"I'm the only one doing anything!" Clemont complained, widely gesturing the terrain empty of workers and full of wandering bystanders who were chatting quietly, moving pebbles effortlessly ever-so-often to please Oak whenever he emerged from his shadowed, rubble-littered office. Clemont picked up a rock and tossed it at larger one; such a childish action was all he was allowed to do to vent. "Get Serena and Calem to help out! Heck, get anyone to help! They're being so useless!"

"They're too busy fussing over each other!" Bonnie laughed, jumping to her feet and falling to a proposal knee as she'd done many times to embarrass her elder brother. This time, though, much to Clemont's pleasure, she mimicked Serena and Calem, a pair Clemont couldn't convince himself to accept together. "'Oh, Serena, you're hurt, let me kiss it better.' 'Oh, Calem, you're so kind.' I should go and eavesdrop on them!" Bonnie said, giggling, then she was off, unstealthily slinking behind the broken wall of the lab. Laughter indicated her sneaking had failed, and that they weren't working.

Clemont was and had been fed-up of everybody's attitudes ever since the incident. He was annoyed and had to question their human morals because they acted relatively normal despite the added heaviness of grief, enjoying themselves as normal, some in ways one wouldn't expect after such news.

May and Drew were the perfect examples, cuddling tightly and mumbling condolences when everyone was around and attentive, a performance that wasn't reflected in a scene Clemont exited the lab to one night. Intending on getting some fresh air to calm his restlessness, Clemont stormed back inside having glimpsed the devoted pair entangled with each other around the side of a tree, grappling their arms and legs and lips, kissing messily, tugging at whatever clothing wasn't already flung to the side or dangling from their shoulders. Clemont dunked his face under the shower hose for twenty minutes afterwards to try and cleanse the sight from his eyes. A make-out session definitely didn't correspond with sadness. Maybe that was their coping mechanism for grief, but Clemont was smarter than that.

He saw others too: Trip was smirking wherever he went, Bonnie, happy as ever, didn't understand the injustice, and everybody had created a black market auction for Ash's Pokémon. Trip was pleased to have received Torterra, one of the only ones to resist being given away, and Tracey had easily acquired the Tauros herd. It was sickening.

At the same time, Clemont had to question his own morals, too. He couldn't reason why he was even helping Oak when the man was the cause of ruin in his recent life. There were things Clemont wanted to do instead. Two things, specifically: find Brock, and apologise to Ash's mother. They're the only two ways he could perceive that would somehow allow redemption.

Maybe that attack was Arceus' way of making us pay for it…

Through a gap in a cracked wall, Clemont saw Serena and Calem sat beside one another, close enough to be in each other's laps, grinning like Gengar at Bonnie. It made Clemont angrily nauseous. He had realised naïvely late into their journey how infatuated Serena was with Ash, and he'd thought it was beautiful. How she had moved on as if Ash was nothing Clemont couldn't understand. Maybe she'd already forgotten about Ash, too engrossed in Calem. Maybe everybody had. Clemont knew he couldn't forget.

But Clemont didn't care about anybody else's decisions. They weren't important to him anymore. All he was looking for was a chance to escape from Oak's immobilising influence, the fearful thing that had caused Clemont's internal war, to visit Ash's house. Professor Oak had connections everywhere, powerful friends Clemont could only fear, such a wide sphere of power nobody could escape from unless they fled to the lost tropics out at sea. Coupling his contacts with blackmail guaranteed obedience, especially if the reason was to save the one the victim cared about the most.

Humans are disgusting… Clemont thought but quickly corrected himself, sighing. Ash wasn't… Maybe if Delia and Brock knew his predicament.

"Hey, Clemont! How're things goin' over here?" Calem asked, swaggering over with a wide grin, his arm tucked pointedly around Serena's slim waist, Bonnie bobbing at their side. Clemont looked him directly in his happy eyes, glared at his arm for a moment, then sighed.

"Fine," he bluntly replied, uncaring whether his attitude was evident. He turned his back, hoping Calem would realise not to continue pestering. He didn't; Calem's arm slapped Clemont's shoulder, pulling his frailer body around again.

"Listen… I'm really sorry, Clemont. I didn't know Ash, but I'd never wish that on anyone. I can see you're sad about it, so why don't you–"

"You can see I'm sad?! Of course, I'm sad; why wouldn't I be?! He was my best friend, and the last thing I did was betray him just to please some… some pathetic and selfish man who dedicated weeks to planning and ruining a teenager's life! A man who blackmailed me, who probably blackmailed more of us, into helping out his scheme–"

"Wait a sec, we weren't blackmailed–" Calem tried to argue, innocently questioning Bonnie and Serena with his grey eyes. The latter couldn't seem to meet his eye for the first time since Clemont had seen them together.

"Just stop. Please. Ash is gone. We – We can't change that. I'm gonna hate myself forever because of it. And I don't mean to sound as petty a person as Oak, but you can't fill Ash's shoes in our group."

"Clemont–" Serena breathed weakly, desperately.

"No, shut up! You were one of the ones hesitant to betray Ash, yeah, but you don't even realise you'd already done it! He loved you, Serena, more than he'd ever shown! Arceus, you kissed him! And then you return with another guy, some stranger you've only spent about a week or two with! That's probably what hurt the most, more even than whatever killed him! Love is such a powerful emotion, you know, but it's like a double-edged blade. Any type of love is beautiful, but there's always that risk of being hurt because of it, isn't there? Love is both happiness and ruin, and causes one just as much as the other!" Clemont shouted. "I won't let you replace him. Nobody can," Clemont said, spinning around and walking away, leaving the trio stood beside the rubble, calling after him.

Clemont didn't care what they thought of him anymore, even Bonnie. He didn't care if Serena was in tears again, or if Calem hated him. The new couple was lost to him. Maybe in the past, he'd been a weak, feeble geek, but losing Ash had changed him, and he felt good about finally expressing himself as he'd just done.

As Ash formed new bonds in Alola, his old ones, as strong in believed-death as in life, arrived in Kanto. The plane from Sinnoh to Kanto landed at the dawn of dusk – Barry had raved for the entire flight about how he'd fine Oak and everyone there when he saw them, for a whopping ten-million Poké. Paul told him to 'shut the hell up' after the first hour, peeved at his childishness.

Dawn, Gary, Barry, and Paul exited the airport into Viridian City, wherein an old man sat on a bench sipping an espresso, and the Pokémon had returned to the forests. Everything appeared normal again. Getting closer, though, they saw that it wasn't.

They headed into the dark tree line that seemed ominous now and towards Pallet Town. The forest atmosphere held a cautiousness that Gary had never felt before. The purple Ratatta were stalking around trees rather than scampering quickly through the long grass, watching, as if frightened of everything, instead of fighting, and the Beedrill hoards were docile, buzzing quietly between the green leaves that'd lost their emerald lustre to a sickly lifeless green. The wild Pokémon were so denatured it was disturbing.

Taking a shortcut to Oak's ranch Gary remembered, clambering out through the brush, Gary's emotions warred in him. He felt sadness at the loss of his home after seeing the ruins and regret he hadn't been there to protect it, disbelief of everything, but, most significantly, anger at what he saw. Bodies like ambling zombies trudged around the area, many of which Gary recognised as Ash's old friends and Pokémon, all except Snorlax who was beside the pond likely asleep – Gary wouldn't have been surprised if he'd stayed asleep throughout the attack, too durable with its mountainous frame to be injured.

Stepping over the stile, Gary stared at the hoard of Ash's ex-friends that must have agreed to his grandfather's plan where he and the other three had rigidly resisted. The face that shocked him the most was Misty; she and Ash had become such close friends throughout of their journey together that he couldn't imagine a reason she'd agree to betray him. He could see silhouettes in the lab's foyer through a hole in the wall, meaning there were more people present than were currently outside; Gary was livid so many had turned up. Those that weren't cradled in slings and casts were half-heartedly helping move rubble and, as ever, Oak just stood in the centre like some sort of oppressor, lashing orders to everyone without remorse or grief. Gary saw a blonde boy stalk away from Oak, who didn't seem to care; he looked as high-strung as if nothing had happened.

As if Ash was nothing.

As if Ash was nothing… Gary stamped ahead of his small group, his head hanging low, his shoulders swaying, the trio's confused voices questioning him turned to white noise by the angry raising tempo of his thumping heart he could feel beat wrathfully in his ears.

Oak noticed his blatant approach and frowned. "Gary. You're home–" Oak plainly started as if deeming Gary's presence as intrusive, but Gary ignored him and lunged forwards, roaring. Putting his heart in his hand, Gary punched his grandfather directly in the jaw, knocking him harshly to the ground.

"Gary!" Dawn gasped, and Paul barrelled forwards spurred by her cry, grabbing the enraged teen before he could advance any further and continue pummelling his grandfather. Gary kicked out, barely missing Oak's head.

"Stop!" Paul bellowed into Gary's ear, grunting as he tussled with the violent struggling. Barry jumped forwards to seize Gary's other flailing arm a moment after the shellshock.

Gary struggled hard, and the pair had to move with almost the Quick Feet ability to dodge his thrashing. "You traitorous piece of crap!" Gary thrust an elbow at Barry, who yelped as his head swished luckily to the side of it. "How could you?! He was your best pupil, he trusted you more than anyone else!" Gary spat, pushing harder against Paul. "You were all his friends! He did so much for you! You – let go of me, Paul – you – Ekans! All of you!" Finally breaking free of the tight hold by fortuitously jabbing their ankles, Gary charged for Oak again; everybody was too stunned to stop him.

Gary never reached the floored professor, though. A strong force effortlessly, calmly pulled him back by his shirt's collar.

"Let me go–" Gary said, strangled, turning to see his restrainer who he thought was Paul again. But it wasn't Paul. "Dad!"

"Hey, Gary. Hate to reunite like this, but what the hell is going on?!" he asked, releasing his son. Gary was seething as he glared Oak down, flapping the edge of his shirt to straighten the creases, tousling his hair that had dishevelled itself.

"They betrayed him, Dad! Just before he died, they told him to give up being a trainer! Didn't you?! Admit it!" Gary shouted, anger and grief straining his voice.

"What? You mean Ash?" Blue asked, his voice angering too.

"Yeah!" Gary yelled. His grandfather began to stand up, and he desperately wanted to charge him again, but his dad was a tough blockade, holding him back with a hand against his chest, against his heart.

Blue turned to Samuel. Oak glared back, almost as if initiating a duel where they each had to quick draw, see who could get their Pokémon out first. Blue, being the bigger man, dropped his gaze and sighed, folding his arms. "You know, Dad, I only came here to let you know I'm going on a trip to tell someone about Ash–"

"What?!" Oak cried, alarmed as if guessing who Blue was talking about.

"–and to ask you to look after Gary while his mother and sister are in the hospital but–"

"What?!" Gary cried this time.

"Yeah, it happened in the attack," Blue calmly said, scanning everyone simultaneously, then Ash's Pokémon. "Ash came home so excited to see everyone. Man, he was basically in heaven! It was great, friendly, something I loved to see after… Nevermind. When I heard the news, I'd have come right over, but I've been at the hospital for the past few days waiting to see if Yellow and Daisy are ok, people I actually care about. Gary was in Sinnoh, so I knew he was fine. I wish I hadn't now, having come back to this farse. You messed the hell up, Dad." Blue brushed a stressed hand through his hair, spiking it upwards a little more. "I'm leaving on that short trip. When we get back – because there will be two of us– we'll talk about this properly, Dad. Gary, could ya stick around? Take care of your mother and sister?

"Of course!" Gary said firmly, a feeling of duty falling upon him. He'd do anything for his father, who he hadn't seen in so long. He couldn't wait to sit down and have a real heart-to-heart with him.

"And don't let your grandfather leave Pallet," Blue added.

Gary hardened a glare. "My pleasure."

Samuel retreated a few steps, huffed, then spun around, his lab-coat Dracula's cape, and stomped back into the lab, followed by his obedient cohort. The only one that remained outside was a blonde boy Gary didn't recognise, who stood tensely still, his jumpsuit patched with mud and dust. Gary stared him down with surprise rather than anger, almost admiring his gall to remain there having seen their collective vexation.

"I'm sorry…" he quietly said before running off into what was once Pallet Town. After he was gone, it was just the five of them, stood in amongst the dissipating anger.

"Phew," Blue whistled, "nice punch."

Gary, as his grandfather had announced him, had done the same thing to Clemont that Brock had; he made him feel significantly worse about what he'd done. He hoped meeting up with Brock and Delia would do the opposite. Thankfully, Gary's interruption allowed him to escape.

Clemont followed the directions to Ash's house he'd once been told when they'd discussed visiting. He found the white-walled house that Ash had so fondly described to him easily, seeing as it was the only building remaining in the flattened town.

Clemont stood at the door with sweaty palms, rehearsing different ways to apologise in his head before he could cluster the courage to knock and face the undeniable wrath that he so deserved from either Brock or Delia. Clemont quickly decided he'd have to apologise directly, outright, beg if he had to, any way to let them hear his story, his version of events. They had to know.

Putting his shaky hand to the wood, Clemont, terrified, knocked on the door with three quick clacks. Footsteps thundered on the other side, and the door swung open, Brock appearing behind it, his expression quickly souring.

"What do you want?" Brock demanded furiously, squinting fiercely, moving into the door frame to block it like an unmoveable rock wall.

"I'm sorry!" Clemont shouted, bowing his head as low as he could. "I'm a coward, a complete fool! I'm a terrible person! What I did to Ash is unforgivable, and I can't do anything to make up for it! I'm sorry! I don't expect forgiveness. I only want a chance to explain my side of the story to you!" Clemont quickly said in a jumble of forced words. The tears came immediately, his admittance of his own inadequacies worsening them.

"W-What?" Brock asked, his cracking voice betraying his hardened eyes.

"Who is it, Brock?" Delia asked, walking up behind his shoulder.

Clemont flung himself upwards from his bow, catching Delia's eyes for the first time in person; she was a beautiful woman, he thought, with the same eyes as Ash. "Mrs Ketchum…" Clemont respectfully muttered, his voice feeble and quiet.

"Clemont…" Delia muttered back sympathetically, just as a mother's tone would be when doting her child.

"He was with the group that betrayed Ash," Brock notified, but Delia didn't seem to care. She lightly moved Brock's arm and wrapped her arms around Clemont in a tight hug. Clemont didn't respond. It'd been a long time since he'd felt such a hearty hug, and he couldn't help feeling he was in his mother's arms.

Clemont numbly followed her as she guided him into the comfort of Ash's house, into the living room, and down onto the settee. Delia handed him some tissues.

"Thank you…" he meekly responded.

"That's alright, Clemont," Delia said, adjusting her dress as she sat down opposite, beside Brock who impatiently beat his foot against the ground. Clemont didn't blame his distrust. He'd have been just as annoyed if somebody that had betrayed his best friend appeared before him begging a chance. Clemont was only thankful Delia was so benevolent, full of ambiguity. "Clemont, can I ask you why you've come over?"

Clemont nodded, wiping his eyes quickly. "Yes, sorry. I'm really sorry, Mrs Ketchum. I failed Ash. I couldn't stand up to Oak…"

"What do you mean?" Brock asked carefully. His tone had fallen to a calmer beat that Clemont appreciated.

"I'm sorry… I could've stuck up for Ash when they all… But I didn't do it. I couldn't. Oak's influence… You don't know how truly terrifying he can be," Clemont said.

"What do you mean, Clemont?" Delia repeated for Brock. "Take a deep breath, and tell us all that happened."

"O-Ok…" Clemont muttered, doing as she said. He shakily explained, "B-Bonnie and I received a call from Professor Oak just before Ash left Kalos, a-and he said it was to throw a surprise party for Ash. Of course, we wanted to be a part of that so we agreed and flew over before Ash would, thinking we were two weeks, a-week-and-a-half ahead of him. Nobody knew he was leaving early – we thought he was taking his time off to explore a little more on his own. We got to Kanto and went to Oak's lab. When we got there, all of Ash's friends were there, all looking happy and pleased with themselves. We met Serena, who… who had found a boyfriend in a week over in Hoenn. I found out the next day."

Delia gasped, clasping her hand over her mouth. "No… And Ash had just told me his feelings for her…"

"I-I was just as shocked. The same day we arrived, Oak approached us all and told us his plan: to make Ash stop being a Pokémon trainer. Many agreed or were undecided because of his convincing pitch about it being for Ash's benefit. Only a few of us outright disagreed. Serena and I were two of them. I think another of them was called Misty, and lastly, there was someone named Ritchie. With only the four of us, we were overwhelmed. I wanted to leave. Later that night, Oak talked to the four of us that disagreed. He-He… said that, if I didn't agree, he'd hurt Bonnie, my sister…" Clemont answered. Delia gasped again, and Brock drew a sharp breath.

"That little–" he began, but Delia placed a hand on Brock's knee to calm him.

"He threatened your little sister?" Delia softly asked.

"Yes. I thought nothing of his threat at first. I planned to leave with Bonnie and ignore him. But then, after he'd talked with Ritchie, who came out shouting at Oak in disagreement, Ritchie was sent to the hospital an hour later with severe injuries. When I woke up the next morning, Bonnie was trying to patch herself up because she'd somehow gotten a large cut on her shoulder overnight."

"He didn't!" Brock yelled, jumping to his feet as if preparing to charge out of the door.

Clemont shrugged. "I couldn't think of anything else to do. I had to follow his orders, or Bonnie would've gotten hurt really badly… I'm sorry, I know that doesn't excuse what happened, but I–" Clemont stopped when he felt somebody grab onto him in a tight hug. He expected it to be Delia, but the deep whimpering wasn't her voice. It was Brock.

"No! Don't say that, Clemont! You did the right thing, no matter how hard it was!" Brock said, pulling Clemont to arm's length. "I have many siblings, and I can see why you had to. I get it entirely, don't apologise. I was as close to Ash as I am my true siblings, so it would have been a heart-wrenching decision for me. If you're that close to your sister, you did what you thought was right!" Brock preached.

Relieved he wasn't reproached by them, Clemont sighed deeply. Brock grabbed his shoulder comfortingly. Delia remained quiet on the settee, watching them.

"Don't worry, Clemont," Brock said, wiping his eyes, "we're going to get your sister out of there."