Chapter 4

Leaves Turning

The trees were ablaze all over Tokyo, and when a wind blew, if felt like the sky was crying tears of red, gold and orange. Autumn in Japan was one of the most beautiful seasons and his favorite one. Looking out the large plate glass window fronting his desk, Irie Naoki ran both hands through his hair – as if that would soothe the throbbing headache that had been plaguing him all day. The headache never seemed to leave him these days he realized, and with a grimace, an unbidden memory came to mind bringing a bitter smile to his face— whatever happened to that horrid head massager that she…that that girl had once given him for Christmas? Naoki typically nipped reminisces like those in the bud — they were of no use to him for he had chosen his path. His mouth twisted, and he mentally laughed at himself. When had it gotten so hard to even think of her name?

With the announcement of the Oizumi-Irie engagement, even without the actual infusion of the Oizumi cash into the business, Pandai's business had steadily improved. The businessmen who had been wary of investing in a company made shaky by news of Irie Shigeki's health issues, the young and untested new CEO and the decline in business due to Pandai's failure to produce a hit product in the last two years had begun to come around again. The Oizumi name carried a lot of weight in the business community and if Oizumi zaibatsu was willing to invest in Pandai, other investors were willing to follow suit.

Of course there were many cynical remarks that Oizumi had not so much as bought shares in Pandai, but rather had bought a groom for his granddaughter. But still, arranged marriages for business alliances were not uncommon even in these modern times and most people agreed that Irie Naoki and Oizumi Sahoko were, at least physically and from all outward appearances, well matched.

Tonan University was abuzz with the news for a time – with a small but vocal minority which expressed outrage for Aihara Kotoko. The rest were merely entertained – at least until the society pages stopped reporting on Irie Naoki and Oizumi Sahako - the editor complaining that there was really nothing to report as neither put a foot wrong, never did anything interesting and behaved always as they were expected to.

And like all things, as the days passed, the tragic comedy that had been the Aihara-Irie non-romance had been forgotten by most.

Ironically, the Iries had not actually touched any of the money offered by Chairman Oizumi — it remained in escrow in the Pandai account because for the moment, the inflow of cash from the new investors had been sufficient to start the process of turning the business around. But despite the improvement in the business, it was hard going and to spare his father the stress despite Shigeo's recovery, Irie Naoki had taken on more and more of his duties — first out of necessity, and then eventually because he realized that if he worked hard enough and long enough, he would fall in bed into a deep, dreamless sleep with no time for sadness or self doubt or regret — nor would he have to put up with his mother's chastisement, his father's skeptical looks and Yuki's silent but troubling questioning expression.

Irie Noriko had started off in tears and hysterics and dramatic outbursts after the Aiharas had left their home, alternating between begging Naoki not to go through with the wedding and demanding that he bring Kotoko back. After Naoki's father had intervened, she had stopped berating Naoki and had subsided into a combination of resignation and silent reproach.

Although Naoki knew she corresponded with Kotoko, he was too proud to ask for information - and on the rare occasions that Noriko received a letter from the girl, she would take seemingly malicious pleasure in dropping tantalizing bits of information within Naoki's hearing. To these he presented the same stoic face of indifference as if he didn't care - and yet he would store each word as if they were nuggets of gold and he, a miser saving each bit that he could to be pondered over and examined in detail in the darkness of what had been her old room.

After Kotoko had moved out, he had told his mother that he was taking over what had been Yuki's old room, on the pretext that it would be less disruptive for Yuki to change rooms once again.

He did not know why he had done that , only that it seemed to be the only place in his world where he could get a good night's sleep.

At times when Noriko's hurtful words became too much even for him, Naoki wished he could snap at her – to tell her of that day when like a fool he had chased after Aihara Kotoko and how he had, for the first time in his life, failed at something. But even as he had left Fugoyoshi that day with Kinnosuke's bitter, derisive laughter still ringing in his ears as he had been told that she was gone and didn't wish to be found, and especially not by him.

And how he had realized that even if he had found her, he was unsure why he was looking for her or what he would offer her — Pandai would still be in trouble, he would still need to marry Oizumi Sahoko and his life was still set in front of him like a long, straight unwavering road - a long, straight, unwavering and EMPTY road that stretched endlessly before him. At times he wished to shout at his mother – telling her that she had no words, no names that could be worse than those he had already called himself.

That she could not hurt him with her reproaches because he was empty.

Irie Naoki was ever the pragmatist — and as such, he consoled himself that emptiness was better than pain. And being the rational man that he was, Naoki had almost convinced himself that the emptiness could be filled by work, until one day, if he worked hard enough for it, the emptiness could be filled by Oizumi Sahoko, if he only tried hard enough to learn how to love her.

(It was only occasionally in the past year when maybe out of the corner of his eye, his gaze would inadvertently be caught by a flash of pink, or when he heard a tinkling laugh, or when he thought he had caught a glimpse of a familiar face — that the emptiness would rear it's head and Irie Naoki would stop and remind himself that he alone was responsible, that he himself had chosen the empty nothingness that was the life he had now. Once he had turned swiftly around with a smile, when he felt a small had clasp his sleeve, only to be disappointed that it was a girl who had accidentally held on to him as the train swerved. Or once when thought he heard someone trip on the stairs - rushing out of her, now his, room half asleep - until he realized that she was gone.)

For the last year since his Yuino, Naoki had practically been living at the office, returning home only very late every night to shower and sleep and then leaving very early the next morning before anyone was awake. His life revolved only around work and the routine broken only when he was gently reminded to make an appearance at one or other cocktail party, art exhibit or concert that Sahoko wished to attend.

Sahoko of course, as expected of the perfect fiancée, never said a word of complaint, although her feelings were made very clear through her grandfather who would regularly remind Naoki that he should be taking more active interest in planning the wedding, that he needed to spend time with his intended, and that he needed to escort Sahoko to various society functions. And of course, despite his work schedule or even the fact that these events never held any particular interest to Naoki, it was very clear that he was being told, not being asked.

No one knew that the piper had to be paid somehow more than Irie Naoki himself.

His office overlooked a large park — the Hamarikyu gardens — one of those oases of green that were like hidden gems in the concrete megalith that was Tokyo. And from his office he could see the golds and scarlets of the trees, and the silver ribbon that was the Sumida river beyond. For a few minutes, Naoki just sat quietly enjoying the view until a discreet knock disturbed his peace and his secretary entered.

"Irie-San?"

"Yes Mamiya-San?" He asked the kindly elder lady – she was actually his father's secretary and had known him since he was a little boy.

"It's 6 pm. Chairman Oizumi's secretary called to have me remind you that you are escorting Miss Sahoko at the Four Seasons for the benefit gala tonight. They have delivered clothes for you change into — shall I bring it in?"

"Why do I need to change? I still need to finish going through these reports…" Naoki asked, looking at the pile of unread documents on his desk. To be honest, he had completely forgotten about the gala as Sahoko seemed to always have one or another scheduled. He hated these events, feeling like a show pony being paraded around to the Oizumi's many wealthy society friends, he hated the monotonous stream of polite conversation he had to make and the amount of time he had to spend with people he cared little for when he would much rather have been at home trying to catch up on the precious commodity that was sleep nowadays.

"I'm sorry Irie-San, the secretary made sure to inform me that you have to wear this — I believe the colours will match Miss Sahoko's kimono and her mother was most explicit in her instructions." Mrs. Mamiya said, almost apologetically. While she had known Naoki since he was a child and knew that he had always been quiet and serious, it seemed as if in the last months he had grown even more so — and although he was always polite and courteous, she couldn't remember the last time she had seen him smile or speak of anything other than business.

Naoki nodded resignedly and got up, wearily walking toward the bathroom which was en suite to his office – he had 30 minutes to dress and another 30 minutes to pick up Sahako and drive to the hotel. She was always very punctual and though she said nothing on the rare occasions that he was late, he knew she was displeased. And certainly, he would always hear about it the next morning from her Grandfather or her mother would call on some polite pretext or another.

"Arigato Mamiya-san, I'll take a quick shower and change. Please bring the clothing in and leave them near the bathroom. You may go home for the evening."

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Naoki arrived at the Oizumi mansion just in time, parking the car int eh expansive driveway, he rung the bell and a uniformed servant opened the door.

"Miss Sahoko is waiting for you Irie-san would you like to come in?"

"No thank you, I believe we are expected at the benefit at 7, can you kindly let Sahoko-San know that I am here?" Naoki replied, he just wanted to leave as soon as possible and didn't relish even the requisite 15 minutes of stilted conversation he would have to bear with Sahoko's parents and grandfather should he make the strategic error of coming in.

A few minutes later, Sahoko emerged from the house and politely greeting Naoki allowed herself to assisted into his car. As expected, she was impeccably dressed and as Mamiya-San had advised him, the muted colours of his kimono matched the tie and cummerbund that she had sent to his office.

"You look very nice Sahoko-San." Naoki said, not noticing that her smile had become a bit stiff.

"Nice?"

"You always look very nice." He said, glancing at her. "Is that a new kimono?"

"I wore it last to our Yuino, don't you remember Naoki-san?" She responded, keeping her gaze fixed upon the road ahead.

"My apologies." Naoki said politely (though if his life depended on it, he could not have described this or any of her dozens of other outfits). "It has been a stressful week."

"Tomorrow night we have another dinner to attend. Shall I expect you at the same time or should I make arrangements to have the driver drop me off?" Sahoko asked. If she had not reminded him personally, she was worried Naoki would "forget" — although with an eidetic memory, she wondered how this could be possible.

"Is it really necessary for me to be there?" Naoki asked, though his voice was even, the truth was that he was bit annoyed — he had never been a social butterfly and all of Sahoko's engagements were not only wearing on him but also boring him to death.

"The dinner is with the wedding planner." Sahoko said, casting a sidelong glance at Naoki – but if she had been hoping for some reaction, a flicker of interest if not excitement, she was disappointed for his face was set in its usual impassive expression. "My family expects you to be there."

"I see." Was his only response.

"My parents would like for us to have a spring wedding. Sometime in March of next year — they said it would give us enough time to prepare. And Mother thinks the cherry blossoms will be in season." Sahoko added. "My mother has booked the Four Seasons for the reception – the same ballroom we are going to tonight."

"That's nice Sahoko." Naoki responded, casting a polite sideways smile at her.

"And Grandfather has said we should spare no expense – so Mother has already ordered my kimono for me — or would you like me to wear a western style wedding dress instead? She said the kimono would be better and a traditional cere…." Sahako narrated, only to be interrupted by Naoki.

"And how about you Sahoko-san, what would you prefer?" Naoki asked.

"Ah well — my mother is acknowledged for her brilliant parties and her impeccable taste, I am happy to follow her advice. But if you have a preference on what you would like me to wear, I could also adjust to that." She replied, a bit taken aback by his question.

"I see." Naoki replied – wondering why suddenly he felt the perverse desire to question all the choices. It sounded like the perfect society wedding. Why did he have such a heavy feeling? Perhaps it was just the stress of work piling up. He should feel...no, he was….he was relieved…happy…that he did not need to deal with these details.

"The wedding planner has already presented a project plan for a traditional ceremony — we will have the ceremony at The Meiji shrine and the reception at the Four Seasons."

"That sounds…nice." Naoki.

"And you Naoki-san, do you have any preference?" Sahoko asked, wishing that her fiancée would show a bit more interest.

"No. I leave it up to you and your mother Sahoko-San, I am sure whatever you decide will be quite suitable."

Sahoko nodded graciously and remained silent for the rest of the trip — while Naoki blessed the silence and wished his headache would go away.

And though he wished with his whole heart that he could be muster up some enthusiasm for the wedding, the only thing that remained with him was the mention of sakura and spring — and he recalled a small girl, twirling around in a small nondescript park near his home, supremely delighted by the cheap thrill of a shower of sakura petals that were falling in the afternoon breeze.

The couple arrived at the Four Seasons and quickly made their way into the party. Allowing himself to be led around and introduced by Sahoko like the trophy that he was, Irie Naoki made polite, inane conversation wishing he were anywhere but here in this overly heated room, heavy with the clashing of too many different expensive perfumes, the patter of pointless conversation ebbing and flowing around him until he felt like he was drowning. To be fair, he thought, he also paraded Sahoko around like a trophy during the business functions he had to attend, so turnabout was fair play. She was certainly decorative, and the presence of the Oizumi heiress by his side impressed business associates and rivals alike.

(It was not a marriage of convenience for nothing.)

Excusing himself from Sahoko and her current conversation partner, yet another perfectly dressed and coiffed hothouse beauty with the same rarified background as her, Naoki left in search of a drink. He was about to reach for the last flute of champagne when a slender hand reached for it at the same time.

"Gomen, go ahead and take it please." He said politely, not really looking.

"Irie Naoki?" A somewhat familiar voice asked in surprised tones.

Properly taking a look at the young woman before him, Naoki realized it was Kotoko's friend Satomi.

"Good evening Ishikawa-san." Naoki greeted her politely, "How are you?"

"I am well thank you. And it is Takamiya now — Ryo-san and I got married. " she said looking over with a fond smile at someone in the distance.

"Omedeto." Naoki said, quite at a loss for words. "Are you still at Tonan?"

"Yes, I will start my last year in the spring actually."

"And your friends?" Naoki ask, wishing he could just be direct. "They are well too?"

"They are well too." Satomi replied.

She wondered if he was trying to get news of Kotoko and her heart hardened.

Satomi had been shocked when she had first seen Irie initially – he was still handsome of course, but his face was drawn and he seemed to have lost a lot of weight - but what had changed so dramatically were his eyes. Though he always had am impassive face, Irie Naoki used to have the most expressive eyes – they used to flicker and dance when he was secretly laughing at you, burn cold looking at you with disdain or blazing with annoyance when you angered him - she remembered more than one time having been on the receiving end of one of his impassioned glares and how it had intimidated her.

But now, the girl noticed, the only way she could describe them was…that they were dead. Empty and dead.

"Jinko is graduating in a year and she's applying to work in the music industry, Kin-chan is of course apprenticed to Aihara-san. But it's not really us you're interested in is it?" She said, somewhat waspishly.

Naoki was silent, though for a moment, a brief flash of his old self appeared in his eyes.

"Kotoko is fine, if you are interested. She just left Tokyo, probably for good — and I suppose we should actually thank you — if you hadn't sold yourself to that woman, Kotoko would still be here pining her life away for nothing. But she's changed so much in the past year and is happy now, REALLY happy for the first time since she met you and you messed up her life. So arigato gozaimas I suppose." Satomi continued with a sardonic smile and bow — part of her revelling in this rare, unexpected opportunity to finally speak her mind to Irie Naoki.

Finally running out of steam, Satomi could not however resist one last dig before turning away.

"Your fiancée appears to be looking for you — I think it's time for you to start earning your pay again."

Then she walked away without a background glance.

Naoki didn't respond — logically, he thought, he should be angry. But then again, how could he be when she was right?

And with a sigh, he too turned and made his way to Sahoko, wondering how soon they could politely leave and promising himself he would make more of an effort to get to know his fiancee and spend time with her.

Much later in the car, Naoki decided he would keep his promise.

"I just realized I have some free time on Tuesday, would you like to spend the afternoon with me?" He asked Sahako.

"That would be lovely Naoki-San!" She said animatedly, then her face fell. "Oh..but I have an ikebana class with my mother that afternoon…"

"Ah, I see. Could you not cancel it?" he asked

(Part of him remembering a girl who would have cancelled anything and everything just to spend time with him no matter how inane or simple the activity, a girl who would have been happy just to walk to the kombini with him to buy cheap canned coffee).

"Mother…would be upset…and it is with Mitzusaka-sensei — she is very famous and only rarely gives these classes…" Sahoko explained, weighing her choices. "Perhaps I could meet you after the class? Was there somewhere in particular you would like to go?"

In truth, he had nothing planned — it would have been nice to go somewhere casual for it seemed like everywhere he and Sahoko went had to be some sort of "event", full of the same faces, talking about the same things.

"Well there is an autumn festival in Ueno Park — perhaps we can go to the zoo, then go around the festival in the Park and stay for the fireworks?" He suggested.

"Really Naoki-san? This isn't like you at all…I didn't realize you enjoyed such..common things? Wouldn't it be hot and crowded and full of people? I don't really like crowds…but if you wish to go, I will go." Sahoko replied.

"It's fun occasionally…what gave you the idea that I didn't?" He asked curiously.

(Although now that he thought about it, perhaps it had been an ill-advised idea – trying to imagine Sahoko eating food from the stalls or catching goldfish with a net. And failing.)

"I don't know. Grandfather said that you would like symphonies and the opera and the theatre I suppose…And mother always made the reservations for us..I thought you liked the restaurants we went to and the art exhibits…" Sahoko explained.

"Do you WANT to go?" He asked her.

(And uninvited, a small face with doe eyes sparkling in delight fought its way into his mind's eye. SHE would not have hesitated and he almost laughed aloud, thinking that if it had been HER, the most likely scenario would have been that SHE would have found out about the festival and dragged him to attend.)

"Ah…whatever would make Naoki-San happy of course." Sahoko replied, giving him a small smile. "I would just need to speak with Mother about missing the class… we enrolled for this months ago so I am afraid she will be disappointed."

"Never mind Sahoko-San" Naoki said with a sigh, "I am sure you will enjoy the ikebana class more."

"Arigato Naoki-San…it's just that I don't want to disappoint mother…"

"It's fine." He said, assuring her (although wondering if when he married her, he would be marrying her mother as well?).

"I'm sure it will be nice." He added, trying to reassure her.

Nice.

That was what the rest of his life would be like.

Nice.

It was with relief that they soon reached the Oizumi mansion and Naoki got out to escort Sahoko to the door. She turned her face up to him — and she was lovely to look at, like a perfect porcelain doll — and he knew that she was waiting for him to kiss her.

It had been a year since they were formally engaged – and while it would have not surprised anyone in this day and age that a engaged couple would have been a bit more physical, the truth was that Naoki and Sahoko had not. There were the occasional kisses on the cheek — and occasionally they would hold hands — but that was the extent of it.

He supposed it would have been nice, but he did not know why he didn't kiss her. Instead, he wished her good night and left for home, his head still pounding from the headache that never seemed to go away anymore.

AUTHOR'S NOTE : Thank you for the reviews! I am glad you are still here reading this story. This chapter was a bit heavy to write - but I always wondered how Naoki felt. This part is set 1 year after Kotoko left the Irie home and just after she leaves for Kyoto.

So - more of Kotoko next chapter. Please review - I would love to hear what you think of this version of Naoki.

DISCLAIMER: I own this plot and this story - no infringement of Itazura Na Kiss is intended.