When the Brush hits the Canvas

by HelenTheMoon

Art can be used for many things. It is the depiction of beauty, the most impactful statement, or perhaps even the fantasy of another, dark reality. A dark world. A dark kingdom. LBW Novelisation. Irregular updates. Please read and review! Chapter 11 up.

11. Thieves' Town

14.247 words. Longest chapter I've ever written about anything. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own The Legend of Zelda.

---

Chapter 11

Thieves' Town

Partially relying on the map he found and partially on memory, Link took the beaten path that he took in his own Hyrule so many times before, the short route from the blacksmith's house to what should be the south entrance of Kakariko village. Granted, he had to fight one of those Hinox monsters in the way – Link was actually astonished that the monsters did not attack the smithy, maybe they avoided settlements? – but soon he was at what looked like Kakariko village's Lorule replica.

With all that implied.

The village was a wreck. The sign at the south entrance had been torn apart by who knows what and the letters on it were ineligible from the tear and wear it had suffered. The streets were well-paved but dirty, overgrown with moss, and several tiles were cracked from years of neglect. Link could make out many of those rock-mushroom buildings, but just as many places that were ruined. Even in the buildings that were still intact, all the grass – or whatever was left of it – was dry and many bushes were torn, leaving those strange wildflowers growing everywhere.

He was also hearing chanting from somewhere. And it was not from the Poes. Yes, there were Poes here too. This place felt almost just as bad as the graveyard in Hyrule. In fact, there might be a hidden graveyard here for all he knew. He instinctively cut down one as it tried to sneak up behind him.

But at any rate, he could hear voices. Human voices. Chanting something that made no sense. The smoke lingered in the air stronger than ever, making Link suspect there was an active fire nearby. Maybe a pyre?

Wait… was that a tavern?

There was indeed a large building right in front of him, in the exact same place that Kakariko village had the Milk Bar. It was of a similar size too, and he could see the windows were lit.

Then again, as he learned by the house on the hill, lit windows was not a guarantee that there were people inside… And more importantly, what kind of people were they? He saw how those at the smithy were. He saw the endless piles of complaints and Hilda's office and that house. And he could still hear that creepy chanting coming from the other side of the village. Was walking in here even worth it?

Still, he had to gather information. He had to find a way to move around Lorule, or maybe even go back to Hyrule. And he would not get that information just by standing here contemplating the windows.

Link walked at the entrance and stepped it.

He blinked a few times waiting for his eyesight to adjust; it was surprisingly dark in there. Once they did however he was greeted by another surprise.

It looked… cozy.

The lighting was low but felt warmer than the outside, and there were people inside. He could make out a couple of men and a woman in the back with instruments in their hands, there was a man manning the counter, and even a few customers sitting around. All in all, it looked like a perfectly normal bar.

Well, it was not all sunshine and roses. As Link stepped in the strong scent of alcohol became really obvious; Link wondered if that was where that blacksmith got his supply from. Most likely it was. Despite being in one piece, the place smelt filthy, and there was something …tense in the atmosphere. The barkeep had a look that Link could only describe as vicious, like he expected someone to steal from him. There was a man at the counter wearing an outfit incredibly similar to Hyrule's Royal Guard uniform, only in purple and far dirtier. There were stacks of paper nailed on the wall; somehow Link got the feeling that their contents were not any more pleasant than the other stacks of paper he had seen in Lorule so far.

The barkeep only threw him a passing glance as he walked in, but Link was sure he was being examined. He did not mind, anyone would take a second look at an armed stranger walking in.

Should he talk to him? Or should he approach someone else?

Approaching the drunkards would do him no good, he could already tell. It would not go any better than it did with the man at the smithy. He also really did not want to talk to the man sitting at the counter. If Link's guess was right and that was a Royal Guard uniform, then telling him that "Hilda sent me" or something along these lines would be a bad idea. He did not look like the most dutiful of people. That left the musicians and the barkeep, and the way the barkeep was glaring at him…

Actually, he was standing here for a while. He really should talk to the barkeep or else he would look even more suspicious.

So Link approached. He opened his mouth and…

"Hello." Oh goddesses, what was he even supposed to ask? 'Sorry for bothering you, but Princess Hilda that I know all of you hate asked me to find some magic paintings, have you seen any of them floating by here in the last few hours'? There was no way that would work.

"What do you want, kid?"

"I'm looking for some missing paintings." Oh goddesses, he blurted it out. At least it did not come out as badly as it did in his head.

"Ask the thieves."

Eh?

Link followed the barkeep's pointed thumb to the group of musicians.

Thieves?

"Um, thank you."

The barkeep grunted.

Thieves. Alright then. It made sense, he guessed. He just had to keep an eye out on his wallet. He was certain he could catch up with anyone that tried to get away with his stuff. He had the Pegasus Boots after all. That he got from a thief. Everything was fine.

Now that Link could take a better look at the musicians, one of them was wearing very weird face paint, kind of like a clown…

Yes, everything was fine.

The bard and apparent thief seemed to take notice of Link just now. "Hello, there! Haven't seen you before? New in Thieves' Town?"

"This place is called Thieves' Town? Seriously?" blurted out Link.

The bard laughed. "Yeah, it is! Didn't you read the sign?"

"If you mean the one at the south entrance, whatever was written on that has faded away." He had not seen any signs other than that, at any rate.

The bard blinked, clearly taken aback. "Oh, uh… Never noticed that. Guess somebody's got to fix that… maybe… Heh, doesn't matter. Hey, since you're new, met the boss of our little village here?"

Link shook his head "no".

The bard laughed in response. "Yeah, he wouldn't waste time on someone like you. You don't look like much."

Link decided not to take offense to that. He did not want to be much of a big deal anyway.

…Actually he did, but not like that.

"Where's the boss?" At least, that way Link could avoid him. He did not want trouble with a whole village of thieves.

"He's busy stashing away that new painting of he's got. Thing must be worth a fortune…"

...!

"Where is it?"

The bard edged away, clearly taken aback. "Wow kid-"

The "kid" did not care. "Where. Is it."

"Listen kid-"

"I won't ask again."

The longer the thief was staring at him the more Link was losing his patience. He could feel everyone's eyes on him. He did not have the time for this. It was one of the Sages he had to get it back now-

Slowly, his hand reached for the Master Sword.

"I don't know! Like hell I'd tell you! And if that thief girl knows where it is, she better keep her trap shut too!"

"I guess I'll go ask your boss then" said Link with a lightness he did not feel.

That snapped the thief out of his shock. "Have fun with that, kid." And to Link's immense surprise, the thieving bard broke out in song strumming his lyre.

"Oh ho ho! Wrong place, wrong time, and the boss will be glad to put you back in line!"

"A smart thief fears the boss' wrath!" sang the lady in the back. "I'd rather be on a cliff walkin' a narrow path!"

The bard jammed a finger right into Link's hat. "Remember that!"

Link was too flabbergasted by the sudden change in mood to argue. "I will." However, his anger had not evaporated. "Where is he?"

The bard mumbled something under his breath. "Find him yourself."

"I will. Thanks."

And without another word, Link left the establishment, with everybody's gazes nailed at his back.

He would find that Sage and get them back. He HAD to.

---

All the patrons in the bar stared in silence as the boy in green left. For a moment all they could do was stand still, trying to comprehend what just happened.

"I thought I was gonna die for a moment there…"

"Anyone knows what that's all about?"

"I said "painting" and he freaked out…"

"Ya think the princess sent 'im? That thing's precious, right?"

"I never heard any of it…"

"You haven't been to the palace in months, Mr. Royal Guard."

"Shut up…"

"Well, he doesn't stand a chance against the boss."

"Ya think?"

"DUH."

"Dunno, he looks like he means business, with the sword and all…"

"He's not the first one to try pull that shit with the boss, ya know."

There was a brief bout of laughter, as the patrons returned to their drinking.

The boss would deal with it.

---

Link left the tavern feeling horrible. That anger… As soon as that musician said the word "painting"… He would not say that he "saw red". It felt… It felt so cold and hot at once, and he just forced the answers out of that man, he almost threatened him with his sword; no, there was no "almost" about it, he DID threaten him with his sword. It was horrible. He was horrible.

At least he had some answers now. One of the Sages was here. It was in the possession of the Thieves' leader. A thief girl knew about it. That was a lost more than he knew a few hours ago. Now he had to figure out how to find the man.

This village had nothing that screamed "thief base". Or "base". Or even a place of gathering, in fact.

His previous theory about monsters not getting near settlements was proven wrong because the walkways of the small village were overtaken by spear-wielding Moblins who took it up upon themselves to patrol the place. Link was not sure if he should laugh or cry that the monsters were doing the job of the Royal Guard.

Fortunately, Link knew Kakariko village like the back of his hand, and this place had an almost identical layout, so he was able to avoid the monster patrols with ease.

Link ducked behind one of the few intact houses, hiding between the dry bushes of the yard as another patrol passed.

From inside, a man with a scratchy voice could be heard singing.

"Many years ago, I felt so free… Thought I chose the thief's life, but it really chose me. Every time I say I'm a-leavin', this accursed life sets me right back to thievin'!"

Sheesh, was every person in this place really a thief? Who would they even steal from? And was he not worried about the monsters hearing him? He was pretty sure monsters had a better hearing than him, and he could hear the man just fine.

Link reached for his water flask to see if there was any left in it – did he refill his supply after Death Mountain, he did not remember – when he saw a skeleton Cucco staring at him.

Link stared back. He blinked. Yes, it was still there.

"There are SKELETON CUCCOS!?"

For a moment, even the distant chanting was silent. Oh. They heard that.

…Crap.

The Moblins were on him.

Link immediately got up and grabbed his sword, praying to all goddesses that the undead Cuckoo would choose a target other than him, and right as he came face to face with a Moblin that tried its best to take his head off, a large hand grabbed him from behind, accompanied by a loud slamming noise.

It took Link a few seconds to register what just happened.

He was indoors. In a house. A small one. And in front of him was a middle-aged man with a black beard and a bandanna.

"You alrigh' there, lad?"

He recognized the voice. "Are you the guy who was singing?"

"Aye, that's me! Are you the kid that screamed bloody murder when he saw a Cucco?"

Link was NOT going to apologize for that. "Those things are a menace to society."

The thief burst in laughter. "Can't argue with that! Damn things ain't good for nothin'. Well, at least they ain't as bad as the monsters, hey?"

Link laughed. "Can't argue with that!"

Both of them burst into laughter, Link with tears in his eyes, feeling lighter than he had in a while. When was the last time he laughed like that? Before this whole thing started? Goddesses, what a depressing thought.

"You alrigh' there, lad?"

"Yeah, I needed that… Thanks for that. And for that Moblin."

"It's nothin'… well, maybe if ya pay me for it!"

"A thief, right? I heard your singing." Surprisingly, Link did not find himself to mind very much. The man had saved his life just now, and gave him a good laugh. Even though his house was dark and a little dirty, Link felt safer here than he did outside.

"Aye, it's an old tune. You probably wouldn't know it."

"It's my first time in town…"

"Really now? Where did ya come from?"

Hoo boy, where would he even begin to explain that. "…Away. I'm looking from some stuff that went missing." He absolutely loathed calling the sages "stuff" but it was easier to explain that he was looking for some paintings instead of explaining about Yuga.

The old man raised an eyebrow. "And you suspect us ol' thieves, hey?"

Link grimaced. "…About one of them…? I know for sure…? Kind of…? I think the rest is elsewhere…?"

The old man looked amused. "Sounds like a story."

Link groaned. "It feels like it'll take YEARS to tell…"

"Tha' bad, ey?"

"And it's been only like, what? It's been…" Link mentally did the math. "Oh goddesses it's been five days. Just five days. Wow. Holy shit."

Now the old man looked bemused. "Definitely a story."

"… Can I ask you something?" Link was not sure what urged him to speak up. It was just; a question that silently burned him ever since he first set foot in this land. One that he did not even realize he needed to ask until he saw a friendly face.

"What's it, lad?"

"…What do you think of this place?"

He did not know why he asked that. He could have asked something useful like "where is your base" or "I'm looking for a painting" or even "I heard something about a girl", but instead it was this. What was he thinking?

To Link's surprise, the old man laughed. It was not mocking or anything, he just seemed to be in a good mood. "Little too rough for ya, eh? Me, I don't mind it so much. At least there's still a strong musical culture in this town. It's a tradition with us!"

"Even that creepy chanting at the distance?"

"Wha', the mask cult? Don't mind them, they're harmless. Younger folks have been complainin' abou' the monsters, but it ain't their fault. It's been bad everywhere. I jus' hope they ain't throwin' 'emselves on them or somethin'."

A cult. Just the element that was missing from his adventure.

Speaking of which… "I should get going. Thank you for saving me."

"It was nothing, kid. Just be careful out there. That's a really nice sword, you know…"

"You wouldn't be able to use it." Link was certain about that. The Master Sword was the one thing that could never get stolen, that nobody would be able to abuse.

"Ya sure?"

"Absolutely."

"If ya say so! Good luck with the missing stuff! I promise you won't find it!"

Link found himself grinning ear to ear. "Thanks! I'll take that as a challenge!"

"Take care out there!"

Link waved the old thief goodbye, feeling refreshed. He really needed that talk. Despite being a thief, he was… nice.

Heh. A nice thief, and a town with a "strong musical culture".

Let's see what else this village had to offer. Maybe it was not as terrible here as he first thought.

---

He takes that back. This place was terrible.

While Link wanted as little to do with it as possible, he knew that he would not be able to avoid the cult forever. At least, that was what he told himself when curiosity eventually got the better of him, and his steps directed him to the source of the strange chanting.

It was a phrase, he could make out, repeated over and over and over again, whispered under their breath or yelled out loud, sometimes singing it like the speaker could not decide how to say it. Someone was talking over all this, their words mixing with the cacophony of the chanting.

Even though it was coming from the other side of the village, the distance felt like a world.

There was a bonfire here. A man standing on a stone pedestal, surrounded by a crowd, all their faces obscured by the smoke and the strange light; Link could hardly make out any features.

"Listen to me well, lost souls! Though we have seen the world crumble before us, we must not give in to the corruption of thievery! Monsters will keep you strong! They are our only salvation, my children! You must don the mask! Don the mask! We are corrupt. CORRUPT! Do not be deceived! All gods have abandoned us and there is no one to bring us salvation! Only monsters will save us now! They are the only power left in this world! Not the gods! Not the so-called heroes! Not the kingdom and the princess of despair! Only the monsters remain! There is nothing for us to do but don their mask and pray!"

Masks. So many masks. With horns, tusks, tentacles, gigantic eyes, and strange symbols…

"…mumbo jumbo, mumbo jumbo…"

"GIVE yourselves to the monsters! Surrender to them so they may show mercy! The world is crumbling because of our corruption! Corruption is all there is to turn to but we must not lose hope! Don the mask, and the strength of the monsters will be granted to you! Do not fall to the clutches of thievery for you must have FAITH!"

This is wrong.

"DON THE MASK!"

This is so wrong.

The preacher looked right at him, and the yellow eyes of his mask seemed to glow under the bonfire. Link was paralyzed by the gaze. "And you as well watching from a distance! No blade will save you now, my son. Don the mask and your strength will go beyond what your mere arms can grant you!"

"…No."

"Do not be deceived by tales of hope, my son. Only our corruption will bring us salvation!"

"You don't even make sense…"

"There is no sense left in this land. There are no gods. There is no light!"

Something in Link snapped. "You took the light!"

His back collided with something. A raspy trill resounded through the air. The elder froze. The masked followers stopped.

Link looked behind him.

It was a weather vane. Exactly like the one he saw at the smithy, a purple and pink bat-like thing, dancing and trilling with joy, just woken up from its snooze.

Goddesses please grant me strength…

Link straightened himself. "I have a mission here."

His audience was captive. Beneath the masks he could tell that they were glancing between him and the weather vane. Maybe the vane was important somehow. Maybe they were simply too surprised by the random occurrence. Link was not going to question the cause. Not now. Maybe later.

"Something – someone – was taken. The thieves have it, locked away. Where."

Nobody responded.

"Where do the thieves lock their stuff? Where is their base?"

No answer. Again. They were getting agitated. The tension was rising, Link could feel it.

"It's important" he continued. Perhaps he could convince them. "Extremely important. There is a curse on them" he said, slowly, putting weight behind each of his words. "A very heavy curse. I only escaped it by a miracle. There is no telling what will happen if the thieves keep it. They must be returned. And I will do it. Where. Is the Thieves'. Base."

Link could feel more than see them shifting. Just like he could feel the masked elder's scrutiny, the slow building hatred behind his wooden façade.

"A miracle" he rasped.

"A gift." Because that was all it was, a lousy gift that saved him.

The elder went silent again.

"You are blessed."

"I earned it."

He was, and he did. He was saved by the gifts of strangers, and the holy blade was sitting at his back. Maybe he could talk them out of the madness that the old man spat, this incoherent rhetoric.

The old man raised his staff.

"AFTER HIM."

He ran.

---

Once again, his curse had saved him. In the midst of the confusion, Link managed to slip into the cracked walls of a collapsed house. There he sat alone, in a Cucco pen, hiding from the birds, the monsters, and the cult members alike. The undead Cuccos had not noticed him yet, fortunately, or perhaps they did not mind his presence, as unlikely as that sounded. Behind the crumbled walls and roof under which he was hiding, sounds of fighting could be heard. Clangs of metal and screams. Both human and monster. Link could not see what was happening, but he did not need to.

There was a Poe passing by. Link was too tired to get up. This entire day – days – had drained his energy in a way he had thought impossible. Now that he finally slowed down, even like this… it was like lead took hold of his limbs.

Still, the Poe kept getting closer. With a low curse, Link managed to place his hand on the hilt of the Master Sword, slightly drawing it from its sheath.

He did not need to. As soon as the Poe entered the pen, a Cucco attacked it. They quickly multiplied, as was their usual. Link did not know how effective this would be, but they were just skeletons…

Maybe he should just take a break here.

Yes, take a break. In the middle of two fights. The one between the ghosts and the birds looked stupid is he was being honest but the one he could hear behind him…

Link breathed a heavy sigh, and sunk his face between his knees.

It was too much. It was entirely too much. Everything about this.

I'm tired…

---

In his dream, there was a girl, a maiden, locked in a prison. Then there was a monster, screaming at the faint sunlight.

"Too bright? TOO BRIGHT!? THAT'S ALL YOU GOT TO SAY!? YOU BLIND BASTARD! WHERE IS SHE!?"

"Hey, are you awake?"

Link blinked, feeling a large hand shaking his shoulder. Everything looked blurry… Did he fall asleep?

He wiped his eyes with his sleeve, trying get the sleepiness off, though it did little more than to emphasize the strain that he had not really noticed before.

Link moved a bit from his crouching position, his body sending needles down his spine in protest, and he looked up to the person who woke him up.

He wore a mask.

Link was instantly on his guard, his body screaming in protest but the incident fresh in his mind.

The cultist raised his hands in surrender. "Wait, I'm just here to talk!"

There was blood on him, Link noticed now, though no injuries. "The Moblins…?" His throat ached with how dry it was. When was the last time he had water, yesterday? He wondered how much he had in his flask.

Even beneath the mask, he could tell the man tried to hide a wince; one that went through his whole body. "…Most of us escaped."

Most of them. Not all. Something sunk in Link's stomach, and he was not sure what to name it.

"What do you want?" He wanted nothing to do with the cultists. He did not want to before and he most certainly did not want to now. Not after this.

"You said you were looking for the thieves' base, uh… I think I know where it is?"

Of all things, Link did not expect it would be that. His expression must have betrayed his surprise, because the masked man took that as permission to continue. "I heard those statues at the north end are entrances to some sort of hideout. It gives me the chills just to look at them! So, uh, yeah, it made sense. I tried to knock on the door once, but someone was inside and they told me to make like a piece of fruit and scoot…"

The statues… Link had only caught a brief glimpse of them as he was running, but there was nothing like them in the Kakariko village he knew. That had to be the place.

"…Why are you telling me this?" Was this a trap of some sort?

The masked man just… shrugged. "I always wished I could have the strength to get out of here entirely. And you just…" he waved his hands like he was at a loss on how to explain it. "…walked in. To do stuff."

Link was quiet for a moment, taking it in.

"…Thanks." To his own surprise, it was a heartfelt one.

"Uh, you're welcome. Yeah… I'm going home now. Got to clean this up."

And so, he left. Link was once again alone in the Cucco pen. The undead birds were trotting around like nothing happened.

Slowly, Link managed to get up, his joints creaking in protest. The quick nap had done him absolutely no favours. Oh well. Perhaps moving around – in a slower place – would help him.

Careful not to disturb the Cuccos, Link started stretching as best as he could; which was not very well, considering nobody ever instructed him on it. He knew theoretically that there was a correct way to stretch but he was not privy to it. He heard something pop back in place, at least.

Statues at the north side of town, huh? And they kicked out people who were not members… There had to be some way in.

Link finally emerged from the pen and took a look around. Just a couple of monsters wandering the streets. Nothing more.

He could smell rust. He knew exactly where it was coming from. He had absolutely no intention of walking through that. Instead, he opted to go around town, where the most he would have to worry about would be the occasional Poe. He could take care of those easily. The one he already fought went down in one hit, after all.

It was not long before he made it to the north of the village. The small lot where he found the cult was empty now, the bonfire from before reduced to a mild fire that would soon go out entirely. The grass underneath was too thin for the fire to truly spread.

The weather vane was still there, and Link was not sure why he was surprised to see it intact. The bat-like creature trilled full of excitement when he walked near. Link chuckled. "At least someone is happy to see me…" Truthfully, the little dance did cheer him up. It was actually kind of cute. Link scratched it under the "chin" and it squeed in joy.

From where he was standing he could see the statues he heard about. However, it was another structure that caught his attention first. A small building, completely intact, with lights inside. It had a store sign at the front. Should he get in? There was no way whoever was inside had not notice the chaos from earlier. Who knows how they would react if he just walked in.

Instead, he decided to approach first. Better get an idea about what kind of place this was before going in.

He could hear someone inside singing.

"Boss went and hid my thief girl away where no one could hear what she had to say. Sometimes it hurts too much t'care. Ya think knowledge is power, but it's really despair…"

The thief girl? Then the person inside was also a thief. Wait… was that the same song the old thief who helped him sang? Now that he thought about it, the tune the bard at the tavern sang was also pretty similar… Was it all the same song?

For a fleeting moment he wondered if the "thief girl" thing was just part of the song, but then he remembered what the musician said. No, she was real, and the man inside knew something.

He had to figure out where she was. She could be anywhere in town, even in the secret base – that he still had no idea how to enter. Still, she was the best bet…

"Relax Link, relax… It's a puzzle, you've got to figure it out…"

He now knew where the base was, but he had no idea how to enter. There was someone at the door kicking out any strangers. There was a girl who knew where the Sage was, but the boss of the thieves locked her up somewhere. She was a thief too, so she probably knew how to get in. She was most likely in the base.

He still needed more information.

"Let's search some more buildings."

His stomach grumbled.

"And some food…" Except that the only place he would possibly find something to eat was the tavern. Link had a hunch that he was not exactly welcome there. Oh well. Food would have to wait.

…

No, it was not well. The last meal he had was that soup from yesterday. He did not have any water either. He was pretty sure he was running on pure anxiety right now. He still had the blue potion that Irene's grandmother gave him, but… it was a powerful potion. Link wanted to save it for emergencies. And he was pretty sure that it would not work on his hunger.

Still, his whole body was in pain, not just his stomach… His arm was in pain too, it felt like it was burning a bit.

His arm…

Link's eyes widened and he immediately lifted his sleeve. The scar. It was just like the times when Yuga was nearby – or his magic. He knew it could only mean one thing.

Using his pain as a compass, he left the shop and walked.

Carefully avoiding the Moblin patrols, Link passed right before the entrance to the thieves' base, and he took a moment to observe it. Two absolutely massive statues, with their base easily taller than a man, with metal demonic faces marking the entrance. Link had seen doors like that before in the places he raided in Hyrule; he supposed the average person would not be able to tell these were doors and not mere decorations. The statues themselves were towering, made entirely of stone, each depicting a humanoid figure with bird-like feet, heads and wings crouching down, clutching their legs close to their chests. Link could not even begin to imagine what they depicted. Whatever they meant, one of those statues was partially destroyed, almost half of it missing, so perhaps people did not really care about them anymore.

Still, the source of magic was not from here. It was further away.

A few minutes later, Link stood before a house. A perfectly ordinary, perfectly solid house. Small, and almost too perfect to belong here. No windows.

Link touched the doorknob, and not feeling any magic in it, started tugging at the doorknob. It soon turned into a struggle and Link gave up. Locked. Of course. Brute force it was then.

Link drew the Master Sword and jammed it in the door, throwing all his weight behind it. It budged a little.

A little. It was otherwise completely unscathed.

Link had no way to get the Sage. It was right here, and he had no way of getting it.

"DAMNIT!"

He banged on the door with all his strength, forgetting the pain in his outburst. It was right here. It was right here! A painting with a trapped Sage was right here and he could not even reach it because the door was locked. It was absurd. It left like someone was playing a joke on him.

He had to get to the base. Find the girl, or the boss, find some way to unlock the door and get the Sage back. It was his only choice.

Resigned, pulled out his flask and drank a bit of water, mostly to clear his throat. Then, he walked back to the statues.

---

Knock-Knock-Knock.

Link felt a bit ridiculous as he knocked on the base's door. He was there to get in a fight with a boss thief and he was politely knocking on the door.

As expected, somebody started yelling from the other side.

"Who's there!? Nobody gets past me 'less you know all the words to the ultra-secret-thief-password song."

Ultra-secret-thief-password song? Was that seriously what they were calling it? Wait, song?

"I'll start the lyrics, and you finish 'em! That is, if you can!"

He had to recite a song!?

"Here we go." The thief cleared his throat. Oh shit, could Link just leave now? He never actually answered so-

"A smart thief fears the boss' wrath! I'd rather be on a cliff walkin'…"

…This could not be real. This absolutely could not be real. It could not be THAT song. "…A narrow path!"

The voice continued. "Sometimes it hurts-"

"-too much t'care. You think knowledge is power but it's really despair!"

"Nice, on the next one! Every time-"

"-I say I'm a-leavin', this accursed life sets me right back to thievin'!"

It WAS that song!

"Wow…" said the person from the inside quietly. "What a fetching voice…" Link flushed at that. Him, a fetching voice? Nobody had told him that before…

"Come on in, buddy!"

And the gate was lifted. Link was stunned. It was actually, really, THAT easy. Sheesh… if he knew that beforehand he would have sat listening in to the old thief's singing and dodged all of today's chaos entirely.

Link did the only reasonable thing, and walked in.

The person behind the door turned out to be young-ish man with blue hair in a bowl cut and a spear. He was also wearing… That kind of looked… like the Royal Guard uniform… Actually, HE looked like one of the Royal Guards in Hyrule… Weird.

The doorman was examining Link just as closely. "Never seen you 'round here before… You one of the new recruits, eh?" Link nodded, eager to maintain the accidental façade for as long as possible. "Perfect timing!"

"Huh?" For what?

"You have a sword. You take over guard duty for me. Have fun. And don't do nothin' that'll get me in trouble, fresh meat! I'm gonna go get me some fresh air."

And to Link's utter disbelief, the doorman walked outside all while humming about fresh meat and fresh air. Last thing he caught was something about the bard putting a tune on it, and then the gate was shut.

…This guy literally abandoned his post to some guy he had never seen before.

…He better not talk about me in that tavern. Then again, he would probably get in trouble if he did, and he did not want that.

Well, too bad for the former doorman. This fresh meat was here to make all sorts of trouble.

At any rate, this was a great first step. Link was in the base, and the only person who saw him would not tattle on him. The door was also left unguarded in case Link needed to make a quick escape. Now what?

Almost a habit at this point, Link immediately started examining his surroundings. The interior of the statue was…

Shockingly huge. He most certainly had not expected that given the size of the statues, or the chasm right behind the village.

It was an enormous underground room, dug underground, with its walls carefully lined with bricks, the floor carefully paved with stone. There were torches scattered around illuminating the space just enough to comfortably see. The gate from which he entered led directly to a large mezzanine that went from wall to wall, looking just as sturdy. At the other end of the large room he could see another large mezzanine, and he could faintly make out a staircase and what seemed like a treasure chest. The two fake floors were connected by a metal fence bridge. There was also a very large door to his right, and an opening to another room to his left. Just how big was this place?

More importantly, even though he could not see anyone yet…

This is the thieves' base. There's no way it's empty.

He had to be careful. He could not linger here for too long.

As soon as the initial inspection was over, Link leaned over the far too short railings to see what was underneath. The first thing he noticed was how deep this space really went. It had to be at least three floors tall. The second was her.

A girl sitting down in a cell, pink hair reflecting the light.

That must be the girl everyone was talking about.

Granted, Link did not exactly need her. He had already figured out where the thieves kept the Sage. However, she may know where the boss is... More importantly, even though Link still could not see anyone, there was no way she was unguarded.

Or maybe she really is unguarded in case some thief asks where the painting is. It did not matter. The painting was under lock and key and Link was willing to bet anything that the key was in the boss's hands.

Oh well, no point in pondering now. He was out in the open. He had to keep moving.

Link carefully made his way across the bridge, trying to make as little sound as possible. Metal fencing was noisy and the last thing he wanted was getting caught. However, he was met with disappointment when he made it across.

There was indeed a massive treasure chest there, but even with his wall merging he would not be able to reach it. There were switches on the floor but right now, Link was too hesitant to step on them. What if they were alarms? However, he could see another entrance to his left, so he made his way through.

It was not an entrance. He could see a new room, almost as large as the previous one, but the metal fence went up to the ceiling. He could not cross that. Link looked down to see what was under him, and…

A treasure chest!

Automatically, Link kicked it open. He froze immediately afterwards. Did I trigger something?

He held still for a few seconds and when nothing happened, he sighed in relief. Even more so when he found a Purple Rupee inside.

Is it really theft when you steal from thieves? For the sake of convenience, he was going to go with "no".

Under the metal fence Link could make out a bottomless pit – of course – and moving lanes of some kind. Still nobody.

Something's wrong.

With a new Rupee in his pouch and a restless feeling in his heart, Link dashed right back to the base entrance. He then went to the entrance to the left.

Short walls and a proper floor. He would not be able to tell if anyone was approaching him here. Link stood by the entrance for a minute, listening in, all while making sure that nobody approached the statue entrance.

Nothing.

All he could hear some faint rhythmic echo from within. The first sign of movement in this place. Cautiously, Link proceeded, taking a look through each corner.

To his surprise, he found an orb switch. These things are here too? Secondly, was this a trap?

Link decided to risk it. He hit the switch with his sword, and suddenly bars rose from the ground.

Huh.

Link turned into a painting and went through, easily popping up on the other side. That was when he came face-to-face with the source of the noise. It was a mechanism embedded in the wall, continuously firing arrows to the other end of the room. Due to yet another wall that obscured the view, Link could not see where they landed.

There had to be a reason that thing was there. He waited a few moments, and once there was an opening, Link merged with the wall parallel to the path of the arrows.

The path itself was a dead end, but there was a switch. Still, there was no way for Link to press it without risking serious injury. He had to find some other way. There had to be something that could help him. Link decided to check the rest of the room.

His solution was found just around the corner, and not in the form he expected.

They were statues. Human-sized versions of the gigantic statues that marked the entrance, stacked next to each other, shoved into a corner half hidden from view. That was how Link would press that switch.

Link was so thankful to Rosso for the Power Gloves. There was no way he could have dragged those statues around given how tired he was. He dragged the first statue to the arrow hallway, making sure to use it as a shield to avoid getting skewered. Soon it landed on the switch. And nothing happened.

Great, there's a second one… Well, there were two statues so he should have expected that.

It did not take long for Link to find the second switch. It was just a few steps away from the switch orb. Link deactivated the orb, bringing the bars back down, and went to retrieve the statue.

Only to find out it was behind bars.

With a heavy sigh, Link reactivated the orb, dragged the statue, deactivated the orb, and finally placed that thing on the switch.

And once again, nothing happened.

Oh, come on! How many switches were there!?

Definitely a security system… and it needs at least two people to get through.

Yes, Link still thought it was weird that he had not seen anyone other than the doorman and the guard. Maybe the rest of the thieves were deeper in the base… He could not imagine anyone willingly sitting in this room.

He started looking for the third switch and found it in a tiny cell with no obvious door in it. To his surprise, there was also a treasure chest in it. Fifty Rupees! Oh yeah. Link was planning to leave this place rich.

He pressed the switch and that was when he finally heard the door open. I hope it doesn't close as soon as I step off. Fortunately, it did not. Link threw another glance at the base's entrance, and then he went to the next room.

Someone was there.

Link immediately merged with the wall, a sudden grip of panic in his chest.

"Huh? Some'ne 'ere?"

There were people here. Shit!

"How didat door ge' open?"

Link stayed merged with the wall, staying as still as possible, praying to Nayru the thief would not notice the painting that was not there before, that he had not seen the flash of light that he knew always accompanied the merging. He could see the entrance to the next room right across…

Then, to Link's immense relief, the man went to the other room.

"Oy! Some'ne moved'em statues!"

Link unmerged and dashed.

It only occurred to him that running without looking was not the best idea. The thief from before did not notice him, but the new room was a hazard.

It was another half floors room, and Link almost fell off the ledge. There were also some other wooden ledges in odd shapes connected to the walls and to this ledge, as well as a metal fence that made for a makeshift plank. None of that connected him to the next room.

"Wha' the devil wassat…"

The thief!

Link sidestepped from the entrance and hid behind the corner, once again hoping the man had not noticed him. He could swear he heard something squeaking. Rats. Of course there were Rats here.

Link heard the footsteps approaching him, and immediately merged back into the wall.

Tch. If I had been faster I'd be across by now…

The man muttered something and left. Link barely resisted collapsing out of the wall with how heavy his relief was.

Just get across, and do it fast.

Once again making sure that the man was not looking into this room, he stuck to the left wall, avoiding the makeshift plank entirely. Fortunately, while he ran into an air propeller along the way – why is there an air propeller here of all places – he managed to get to the other side without much trouble.

There was a staircase leading down.

Link sat at the steps, careful to climb down enough so that his head was not visible from the room. He took his flask out and drank another sip of water. He was so hungry he felt that going down to his stomach.

This hideout would be the death of him, he just knew. He was nowhere near as anxious going through the hiding places of the Pendants of Virtue. And one of said hideouts was the goddesses-damned Tower of Hera. But… there was something about this place specifically that made all his hairs stand on end. A lot of it was definitely the fear of being found out, but still… he just could not get rid of the feeling that something terrible would happen here.

No. You can't linger. Keep moving.

He did.

The next room as he found out was the one he glimpsed earlier when he found that fenced-off entrance and the first treasure chest. Fortunately, there was a staircase next to the entrance that would let him get a bit higher and get a better look.

To Link's surprise, not only was the staircase connected to an inner balcony made of wire fence, there was even a treasure chest on it. For a moment he wondered if it could actually support his weight, but once he stepped on it his fears were proven unfounded. He opened it and he grinned ear to ear when he saw his third Purple Rupee for the day. At least THAT was going well.

Money aside however, this room was a death trap. From his vantage point Link could easily make out a bottomless pit – of course there was a bottomless pit, at least this one had a plausible explanation for existing, with the chasms and all – and several moving… floors? Belts? Lanes? – he picked lanes – that would lead him straight into it. There was also an orb switch…

And unfortunately for the poor sap who designed this place, Link easily bypassed all of it with his wall merging. That was getting a lot of usage today.

The next room was also a bottomless pit and moving lane one, but with this one the door was locked. Time to find another switch.

Link looked at the ground, and then inspected the room. He did so again because there was no way that was right.

He would have to actually get on the lane that led to the bottomless pit, merge with the wall the last possible moment, go to the staircase that was inexplicably not connected to any entrances or anything, hit the orb switch, and hope for the best.

Resigned, Link proceeded to do just that.

One short near brush with death later, Link was next to the orb switch, activated it, and that was when he found out there was a second moving lane, which led to a second orb switch. And the door was still locked so he would have to activate that one. Link for a moment contemplated using a bomb but… that would make too much noise. Instead he drew Ravio's bow instead, a bit stunned at the dip of energy from drawing the string and generating the arrow. Right. Ravio's equipment was using the energy created from food. That was what Ravio told him. And Link had not eaten in a while. For all he knew, the sheer amount of wall merging he did was draining he depleted reserves as well. He did not actually know.

At any rate, Link aimed the bow, and the arrow hit true. The second orb switch was activated, and the door opened. Link waited for a moment to see if anyone noticed, and after a few moments of silence he leaped down and went through.

The next room was empty. Completely empty. No pits, no lanes, no monsters, no people, no nothing. There was literally nothing here. Except a switch.

…Yeah, that one just screamed the word "trap". Link ignored it entirely and moved on.

He did not expect a hallway.

Somehow, it made him pause. He could see two entrances, three if he included the one he just came through. Anyone could walk in at any moment. And there was… something in the air. Link walked slowly, feeling far too exposed. And then he saw it.

There were Rupees drawn on the walls.

His blood went cold.

Yuga.

No, this could not be happening. This absolutely could not be happening. Yuga could not have possibly entered this place, could he? Hilda was keeping his trapped-

But who says he wasn't here beforehand?

No. That could not be right. Maybe the thieves drew the Rupees? It made sense, right? Why would Yuga even come here?

Link shook his head. The longer he stood here the more likely it was he was discovered. He ran to the entrance across the corridor.

A dead end. It ended at another corridor, but the door was locked without any way for it to open from this side. There was more to this room – the wall that trapped Link did not go all the way to the ceiling – but he would have to access it from elsewhere.

Link went back to the corridor and went through the entrance to the side.

It was another cell room. All Link could make out from his position was a long corridor with locked doors at both sides. He looked up to see if there was more.

And that was when he saw the fence bridge of the entrance.

He was in the same room he saw from above when he entered this place. In other words…

He looked to his right, his hand almost unconsciously touching the wall. The thief girl right here.

Should he go ahead alone? He did not need her- he already knew where the Sage was locked, all he needed was the key to the place, but if he took her with him-

Link doubled down on his knees, a horrible sick feeling in his stomach. His vision was blurry. He felt bile climbing up in his mouth, and his head felt like bursting.

If I take her with-

He gagged. It was a dry thing but felt too close to vomit for comfort. He held himself up with his arms, just barely avoiding collapsing on the floor, heaving.

"Is someone there?"

The voice was muffled, but it was unmistakably a girl. Link felt like gagging all over again, his headache turning sharp, every single instinct screaming at him that this is a trap.

What's… wrong with me?

"Oy, someone there?" A new wave of nausea came over him.

I have to keep going…

On shaking legs, Link managed to get up, using the wall for support. He took a few moments to get his breath under control. He heard the girl grumbling something but he tried his best to ignore it. The mere thought of helping her made him sick… What was happening to him?

I'll just… ignore her… keep an eye… my head…

He had to find the exit.

Careful not make another noise not to alert the girl – or give a reason to anyone above to look down here – he walked around the room. Other than the two locked doors, he also found two exits, both sealed with hatches. He also found two switches.

One of them HAS to be a trap… Shit. It had to be a trap. It had to. There was something in his mind that was screaming at him that everything here is a trap and Link could not ignore it no matter how hard he tried.

Still, there was no way forward. None that he could see.

Tentatively, Link stepped on one of the switches. Nothing. He pressed the second too. Nothing. There had to be a secret behind this…

Involuntarily, his eyes stared at the wall, right at the direction of the girl's cell. The sick feeling lurched at his stomach again.

It's a trap. She'll stab you in the back. She's waiting for you to get the opportunity.

Link had no idea where those thoughts were coming from, but he could not ignore them. He knew inside him from the moment that he stepped in this town that he could not trust anyone here. Everyone was out for themselves, all else be damned.

…But some people did help him. The old thief. The man in the Cucco pen. They helped Link without prompting and asked for nothing. Without them Link would have never found the base. And that girl was locked up here because she knew something.

There was no way forward. Not on his own.

Link took a deep breath, and swallowed the lump in his throat, and the sick feeling in his stomach. He took another and did his damnest to ignore his building headache.

He went to the girl.

---

She startled as he emerged from the wall. Link stepped forward, looking at her right in the eye, taking in her appearance. Pink her in a loose braid, a vest, a shirt, pants and gloves, with a hawk-like nose. Nothing like he was expecting, for some reason. In her eyes was nothing but shock.

"Who are you supposed to be!? And how did you get here!?" She had the mind to keep her voice low. Good. Link did not want to alert anyone who may be here.

Her initial shock faded. "Hang on a second…" Her voice was raspy, but it did not sound like it was her natural. "You wouldn't happen to be looking for some kind of painting, would you?"

"…I'm looking for a way out."

She snorted. "Right. If you want a way out you can go the same way you came in. That thing must be pretty valuable if the boss went to all that trouble just to hide it. And now folks like you are searchin' for it. Hm."

She somehow managed to sound proud of herself for figuring it out and simultaneously convey a "duh, it is obvious" tone. She leaned closer – Link felt his skin crawl – and raised her hand to her mouth to whisper, barely hiding her sly smile. "Well, I may have "accidentally" learnt where the boss hid it… maybe."

The ill feeling in his stomach lurched.

"Say… we could help each other out here. If you could get me out of here, then maybe I could help you find what you're looking for. Maybe."

He lightly pushed her away from him, not wanting to maintain contact. "I already know where it is."

All slyness from her expression fell off to be replaced by surprise, before it was quickly restored – with a hint of nervousness. "You're pulling my leg-"

Link was not in the mood for her games. Or any games. "The house east of the statues at the entrance, the one that's too well maintained. It doesn't have windows."

The smugness dropped – for good. Link pressed on. "The door is locked. I could not break in with my sword. I'm looking for the key. And the way where I came from doesn't have it."

For what felt like eternity, she just stared at him. "…Holy shit you're serious."

Yes. Yes, he was. He was too damn tired to not be serious. And every moment he stood still he felt that tiredness settle even deeper in his bones. He was almost grateful to that sick feeling he got because it distracted him from how tired he was.

She slumped against the wall.

"Great. The creep locked me here and the only guy here to rescue me already knows the secret." She turned to him. "Don't bother looking for a chest or whatever, look for the boss. He's got the key to that house."

She'll stab you in the back. She's waiting.

"Do you know where the boss is?"

She shifted uncomfortably. "I dunno. Haven't seen that bastard ever since he locked me up in here. I haven't seen much of anyone, really…"

This is a trap.

Link sighed, trying not to make his trembling too obvious. This was not the time to lose his composure. "Do you know how to open that hatch door over there?"

The girl smiled. "Saw those two switches on the floor?"

"…Yes." They did nothing, he did not add, but it must have been written all over his face.

"You need two people to stand on each for that to open."

His stomach sunk. He understood the not-so-hidden implication. He had no choice but to take her with him. He had no choice but to take her with him.

He stumbled down.

"Wow, you okay!?"

Link hated how worried her voice sounded. "Stay back." It came out sharp and she flinched. A part of him felt guilty for that, but the intense sickness he felt near her presence overrode that.

She stepped back.

"…How do I get you out of here?"

With a grunt of effort, she got up from where she was sitting, and started searching with her foot.

Don't tell me…

A hidden switch.

To his utter astonishment, the tile on the floor gave way, and Link heard a hatch opening.

"That was that hatch over there" she said, pointing to the west side of the room where the sound came from. "They keep the cell keys there. They walled off the path. Maybe. Anyway, there's a hidden path behind the left wall. Follow it and you'll end up on the walls, and from there there's a cell with no bars no nothing. That's where the keys are."

Link stared at her. "How do I get out?"

"There are some crystal balls there, you'll figure it out." She must mean the switch orbs. He nodded, not quite finding it in him to thank her verbally.

In a quiet but persistent part of his mind, he was freaked out about how of character he was acting. That normally he would go help her right away, that he would chat with her and try to get the full story, that he would have snarked or cracked a joke or something. But Link could not help it. His everything was killing him right now and he did not think a potion would help. It took everything in his power to talk to her as much as he did.

"So get going! I don't want to spend any more time than I have to down here! No maybes about that one!"

Link had already merged back into the wall, slipping out of the cell. The opened hatch was at his right, so he walked through. As he stepped in, on his right there was wall and on his left bars. Link slipped through the bars and sure enough, he came across a section of wall that looked brand new.

It looked like it needed a bomb to break.

He grit his teeth. Bombs were noisy! The base's entrance was right above them! Anyone could hear a bomb going off!

This is a trap.

But he had no choice.

Link reached into his magic pouch for one of Ravio's magic bombs. He placed it and stepped back. A few moments later, it detonated with a loud bang.

"COULDN'T YOU BE QUIET!?"

"NO!"

Now someone was definitely on his case. Link had to get this key right now.

Link found himself in the side path behind the wall and sprinted across, emerging at another room with some switch orbs and the same kind of weird glowing crystal platforms he saw in the Tower of Hera. He had no time to ponder this oddity however, as he immediately used them to get on top of the wall and sprint his way across to the room the girl pointed out. The door was open and Link stepped in…

And it was pitch dark. He heard a hatch seal behind him.

Shit.

And then he saw the eyes. Glowing. All staring at him. And they jumped towards him.

What the-

Link drew his sword and immediately started slashing away at them as they did the best to stomp him.

Are these Armos of some kind?

The Master Sword did nothing to them.

Link almost panicked at the realization. All the holy blade did was bounce off those things. He took a few steps back and they just… stopped?

The statues turned to look at the door and they closed their glowing eyes, leaving Link in absolute darkness once again.

Kind of like Armos… but nowhere near as fragile. And he still had no real clue what they looked like.

He had to find some way to take them out. From the looks of it they only attacked when he was near them, which was a good thing because it gave Link time to figure them out.

If hitting the body with the sword did nothing, then maybe hitting the eye would? But could not comfortably hit from that angle with his sword!

An epiphany came to him and Link facepalmed. Of course.

He took out his bow.

I hope I have enough energy for this… He was running low. He could tell.

Link stepped close. The eyes opened. Not all of them. Some.

They took a moment to turn around and face him. In that time, Link had already taken aim. He fired. One, two.

One down.

He then ran to the corner again because in that time the other statues got close to him. As predicted, once he got away, they shut down.

Alright. He could do this.

The "fight" took longer than he would have liked, the way he had to take out the statues one by one. But Link managed to do it with barely a scratch to show for it. Once the final statue vanished – leaving no glowing core behind – a torch high above lit up.

Link heard the hatch door and another door opening.

There was a treasure vault here. And inside, along with a knife and a pouch, was a key.

Link suddenly remembered the knife he had in his own boot and felt a bit stupid. He could have tried to force the door of that house open- no, that would not work. They were thieves, they would know all about trying to lockpick doors with knives.

After a small inner debate, Link decided to leave the knife and the pouch here. He did not want her having a blade on her person.

He swiftly left the room, used the switch orbs to get over the wall, leaped down and unlocked the door to the girl's cell.

Upon entrance she made a huge sigh of relief. "Ohh, thank you very much! You saved my life. Please take me outside."

Link was expecting the nausea at this point, so he did the best to ignore it.

"Well, you know where the painting is so I guess I'll have to-"

And the doors slammed closed.

"THERE HE IS! THAT'S THE NEWBIE WHO TOOK MY SPOT!"

Link's jaw dropped as he looked up.

"The doorman!"

"RUN!"

"Get 'em!"

"HAHA! That's what you get for getting me into trouble, fresh meat!"

The two ran straight to the northern door and Link automatically stepped on the switch, the girl two steps behind him. The door unlocked and they ran to the next room.

They barely turned around the corner when a group of thieves was upon them.

"STAY BACK!"

The girl obliged as Link bashed the first man with his shield, taking him by surprise, the second barely had time to lift his weapon as Link took a blind swing at him. He tacked the third, and hit him with the pommel of his sword right to the head. The other two recovered after that, but Link was already upon them. The man's cry of pain was enough to make Link's stomach curl. The Master Sword was a sharp blade.

He only sliced at their hands, fortunately. Link did not dare to look at the full extent of the damage before he was at the door, the girl right behind him.

It was another bottomless pit room.

Link was too much in a hurry to hesitate. They used the flimsy excuse of a fence bridge to get across. There was no path forward though.

"How do we get-"

"Switch."

Link turned into a painting and passed over the bottomless gap, pressing the switch. Immediately a fence platform emerged from one of the walls and she walked across, only for her path to get blocked again.

For Link, he just merged with the wall and passed through.

"THERE YOU-"

Link did not let the man finish as he knocked him out. He turned back to the girl. "Is this room supposed to be flooded?"

"HELL NO it's not!"

Link jumped in the water, thankful for his Zora flippers activating without his input. He could see some stuff beneath the water, but he ignored them as he swam across the room.

There. In a ledge across the blocked hallway, there was a fence sheet that he could use to get her through resting against the wall. He merged with the wall again and then unmerged, dropping that bridge across. She turned at him stunned but followed.

"Ugh, I don't know how to swim…"

"Switches."

"It's AWLAYS switches!"

Nonetheless, the two stepped on the two switches, and some of the underwater bars were lowered, allowing Link access. He dived in, leaving her behind. He passed under yet another metal fence bridge and found another glowing crystal platform, lowered enough for his to climb up. We climbed up and went across the bridge he just swam under, and he found a wall pump.

Good. Now he could drain the water.

Now that it was dry-ish, the girl jumped down. Link was rushing but-

"Wait!"

Link turned to face the girl.

"What?"

She pointed at a treasure chest behind bars.

Shit. She found his weak point.

A few seconds later they were a hundred rupees richer, who would get them was up in the air.

Link led the girl under the bridge next to the orb switch and glass platforms next to the water pump, bringing them up to its level. They crossed the bridge and found themselves in another glass platform and a dead end. Link could not quite hit the switch with his bow from here so he merged with the wall and walked over to its other side.

There it was. A staircase. Now he had to find a way to get the girl across.

There was another fence plank resting against the wall, and Link knocked it down, creating another makeshift bridge across the room. It did not help with her being stranded though. However, the second orb switch did, and a few seconds later the platform was raised at the level of the wall.

And that was when more thieves came running from the stairs.

If Link was on his own, he would have pushed down the makeshift bridge and cross the bottomless pit via wall merging, leaving the thieves stranded. But he could not do that here. They needed the bridge. He had to fight.

But the pit… If someone fell in that…

He merged into the wall.

The thieves startled enough to cease running, but Link was already on them. He crashed into one thief and pushed him against the other two with all his strength, enhanced by the power bracelets. They toppled on each.

Good. Now Link had to get them off the entrance.

Good thing the layout of this room was so weird.

For whatever reason the wall that he and the girl just crossed over did not go from one end of the room to the next. Instead it stopped short of reaching the staircase entrance, leaving an opening big enough to see the other end of the room. Big enough for a person to go through.

Right into the previously flooded area.

The thieves cursed when they realized that Link stranded them on the other side of the room. Link signaled to the girl but she was already crossing the platform, and the two ran up the stairs leaving the trio of thieves behind.

The next room was empty. There was simply a hatch in the- wait, was this the dead end room from the hallway?

"Oy, the other switch is up there, go get it!"

Link realized that the girl was standing on a switch on the floor. He looked at where she was pointing and saw a makeshift balcony made of fence with another switch on it; however, the a part of it was broken.

Link climbed the staircase that led there, crossed the gap with his merging and pressed the switch. The hatch opened.

"SHIT, they're here!"

There were men waiting behind the hatch.

Link leaped down, just in time to fend off a strike from one of the thieves. He grabbed her and pulled her close, trying not to feel disgusted, as they were surrounded.

"Giv' us the girl, lad. Mayb' we'll 'et ya go. Boss' orders."

Link turned to the girl. "Can you fight?"

"They took all my gear… plus, I'm starving…"

Link was about to snipe back about how he was also very fucking hungry and running too low on magic for comfort but he had bigger issues. Namely the thieves.

After this room was the hallway and then…

Link grabbed her arm and dashed.

"HEY!"

"WAIT, YOU LITTLE PUNK!"

Link ran through the hatch then straight across the corridor, right into the large room with the lone switch from before, the thieves right behind them.

To his surprise the girl pushed him – wow, she really IS feeble – right on it. "The switch!"

"Wha-"

"Hit the switch, kid!"

He did.

And the floor opened.

Link stared with what had to be an absolutely gobsmacked look on his face as the thieves plummeted into the darkness. After a long moment there was a distant "splash" sound and a lot of cursing, before the floor was back to normal.

"…why do you even have that switch?"

"Why do you think!? Come on, keep moving!"

The two moving lane rooms were easy to cross, now that Link knew – was pretty sure – that there was water at the bottom of the pits. The group that tried to assault them was dispatched easily, but that was what they got for trying to pick a fight on a moving floor.

They climbed another floor and that was when they were hit with another roadblock. It was the weird double half floors and wooden suspended paths room. He had gotten through with wall merging but now.

The girl cursed. "Why aren't the propellers active!?"

"I didn't need them."

"Then get to it, the switches are right there! Go there first!"

With the girl's instructions Link solved what would otherwise be a puzzle in record time. They really were identical to the propellers at the House of Gales, and soon they were both across and in the room.

"Hey, treasure chest. Wanna get it?"

Two switches later and they were a hundred rupees richer, the girl cackling madly.

In the bars and statues room, they were assaulted again. Link hit the orb switch. The bars were back on, trapping the girl between them.

"You idiots trapped yourselves-" Link merged with the wall and got out. "THE FU-" And the first thief was out. He knocked out the next one with similar ease and then he was back with the girl, switch deactivated.

She stared at him wide-eyed. "Why did you activate the bars?"

"In case they got you."

She did not say anything, just stared in open shock.

Link took a deep breath. Now that they were not running anymore, the nauseating feeling he had from before returned with full force.

"Out there is the exit. There's only one room I haven't looked into. The one with the big door. It's locked. What will you do?"

The girl shifted awkwardly, and maybe a little scared. "I'll keep an eye on the door, I guess."

That was probably as good an answer as he was going to get. He just had to find the key and watch his back.

The stepped out to the main entrance. Before them stood the doorman.

As soon as he spotted them he blew a gasket. "YOU! You are not a thief! You fooled me!"

Link could not believe this guy. "Your ultra-secret-thief-password-song isn't as secret as you think." Really, with half the town singing it out loud.

"You got me in trouble! They Boss is going to make you pay for this!"

The girl leaned against him to whisper in his ear. "What did you do to him?"

Link did not bother whispering. "I just said the password, he's the one who ditched guard duty on me."

"The boss will make you pay for this!" he yelled, waving his spear at them.

"Well, he'll have to come here first!" yelled the girl in defiance. "Where is he? We have some questions for him!"

At that, the doorman cackled. "He's right over there! Go on, it's unlocked!"

It was the large door at the right of the hideout entrance.

The girl scoffed. "This is so obviously a trap. Try do one better."

"…No." The girl and the doorman turned to him but he paid them no mind.

It was back. The feeling. So similar to the strange nausea he felt from being near this girl but with a hint of something else. Something he was intimately familiar with. The scar on his arm was tingling, and the blade at his back let out a note.

"He's here."

"…Uh… kid…?"

Link reached to his pouch for the flask of water, draining the last of it. It was not food so it would do nothing for his dwindling energy reserves, but he needed it and it was better than nothing. He then turned to the other two. "I'm going in. Don't follow me. He probably has the key on him."

He barely heard the doorman's confused "key?" over the girl's shouting.

"The hell, kid!? I've seen you fight and yeah you're really kind of really good at it, but the Boss? Nobody can fight the Boss!"

Link looked at her in the eye. "Is he a human?"

"Uh, yeah? The hell does THAT mean!?"

"Then he's not even close to the hardest thing I've fought."

He's not human there's no way he's a human said a voice in his head, but Link ignored it. He had a key and a Sage to retrieve.

"Yeah, right. Bullshit. I'm coming with you." Link's metaphorical hackles were raised at this proclamation.

"Finally I thought you'd be here forever-"

"Shut up bowl cut. Let's get going kid. I have a bone to pick with that bastard."

Link did not like this. He did not like this at all. "Don't get in my way. If there's a fight, stay in the back." The strange hunch he had this entire time, that she was going to attack him while his guard was down, came back at full force.

"Okay okay… I'll leave the fighting to the kid with the overly fancy sword. Got it."

Link nodded, trying to swallow down the bile that once again climbed against his throat.

With the girl behind him, he pushed the doors open.

---

There was a small chamber connecting the entrance and this new room. Link took the lead, sword and shield already in place.

He heard a huge slam.

"Gyaaa! What gives!?"

Link whipped behind him.

The gate was slammed closed with the very tiles he just walked on.

Link looked around the room. Absolutely gigantic, completely empty, and the walls were not connected to the floor at any point.

It was an arena.

A voice boomed with laughter, deep, cruel and evil, sending chills down his bones. "SILLY GIRL! DO YOU ACTUALLY THINK I'D LET YOU ESCAPE WITH YOUR LITTLE HERO?"

At the center of the arena, there was a sudden swirl of black smoke, unnatural. In an instant, a shape emerged from it.

That's NOT a human. Not even remotely.

What a merged from the smoke looked like a demonic Poe, mixed with something more sinister. It had no legs to touch the ground; its torso, unattached to any limbs, floated in place, huge and bulky clad in old cloth. Its head was a floating skull that looked like a wrapped Moblin mixed with something else, its eyeless sockets glowing with sinister lights and its fangs far too sharp. Its arms were simply bone, red just like the skull, cradling a massive claymore larger than Link himself, and a flat shield to match. As it swung them around a dark afterglow – if such a word was even accurate – was left behind.

Somehow, he knew that was the thieves' Boss.

Link prepped his sword and shield. He knew there was no way he could defeat this thing in a contest of strength. He had to be smart.

And suddenly the body of the monster turned transparent.

Link barely dodged the massive swing of the blade, nearly falling off the edge, merging into the closest surface out of pure reflex. It was only a few seconds later when he realized he merged with the thing's shield.

While he mostly lacked physical sensation while a painting, he almost felt dizzy from the way the monster was looking around.

Wait… was it looking for him?

As he "turned" to take a better look; its back is wide open.

Link remerged. It was solid again. He grabbed his chance; holding the Master Sword in both hands, he brought it down on the monster's back with a mighty swing.

The monster howled in pain.

Link leaped back to make some room for himself, get away from the gap. The monster turned around and stared at him like a hungry beast, before spitting out that same black smoke that it emerged from. He barely dodged, and then again when it swung its sword. Link rushed to it, because it was solid now, but it went transparent again and he barely avoided the swing of that sword and- there.

He merged with the shield, and the monster was once again sniffing around like the blind.

He felt like there was a joke there.

He emerged again and unceremoniously put his everything into the next blow, the Master Sword glowing brightly, trying to make the wound from before go even deeper – not that it had a physical body, but it was not the first time Link fought an opponent made of darkness.

And thus the beast howled in pain and the game of cat and mouse started again, with Link barely avoiding the stream of black smoke that emerged from that thing's mouth like some kind of dragon.

After a lot of dodging, Link managed to merge back with the shield again, noting with pleasure that the monster had left its back wide open again. He went for the most brutal strike he could manage; the monster's howls of pain was the only real indicator he had about how hurt it was.

Link once again scrambled back after his hacking session, ready to look for another opening.

And then the monster did something different. It took a long look at his shield, then at him, then back at his shield.

It figured it out.

It dropped the shield into the gap.

Shit.

Link had to fight it face on now. He knew he could not afford to get close to that sword.

Instead he pulled out his bow, feeling his energy dipping as soon as he drew the bowstring. It's solid.

He let go.

The arrow hit true, though it would be hard to miss with how big the target was. He quickly let out another, and then the monster swung its sword downwards, and Link barely scrambled away before the blade hit the ground, making the floor shake with the impact. He notched another arrow but it went wide, but he had no time to curse before he went for a third.

The monster spun around and raised its sword again, and Link ran just in time to avoid the blade smashing the very spot he was just standing on. Link was just firing arrows blindly at this point, his vision growing more blurry by the shot; he just knew he had to keep aiming at the white, and he could tell that some shots went wide.

Something black started swirling around the beast, and in his tired mind it took him almost too long to realize that the monster was preparing something.

And it started spinning.

Link ran.

He knew that attack, he had done it himself a few times just spinning around and letting his sword cut down whatever was near him but that thing kept spinning and spinning and moving and its swing was large enough to cover half the arena so all Link could do was move as fast as he could, not even a breath away from the blade that would undoubtedly chop his head off if he let it land.

After what felt like forever it stopped and Link jumped at the opportunity, taking advantage of its momentary pause to clumsily hack away at it; Link would have cringed if he did not know that he simply had to do as much damage as possible.

The monster regained its wits and turned intangible again.

And then its head split off.

Link stared in absolute disbelief as the skull left the body and started spinning around, spreading black smoke everywhere.

Then he realized that it was spreading black smoke everywhere. Link tried running, but that thing was on the move constantly, and now the body was solid and wandering around, and Link would get close if that goddesses-damned skull was not there forcing him away- the body was hacking away now blindly and there was his opening.

Link attacked. He just hacked away even when the black smoke washed over him for the first time, stealing his breath and making his skin and eyes sting and his heart clench and weakening the grip on his sword – is that poison – but the Master Sword had a sheen and it chased the dark away. He got away again and tried to take a swing at the skull but it would not sit still in one place so Link was once again avoiding the main body, waiting for the blind swings so he could finally have a stationary target.

No, he could not wait that long.

Instead he chased the main body, more dropping the sword on it than swinging it in his exhaustion, and he kept going and going choking in the black smoke until finally…

It disintegrated.

He dimly heard the sound of a bridge moving, and the girl yelling. The monster faded away in black smoke, leaving a human form behind – one that was one step away from becoming a Stalfos, impossibly thin and very obviously dead, clad in well made clothes with an expensive bag strapped in his waist.

He heard the footsteps next to him, and the girl's sharp intake of breath. He struggled to regain his own.

"Wow… looks like you got him…"

Link did not reply.

"Good riddance."

There was nothing more that could be said.

---

Author notes:

OK... This chapter. This fucking chapter. Where do I even START. I mean I knew it was going to be long but half of this came out of literal nowhere. Like; in the game you need to talk to four NPCs to get to the dungeon if you don't know the trick already but it's not the kind of dialogue Link would realistically run into. And the thing is, in the Hyrule section, it's rather obvious that Link has proper conversations with other people, you know? Parot exposition and all. But here's Lorule. And their home turf. There's no freaking way they'd just talk to some kid with such a pretty sword and there's no way Link is not tense as fuck because look at the last two chapters.

And the scene with the cult, I don't know HOW that spiralled so out of control because I was just copying the leader's lines and then I fleshed them out a bit because CULT and suddenly I ended up with a manhunt and literal carnage out of fucking nowhere. I actually wanted that scene to end with a funny note, you know? After the "AFTER HIM" Link would suddenly be at that shop selling bees describing how the skeleton cuccos got into a fight with the moblins but as I was writing that scene it turned into a mexican stand off that did not get me the ONE line of dialogue I wanted which was the song and so I scrapped like 1000 words for 2000 and that's how I ended up with a 5k+ intro.

Not to mention the dungeon itself. Human interaction. Crazy huh? Who would have thought that a place called "thieves' hideout" would have actual thieves in it! Do you know how many times I ended up accidentally killing people while writing that escape sequence and had to rewrite it? Too many for my peace of mind because I don't want to write THAT kind of fanfic damnit. Not to mention the hole LttP thing with the girl because I have established from Day 1 that Link is influenced by the Hero of Legend and this whole sequence rings ALL the alarm bells.

I wanted to write a light-hearted chapter damnit. Something that showed the more quirky nature of Lorule. I literally told as much to one of you over PMs. Instead I end up with this. Make no mistake, I'm proud of this chapter. Really proud. However, it was so exhausting to write, and as I'm writing this note it's like 4 in the morning because I wanted to finish this NOW it's only ONE boss fight. Thank LoFi girl. And this chapter is also the point when I ran out of my personal notes. Five years ago, I made notes for all chapters up to number 11, as well as what their titles would be.

Now I don't have old notes. I have to make new ones. I have a list of stuff that I need to adress in the next chapter and stuff I want to include but I have no idea how the next chapter will progress, how it will end or what the title would be because I'm drawing a blank here for the past month. Yeah, this took me over a month to write. Yeah, I know it's been over a year since the last update. Kind of pointless to apologize about this sort of thing now.

So yeah. That's it for me. I finished Minish Cap today (technically yesterday) as well, so that's something worth mentioning. I'm not telling you what the next chapter is because I don't know.

So please, talk to me. I feel like I'm writing this fic for seven people at most and only two are actually responding.

See you next time.

HelenTheMoon