Holly could feel a knot forming between her shoulder blades while she, Cassandra, and Graham approached the Haven chantry. Cassandra had become surprisingly calm regarding Graham's decision to ally with the mages rather than conscript them, but Holly wasn't eager to see the reactions of the other advisors, especially Cullen. Both Graham and Dorian had explained in further detail what they had seen, and that had left her stressed enough.
Cassandra strode ahead of them, and pushed open one of the chantry doors. Leliana, Cullen, and Josephine were standing in the center of the building, arguing already. Cullen looked predictably angry with his arms crossed against his chest, and Josephine also seemed somewhat upset. Leliana, on the other hand, looked noticeably pleased.
"It is not a matter for debate. There will be abominations among the mages, and we must be prepared," Cullen argued.
"If we rescind the offer of an alliance, it makes the Inquisition appear incompetent at best, tyrannical at worst," Josephine shot back.
Cullen caught sight of the approaching group and directed his ire at Graham, "What were you thinking, turning mages loose with no oversight? The veil is torn open!"
"And what were we supposed to do?" Holly demanded before Graham could say anything, "We need their cooperation. They were just fighting a war for our- their freedom, and they could've seen conscription as a path that would ultimately end in an attempt to force them back into the Circle. Regardless of your stance on the issue, I would hope that you can at least see how them believing that would just end in disaster."
"She's right," Graham nodded, "We are desperate for allies in general, so we cannot make enemies of those we need most. Not only that, but I would think you would be excited that they're cooperating so you can personally keep an eye on them to make sure they aren't possessed. Since you seem to keep worrying about it so much."
"I know we need them for the Breach, but some could do as much damage as the demons themselves!"
"Then we watch the troublemakers," Holly argued, "I'm sure that's what some of Leliana's agents are for. I will admit that some among the rebels are worrying, as is the case with any group, but that does not by any means apply to everyone. Some are genuinely fighting for their freedom. Some are young and got swept up in everything. Some are not as lucky as myself, and had nowhere else to go. There are many, many good souls among them. Just as not every templar is a monster."
Cullen looked helplessly at Cassandra while still trying to maintain a stern face.
"While I may not completely agree with the decision, I support it. The sole point of the Herald's mission was to gain the mages' aid, and that was accomplished."
"The voice of pragmatism speaks! And here I was just starting to enjoy the circular arguments."
They turned to see Dorian leaning against the pillars. Holly saw Graham relax at the sight of Dorian out of the corner of her eye. She decided to not comment on it. Cassandra simply shook her head, and said, "Closing the Breach is all that matters."
"I got a taste of the consequences if we fail. Let's make sure we don't," Graham said.
"We will not fail," Cassandra assured him.
"We should look into the things you saw in this 'dark future,'" Leliana said, "The assassination of Empress Celene? A demon army?"
Dorian interjected again, "Sounds like something a Tevinter cult might do. Orlais falls, the Imperium rises. Chaos for everyone!"
"One battle at a time," Cullen said and seemed to have finally calmed down, "It's going to take time to organize our troops and the mage recruits. Let's take this to the war room," he turned to Graham, "Join us. None of this means anything without your mark, after all."
"And here I'd hoped to sit out the assault on the Breach. Take a nap. Maybe go for a walk," Graham winked.
Cullen chuckled, "What is it they say? 'No rest for the wicked?'"
"Let us know when you are ready. You did just get back, after all," Josephine said, addressing Holly more than Graham.
"I'll skip the war counsel, but I would like to see this Breach up close, if you don't mind," Dorian said.
Holly watched as Graham's face lit up. He tried to hold back his grin, "Then… you're staying?"
He sounded genuinely happy as he spoke, causing Holly to narrow her eyes. She would've sworn that they had been flirting with each other on the way back from Redcliffe. She was starting to think that perhaps more had happened in the future than either was letting on, not that she was complaining. She simply wanted the proper ammunition to tease Graham with.
"Oh didn't I mention? The South is so charming and rustic. I adore it to little pieces."
"There's no one I'd rather be stranded in time with. Future or present," Graham said a little more sweetly than he probably intended.
Holly glanced at Leliana, who was wearing a barely noticeable smirk, and at Josephine who had a raised eyebrow.
It was Dorian's turn to grin, "Excellent choice! But let's not get 'stranded' again anytime soon, yes?"
"I'll begin preparations to march on the summit. Maker willing, the mages will be enough to grant us victory," Cullen informed them.
Graham nudged Holly as discreetly as he could. It took him muttering the word "talk" to realize what he meant. It hit her that this would be the best possible time to talk to Cullen privately. She almost blurted, "I'll help. It is part of my duties to organize the mages, isn't it? And with the rebels joining us, they will need help integrating with the soldiers."
"Fair enough," Cullen nodded.
There was a beat of silence before Graham said, "Well, then. I think we should reconvene this evening? I'm sure Cassandra, myself, and especially Holly have some things we need to attend to, and I would like some time to rest."
"This evening then," Josephine confirmed. She and Leliana said their goodbyes before they headed to her office. The tension seemed to loosen slightly in Cassandra's shoulders as she left the chantry wordlessly.
"I can help you get started on the plans for the Breach now, if you'd like," Holly told Cullen.
"Are you sure? You did just get back."
"I'm sure," she assured him. She saw Graham wink at her out of the corner of her eye, and she had to resist the urge to make a face at him. He clearly had a different idea of what her needing to talk to Cullen meant. That, or he was just being an ass. She decided it was the latter. She hoped it was the latter.
They said their goodbyes, Holly pulled up the hood of her cloak, and she and Cullen left the chantry for his tent. She was fairly certain she could hear Graham trying to flirt with Dorian. She couldn't help but roll her eyes despite the small smile on her face. If Cullen had noticed it, he hadn't shown it.
They walked in silence to his tent. She was too caught up in her own mind, and Cullen, from what she could tell, was struggling to find a good topic to talk about. She could see him scratching at the back of his neck out of the corner of her eye. It was such an obvious tell that he felt awkward that she wondered how he developed the habit.
He held open one of the flaps of his tent when they got there so she could enter. She stepped into the tent, and set her staff to the side. She pulled her hood back down, and turned in time to see Cullen patting the snow out of his hair. Despite her plans, she couldn't help but smile a little at how hard he was trying to not mess up his carefully styled curls. He awkwardly cleared his throat when he realized she was watching him, and his face flushed. She looked away to keep her mind on track. How he could make her so unbelievably frustrated one moment then have her swooning over him the next, she would never know.
She waited until he was standing behind his desk to start speaking. She clasped her hands behind her back and her voice came out as neutrally as she could manage, "Before we begin, there was something else I wanted to speak with you about."
He frowned slightly, "Is this about my health? I told you that I am fine."
"No, it isn't. Though, the fact that you thought it was is concerning, but that is a conversation for another day," she took a deep breath in an attempt to remain calm, "I want to know your real opinion of mages, Cullen. Not some sort of reassurance or vague statement, your opinion."
As expected, he looked cornered, and stammered, "I- what?"
She crossed her arms over her chest and repeated, "I want to know your real opinion of mages. Although you have been respectful towards me, some of the things you have said, especially today, have me concerned. I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt regarding your past as a lot can happen in four years. If anything, I would've hoped that what happened made you learn, but I can't do that without proof of changed behavior. I don't think I need to tell you that the Inquisition is quickly becoming a very powerful organization, and as the Commander, you are one of the most powerful members. People with that much power must be fair. When they aren't, we get stuck in situations like this."
He looked more shocked than angry. He clearly hadn't expected her to come after him like this. His face turned a few shades redder, and his mouth closed and opened a bit like a fish. She raised an eyebrow at him when he didn't respond. He cleared his throat again before he finally said anything, "I know that to you what I said may seem harsh, but-"
"But what? We're not monsters. The mages rebelled because instead of simply punishing those who did horrible things, and preparing for those cases, you treated every mage as though using blood magic and turning to demons was inevitable. Then they were punished for the littlest of things. You should damn well know just how insane things got. Some couldn't breathe without being accused, and anyone, anyone regardless of whether they are a mage or not will turn to desperate measures when pushed to that point. And while I wasn't there," her voice cracked slightly, "I did hear about it from those who were. Some of your escaped mages didn't become apostates. They went to other Circles. None who came to Ostwick mentioned your name, so I took the fact that I only heard your name specifically mentioned in relation to Hawke as a good sign, but now I'm second guessing that."
He visibly deflated as she spoke. His voice was uncharacteristically small when he replied, "There were corrupt mages though."
"And there were corrupt templars. Meredith being one of them. Every group has corrupt people. Mages, templars, the Chantry, the nobility, farmers, bakers, everyone! That is no excuse! Do you think that every mage is truly a threat? Do you think that I'm a threat?"
"Do I- No, no. I don't think that you're a threat," he almost shouted. He sighed deeply, pinching the bridge of his nose, "You're right. I let my anger about what the magister did get to me earlier, and I apologize. I will admit that I have not always viewed mages well, and I am trying to fix that. I'm glad that you're here to make sure that they are being treated well."
She frowned. It wasn't the answer she was hoping for, but it was the most honest one she had gotten so far. She believed him when he said that he was glad she was there, and she believed that it was a step in the right direction; even if it wasn't quite enough yet in her eyes. She allowed herself to relax, and took comfort that she was able to at least rant at him. Whether it would have any affect on him would be seen later. She looked him in the eye, relaxed but still challenging him slightly, "Then let's get to work."