Lost Boy

Chapter 9

Edward POV

The following day, Carlisle drove us back to the office for the signing of the papers. As he drove, I drifted off into my own thoughts, and the confrontation from the previous night came back to me full force.

I had just been given my drinks and was about to bring them back to Carlisle, when a breathy voice came from right beside me, as if from nowhere.

"Hey there."

I turned to look at him and my mouth went dry. It was that sadistic dude Aro. Fuck.

"Remember me? We had some fun a couple of nights ago."

I felt my face tighten. "It was not fun."

He chuckled darkly. "Oh, come on. Let's go again."

"No way in hell," I shot back, "My ass is still recovering from your assault."

"Assault?" he seethed. "I paid you to take my cock. That's your whole job. You knew what you were getting into, so it was hardly an assault."

"Really? Because you made sure to make it as painful as possible for me."

His brow furrowed and then he smiled. "What is pleasure without a little pain?"

"You fucking tore me!" I spat, keeping my voice quiet despite my anger. I didn't want anyone else at the bar to overhear.

"I am sorry about that. Why don't I make it up to you?"

I laughed hollowly. "I'm with someone."

"I'll pay you double."

This guy was a real piece of work. "I said no. I'm with someone. I'm not working tonight."

Then Aro had grabbed my arm and my emotions changed from anger to fear in an instant. God knew what this guy would do to me if I let him take me with him, and I struggled hard against his clutching grasp. Aro had surprising strength, and I thought I might lose this battle, but Carlisle rushed up suddenly and socked him in the face. I heard the sickening crunch when his fist connected with Aro's nose. Served that fucker right. I just stared in shock until Carlisle dragged me away.

Once we were up in the room again, Carlisle had given me a mind-blowing blow job, I told him about my past, and then we'd kissed. He had initiated it, but he didn't make any moves to deepen it - he left that up to me. And I found myself responding without even thinking, just becoming intoxicated by the scent of him and needing to know if he tasted the way he smelled. It was a kiss like no other I'd experienced before - Carlisle's lips were soft but firm, and his tongue was stronger than any woman's. I realized I really enjoyed the scratch of Carlisle's stubble against me skin.

Carlisle came in his pants from that kiss. I shouldn't have gone along with it. I knew he'd been wanting to kiss me, but I didn't expect it to go there. I was beginning to get concerned that Carlisle was forming an attachment to me, and it made me nervous. I really didn't want to hurt him, but I just couldn't see him that way. I may have been able to enjoy gay sex for work, but I wanted a female in my private life, one with soft boobs and a naturally slick place to nestle into. In any case, it seemed wise to be more careful around Carlisle, more reserved, so he wouldn't feel too let down when this was all over.

Which it was going to be very shortly. As soon as I signed those papers (and received my phony check from the Cullen Group), my job would be done. Carlisle would write me my real check and I would go start a bank account with it and rebuild my life. I should have been more excited about this, but a part of me cared about Carlisle's feelings, and I wanted to stay in touch somehow. I just wasn't sure it would be possible if he had a crush on me that I couldn't return.

"What are you thinking about?"

I shook my head and shrugged nonchalantly. "Nothing."

Sitting at a red traffic light, Carlisle leveled me with a long stare, like he knew I was thinking about him and was willing me to admit it. When I didn't say anything more, he asked, "Are you nervous?"

" Nah, Jenks won't be there, right?"

"Just Senna and my father."

"Easy."

We didn't speak again until we arrived. The silence wasn't as comfortable to me as it had been before. The elephant in the car was that this all was over once I signed those papers. But would it be? There was a nagging thought that kept whispering; I didn't want to never see Carlisle again. I liked him. But I didn't want to lead him on either, that would be cruel.

As we walked through the lobby of the office building toward his father's office, Carlisle carried himself confidently. But when I looked over at him, his eyes were far away. I'd give anything to know what he was thinking about. When we exited the elevator and started to walk down the hallway, Alistair's voice boomed from the door of his office.

"Carlisle, a word?"

Carlisle and I turned to see his father beckoning for him. Carlisle heaved a sigh and turned to face me. "I'll only be a moment, Liam. Do you mind waiting here? Then I'll take you in to sign the papers."

"Sure, no problem."

I watched as Carlisle made his way over to his father and disappeared into The Cullen Group entrance. Left alone in the wide, poorly lit hallway, I moved toward the floor to ceiling windows, taking in the magnificent view of the Los Angeles skyline from twelve stories up. A light brush of a hand on the back of my arm startled me out of my admiration. Unthinking, I flinched in surprise and quickly turned to find Gianna, looking lovely as ever, standing behind me, far too closely.

"Are you going back to Ireland now?" she asked, batting her eyelashes at me.

"Tonight, yes," I replied, my throat tight as my eyes got caught by her deep cleavage.

"Before you go, I need to...show you something."

She took hold of my hand and looked up and down the hallway, confirming no one was there. Then she pulled me into the men's restroom a few yards away, shut the door, and sauntered up to me, popping open the buttons of her blouse and slowly revealing her lacy, skimpy bra. I could see her large dusky nipples through the fabric and my cock hardened quickly.

"Do you like what you see?"

I could only nod dumbly.

"I noticed you couldn't take your eyes off me at the meeting yesterday. Well, I think you're hot too, so I thought I'd give you a little parting gift." She ran her hand down her body until it came to rest between her legs. Looking back at her face, her lips were parted, her eyes hooded, and she looked ready for the taking.

Swallowing hard, I couldn't think of a reason not to take what she was offering. It had been so long since I'd gotten my dick wet, and I found myself powerless to resist her invitation. My cock was leaking, certainly leaving a damp patch on my trousers, as she pressed her soft body against mine. Grabbing her waist, I turned her around and leaned her against the wall of the row of toilet cubicles. She quickly lifted her legs and wrapped them around my waist.

"It has to be quick," I whispered in her ear. " Carlisle will come looking for me."

"I'm ready now, baby," she crooned, rubbing her crotch against mine. "Fuck me with your thick Irish cock."

She kissed me then and I let her, deepening it with my tongue and emulating what my dick was about to do to her. She slipped a hand between us and unzipped my trousers, pulling my cock from the boxer briefs and pressing it against her slick folds. The shock that she was without underwear made me throb and I groaned as I sank inside her heat.

We settled into a rhythm, fast and deep, our moans echoing against the bathroom walls. My balls were drawing up toward my body. I was close but I couldn't bring myself to care - it felt so damn good to be fucking someone after so long. An image popped into my mind, of Carlisle in my arms, against the wall, speared by my cock, his tight ass surrounding me. My cock was on the verge of exploding when I was startled by the restroom door slamming open.

"Edward!"

I froze in mid-pump at the sound of Carlisle's shocked and angry voice, my orgasm receding from the precipice.

"Edward?" Gianna questioned angrily. "Who the hell are you talking about, Carlisle? Get the fuck out!" Gianna yelled, still impaled on my waning erection.

I gently let Gianna's legs slip down until she was standing and I stuffed myself back in my trousers before turning to look at Carlisle. His face was etched with anger but his eyes held something different. Betrayal.

"Ed-," he began, then stopped himself. "What the hell are you doing, Liam? We have papers to sign. Gianna, leave us please."

Gianna shoved past him as she hastily buttoned up her blouse, giving him the finger on her way out the door.

For a few moments, we just stared at each other, Carlisle's shock and anger slowly ebbing away, replaced with hurt. When he spoke, his voice was strained.

"Edward, how could you?"

Annoyed by his interruption and his anger, I shot back, "How could I what? Fuck a girl? I told you over and over, Carlisle. I'm. Not. Gay!"

Carlisle gave an involuntary gasp. "I... I just thought…"

I softened my tone a little. "You thought wrong. I'm sorry, Carlisle. I appreciate what you've done for me, but it will never be what you want it to be. This was just a job. I've always been straight."

Carlisle sucked in a sharp breath and his eyes got glossy. I swallowed hard, hoping he wouldn't cry. He looked like he might, but he composed himself and pulled a folded slip of paper from his back pocket. He held it with two hands for a moment, staring down at it before unfolding it.

"Edward, I no longer require your services. I don't want you to come back to the hotel." He took a few steps forward and held out the paper to me.

Taking it, I realized it was a check. I looked up at him quickly, confusion creasing my brow. "Carlisle, I haven't signed the papers yet."

His shoulders were slumped and he wouldn't meet my eyes. "I don't care. Just take the money and get out of my sight."

"But what are you going to tell the others?" I pressed him.

"Does it really matter to you? Just. Get. Out."

Shoving the check into my front trouser pocket, I glared at him as I stalked past, slamming the door wide open. It should have slammed into the wall outside from the strength with which I pushed it, but the door caught on something softer. I heard a gasp and a pained groan as I walked through, and when the door swung closed behind me, I saw that Gianna had been behind the door, her hand cupped over her nose which dripped with blood. She stared at me wide-eyed, but my glare just grew icier as I stared down the eavesdropper before stalking away, concerned Carlisle might follow me. As angry as I was about Carlisle's reaction, I hoped Gianna wouldn't say anything about what she heard.

The long bus ride back to my neighborhood gave me plenty of time to get my head together. Or try to. My thoughts had changed from feelings of anger that Carlisle had burst in like that and embarrassed me, and disappointment that I didn't get to finish with Gianna. Now, they were consumed with Carlisle and what I'd done to him.

I felt incredibly stupid for allowing myself to be seduced by that girl. Being inside her was definitely amazing, I missed the squeeze and slide of wet warmth on my shaft. Blow jobs were great, but being inside someone else, their body pressed against yours, their hot breath ghosting over your neck, nothing compares. But I didn't enjoy it as much as I could have. I couldn't help wondering what Carlisle would feel like wrapped around my cock. The thought made me even harder, the coil in my belly tightening, about to burst through me, and I had pummeled into her, harder, faster. And then, Carlisle's voice - strained, pained - and his face - such anger, such hurt.

My heart constricted at the memory, and the bus had reached my stop. I clutched my chest as I crossed the street in the direction of the apartment. I felt things when I had slept with Carlisle that I didn't feel when hooking up with this girl. I stopped walking and leaned against the brick wall of the building next to me. Realization crashed over me - I didn't want to lose him. But I didn't want a relationship with a man...did I? I'd thought of Carlisle while fucking Gianna— what did that say about me? Was I actually gay? I felt panic start to rise in my chest, and I thought I might have a full-on attack, but the nearby church bells pulled me out of the wormhole I was falling into.

They tolled four o'clock, and I moved on toward home. Emmett would surely be there, maybe just waking up for his night shift on the street. When I arrived home, I wound up on the couch next to Emmett, telling him what had happened over the last few days. I told him everything, the near disastrous luncheon, the encounter with Aro, Carlisle's obviously growing feelings for me, the kiss, and then my dalliance with Gianna that ruined everything. Finally, I admitted I hadn't even finished the job, but Carlisle paid me anyway.

Emmett listened to everything and never interrupted. When I went quiet, he sucked in a deep breath and let it out on a whistle as he sank back into the cushions, resting his arms across the back of the couch.

"Wow, Edward, you really did a number on this guy."

Rubbing my face in my hands, I sighed. "I know. I didn't mean to hurt him."

"I don't know if fucking a chick in the bathroom of the office was the best idea you ever had."

"Yeah, thanks. No shit. I already feel guilty."

Emmett wasn't fazed by my abruptness. "Hmmm, well, maybe you should feel guilty. You might not want a romantic relationship with the guy, but he was trying to help you get out of this life."

"Fuck, Emmett, I know! Why are you rubbing it in?"

He sighed and crossed his leg at the ankle over his other knee. "Cuz you look like shit, bro." He gestured vaguely in my direction. "I think you care about this dude more than you want to admit."

Grimacing, I asked through clenched teeth, "What makes you say that? I haven't let him fuck me again."

Emmett gave me a pointed look. "You kissed him, Edward. You kissed him, but you're straight. Kissing is reserved for girls. And yet, you kissed him." Why did he have to keep repeating the word kissed! When I didn't answer, he continued, "Did you like it?"

I did like it, but I couldn't say it out loud. Instead I looked down at my hands. Emmett could see the truth in my face and in my lack of response though. He sighed and grabbed my shoulder, squeezing it gently, supportively.

"You don't need to label yourself, Edward. You can care about someone for who they are, not what's between their legs."

Shaking his hand off my shoulder, I stood up from the couch. I didn't have a response, and the way the conversation was going was freaking me out. Seeing the check on the coffee table, I picked it up. Eight thousand dollars, made out to cash. I realized then that Carlisle didn't know my last name. I wondered if the bank would even allow me to open an account with a check like this. I noticed the address in the top left corner said San Francisco. Carlisle wasn't even based in LA. I'd probably never see him again. If I wanted to find him, I'd have to go north, but was the address his home, or another office? Why was I even thinking of following him? My head started to pound with a stress migraine.

"I'm gonna go to bed."

Emmett nodded slowly. "Ok, Eddie, I get it. Take care of yourself. Think about what I said, though."

I nodded back and headed for my room, drawing the curtains to make the room as dark as it could be for late afternoon. Stripping away my Liam clothes, I crawled under the covers in only my shorts and did my best to shut off my mind and not think about Carlisle's brokenhearted expression as I tried to get some sleep.