Everything today was slow around the ex-Smash House. Pichu and Young Link were playing Grand Theft Auto on the Xbox. (Because now they think Nintendo is lame.) No one ever really knows what Mewtwo is up to, probably practicing some of his old moves they wouldn't let him use in the tournament. Or maybe plotting revenge against the stallion ducks. Like I said, no one really knows. Roy was watching a movie on the brand new laptop he had purchased with Master Hand's debit card. They weren't sure if they should tell him they have it, but they probably won't. And last but not least, Dr. Mario was cooking something for dinner. As usual, it was Italian. Because the good doctor himself was Italian. And a doctor. And a plummer. And a lot of other things as well that won't be listed because that would make this chapter a lot longer than what I, the author, really feel is necessary.

At the smell of some sort of tomatoey sauce, the youngest ex-Smashers immediately turned off Grand Theft Auto and crowded around the kitchen table, Roy following after them.

"I never-a-said it was-a-ready yet. It's-a-your turn to-a-cook tomorrow, Roy," the doctor stated.

"Yeah, whatever," the redhead sassily replied in response.

"It looks ready to me," Young Link said.

"Me too," Mewtwo agreed.

Everyone in the room jumped at the purple Pokémon's sudden appearance, especially because he wasn't here five seconds ago. Or maybe he was and no one noticed. The world will never know. The damn shifty bastard.

"How did you get here?!" Pichu asked the feline-looking Pokémon, shock still on her face.

"Teleportation."

Ok, maybe the world will know.

"How did you do it?" The green-clad Hylian asked him.

"Like this." And with that, Mewtwo was out of sight again.

"That asshole, I want to teleport too," Roy said in response to Mewtwo's departure.

"I heard that."

Everyone turned around and saw Mewtwo behind them.

"Staph doing that dude!" Roy shouted, clearly getting frustrated with the teleporting pussy. Hehe, pussy…

"It's-a-ready!" Dr. Mario said to break the tension between the swordsman and the Pokémon.

"Finally", Pichu replied. "We've been waiting for hours."

"Pichu, it's-a-only been-a-half hour."

The five ex-Smashers gathered around the table, each filling their plates with whatever Dr. Mario has concocted for the evening meal. Honestly, I'm not sure what it was, some sort of pasta dish. Again.

"Guys, if we have Master Hand's debit card, why don't we just go out to eat everyday?" Young Link asked.

"Y'know, that's a very good point," Roy said. "What the fuck have we been doing all our lives? Especially Dr. Mario, he always cooks shit for us when he doesn't have to. Kid, I think that's the smartest thing you've said this whole time!"

The group ate the meal in silence, with Roy contemplating to himself on this spectacular discovery that Young Link had made.

~With the current Smashers at the Smash Mansion~

"Ok, so I have an important announcement to make, which is why I have gathered all 20 of you here-" Master Hand started.

"I have a question," someone had said.

"Yes Ness?" The large floating hand replied.

"Where's Dr. Mario, Young Link, Roy, Pichu, and Mewtwo? And their seats are missing too…"

"Umm, yeah about that… See with the newcomers coming here and stuff, we had to cut some people, and yeah. So they all got cut from the Brawl tournament. So, now to introduce the newcomers, give it up to Crazy Hand!"

"HEY GUYS! WAZZZUPP MY HOMIE?" Crazy Hand asked while heading straight to Ganondorf. He grabbed the large Gerudo man in his, well, hand, and tried to give him a hug.

"GET OFF OF ME!" The Gerudo tried to retaliate by Warlock Punching the hand, but seeing as he can float, he flew up in the air and dropped Ganondorf. Owning the Triforce of Power, he was able to casually walk back to his seat, sustaining zero injury despite being dropped from the top of a 100 foot auditorium. Crazy Hand just left the facility, complaining about the lack of kool-aid coming from the drinking fountains. Everyone still being upset about the cut ex-Smashers, they all kinda moped around, some a lot more than others, (Looking at you, Bowser and Ganondorf…)

"So I guess I'll announce the newcomers then. Let's welcome Diddy Kong, Ike, King Dedede, Lucario, Lucas, Meta Knight, Olimar, Pit, Pokémon Trainer, R.O.B, Solid Snake, Sonic the Hedgehog, Toon Link, Wario, and Wolf. Please take your seats."

Everyone clapped for the arrival of the newcomers, much like the Original 12 did when the Melee newcomers came to join them. Then an unfortunate soul pipped in.

"I have a question," the same agonizingly painful voice, belonging to the one and only Ness, shared his thoughts.

"What is it now, Ness?" The white hand asked the small boy.

"Why did you cut one Link just to add another? That's kinda dumb." (Holy shit, Ness said something logical, no way…)

"I don't know, Ness. It's what was decided."

"I have a question." At hearing this, Master Hand started twitching his… hand. Soon, the twitching got so bad, it turned to full on shaking and the large hand turned to face the boy.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK COULD BE SO INPORTANT ABOUT YOUR QUESTION THAT YOU HAVE TO ASK IT YOU INSIGNIFICANT WHELP! I SHOULD HAVE JUST CUT YOU INSTEAD OF THE OTHER FIVE! AT LEAST THEY ACTUALLY HAD FANS AND THEY BROUGHT US A LOT MORE REVENUE THAN YOU WOULD EVER DREAM OF YOU LITTLE SHIT! BUT I CAN'T SINCE YOU'RE AN ORIGINAL! SATAN FUCK ME!"

"Err, never mind."

With that, the veterans came and introduced themselves to the newcomers, most seeming to get along with everyone (still looking at you Bowser and Ganondorf). Let's look at one scenario, shall we?

"Hey guys!" Ness said to Toon Link and Lucas, who were carrying on a surprisingly intelligent conversation for their ages. Probably about politics.

"See, this is why Bernie needed to be president, but noooo, we just have a retarded orange with a toupee and an old lady." Toon Link said.

"Who would be his Vice?" Lucas asked.

"Harambe."

"I'm Ness," Ness said, interrupting the conversation.

"I would say my name, but I don't think associating myself with you would be in my best interest," Toon Link announced to Ness.

"I'm Lucas."

"That's cool, hey wanna hang out? I have the new Pokémon game!" (SAVE YOURSELVES GUYS! DON'T DO IT!)

"Not right now, I have to practice for the tournament. Or ever."

"Me too." (YOU GUYS ARE VERY SMART, KEEP IT UP!)

"Ok, maybe next time."

"Yeah, sure."

Ness walked away, looking back at his new friends, still having the same conversation that they were a few moments ago before he came over there. He thought he heard his name thrown in there a few times, but decided to ignore it, thinking they changed their minds about coming over for the new Pokémon game.

Just then, Crazy Hand came bursting in with a hand full of pizzas. You could get high off of just smelling them. I wonder why..

"What kind of pizzas are those?" Link asked the other large hand.

"Anchovy and kush," Crazy Hand replied to the green-clad adult. "Aww shit, brother, why didn't you tell me there would be kids here? I wanted to watch the new Filthy Frank TV video with my pizzas."

"It's TvFilthyFrank. If you watch the Papa Franku, for crying out loud, at least get the name right. Besides, you're a hand. You couldn't eat of you tried," Wolf told the insane hand.

"Wha-what d-did you say?" The hand started crying, tears raining from his… (god dammit the hands don't have eyes)... fingertips. Every Smasher, Newcomer and Veteran alike, decided it would be for the best if they all just left the auditorium. That way, they wouldn't have to be scarred for life from what they would hear if they remained there. Unfortunately, Crazy Hand's sobbing could be heard from miles away. Now Master Hand was very sad he cut Dr. Mario, since everyone now needed hearing tests.

~At the ex-Smash House~

"What the…" Mewtwo said, being interrupted from meditation by some very loud noise. It almost sounded like someone was crying. But being the shifty bastard who likes to teleport on people, he decided not to investigate and just went to bed.