Chapter Six: no tears left to cry
"Peter Parker you get the hell off that ship right now!" Donatella was fuming as the unfamiliar spaceship landed on the tarmac of the compound. Pepper stood beside her, arms crossed as Don held the communications device up to her mouth, preparing to yell at the kid again. She didn't have to, however, as the Benetar's hatch opened, Peter stepping off sheepishly, strangers lined up behind him.
"Dude, is that your mom?" a large man asked, and Peter gave a sharp shake of his head, shooting an embarrassed smile at Don.
"H-hey, Donnie, how's everything?" he shuffled forwards, still in his suit. She pursed her lips, ignoring Pepper as the woman stormed towards where Tony was trying to skulk off.
"You hopped onto a foreign spacecraft and you've been missing for the past ten days. How do you think everything is?" she seethed, striding forwards, and he flinched before she yanked him into a hug, and he relaxed as he wrapped his arms around her. "I should have Bucky kick your ass for worrying me so much." she stepped backwards with narrowed eyes.
"Hey guys!" she flinched when she heard the… raccoon approach behind her. She was still getting used to that one. The tree as well. The pair made more sense when she saw the rest of the crew from the Benetar, a woman with antennae, a man with strange markings on his skin, and a woman that was entirely green. They were all stunning, but she still wasn't quite used to the idea that people from the far ends of the galaxy were standing in front of her. She didn't really glance twice at the regular dude, she'd seen enough human males to last her a lifetime.
"Mr. Barnes would never kick my a-butt." he corrected his language when he saw Bucky's shadow looming over his shoulder. "H-hey Bucky." he smiled sheepishly.
"Ah, there's my favorite arm! Is it for sale yet?" the raccoon walked up to the little group, and she couldn't help but stare down at it.
"My wife made it for me, I wouldn't sell it for anything." Bucky smirked down at Rocket. How the hell was he cool with talking to it-him?
"Wife?" Don frowned at him, crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't remember hearing any vows."
"So you're the arms dealer?" the raccoon laughed at his own joke, and she glanced down at him, his interested gaze gleaming at her. "How much do I gotta pay you for one of those things?"
"You've got all your limbs. Call me if you lose one." she rolled her eyes with a smirk. "Now, Peter…" she frowned when she realized the kid was no longer next to her. "Peter!" she shouted, and the other man from the Benetar flinched, looking over to her.
"Jesus, what?" he asked, looking alarmed.
"No, not you, I… where'd the kid go?" she asked, feeling frustrated.
"Tony took him inside a minute ago. Pepper told him you brought the kid a change of clothes." Bucky replied, and she sighed, rubbing her temples.
"We need to figure out what the hell we're supposed to tell May." she glanced back to him, and he frowned.
"I think Stark should handle that. We're in charge of acclimating the new guys." Bucky reminded her, and she looked back towards the newbies.
"Ah… you're right, you're always right." she let out a puff of air. "Okay, everybody, my name is Donatella, I'm here to help you all out and getting you settled for the time being."
"Well, we aren't staying long. We've got other planets to keep an eye on." the other Peter replied, and she nodded in understanding.
"Still, I'd rather not leave you high and dry. This is Bucky, he can also help you out. Anybody have any medical emergencies?" the green woman gave a glare towards Peter, and he meekly raised his hand, one of his fingers hanging completely wrong.
"Broke it in a fight." he explained. The green woman rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.
"He broke it trying to get his zune from behind the seat when he dropped it. Got his hand stuck and broke his finger." the woman explained, stepping forward to reach her hand out. "I'm Gamora." she didn't smile, but she had a comfortable expression. Donatella shook her hand and then stepped towards Peter.
"Well, we'll have to get you something better than a Zune." she grabbed his hand, examining the offending finger.
"Better than a Zune? I don't think that possib-agh!" he screeched when she popped the finger back into it's socket.
"It was just dislocated. There could be a hairline fracture, but it's so swollen that I'd need to take an x-ray to determine it. Bucky can bring you to the lab. And, Peter, there are so many things that are better than a zune." she handed her first patient off, and Bucky gave her a kiss on the cheek as he walked off, the other Peter trailing behind him, looking a bit lost. She turned back around, but her knees almost buckled as she saw someone new walking off the ship. "Oh, holy shit." she bit her lip as she saw the robot. Sure she was attractive, but somehow seamlessly android and living at the same time.
"I know right?" Rocket murmured from beside her. "She's awesome."
"Gamora." the robot's voice was husky with a metallic twinge to it, similar to how Arnold sounded. He hadn't been brought to Wakanda, and she'd only seen him a handful of times since she'd returned, but he was doing much better with her new treatments and replacement parts for the garish pieces that had adorned him previously. She'd have to ask this new android if she could give her any advice for Arnold. "Where did Quill go? I need to speak with him about Knowhere." the android didn't look at anyone except for Gamora, pretending like the rest of the group didn't exist.
"He's inside, Nebula, we'll go in in a minute." Gamora replied, turning back to Donatella. Pitch black eyes focused on her, and Donatella swallowed at the attention from Nebula.
"Oh, I am Mantis. And this is Drax." the one with antennae announced, coming forward to shake her hand the same as Gamora had done, but her head cocked to the side as she looked straight into her eyes. It was a little freaky, how intensely she looked at her. "And you are happy, but also very sad."
"W-what?" Donatella yanked her hand back, gnawing at her lip. Mantis smiled.
"I am sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I can sense your emotions when I touch you, and when we shook hands I couldn't help but feel your emptiness."
"What am I sad about?" she asked, alarmed. Mantis merely shrugged.
"I can't tell from a touch alone. Only you would know." she replied.
"Come on, Mantis, stop reading people's minds. I'm hungry. Do you have zorg nuts?" Drax asked, and Donatella honestly had no idea what to say.
"...I'll ask." she ran her hand through her hair, turning away to lead them inside the building. "I'll show you guys the living quarters."
"Do you live here?" Gamora asked, and Donatella shook her head.
"No, I live in the city. New York, you ever heard of it?" she glanced back at the group, and they all gave her blank stares. "Okay, never mind then."
"What's wrong with living here?" Nebula asked, her voice nearly unsettling as she fell into step just behind her, keeping Don close in her sights.
"I like to keep my work life and my personal life separate." she tried to explain, but got a handful of blank stares again.
"Aren't you one of these… Avengers?" Mantis asked in a hushed voice as if it were some big secret.
"Oh, god no, I'm just a doctor." she felt a bubble of laughter escape her at that.
"A doctor?" Nebula asked, cocking her head to the side. "I didn't realize your group of heroes had one on retainer."
"Well, I'm not working here because of my medical skills. I'm also a researcher, I work with bioengineering." Donatella explained as they all got into the elevator.
"I am Groot." the tree said, and Rocket shrugged.
"He asked what that means." Gamora translated.
"Oh, well it means I research ways to use technology to, uh, help with medical problems. Things like cancer detecting nanobots and mechanical heart sleeves." Don explained, though they didn't look any less confused. She decided to leave it at that. Her job wasn't that important, after all. They stepped out of the elevator and she showed them their rooms, then introduced them to FRIDAY, who would be able to help them navigate the building if they needed to get anywhere else. Then it was time for her to get to work. She stepped back into the elevator, hitting the button to bring her to the floor that had the labs on it. She tapped her foot impatiently, already waiting for the day to be over. Of course she had a lot of things to get done, but she needed to meet with Pepper sometime during that day. While Tony had been taking his sweet time getting home from space, Donatella had picked up the slack planning the Pepperony wedding. It was quite fun, actually, and had been giving her a ton of ideas for hers and Bucky's. They were having a much smaller ceremony than the extravagant party that Pepper and Tony wanted, but there were still things that she had to decide on for their rapidly approaching wedding date. She made a mental note to go over her binder with Bucky and get his opinion, and especially with finding the caterer. Only four and a half months to go.
"About time." Peter Quill moaned as she entered the sliding glass doors of the lab, and she rolled her eyes, glancing at Bucky to see his face ripe with irritation.
"Yes, well, we're a bit understaffed here for now. A lot of rebuilding in Wakanda has taken up most of our resources." Don defended herself as she stalked over to the gingery male. He pursed his lips, looking like a kid. She rolled over a cart with a small x-ray screen on it, yanking his hand over to the side before laying a lead apron on him and stepping back behind the counter, clicking the button to take the x-ray.
"What the hell was that? What is this thing? Is this dangerous?" he balked, but kept still when she approached once more, pushing the cart with the machine on it off to the side and taking the lead apron off of him.
"It's just an x-ray, I'll print it off in a minute and I'll show you." she tried to give him a reassuring smile, and he cradled his swollen hand to his chest with a suspicious look. "Aren't you from earth? They had x-rays when you were a kid." she sighed.
"Well, excuse me for not remembering some things about my earth experience." he replied with hostility, and Bucky shot her a look. She hadn't seen him like that in a while, it reminded her of when they first were living together and he was completely done with her. It was nice to know he still got annoyed so easily. She shot him a grin before heading to the attachment lab, retrieving the print and bringing it back into her medical lab. She clipped it up to the board, turning the light on to examine the picture.
"This is the finger you dislocated, but it doesn't look like you have any other damage. It might take awhile before it's back to full strength, so be careful with it. I can print off a brace for you, but I won't waste the resources if you're not going to wear it." she glanced over to him, where he already seemed bored. He'd been poking at something that he definitely shouldn't be, and he jumped back to attention, Bucky stifling a laugh from the corner of the room, where he'd perched himself on a stool he usually gravitated towards.
"I-I would wear it." he defended himself, looking back down at the notes on the countertop behind him. "But only if you tell me what this is?" he held up the papers, and she squinted at it before pursing her lips.
"Those are some notes for my biomolecular regenerative technology, it's an alternative to chemotherapy. You know what chemotherapy is, right?" she asked hesitantly as he frowned.
"My mom died of brain cancer." she froze at his words, her stomach sinking.
"I-I'm sorry, I didn't realize…" she trailed off, one of her hands immediately coming up to rest on his shoulder. He flinched slightly at the contact, but never looked away from the papers.
"My dad put the tumor in her head. Long story." he waved off her look of confusion. "Inoperable, only could give her a ton of chemo and hope it would work. It didn't." she bit her lip as he looked up at her, something dark lurking in his eyes.
"Sometimes things that should work don't." she supplied, and he gave a slight nod.
"Does this work?" he asked, holding the papers up again. She hesitated before nodding her head. His eyes squeezed shut, a shuddering breath leaving him as he shook his head.
"Why now? Why didn't this happen earlier?" he demanded, shaking the notes in her face. Bucky was suddenly between them, pushing Peter Q. back and keeping distance between him and Don.
"Buck, Bucky it's fine." she nudged him off to the side before looking back up at Quill. "Peter, I'm not going to lie. It wasn't easy to make that, I'm not trying to say only I could have done it, but it was hard. But I did it. Not a lot of people could see where things needed to go, what had to be done. I wish that it could have been used way before I was even born, I wish someone could have figured it out before me. But all I can say is that it's finally here, and I hope that people won't have to lose anybody anymore." tears were shining in his eyes, and he shut them again before giving a sharp nod.
"I-I think I'm gonna go. Thanks, for fixing my finger." he whisked from the lab, and Donatella let out a shaking breath before sitting in a chair rubbing her hand over her face. Bucky crouched in front of her, placing his hands on her leg to get her attention.
"You ok?" he asked quietly, and she took another breath before giving him a small smile.
"I'm fine. It just sucks. People got mad, real mad when I came out with it. They thought it was an easy fix, a perfect cure, and so many people had already lost loved ones to it… and they were mad at me for not coming out with it sooner, mad at the whole scientific community for not figuring it out sooner." she explained, choking on her tears. His eyes looked sad, those baby blues absolutely killing her in that moment. "How am I supposed to make all those deaths right, Buck? It's like their blood is on my hands."
"Hey. It isn't your fault that this couldn't be done until now. You've got a brilliant mind, and they have no right to be upset with you about making something great." he said sternly, and it honestly made her feel better. "They're only upset because it took so long. But you made things better for them, okay? You're more of a hero than all of the Avengers combined." he smirked, and she gave a soft laugh.
"I don't know about that, but it's nice that at least you appreciate me." she shot him a lopsided smile, carding her hands through his hair as he grinned up at her.
"I'm glad we're finally back to normal." he sighed, leaning into her touch as she scratched her fingernails gently over his scalp, bracing his elbows on either side of her legs, practically laying down in her lap. She stifled a giggle at his actions, he was like a puppy.
"So, the Stark wedding is in three weeks." she mentioned, and he tilted his head up, giving her a curious look.
"I know." he said, eyes twinkling as he waited for her to continue. She bit her lip with a smile.
"I know you know, I'm just kind of excited. It feels like my dad is getting married." she laughed, and a corner of his mouth twitched up.
"Tony isn't that old." he leaned his head into her hand as she trailed it down over his cheek.
"Yeah, you're, what, a hundred and one now?" she teased him. "Kind of crazy to think about." he rolled his eyes.
"You're only twenty six. I'm a cradle robber." he smirked back at her. She let out a soft laugh, going back to running her hands through his hair. She did like the short, soft locks, they made him look cleaner and more handsome. Not that she disliked his long hair, but she couldn't play with it like she could now, it would get tangled too easily.
"Hey, I'm barely twenty six, my birthday was only a few months ago."
"Still counts." he sighed, laying his head down in her lap, groaning. "Is today over yet?" he mumbled, his warm breath puffing against her thigh.
"We're not even to lunch yet, angel." she laughed, and he let out another loud groan.
"Woah, what am I walking into?" Donatella whipped her head towards the door as Tony entered, dressed impeccably and carrying a bag of some mystery snack. His new obsession was "labelless food" that made it impossible to tell what he was eating until he pulled it out.
"A private moment." Bucky slowly stood, taking his time and cracking his back before turning to face Stark.
"Well, you lovebirds are in my compound, so I don't appreciate the dissent in the ranks." Tony replied breezily, coming to a stop right in front of Don's chair.
"Did Pepper give your ass a whooping?" Don teased, and Tony pursed his lips.
"You know, I really hate how you two gang up against me." he rolled his eyes, just barely visible through tinted glasses. "I needed to speak with you about Peter."
"Well, I already yelled at him earlier, do you want me to apologize? Because I'm mad at you, too, for letting him get on that ship." she crossed her arms and legs, giving him a serious look.
"Okay, not about that Peter, I mean Quill. He's blasting trees outside and won't speak to anyone, last I heard he was in here with you. What crawled up his ass?" she frowned, realizing that their conversation had upset him more than she'd thought.
"His mom died from a brain tumor. He found out about the cure." Tony's lips parted for a moment, as if he was about to speak, but nothing came out. It was the first she'd seen him at a loss for words, and he cleared his throat, closing his mouth again.
"I see." Tony glanced at Bucky, probably thinking about his own parents' deaths. Bucky avoided his look, staring at the floor. "I'll talk to him."
"You should tell Gamora, actually. I'm sure she'll be able to get through to him better than we could." Donatella replied, and Tony hesitated before nodding.
"Also, just wanted to be clear on something, I did not let Peter go onto that ship. He followed me up and overrided Karen's protocols all on his own." he sniffed, spinning on his heel and digging into the foil packet, pulling out a yogurt covered fruit, not hesitating to pop it into his mouth.
"I think he needs an authority figure that actually follows the rules." Don glanced at Bucky with a grin, and he smirked back.
"The kid is from Queens. He'll never listen to anybody." Bucky shook his head as Tony made his way to the exit.
"Oh, and will one of you please get that raccoon out of the weapons vault? I don't need him messing up my suits." Tony called out before leaving the lab, and Donatella stifled a laugh.
"Not it." she grinned at Bucky, and he turned to her with an irritated huff, a pouty look on his face.
"Can't believe I'm in charge of babysitting a trigger-happy raccoon." he groaned, stalking towards the door in a way that she found very attractive. He had a strong walk, almost like a strut, and she couldn't help but watch him leave, craning her neck to see him disappear through the doors, sighing when he was out of her eyesight. She really couldn't wait to marry that gorgeous man.
After a long, long day of sitting by herself in the lab, it was finally a decent time to leave. She tried not to sprint out of the lab, shrugging off her Stark-issued lab coat and punching the code into the panel on the outside of the door, locking the room to keep her research from any disturbances. She'd been working on liver regeneration with a similar base as her previous chemo alternative nanobots. She felt bad for leaving the notes out where Quill could see them, but things seemed to be fine for the time being. She hoped, at least. She felt guild gnawing away at her stomach, shame for herself and the scientific community at not being able to figure it out sooner. There had been a cure, hiding deep in the recesses of technology and programming, and nobody had found it until 2018. That was horrible. Billions suffered. She made a decision right then and there to work her ass off until she could find a way to treat everything. Because what else could she do?
She sighed in relief once she made it to the main level, headed towards the entrance to the parking garage where she usually met Bucky. Don tried not to groan in irritation when he wasn't there, but waited a few minutes, glancing through her emails on her phone and trying not to tap her foot impatiently. Ten minutes passed and there was still no sign of him, and she decided to seek him out at that point. She was hungry and cranky and her feet hurt from the pumps she'd decided on that morning. Where the hell was he? She stomped through the compound, trying not to snarl audibly and disturb anyone still out and about.
"FRIDAY, can you tell me where Bucky is?" she asked after poking her head in the few areas he frequented, finding no sign of her beau.
"Sergeant Barnes is with Rocket in the hangar." the hangar? What the hell? She strode back to the main floor of the compound, not bothering to wait for the elevator, opting for the stairs and regretting it nearly immediately, wincing from her sore feet. She kicked off her shoes, letting them dangle from her fingertips with an exhausted yawn. It was nearly forty minutes since she'd wanted to leave, and she was going to kick Bucky's ass. All she wanted was to curl up on the couch with pizza and maybe a nice cold beer. Now that was a perfect evening. Maybe even fool around with Bucky afterwards. He had expressed interest in balcony sex, and she was nothing if not open to that sort of exhibitionism.
It didn't take her long to get to the hangar, maybe just over five minutes, but she was practically limping at that point, her bare feet on the cold hard concrete not doing her blisters any favors. She just wanted to get home for crying out loud, was that too much to ask?
Her footsteps were nearly silent on the cold floors, and she stepped quietly through the open hangar doors, pausing at the sight. Arnold, Rocket, Bucky, and Nebula all sat in a small circle, unreadable expressions on their faces. She contemplated interrupting, but stood near the doorway, watching just to see what was happening. There were murmurs, soft smiles, frowns, and many other emotions occurring right in front of her. She wasn't quite sure what was going on, but she didn't think she should bother them.
Quietly, she studied the small group. A few misfits, torn apart and put back together in a jumbled mess. They fit together, meshed well. She felt like they had a lot to learn from each other, and could grow as people together. Donatella smiled softly. She was happy that Bucky had people that could understand what he'd gone through. She could give as much sympathy as she could, but she knew it could never be enough. She'd never be able to fully understand. But now… well, he had more people to rely on. More people to help him lighten the burden. He'd never be free from his past, but there was always more steps to take forward.
She had been standing there for a few minutes before Bucky turned his head slightly, somehow sensing her presence. His eyes glanced over to her before a small smile lit up his face, and she felt her heart ache at his change in expression when he noticed her. He stood up from the crate he'd been sitting on, saying one last thing to the small circle of people before they all gave him goodbyes as he walked over to the entrance where Donatella still stood. She felt the corners of her lips tug upwards as he came closer, and the warm look in his eyes made her feel fuzzy inside.
"Sorry, were you waiting long?" he asked, concern clear on his face as he peered down at her watch. "Oh, damn, it's that late already? I'm sorry, I completely lost track of time."
"Its okay, Buck. You've had to wait on me a billion times. I can handle just this once." she slid her arm through his, tugging him out of the hangar. He let her lead him to the parking garage, her bare feet making just the slightest noise.
"You tired?" he asked as she yawned, and he plucked her shoes from her fingers, leaving her other hand free to dig through her purse for her keys.
"Just a little. I want to go home, order a pizza, and lay on the couch and watch movies. That okay with you?" she peered up at him, seeing a small smirk playing on the corners of his lips. They looked full and inviting, but she knew better than to try and make out with him in the compound. He got way too embarrassed with PDA, especially when people from the team would see.
"That sounds perfect." his eyes were full of adoration, his skin warm against her side. She leaned into him, resting her temple on his shoulder and tangling her fingers between him. Perfect was the right word to use. She couldn't imagine anything better than curling up on the couch with James Buchanan Barnes and sharing small, soft kisses and splitting a bottle of beer and watching some terrible cheesy movie while they both fought drowsiness off for as long as possible. She wanted to do it for the rest of her life, just merely exist with him. He soothed an ache in her that she didn't know was there until she met him. He was the most incredible man she'd ever known, and she couldn't hope for anyone better than him.
"Should we get garlic knots with our pizza?" she asked conspiratorially, and he shot her another smirk.
"That's what we had the first night we met. Were we watching a movie then, too?" he grinned down, and she shrugged.
"I don't remember, I don't think so. What should we watch tonight? I've been meaning to show you Austin Powers, it hits a little close to home but it's funny." she mentioned. He raised an eyebrow but the smile never left his face.
"Anything you want, doll." he said as the pair approached the car. She stifled a laugh, rolling her eyes as she unlocked the car.
"You're allowed to have an opinion on what we do you know. You don't have to just let me choose everything." she joked, sliding into the driver's seat as he dropped into the passenger's side.
"It's your world and I'm just living in it." he smirked, and her jaw dropped.
"Where did you hear that? There's no way you just thought of it now." she gushed, grinning at him. The keys dangled from her fingertips, she had been distracted by him before she could think about starting the car.
"I read it somewhere, I thought it was fitting for us." he chuckled, buckling his seatbelt and settling back. His arms crossed comfortably over his chest and he shot her a lazy grin. "Think if I order the pizza halfway home we'll beat the deliveryman to the door?"
"Interesting hypothesis." she pursed her lips, trying not to laugh. "Shall we test it?" his smirk widened.
"Definitely. Are you going to start the car?"
"Oops. Yeah, my bad." she grinned, sticking the key in the ignition before feeling the engine roar to life. "Don't forget to order half without peppers." she reminded him, and he rolled his eyes.
"I remember what I don't like on my pizza, doll, you don't have to tell me."
"Just making sure, you forgot last time and you were pretty upset." she teased him as she pulled out of the compound.
"Yeah, yeah." he grumbled, glaring down at his phone and taking a painstakingly long time getting to the pizza order app. He wasn't great with technology yet, but he was making so much progress, and she was very proud of him. She was proud of him for pretty much everything, actually. She loved him way too much to be normal. But, honestly, she couldn't bring herself to care.
I know that I'm taking a long time between chapters on this one, and that's totally my bad, but I'm trying to make things line up with my ending and its surprisingly difficult. Thanks, you guys, for all your patience and love for this story.