"YOU'RE BACK! HAI GUISEEEEEE!" Crazy Hand shouted out, thinking it was a good idea to shout. Thanks asshole.
The five of them replied with a monotonous "hey". Mostly because they were still shaken up about the events of the last chapter. Especially Dr. Mario. And Mewtwo just didn't really give a shit. Or two. Do Pokemon even have to shit? Thats a good question…
They all just went straight to Master Hand's office, and told him that they were all going home, passing a couple of Newcomers along the way, with them all saying hey and asking them how they were doing. I'm still not sure why I wrote the last chapter. Anyway, they all just ignored the Newcomers, mostly because they weren't in the mood to deal with their shit.
"There's something that I need to do here," Mewtwo told the group.
"Yeah, ok. Just meet us outside in the car when you're done," Roy told him.
Mewtwo stalked off in the emptyish mansion. I think we all know how this is going to play out…
Mewtwo went to the South Wing of the Smash Mansion. You may be asking yourself what could Mewtwo want to do with the South Wing. Well, he's a shifty bastard, so we don't really know yet.
He casually trotted along, not really caring about anyone seeing him. He'd be able to erase their memories of the encounter anyway with his mind mojo.
Mewtwo opened the door and looked around until he saw a shelf that had a sign saying 'Assist Trophies'.
He thought to himself, what is an 'assist trophy'? He opened the door, leading him into a large room full of the Smash Trophy bases. Each one had a cloudy white glass covering the trophy inside. He took three of them.
Mewtwo decided to explore the rest of the storage room. He wasn't afraid of getting caught because Master Hand specifically forbade anyone to go in the South Wing of the mansion.
During the rest of his little 'adventure', Mewtwo managed to steal nine golden hammers, fourteen regular hammers, twelve regular mushrooms, thirty poison mushrooms, ten Pokeballs,3three red shells, and a large stack of those really cool cloaking devices. Oh, and a weird floating rainbow orb with the tournament logo that Mewtwo wasn't really sure of the function of. He decided to grab four more because he could. He'd just say that Crazy gave them to him, because no one would question that.
Mewtwo, having filled his nonexistent pockets because he does not wear clothes, made a mental note to come back to the South Wing, and he teleported to Young Link's Mustang.
"What took you so long?" Roy questioned.
"Don't question it," Mewtwo replied.
"And why not? You've been gone for over three hours! Plus, some damn bird flew down and stole Dr. Mario's McChicken. We've been trying for so long to calm him down, and Young Link just fucking shot him with a goddamned Ice Arrow, and now it's freezing balls."
"Crazy had to give me something on my way out."
"And it took you three hours?!"
"Don't question it."
Roy just slammed to gas and drove off without Mewtwo in the car. Then he realized something. "I just remembered that he could've teleported back home."
"I told you that three hours ago Roy," Young Link mentioned.
"WELL, EXCUUUUUUUUUUUSEEE ME, PRINCESS," Roy said, making Young Link want to stab himself due to the cringe worthiness of that reference. Cool, I think I just made a new word! Nevermind, I just Googled it and it's pretty legit. Damn.
Roy sped off in Young Link's Mustang that he couldn't drive because he was only 10. He also couldn't reach the pedals. Or see over the steering wheel.
"Can I have the AUX cord?" Pichu asked to break the silence.
"Yeah, sure," Young Link said and gave it to her. Then, with the AUX cord, Pichu played the unworthy.
"Why the fuck are you playing Nicki Minaj?" Roy asked, fury growing on his face.
"Because, Nicki is da queen."
Mewtwo, detecting the disturbance in the environment, teleported in Young Link's Mustang with the rest of the ex-Smashers, took the AUX cord, and played Rob Zombie. Thank you Mewtwo.
"Ok I forgive you Mewtwo," Roy told the feline looking Pokemon.
"You're welcome. Now you are going to go to Wendy's."
"Why? Wendy's is gross?"
"Don't question it," Mewtwo concluded, using his mind mojo to make Roy go to Wendy's. "Kid, turn the heat up. It's freezing dicks in here."
Young Link reached up to the A/C, and turned it off, switching it to the heat. That caused Dr. Mario to thaw out. Which caused him to start crying, once again. God fucking dammit, Dave.
"Who's Dave?" Ganondorf asked.
"You really gotta stop breaking the fourth wall, dude," the author told the giant self-proclaimed king.
"Yeah, yeah. I don't really care. That's your problem."
"You're a dick, you know."
"Cool," he said, and left.
When the group got to Wendy's, Dr. Mario threw a fit because they don't have McChickens.
"They have other chicken sandwiches there," Pichu told him.
"I-a-know. But they will-a-never be as-a-good as-a-McChicken. I love me-a-McChicken."
"Link, can you freeze him?" Roy asked.
"Umm, I left my bow out in the Mustang."
Ganondorf decided it would be a good idea to break the fourth wall, punch the doctor in the face, rendering him unconscious, and went back to wherever the Veterans were being kept at.
"I never thought I would say this, but thank you Ganondorf," Young Link announced to the group.
Mewtwo used his mind mojo to make Dr. Mario levitate and shit, and they all went into Wendy's. Roy ordered a Baconator, Mewtwo got a grilled chicken wrap, Young Link got a Son Of Baconator, and Pichu got a kids meal. Then, the cashier said, "What's up with your friend there?"
"Umm, he got really tired," Roy answered.
"Then what's with the bloody nose?"
"He's really clumsy too. He fell down the stairs this morning."
"If he fell down this morning, his nose wouldn't still be bleeding. It's 11 at night!"
"Don't question it," Mewtwo told her, and casually walked away. The rest of the group followed him in the dining room.
"Honestly, what the fuck Mewtwo?" Roy asked.
"I don't know what you mean?"
"Who the hell orders a goddamned chicken wrap for fucks sake? It's even grilled! I really need a beer."
"Me."
And with that, the ex-Smasher's food was ready. They go the order, and walked out the door. Mewtwo took his wrap, smacked Roy in the face with it, and teleported somewhere. I'm not sure where, but he did. And the author realized that she has dropped her iPod at least four times in the study hall that she is in. She also realized that study hall ends in 90 seconds, signaling the end of the chapter. Peace out losers!