Are you ready to find you what Ana really does for a living?
Also, for those of you who like longer chapters, I hope this one will make up for the shorter ones.
This chapter's song is - Panic Room by Au/Ra.
Ana's POV
"Yeah I know it."
Fuck!
Breathe!
Why of all places did they have to pick here? Why not any one of the other clubs in Manhattan?
I can't breathe.
I can't do this.
"Ana, breathe. What can't you do?" Fuck did I say that out loud? "Ana look at me." Kate places her hands on either side of my face and spins me to face her from where I'm sat in the middle between her and Gail.
"I can't do this."
"Yes, you can." I shake my head trying to dislodge Kate's hands, but she holds firm and doesn't let go. "Ana breathe with me okay, in and hold then out. That's all we're going to do so you can calm down."
"In." I copy Kate with my breathing, while Gail runs her hand gently up and down my back, right now I'm thankful for the thick material of the top over my back. If I wasn't wearing something that thick then Gail would for sure be able to feel the scars and I would have to try and explain them and with their location, it would be clear that my scars are not from self-harm. As Gail's hand glides up and down my back never once stopping on any specific part of my back, I know the shirt is enough to even out the scars and I relax a bit, leaning into the contact, which for once is helping calm me not scare me.
"Out!" Her hands tighten on my face with the sharp comment bring my focus back to Kate and my breathing, when she can see that she once again has my full attention her hands loosen.
Only once my breathing evens out and my head starts to clear is that I realize the cab has stopped and we are outside the club. When I spin round to look at Gail, I realize that the door is open, and Gail is no longer there but outside talking to the guys. Great just more people to witness my humiliation. Instead of prolonging anything and possibly talking myself into another panic attack, I decide to take the plunge and face my fears head-on, no use in prolonging it because as soon as I tell them the truth about what I do for a living they will all be gone anyway. It's only once I try to step out of the cab and right myself that I realize that I haven't recovered quite as much as I thought, my legs give out and I brace myself to hit the hard concrete below me. But I don't hit the floor because a strong pair of arms wrap around me pulling me upright and into a solid chest.
"Hi." Christian says looking down at me with concern etched onto his features, his hands press into my sides as he turns me to face him.
"Hi." I reply but it comes out all croaky, which makes him smile, his hands slide from my waist to my face where he pushes a loose hair behind my ear all the while never breaking eye contact. For a few moments we just stare at each other both of us not sure what to say but he seems to figure it out before me as his hands leave my face and return to my hips pushing me back slightly. It's only then that my brain seem to catch up to the fact we've been pressed together this whole time and it didn't scare me, in fact I liked it, probably more than I care to admit.
"I like this it's very not you!" Christian's eyes take a slow perusal over my body and when he reaches my face, he bites his lip before leaning in to whisper. "Very hot." His voice makes me shiver and my cheeks heart which makes Elliot give a wolf whistle that makes Christian growl.
"Uh, thanks." I say trying to take a step back, but Christian's fingers tighten halting my movement.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah I just freak out for a moment but I'm okay now I swear." In reality they only reason I'm okay now is because I've come to terms with the fact that this will likely be the last time, I'll see them all, so no need to fret further. It's obviously enough for him because he nods before placing a chaste kiss on my forehead before releasing my hips so I can face the group.
"Do you wanna go in or do you wanna tell us all what really happened in the cab?" Gail asks her voice sharp, but I can see the concern in her eyes, I look to Sawyer to see what input he has in all this but all he gives me is a very unhelpful shrug.
"Maybe we should just go in, it might be best if I show you." I walk towards the entrance of the club with the rest of them following behind, as I go to step around the end of the queue for the club, Kate grabs my hand and pulls me back.
"You have to queue to get into a club like this." She says, I assume because she thinks that I'm completely clueless when it comes to club waiting etiquette, but the reality is that I know we don't need to wait in like to pay the cover charge because we can all just walk in.
"Yeah I know but follow me." I say pulling free and heading towards the door.
"Hey Rosie, didn't Bossman say that you were supposed to be off till this thing comes off?" Ricco says grabbing a hold of my cast, gently.
"Yes, he did but I'm not here to work. So, how's about you let us in?" I say making sure to try and give off what is a flirty vibe by fluttering my eyelashes knowing that he likes the extra attention, but at the same time I know he would let me in any way otherwise he would risk upsetting the Bossman.
"Anything for you darling. They with you?" He points to the rest of the group, I nod in response, I don't dare look round to see if that's who he's actually pointing to because I'm too afraid to see the looks on their faces. "In you go, darling." He pulls the rope off the post to lets us in, stepping through the club doors I head right down a corridor marked staff only instead of left into the main part of the club because there is someone we need to see first.
"Wait where are you going this way is staff only?" Gail says from behind me, I stop a few paces ahead of them trying to figure out what to say next, I decide on the truth or at least a partial one.
"I am staff."
"But this place doesn't have a casino?" Elliot says and I force myself to turn around and face them instead of taking the cowards way out.
"It does just not one that's open to the public."
"Are you saying that you work in a club that's a front for a casino?" Kate asks like I've grown two heads, I guess to them I kind of had, I've gone from being just Ana the quiet introvert to Ana the extroverted card dealer who charms people for a living. I want to tell them everything so they stop looking at me as if they don't know me, but I can't because it's not all mine to tell.
"Yes."
"That would be illegal." Christian grunts refusing to make eye contact with me and for some reason that hurts.
"I told you it was complicated." Spinning around I continue walking down the corridor knowing that this is not the place for this conversation, and to find the one man who can help me explain it all. My heart thunders beneath my chest and their footsteps sound so loud even with the carpeted floor but the fact that they're getting louder tells me that they are all following, I want to breathe a sigh of relief, but I know that the worst is far from over if the whispering behind me is any indication.
"Am I the only one that notices he called her Rosie, not Ana?" Taylor asks.
"No wonder this place doesn't have a name, it's not really what matters." Gail mutters.
"Well at least the card suits make sense and the name is actually quite fitting." Kate laughs bitterly.
We walk past several doors before I stop outside one marked private, I raise my hand to knock an ask. "Can you wait here a moment?"
"Sure Rosie." It's so quiet I can't tell who it's comes from, but it makes my heart ache all the same.
I knock but don't wait for a response before turning the handle and entering.
"Hey." As I enter Ray's head pops up with a scowl at being interrupted but the moment, he notices it is me his face changes instantly as he breaks into a smile.
"Hey doll, thought I told you not to come into work?" He says getting up to hug me but when he gets a closer look at the mess that is my face he starts to scowl again.
"I'm not here for that, I'm uh… going clubbing." He crushes me into his chest.
"You're going clubbing? You?" He says pulling back and holding me at arm's length as to if he has to check who he's talking to.
"Yeah, it was on the bucket list."
"Oh, was it now." He checks over my outfit and his gaze hardens for a moment but he doesn't say anything to tell me whether or not he disapproves. "Why would you come here?"
"I didn't pick it; I didn't realize till we were on the way. Gave myself a panic attack when I found out." At that Ray pulls me back into a hug before telling me to sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk. "They all know what I do and that I work here."
It takes him a moment to get what I mean but when he does his face drops. "Oh, and now you're trying to figure out how to explain."
"Yeah."
"Well, what do you want to tell them?"
"What do you mean tell them? I can't tell them if I tell them they'll go to the police."
"You told me you trusted them; the question is do you trust them enough to tell them this?"
"It's not about me Ray, this is your world, not mine, not really. What I've done is small pennies compared to you." I say trying not to get upset.
"Oh doll, you and I both know that even if they went to the police nothing is going to happen. But as far I'm concerned, you can tell them whatever they want to know, you know I've got no secrets."
"I know, it's not about that. It's that this will change the way they look at me and I'm not sure if I want that. These past few weeks have been amazing and I don't want to lose that." I say and Ray cups my face, but we are both startled when the door opens. I don't know who I'm expecting to walk through the door, but it definitely isn't Kate.
"You're not going to lose that." Kate says bending down and pulling me straight into a hug.
"Talk to them, tell them whatever you want and don't worry about me. You guys take my office and I'll go see about getting you guys a booth." Ray gets up and wanders out of the room shutting the door behind him.
"I just have to say the logo for this place is pure genius and I bet would make a brilliant inside joke." Elliot says almost wistfully, showing his artistic side.
"You know you can tell us anything right?" Christian crouches down beside me in the chair before taking my hand.
"This is a lot and I don't want to change the way you guys look at me." I duck my head and my hair falls covering my face which Christian immediately rectifies.
"Look at me." I really don't want to but the pleading in Christian's tone makes me. "Nothing is going to change our opinion of you unless of course, it turns out you're a serial killer, but that would be more about our personal safety." That makes us all chuckle and helps lessen the tension in the room somewhat.
"I promise I'm not a serial killer." I say leaning into his hand where it's resting on my cheek.
"See then you've got nothing to worry about." Kate says and I look over to find Gail sitting in her lap in the chair next to me with Elliot and Taylor standing behind.
"Really unless you are doing something that causes other people harm, you've got nothing to worry about." Gail says reaching over to squeeze my shoulder.
"I dunno where to start." I take a deep breath a decide the beginning is probably the best place to start. "When I was a kid my parents used to get me to play dealer at their game nights, so when I met Ray and I needed a job he decided that was a good a place as any to start. Turns out I have a real knack for it so it's kind of stuck, it also helped that I uh… have a really good memory so if I even just look at the deck, I can tell exactly which cards are going to be dealt to who. At first, I used it as a game I dealt the best hands to whoever I wanted but when I started working here, I didn't really think about the fact that someone would pick up on the way I dealt. Until one night I'm in the middle of a game and the pit boss walks over and starts to question me, I was freaking out and, in the end, I had a panic attack, that's when they called in Ray. Back then no one knew that I had a connection to Ray because he didn't want me to have to worry about favoritism. So, there I am in the middle of the casino having a panic attack while the pit boss explains what I'd been doing, I thought for sure that Ray was going to be pissed and fire me, but he just burst out laughing."
"Laughing?" Kate asks looking as confused as I'm sure I did at the time.
"Yeah, but it threw me so much it stopped the panic attack. I was so confused, but once he stopped, he looked at me and said that I was being promoted. Turns out he wanted me to start dealing the high stakes game, with a minimum two-hundred-fifty thousand dollar buy-in, but these games aren't just high stakes to bring in more money they're played so you can negotiate business. The players aren't really playing to win but to have a less formal conference room, but it only really works if the people playing are in the right frame of mind. That's where I come in, I deal the right cards to the right person, to get them to lose or win depending on what you need or want them, so if you want someone to take a crappy deal if they've spent the whole night winning they will be more likely to take it."
"But how can you predict who will fold or not with each hand?" Elliot questions clearly unsure how you can rig a game of chance or at least attempt to.
"You don't really have to, because if you deal the right cards then you know if they have the cards they need to do either one, sure there's an element of chance. But if you know exactly what each person at the table is holding then you can figure out who will play what and when sure sometimes, I don't get it quite right but I'm pretty damn close."
"These aren't your average poker games, are they?" Christian's tone tells me that he already knows the answer, so I just shake my head and let him decide if he wants the rest of the group to know or not. "The business conducted at the table isn't business that can be conducted in a board room."
"Not really, but it's not like they go into the particulars at the table they just state the basics and play which is supposed to build trust in each other therefore shoring up the deal. Ray separates those parts to keep me safe or at least give me plausible deniability not that it matters all that much. I know all the upper echelons of the government and police force because I deal for them, so it's not like I'm in any real danger. You've seen my security but even they aren't there because what I do for a living, they are there to protect me from anyone from my past that comes looking to collect a debt."
"How did you end up here?" Gail asks.
"Ray saved my life and I owed him a debt for that, even if he's never seen it that way, I'm good at what I do and if that helps him then so be it. I don't have a college degree just a high school diploma so really there isn't a lot I could do but if I did want to do anything else Ray would be the first in line to support me, but I like what I do. I know that sounds a bit insane or maybe naïve, but I've known from the beginning what he really does, and it's never bothered me, it's how he was raised it's in his blood, it's his family."
"Holy fuck, wait a minute didn't you say his last name was Covelo? As in the Covelo Crime Family. Ana works for the mob." Elliot says more to himself than the rest of us before he doubles over laughing.
"I don't work for the mob this isn't the 1940s for Christ sakes, I work for Ray as a croupier and I get paid through the club and with tips. I have a paper trail therefore not the mob."
"Whatever you still work for the mob." I give Elliot what I hope is a glare thankfully it makes him pause. "Don't look at me like that it's not a bad thing, I just find it funny that you look so innocent," he pauses looking over my outfit once before continuing. "Most of the time but you deal cards to mobsters on weekly basis and not just that, but you rig their games. It's brilliant that's all."
"This doesn't change the way we look at you, at least not in a negative way. I think it's kind of badass that you deal to mobsters and you don't have to worry about us telling anyone you're secrets safe with us." Kate reaches across the chairs and squeezes my hand and with that everyone murmurs similar agreements.
"Alright you guys have got the booth on the upper level and you're on a house tab, so you don't have to worry about anything, it's on me tonight." Ray says from behind us, when I look over and see his face, I can tell he's been standing there a while listening but waited for us to be ready before speaking.
"Brilliant." Elliot walks over to Ray and goes to shake his hand but pulls it back a second later. "Am I allowed to shake your hand or are you going to cut it off?" He chuckles.
"You can shake it but it's at your own peril." Ray jokes; Elliot's lucky that Ray has a good sense of humor or that might have ended badly.
"If you're giving me free booze it's a risk I'm willing to take, thanks for that by the way. I'm Elliot." They shake hands and everyone else takes that as their cue and does the same.
Once Ray has been introduced to everyone, I go to stand as well but realize that I'm still holding Christian's hand, what's worse is that Ray does too. I drop Christian's hand as if it's on fire not because I'm embarrassed or ashamed but because I don't want Christian to have to worry about Ray, he's so overprotective of me and I don't want Christian to be scared off. I know Ray isn't the kind of man that would hurt Christian just to prove a point no matter how he may come across it's just not in his nature. In all actuality, the tattoos and stance are more just for show when he isn't on like he is now he doesn't come across nearly as intimidating.
"Ray, you remember Christian right?"
"Yeah good to see you again son." Ray extends his hand and pulls Christian into one of the bro hug things when he shakes, I breathe a sigh of relief at the awkward gesture. The fact that Ray is making a real effort to be friendly despite the fact he always wants to protect me and wants me to stay away from anyone who has the potential to hurt me means more to me that I thought it would
Christian thanks Ray as well before Ray pushes us all out of the office and tells us not to have too much fun because he'll be watching. Everyone laughs for a second before Ray points to one of the security cameras and everyone's laughter quickly dies except Ray's and once they realize, he's only joking they all breathe a sigh of relief.
"Okay let's go get our booth." I walk off down the corridor and back to the main part of the club and turn past the bar to the stairs leading up to the private floor.
"Whoa this is amazing." Gail is spinning around taking everything from the crushed velvet walls to the matching booths, and the underlit table giving the room just enough light to make it romantic and moody but still giving off the aura the rest of the club gives. She pauses looking out over the railing to the rest of the club, the DJ booth across the packed dancefloor and the bar just below us. I know it's only a nightclub, but I've always thought of it as quite beautiful maybe it's just because of the high standard Ray has that keeps the club from becoming grotty like so my clubs out there. But I think it has more to do with the fact that the club comes across more like a high-end bar with a dancefloor, the walls are all a deep burgundy while all of the furniture is black giving that stark contrast to the space setting it apart from the rest. The staff all wear simple red and black outfit with the club's logos on the pocket all differing depending on what their roles are: spades for the busboys, clubs for the bouncer, hearts for the waitstaff down here and diamonds for the casino and private booth waitstaff, kind of ironic really diamonds only reserved for the richest.
"Holy fuck they've got Dom Perignon on ice. For us?" Kate's holding the bottle in her hands as if it's a delicate piece of art, which makes me laugh because it's not even the most expensive brand we sell.
"Yeah. It's a staple with a private booth. Crack it open if you want or we can just get something else if you don't like it."
"Oh, I do not need anything else, this is all mine you guys, you'll have to find something else to drink or get your own bottle. She pulls the foil around the cork off with practiced ease, I guess that growing up with a father who owns a bar has given her some unique skills. Even though I know the pop is coming as I watch her uncork the bottle it still makes me just, but Kate being who she is doesn't just pour one glass for herself, she pours five. It takes everyone a few moments to realize that I don't have a drink but in all honestly, I don't care because I can't stand the smell of champagne God only knows what it tastes of.
"I'm good really, do you want any other drinks?" I take everyone's orders and put them into the tablet on the table sending them off to the bar below knowing that within a few minutes our drinks will be brought up. Only one bottle is customary for a private booth, but Ray's given us two just because, but there are only six glasses in a bottle so soon enough both will be empty anyway. Despite the fact that the nightclub is packed it takes less than five minutes for all six drinks to be brought up to us.
"These couches are so comfy." Gail says as she sits down on the couch, well more on Taylor's lap but we all follow suit just the same.
For a while, we just sit around talking, although I guess its shouting really gave that you can't just talk in a crowded night club but given that we are up and away from the speakers we can still hold a conversation rather than having to shout random words in each other's ears. Although we don't have to be right next to each other Christian is sat right next to me, so close I can feel the heat of his thigh against mine. I can't explain why but it feels different tonight, it's not just because he knows the truth about what I do for a living because I felt it before when he caught me outside. The contact should make me nervous at the very least, while I've gotten a lot more comfortable in the last few weeks, I'm still not okay with prolonged contact like right now. But for some reason right now I can't bring myself to pull away and severe it, instead of the normal anxiety I should feel, it's been replaced with an odd sense of warmth that I can't place.
"Alright dancing time." Gail says a while later pulling me up from the couch along with Kate.
"Do we have to?" I whine.
"Yes, we have to." Kate pushes me forward and onto the small dance floor overlooking the club.
"Alright follow us." Kate and Gail are on either side of me now with Gail in front of me and Kate behind.
Kate and Gail position me between them with Gail in front and Kate behind before telling me to follow their lead. They start talking me through how to dance, Gail bends her knees slightly before moving her hips side to side, I try to copy but I can tell my movements are stilled and not in time even before she places her hands on my hips to help. Gail guides my hips side to side in time with her and before long I've picked it up, well at least to the point where I no longer look like I'm having a seizure. But they aren't satisfied with that because apparently you have to dance with your whole body, first the arms. I follow their movement copying them as best I can, but I've never been the most coordinated person and that definitely shows but given that no one is laughing at me I'm taking it as a good sign. That or they have enough sensibility to not be that cruel. It takes probably a good half hour but with their help, I think I've at least picked up the basics, leg twists, arm rotations and body undulations, their word not mine. By that point we are all out of breath, so we flop on to the couch for a break, thankfully while we've been off dancing the guys have ordered us another round. We down them all but given how strong the drinks are here, I'm not so sure that's a great idea but what do I know.
We get through another round, with all of us just sitting around laughing and talking, and for once I find myself completely unafraid of what anyone else thinks. I've just had fun no worrying about what everyone else thinks and I can honestly say that's never happened before. I'm not sure if that's because I'm somewhere I feel safe or because of the company, but I haven't thought about Sawyer or looked around for anyone else even once.
"Grinding." Kate shouts startling me even over the music.
"What?"
"Grinding that's next up."
"When the fuck am, I going to need to know how to grind?" I spit out I'm sure looking at her like she's grown two heads because let's be honest when I am going to have to confidence to grind with a random guy?
"You never know." She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively before glancing quickly at Christian, then she and Gail jump up at the same time and pounce me pulling me back to the tiny dance floor.
We take up the same position as before, but this time we are a lot closer, it takes a bit of positioning but eventually, I'm in a position that is deemed acceptable to them both, so they make me freeze before moving around me. Apparently trying to teach me how to grind with some in front and behind me at the same time as if that's a situation I'll actually find myself in, I roll my eyes at the thought. Once they're happy, they place a hand on either side of my hips and start to guide my hips.
"Push back to me." Kate says from behind pulling me slightly but as a try to do just that they tighten her hand on my hip and I freeze instinctively knowing I'm not doing right. "No with just your ass."
"What?" I tilt my head to look at her.
"Trust me." Although part of me is saying that this is a futile exercise the other is saying that I'm having fun, so I decide that maybe I should just give in a have some fun for a change.
"Okay." Kate pulls at the outside of my groin bending me and pushing my ass into her, for a while my movements are stilted but after a while, my body seems to sync with hers and I start following her movements.
"Fuck damn this is like a live porn show." Elliot says crudely grabbing his crotch which makes everyone laugh but Christian and Taylor reach over to whack the back of his head. "Ow, what was that for? Am I wrong?" Both Christian and Taylor are suspiciously quiet and instead of answering they both opt to take a drink instead.
Us girls all make out way back into the booth after having broken apart at the interruption.
"Alright let's dance." Kate says after a while, and this time I don't quibble because I'm truthfully having the best night.
"Just the three of us?" Gail questions when we all stand.
"No all of us this time and down on the actual dancefloor. You ready Ana?" Kate asks pulling Elliot up off the couch as Gail does the same to Taylor.
"Yeah let's do this."
It's not until we are down on the dancefloor that my anxiety starts to kick in, Christian must sense it because he laces our hands together and pulls me into his side before whisper shouting in my ear.
"Don't worry I got your back." He pulls me onto the dancefloor, but we're still at the edge, he spins us and loops his arms around my waist before pulling me to him, so we are almost touching but just far enough apart that our chests don't touch. It takes me a beat to realise that I have no idea where to put my hands, with Gail I just put them on her hips but with him it doesn't feel right, so they hand limp at my sides. "Put your arms around my neck." He 'whispers' in my ear and despite the fact it's not even remotely cold in here I shiver.
Just like before my hips move in time with the beat but this time it's not just because of the hands-on my hips. I can feel the bass pounding in my chest with every beat, so much stronger now that we're downstairs but I don't think the pounding in my chest is solely from the music. For some reason this fills more intimate than outside of the sidewalk even though our bodies aren't really touching, I can feel his body heat seeping into to me even though there are a few millimeters between us. I want to know if it would be even more intense if I were to shift so we were connected, desperately needing to find out I step forwards slightly. At the contact Christian's rhythm falters and his fingers tense but he falls back into sync with me almost instantly.
After few more songs, Christian spins me, so that my back is pressed up against his chest this time there's no room between us, I fumble for a while trying to decide if I am brave enough to put into practice everything the girls taught me. It takes me a song, but I eventually feel brave enough to press back which makes Christian gasp, for a second I think I've hurt him but with the first pelvis twist I feel it. I'm not sure I've ever really thought about what it would feel like to press backward but it different than I would have imagined, harder even. Christian's fingers dig into my hips halting my movements, I think to protect me as much as him but for once in my life, I'm not scared by the foreign contact, in fact, I want more, I don't know why but knowing that I did that to him is kind of heady. Placing my hands on top of his I pry them off my hips and restart my movements, but I don't dare turn around to see his reaction. It takes him a few beats but eventually his hips swings start up again only this time they're nowhere near as reserved and much more fluid. In one sharp motion, he flips our hand so that his palms are on top of mine and places my hands on my hips this time guiding my movements instead of just following them.
We stay just like that for the next few songs in our own little world, I close my eyes and just lean into the contact resting my head back on his left shoulder and lose myself to Christian and the music. As we grind on the dancefloor, I can feel my body heating up and I know it's not just because of the temperature of the room. The song changes to Panic Room by Au/Ra he lets go on my hip and brings his up to my neck pulling my hair back exposing my neck, I feel his body move as he takes a deep breath before he leans down to my ear.
"Can you feel you feel how much I want you?" My breath catches and my eyes fly open to find Christian staring at me with dilated pupils, so wide that his grey irises are barely visible, I pretty sure this is what people mean when they say someone is staring at you with fire in their eyes.
I spin round to face him to get a better look, but he doesn't let me go for even a second. The way he's looking at me is exactly how he looked at me into the storage room but this time I'm not confused as to why he wants to kiss me. But unlike before I'm not scared, not of his touch or what the kiss might lead to, I'm nervous sure, the fact I can feel my heart pounding in my chest is proof of that but I'm not scared in that bone-deep irrational way that leads to a panic attack. Butterflies run rampant in my belly as Christian brushes the hair out of my face, before his hand slides down my cheek before coming to rest on my neck, his fingers graze the back of my neck before they freeze. It takes my brain a few moments to catch up as to why but when I do, I'm the one who freezes. He recovers first and his fingers start to explore the raised flesh on the back of my neck not knowing the impact it will have on me.
The stench of blood fills my nostrils, images fill my head and my vision dips as nausea bubbles in my gut.
I have to get out of here!
Run!
Lizzie!
Run!
He's coming for you!
You've been a bad girl!
I push at his chest, and his hands let go instantly, my vision is cloudy I can hardly see but I run in the direction I know I need to go bumping into people along the way, I don't bother to apologize. I barely make it to the toilet before everything comes up, when there's nothing left to vomit, I curl into a ball.
"Ana." I can hear someone calling my name it sounds so far away but the darkness is pulling at my vision and I don't fight it. The darkness takes me, and everything goes quiet.
Ugh, I'm so nervous about this chapter, I hope it comes across the way it plays out in my head. Please let me know what you think if you get a chance. It would mean the world to me.
Also once again please excuse my grammar, I suck at it and I'm the only one who proofreads these.
Thanks, as always for reading.
FearfullyBrave.