Chapter 17

Amelia
February 7th, 2191

Amelia sat on the bed, consumed in thought, listening to Garrus pad around while cleaning the bathroom. "I should apologize to Gaius and Octavia. That must've scared them."

Brush brush brush. The sound stopped, and Garrus emerged from the bathroom, stripped of his soaked formal wear, and sat next to her on the bed. "It did. That's why I came back. Gaius called me." He put his arm over her shoulder and pulled her in.

She sobbed, a single tear streaking down her cheek, "God, I can't do anything right…,"

"Don't say that," His voice was stern but carried undercurrents of love. "You are the strongest person I've met. You carried several burdens that would crush anyone else, and you've come out mostly okay."

"I scared our kids to death…. That's unforgivable."

"The only unforgivable thing is you not sharing half your burdens with me. Spirits know I give you more than my fair share." She stopped resisting and melted into his side. His rough hand rubbed her arm, which helped more than she could describe. "So, what happened?"

"I don't know what triggered it. The last thing I remember was getting in the shower. … I was on Mindoir the day of the attack. I was in my younger self's head, but I couldn't affect anything. I rewatched my father getting mercilessly beaten by a slaver, not killed until he saw what they did to his family. I watched my mother and little brother get raped and slowly bleed to death…. I…." She couldn't hold back the tears anymore, and they escaped in a choked sob.

Her partner just sat there, giving her a shoulder to cry on. "Spirits Amelia…. How did you survive?"

It took her a minute to control her wild breathing, "I had my biotic breakthrough, very late in life, or so I was told. I ran into the room, wanting to die with my family, but I was damn sure going to take one of the bastards with me. I had a hockey stick, and somehow I covered it in biotic energy and beat all three batarians to death with it." Another sob racked her body, "And I kept beating, and beating, and beating until I passed out. When I woke up, Anderson was kneeling next to me, and there wasn't anything that resembled a batarian left."

"Do you feel better now?" He asked.

"... A little," She sniffled, sinking even deeper into his warmth.

"Good, I'm glad. How long have you had this nightmare?"

"A month…."

"Amelia…," He sighed, "Promise me you'll tell me if it starts again. I need you to let me help you."

Despite it all, she couldn't help but smile. It didn't matter what she threw at him; he'd be there to catch it. "I promise."

-o-

She took a few more minutes to get dressed before leaving the room to find the kids. They were right where she left them, sitting at the dining table in front of their coloring pages, but the crayons sat unused on the table. "Hey,"

Both kids lit up immediately, "Mada!" They clamored out of the chairs and jumped into her arms. "Are you okay, Mada?" Gaius asked, pushing his head into the crook of her shoulder.

"I am now," She replied. "I love you guys sooooo much! I'm sorry for scaring you…."

"We love you too, Mada," they said, pecking her cheeks in a pseudo-kiss. She was pretty sure she felt her heart melt.

-o-

"No, no, no, no! I'm going to fucking kill you!" She sprinted at the batarians in front of her, swinging a hockey stick.

"Amelia!" Her eyes snapped open, no longer in her childhood home on Mindoir but in her bed with Garrus, who was pinning all four of her limbs to the bed. "It's not real."

She stopped struggling against his pin and started to cry again. "I am so broken…," She managed before the sobs cut off her voice.

Garrus got off her and laid next to her, tugging her body towards him and engulfing her in a hug, "Mindoir again?" She nodded meekly. "Come here."

She scorched closer to him until their bodies were touching. "I don't want to burden you-"

"None of that," He interrupted, "I can see this is tearing you apart, and I don't know what I can do to help. Tell me what to do." His subharmonics trilled with a note of helplessness.

"Just knowing you're here is helping." Amelia tipped her head in, resting her forehead on his, "Hold me?"

"I can do that."

She flipped around and pushed herself into him, and he lowered his arm around her. She felt safe, felt like she had a shield from the pain, and for once, she slept through the night without a nightmare.