I can't thank you guys enough for your review for the last chapter, they all made my day. They've also made the fact that I'm struggling to write so much easier to get over because I want to do it for you guys. Hope this was worth the wait.
Christian's POV
The longer we dance the stronger the pull I feel just being around her gets, from the moment she stepped out of the car looking hot as hell in this skirt, to the way she's grinding on me now, it's only made it worse. That's why I tried to keep some distance between us and not just here on the dancefloor because even though my body's been begging me for more, I never want to push her too far, I don't want to lose her. That's why when she pushed her ass back into my groin, I tried to stop her because I wasn't sure she knew what exactly what was going to happen. When she froze as she felt my erection, I thought sure it was over, my heart stopped at the thought of doing something that could possibly scare her but when she pushed back even harder, she showed me just how strong she truly is.
I've had girlfriends hell, I'm pretty sure I've been in love or at least come close but the pull I feel from Ana the way she makes my heart race with just a simple smile makes me think that maybe I've got it all wrong and I've never even come close to love. If I feel this much for her already and the closest, we've gotten is a couple of kisses on the forehead then I can only imagine what an actual kiss would make me feel. So, as we dance with her ass pressed firmly against my crotch, I can't help but want more, so I take a chance on the fact that she is comfortable with the touch so far and go for more. Bringing my hand up from her hip, I brush the hair from the side of her neck and lean down to whisper in her ear.
"Can you feel how much I want you?" When her breath catches at the sound of my voice and she freezes against me I know that she's just as affected as I am.
It's at the back of my mind that maybe I'm pushing for too much too far, but my head is so foggy just being this close to her that it's hard to think straight. But when she spins around to face me, her hands around my waist I know it's not too far, she's still not close enough so I reach for her neck pulling her closer so there's no space between us. Sliding my fingers further down her neck, they come across a raised patch of skin, freezing for a second as my brain catches up and realizes that what I'm feeling is, in fact, a scar. My fingers move of their own accord and explore the scar just like they did with the scar on her lower back, I'm so distracted with my exploration that I don't realize that Ana has stopped moving. When I look up I realize that's she also virtually stopped breathing, I look into her eyes and even though she is staring at me it's like there isn't really anyone home. The blood drains from her features and she goes so white I'm afraid she may pass but she comes to her senses before she can and starts to breathe again. She releases me and her hands fly to my chest, as she pushes me away with such force that I have to take a step back to steady myself. Her breathing is still raged and uneven as she runs away, I got to follow her just to check if she is alright, but I lock eyes with Kate who puts her hand up and shakes her head before she runs off in the direction Ana went.
As I stand there in the midst of the moving bodies on the dance floor, I can't move as I replay the last minute over and over in my head on loop trying to figure out what I did wrong. How did I misread her that badly? Am I really so self-involved that all I could think about was what I wanted? The look on her face when she pushed me away was haunting, she looks at me like I was a monster. I want to be hurt by that, that she is still afraid of me but I can't at least not right now because I am so worried about her, as badly as I want to run after her I know I can't because if I am the reason she looked like that I sure as shit am not going to be able to help her.
I don't know how long I'm standing there but eventually, Elliot and Taylor come over and pull me off the dancefloor and into an alcove at the side of the club.
"I can't find her." Kate says from beside me startling me from my head and into the present.
"You what?"
"I can't find her, she disappeared around the corner and I assumed she went into the girl's bathroom, but I checked everywhere she wasn't there."
"She was probably just in one of the stalls."
"I checked every one of them and asked if any of the other girls had seen her, no one matching her description went in or out of those toilets. She knows this place the back of her hand she must have gone into one of the other rooms in the hallway. I'm sorry."
"Fuck." I say pulling at my hair. "Where's Sawyer? He's got to know where she is." I head off in the direction of the back-hallway Ana took us down earlier to try and find Sawyer, only why I try to go down there the great behemoth of a man that let us into the club earlier is blocking the way. "I'm looking for Ana."
"Miss Steele is unwell, so Mr. Covelo has taken her home." He says not even bothering to look at me.
I thank him before running out into the street and hailing the first available cab, I jump in leaving the rest of the group and head to Ana's. When I get there the night doorman buzzes me in but stops me before I can even head in the direction of the elevators.
"I'm sorry but Miss Steele isn't home right now, and I am only permitted to let you use the elevator if she is."
"But he said she'd been taken home." I say more to myself than him.
"I'm sorry, sir but no one else has come or gone all evening, just yourselves."
"Thanks anyway." I walk out back onto the street and just stand there for a moment trying to figure out what to do next. I want to see Ana but it's clear that right now she doesn't want to see me, I could assume that Ricco was lying to me of his own volition, but he doesn't seem like the kind of guy to much else but follow orders.
'I'm sorry. Please call me.' I text Ana, more than anything I just want to know she's okay, she looked so scared earlier and although I want to believe it was all me it seemed like she was afraid of a hell of a lot more than just a kiss. Plus, I gave her enough time to pull away and she didn't, and she was the one who turned around to face me. Urgh, I don't know what to think, instead, I opt to just walk home and curl up in bed wait for her call, but it never comes.
When I wake up the first thing, I do is check my messages but there's nothing from Ana, sighing I get out of bed. Deciding to try and alleviate some of the tension thrumming through my veins, I go for a run. But when I get back a check my phone, still no message from her, any progress I made on the run is completely undone. Sitting down at the counter, looking at the breakfast Kate made me, I realize that for once after a run I'm not hungry, I manage to force down a few mouthfuls because I don't want the food to go to waste. I'm too distracted to finish.
By the time it reaches noon I've been yelled at by almost everyone in the house for pacing, moping and just generally annoying the shit out of them by getting them to check their phones for any messages from Ana.
A little after one Kate gets a text from Ana telling her than she's okay but is sick so she won't be joining us for anything over the next few nights but not to worry about her. Even though everyone tells me not to, I can't help myself I have to see in person that she is okay even if she is really sick, I just need to know. So, I throw on a clean pair of sweats and a t-shirt after a quick shower, and head out the door, grabbing a hoodie just in case. I decide to walk knowing that I'll probably just drive any cabbie crazy with my inability to sit still anyway, on the way over I walk past my favorite deli and grab some soup on the off chance that Ana is really sick. The doorman buzzes me into the building and doesn't stop me from going into the elevator like last time, so I take that as a sign that she's now home, I put in the code and the elevator takes me up to her floor. Once I'm out on her floor I knock on her door, but no one answers, so I knock again knowing that she should be in there but again no answer. I turn back around and walk to the elevator pushing the button to take me down when I hear the door creak behind me. I spin around so fast I jar my neck slightly, but I quickly dismiss the pain and focus on the dog in the doorway.
"Hi." I say reaching out to pet Ben on the head before looking behind him and into the penthouse only to find it empty. Ben steps out towards me and the door behind him starts to swing closed, I'm only just fast enough to catch it before it locks us both out. "Where's your owner?" Ben whimpers at the word and walks around me in a circle before butting me on the back of the thigh once, then wanders off in the direction the bedroom I take that as a sign and follow.
When I enter the bedroom, Ana is curled up in the bed with her head on the pillow facing away from the door. I walk around the bed to where Ben is now pushing his face into her hands trying to get her attention. When I get around to her side it takes me a few seconds to take her in, her eyes are bloodshot but not from crying because her lids aren't puffy. She's still wearing last night's makeup, but it's all smeared across her face, there are streaks of black running down her cheek like she's been crying and even at the mere thought that I could be the cause, makes my heart to squeeze painfully in my chest. She has however managed to change out of her clothes from last night and into a thin long-sleeved shirt and pajama set.
"Hey." I whisper into the darkroom; she flinches at the sound of my voice.
"Hey." She whispers back her voice gravely and uneven like she's in pain.
"What's wrong?" I try to whisper even quieter than before, but she still seems to flinch.
"Migraine."
When that's all she offers I don't push, I reach out and gently run my fingers down her cheek pushing her hair behind her ear and off her face.
"I brought you soup, but I'll put in the fridge because I doubt, you're hungry. Is there anything I can do?" I say more to myself than to her.
"Not really just be quiet and keep it dark, if you stay but I'll be fine by myself." I smile at the request before getting up and walking the soup and placing it by the fridge as right now it's still too hot. As I walk back to her room, I spot a food and water bowl set on the floor at the side of the island both are empty, and Ben looks up at me expectantly when I stare at them. I take that as a sign that Ana's probably been too out of it with her migraine to feed him, so I pick up the water bowl first and fill it up, the second it's on the floor Ben starts lapping. While he is busy lapping away, I pick up the food bowl and go in search of some food, I have to look through Ana's cupboards to find it and I hope that she will forgive the intrusion given that I'm trying to help. It takes a few tries but eventually I find the right cupboard and a large bag of dry kibble, I turn the bag around to find out if there is a serving size recommendation for Ben's size, thankfully there is and I measure out what looks right before placing it on the floor again next to the water. While I'm sure that one miscalculated food won't harm him, I don't want to do anything that has the potential to harm him.
I fill up a glass of water and bring it with me when I head back into the bedroom, just in case Ana needs it. As I enter the bedroom she jumps up from the bed with more speed than I would expect from someone in as much pain as she clearly is, but when she darts for the bathroom and seconds later I hear her retching and it becomes clear as to why she moved with such urgency. I follow her into the bathroom hoping that this isn't another intrusion, I place the glass down on the side before I walk over to her and place my hand on her back and gently rub hoping that it will help soothe her in some small way. She stays like that for a while with her resting on her arm over the toilet, she wretches a few more time but nothing really comes up which makes me wonder how many times she has already done this today. When a few minutes pass without and retching I stand up and pull the blind in the bathroom closed enough so there is still enough light to move around without injuring yourself but hopefully dark enough that she can tolerate it.
"Do you want to rinse your mouth out?" I grab the glass off the counter and offer it to her, she looks a bit puzzled at first, I don't know if she's wondering where I came from or why I'm offering but the look passes, and she takes the glass. She takes a few sips and washes her mouth out spitting them into the toilet, once she is finished I reach over to flush the toilet but she stops my hand before raising her hands to shield her ear signifying that sound is too much, I make a mental note to do it once she is back in bed. "Do you want to brush your teeth?" She shakes her head no before wincing at the movement, I lower my hands to pull her up, I pull her up and let her lean on me as I get her back into bed.
Once she's settled, I return the bathroom shutting the door before flushing the toilet after the cistern has stopped, I grab the glass and open the door. I place the glass on the nightstand, I stand there awkwardly for a few moments trying to figure out what to do with myself. Do I go and sit on the couch and wait to see if she needs anything? Does she even want me to stay at all? My questions are answered when Ana shifts in the bed pulling the sheet to side, I take that as an invitation to get in, I toe off my shoes and climb into bed with her and place my phone on the nightstand making sure it's on silent. As soon as I lie down, she lifts her arm up from where it is resting on her side and I slide over and wrap my arm around her waist and pull her to me so that we are spooning. As I lay there holding her, I find myself hoping that she'll drift off soon, so that she'll be able to get some rest which with a bit of luck will help her feel better. I lay there monitoring her breathing which thankfully after a few minutes it evens out, I have every intention of staying awake to make sure she's okay, but the lack of restful sleep last night catches up with me and I'm out minutes later.
I'm awoken sometime later by movement next to me, I look around the room for a clock so I can get an idea of the time but there isn't one at least not to be one I can see. I look at the window to see if I can guess what the time is, but even though it is still light out it doesn't really give me an idea because it could be three or eight given that it doesn't start to get dark until nine pm. Instead of focusing on the time, I focus on Ana, she's rubbing at her eyes given how bloodshot they were earlier I'm not surprised, but she's still got on the heavy eye makeup from last night. I worry about her getting something in her eye, so I shift to get up to go to the bathroom, but when I go to get off the bed my foot comes into contact with something warm and fluffy on the floor startling me. I look down still half asleep and realize it's just Ben, thankfully.
I carefully step over him and wander into the bathroom, I start the tap and set it to warm before looking through the drawers to find a washcloth. In the second drawer down I find what I'm looking for and pull it from the stack, I run it under the warm water, soaking it through. I test the temperature by putting it to my face, it feels just about right, so I shut of the tap and wring it out. I grab a hand towel and take them both into Ana's careful not drip any water onto the floor as I walk round to her side. I hand her the washcloth, but she doesn't understand what I mean, so instead of talking and causing her more pain I place the washcloth on her face and start to gently remove her makeup. When I get to her eyes, I realize that I can't get it all off without pressing on her eyes and I don't want to hurt her, so I get off what I can and decide its good enough. I carefully dry off her face before I take the washcloth and towel back to the bathroom, I place the towel back on the hook and place the washcloth in the sink. I reach into the first drawer and pull out a face cream. I place a suitable amount onto the back of my hand before returning the pot to the drawer, returning to Ana I carefully rub it into her skin wary to not apply to much pressure. Once I'm happy that all her face is coated, I place another soft kiss on her forehead and return to my side of the bed and pull her close to me before we both fall back asleep.
I wake sometime later, this time it's not because of Ana as she is still sound asleep in my embrace, and my arm makes me aware it's gone to sleep as pins and needles shoot through my limb. I delicately remove my arm and stretch it out as the blood flow returns, I lay there just watching her until I'm satisfied that she's still asleep. I get up and wander into the main living space needing to move about and now that I've rested, I feel wired and I know that I won't be able to sleep anymore. Ben follows me out and I spend some time just showing him some love, he soaks everything up, his tail wagging happily. I spot the soup on the side still out from earlier and put it in the fridge now that it's cooled down before pouring myself a glass of water downing it in one go, I look around the room looking on the windows over the spectacular view of Manhattan that I'm not sure I'll ever get used to seeing.
As I take one more look around to room draining the rest of the glass, I notice that the room next to Ana's is open, not once in all the times I've been here has that door been open. With idle curiosity I walk towards the room wondering why this time it's open, as I get close I notice that Ben is inside laying on another one of his beds, I knew he had two, the one in the living room and the one in the bedroom but it didn't occur to me that there would be more. It's only once I am in the room that I look up from Ben at the room around, I don't know what I was expecting to find in here, but this is nothing I would've expected. I go to step further into the room and take a closer look unable to help myself when a whimper rings out startling both Ben and me. For a second both of us stay frozen just staring at each other but when a second whimper fills the room both of us run for the door and Ana. We both get into Ana's room at the same time to find her in the bed, I move towards her trying to be quiet not want to wake her until I know what is going on but when she starts to thrash I speed up my movement not caring if they wake her. Even though it is only a few paces to the bed her movements seem to pick up exponentially and become more and more violent with each passing second.
When I reach the bed and sit down beside her with Ben on the floor by my feet, I pause unsure of what to do. I've never really been sure of what to do when someone is having a nightmare, are you supposed to wake them or not? Ben takes the decision away from me when pushes up onto the bed and begins to lick her face and butt at her chest trying to wake her. I take his lead, assume that this isn't the first time this has happened with the practice rhythm he seems to have to alternate between licks and headbutts.
"Ana." I say louder but when doesn't respond to either one of us I speak a little louder and firmer. "Anastasia." She startles out of whatever nightmare she was stuck in and her eyes fly open and for far too long she stays completely still with a vacant look in her eyes. But all of a sudden she sits up only just managing to avoid me, she pulls at the sleeves of her shirt revealing scars running up the inside of her forearm but that doesn't seem to be enough for her as she pulls at the front of her shirt as well exposing her entire stomach that is covered with scars as well. I can't help the gasp that escapes me which causes her to flinch and stare at me.
So, there it is hope you enjoyed. If you get a chance, please leave a review they really do mean so much to me.
Thanks, as always for reading.
FearfullyBrave.