So, I know this chapter is a little later than originally planned but this week has been kind of insane, I've been sick. Then my sister developed a new continuous cough, so we've all begun our 14-day self-isolation, and I decided to work my way through part of my reading backlist.
Anyway, enough about me, on with the story.
Ana's POV
18 hours earlier
"Ana." A voice calls out as the darkness begins to fade. "Anastasia," they call again but it sounds muffled which means I can't quite work out who is talking to me. I feel a hand on my shoulder gently rubbing up and down trying to get me to come back to the present. It takes a while but eventually I realize that it's 'Mone who's calling out to me, I try to open my eyes but the light in the room is too bright, so I squeeze them shut again.
"Turn off the light." It doesn't take me as long this time to figure out who is talking, partly because there's only one man who can bark orders like that. Ray reaches out and pushes my hair out of my face before he talks again. "Hey doll, want to open those eye's again now it's not so bright in here?"
I open my eyes to find both of them crouched down looking at me, both their features etched with concern. They never used to be like that, they used to be so calm and controlled when I had a seizure, but I think that was mostly due to the fact that they happened on a daily basis and we all just got used to them. However, given that its been almost a year since my last seizure, I think it's thrown them both through a bit of a loop.
"Ah, there you are. Welcome back." 'Mone says like, every time I come around from a seizure, he says those words. It's become somewhat of a running joke if I smile in response, he knows that I'm coming around fast enough that I don't need any further medical help.
They both just talk to me as I come around, knowing it keeps me calm, but they don't talk at me, just to me because even though I can't respond right now I'm still listening to everything. It's not until I'm almost fully round that I start to wonder why 'Mone is here, I know we're still in the club but last I knew he was working tonight.
"What you doing here?" I manage to slur out, that's the most frustrating part about waking from a seizure, not being able to talk properly, especially if it happens around someone who doesn't know that it's normal for it to happen, they always freak out about a stroke. To some people, my seizures don't even look like seizures because I don't have the typical muscle spasms my body just locks up, my eyes roll back in my head and I blackout.
"Was on my lunch break, decided that I would take it away from the hospital for a change. I was walking to Ray's office when I saw you run into the toilet, you didn't look great, so I followed you. Glad I did, I caught you when the seizure started, if I hadn't you would have gone headfirst into the toilet." It's only once 'Mone reminds me that I remember that I'm on the bathroom floor, I look around the room and spot the door half-open giving us enough light to see but not so much it hurts my eyes.
"Wanna get up."
"Alright, but you're not walking, I'll carry you." Ray says bending to pick me up off the floor with more grace than you would expect from a man his size. I would fight him, but I know I'm still too weak to get myself up and I don't want to spend any more time than is necessary on the floor. Ray carries me to the staff room, yelling at two of the wait staff to get out and turn the light off before placing me down onto the sofa. The sofa is not the most comfortable in the world but it sure as hell beats the bathroom floor.
"Do you need anything? Water? Painkillers?" 'Mone asks, knowing that seizure will bring on a migraine nine times out of ten.
"Water." I don't feel that throbbing in my skull just yet so, painkillers aren't necessary right now, he wanders off to fetch it whilst Ray stays sitting on the floor next to me stroking my hair. The first time he did it after a seizure freaked me out I thought he was trying to come onto me or something but I realized it's his way of trying to comfort me and just seeing the way he looks at 'Mone you know he would never be interested in anyone else let alone a vulnerable kid. It's in his bones to protect people not to hurt them, no matter what he does for a living it's not who he is.
'Mone comes back with my water and also some painkillers, I go to reject them, but I can already feel the familiar ache in my muscles from the prolonged contractions, usually, the throbbing in my head distracts me from them but today they're here with a vengeance. I sip at the water knowing that my stomach is already rocky after the panic attack and the last thing I need is to vomit in here. We all just sit there for a while, whilst I recover but before long shapes begin to dance in my vision and even the dim light becomes too much for me to handle. Ray and 'Mone offer to take me back to theirs to keep an eye on me but someone would have to go to my place anyway to pick up Ben, so I'd rather be in my own home and bed. Ray carries me the whole way to and from the car even though I could walk on my own, he knows how painful it would be for me to open my eyes to walk.
Ray carries me all the way into my building, in the elevator, and into my room but before he can even put me on the bed I'm out of his arms and running to the bathroom as a wave of nausea bubbles up from my stomach. I make it to the toilet just in time for the retching to start, the throbbing in my head starts once the retching is finished. Ray picks me up when I'm done and puts me into bed, he asks if I want to change, I go to say no because I just don't have the energy when 'Mone comes into the room holding a pajama set. They work together getting me stripped and redressed as fast as possible, somehow, they manage to keep all the important parts covered, even though I know both of them are gay and have seen it all before in the hospital I'm thankful. They tuck me into bed, and thankfully it doesn't take me long to fall asleep thankfully, that's the only perk to a migraine after a seizure your body is so tired that you can't not sleep.
I wake to a pounding, at first, I think it's in my head but when Ben runs out of the room and starts to whine, I realize someone is at the door. I debate going to get it but there would only be a few people who'd be able to get to this floor, Ray and 'Mone have keys so they would just let themselves in. When the knocking stops, I just lay there but when Ben comes in and starts to pull on the bedsheets, I know I should answer the door, so I force myself to get up and do my best to keep my eyes closed. I manage to unlock the door but I don't bother to wait and see who it is, because whoever it is, knew the code to the elevator so it could only be someone who's already been here before and even they were a stranger Ben would deal with them.
When Christian walks into the bedroom I'm slightly surprised but given how I left him last night I sort of figured he would show up at some point. Just with the seizure and everything I haven't had a chance to think about what would happen in regard to our almost kiss. Was it even an almost kiss? Or am I did I imagine that?
"Hey." He whispers as if he instinctively knows that I can't tolerate loud noises.
"Hey."
"What's wrong?" He whispers somehow even quieter this time, which can be no easy feat with a voice as naturally deep as his.
"Migraine." I would tell him more but even just that one word feels like a jackhammer inside my skull. Christian reaches out and gently runs his fingers down my cheek, but just like last night the act doesn't make me feel afraid if anything it makes me feel safe, and honestly, that might be more terrifying.
"I brought you soup, but I'll put in the fridge because I doubt, you're hungry. Is there anything I can do?" My chest squeezes at the compassion and I find myself wanting to tell him to stay.
"Not really just be quiet and keep it dark, if you stay but I'll be fine by myself." I offer knowing that he's likely to leave, I mean who would want to stay with someone who you can't even talk to.
He wanders out in the main part of the apartment and he some rustling, I assume he's putting the soup away before he leaves. I hear the tap running, but I don't get a chance to wonder why as another wave of nausea hits me, as I make a break for the bathroom, I catch a glimpse of Christian walking back into the room. As retch over the toilet barely anything coming up given, I've already vomited twice, Christian places a hand on my back and gently rubs and I find myself leaning into the touch. I rest my head on my arm breathing through the nausea while he rubs my back, I find myself staying there longer than necessary just soaking up the touch. It's only when my brain catches up and I realize that if I let him do it any longer he may feel the scars, I go to pull away at the same time he gets up and hands me a glass of water that I know wasn't there last night. I rinse my mouth out like he suggests spitting into the toilet in a completely unladylike fashion.
He doesn't seem to care though, just continues to help me like this is any other day and he didn't just see my puke my guts up. Christian asks if I want to bush my teeth, I shake my head 'no' knowing that if I put something in my mouth it will only make me retch again, but shaking my head makes the pain inside my head increase tenfold. Christian reaches down and carefully pulls me off the floor and into his side before guiding me back to bed. I settle in bed as Christian disappears back into the bathroom, before long he comes back out and stands over the bed. He looks so unsure of himself that I scoot over, and lift the covers back inviting him to stay because he looks about as tired as I feel. I can't bring myself to say the words out loud for fear he may reject me or think that this is more than it is. Part of my brain is screaming at me that this is a bad idea, but if the kindness and compassion he's shown me already is anything to go by, he has to be a good guy, right? He climbs into bed and pulls me into his arms almost instantly like it's a reflex, I know I should be pulling away and trying to put some distance between us but I find myself wanting nothing more than to absorb the warmth his body is producing and because it feels safe. I'm so exhausted I don't have a chance to overthink why someone I just met makes me feel as safe as Ray and 'Mone do.
A burning in my eyes wakes me up, so I start to rub at my eyes to trying and reduce the pain but that just makes it worse. I still have last night's make up on and all I'm really doing is smudging it, I feel Christian move from behind me, I don't get a chance to question why before I hear movement and them something warm and wet presses softly onto my face. At first, I think it's Ben licking my face but it's not quite right and there's no reason for Ben to be licking my face I'm not having a panic attack or nightmare. Eventually, it becomes clear as it makes clear movements across my face, wiping off the makeup, he's careful not to apply to much pressure, he gently wipes and my eyes trying to get as much as he can. When he's satisfied, he wanders back to the bathroom and I think he's done but when he comes and rubs the moisturizer on my face as well, I almost want to cry at the kind-heartedness. When he places a soft kiss on my head it does me in and a tear escapes running down my cheek, thankfully Christian doesn't notice or doesn't comment, he just climbs back into bed pulling me back against his chest and I drift off to sleep once again.
I would just like to say, I've never had a seizure so if I got any of the details wrong, I do apologize, this is just my interpretation based on what I've read.
There it is. Thanks for reading. Please leave a review if you feel so inclined.
FearfullyBrave.