Warning-

Alcohol and drug abuse will be discussed in this chapter as will gambling so if those are triggers for you please bear that in mind before you read on.

Christian's POV

I hold Ana in my arms as she sobs, her tears soaking through my shirt, but I pay them no mind, I just focus on telling her everything will be okay in hopes that she will be able to calm down. I gently rock her back and forth running my hands through her hair and down her back hoping that it soothes her, and after a while, her sobs start to ease and become more like whimpers. I continue to hold her and eventually she calms down and settles against my chest, she stays so still I wonder if she's fallen asleep but when I look down, I can see her running her hands over Ben's head, I know she isn't. We sit like that for what feels like forever, holding her and even though she seems to no longer need my comfort, I find myself reluctant to let her go.

"I want to take a shower." She says after a while, I release her, but she stays against my chest for a few moments before she actually gets up.

"That sounds like a good idea. Do you want me to put the light on in here and leave the bathroom door open, so it isn't too bright?" I offer as she flicks on the bathroom light and winces, she turns around and flashes me a sympathetic smile. I get up and walk towards her, taking her face in my hands. "I'll be out on the couch if you need anything all you need to do is shout." I say placing a gentle kiss on her forehead as she nods, the fact that she has it in her to nod tells me that she is feeling a lot better than when I got here.

I wander out the room, switching on the light as I go, but before I can leave the room, I catch a glimpse of her in the mirror. She pulls her shirt over her head, leaving her back exposed and fully visible in the floor-length mirror in her room, I manage to hold back a gasp as I see the scars striped across her back. I stare for a moment but force myself to leave as she goes to remove her pants not wanting to see any more of her without her permission. I wander over to couch and Ben follows, planting himself at my feet as plonk myself down and look out over the Manhattan skyline wondering who or what could have caused such substantial scarring.

Earlier when we were in bed, her sleeve lifted and revealed the scars on her wrist, seeing them I assumed that they were from self-harm because of their placement and size but after seeing what I'm guessing still isn't all of her scars I can't help but think that's far from the truth. I have a hard time believing anyone could do that to themselves, let alone someone else but given how silvered her scars are they have to be from some time ago meaning they have to be from her childhood. How could anyone do that to a child? How could a parent let that happen to their child? How could Ray? How could…

I don't have a chance to fret any further as Ana comes out of her room, fresh from the shower dressed in a pair of sweats and a new long-sleeved shirt. Although it doesn't feel like she was in there all that long, she's clearly been in there longer than I realized given the fact her hair is now wet and braided. Even though she's just come out of the shower and hasn't done her make up I still find her beautiful maybe even more so than last night because this is more her, more real. When she spots me on the couch she smiles and wanders over, Ben doesn't get up from his spot on the floor until she is fully situated beside me.

Absentmindedly she reaches out and begins to stroke him never once breaking my gaze, and it makes realize just how close these two are, given that they are almost never apart it's unsurprising. But given how he followed me instead of her when she went for a shower means a lot like he understands what she means to me which is silly because he's only a dog, but it makes me appreciate it none the less. We all stay frozen like that for a few moments before Ana opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted when Ben gets up and darts to sit in front of the door.

"He needs to go out." Ana clarifies before I have a chance to question the odd behaviour. "Geez, when was the last time he went out?" She rubs her head trying to figure out when.

"I took him out when I got here but that was several hours ago."

"Poor boy. Do you want to come with me? He could do with his evening run as well." She walks up to the front door grabbing his leash along the way, before opening the coat closet by the door.

"Yeah, that sounds nice. Let me just grab my shoes." I wander into the bedroom and put my shoes back on and head out to the main room where Ana already has her shoes on and Ben in his vest with his leash attached. She's now also wearing a pair of sunglasses even though the sun is going down telling me that even though she is feeling better she's still not a hundred percent so I make a mental note not let us walk too far, so she doesn't get too worn out.

She opens the door and grabs her keys and we head into the elevator without another word. As we stand side by side in the elevator my hand itches to hold hers, but I have no idea how she would react to that, so I keep it firmly at my side. Once we're down in the lobby, she reaches for my hand with her cast hand and pulls me through a back exit that opens out into a back alley behind the building but even as we start walking away from the building she doesn't let go. I tighten my hold in response which makes her smile and I take that as a good sign, so I bring it to my mouth and place a kiss on her fingers as the rest of her hand is covered by the waterproof cast she has on for another two weeks.

We walk in silence as she guides me down the street after street until we reach a park at first I think we've walked all the way to central park but I spot the sign for Morningside Park I realize she's taken me back to the park where I ran into her instead. I smile at the thought and tighten my grip on her cast as if that will somehow erase the fact, I put it there. Once we're inside the dog park section Ana and I sit down on one of the benches and she releases Ben, he runs off to play with the rest of the dogs instantly.

Sitting in silence on the bench I watch the dogs play in the warm summer night air until I can't take the silence anymore.

"Do you take preventative medication for the migraines?" I ask before I can think better of it, it's a pretty personal question, one I'm not sure I have the right to ask but before I can take it back, she answers.

"I do, and they work well but whenever I have a seizure, they almost always trigger a migraine."

"Seizures? You have seizures?"

"Yeah, I… when I was sixteen, I had a TBI… traumatic brain injury and it left me with neurological damage, that causes seizures. I haven't had one in about six months because my medications have been working but they can be triggered by anything. Another head injury, high stress, lack of sleep, the list goes on. They can be pretty unpredictable even with medication, but they are reduced in frequency with the medication. It's another reason I have Ben he isn't just a mental health therapy dog he is also seizure alert dog, that's the main reason Ray got him for me so I could be more independent because back then they were almost daily and it was making my anxiety worse."

The way she talks about Ray makes him appear as a father figure but from what I know she hasn't known Ray that long, so it leaves a big question where he's concerned. I know that he saved her life when she was sixteen maybe that's the TBI she was talking about, but I still don't know how they met.

"How'd you meet Ray?" I ask as I carefully put my arm around Ana's shoulder and pull her into my side needing to be closer to her.

"My parents… if you can even call them that… were addicts, my mom favored booze and drugs, cocaine mainly, whereas my father favored booze and gambling. I was just this inconvenience that helped clean up and looked out for them, they both had a temper my fathers were way worse than my mother's but neither of which I ever wanted to be on the end of. My mom wasn't that bad on the rare moment she wasn't high she was actually a pretty nice person to talk to but my father I can't stay he ever really had any good moments, even if he was sober. The scars… they're from him, his idea of a perfect punishment was something that he could make seem self-inflicted so nothing would trace back to him, because let's be honest if you see a girl from a questionable home with perfect razor cuts down her forearm what other conclusion are you going to jump to. I tried once to tell a teacher the truth but when she confronted my father, he spun a story about how I was a problem child at home and tried to get attention, being a police officer, she believed him. He broke my mom's arm that night as a warning as to what would happen if I tried to someone again, so I kept quiet." She pauses staring off at Ben, for a while I think she isn't going tell me anymore and honestly, I can't blame her, but she presses further into my side and starts to talk.

"The older I got the worse my father seemed to be, I don't know if it was just because I was more aware of it, but he became more annoyed by smaller and smaller things. My mom also seemed to become more and more withdrawn towards the end, and as my father's gambling got worse my mom had to work more and more to pay the excess his salary couldn't cover. She was sixteen when she had me, she never finished high school, my father was twenty-one when he met her, she was fifteen so she could never really get a proper job, so she was a prostitute. The junkie whore and police officer, a match made in heaven." Ana laughs bitterly and I pull her further into my side so that she's now more in my lap which makes her relax somewhat. "When I was sixteen my father killed my mother and nearly killed me. That was the night I met Ray, honestly, it was a sheer fluke he was there, he was walking past our building that night on his way back from a meeting and he heard my cries and went to investigate. He's the only reason I didn't die that night if he'd found me even just a few minutes later I wouldn't have made it. That's what I mean when I say I owe Ray everything."

When she doesn't say anything more, I realize that it's the end of the story, well I guess she did answer my question. I honestly have no idea what to say to that, do I tell her how brave I think she is, or would that seem like pity, like I'm being condescending? Because the is the last thing I think she needs or wants from anyone.

"Your father, what happened to him?"

"He was killed in prison. In order to fund his gambling, he took bribes from anyone and everyone to look the other way, but eventually, even that wasn't enough. In the end, he was taking money from the wrong kind of people, hell people even Ray would mess with. He didn't have any choices because his cop salary didn't pay enough, so loan sharks and other illegal activities were all there was. Guess his debts all caught up to him eventually."

"You're pretty incredible you know that?" I press a kiss into her hair, and she buries her head in my chest before looking up at me.

"Thanks." Her smile tells me that she doesn't quite believe me but that's okay because someday I know I'll make her believe it. "You're not so bad yourself." She places a kiss on my cheek but unlike so many times before it feels different, maybe its because it's lasted longer or maybe it's because it feels like she's finally let me through that iron barrier around her heart.

When she pulls back, I place my hand on her cheek as her eyes find mine, and I can feel the electricity thrumming through me, I'm right this time is different, and she feels it too. Her breath hitches and she turns more to face me, her eyelids flutter and she leans in, I take that as a queue and lean in further almost, so our lips are touching but not quite. She needs to be the one to make the final move so we can both be sure that it's what she wants not just because she's scared. But she doesn't hesitate, and her lips press into mine, more gently than most people would have but given her inexperience its understandable. I tilt my head so that our lips can fit together better, she takes advantage of the movement and opens her mouth ever so slightly and her lip fits perfectly between mine. For this being her first real kiss, she sure seems to know what she's doing, our lips find and easy rhythm that makes my heart race, I suck on her lip careful not to be too hard not wanting to frighten her. But she surprises me and gasps before leaning further into me I take the opportunity and lick into her mouth which makes her freeze but when I pull my tongue back hers follows as she mirrors my movements.

As she grows more confident her hand finds my chest before working their way up my neck as she tried to pull me closer as if that's possible. We're so caught up in each other that it's not until Ben comes up to us his panting distracting us that we pull apart, with both of us now panting from the lack of oxygen. I place my forehead on hers, and she giggles lightly.

"As first kisses go, I have to say that was pretty amazing." I say planting one last soft kiss on her lips before pulling back and petting Ben. We both pet Ben for a while with her still leaning against me even though it's an awkward angle I don't want her to move.

"Do you want to go and get something to eat?" She asks grabbing Ben's leash and attaching it.

"Sure. Do you have anywhere particular in mind? If not, there is this really great Pho place about a block from here which shouldn't be too hard on your stomach."

"Sounds good." She presses a kiss into my lips this time instead of my cheek. "Lead the way." She laces her hand with mine as we walk to the restaurant.

So, there it is, can't believe how long it took did not think this was going to be as slow burn as my last one by hey ho these two have a mind of their own.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed, if you leave a review, I want to thank you in advance they mean so much to me.

Thanks, as always for reading.

FearfullyBrave.