A/N:
Happy birthday to our glasses boy, Shinpachi! Happy birthday to our Yakulk-enthusiast, Takasugi!
Aaahh, I was supposed to update on August 10 :( But I wasn't much satisfied with what I've written, so I made some edits and ended up writing another long chapter. This is now the longest (lol).
Oh btw, I only found out recently that Takasugi actually shares his birthday with Housen; and Hinowa shares her birthday with Matako (lol) What a weird coincidence! It might not mean much in canon, but silly me just found it funny because of this fic. Also! Gintama's final movie will apparently be released on Hinowa and Matako's birthday (January 8) next year aaaah! Idk what to feel T-T
As always, thank you everyone for reading this story and commenting! :)
To theEmpress09, if it's okay to ask, what parts were a little off? I gladly appreciate your feedback! :) But yeah, to clarify, I wrote him being very disoriented after learning what happened. I also feel like he has a lot of conflicting emotions in him. I imagine him being in denial of the fact that he actually has a son; because the idea of creating life was difficult for him to absorb. Thus, he really pushes himself to believe that Seita's dead; because the idea of him causing death was easier for him to swallow. Sorry if it's confusing, but I hope I got my point across! T-T Anyway, I just realized that maybe the reason why I keep on writing long chapters lately is because I don't want this fic to end, as well (lol).
To the guest, who reviewed, hello! Thank you for your kind words T-T And yes, it's such a pain to write Takasugi (we all luv him, anyways lol). I'm happy to hear that you liked Setsuna's moments and that you're enjoying this story's pace. I'm really trying to flesh out the characters by switching perspectives and such. I wish to hear more about your thoughts soon~
To Mitsuki, oh no, I keep on making y'all sad...sorry ;A; But, this chapter's gonna be less sad tho (I think, lol). Hope you like it still :)
So, this chapter would be exploring Hinowa and her internal conflicts, especially regarding Seita and Takasugi meeting each other. Looking forward to your responses about this part!
Hinowa doesn't hate this place.
She doesn't mind being a courtesan, because this line of work gave her an opportunity to be educated, and led her to find friends and family. She liked listening to stories, not just from her clients; but also from her fellow courtesans. From the shallow gossips about customers to deep conversations about dreams and what-ifs, Hinowa lent her ear to the women of Yoshiwara. To note, the narratives that she really enjoyed hearing, were those from the senior courtesans, who have experienced working at Yoshiwara, back when it was still on the surface. Their tales about the outside world always brought laughter and tears to them, the younger generation of courtesans. The story that she remembered the most, was that of the legendary Lady Suzuran and her eternal wait to fulfill a lovers' promise – sealed with her lover's hair on her pinky finger. Honestly, Hinowa tried to be rational about it, thinking that Lady Suzuran might've been fooled; but, a part of her believed that maybe, if a full moon does rise in this land of eternal night, then the promise could be realized.
Sadly, she wouldn't hear the story from Lady Suzuran herself, if that miracle does happen; nor will she ever hear any of the other ladies' stories. Not when she's now locked up in a cage within a cage – with no one to talk to.
To the majority of the people in Yoshiwara, though, she has simply been promoted as its highest-ranking courtesan, and was, therefore, idolized. But to those who knew the truth, she has become an example of Housen's punishment to anyone, who dared defy him.
Despite everything, she still loves this place that she has chosen to rise as its sun.
...
It was the moon, that first dared to meet her.
It was a week after that eventful day of spring.
"Hinowa...I'm sorry, I'm late...", Tsukuyo weakly hung her head in apology.
She heard that Tsukuyo and Jiraia got back from training two days after May 10; but the Hyakka trainee could only visit her now, through the Hyakka leader's influence – albeit in secret, and only for a short while. It was no wonder why the fierce tiny warrior she knew was now weeping.
"I couldn't protect you...", the young teen in her white training uniform bit back her sobs, as she continued, "...and Setsuna...I'm so sor–"
"Tsukuyo", Hinowa urged the other to raise her head. Azure eyes stared straight into violet ones, as the older woman assured the younger, "Don't be sorry."
The twenty-year-old reached out and wiped the tears on the teen's beautiful face. Grazing the scar on Tsukuyo's left cheek, Hinowa mused about how painful it might have been for a little girl to do such a thing to herself. Not wanting to let this young girl, she considered as her little sister, to be burdened by another person's pain, Hinowa ignored the pain on her still-freshly wounded feet. Not wanting to watch her little moon get dim and gloomy, the sun lit up, because the moon can shine brighter when the sun shines brighter. She then transferred her smooth hand from the teen's scarred face to the teen's calloused hand, and squeezed the latter's hand. Lifting the corners of her lips, she assured the other, "I'm fine, and I'm certain Setsuna's in a better place now."
The golden beauty still eyed her worriedly, but it seemed like she instantly understood. She composed herself, before asking, in a hushed manner, "The kid?"
The ravenhead nodded at the blonde, "He'll survive. I'm sure of it."
"Tsukuyo, it's time."
The deep masculine voice of the boss of the Hyakka cut their conversation.
"Ah – yes, master!"
The trainee regrettably said her goodbyes. With the door in between, Hinowa could faintly hear the student apologize, then thank her teacher for the opportunity. Jiraia uttered something along the lines of this meeting with Hinowa simply being a part of Tsukuyo's lessons. Hinowa doubted if she heard right, but it definitely did leave an unpleasant impression on her.
...
A full moon passed, and spring became summer.
And summer came with revelations.
From her previous clients, back when she was just one of the high-ranking courtesans and not the highest-ranking one, she already heard gossips about a war happening outside; and about the existence of non-human creatures across the universe, called amanto. This led to the rumors of Housen being an amanto, himself, who's afraid of the sun. Given Housen's appearance, which looked just like a human being – albeit being relatively larger in built, Hinowa found it hard to believe any of those rumors.
That was until, she had her first official customer, a month after being imprisoned. One night in June, Housen ordered her to join his dinner with a guest, who was his acquaintance. To her surprise, said guest was almost human-like, but has green skin and long pointy ears. Aware of the overlord's watchful gaze, the dark-haired courtesan hid her shock, and remained professional by smiling at the foreign creature, who sat down next to her.
"It's been more than a year since the war ended but I heard that the Bakufu's still busy hunting down all Joui rebels. Apparently, they still couldn't track down the leaders. But recently, there've been sightings of one of their leaders; and he seems to be gathering an army, so the Bakufu's even more aggressive in eliminating potential and suspected rebels", the creature paused to take a sip on the sake she served him, before resuming, "Anyway, we're already at peaceful times, and the Harusame needs to run our trade and business, so it'd be hassle if these damn insurgents start trouble again, don't you agree, 7th division Captain Housen?"
The mentioned captain didn't even look up from his meal, "What's your point?"
"Well, your place is really nice. For sure, any man would want to have some fun with the very gorgeous women you have in here..."
Her dignified stance didn't falter even when the creature placed a cold hand on her lap and gave her a suggestive look, before retreating its hand and shifted its gaze back to the dark orbs of the ruler, "– even if he's a stupid rebel and murderer. Hmm..."
"...I believe he's called Takasugi Shinsuke."
Hinowa froze at that.
Wait.
That can't be.
That wanted rebel can't be the same man, who Setsuna loved, right? That dangerous murderer can't be Seita's father, right?
.
.
.
"Is that an order?"
Such booming voice snapped her from her woes. Carefully, she did not show any more sign of recognition nor reaction to the mentioned name.
"Oh, no! The Harusame just wants to warn a respected member and high-ranking official– "
"Warn? You believe I, Housen – the King of the Yato – am threatened by a mere samurai? Yoshiwara is my city. It doesn't obey the Bakufu, the Harusame, nor anyone, except me. I own everything and everyone in this place..."
Dark eyes grew furious and threatening; and that convinced Hinowa that this old man, she used to refer to as 'mister' when she was younger, is not a man, but a monster. The so-called King of the Yato forcefully slammed a cup on the table, causing the cup to shatter, and a part of the table to break and tilt to one side.
"...So, who told you that you can touch my belongings, without my permission?"
The green-skinned creature was stunned, unable to do or say anything, as the owner of this place commanded the other shocked courtesans in the room, "Take Hinowa to her room. Now."
Once inside her prison, Hinowa ironically felt safe to release all her emotions about the overwhelming things she just learned about tonight.
First was the amanto, the Harusame, the Yato– Housen!
The sharp-witted female was now certain that the reason why the overlord allowed her to entertain the guest, was not just to show her off to his acquaintance. It was more than that. It seemed like he wanted to warn her. He wanted to show her how his power and influence exceeds this planet; and how she would still be trapped even if she does escape to the surface, because his power reached even further beyond. Such idea was indeed horrifying.
However, that fear was pushed over by anger, when she discovered next who Takasugi Shinsuke really is. If only she knew, she wouldn't have encouraged her best friend.
...
"...we would only be in his way..."
"...when everything's over..."
...
Recalling those words from the chestnut-haired woman, Hinowa realized that the former was most likely aware about Takasugi Shinsuke and was even accepting and supportive of him.
Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, only to see Setsuna with an image of Takasugi her mind created; Tsukuyo with Jiraia; and herself with Housen.
Why do they all have dangerous men around them?
She wondered if it was because of her. If it was because she was trying to be the sun, who always shines for them. After all, the stronger is the light, the darker the shadows become.
...
Another full moon passed, and it was announced that she was now granted to meet clients; but only after a series of payments and appointments, which would be decided by Hinowa, herself. But the real thing is that she doesn't have that power. Instead, everything that concerns her is under Housen's approval. Moreover, she's still not authorized to show her face to the public, nor even stay at the balcony. If the overlord does permit a guest to meet her, there would be a screen separating her from the guest. The only things she's allowed to do would be pouring a drink and chatting a bit.
This was why she was surprised to hear the guard sharing something with her, one night in July.
"A man called Tōgyō wants to meet you, Lady Hinowa. He offered to pay lots."
At the alias, anxiety crept inside her.
What is he doing here? After not visiting Setsuna for almost a year, he's only back now that she's already gone. Back when Setsuna was still pregnant and alive, Hinowa didn't really completely doubt the other's lover, because the former informed her about his promise of returning after a year and about the letters the former occasionally receives from him. Unfortunately, now that Hinowa knew who he truly was and the alarming acts he was possibly doing during the period he was away, she couldn't help but doubt his intentions of beginning an affair with her best friend.
Nevertheless, he did indeed stay true to his word – in fact, he was even earlier than what he has promised. Ironically, he was still late. Setsuna's not here anymore.
Masking her troubled mind, Hinowa innocently tilted her head to the side, "My my. Usually, when someone pays to see me – especially with such large amount – you inform Lord Housen first. So, what's the difference this time?"
"Uh...u-um..", the guy stuttered under her knowing gaze, before admitting, "I-I'm terribly sorry! He paid me, a-and told me to directly report to you."
Ah.
What was she supposed to do?
If he insists on meeting her despite the risk, that means that he has probably came from the shop, and learned something he needed to confirm with her.
But, that's impossible. Not when Housen's eyes are everywhere. The moment he meets her – no, the moment he decided to show his face in front of this place – marks his end. Although the Yato was initially indifferent with this nation's political affairs and stuff, he would probably won't stay still once he finds out that someone, who looks suspicious, attempted to meet 'his' top courtesan. Hence, Takasugi must leave immediately and shouldn't come back here ever again.
Despite being a wanted man, Hinowa thought about both Setsuna and Seita. Using the fact that Yoshiwara's an independent city, the highest-ranking courtesan decided to perform her duties, by doing what Setsuna would have wished for her to do. Not for Takasugi, but for Setsuna, Hinowa smiled at the guard.
"Then, we don't want to disobey Lord Housen now, do we? As for your payment, you can keep it, as long as you ask him to leave and make sure he doesn't come back ever again. Tell him that he would no longer find the person he's looking for in this impure world. "
...
It took four more full moons before she was allowed to sit at the balcony and to be displayed for everyone else to see and admire from afar. More radiant than ever, she ignited the candle wicks in the women's eyes and the lust in men's eyes.
She truly has now become the sun – unreachable and alone, with anyone coming near her getting burned.
...
Several moons passed – she couldn't even count them in her hands – and she finally saw green and chestnut for the first time.
Her heart leaped when she caught a glimpse, from above, of the very familiar chestnut mop, she hasn't seen for a long time. She quickly averted her gaze, when green orbs locked on hers, as the petite child titled his head up, longingly looking up at her, just like everyone else.
While the ladies longed for Hinowa's beauty and high position, and while the guys longed for Hinowa's body and services, this child longed for none of those. With his frail arms extended above, he longed for a mother's embrace and warmth.
There was no doubt. The kid is Seita. The baby she once held in her arms has now grown to an eight-year-old.
There was a immense impulse to look below again, and take in everything about him. If only she could just stare back at his emerald lenses, scream his lovely name, run downstairs, welcome his tiny and thin body into her arms, fix his messy hair, and wipe away all of the loneliness in his young and cute face.
But of course, all of those were impossible.
Thus, she fought against herself and pushed away such ideas, as she only faced forward – whenever the boy visits with a bag or some pieces of coins, which always hurts to secretly witness from her seat high up. He should stop paying to meet her. He's supposed to forget about a dirty woman like her and stay away from this place. He must live freely on the surface, and bask under the actual sun.
Because down here, he would only be burned because of her; and she would never forgive herself if that does happen.
...
The next moon was silver.
And the actual sun has, at long last, risen in Yoshiwara.
The clear bright skies could finally be seen, as Seita – their hope and savior, and their clear sky – has carried her and all of his mothers on his small back, reciting poetic and wonderful words (a gift he has surely inherited from Setsuna); and has opened up the metallic ceiling, staying true to the meaningful name given to him by no one but Setsuna.
The child of Yoshiwara has been reunited with the women, known as his mothers. Hinowa could now proudly call him her son; and she could now warmly hold him in her arms, without him getting burned.
With the help of the Yorozuya, the Yato king was defeated; and the inhabitants of this underground city were now able to see the moon for the first time, in this city once-known as the land of eternal night.
...
Then the moon became golden.
Tsukuyo, her little golden moon, has never shone brighter, as she has been freed from her darkness and from the spider's web.
...
One night, the moon was huge – reaching and illuminating both hell and heaven.
With a moon that would never fall, a nation was shaken and toppled because of a woman – the legendary courtesan, Suzuran.
...
The following moon was the fullest of all full moons.
A promise of two hearts was fulfilled under the full moon of a cherry blossom-filled night. The lovers, Suzuran and Maizou's full and unsetting moon has arrived at last; and Lady Suzuran could now fully rest in peace.
...
That fullest full moon happened just last night.
And now Hinowa finally met green.
In contrast to Seita's radiant green eyes, their unexpected visitor's lone green eye was dull.
It almost reminded her of Gin-san's dead-fish ones. However, as opposed to the pair of blood-colored irises – which wishes to only protect life – the single life-colored iris wishes to only spill blood. While the light-haired samurai's lenses were difficult to read, revealing nothing about him except some glints of silver sometimes; the dark-haired samurai's dim lens was ironically more transparent, showing everything about his pain, anger and sorrow.
Unlike Gin-san's, it was difficult to trust such eye.
But sky-like eyes trusted Setsuna's ash eyes and how they glow like embers and sparkle, like stars in the night sky whenever she talked about her lover. She trusted Seita's emerald eyes and how they shine, as he shared stories to this person he just met.
It was odd, really.
Seita has never asked about his father. He appeared to be uninterested, maybe because he's contented with having lots of mothers; or maybe because he's clever enough to understand what his biological mother, a courtesan, used to do (even if Hinowa badly wanted to tell him how Setsuna fought in her own way, by staying loyal and loving only one man).
Funny how fate works.
The eight-year-old has no plans in meeting his father; and yet here he was, unknowingly drawn to his father. She guessed that it might be due to Takasugi's sword and eye, which probably reminded the brown-haired kid of his favorite 'Gin-san' – sparking his interest and opening up to the dark-purple haired samurai seated next to him.
In return, the wanted Joui extremist stayed silent, and only kept uttering a few words whenever Seita asks some questions. Intriguingly, some almost-unnoticeable changes couldn't escape the keen gaze of a Yoshiwara woman. He might not say much, but his eye and body language speak more.
From her wheelchair settled a few feet behind them, the observant lady noticed how he grimaced at the dango, nonetheless, accepted and ate the sweet treat offered by Seita; how his default glare gets harder when the one, who's supposedly his own blood and flesh, tells him about another samurai, specifically the 'great Gin-san'; how that same default glare becomes softer, as he sometimes sneaks a glance at the chestnut-haired boy's expressive face – only to return to his original glare, once he realizes that Hinowa was also present; how he would flinch a bit then freeze, when Seita sometimes touches him or even graze his clothes unintentionally; and how he looked like he regrets everything and wishes to just run away, yet makes no move to do so.
This picture of a father and a son was beginning to tug her heart, making it harder to bare.
The leader in her, though, analyzed the situation and decided on the best action. If she only stays passive and keeps on watching such bittersweet scene before her azure eyes, it might get too difficult to look away and stop the two from interacting even more.
"Seita?", she finally called out, halting the child mid-sentence of his question about swords.
The father-and-son duo turned towards her.
"Yes mom?"
"I'm sorry, dear, but can you please go to Lady Miya and the other elders, for a while? Tell Lady Miya that Tōgyō-san is visiting, so I'll be a bit late to the meeting for Lady Suzuran's funeral, okay? She'll understand."
The boy pouted, "Mou, mom~ I only got one line!"
From her periphery, she saw their guest scoff and face forward, seemingly aware of her intentions. Ignoring such actions, and Seita's complains, she clasped her hands together and beamed, "Thanks, dear!"
"Fine, mom. Tōgyō-san, I'll be quick!"
Seita soon began running. Takasugi, on the other hand, remained seated on the bench, with him still turning his back on her. Hinowa sensed that he was probably just waiting for her to speak.
"Setsuna gave Seita his name. It's written with the characters 晴太, which symbolizes the clear and boundless sky that we all wished for. And absolutely, Seita was the one, who freed us by opening up the ceiling; and saved us from the darkness and death by living as the child of Yoshiwara. That's why I'll protect him, no matter what. Surely, you understand, right?"
He didn't immediately reply to her subtle warning; instead, he poured himself another cup of tea, then took a sip before doing so, "I appreciate the refreshments, Lady Hinowa, even though I must say, I'm not really fond of sweets."
"What do you plan to do?"
In contrast to his vague statements, she was straightforward – eager to find out the reason why he came here. She couldn't help but think that he wishes to be saved by Seita, as well. When he only continued sipping his tea, she followed up, "I believe a busy man like you are not the type to claim custody."
"That's right. I don't plan to do anything."
His answer, this time, came quick – as if he was already anticipating such question, and has already made up his mind a long time ago. Feeling somewhat relieved at his response, it was her turn to grow silent, waiting for the answer to her unspoken 'why'. Trying to be as patient as possible, she watched him place the cup on the tray, then sluggishly tilted his head up.
"I just wanted to see the clear skies from down here. I was simply curious, that's all."
"How do you find the sky from down here, then?"
He let out a low chuckle; and she noted how broken it sounded.
"Nothing special. I got to say that I find it annoyingly extra bright and chummy, though. Nevertheless...I still prefer it much more than dark clouds and rain from up there."
Right now, what sky-like eyes stared at was not the back of a terrorist, but the back of a depressed young man, who has probably lost more than an olive eye. This must've been what the dark gray eyes of Setsuna had seen, as well. Hinowa, therefore, wondered if Tsukuyo's violet eyes saw this in her master, too, as she carried him on her shoulders. After all, she, herself, saw this in Housen, as she supported the dying old man's head on her lap - achieving her original purpose of helping this 'mister' make up with the sun.
Indeed, it was the job of a courtesan to listen to their client's woes, and comfort them. This was why Lady Suzuran and Maizou's story was refreshing, because it was the male, who comforted the female, whenever Sadasada used her.
Ah.
'It was seriously difficult to be a woman in a world of troublesome men.'
Her thoughts were interrupted by the other's deep voice, "I must take my leave now", making her realize that they were both quiet for some time. Takasugi stood up, and finally faced her.
"You seem to be busy with an upcoming funeral, Lady Hinowa."
That last sentence, along with the fact that she's once again staring at his orb that screams vengeance and chaos, made her think. She couldn't completely grasp in what way, but there's a high possibility that he was involved in the recent ruckus in the palace. This brought her back to the cruel reality that this depressed young man was set to take this nation – heck, maybe even the entire world – down.
Due to this, there was a temptation to let the guy know that he's welcome to visit anytime and bond with his son – with the current de facto ruler of Yoshiwara hoping that the blessed child, who has saved this city and its women, could also save this man and his soul, and ultimately save the nation and the whole world from destruction.
But the more rational part of her decided against such proposition.
She was reminded of how definite he has sounded earlier, when he told her that he doesn't plan to do anything regarding the kid. Thus, giving him her blessing to play the role of a father and spend time with his son might not exactly do much to the good of this world. Hinowa figured that there must be something that the man deemed as more important than Setsuna and Seita. Setsuna most likely learned this too, and understood, anyways.
The wise raven-haired lady was not entirely knowledgeable about the story behind such lonely eye; but what she does know is that the thought of Seita's green turning into Takasugi's kind of green was terrifying. While she doesn't exactly know what Takasugi's green had witnessed to be like that, she knew what Seita's green has witnessed at such a young age. There were times when the eight-year-old wakes up from a nightmare, shaking and crying. Hinowa could only secure him in her arms, and listen as he pours out everything that haunts him – Kagura-chan's brother smashing his sister down with an umbrella, then killing so many women, with a smile on his face; Housen kicking Gin-san straight to the wall; an injured Gin-san bringing home a beaten-up Tsukuyo-nee, and so on. Some moments, the poor kid even apologizes to his mom in heaven for causing her death; to his grandpa, also in heaven, for not being able to take care of him when he grew ill; and to her, for being the reason why her feet got cut; and to the others, who got hurt for his sake.
This pure child has seen way too much; so, the mother in her vowed to never let her son's eyes lose their brilliance.
Never in thousands of moons.
Things would be harder for this precious boy if he gets more attached to the samurai he innocently knew as Tōgyō-san. It would be more painful for him once he manages to discover that his father's an insane criminal being hunted down by many, called Takasugi Shinsuke.
This sun swore to never let Seita be near someone that might eventually burn him.
That's why she's determined that this shall be the first and last time she'll allow the two to see each other.
There must be no promises made; no full moons to wait.
Somehow, she could sense that Takasugi thought the same. These adults, in a way, shared a mutual agreement and set such rule. With this, Hinowa didn't move, as the man wordlessly walked out the shop.
.
.
.
"Tōgyō-san! Wait!"
This child, however, was born of rebels.