It was a frozen moment of unsurety, of wondering if ghosts actually were a thing, of disbelief and incredulity, of a tidal wave of emotions and confusion, before balder jumped up, and squished Loki in the biggest hug he could manage.
"What." Was all Loki could manage. "What."
It wasn't even a question, just pure overwhelmed bewilderment. His world, his very perception of reality was crumbling around him.
"Good Norns, you sound fifty years old." Hodir giggled as he wriggled to his feet. "Are you okay? You haven't lost any limbs while we were gone, have you?"
"What." Loki repeated.
They were dead. He'd killed them, it had all been his fault, and he'd lived with the guilt for over a decade. This couldn't be real. It was some sick joke Hela had made to pull his guard.
Sigyn was no better off, simply standing in the doorway, her mouth open like a fish. So it wasn't a hallucination, not if she could see them.
"Uh, I think we stunned them a bit." Balder laughed nervously, and held his brother's shoulders to give him a bit of space. "Too much at once?"
"Balder…" Loki whispered.
"Yes, hello. That's me." Hodir spoke up. "I'm Balder, today."
"Can it." The Real Balder advised with a playful elbow to Hodir's ribs.
"Can someone please explain to me what I've believed for the past twelve years?" Sigyn suddenly demanded.
"Twelve years…" Hodir whispered in awe. "Wow, you are fifty years old."
Loki immediately rounded on the on the one person they had actually come here to address. "You! What is this? What are you doing?"
"Me?" Hela's eyebrows shot up. "I didn't do anything! And here I thought you'd be happy to see them!"
"I…" He was. Oh, Valhalla above, he hardly dared admit it, but he'd barely remembered what they looked like. If they were real, if what was too good to be true was, in fact, not a fiction, then he was ecstatic. "They… You…"
"It was Odin's fault." Balder attempted. "He framed you."
"Framed me for what?" Loki blurted. "Balder, I killed you. What's there to frame?"
"You didn't, actually." Hodir volunteered. "You killed Odin's doubles of us. Clever, when you really think about it. Twisted, disgusting, but clever."
"But… Nidavellir." Sigyn cut in. "I was there. You had the vision, and you saw your death, and everything after it until Ragnarok. That's what you said in your letter."
"I what?" Balder interrupted. "That's what he went with? Seriously? That's not even how my visions work."
"Okay, but do you two actually have any crumpets?" Hela suggested. "I think a bit of a sit-down might be in order."
"To let down our guard so you can skin us? I think not." Loki snorted. "Why should we listen to you?"
"Because… I'm kinda the meta-deity impersonating truth and light?" Balder suggested with his most amiable smile. "Loki, I promise. We aren't dead. We're as dead as you are."
"Then you're in varying stages of questionability." Sigyn snorted into her hand.
"That's fair." Hodir admitted. "Please, just sit down, and we can talk about this?"
Well, with those twin pleading looks on his baby brother's faces, he really couldn't say no. "…Alright." He agreed, and sat down, cross-legged on the floor. He still had his daggers, and Sigyn had his back, so he was going to be okay. "Carry on."
Balder knelt down in front of him, his eyes still drinking in the very sight of Loki, as if one blink would cause him to vanish. "Well. It's a hard place to begin. You remember Sif?"
"Do I ever." Sigyn snorted, as she settled herself beside her husband. "She's the reason we went to Nidavellir in the first place."
"Right." Balder nodded. "Don't you think it's weird how she never got punished for assaulting the royal family?"
"Well, now that you mention it…" Loki admitted.
"She was an agent of Odin's." Hodir cut in. "Or so we theorize. We do know for sure she didn't actually hate you; she was just acting under his command. When you cut off her hair and had to go on that quest, it was the perfect opportunity."
"For what?"
"I'm getting to that." Balder waved his hands impatiently. "Odin never really intended for any of us except Thor to even have a chance at the monarchy, and he was… well, he wasn't ready. You know, you saw him. Odin thought he needed something serious and important to happen to ground him, so that the kingdom wouldn't fall into ruin the moment he stepped up. So when you asked us two if we wanted to go on a quest with you, he decided it was the perfect opportunity."
Loki felt the blood drain from his face as he suddenly caught on to what Balder was positing.
"Hela was just in the way, no offense." Balder gave her a small grin his sister's way.
"None taken." Hela gave a salute.
"So he wanted a way to get rid of all three of us, so it was just going to be you and Thor. You were still necessary, because he'd completely given up hope of Thor's potential to make wise decisions. He locked Hodir and I in the dungeons until your trial, and sent complete and perfect duplications of us on the quest with you. Why else did you think Hodir would be carrying around my one weakness?"
Loki felt sick. His head whirled, and could only turn helplessly to Sigyn.
"But wait." She shook her head. "Hold on a second. We touched you. You weren't illusions. And how would Odin possibly know Loki would want to shoot Balder?"
"They're always throwing stuff at him." Hodir pointed out. "Or, they were. It's hilarious. Or it was."
"They weren't illusions, no." Hela spoke up. "They were duplicates. Doppelgängers created by the Odinforce. That's why he had to Sleep the moment the whole thing was set up. It used an enormous amount of power."
"And then how do you fit into all this?" Loki wanted to know.
"Odin knew she'd take your side, and protect you." Balder explained. "It's what big siblings do, unless they're Thor, and then they're impulsive, reckless dears who aren't really thinking through what they're doing. And certainly never imagining Odin would do much more than grounding you to your room for a month. That's the worst punishment he ever got; you know that?"
"Well, after you left, he was banished to Midgard for a couple weeks." Loki corrected. "But you have a point."
"Where he found a girlfriend and was pampered and babied and treated like a hero of a prince the whole time." Balder snorted. "Yeah, I Saw."
"You did?" Sigyn pressed. "But I thought you said your visions didn't work like that."
"They're snapshots." Balder explained. "Just a moment in time. You remember when I saw you with the man on Midgard with a metal heart? And your daughter? I still don't know either of their names. It's just a picture. Like… Like a misplaced memory. My consciousness overlaps onto two separate places on the timestream. Sort of like the Tesseract, just way more annoying in every way. I saw Thor, on Midgard, being treated like a prince, with a girl he was making moony eyes at. It's… pretty obvious to put the pieces together from there. How badly did that relationship crash and burn, by the way?"
"Not too terribly." Loki rolled his eyes. "He's calling it a mutual dumping."
Both twins snorted, and Hela shook her head fondly. "He's a piece of work, isn't he?"
"Yeah, where is he?" Hodir wanted to know. "He still owes me a cookie."
"Of course he does." Loki laughed in disbelief, tears welling up in his eyes. He didn't even know why Hodir was owed a cookie, but he'd remembered. And he was capable of remembering. And now Thor would be able to give it to him, because he was alive. He was here, living, breathing, being his normal snarky self.
"But back to Hela," Balder was saying, "Odin knew she'd protect you with everything she got, and he knew he could use it as an excuse to erase her from everything but his guilty conscience. I watched our funeral from our cell in the dungeons."
"I wanted to go." Hodir chipped in. "Not every day someone gets to attend their own funeral. But Odin came down in the middle, and banished us here. Where… we've been ever since."
"Mother used to visit on birthdays. She'd bring us fresh changes of clothes and candies and things." Balder went on. "Until… well, you know."
"How long has it been for you?" Sigyn asked in a hushed voice.
"Six years." Hela offered.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Loki demanded. His cheeks were wet, and he wasn't even sure when the tears had spilled over. "You were there, at Ragnarok. You got through to Sigyn. Thor and I were right there. You barely even acknowledged us as your family."
Hela's cheeks flushed, and she glanced down at her battered boots. "Well… I didn't know if I could trust you. If Odin had gotten his way, you both would've turned out just like him. And you don't… You don't engage with madmen like him. That, and… Well, I won't lie. I was angry. I was furious at you for being the ones Odin had chosen to survive. For being the goody-two-shoes, for barely even realizing, even then, how awful that man was. I… made a lot of mistakes."
"No shit." Loki hissed. "You killed my entire special forces. They had families, Hela."
"I know." She whispered. "And I'm… I'm not going to try to excuse myself for that. That… That was really terrible of me. I know I could never earn your forgiveness, but… if there was any way I could show I really am sorry, you can name it."
"Any way?" Loki's eyes narrowed, and he wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Drop dead."
"Loki, no." Sigyn glared at him. "You heard Balder, this wasn't her fault."
"Yes it was."
"Well, yes it was." She pushed back her hair in a flustered, frustrated motion. "But it wasn't her… It wasn't how she typically is. You know? She was just…"
"Don't justify her." Loki shook his head. "That was inexcusable. She's killed thousands."
"Because that's what Odin turned her into." Sigyn insisted. "He brings out the worst in people, you know that. I'm not justifying it. I'm not… excusing it. I'm just saying… Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?"
"No, Sigyn, please." Hela shook her head. "He has every right to be angry. I did… unspeakable things."
"Yeah, but…"
"Just because you're sweet enough to find it in your heart to forgive me doesn't mean everyone can." Hela said with a sad smile. "You're the exception, not the rule. And you're going to have to be okay with that."
Suddenly, Loki felt far more justified in being mad at Hela, and yet even more guilty, at the same time.
"Can we come back?" Hodir spoke up. "Now that Ragnarok's over with? And you have a New Asgard?"
"Not Hela." Loki restated.
"So we'd leave her here, all alone?" Sigyn demanded. "Yeah, no. I'm not okay with that."
"We could banish her to Midgard." Balder suggested brightly. "Strip her of her power and everything. And then sometimes we could visit."
"I can't strip her of her powers without the Odinforce." Loki shook his head. "And knowing what I know about it, now, I wouldn't want to ever use it again."
"Do you think you could trust her that far?" Sigyn suggested. "She can't draw power from Midgard, and SHIELD would have their eyes on her. We'd be notified if anything came up."
Loki gave her a long, scrutinizing glare. "Very well. But only because my wife wishes it."
The five of them arrived back at the Malibu house to find it dark and mostly quiet. Mostly, because Friday was playing Billie Eilish's Happier Than Ever album over the loudspeakers while Vali sat on the couch and clicked away at his laptop's keyboard, while Dawn lay drowsily on a blanket spread over the cushions beside him and sleepily kicked her bitsy feet.
Sigyn went to direct their guests to the rooms they could sleep in, tonight.
"Va?" Loki cleared his throat. Vali jumped nearly three feet with a yelp that terrified Dawn, making her burst into sad little screeches.
Vali basically tossed his laptop over his shoulder in his desperation to soothe his small sister. "Hi, Father. She was fine until I screamed." He insisted while setting about the task of giving her cuddles until she decided to feel safe, again.
"What is this? Billie?" He gestured up at the overhead speakers.
"Halley's Comet." Vali grinned sheepishly. "It's sleepy-feeling music, I thought. She likes it. Friday, back me up, please."
"Mr. Vali is quite right, sir." Friday obligingly chipped in. "I've calculated a 73% decrease in Ms. Dawn's distress while Ms. Eilish's music plays."
"You mean I have another Billie fan in the house?" Loki rolled his eyes in mock-exasperation. "It's an infiltration, I tell you."
Vali snickered, and gently petted Dawn's head as she drifted back to the land of half-asleep baby adorableness. "What'd you do on your quest?"
"Oh, good gracious." Loki sighed. "I made a really big mistake, I think."
"Yeah?" Vali's eyes widened as he set Dawn back down on the couch. "What kind of mistake?"
"I brought your uncles and aunt back from the dead." He snorted. "At least, for all intents and purposes."
"You mean… Hela?" Vali's eyes got even wider. "And your twin brothers… um…"
"Balder and Hodir." He nodded. "The very same."
"Like… Are they going to haunt us, now?" Vali guessed. "Or… what?"
"No, they never died." Loki shook his head again, still quite unable to comprehend it, himself. "Do you remember them?"
"I remember Hela killed Lady Eir." Vali's voice was extremely neutral, almost dangerously so.
Rats. Loki had forgotten that. "Er… yes. I… Well, you won't have to deal with her, much longer. She's moving to New York. And the twins… not you, my twins. Well, you are my twins, but…"
"I know." Vali interrupted.
"Yeah, they're going to Norway. With Thor." Loki ran a hand through his hair. "I'm… I'm sorry, I didn't think about…"
"S'okay." Vali shrugged as he reached for his laptop, again. "What's done is done."
"Is it really alright, though?" Loki whispered. "I… I don't know if it is. She's…"
"She's fine." Vali insisted. "If she acts out, we can stuff her in the Penguin Habitat. Right?"
"You're taking this surprisingly well." He pointed out.
Vali only shook his head. "I'm under the Hippocratic oath, otherwise I'd be all for… I don't even know what. Vengeance is… Well, it got you killed, didn't it? No offense."
That was an excellent point. It wasn't as if Loki exactly wanted vengeance, though, nor justice. He just wanted his family to be safe. But Vali was right, there was always the penguin habitat.
"You better call uncle Thor." Vali pointed out. "Cause it's nearly two in the morning, and I'm about to fall asleep on my feet."
TheOnlyHuman.
There will always be more to tell, of course.
In the Elvish tradition, one always ends a story with the words "Thus it is Told," indicating that every story is a cycle, an endless loop that simply goes on and on.
To tell you all would be to go on to explain how Hela started her own coffee shop in New York, and lived out the rest of her days alone. How Balder was reunited with Nanna, how Hodir finally got his cookie from Thor, how Vali was donated an enormous sum from an anonymous donor to pay for his Midgardian medical doctorate degree, and became the greatest healer the Nine realms had ever known.
How the children grew up, fell in love, and had children of their own. How Loki and Sigyn's restless hearts took to the stars for their next adventure, becoming swords for hire, space vigilantes, and came back to visit their children on Christmas and birthdays.
It seems lazy writing to say "And then they all had so many adventures that if it was all written down, no books would be able to hold all the stories," but truly, that is how stories work. They never end. There is only a cutoff point, where you must imagine the rest, because he storyteller simply cannot tell you any more.
Even if Loki and Sigyn lived the rest of their days as boring, normal people, their stories would still affect others. Their children's stories would affect even more. It goes on and on in a never-ending loop of birth, death, and miraculous expectation.
Therefore, this is not The End.
It never will be.
This is simply as far as this story can go, as we have now reached a single full cycle.
It is only how it is told.
