Chapter Eight: I Do It Too:
Khan and Spock shared a long look as they watched Jim speed off after the stolen car, neither of them had a particularly good feeling about it. The Vulcan gestured for him to follow, and hurried over to the first car they saw, Spock hesitated for only a moment before shoving his fist through the driver's window and unlocked it, clambering inside.
"You know how to hot wire a car?" Khan asked in disbelief as he jumped in the passenger side.
"The Captain's personality has a tendency to rub off on me, do not tell him that however, it will merely inflate his already considerable ego." the Vulcan responded with a heavy sigh as he fiddled with the wires he needed.
"My lips are sealed." he muttered, a small smirk playing around the edges of his lips.
A few moments later they were on their way, following the same route they had seen Jim disappear down. There were no words between the pair, but the tension in the car was thick enough to cut with a knife. Khan borrowed Spock's communicator and used it to contact McCoy, giving him a quick relay of everything that had happened.
"What do you mean he went after someone?!" the doctor's voice was so loud, Khan had to pull the device away from his ear a little.
"I didn't see them, but he must have recognised them... He just took off and got on a bike. We're following now. But... You're going to start receiving casualties soon, I thought you should be warned." he told him, glancing out of the window for any sign of Jim as they passed several scenes of tables and chairs having been mown over.
"Alright... I appreciate the heads up." Bones's voice was heavy and he could hear a bustle of movement in the background.
Khan had just snapped the communicator shut when he suddenly sat forwards, hand flying to his chest as an explosion of pain ripped through him, forcing a joked sound from between tightly pursed lips. His eyes went wide as his head followed suit, that same stabbing pain shooting between his ears, strong enough to drive a soft hiss of discomfort from him.
Spock nearly lost control of the car, having jumped so severely at Khan's abrupt change, "What's wrong?" he asked.
"I... I'm not sure..." he panted, his stomach churning as he pressed his free hand onto the dashboard, trying to acclimatise to the pain, "I... I think its James..."
Another groan of pain, his head hanging low as everything started throbbing and aching. His fingers curled into fists, nails digging so hard into his skin they began to slice and heal in rapid succession. He shook his head, flashes of thoughts; sights rushing through him that weren't his own.
The Vulcan watched from the corner of his eye, putting his foot down far more than he would usually be comfortable with, speeding out of the city outskirts and into the suburbs, where the density of city traffic lessened until they were alone.
He found himself stunned by his own concern for Khan's well being, whatever he was feeling seemed agonising and paralysing, not the kind of thing he would wish on anyone. He didn't trust the man, he doubted if he ever would. But Jim seemed to believe in him, believe that there was good in him and that was enough that he would tolerate his presence. It both concerned and pleased him to see the Captain respond to Khan like he did. Jim didn't care of people in the normal fashion, they were either family or they were objects he could use to improve his mood, and how he felt about himself. But Khan appeared to fall in neither category. He was something different.
All he knew for sure, was that he couldn't understand either of them as much as he would like to, even the power of mind-melding had limitations. But he understood enough to know that there was something between them. Was it just the DNA drawing them together, or was it something more? Time would tell, he supposed.
The car began to slow, and the pair stared at the scene ahead with wide eyes and expressions of horror tinged with disbelief. There was a thick plume of black smoke winding its way into the sky, coming from what appeared to be, what was left of a motorbike.
Khan was out of the car before it had stopped properly, not able to see entirely clearly he lurched forwards, passed the burning bike, his steps quickening to a jog as he saw a body not far away, blood staining the tarmac.
He dropped to his knees and gently leaned over, cupping Jim's face as his own expression crumbled, "No..." he breathed, gulping hard and pressing his fingers into his neck, trying to find a pulse. His heart thundering as he failed to find it.
Spock stood not far away, his body frozen in shock, "Jim..." he flinched at the memory of Jim in the containment chamber of the Warp Core, hand sliding down the glass after having made the Vulcan greeting with his hand.
The dark haired former terrorist felt his eyes sting, but he refused to let the tears fall, swallowing it back as best he could before he began working on Jim's body, fixing what he could by himself, realigning bones and using his sleeves to dab away at the still fresh blood on his skin. Maybe, if he did some of the work of the DNA himself, it would work.
"How... How is this possible?" Spock asked, slowly kneeling on his other side, looking at Khan questioningly, "Why isn't he healing?"
Khan didn't answer at first, his hands shaking and coming to rest on the blond's chest, he swallowed hard and glanced at the Vulcan uncertainly, "Even... Even I have limits on what I can repair... James isn't even fully like me yet, if he ever would have been... His limits would be far lower than mine... The DNA can't cope with all this... This..."
He let out a sharp groan of pain, not physical but emotional, his heart aching so much he wished he could rip it out, he sat back and stared up at the sky, fighting with the innate urge to kill someone, anyone, to crush them between his hands and make his own pain lessen. Such rage bubbled under the surface, rage he hadn't felt for months, rage which had been quelled by Jim, by his warmth and support, by everything good about him as a person.
Spock could see the emotion, almost feel it through its potency, unlike the last time he had seen Jim die he felt no anger, only sadness, heavy and drowning. He reached out slowly, his own breathing accelerating nervously as he pressed his fingers to the side of Khan's face and closed his eyes, allowing the mind-meld to flow.
Pain. So much pain, running the length of his heart and soul.
Regret, the desire to change things which had happened in the past, to be better, kinder, more like Jim.
Happiness, the good memories, their months spent together, learning about each other, becoming less like strangers and more like friends.
Joy, the small things they had both done, bad tasting tea, good tasting food, the dance at the party, the almost kiss.
Attraction, obvious to the two of them, subtle to the rest of the world. Two souls on a completely different course, changing their path and coming together to form one team. A good team.
Lastly, there was l-
Khan pulled back sharply, eyes closed and his head bowing slightly as he bit his lip hard enough to draw blood, "You would mind-meld with me?" he breathed, his voice held no anger, no malice, instead there was surprise.
"We are both suffering." Spock said softly, looking down at Jim, "We both care for him in our own way."
The dark haired man swallowed hard and inhaled a deep breath, "True enough."
He leaned down suddenly, cupping Jim's face in his hands before pressing their lips together, no longer caring what the Vulcan did or did not see. It was too late for that. Far too late. As he pulled back, a sudden spear of pain rammed its way through his skull and with a surprised gasp, he fell to the side and his eyes fluttered momentarily as unconsciousness took him, and a dream formed in his mind which wasn't his own.
Jim walked forwards slowly, meeting the Vulcan eye to eye, "What is it with you Spock? Hm? You planet was just destroyed, your mother murdered and... You're not even upset."
"If you are presuming that these experiences in anyway impede my ability to command this ship, you are mistaken." Spock said bluntly, having no issue holding his gaze.
"And yet you were to the one who said that 'fear was necessary for command'... Did you see his ship? Did you see what he did?"
"Yes of course I did." there was the smallest of changes in his dark eyes.
"So are you afraid or aren't you?" Jim demanded, never breaking eye contact.
"I will not allow you to lecture me on the merits of emotion." Spock near snarled.
"Then why don't you stop me."
"Step away from me, Mister Kirk."
"What is it like? Not to feel anger, or heartbreak? Or the need to stop at nothing to avenge the death of the women who gave birth to you?
"Back away from me." a growl.
"You feel NOTHING! It must not even compute for you. You never loved her."
Snap. He'd hit the right nerve.
Spock released a primal yell of utter fury and planted his fist in Kirk's face, a flurry of further jabs and strikes hailing down on the blond man, who barely fought back against it. Spock then grabbed him by the scruff of his jumper and hauled him over one of the nearby consoles, fingers wrapped firmly around his throat.
Spluttering and choking filled the bridge, until Sarek finally let out a sharp command for the Vulcan to stop. It was only his voice which seemed to rouse him from the red mist of rage that had fallen over his mind, and he slowly released the blond, taking stumbling steps away from him, head hung as he felt almost too ashamed to meet anyone's gaze.
Jim gasped for breath, leaning forward on his knees as he watched the Vulcan, regret filling the void where his temper had been as he watched the deflated half-human relinquish command of the ship on the basis of having been emotionally compromised by the mission at hand, before walking out, with only the smallest glance at Uhura.
Silence fell for a brief moment, no one entirely sure how to react to what had occurred in front of them, until Scotty expressed his excitement at being on board, which seemed to rouse everyone from their stupor.
Bones was the first to speak after that, his expression showing contempt towards his friend, "Well, congratulations Jim, now we've got no Captain and no God damn First Officer to replace him."
Jim met his gaze evenly and a flicker of a grin touched his lips, "Yeah, we do." he murmured before pushing away from the console and taking confident strides towards The Chair.
"Pike made him First Officer." Sulu pointed numbly at the man.
"You gotta be kidding me." the doctor heaved a sigh.
"Thanks for the support." Jim muttered as he took a seat.
There was a moment of pause from the blond, The Chair felt as good as he had ever expected it to. Strange how an inanimate object could provide such a sense of purpose and confidence. And damn it felt good.
"Khan!" Spock yelled sharply, shaking the dark haired man, trying to wake him.
His eyes flew open and on instinct his fingers wrapped around the Vulcan's throat, though he released him almost instantly, panting hard as he looked around, trying to make sense of what had just happened, "Sorry... I'm sorry I didn't mean to..."
"It's fine," Spock murmured, sitting back slowly as he watched him sit up, eyeing him sceptically.
Khan glanced at him, swallowing hard and recovering his breath, looking away again, he opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by a soft; wheezy breath from beside them both. His head snapped around as he saw Jim's eyes flicker open.
"James?!" he exclaimed, getting up onto his knees and resting a hand on his chest, "Oh my God."
Jim coughed hard, moaning as he felt his bones beginning to pop back into correct alignment and meld together as if they were never broken, "You guys yell really loud... You know that?" he rubbed his neck and sat up carefully, "Pike whistled really loud and you yell really loud... I don't get a moment's peace between the lot of you..."
Khan let out a weak laugh, relief washing over him, "Yeah well... You are really, really hard to wake up."
The blond got to his feet, tentatively at first, and took a few deep breaths of the smoke tinged air, cracking his neck and feeling some comfort from the way his muscles relaxed afterwards, he turned and spat on the tarmac, clearing the last of the blood from his mouth.
"Captain, how do you feel?" the Vulcan asked shakily, not entirely able to believe his eyes, "What do you remember?"
"Well... I remember dying, again. I'm trying to decide which time was more painful... Radiation or... This shit." he gestured to his still healing body, "I saw the man from the recording, the one who planted the bomb at Head Quarters and I would bet my life, well maybe not that so soon, that he was responsible for the explosion of the apartments. I got too close to the car, it braked and I did a few somersaults."
Khan winced at the imagine which popped into his head at his story and looked him over again, making sure everything was healing properly, "And he just left you here to die?"
"It's not like he wanted to get caught, so yeah," Jim shrugged gently, grunting as his shoulder clicked back into place, "He knew me though, or at least knew of me. He seemed sad that I had been the one to recognise him."
"How strange." his First Officer commented, "Did you recognise him? Beyond what we know already?"
"No... I have no idea who he is." the Captain shook his head, wiping some of the blood and dirt from his face with his tattered sleeve, "But for now... He's escaped."
Khan's expression softened slightly and he moved closer, cupping his face gently, "I thought you were dead... I was ready to commit murder in your name."
Jim chuckled softly but stopped when he saw the sincerity in his eyes, "I'm fine, I'm not going anywhere."
"You were dead." he stated simply.
"Yeah, yeah I was..." he broke into a smirk, "Funny how that happens."
"How did you come back?" Spock asked, arms crossed.
Khan paused at the question, reaching up slowly and touching his own lips, "Blood... My blood. When I kissed him, I was bleeding... It must have been enough to kick start the reaction."
"I wondered why it didn't work right away, I assumed I'd taken too much damage." Jim murmured.
"You are likely correct, even I have limits, and as I told Spock: yours are far lesser than mine, because you're still changing, still... In flux." icy eyes narrowed slightly, "Don't you ever do that to me again. Do you understand?"
"I'll certainly do my best, but it does appear that I draw life threatening situations to myself... So I Can't promise anything." he joked it off.
Khan gripped his face between his hands firmly, forcing him to look into his deadly serious eyes, "I mean it," he brought them closer and brushed his ears with his lips, "I cannot lose you."
Jim was silent for a moment but nodded once, "You won't. I promise."
As they parted, Jim noticed that Spock had turned away to give them privacy, and smiled slightly at his slightly changed attitude, maybe Spock understood better than he'd thought. He glanced at the scene around him, in all honest, he wasn't sure how he'd pulled it off. Somehow, Khan had saved him again, whether on purpose or not. One thing was for sure, he definitely wasn't invincible.
"I think I need to get away from the city for a while, maybe just a week or two. The apartment is gone, I want to go and see my mum." he commented softly, looking up at the slightly cloudy sky, "And you are coming with me."
"What?" Spock and Khan said together.
"Well, Khan you were staying with me anyway, you need somewhere to go, and I'm sure my mum will love you." he smirked slightly, "She has a thing for anti-social strays."
"Anti-social?" Khan repeated, raising his eyebrows, "I am not anti... Alright, I might be slightly anti-social. It would... Be an honour to meet your mother."
Jim smiled slightly at that and slowly looked at his best friend, "You should come too, and by that I mean it would be good if you did."
Spock seemed surprised for a moment before he raised an eyebrow and nodded, "I would enjoy seeing your mother again, she is a fascinatingly intelligent woman. And before you ask, Captain, I met her during my first year at the Academy, she assisted in the programming of the Kobayashi Maru."
"She what?" he stared, "My mother? You worked with my mum? And you never mentioned it?"
"It never appeared relevant to our conversations." the Vulcan stated simply.
The Captain shook his head in disbelief and started walking towards the car in which the other two had arrived in, he slowed and tilted his head, "This isn't your car, Spock... Did you seriously drive that thing here?"
"Yes, Captain," his First Officer responded, "I learned how to hot wire vehicles from you."
Scoffing, he looked over his shoulder at the man, "Whatever you do, don't tell anyone that. My list of offences is far long enough already."
Khan watched the pair interact for a moment, trying to ignore the way Spock kept glancing over at him, he reached out sharply as Jim swayed, and steadied him, guiding him into the back of the car, "Steady on."
"I'm fine... I just feel a bit drained." the other complained, but allowed himself to be seated anyway.
"I don't care if you think you're fine, you need to rest. It takes a lot of energy to repair wounds like what you had, don't be afraid to sleep." the former convict muttered firmly.
"Alright... I am a little tired..." Jim sighed softly, "Sorry for worrying you."
"Don't apologise. I'm just glad you are alive." he pressed a kiss against the top of his head as he sat beside him in the car.
"Mm, I'm too tenacious to be anything but alive." Jim's words began to slur faintly as he slipped towards sleep.
"No arguments from me." he smirked.
"Bastard."
"You love it." Khan said confidently.
"No comment. People leave when I tell them that." Jim sighed deeply before finally sinking into sleep, leaning heavily against him.
Khan stared down at him with a surprising amount of affection showing on his face, he could tell from Jim's breathing that he had fallen deeply, and was glad. He would need a lot of rest to recover properly from what he'd experienced. But his words echoed through his mind, making him think. Did James fear abandonment to the extent of keeping his feelings silenced? What was he saying, of course he did. And how did he know that? Simple. He did it too.