I do not own anything but the plot and OCs. Everything else belongs to Sega, Archie, SATam, and all those who created them
There are a few adult themes in this chapter. No lemons, no limes, guaranteed.
Long chapter with a lot of flipping between characters.
Chapter 21: Looking Into What's Next
A couple of twin cats, one purple, the other white, were standing on a cold mountain, in a temple, near seven special emeralds- The Sol Emeralds, and one was very immature, like a certain telekinetic hedgehog, and the other serious, like a certain pyrokinetic cat.
The telekinetic, purple cat, Blueberries, was tapping around the items she was supposed to protect, as her time traveling sister, Strawberries tried her best to stop her, but alas, one cannot protect themself from stupidity.
And so, whoever Blueberries has known within her age bracket, has been teleported into the past... Now let us see where this chaos begins.
As any story would do, let us begin with the characters we had two paragraphs ago- Blueberries and Strawberries- wide eyed from their forced journey, looked around. When Blueberries looked at her sister, she could only see an angry cat, whose ears were pinned back, and her mouth drawn into a growl.
"Dammit Blueberries," Strawberries hissed. "Where the hell has your stupidity taken us now?"
"You're the time traveler," Blueberries retorted. "So you tell me."
"You're as dumb as the Iblis Trigger." Strawberries insulted.
"You know that's our father, right?" questioned her twin.
"Yeah, that's the point." replied the other.
"Well, let's go find our Dumbass, Iblis Trigger father and maybe he can fix this." Blueberries said at last after a long pause.
"He better." mummbled Strawberries
And so, our twins set off to find their beloved father. Meanwhile, three idiots had awoken just like our twin heroines.
Upon awaking, they acknowledged each other:
"Chto sluchilos'." exclaimed a young black weasel.
"I dunno." replied back a female polar bear with shimmering green eyes and a semi extended belly.
The green duck said nothing but continued to look around, before the three stood up.
"Where are we? And where are we gonna go?" asked the duck.
"Nico, Nikayla, maybe if we wander around, we'll find somebody that will help us!" the young weasel squeaked.
"Or maybe, we could go get a taco and see where life takes us now." Nikayla replied.
"You're always hungry!" Skylar whined.
"I'm pregnant, you dipshit!" the polar bear yelled back.
"And flooded with hormones." Nico mumbled.
"Don't forget fat!" some random robin yelled before he flew away.
"Kakogo cherta," Skylar remarked. "That bitch stole my line!"
"Shut up both of you," Nikayla yelled, grabbing both boys and lifting them up. "I'm pregnant, and somebody needs to carry me!"
She threw them both down, and they both took their places, Nico, who had the strength of Bean's partner for life, Bark, lifted up Nikayla and carried her with ease. Skylar would walk beside the two, and as expected of him, would start complaining as soon as his feet hurt. Or his asshole. Whichever wasn't kicked the most by Nico, who held enough sense to hold a big polar bear in his face and walk blindly into everything, and by everything, we mean Skylar.
And eventually, they stumbled through the bushes and onto Team Hooligan! Their fathers!
Team Hooligan was doing as Team Hooligan does- plotting their next expedition and gambling with each other.
Of course Nack always had a gift in poker, so Bean and Bark cut their losses and played anyways. At least this time they played for fun, not to swindle.
"Dobryj den'." greeted a young, Russian voice.
The entire team just about jumped out of their fur (and feathers, for Bean's case) and turned around, ready to scuffle with a new threat- a 12 year old boy that look startlingly like Nack.
Nack has shot people before, but he made sure that he didn't hurt children. He couldn't say much for the Destructix when he ran with them, save for Simian and Predator, as for the other two not giving two fucks for whoever they hurt when they swept through.
And now here he was, pointing a gun at a kid; again. He hated moments like these because there's a difference between Sonic and this kid.
Nack was sure that this kid wasn't looking for a fight, otherwise he wouldn't have a goofy grin on his face as his friends poured out from the ruffage.
Sonic, Sonic was a kid by legal terms, despite being 16, but he actively sought out to fight him. And this kid looks to be at least 12! And worst of all, shared a hauntingly similar facial structure and protruding fang.
"Who are you?" Nack stuttered, raising his gun. He didn't know if he was more scared of himself, his first reactions, or the kid just standing there, happy to have a gun pointed at him seemingly.
The boy smiled and replied, "Menja zovut Skylar Fang. Prijatno poznakomit'sja."
"Ja ne govorju pro-russki." Bean said immediately.
It was then, this foreign weasel, Skylar, got the message. "Hi daddy."
It was unnerving to hear those words to Nack, buteven more unnerving to Bean and Bark how this young weasel shifted accents.
"My son looks like a demon." Nack choked, remarking on Skylar's black fur and blood red eyes.
Skylar blinked and said, "I guess it is where you came from another dimension, or the fact that my babushka had red eyes."
All three members of Team Hooligan paused for a few moments before a realization struck.
"Wait a minute-" Nack said, swiping his future son's hand in his. He took off the boy's glove and counted the fingers. Four. Just like the people where he came from.
Nack pulled his son's hand up to his hand, the four fingers lined up perfectly with each other, save for his being bigger.
The purple weasel's bronze eyes widened and he looked at his confused son and said, "Wait, aren't you suppossed to be Nic's kid? I don't ever recall the urge to go back to the Special Zone any time soon."
Everybody's mouth dropped. "Hey dumbass," Nikayla called, making Nack cringe with wrath. "Why do you think he called you his dad. I'm the daughter of Nic and Bark. You're my uncle. Skylar's my cousin."
"That makes us related." Skylar yipped with glee.
Nack looked between Skylar, Nikayla, Nico, Bean, and Bark. Bark was jumping up and down like he had been granted the key to Mobius.
"Stop jumping you big, dumb fuck," Nack snapped at the bear. "You may get to fuck my sister in the future but that doesn't clear up the creep factor going on here, like how and why the fuck and I'm staring at my son? And what the fuck do they want with us?"
"And is she pregnant?" Bean points out, sounding startled.
You could hear the rip of a record, and then Nack screeching, "What the fu-" Bark silenced him and looked at his potential daughter's distended belly.
"It's true!" he signed.
Bean looked ready to pass out, and Nack held a "What Now" face.
"Oh yeah, we made a video too!" Nico shouted with glee. Bean suddenly turned from dark green, to jade green, to red, to purple, to on the floor in five seconds.
And as much of a lovable goof Bean is, he is not someone you want angry. Even Bark himself feared the day his friend would become angry enough he might not be able to settle him down, or take him, whichever was the result.
"A video," Nack scowled. "What's a couple of kids doing making a video?"
"We wanted to join the in-crowd." Nico explained.
"In-crowd!" Nack boomed. "When I was your age, everybody wanted to own a porno mag, not make a video of themselves. Goddess above! What the hell happened?"
"We decided to not be complete fuck-ups, like you guys." Nikayla admitted brazenly.
Nack threw his hat off his head and yowled, "Oh damn it all! If I'm such a complete fuck-up, then why do I still have my dignity and my reputation for not being a complete whore? And who's idea was it anyways to make this video?"
"I lost my virginity by falling down a flight of stairs and onto Nico." Nikayla spewed out randomly.
Nack clicked his gun and held it at the female polar bear, all the while Bark looked on, as if trying to decide to help her or not.
"That's not an answer," the mustelid growled angrily. "Now answer the damn question, or else I'll-"
Bark placed his hands on Nack's hands and lowered his gun for him, for he knew that Nack had the uncanny ability of shooting people midsentence before they even knew anything, and that had the result of getting only half answers.
Bark gestured towards the three strange teammates.
"Pregnant!" Skylar shouted randomly.
"Am not!" Nico argued back.
"Are-"
"Get the hell on with the story!" Bean roared, waking up.
This kind of attitude was unorthodox for Bean, but then again, if you were a parent, how would you feel if not only was your teen was knocked up by some loser, but also made a conception tape?
Skylar whimpered and Nikayla and Nico glared at Bean before they started their story, which was mostly about how they knew they were meant for each other the moment Nikayla fell down those steps and onto him, and how they decided to make a baby to conceal the confession of their undying love in stone.
"That is the dumbest reason for having a kid that I've ever heard of." Bean spat.
"We're in love. You're too old to understand that, and too fucking stupid." Nico insulted to his own dad. Bean grabbed him by the hair, his hands started glowing orange.
"Listen here you," he growled. "I will blow you sky high if you don't tell me why you're here, now!"
"We actually don't know." Nico answered, gulping nervously. Nack, Bean, and Bark looked on curiously.
"Nico, your dad is a total loser." Skylar announced randomly. Bean didn't say a word, but you could tell he was insulted by the way his hands swung onto his hips and the not-so-smug look on his face.
"Well fellas, what do you think we do now?" Nack asked the other members of his team. The two looked between each other and looked back wordlessly.
"I think we better go talk to Nic." Nack said at last.
Meanwhile somewhere else...
A band of very beatiful, curvy girls stepped into the scene; a tall, red feathered hawk leading a light green, blind frog with a male, brown and black lynx in tote behind them. Alongside the hawk, lynx, and frog, was a female gorilla, who wore tribal clothes, a green bird with red eyes, a red fox asking stupid questions, and a canary killing every bug in sight and stomping on every plant he dared deem a threat to the red hawk.
They were walking along, when they too, stumble upon their fathers.
"Damn!" half the Destructix remarked towards Tamara, Nectarine, and Jessica. "Wow, if she wasn't you daughter, she'd be my new bitch." Scourge remarked as he salivated towards Jessica's mature form.
"Except I'm your bitch!" Fiona snapped. "Well, that's what you get when you date a-" "Say it and I'll personally kill you myself!" Simian threatened the green hedgehog.
"Sheesh, can't a guy have a little-" "You'll have fun when you stop dating her!" Predator shouted out.
"Piss off," Jessica threw in, pushing Predator and clinging to Scourge. "I might just make him my bastard."
"But you look just like him." Valiance inputted.
"And I thought bastards were fatherless children?" Cinnomin added.
"I try to ignore the small things." Jessica retorted, sticking her tongue out before she realized who the red fox was.
"Mommy!" Jessica yelled out, tackling her mom and loading her with fox kisses (You know how dogs lick each other on the head) and squeezing her tightly.
Then she pulled out a picture she kept of her mother, who was 19 years old in this picture, 3 years into the future, drunkenly flashing her boobs off to the camera at a wild party while an older Flying Frog clutches his arms around her waist...without any pants on.
"Oh please tell me I'm not your daddy." Flying begged under his breath after glancing at the photo.
"Oh Goddess, please tell me you're not Flying Frog's bastard with me."
"When did Flying start fucking Fiona?" asked Scourge aloud.
"Hopefully never." Flying grumbled. "For once I agree," Fiona added. "I hate you." "I hate you too." replied Flying.
It was true, Flying and Fiona could barely stand the sight of each other, number one, because Flying stole and wore Fiona's clothes, and number two, Flying just thought of Fiona as a perpetual annoyance and made it quite obvious to her that she was not really welcome near him.
Seeing that picture just about beat the insanity out of him, as it was likely he and Fiona got very intimate after that picture was taken, and the idea of Jessica being his almost floored him.
Fiona was worried that perhaps Jessica was really Flying's, as she did hold a few of his traits, but she wasn't really sure if it wasn't from being near him too long. She was also inclined to think that maybe, she might just like the mad frog better than what she thought she did. Him too. Either way, the both of them looked ready to pass out.
"You keep that as a reminder of your mother?" Predator asked in disgust.
"Well, it's a picture of her when she was happy, before she died having me." Jessica stated gloomily. The other members, aside from Scourge, looked at Fiona with distraught faces.
"Who are the rest of you?" Scourge asked.
"I'm Tamara Armstrong." The gorilla spoke. "I'm Lake Byers." The lynx spoke. "I'm Jessica Speedway!" Jessica squealed. "I'm Cinnamon Hawayna." The blind frog spoke. Nectarine just gestured. "My name is Nikai." The green bird spoke. "And I am Valiance." The canary added. In unison, they all posed and said, "We are the Destructix, and we've come to save the day!"
"And we've come to save the day." Scourge muttered. The Destructix looked amongst themselves.
"Hey, why didn't she say anything?" Flying pointed out.
"Sorry, Nectarine can't speak, someone ripped out her vocal cords." Tamara spoke. Everyone cringed in pain. "B- d-did I lay waste to them?" Predator squawked. "Yes." Was all the female gorilla replied.
"What? Do I not have any spawn?" Scourge whined. The other members ignored him.
"Wait! So, if Fiona is your mom. Flying is Cinnomin's dad, Tamara is Simian's daughter, Nectarine is mine, and Lake is Lightning's son, then who does Nikai and Valiance belong to?" Predator asked.
"My father is Speedy." Nikai answered. Valiance added, "You and Speedy are my dads." "What?" was all the blue hawk mumbled as his teammates. His teammates looked at him skeptically.
"Don't worry, you and Speedy used our superior Babylonian technology and made me in a lab. Oh, don't look at me like that, this style has been perfected over the years. By the time you got around to doing this, it was perfected." Valiance explained.
"So me and Speedy are in a relationship with each other?" the blue hawk mumbled. He sat down on the ground. He hated Speedy. There's no way he'd be with him. Images swirled in his head of multiple dates, wedding images, and more of him and Speedy. The thoughts were unbearably intrusive.
"Gods no!" Valiance exclaimed. Predator Hawk sighed in relief. He still laid on the ground quietly.
"At least you're the king's closest advisor and a commander of your own fleet." Nikai added. He strolled up to Predator, laying speechless, and patted him on the back.
"Speedys a prince?" Simian murmured. "Yes." Was all that the blue hawk replied.
"Looks like I know exactly who to hang around now." Scourge smirked. He swung his arm around Nikai, who promptly shoved it away in disgust.
"I'm lost." Was all that Simian said. "But you're right here!" Jessica exclaimed.
"Why are you here?" Lightning finally spoke. He blinked. "We have no idea. We fell through a portal, picked a direction, and started walking." Lake responded back. "We have reason to believe that Strawberries the Cat is behind this. Or at the very least, the evil Chaotix." Tamara added.
"The Chaotix. You mean Vector, Espio, and Charmy?" Flying nervously laughed.
"Actually no," Nikai started. "They're children." "How about we all go home and discuss this." Lightning suggested.
"Yeah, sure." was tossed around as they departed off to their home.
Back With The Twins...
They had finally found Silver and Blazes temporary home when they were in Sonic's dimension (Blaze) and Sonic's timeline (Silver).
This temporary home could only be described as a beat up RV, but that was mainly due to accidents with powers, and allowing Marine to drive. And maybe that incident with Shadow, fireworks, and pie...
And since Silver was aware of their existence by now, how would they tell Blaze- by song!
As Blaze walked into the other side of the RV, each twin and Silver individually sung Blaze's name.
Blaze did not become violent, and she stood there frozen, a pile of folded, clean clothes dropping out of her hands as she stared at the trio. And of course, somebody had to brag.
And thus, Silver's verse begins:
I brought us our happiness, to prove that you like my dick better than Bean's.
And the twins joined in:
{Strawberrie's verse}
Fourteen years ago, we were born.
{Blueberries}
How 'bout you become a fourteen year old mom of fourteen year old twins.
Blaze looked cross between ready to die and ready to shoot Silver.
She spoke a few phrases to herself in her native tongue and then said, "So these are our daughters Silver?"
And Silver sang (literally), "Yes!"
"Aw, I didn't want to marry you." Blaze moaned.
And the record rips.
Silver falls to his knees, and cries/begs/sings mournfully:
Who could it be,
More worthwhile than me,
Hopefully it's not that prick with the bombs,
Or that bastard blue hawk you always say is wonderful,
For I am wonderfuller
And I have telekinesis
And I will smash that electrokinetic lynx
The next time he salivates over you,
And Bean...
And any other man...
And the RV began to float off the ground and rock, throwing Blaze into the walls of the RV.
Marine screamed with a flash of light destroying the front of the RV, and Blaze's screams scaring Silver out of his rant. Their daughters cowered in the corner, holding each other and begging for it to stop.
"Now look what you've done!" Blaze shouted, pointing at Blueberries and Strawberries when she finally regained her balance.
Silver continued to sing:
It's not what I've done!
It's what we've done!
And it's beautiful!
"Scaring Marine and destroying the RV, our home, is not beautiful," Blaze yelled. "And for your information Bean and Predator are wonderful men!"
"Oh yeah," Silver sang. "They're not normal!"
"Neither am I!"
"You're the most normalest out the bunch! "
"Really?"
"Mom," Strawberries spoke up. "Di-did you forget to tell him?"
Blaze looked on it horror, and Silver's eyes flicked back and forth.
"I guess I better tell you now," Blaze sighed in defeat. "I forgot to tell you the horror story about when I grow up on purpose because I'm not just a pyrokinetic monster from another dimension. When I grow up, I'll become a flesh-eating pyrokinetic monster from another dimension."
Silver flinched and Blaze slunked away, obviously ashamed. Their daughters stepped back a few feet.
"No wonder Bean didn't mind you." Silver mumbled.
Yes. He knew about Bean because he saw him while he was stalking Blaze on her date with him. He knew that Bean was a runaway alien escaping prosecution for having powers, and his form that he walks around Mobius in, is just a ploy.
Really, he's on fire with a shooting star marking where his bellybutton would be if he was a mammal and his pupils share the shape of his marking.
Worst of all, Bean knew Silver was there, because as Jet said, all Babylonians have the ability to read each others minds and thoughts.
Now him being a time traveler didn't place him on the normalcy spectrum, at least time travelers didn't eat people.
As far as he knew, most of them were evil. Ulterior motives ran amuck time travelers with them kidnapping people from other timelines to experiment on them, or to keep them as their personal slave. Some were tourists, but few like Silver wanted a better timeline. And people from other dimensions often kidnapped people to have. Really, most dimensional travelers come and take people they like almost as pets, or mates.
Silver ran into that issue too. And he killed his way out. And he wished Blaze would kidnap him and take him to be her slave, mate, plaything, pet, whatever she so desired. But for now, Silver saw this as his chance and hugged Blaze, singing softly, "I'll always love you no matter what."
The twins yipped in glee, and then Blaze pushed Silver away and stated, "Let's go make sure Marine is okay."
"Okay." Silver sang, smiling.
With Team Dark...
Rouge did not voluntarily allow, or want, her cousin to stay at her mansion with her and Shadow, but it was either her house or the looney bin.
Rouge was lucky that Sonic was a nice guy because Sonic's not exactly a big fan of attempted rape, and especially not on him.
So there was cousin Reeji, shackled to the kitchen table, and Rouge tried to hide her embarrassment and trying desperately to convince her to get help for her obsession when a noise falls out of nowhere.
"What the hell?" Shadow immediately pulls out his gun.
Rouge stood up immediately and followed Shadow throughout the mansion.
"What about me?" Reeji cried out before they left.
"I doubt anybody would want to deal with you!" Shadow spat.
"Shadow," Rouge cried out before she turned to her cousin. "Stay right here, we'll be right back."
"I doubt I will." Reeji slumped.
They checked every room from the kitchen to the living room until they came to Shadow's room, and standing at the threshold was two twin bats, a boy and a girl, who looked a lot like Knuckles and held his purple eyes.
"Are you guys related to Knuckles?" Rouge asked.
"That's a little stupid to ask, Mom." the boy bat spoke, raising his hand to his hip.
Shadow dropped his gun, and Rouge stepped back.
"M-mom?" she sputtered.
"Mom, don't you remember," asked the girl. "I'm Daylight. My brother's name is Jarret."
"I-I'm sorry, I don't think I've ever had kids. You're mistaken." Rouge answered.
"How old are you?" Shadow asked immediately.
"Nineteen." Jarret answered.
"Rouge is 18, she couldn't have been a mom. Who's your father?" Shadow demanded.
The twins stood silent. Shadow cocked his gun.
"I said, who is your damn father?" Shadow repeated violently.
"Kn-Knuckles." Daylight stammered.
Rouge paused for a moment. "I only liked teasing him. He was never a choice." She finally spoke.
"Well guess what, ya did choose him." Jarret remarked snidely.
Rouge blinked. "Was there a shortage of men or something?" she asked.
"I always thought you'd go for that lynx guy," Shadow stated. "What was his name again, Thunder?"
"Lightning, and no. He's just a good friend and a good fling." Rouge answered.
"I like him. He seems more put together than half the heroes." Shadow answered.
"So how did you guys get here?" Shadow asked towards the two younger bats.
"We fell in front of your yard and decided to break in." Daylight answered.
Shadow stared at them. "You broke into a random persons home not knowing who's yard it was?"
"Correct?" Daylight responded.
"How are we gonna fix this, Shadow?" Rouge wondered.
All Shadow replied was, "It's time we find Silver."
Meanwhile at the Chaotix...
"You're what!" boomed not Vector's voice, but Espio's. Surprisingly, he had a loud voice for such a soft-spoken person.
"We're your bastards. Chi-yah!" Gavin the Chameleon explained.
"Chi-yah," Charmy mumbled. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Uh, how does this happen?" Vector asked, wide-eyed, staring at his son's yellow eyes.
"I..uh..." stuttered the young crocodile.
"Shut the fuck up you damn worthless shitfuck!" the orange rabbit, daughter of Cream the Rabbit, known as Butter stated.
Vector gasped as Argyle cringed. Espio and Charmy's eyes widened. Silence was throughout the place.
"Okay..." said Charmy at last.
"Okay Espio, I have an important question." Vector stated.
"What?" asked Espio.
"Why is Gavin 26? When did you have him?" said the crocodile.
"Vector, at the age of 16, when did I ever have a 26 year old?" Espio asked with a facepalm.
"We hate those Destructix bitches." Belinda popped her gum as she spoke.
Espio rubbed his hands together with a grin and smiled, "I'm already liking them already. Be sure to always remember that Lightning is the biggest bitch who ever bitchin' bitched bitched this Mobius."
"Uh...what?" Butter asked with a raised eyebrow.
"That was as random as your comment, dad. Chi-yah." Gavin spoke.
"Uh, isn't this a Silver thing?" Charmy asked.
And the record ripped again.
"To the time-traveling idiot's place!" Vector shouted as he grabbed Charmy and Espio and ran out the door.
"They do realize we're evil, right?" Belinda asked.
"As much as they realize the Destructix are good." Butter replied.
"I bet they'll be in for a surprise when the Destructix's parents come after their asses looking for answers, chi-yah!" Gavin retorted.
At Nic's House…
"So this is my daughter, and those tow are your and Bean's sons?" Nic asked. She looked confused.
"Yes." Nack answered.
Nic glanced over Bark's body and looked disgusted. "Ew." she spoke. Bark frowned.
"Nico, Skylar, who are your mothers?" Bean inquired. The duck looked dead serious. Gone was his goofy laugh and wackiness. Nic had never seen him look this serious before.
"Well, my mom is a weasel named Daria," Skylar started. "And Nico's mom is Wave the Swallow."
Bean's eyes widened. "I don't want her," he yelped. "She's not my type. I want Blaze. Or maybe even Fiona."
"I don't think they want you either." Skylar snarked. Immediately, Bean raised his fist to punch the younger weasel before he was stopped by Bark.
"Aren't you dating Blaze?" Nic asked. "No," Bean answered. "She broke up with me to go be with Silver."
"Wooooow," Nikayla started. "You really are a true loser. Can't keep a stupid cat around." Bean didn't even bother to respond. Bark glared at his daughter.
Nic awkwardly coughed. "Anyways, how do you suppose we solve this issue?" Nack asked. "No clue." "Damn it all!"
Onto a race in the middle of the woods...
A green hawk and a blue hedgehog stood at the ready. Their feet aching to outdo each other.
The other four- an echidna, fox, swallow, and albatross- sat exasperated in the background. Afterall, Jet and Sonic had been at this repeatedly for 3 hours!
Jet and Sonic feed each other's obsessions. Jet feeds Sonic's need for speed, and Sonic fuels Jet's incessant need for competition.
And to be quite literal, Jet views everything as a competition, even breathing!
And that's not counting the competition were Jet and Sonic stuck their hands on a burning, gas stove eye and declared the first one to remove their hand a pussy.
After yet another race, Sonic and Jet readied themselves for more. That was until Wave, in her native tongue, scolded Jet and went into another one of her rants, much to Jet's chagrin, and Storm's huffing.
Knuckles, on the other hand, repeatedly asked Sonic, with Sonic's responses:
"Do you know what they're saying?"
"No."
"Do you know what they're saying now?"
"No."
"Why the hell can't I comprehend them?"
"No."
"Sonic-"
"No."
"Son-"
"No."
"S-"
"Gee Knuckles, if you're so worried, why don't you ask them yourself?"
Knuckles could never understand the concept of other languages being spoken, or even existing.
Sonic could remember when Knuckles first met Antoine. Upon hearing the coyote speak his native tongue, Knuckles's eyes grew wide and he looked upon Antoine as if he had just fallen from the sky.
Slowly, Knuckles strode up to the coyote and slowly spoke, "Doooooo yoooouuuuu speeeaaaaak Eeeeeeennnnnnngliiiiishhhhhhhhh?"At the time, Antoine had no real concept of English, and never really would ever have, but amazingly Japanese was his strong suite thanks to Monkey Khan, turned to Knuckles and said, in broken English, "Go away!"
And explaining anything to him that didn't require it being spelled out for him was way too much for his tiny brain cells to take in before they exploded.
And then they saw a portal appear overhead. It was big, purple, pretty, and spun like a scratch CD from the 90s and shot out streams of white lightning.
And from that portal, came out a brown chipmunk with green eyes, wearing a tiara, a denim skort, and a pink tube top with a daisy in the center, and a dark green hawk with an evergreen marking across his eyes, sandals, and a short-sleeved jacket on. His eyes were hot pink.
"Woah, where are we?" the hawk asked, looking around. "I don't know?" the chipmunk asked.
"Do you know who they are?" Knuckles asked.
Sonic glared at Knuckles and then snarked, "Yeah, I know the two strangers who just popped out of the portal."
"I knew it!" Knuckles shouted.
When the chipmunk and hawk looked at Sonic and Jet, they shot forward and melted their arms around their parents.
"Daddy!" the chipmunk squealed as Sonic's eyes were wide open and looked as if he'd had a shot of espresso every two minutes.
"Woah, who are you?" Jet demanded, pushing the young hawk off of him.
"I'm Scar Jason, your son." the hawkboy replied.
"But I'm a virgin." Jet mumbled.
"And my name is Treenuts!" the chipmunk yipped.
"Treenuts? Who the hell gave you that name?" Sonic asked.
"According to mom, you did." Treenuts answered.
"Why didn't your mom stop me?" Sonic gasped.
"Because you said that you wanted to have a Daddy's Little Girl for a daughter and went all the way and named me after something chipmunks would eat." Treenuts explained.
"Well now you get to spend eternity mocked for having nuts in your name!" Sonic whined.
"Surprisingly, no." Treenuts waved away nonchalantly.
"We're best friends." Scar glittered with glee.
"B-best friends." Jet gulped, turning pale.
"No way!" Knuckles gasped.
"Well fuck!" Wave said, slapping her hands to her thighs. At the moment, it was hard to tell if she was mocking Jet, shocked, or angry.
"If this is a joke, there will be hell to pay!" Jet snapped after he recovered from the shock
"I think they are your children!" Storm gasped.
"Nah," Wave said, striking Storm with her elbow. "I thought they were Sonic and Jet's long lost cousins."
"Stupid bitch." Storm mumbled.
"What are they doing here?" Tails asked.
"We found a portal and decided to go through it." Scar stated.
And that was the story of how Sonic met Nack, doing the same exact thing. To get to Blaze's dimension though, you had to be struck by lightning from a freak storm and almost drown, or fall through on of the holes that just appear whenever it felt like it.
Speaking of the devil, Sonic could hear Nack's voice already, shouting angrily. Everyone turned around to see said purple weasel, his sister, the rest of Team Hooligan, plus their children being hauled to where Sonic stood now.
Skylar was screaming in Russian as his father dragged him by the ears, cursing the whole way.
"Skylar!" Treenuts shouted.
"Son of a bitch!" cursed Scar under his breath.
"Well look who it is!" Sonic said, giving his trademark smirk and sliding his hands on his hips.
"Don't you dare get started you Blue Bastard from Hell!" roared Nack as he pulled Skylar by the ears up the hill.
"Why did we come here in the first place?" Nic asked.
"Shut up you twat!" Nack bellowed at his sister, steam almost literally bellowing from every hole in his body.
Nic said nothing, but you could tell she was not happy.
When the purple weasel finally got up the hill, his veins were visibly bulging as he threw Skylar to the ground. Nico and Nikayla rushed to the young weasel's aide.
He let out a wild scream, grabbing Sonic by his shoulders and shaking him violently before tossing him to the ground too.
"Damn, temper much?" Sonic mumbled to himself.
Everybody else rushed to Sonic's side, Treenuts squeaking out, "Daddy!"
Scar stared at Nack in disbelief.
"Wait, who are they?" Bark signed to Bean, pointing at Treenuts and Scar.
"If I am correct," answered the duck quietly. "That's Sonic and Jet's children."
Bark held a look of disbelief, and Bean knew exactly what he was thinking.
"Yeah, I can't believe it either."
To Bean, it was as scary as Bark seeing the first snows fall in winter. He could not remember how many countless doors, walls, and windows he had to replace because of the giddy polar bear was excited to see what he loved.
Often, the polar bear would violently shake him awake and smack him against the windows of his room to let him see. By spring, poor Bark was a depressed mess.
Everybody on Sonic's side poised themself for a fight against Team Hooligan and Nic.
"Don't shoot," Bean said, standing in front of the throng with his hands up. Bark was right beside him, imitating his hand motions. "We're not here for a fight."
"Then why are you here?" Knuckles demanded violently.
"We were hoping you could help us figure out why the hell our children are here?" the duck replied.
"In case you haven't noticed," Wave retorted. "We're trying to figure out the same exact thing."
"My iz budushchego," Skylar spoke in his native tongue. "My ne znayem pochemu my zdes'."
"Woah Nack, when did you start speaking Russian?" Sonic asked, a little snideness to his tone.
Nack gritted his teeth and snarled, "Yeah Sonic, when did I?"
Sonic flustered with embarassment.
"If Flying was here, he could translate this." Bean stated.
"No," Nic replied. "He'd kill us all. He's Ukranian and hates being mistaken for a Russian."
"Their languages are nigh identical," Wave added. "And I can speak fluent Russian."
"You can?" Nic and Bean's eyes widened.
"I took a cue from a certain little duck and started learning as many as I could. So far I'm up to five." Wave said, smiling at Bean.
Bean moved behind Bark to avoid her eyes.
"I thought you said he wasn't your type." Storm chided.
"He's not." Wave replied blandly. "Sure." was all Storm replied.
To be honest, he was jealous. Wave could have had a strong man like him, instead she chose a scrawny chump who controls bombs.
A Few Minutes Later…
Sonic and Nack were getting into an argument as Nico poked Knuckles to the point the echidna had him in a headlock, Storm was very confused as walked down the hill for some space and fresh air, Wave and Bean had an awkward talk with each other, and Nikayla bothered Bark and Nic, and the both of them just sighed and stood there, not knowing what to do.
"I shoulda nown that a thirty-something year old bastard like you'd have a son and leave your whore." Sonic beratted.
"Sonic, I'm 19." Nack said angrily.
"Woah," Sonic said, his eyes going wide. "You're only 3 years older than I am! When were you ever that young?"
Nack sighed and scowled, "If I pop a blood vessel, it will be the end of everyone here."
Meanwhile with Coconuts, Scratch, and Grounder...
About seventeen monkeys, ages baby-twelve years old, came bounding out of a portal, alongside a couple of young chickens inside the Bottom of the Barrel Bar n' Grill, as Coconuts, Scratch, and Grounder stood to a halt.
"Who are they?" Grounder asked.
The answer:
"Daddy!"
"Oh Goddess," Coconuts complained. "I hate children."
Meanwhile with the Destructix...
"Mom, did you know I was yours?" Jessica asked. Fiona stopped what she was doing and looked at her potential daughter like she was the idiot she was.
"Just as much as you know you're a fox." Fiona replied snidely.
Jessica stopped and stared on with lost eyes. It was too complicated for her to decide if she would rather be red or a fox. So she asked, "Wait, I thought I was red."
Fiona facepalmed while Scourge groaned. "Is she always like this?" Predator murmured to Valiance.
"I can confirm this." replied the canary before he walked to the next room.
"You are a red fox." Fiona iterated with a groan.
"Oh, okay." Jessica replied blandly. Then she murmured, "I still don't get it."
Meanwhile outside...
"Okay son, show your sexy daddy what he teaches you later in life!" Lightning yowled proudly, handing Lake a shuriken.
Lake held the shuriken in his hands, rubbing it intensely with his fingers for the longest time ever as his father grew impatient.
"Okay Lake," Lightning sighed excitedly, rubbing his fingers together. "Any time now."
Lake dropped the weapon and looked at his father like a deer in the headlights. Lightning's smile started to die, but yet he tried to be encouraging, after all, his prodigee could help him put both Conquering Storm and Espio in an early grave.
Lake dropped the shuriken again, as Tamara, Flying, Cinnamon, and Nectarine lined up to watch, and started doing the butchered version of karate.
Lake kept kicking into the air, falling flat on his face and punching like a maniac shouting, "And this is called, Jumping Lake Twist! And this is Lake is Awesome Punch. And this is-"
"Stop it son, you're embarrassing yourself." Lightning stated, interrupting Lake's tirade.
Flying didn't know who was redder-Lightning or his son.
"Do you know anything else besides how to embarrass your father?" Lightning asked with flush cheeks.
"I know this." Lake announced, using his geokinesis to flick a pebble at his father's nose, and hitting it. Silenced awe from Flying and Lightning as the girls cheered on the younger ninja.
"My son's a geokinetic," Lightning suddenly jumped up with glee before the realization dawned on him. "Oh Goddess, I'm going to kill him!"
"No you won't," Cinnamon says. "I know you won't."
"But how could you know, you're blind?" Lightning retorts.
"I live with him." the young frog replied.
"You stupid bitch," Lightning yelled, turning on Flying and getting up in his face. "You allowed this?"
"I don't know?" Flying yelled back.
"Stop lying you retarded fuck!" Lightning yowled.
"I'm mentally disturbed!" Flying shouted as he tackled Lightning to the ground.
Meanwhile back inside...
"Are you thinking about killing Nectarine?" Valiance asked, startling Simian, who was just staring outside the window and wondering, "Why him" as he watched the scuffle between Flying and Lightning.
"N-no?" Simian stuttered, caught off guard.
"You stuttered." Valiance stated, getting closer to the gorilla.
"Well, you're pissing me off." Simian grunted.
"That must mean that you're planning to kill Nectarine." Valiance retorted, marching closer to the gorilla.
"No you dumb fu-"
"Valiance, stop bothering him." Nikai commanded, walking into the room clutching one of Simian's prized weights.
"Yes, my prince." Nikai bowed.
"Now come help me with his weight." Nikai commanded again, once again eliciting another bow from Valiance.
"That's my weight!" Simian cried out.
"Ours now." Nikai sang as he and Valiance walked out the front door.
Simian could only stand there in disbelief. First it was meeting his little girl, which shocked him because he loathed the idea of marriage and children and preferred his freedom, then he had to babysit everybody until they all got to the house in one piece, next he went to fix dinner and 75% of the team (including his daughter's) followed him into the kitchen when he said that he'd just get a drink of whiskey while they waited on the pizza he ordered and started cooking for no reason whatsoever, and when he sent the kid outside, his other two members were fighting like dogs outside. What else could go wrong?
What was wrong with today? No, what was wrong with life in general?
Then here came Predator, cussing up a storm and stomping throughout the house. You could hear everything he said, word for word, as he walked about the house.
He swore, if Predator started his shit today, there would be one less member of the Destructix. He was always in fights with the blue hawk because the arrogant bastard thought he was hot shit and could do whatever the hell he wanted and when, and if you dared to protest, he ran his mouth like a bitch.
Simian was no tyrant to his teammates, but he dared them to disrespect him. He was 22 and in no mood for an attitude problem today, which sadly, he was getting himself.
He didn't move from his chair. He was afraid that if he did, he strangle everyone in the whole house. Especially Predator.
Sadly, the blue hawk marched into the room Simian was residing in, his face full of anger, his loud mouth running as he walked towards the gorilla.
"Why the hell aren't you stopping the fight outside?" the bird of prey roared.
"I-"
Knock! Knock! Knock!
Simian knew it was the pizza man, and knew his life was over. He only watched as Predator threw open the door, talons ready to strike, and sliced the pizzaman's throat into a hideous gash that left his thorax hanging by a sinew.
Great! Now the pizza was soaked in blood, and there was a body in the doorway in full view of everyone. And guess what, the pizzaman just had to be an elephant.
"You're cleaning this up and paying for more pizza." Simian scowled as he left the room.
"You can't just leave!" Predator whined.
"Oh yeah," the ape returned. "Watch me."
The gorilla wondered if there was some way he could make this all go away that didn't involve metaphorically killing everyone he knew.
Now with Shadow and Rouge...
"Reeji!" Rouge yelled at the top of her lungs.
Her crazy-assed cousin had escaped again and was now on the prowl for Sonic. She sincerily hoped that Reeji hadn't ran into Amy, because either the pink brat or her annoying cousin would start a fight, then they'd turn on her, Omega and Shadow would step in to save her ass because there was always some goody-two-shoes in the vicinity that would attack her on sight because she dared lift a finger against the magnificent Amy, and since nobody came alone to these fights, she would find herself in the midst of what seemed like an all-out war before somebody retreated with their tails tucked between their legs.
Or if Sonic was around (which he was usually long gone by then), the he would try to make sense out of the ordeal by threatening her to keep her loon on a leash or else he was going to do something very regrettable (he wouldn't do the same to Amy because regardless of how many restraining orders he had against her, she still clung to him like a shadow), then Shadow would step in, both hedgehogs would fight until bloodshed or it being broken up, and then she'd still go home feeling worser than before.
Either way, she was standing inbetween a losing battle. She soon regretted not tagging Knuckles, Shadow, or Sonic with a GPS when she had the chance.
Her children were a great help, with Jarret complaining the whole time and Daylight having had her wing injured before she came to this timeline. This meant that Rouge was going the speed of a very expensive, very fast car her mob money got her.
Daddy was always the kindest. Momma could only tell her, "One day you'll get lost in space without a change of clothes." Both were worried that her daughter was going to die thanks to the heists and missions their only heir was pulling off.
She couldn't risk losing her children, and Shadow stayed with her, because they both knew that Jarret and Daylight could get into a lot of trouble, and when they find Reeji, Silver's ass would be ablaze.
In the middle of the city...
"Stop singing!" Blaze yelled after hearing the millionth narrated verse by her children and Silver.
"What? Why?" Silver asked as he stared at Blaze, taking a few steps back. His daughters followed his lead.
Blaze stepped closer and yelled, "Because it's a fucking annoyance! Damn! Can't you sing something else other than what you are currently doing and your thoughts? Ya know what, damn you! Damn you all!"
She marched deeper into the city, Silver following her.
"Blaze," he called. "Blaze wait!"
Blaze's response: Throwing massive fireballs and epic runes of flame at the hedgehog, who dodged the fireballs, but not the fire runes.
Silver used his telekinesis and lifted them both high into the sky. The children followed suite with Blueberries using her telekinesis to lift her and her sister up into the sky.
"Leave me be!" Blaze demanded.
"But Blaze, I-"
"There you are!" a gruff voice strangled out angrily.
Silver turned to see who it was, and lo and behold, there was Nack with another weasel and a hawk in a chokehold.
Behind him was Sonic, Nic, the Babylon Rougues, the rest of Team Hooligan, and Tails and Knuckles.
"You!" shouted another voice-Shadow's.
"Hey!" shouted an even louder voice-Simian's.
Before he knew it, he was surrounded by an angry mob of Sonic characters. And they all wanted him down from the sky, so he was being shot at, cars thrown at him, and everything, including Bean's bombs, that never missed him as he fell from the sky, Blaze screaming, "I HATE YOU!" all the way down.
Silver knew why they were there, and realizing how much he was done for, used chaos control and righted himself away from the crowd before explaining the situation and how they needed the emeralds. They used the emeralds. The world was right again.
End of Chapter 21