Where I Belong
Author: Nightstar Fury
Rating: M
Pairing: Hiccup/Astrid
Disclaimer: I don't own the HTTYD movies, or any of the HTTYD series such as Riders of Berk, Defenders of Berk, or Race To The Edge.
I'm Done With You
Almost everyone on Berk knew that Einarr's mother had pretty much abandoned him and he left for that reason alone, and to find out who he was since his mother wouldn't tell him anything about his life. But yet, a year after he left she was here hovering over Berk on her four winged dragon and Einarr looked less that pleased to see her there. Toothless growled lowly but Hiccup put his hand on his head to calm him down. "That's your mother?" Astrid asked as Hiccup only nodded. This woman was wearing blue and red armor, a spiked mask with black eye holes that couldn't be seen into.
"Don't you get smart with me. Get on your dragon and let's go. You've caused enough trouble already." The woman stated through the mask.
"How about no. I'm staying right here." Hiccup retorted, arms still cross over his chest angrily.
"I won't be hearing it. This is an order." The woman stated.
"Too bad. I'm 18, you can't tell me what to do anymore." Hiccup growled almost.
"So this is where you've been for a year, living among dragon killers...I knew you didn't care." The woman now scoffed. "Fine have it your way but don't come crying to me when they kill your dragon." She prepared to fly off but Hiccup wasn't having it, he jumped on Toothless's back and shot up into the sky after her.
"Toothless, plasma blast!" Hiccup ordered, his dragon fired right past the dragon and took his mother by surprise, she dodged to avoid it but lost her balance and fell off. Hiccup dove under and caught her, well Toothless caught her arm and set her down on the ground. The dragon roared with worry but Hiccup activated Inferno's flame blade and waved it in front of Cloud Jumper as the dragon relaxed and laid down behind him aside Toothless after Hiccup got off.
"Attacking your mother...How traitorous." The woman said, Hiccup rolled his eyes as he approached her slowly.
"I didn't attack you. I knew you'd dodge it...You aren't leaving just yet because I am far from done with you with what I have to say." Hiccup stated.
"I have nothing to say to you." The woman got to her feet.
"Well I have plenty to say to you, mother so just stand there and listen to me...Just ONCE, listen to me!" Hiccup ordered her.
"Well make it quick. I see where your loyalties lie so I won't bother rescuing you, I'll just go back to rescuing dragons who need my help." The woman scoffed.
"Of course, my apologies. How could I possibly forget that I don't matter to you, only the dragons do." Hiccup retorted coldly. By this point the entire village was quiet listening in, watching closely.
"That isn't true." His mother stated.
"Then why don't you tell me what the truth is because I must be missing it but as far as I understand...You don't care about me, you haven't since I was five, and all you want to do is rescue dragons from hardened Vikings who only kill dragons and won't listen to reason. That about right?" Hiccup asked.
"No it's not. I care about you, I came looking for you didn't I?" She said.
"AND IT TOOK YOU A GODS DAMN YEAR!" Hiccup yelled angrily. His mother stepped back, so did a few others. Astrid had never seen him so angry before, not even when Snotlout tested him. "I left when I was 17, a week after my birthday. Now I'm 18 because my birthday was last week! How in the name of Thor did it take you a year to find me!? Berk is literally six days North-West from the nest!"
"How was I supposed to know where you went, Hiccup! You only left a note saying you were leaving to find out who you were since I never told you." She remarked. A few people gasped at the name she used. Hiccup? Wasn't his name Einarr. Hiccup faced Astrid now as she looked just as shocked.
"In my defense, I never knew if Hiccup was my real name...All my mother has ever done is lie to me, and keep secrets so I found it hard to believe anything she said at all..." Hiccup explained to his girlfriend.
"I knew Einarr couldn't be your real name...But that's...not what shocked me. It's that...well...The chief's former son's name was Hiccup..." Now it was Hiccup's turn to freeze as he looked to Stoick who nodded to him, his eyes darted left and right as he suddenly thought back to the story Stoick told him about how he lost his wife and son to dragon who broke into the house and took his wife and son in her arms. And he never saw them again, assuming they were dead. Hiccup pulled the necklace out from under his shirt and stared at the mangled crest, he hadn't seen it before but now he could. Parts of it resembling the crest of the Hairy Hooligan tribe crest.
"She's right lad. Hiccup was the son of Stoick Haddock and Valka Holgerson. Her pre-married name of course." Gobber said to confirm now. Hiccup flipped the necklace and saw the initials again, SH & VH. Stoick Haddock & Valka Holgerson. Hiccup slowly turned and faced Stoick now.
"Y-You said you...lost your wife...and son to a dragon. And...my mother told me we were taken away by a dragon from our old tribe and my...father..." Hiccup said now, Stoick nodded as he put his hands on Hiccup's shoulders and tears rested in his eyes.
"That dragon right there...That's the one that took your mother and you from me 17 years ago. You're...my son, Hiccup. I'm your father." Stoick said. Hiccup couldn't believe it, he'd been...home all along. These kind people took him in a year ago and he was home the entire time. Stoick was his father and an amazing man! His mother lied about everything. His mother and him were taken by Cloud Jumper from Berk, and Stoick. Hiccup stumbled a bit, this man was his father. He'd been with his father and tribe for a year. Hiccup's eyes met his father's as he felt tears forming in his own green eyes. Stoick was his father. This was his dad..."You're home, Hiccup...You're home son." Stoick said. Hiccup didn't know what to say or do, he couldn't believe it but all the proof was there. "My boy...My son, Hiccup..." Stoick almost cried as he hugged Hiccup tightly, unable to do anything else, Hiccup hugged him back. This was his father, the man he'd been seeing as his father for a year now was his actual father. The two broke the hug as Hiccup turned and faced his mother now, and there was nothing but hate in his eyes.
"So all this time, this has been my home. These people have been my tribe...And you kept me from my own father! Why! Why would you keep me away?! Why did you stay away!" Hiccup yelled at her.
"You don't understand, Hiccup..." Valka stated now.
"Oh I understand perfectly. After you realized dragons weren't dangerous you became a damn coward who refused to show anyone the truth about them!" Hiccup growled almost, "Well you're home now, mother...Go on. Take off your mask and show everyone that you're alive. Show you're husband that you aren't fucking dead!" Hiccup ordered her, slowly Valka took off her mask now and dropped it to the ground.
"Val..." Stoick breathed out.
"I know...what you're going to say, Stoick...How could I of done this. Stayed away all these years, kept Hiccup away and why didn't I come back to you or the village...Well. What sign did I have that you could change, that anyone on Berk could. I pleaded so many times to stop the fighting but did any of you listen? I know that I left you alone, that I kept our son away from you...I was wrong to do that...But I just didn't want the dragons to be hurt..." Valka whimpered.
"You think they needed to change?! No, mom. NO! It's you who needed to change! Let me tell you something about how I found this place. I crashed here during a storm...Toothless wrapped me in his wings and instead of killing him, they understood he was protecting me and earned his trust that they wouldn't hurt him or me. And ever since, I've been allowed to live here. Just two months after being here because Toothless's tail was broke...Stoick made me part of the tribe! A tribe I was already a part of if it hadn't been for you and your selfishness. These people let me show them the truth about dragons, let me show them the peace that is possible and guess what now they all ride them just like me. How's that for change, I got the entire village to see the truth because I actually gave it a try!" Hiccup glared.
"Hiccup, things weren't so easy 17 years ago!" Valka said.
"Yes, before you were taken I get that they didn't see it. But what proof did you have then? After Cloud Jumper took you, and you learned the truth. Did you ever try to come back to show them?" Hiccup asked, Valka looked away now and down. "DID YOU EVER TRY, MOTHER?" Hiccup yelled this time.
"No...No I didn't, Hiccup. I just...never returned and made it my mission to save dragons from all Vikings..." Valka replied.
"Well one day here and I tried and this is the outcome. This is what I did when I left the nest. Am I enough for you now? Or do I still not care about the dragons enough? Did I finally do good enough for you to be proud of me mom?" Hiccup asked.
"Ye-Yes Hiccup, you did...great...I always knew you'd make me proud one day, I knew I raised you right." Valka said.
"Raised...me right? Raised me!? You didn't raise me! The dragons did! The dragons you cared more about than your own son did a better job of raising me than you ever did." Hiccup growled angrily.
"I did raise you son..." Valka replied.
"Yeah, until I was what...five? Then you stopped caring. Everything you did was about dragons. Saving them, taking care of them, protecting them...Where was all that for me? Hm? Who taught me how to fly Toothless? Not you. You were too tired to teach me to fly when I was eight, remember. You had a long night saving dragons. What about the first rescue I ever helped you with when I was 11? I saved 20 dragons on my own and you said it wasn't enough! What about any of the times I was sick. 'Suck it up, Hiccup. You're fine'. How loving of you to say to me, your son. The night I left, you told me me to man up for a rescue. You told me you wouldn't take care of me because the dragons needed you more!" Hiccup yelled at her, she stepped back again with tears in her eyes.
"Hiccup...I-I know I was wrong..." Valka tried.
"WRONG!? YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT EVERYTHING INVOLVING MY LIFE! Everything you've ever told me is a bullshit lie! Vikings being bad, heartless, merciless killers of dragons. That my father was a cruel man who wouldn't listen to reason. That Vikings weren't capable of change. When I landed here, everything you ever said was a lie. And how dare you tell me that my past doesn't matter!" Hiccup raged to her. She winced back more.
"I never said that, Hiccup!" Valka protested. Hiccup took off the necklace and tossed it at her feet.
"That right there is why I left the nest. When I asked you about it all you told me was 'It was the gift your father gave me when we got engaged. Nothing that concerns you. It was part of the past and that is where it will stay'. Does it ring a bell now mom? No. How about when I asked you immediately after to tell me about my past? When I said: Come on, you never tell me anything. What is this thing, if its nothing then why do you still have it. We've been here as long as I can remember...I know I came from some where. Why won't you tell me anything about my past...Still nothing? Alright how about when you yelled at me saying 'Enough, Hiccup! Your past doesn't matter, this is your future. Rescuing dragons, that is it! Now throw that garbage away, I never want to see it again'." Hiccup repeated for her.
"HOW CAN YOU STAND THERE AND TELL YOU DIDN'T SAY THOSE THING TO ME!? How can you even be calm right now knowing you were a horrible mother to me for 13 years! But you know what...I just don't care anymore. Like you did to me, when you stopped caring about me...Or maybe you never cared. How the hell should I know with all the lies you tried to make me believe over the years. Now I don't care. I'm done with this, and I'm done with you." Hiccup said firmly.
"What...are you saying...I'm your mother, Hiccup..." Valka cried now.
"No. You are not. A mother, any parent at all protects their child. Soothes them when they are scared, holds them when they are lonely, comforts them when they are hurt. Encourages, teaches, cares, and LOVES. You did none of those things for me. You're just some woman who took me away from my real family. I may not of known who my father was until today...But Stoick has taken care of me like a father would care for their child since the day I landed here. He did more for me in a year than you did in 17 years. Don't get me wrong, I love dragons but saving them isn't the only thing I'm meant to do. This is what I'm meant to do. Spread the peace, show people the truth...You go ahead and keep living in fear, believing that no one can change. But the truth of the matter is that no one will ever change if you don't change too. And I'll do what I'm good at." Hiccup prepared to walk away from her. "But I am done with you." He added closing his eyes.
"Hiccup please...Forgive me for everything...I'm sorry." Valka had tears falling from her eyes.
"Leave." He said firmly, everyone gasped. "Go on, leave. Go ahead and leave Berk again, go rescue your dragons, mother. You told me that everyone is cold, cruel, and uncaring but that's just you. Not everyone else. You say that Vikings are the ones who won't change, who would never accept dragons...Well when I crashed here a year ago...They gave me a chance. They trusted me, and trusted the dragons when I showed them the truth and now they love them as much as I do. All my life you told me that the village we came from was filled with nothing but a bunch of dragon killers who would never see reason. 17 years...I believed your lies, mother and now I know the truth. You don't love me, you don't love my father, and you don't love people...All you care about are the dragons. So leave...Get back on your dragon-who you loved more than me, and just go. I've had enough lies. Just leave. Just like you never wanted to see that necklace again, I never want to see you again because I'm pretty sure I might just end my own life to escape your meaningless, unchangeable BULLSHIT! You're my past, and this...is my future and it looks a whole lot better that what you tried to plan."
"Hiccup..." Astrid whispered out, Astrid couldn't believe what she heard him say, even Stoick was shocked. Hiccup out right said he'd kill himself if he saw his own mother again, Hiccup mounted Toothless now.
"If you are here when I get back...You can consider me your enemy and I will see you as an enemy to Berk. And I will defend those who have actually been here for me." Hiccup warned coldly.
"Hiccup...please..." Valka tries.
"Fuck you. I'm done." Toothless didn't need to be told to leave, he leaped into the air beating his wings and darted off.