90

It was neither asked for or welcome but there ya go. In the middle of walking sedately across the floor it happened and Ianto had no time to register it's impending arrival let alone disguise it, the fart loud and bugleish.

Ianto froze.

He turned slowly to take in the room as everyone continued their conversations like nothing had happened and he started to relax. The shock and horror of it residing, leaving just the embarrassment that was lessened with the knowledge that he had survived the bomb drop.

Of course... this is when Mumble shot across the floor crouched over, holding his own arse making little fart noises.

Harry was the first to snigger, and then hide his face.

"OK. So…I just farted. I am sorry. Excuse me" Ianto said calmly "That was… a surprise to me too."

"Preggers. Can't help it when you are so full of baby. When I was one time I had the farts so bad I wore loose britches" Jack told Rhys who looked absolutely scandalised and Ianto wondered if it was about the farting or the 'preggers' bit of it. Of course Jack had to add "And the occasional shart."

"Shart?" Owen squeaked.

"A shitty fart"

"What the fuck are britches?" Rhys said and Ianto felt relief. Of course. Rhys was focused on something that could be explained calmly. Well…unless you are Jack. Everyone started asking him about his clothing.

By the time Jack returned from the bedroom in some proper britches from a hundred or so years back he got from fuck knows where there was new chaos as Bracken held Mumble by his little ear scolding him for scaring the baby.

"I didn't mean it aunty" came the sad reply "I forgotted she was there."

"Well… no one should forget MY child!" came the haughty reply and Splat shot over to scold his wife gently for forgetting here she was, being so rude in the presence of Himself. Ianto was quietly amused by this as Bracken seemed to forget she was ever afraid of humans.

Ianto reached his chair and huffed as he flopped into it, the seat seeming to adjust for his larger butt. OK… maybe a larger girth due to a large baby inside but he can't help but think his bum was HUGE! At least the chair didn't make another fart noise. Oh god. Why to juvenile idiots think it is so feckin funny?

"Master… hungry?" a plate was thrust at him and he tried to remember the name of the house elf but for the life of him… he just blinked. Blank. Completely blank. There seems to be more every day.

"Thank you sweetie" he finally said, accepting the plate and chewing thoughtfully as he thought things over. He was due soon. Time had seemed to fly and soon there would be another little life in this house… this house was too bloody small.

"What are you thinking Taddy?" Harry asked, leaning on the arm of the chair.

"That I need to enchant some more rooms for this place. For one… I need a quiet room for contemplation and for when the little one is fussy and wants quiet. This house is loud and full of energy. Sometimes it makes a baby cranky." He explained "So… maybe a play room for you and a quiet room for the little one? Maybe you and Mumble need to start looking at ideas for a special play room just for you… one that you can go to when you feel the need to blow off some of that amazing power and energy you can produce. Or when me and Daddy ask you to take a moment for us to have an adult grumble about something?"

Harry puffed out his chest "I am impressed. Yes, I do need my own explosion room."

"Expl… ah. Your powers are itching?" Ianto asked, of course they were. The boy lives with the Lord of Light, he is advanced. Ianto knew deep down Harry's powers were coming in earlier than with some other kids, he knew this was rare but not unheard of for a young child in the presence of powerful wizards to glean… of course.

Ianto made a mental note to talk to Dumbly…. Oh for fucksake. Now he was calling him that. Ianto knew he was tired, just got up and already he was tired again.

The baby was also drinking from him and this little shit had better be cute. Ianto was now a little amused at himself as he knew if it was anything like it's father who was currently rubbing noses with a Candy 'Corn he would be a gonners at first sight.

"Jack, I might need some help with my slippers" Ianto said as he rose and watched Jack light up as he rushed to help him over to the lovely day bed … OK… it was like a huge bean bag with attitude that Hagrid had turned up with, claiming it to be magical.

Ianto suspected it was just a bean bag as Hagrid had never seen one before but it was lovely to get into and relax. Getting to of it sometimes took a bit though.

God, this baby was gonna pop soon.