I think it's time to start sending thank you to the people without whom writing this fic wouldn't be so enjoyable and probaby wouldn't even happen up to this point.. Yeah, I'm talking about you V, you're my beloved cheerleader and I'm so glad to have you by my side.
I'd also like to thank people who are reading and leaving there any sign they do - it really makes me more confident I'm doing something right.
Okay, third chapter... Let's get it started.
She puts away her toothbrush in its place and rinses her mouth. Over running water she thinks she hears knocking, but when she stops it, the only sound she is met with is a working washer from the floor above, so she gets back to her activity. She finishes and dries her mouth with a towel and that's the moment insisting serie of knocks erupts again.
Katrina frowns to herself, because she's certainly not expecting anyone. Especially not tonight as her plans consisted of a shower, pajamas, a cup of green tea and further reading Copyright Law of United States. She developed that habit short after Brian's departure from her life, the method to fall asleep without thinking of him. She had to ditch crying at some point as it was flat out childish and not a solution to her problems. Truth be told, she felt ashamed for tearing up over someone she didn't even have a romantic relationship with, but she kept telling herself it's okay, because Brian was her friend and when a friend leaves you, you are allowed to shed a tear or two, right?
In her case it was rather an ocean, but she promised herself she will not get back there. She replaced an inefficient pattern with a didactive one and that's how she intends on keeping her life. In a constant state of progress.
Katrina rushes to the door, actually regretting she doesn't have a peephole to check out who her disturber is. She opens up the barrier and has to double blink, not believing her eyes. Her mouth widen slightly in a silent shock as she takes in Brian's presence.
His long body is leaning on her doorframe, his hands griping the edges just above his head, his hair sticking in different directions more than usual as if he had been scratching it too much. His clothes are somewhat wrinkled, his tie loosened and crooked. But she forgets about all of the above the second she fixes a stare on his face. It takes one look at him to say something went horribly wrong, his lips a grimace and his eyes… She has never seen a man so exhausted, lost and suffering as she does right now. Without an acknowledgement, her expression matches his and worry covers her features.
"Brian… What happened?" against all his predictions her voice is velvety and soft and he cannot be more grateful for that. "Austin? Or Julie?"
"Both," he says enigmatically and she inhales, probably guessing the worst. "But no, it's not what you think."
Confusion mixes with a concern as she tilts her head.
"Then what…" she starts, but her voice falters with a noticeable question mark on the end.
Instead of answering, he frees his hands from her doorframe, an assurance of its hard outline no longer needed and takes step inside, causing her to take a step back. The move refocuses her gaze from his face to the absence of the gold ring on his finger. She gets more unsettled by each second.
"You took off your wedding band," she states, her head rising back to his.
That simple motion directs his attention to the height difference between them, lack of her high heels creating fair eight inches of a contrast and it's the first time he realizes how short she is. How… small she is in comparison to his size. Her shoes and solid demeanor being a trick he fell for as everybody else.
"I'm not going to need it anymore," he admits, closing the door blindly behind himself. He watches her blue irises widening with disbelief, lips parting again and something stirs inside his gut.
"I don't… I don't understand," she stutters. She wants it or not, despite two months long break his glare still affects her. Shiver goes down her spine and in an attempt to hide her reaction, she crosses her hands on her chest. Honestly, it's all the encouragement his eyes begged for to lower his sight down her body and the conversation he prepared on his way here starts to dissolve from his mind.
He noted before her hair being casually swept into a messy bun on the top of her head, but only now he becomes aware of the creamy column of her neck. Every piece of jewelry she might have been wearing during the day is taken off, same goes with her usual clothes and what she has on instead… It's not a matching pair of silky set woman of her status might wear, it's Ravenclaw's large T-shirt and black shorts. The underwear showing, or rather showing off a pair of nicely shaped legs. It's the most he has ever seen of her and the position her arms have taken – drawing out the shape of her bosom – is not making it any easier to remember he came here looking for a friend.
Brian swallows and returns his view to her face.
"Long story short, I was at the appointment with Austin and got his blood tests results that say he's not my son," he makes a pause, meaning of these words filling him again and he needs to take a breath to carry on. "When I confronted Julie at home we got into huge fight. She admitted having an affair."
Katrina's palm rises to cover her mouth, her brows narrowing and she's dumbfounded. She can only imagine how ruined he must feel, her own ache forgotten the moment she saw him at her doorstep. After all, he didn't promise her anything he didn't keep, as hurtful as his disappearing was, he had every right to quit from the firm (and her in the process). But his wife vowed him loyalty and much more, breaking such pledge is unbelievable.
"She made me think I have a happy family," his palms curls into fists and his eyelids close for a moment. "That I have a family at all. She lied to me the whole time."
"I'm so sorry Brian…" she almost whispers and mentally grimaces on how pathetic those words sound like. No amount of her sadness is going to give him back what he has lost. "Maybe there's a chance–"
"She called it a fucking fling," his voice is harsh when he groans it out. "She was cheating on me for whole three months, sleeping with some bastard under my nose, in my own house…! When she got pregnant she knew Austin may not be my child but ignored it. Just like that! She was hoping the truth will never came out and if not for this goddamn results I may never know! I wonder if this jerk knows some idiot raises his child!"
By the time he finishes, his breathing is shallow and his anguish is evident in every line around his lips, cheeks, eyes. She feels the sudden urge to soften them with her fingers, caress them out with thumbs but touch is a gray area for them and she's not sure it would be wise to follow her desire. She tries to achieve same goal with words instead.
"Brian, you're not an idiot. You're the most caring and absorbed father, no matter if he's yours or not. And you couldn't have known she will betray you like that. You gave her your trust and trust is supposed to not be broken."
"That's it Katrina, I should have known! It was my fucking business to know…!" his fury crashes and he looks away. "She accused me it was my fault. That I have been working too long and she's barely seen me and she needed to find attention from someone else."
She spats. "What is that bullshit? That's not the reason to cheat!"
"I don't know." He sighs, his hand goes to massage the bridge of his nose before it falls limply at his side. "Maybe it is my fault too. Maybe I am a crappy husband and I deserved that," he bows his head, staring at their feet without recognition.
This time Katrina doesn't stop herself, she closes the gap between them to place her palm on his cheek, making him peer at her. "Listen to me, you did not deserved that Brian. No one deserves to be treated like that. Especially not you… you're wonderful person, okay?" she adds last four words with shyness, her usual voice softening and the corners of her mouth rise a bit to ease his trouble.
He watches her with that tired and mournful expression for a few heartbeats, then abruptly pulls her into a hug, his long arms circling her waist and his forehead rests in the crock of her neck. Even though it comes to her as a total surprise and she's not used to holding people close, she quickly catches up on and wraps her own arms around his neck. Saying she never thought about this… She did. Quite a lot actually.
As her body clings to his, she is surrounded by his smell and her head falls on his shoulder on its own volition, same goes with her eyes deciding to close and let her enjoy the embrace. She scolds herself internally, struggling to remember it's for his comfort, not her pleasure. However she tries to push away that nagging sensation, it comes back again reminding her the reality of his arms is much better than what her fantasies designed, not that she's willing to admit having any.
A while passes and his pulse is still heighten and he hears thudding in his ears that matches one in his chest, probably not solely effect of his painful emotions… Inhaling and exhaling her sweet fragrance simultaneously calms him down and wakes up deep buried yearning for more. He swallows that need, intent on keeping this intimate moment about solace he originally searched for, yet it doesn't stop itching in his hands. He didn't consider any of these reactions the moment he brought her flush with him and maybe he should now, before his control will slip off completely.
But when her fingers begin to dance in his hair, previous concerns momentarily vanish from his focus and he nuzzles into her skin in response. Finding her digits lazily threading through his short hair, gently scratching his skull is an astonishment for her too and she can't remember last time when she did the same with another human being. She guesses it had to be over a year ago, with the guy she dated at the time, but the memory is so distant, it's just a hunch. Present outscores whatever past holds and warmness spreads inside her. Acting on the care she had to suppress is an incredible relief.
What was singular motion starts to escalate and his nose draws barely palpable lines on the column on her neck, his breath leaving hot marks. Goosebumps erupt on her forearms and another shiver courses through her body, reflection of what happened between them in her office to evident to ignore. Katrina desperately doesn't want him to stop, although remains of her common sense object such an easy surrender.
"Brian, why are you here?" whisper escaping her like she has been afraid to speak up, the fear of destroying the moment too consuming.
"To talk to someone… To you."
"Why?"
"To make sense of what had happened."
"You didn't."
"I feel like I did," his voice is husky, such a contrast to the sensitive skin he feels underneath his lips and he wonders if it tastes so temptingly as it smells. Dizziness fill his mind and hands formerly glued on her back set on a journey to uncover lines of her body.
Breath hitches in her throat when she senses trial of wet kisses forming on her neck and she fights with an impulse to melt in his arms. "Brian, we shouldn't…"
"Why?"
Her first reaction is to mention his family, so far the only barrier really stopping them from giving up and it's gone, no longer an obstacle. They don't work together anymore, so she cannot hide behind no-affairs-rule either. She may lie she doesn't want it, but she doesn't want to lie and she definitely want it to happen. So what's holding her back from satisfying longing she couldn't fulfill in any other way?
"You're grieving… It's not–," she silences up moan growing inside with all her willpower, "it's not healthy. You're going to regret this."
That's it. The apprehension she feels has its core in dread he will resent himself tomorrow morning and her too for letting him capitulate. She's not ready to risk it, it's not gambling with a fifty-fifty bluff, it's so much more and she can't have that. Part of her already places him in her world again and scenarios where he is not present are submerged under the level of her consciousness.
He withdraws his mouth and shifts to look at her. His pupils are dilated and difficult to find in blackness of his irises, surprisingly calm expression on his features.
"Are you? Because I know I won't."
"How can you be so sure?" she doubts, anxiety she feels manifesting itself in her tone.
"Simple. I've never regretted anything about you, no matter how confused it left me."
She gulps on that confession, her cheeks covering with hue, but she's not done yet. Maybe she shouldn't overthink it as she does, though awareness she may be making fatal mistake right now holds her actions in a grip too tight to free herself. She lowers her gaze, shaking her head.
"Maye not yet, not now and not tomorrow, but soon enough you'll start to process all of that and you may come to a different conclusion. What will happen then? I don't want you to hate me, or worse – yourself."
"I basically run away from you, from the firm and you don't seem to hate me," he states and it doesn't make any sense to her.
"I don't…" her forehead creases, "but how's that connected? You didn't have any obligations toward me."
"I'm about to have now. I'm giving you my word, I won't regret whatever is going to happen now. Don't you worry about me," he kisses misery away from her forehead in light touches. To further confirm his statement, he brings her hand to his pulse point to show her how fast is his heartbeat. "I want this. So if you want this too… I guess we are on the same page."
Knot in her stomach unties itself slowly, being replaced by shy butterflies and she starts to submiss, especially when he is staring at her with that raw honesty. A stray thought crosses her mind saying she's going to hurt after that even more than after he left, but the promise of passion heating up her system shoves it into the darkest corner possible. As if he heard her musings, he caresses her nose with his in a Eskimo kiss, small smirk tugging on his lips.
"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Brian whispers, titling his head, almost touching her lips with his own. He gives her one last chance to back out, leaving that tiny leap to jump over before they will lose themselves in each other.
Her arms tighten on his neck, his wide shoulders preserving her shaky legs from falling as nervous tension is fleeing, spinning her world in the process. Determined though, Katrina stands on tiptoes and closes the gap between them. Everything that follows is blurred, physical sensations mix with emotions and she can't distinguish what's his doings and what's hers.
It starts slowly, two pairs of lips caress one another without the rush. His right hand cups the back of her head and tilts it carefully and the other finds its place on the small of her back, toying with the hem of her T-shirt. She keeps her position and balances herself with his help, yet he still has to bow his face to maintain connection. He cherish the difference between their heights and their bodies rock together, finding mutual rhythm, but everything changes when her lips part and his tongue sneaks inside.
Their lips come crashing this time, similarly impatient, nibbling, sucking. Out of blue, she playfully bites him to sooth the little wound the instance later, her hands firmly grasping the lapels of his jacket. He groans in response, experiencing the side of her he even didn't know existed – sexually teasing side – and loving every second of it, ready to find out more.
Brian pins Katrina against the wall, unequivocal answer to her provocation. His knee lands between her naked legs, widening them simultaneously as his palm lowers to gather handful of her ass. Her breasts brush against his chest and not only their torsos come into full contact.
It's obvious what makes her gasp, her hips rolling without her notice, primal part of her brain knowing exactly how to process with such course of action. As his lips leaves her, they descend to the initially occupied area, his intentions to elicit more breathless reactions. Hand spreads on his nape and she turns her head to the side. All the access she gives, all the control she loses… It doesn't matter when surrender is inevitable, his teeth mark the column of her neck and she moans, her body in a constant friction with his. If he thought he was able to stop any minute, his illusions are blown away right here and there as the noise she made goes straight to his groin. Currently pressing into her womanhood, by the way.
On pins and needles, her hands pushes back his jacket and with a bit of cooperation it lands on the floor. Next she reaches to undo his tie and tugs on it unsuccessfully, displeased grunt escaping her mouth and he laughs into her neck.
"Needing help up there?"
"No," she snorts, her focus fixed on the knot but fingers working clumsily.
He uses the opportunity to distract her, sucking in the place where neck meets the shoulder and both of his palms tickle backs of her thighs. She bites inside of her cheek, trying not to lose a concentration. Few more moves and she gets it done, throwing piece of material into unconcreted direction.
"You think you got this?"
"What?" he straightens, his hands carry up and rest on her hips.
"You think you are in charge?" she arches her brow at him.
His grin widen, flirtatious glint in his eyes.
"I guess it's that part when you tell me I'm not?"
"Because you're not," she states matter-of-factly.
"Tell me."
"I'd rather show you," she looks up and moistens her lips for a better outcome, coy smile on.
Brian bends forward and hums to her ear.
"Hit me with your best shot, honey."
She doesn't know the song, but the endearment on the end manages to make her shiver nonetheless, especially singed by that low voice of his. She takes his face in her hands and catches his lips in a searing kiss, one of her legs hooking around his. His arms close around her and new angle they bodies test is nothing but extraordinary.
Too much and not enough at the same time, Katrina brings her lips to his jaw in the same manner as he did. Her mouth enjoy light stubble scratching her cheek and she muses why she didn't notice it earlier, though doesn't risk thinking how would it feel in much, much lower places. She doesn't want to get her hopes up.
Brian's heart hammers in his chest and when she does that with his Adam's apple, his eyes roll backwards and grumbling accompanies. Next thing he knows, he is leaning on the wall this time and her digits busy themselves with buttons of his shirt, kisses follow the path and his mind is filled with music.
Something about you,
Bite on his collarbone.
It's like an addiction,
Tickling of her hair and its sweet smell.
Hit me with your best shot, honey.
She pushes the cloth off and her delicate hands roam up and down his shoulders, ribcage, abdomen.
I've got no reason to doubt you,
If she's going to go any lower, he swears…
Cause certain things hurt,
Her lips stop just above his belt buckle and she draws a line with her tongue.
And you're my only virtue,
Almost in kneeling position, she looks up.
And I'm virtually yours.
Breath catches in his throat and he helps her straighten with awe beaming from his eyes. Her eagerness is something he didn't expect and yet, it really completes the vision he has of her. When Katrina Bennett engages herself in something, she gives one hundred percent focus and devotion into it. That's one of her traits he truly adores – she achieves whatever goal she wants to achieve and does it without fuss or pride.
Brian's mind tries to find words fully expressing fascination her person rouses in him.
"I'm a dick I called you a robot."
Fuck, this is not what he wanted to say!
Mortified, his mouth open to correct the mistake, confident he screw this up and she will push him out of the door for his stupid comment. Yet, instead of doing that, she bursts out laughing, the sound she makes melodic. He recovers quickly, pretending he's done it on purpose and uses probably the most cliché joke he can come up with.
"Why are you laughing? My pants are still on."
Her nose scrunches adorable and little piggy squeal accompanies.
"Okay, oink oink, leave something for a bedroom," Brian shushes her, his lips stretched in a grin too, hands wandering under her T-shirts on the back. His gaze finds hers and they share a tender moment, simply watching each other as a giddy feeling softens their souls.
Her smile changes and becomes shy, he has seen her like that only once before – when he was messing with her about being her best friend – and he's truly honored this one belongs to him as well. For a second there he wonders if he deserves what she's offering, her expression speaking louder than words could, even though she's probably not aware how much affection she shows.
When he started working at Pearson Specter Litt, he – as all the associates – has seen Katrina as a heartless, career woman, tough lawyer who was mentored by Louis Litt and Robert Zane, both men having quick temper and demanding nature, so their protégé couldn't be much different. And for a while she was, until he gained her trust and discovered there's more than meets the eye. Warm, delicate, lovely awkward, passionate and caring person. Her sensitivity has been creating odd sensations in his body since what feels like always and currently it's tripling the haze in his mind, his attention solely on her.
Her voice brings him back into reality.
"I think it's time for your performance review," she tempts, taking his hands in hers and leading him deeper into the flat.
He chuckles. "I hope I'm not gonna hear I'm doing shitty job again."
"Changed measuring criteria, this time should be fair. I don't make same mistakes twice."
"Good. You're gonna like the results."
"Am I?" she arched her brows at him over the shoulder, passing the entrance to her bedroom.
"Let's find out." They stop near her bed, his lean form towering over her, palms instantly on her hips, tugging her T-shirt upward, but suddenly he halts.
"What's wrong?" Did he changed his mind?
"I see you enjoyed your meal," he flashes her a silly smirk, nodding toward her top.
Katrina looks down, noticing dark red stains on Hogwart's school logo she hasn't spotted earlier (but isn't actually surprised it exist) and snorts, rolling eyes.
"I may have happen to eat spaghetti in that shirt."
"And we both know how you eat," Brian pulls the garment off her head.
"Oh, shut up or you gonna get lower note," she teases, letting him unclasp her bra.
"Yes, ma'am."
To prevent himself from further talking, his lips find hers in a heated kiss, their bare skin touching. He steps out of his shoes and pushes her onto bed, following right after and their new, horizontal position is electrifying. On their own accord, his palms fill themselves with her breasts, eliciting a cry. It's like music to his ears and as soon as they come up for air, he travels down her body, set on the mission to smell and taste every part of her. Every part.