This was the fallout of his actions. The consequences of mercy and the reason why death must always stay neutral in matters of the human world. The restoration of balance and the tilting of the scales. If a life is spared, another life must be taken. Nothing can be saved without something of equal or more value being sacrificed.
What is the true price of a human soul?
Natsu willed himself to move forward, not drag this out longer then necessary. How could he possibly apologize to the soul he was about to take? The slow death she had endured for years without him even knowing.
She was standing so calmly, watching her daughter with such a gentle expression as she sobbed over her mothers death. He could feel himself shaking as he walked toward them, his feet not making a sound as they touched the marble floor below them.
His hands clenched at his sides, his chest feeling heavy with remorse and his head pounding. If he had a heart he was sure this would be a moment that would make it beat quickly. If he had a soul this would be a moment to tarnish it forever. If he were human, he might have cried in this moment.
Instead he just forced his feet forward as the lump in his throat grew. He wished he could choke on it.
My fault. This is all my fault. I am so sorry.
It felt like an eternity before he reached her, he cleared his throat to speak. Not noticing that Lucy seemed to hold her breath and stiffen when he done so.
"It's time to go now Layla. My name is Natsu and I am here to take you where you need to be." He spoke softly, reaching his hand out to touch her shoulder.
"I don't care who you are. You are not taking my mothers body anywhere."
If Natsu could see himself, he would realize that his face had turned white and his eyes had widened in shock as Lucy stood from where she was sitting and placed herself between him and her mother's body.
He cheeks were streaked with tears and her eyes were puffy and bloodshot but she wore a scowl and her expression was wild and angry.
Natsu was lost for words. Was this another punishment for him? Another consequence for returning a soul to a body? She could see him all this time?
"You have been watching me my whole life. Who are you? Some sort of pervert or something?" She shouted at him. Her mothers soul standing silently beside her.
Natsu cleared his throat again. He needed to get this done. He didn't know how much more he could take.
"I am Natsu, it is my job to guide souls to the afterlife." He spoke as softly as he could. He knew his voice was rough most of the time but he tried his best to make it soothing. Gentle.
"Well you're out of luck. My mother's soul isn't here anymore, just her body." As Lucy spoke she took her eyes off him and turned to look at the bed and her mothers still form laying in it.
Layla looked at him with a soft expression. "I've been trying to comfort her, but she doesn't even know I am here."
So, she could see him but couldn't see souls. That was interesting.
"You're mother's soul is here. You just can't see her. You were not even meant to see me and for that I am sorry." I am sorry for so much more than just that. "If you want to say goodbye or hear anything she needs to say to you before we go, please feel free. I will tell you whatever she says back."
He was expecting an argument, but received none. Instead Lucy collapsed at his feet on her knees, grabbed the leg of his pants and looked at him with begging, tear filled eyes.
"Please don't take her. Please give her back. She is all I have. I need her." The tears ran freely down her cheeks and hit the floor. All she has? Her mother is all she has?
Natsu stood silently for a moment, he contemplated breaking the rules again. Would it fix what he had broken if he did? He didn't care about the punishment, he deserved it as far as he was concerned... but... if he did what Lucy asked of him, balance would need to be restored some how- and the only way to do that would be if Lucy. No. He wouldn't break the rules again, he wouldn't risk it. Not a second time.
"I am sorry, I have no choice. It will be okay." He knelt down next to her and put his hand on her back. He didn't know why, it just felt like the right thing to do. She threw her arms around him and knocked him off balance, burying her face into his chest. He could feel her tears soaking through his shirt but he didn't move. He cautiously placed an arm around her and held her while she sobbed.
"Please take care of my mum. Please tell her I love her and I will miss her. Make sure she knows what she means to me please. Please make sure she knows." Lucy sobbed, her face and his chest both damp with tears. She felt so warm and soft against him. Just like her soul did when he first held it. He didn't know why he was able to touch her or why she could see and touch him. He didn't really care. It felt warm. It felt nice. Even if the moment was horrible, and she was crying into him. This was the first hug he had been given, was it really so wrong to want this moment committed to his memory forever?
"She can hear you. She is standing right next to us." Natsu whispered, looking at Layla to see if she wanted him to tell Lucy anything. Lucy let go of Natsu and looked around the room frantically before standing up and wiping her face on her sleeve.
"Tell her that I know she loves me, and that I love her too. Tell her she will never be alone and that I will be watching her from the sky always. Please tell her that." The soul whispered.
"Your mum said that she knows you love her. She loves you and she will be watching you from the sky. Always. You won't be alone." He looked at Lucy and she nodded.
"I'm going to miss her."
"I know. You will be okay. I really am sorry, truly." For more than you could possibly understand. For the fact that this is all my fault. I'm sorry I couldn't take your tears and pain away. I am so sorry Lucy.
"We need to go now, we have already been a lot longer than we were meant to." Natsu reached his hand out to Layla, who took it straight away a soft smile on her face as she took one last look at her daughter before the room around them vanished. Leaving a still crying Lucy, completely alone with her mothers body.
"Thankyou. For telling her what I said. I know you said she was not meant to be able to see you but I am glad she did, so I could tell her I loved her one last time." Layla walked beside him, her hand felt so small in his own.
"It was the least I could do. I am so sorry Layla I really am." He had to apologize for what he had done, even if she didn't forgive him. He just needed to say he was sorry.
"What are you sorry for? You didn't do anything wrong." She looked at him with a smile. She didn't understand. "I have a question for you actually. When Lucy was born, she was born dead. Everybody gave up on her and said there was nothing they could do. It was so sudden when she came back, she just started crying in my arms. Everyone called it a miracle and nobody could explain it. Do you know what could have happened?"
Natsu stopped walking and looked at her. Should he tell her the full truth of his actions? She had the right to know, but did he have the courage to tell her?
"You asked for my help." He replied in a horse voice, like the words didn't want to come out.
"What do you mean?" Layla looked confused, standing next to him. Neither taking another step forward.
"When I was holding her soul, you were clutching her body and crying. I was about to walk away but then you looked right at me and begged for someone to help you... to give her back to you. You didn't realize I was there, but I was and you were looking right at me. So I broke the rules and gave her back to you." While he spoke Layla stood silently, tears building in her eyes. The moment he stopped she pulled him into a hug.
This hug was different to the one before. Lucy's hug felt like if he let go of her she would vanish into darkness. This hug felt comforting. Is this what it felt like to be hugged by your mum? Natsu didn't have a mum himself, but if he did he imagined her hugs would have felt something like this.
"Thankyou. I can never possibly repay you for what you did. If there is anything at all that I can do for you, even now. Ask and I will make it so." She pulled away from the hug and looked at him, a soft look filled with affection and gratitude.
"Forgiveness. Please. I want your forgiveness." His tone sounded desperate but his words were completely true. All he wanted was to be forgiven. He didn't want to live forever, carrying the burden of someone's death on his shoulders.
"What for?"
"The day I gave your daughter back to you, I broke the rules. I threw off the balance of the world and for balance to be restored... you had to die. I didn't know this would happen and I am so sorry. If you can bring yourself to, please forgive me." He contemplated falling to his knees and begging but decided that was to pathetic, even for him.
"So, you're telling me that you seen me begging to take me instead of my daughter. You then gave her back to me and gave me over a decade with her. Years where I could watch her grow up, take her first steps, say her first words and turn into a beautiful young lady. Years that I would never have had with her, if you hadn't of done what you did. And you want forgiveness for that?" Natsu nodded. "There is nothing for me to forgive. What you done for me, I can never possibly thank you enough. I am so grateful to you. If you want my forgiveness, consider it yours. You did nothing wrong to me in the first place. You gave me everything." Layla placed a hand on his cheek and Natsu felt the weight on his shoulders drain away.
She was happy, that he did what he done. She didn't think he made some awful mistake. He wished he could have known this woman better. She was kind and warm.
"You're mum must be so proud to have a son like you, someone so kind and compassionate. She is really lucky."
Natsu started walking again with Layla beside him. The light surrounding them glowed and sparkled and twinkled all at once.
"I don't have a mum. I am death, death is not born so we don't have parents."
"I'm sorry. Well if I was your mum, I'd be very proud of you. If it were possible I would tell you to marry Lucy just so you could be my son." Layla giggled. "How old are you anyway Natsu?"
Natsu ignored the first part of what she said in favour of answering the question and steering clear of an awkward topic for him. Death couldn't get married. It was impossible for him.
"I have existed for over fifteen years. Almost sixteen."
"Really? Lucy is fifteen herself so that means you must have only been a baby yourself when she was born!" Layla's eyes widened and her mouth hung open.
"I came into existence as I am now. We don't age or grow from the moment we start existing." Natsu wasn't use to being asked so many questions about himself. It was kind of nice, almost as though somebody cared about him.
They arrived at the wall, the wall that Layla would pass through.
"I guess this is where I have to go right?" She smiled at him.
"Yeah" he smiled back at her. It was nice having someone to talk to while it lasted.
"I know you have done so much for me already, but before I go I have one last favour to ask of you."
"What is it?"
"Lucy wasn't lying when she said I was all she had. After I got sick her father blamed her and treated her terribly. I fear that with me gone he will sell her off to a husband just to get rid of her, or that he will isolate her completely. Please watch over her for me. Be her friend, so she won't be alone. Keep her safe and be there for her. I know it's a lot to ask but-"
"I'll do it." Natsu interrupted. He had been watching over her for years already. He wanted her to be happy. Layla beamed at him, he had never seen anyone look at him with such joy before.
"Promise?" Natsu had never made a promise before. He knew it was something important and not to be taken light heartedly.
"I promise."
"Thankyou Natsu." She pulled him into a quick hug. "Goodbye, tell Lucy I love her. I put money away for her so if worst comes to worst she can leave the house. She doesn't have to put up with him if she does not want to, please make sure she knows that... and help guide her along the way."
Layla turned away from him and walked into the void ahead. A peaceful expression on her face. In that moment Natsu felt like he really had done a good thing. He had helped her, and he would help Lucy too.
Everything dissolved around him and he was once again in the room he was before. He didn't know what the room was called, he just knew it was now empty. He knew where Lucy would be, in her room. He just needed to get outside to find her window, it would be easy enough to get through it.
Within minutes he was standing inside her room, right next to the window. Lucy was laying on her bed, clutching her chest and crying. He walked toward her slowly, he needed her to like him. To want him around. He made a promise, he intended to keep it.
"Why did you come back?" Lucy started to sit up and look at him. She must have heard him enter. How? Well he wasn't too sure. Her voice sounded weak and broken, like she was falling apart from the inside out.
"I promised your mum that you wouldn't be alone. That I would be here to watch over you. She told me to tell you that she loves you." He decided to leave out the rest for now. She had been overwhelmed enough as it was, she didn't need to know all the details. Not yet.
"I don't want to be alone... are you even allowed to be here? Aren't you the grim reaper or something?" She was wiping her eyes with her sleeves and in between her words were little hiccups, but at least the tears had stopped.
"Hey! That's called stereotyping and its not nice ya know? Do I look like I wear a cloak and carry a weapon?" Truthfully he didn't know what he looked like, but he was certain he didn't wear a cloak or carry any sort of sharp object. He didn't want to scare people, it was just an occupational hazard sometimes. As for if he was allowed to be there, probably not. It wouldn't stop him, this was his existence. He could spend it how he pleased during his free time.
"No you don't. What should I call you then? If you aren't the grim reaper what are you?" Lucy let out a small laugh. She had a really pretty laugh, even if it sounded sad.
"You can call me Natsu, it is my name after all. I am a personification of death, I don't cause death nor do I have any say in who dies and who doesn't. I just collect the souls and help them find their way so they don't get lost and end up where they are not supposed to be." He stood in front of her awkwardly. He was unsure where to stand or how to be.
"Well, thankyou Natsu. For today I mean. I'm glad it was you who took mum wherever she had to go."
"You're welcome Lucy. How are you feeling anyway?"
"Like I need a hug and my mum." The tears came back to her eyes all over again and traced their path along her cheeks. "I'm such an idiot."
"You're not an idiot, you're human. I can't bring your mum back, but if you don't mind it being me I can give you that hug?" That was all it took for Lucy to grab his shirt and drag him to sit next to her on the bed.
It was awkward at first, she just hugged into his side and he wrapped an arm around her feeling unsure of what to say or do to make it better. Eventually however, she ended up cradled in his arms with her legs across him. She cried in his arms until she fell asleep and he just sat there holding her, silently, just being there.
When she fell asleep he tucked her into bed and left. He would be back to check on her tomorrow, that much he knew. He would keep his promise to her mother and be her friend. He would be her comfort and make sure she wasn't alone no matter what anyone had to say about it.
Rules be damned.
A/N
Well there is the second chapter! I hope you all enjoyed it! Please let me know what you think! I love reading reviews and messages from anyone who reads anything that I write, it truly does make my day!
A massive thankyou to anyone who has reviewed so far (although I wouldn't know because I wrote this chapter before I have even posted the first one)
Lots of love and well wishes to all of you!
