A/N: This chapter will close out the birthday party for us. I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!
"Oh Mr. Mason," I stammered out, not expecting to see him standing so close. He was so handsome it was almost off-putting. A small part of me began to understand the unspoken aggression that had been shown to his wife for finding such a man. It was of course hard to blame him for the choice when she was endowed with such unique beauty. In another world where I had not married Jacob, I might have vied for the affections of such a man. It did not hurt that he was a self-made businessman of hard work, a drive sorely missing from my own mate.
"Pardon me, what did you say," I started again, realizing with embarrassment that he had spoken while I was busy comparing him to my husband. Thankfully the rouge on my cheeks would disguise the flush I gave myself.
He smiled, looking nonplussed and slightly amused, "I just wanted to let you know that it looks like your hand fan fell and is tangled in the lace of your gown."
My cheeks grew hotter as I turned my head further and looked down to find that indeed my fan had fallen out of my reticle and was snared in the lace at the bottom edge of my dress. I only hoped that rescuing the fan would not rip the lace and ruin the gown, otherwise I don't know who will be more upset with me-myself, Bree, or Jacob.
"I would have picked it up myself but…" he trailed off, the obvious impropriety of it did not need to be spoken. The gossip hounds had enough to eat, I didn't need to give them a fresh kill to snap up and run away with.
"Of course, of course. I wouldn't dream," I quickly shook my head at the silliness of it all, my cheeks flaming now and I could feel it creeping down my neck and chest. How dreadfully embarrassing it was to be caught looking so disheveled and in front of such a handsome newcomer. My mother always taught me, first impressions are everything.
I needed to get away from any eyes that might catch my embarrassment quickly and I needed to somehow get the attention of someone to help me. Preferably Alice or one of her maids.
"Excuse me Mr. Mason," I tried to smile before I made my leave. I was careful to pull the hem of my dress up, to prevent the fan from clattering on the ground, as I began to walk towards the door that would lead to a hallway I knew contained a powder room as well as one of the service entrances.
My steps were quick and I managed to avoid running into anyone who might notice the faux pas with my fan.
I took a moment to collect myself and settle my earlier embarrassment before venturing further down the hall and into the powder room. For some reason, having Mr. Mason point it out made it much worse than if one of the ladies had. Perhaps it was just because he was so handsome. No lady ever liked being caught in an embarrassing situation by such a handsome man.
I was lucky to quickly catch sight of the Hale's little Irish maid, Maggie. She was still new to the country, having come over with her brother earlier in the year. Now she was lucky to be serving in the Alice and Jasper's household. She was paid well enough considering her position as the lowest on the domestic rung, and Alice and Jasper were benevolent and caring employers. A young girl like Maggie could have ended up in a lot of terrible places when she started to look for work, especially as an Irish immigrant.
"Maggie," I called out to her softly as she passed by the door for the powder room I was hiding in. She stopped in her tracks, and averting her gaze to the ground out of respect.
"Yes ma'am? How may'a assist yeh?" She asked in her heavy accent.
"Maggie, it's me," I stepped out slightly so the candles that illuminated the outer hallway would show her my face. She relaxed slightly, but continued to hold a very professional posture.
"Hello Mrs. Black," she smiled now, knowing that she was free to be personable and herself.
"Maggie, I need your help," I informed her as I brought her into the power room and hit the switch for the gas lights. Once we were bathed in the yellow glow of the gas lamps, I turned my body until the back of my dress was facing her and she was able to see my predicament.
"Ach, Mrs. Black, what have ye done to this beautiful dress?" she clucked her tongue as she bent to examine the damage. "I donna understand how you've managed this."
I'm upset all over again at the thought of Mr. Mason pointing it out. It should not get to me so, I should not let it. But it would always be his first impression of me and that does not sit well at all. I hope to God he will forget it, though I know I will not.
"Well my Bree thought it clever to fasten my reticule to the waistband of the dress to keep my hands free. But it is a bit difficult to take things in and out of it. I must've missed when I put my fan away and it fell without my noticing. I only hope you'll be able to detangle it without ripping the lace," I tried to look behind me to supervise her work but the angle was far to harsh for my neck. I could feel the tugging on the lace that traveled all the way up the back of the bodice.
"There ye go," Maggie proclaimed jubilantly as she held out my fan. "Only one bitty piece of lace was snagged Mrs. Black. Hardly noticeable," her freckled face was shining with pride in her handiwork.
"Oh Maggie! You wonderful creature!" I patted her on the head with a grin of my own. I reached for the reticule on my waistband and fished for a silver coin I knew I'd stashed in my purse before we left. I kept my fan in my free hand, intent to hold it for the rest of the night to avoid any additional mishaps. I handed her the silver coin and she bowed deeply in thanks.
"Thank ye Mrs. Black, you are a fine woman," she remarked before scurrying off in search of what was likely her original intent in coming down the corridor.
I allowed myself another moment to relieve myself of my earlier embarrassment. I pulled the silk glove down my free arm enough so that I could press my forearm to my cheek. Nice and cool. Much better.
I arranged my glove back up my arm, opened my fan with a flourish and began back down the hall to the ballroom.
Everything was exactly as I left it, except now there were more than a few couples dancing together in the center of the room. I was reminded once more of my husband's inability to partake it something I considered one of my favorite parts of going to parties and balls.
I searched the crowds of party-goers for Jacob. He was quickly found in the furthest corner from the band and dancing. Of course.
My eyes narrowed slightly but I controlled my visible displeasure as I began to make my way across the grand room, smiling and greeting as I passed acquaintances. There really were a lot of society people at the party.
When I finally came upon my husband he was still surrounded by a few of his old law school friends. The good old boys as I thought of them. Every one of them was a trust fund son with varying degrees of effort to continue their father's good names.
That seemed to be the trouble with many men and women in our current circle. Everyone was far too content to stay within the comfort and ease that their parent's vast riches afforded them. I could not say that I was completely innocent but in my case there was little I could do.
My husband on the other hand was guilty of coasting off the good life his father had set up for him even when he has the means and the ability to do so much more with himself.
When we met formally he was just finishing up his final year of law school. Of course he would try to enter the profession just as the Bar Association made formal schooling mandatory for all who were to test to be certified.
Jacob was hard working then. How much had changed in only a few years. But now there was no drive to take over for his father, at least not until the poor man died and then he would be forced to act. I had my suspicions of course but did not dwell on them. He was too far gone to change now. The drink had ensnared him well.
"Mr. Cameron, Mr. McCarty, Mr. Clearwater," I greeted Jacob's current posse as they were his closest friends along with Jasper. The trio of men were husbands to the women in my so called gaggle of friends I was avoiding. "Jacob," I moved to my husband's side carefully, eyeing the nearly drained crystal glass of dark liquor he was nursing. How many was that already? My guess was that he was at least on his third. Jacob was an expert at putting his whiskey back.
"Mrs. Black," they all smiled and nodded their return greeting.
"Are the ladies all beside themselves over the Masons?" Emmett McCarthy asked with a chuckle as he took a sip of his own glass of amber. "I think I saw my poor Rose nearly faint at the sight of that woman."
The men exchanged suggestive glances that said that they too found Victoria Mason quite the sight to behold. I fought the urge to roll my eyes and sigh. The men were clouded by Victoria, and the ladies were clouded by the pair of them. The Masons were on par to drive the entire party quite mad.
"Oh you know us girls, we don't like having a new rival enter the ring without advance warning," I smiled sweetly, playing along with the docile and daft image they surely had of us society women.
It was not the conversation I really wanted to be having, but it helped take my mind off my earlier fan faux pas.
I turned to my husband, my bottom lip held between my teeth as I prepared to ask a question I already knew the answer to. I always knew the answer but I could not stop myself from asking.
"Do you want to dance darling?" I asked him, my brow raised hopefully as I released my lip. My brown eyes were glued to his face, watching him mull it over as he took another pull from his glass until it was empty. He savored the sip and closed one eye before shaking his head slightly.
"I'm not feeling up to it, sorry Is," he took my hand and pressed the smallest kiss to the back of it in apology. I smiled the smallest smile I could manage as I allowed myself to become disappointed. Surely I would find someone else to dance with this evening, but the point of it all was that I wanted to dance with my husband. I just do not understand why he cannot understand my desire.
I longed for his arms holding me, guiding me as we might float across the dance floor, surrounded by other couples and yet completely unaware of their presence. Just like it used to be when we were first married. Had three years, nearly four, already changed so much between us?
I wasn't sure whose fault it was. Maybe it was mine, maybe I was not a good enough wife to him. Perhaps I nagged too much, and told him that I cared too little. What if I was the cause of his dependency on the drink that he now seemed to love more than me? How could I ever get him back?
With another small smile and a whisper of a goodbye to my husband and his friends, I grabbed ahold of my skirts and turned to walk away. I needed Alice.
Of course, who would I run into once more but Mr. Mason?
"Pardon me," I tried to quickly get away, lest I bloom with an embarrassed flush again. Of course he flashed a dazzling smile that made my breath catch in my throat. I felt myself flush anyways.
"How goes it fellows?" he blended easily into the group as I was left. At least the men were much more receptive to newcomers. They would likely have no problem welcoming Mr. Mason into the fold and quickly got down to introductions.
"Have you seen Alice?" I asked Irina, grabbing her arm lightly to catch her attention away from the dancing figures at the center of the room. Alice and Jasper could not be counted amongst them.
"No," she shook her head, a tendril of her blonde hair falling loose from her bun. Her eyes began to twinkle knowingly and her lips turned up in a secret smile that I couldn't place. "But I saw you…"
My eyebrows shot up. I knew that look. Whatever Irina was thinking, could not be good.
"I really don't know what you're talking about…" I tried to smother the accusatory flames before they got out of control. Irina really was a force to be reckoned with.
"Oh please, I saw that little exchange between you and Mr. Mason.." she tutted her tongue and shook her head in a taunting way. "He was standing awfully close, and I didn't see you step away. Anyone who didn't know better might've thought you were lovers." She grinned salaciously, happy to believe that what she'd seen between Mason and I was inappropriate.
I felt my cheeks go scarlet again, but less with embarrassment and more with anger at her pitiful gossip mongering.
"Irina, what you saw was Mr. Mason pointing out that I'd dropped my fan on the ground. Nothing more. Whatever else you're thinking, is wrong. Understood? Thank you," I sniffed as I began to walk away. I'm sure I haven't completely quieted her belief, but it was better than letting it run amok.
After all, I had never met either Mason before this very evening, how in the world was I meant to be Mr. Mason's lover? And to display it for everyone to see at one of the biggest events of the year? Surely Irina was losing it.
"Di'you have fun?" Jacob asked, his words slurring as his body jostled with every bump of the carriage.
"Yes, thank you darling," I nodded, looking out the window as I attempted to sit as far from him as possible within the tight confines of the cab. I was happy for the short drive back to our home. My husband smelled so terribly of the drink he imbibed himself with from the time we arrived to the party until the very moment we left.
At least I got to dance before we left the party. Some of my husband's friends asked for my hand, but I only danced with those whose wives I knew would approve. Emmett was a bear of a partner, but he made it fun. Seth Clearwater was a bit weak footed but he still managed to lead a lovely dance for me. I was lucky to have danced at all.
I also managed to get a moment alone with Alice, and recount my strange and embarrassing interaction with Edward Mason, along with the terrible gossip Irina was trying to start. Alice promised to help quiet whatever whispers she heard. I'm only afraid the whisper won't start until the days to come.
Once we were home, Jacob went straight to his study. He really was a creature of habit.
Bree helped me undress, and I was glad to be relieved of the heavy gown and its accompanying undergarments. My corset was so supportive all day long, but I still loved the feeling of having only my nightgown to contain me.
"Bree, please don't wait up for Mr. Black… see to the fires and then go to bed. I'll take my breakfast at half past nine," I instructed my lady's maid who would pass along the information to the other members of the domestic household on my behalf.
When I was finally alone in my bed, alone to ward off the cold, I allowed my to break down completely. I cried for myself, for my husband, for my lack of love, and for every desire of my heart that has not been fulfilled.