Chapter Three:
"Dang…" Lance said, eyes wide as Pidge finished their story. "Wow, that was just…"
"Harsh?" Hunk said.
"Horribly, horribly cruel." Allura said, shaking her head, gazing at the youngest Paladin with sympathy.
"Yeah, well," Pidge said with a shrug, arms folded over their chest. "At least I now have the satisfaction of being right about everything."
"How did you manage to hide your identity from him once you were at the Garrison?" Keith asked, brow furrowed. "First and second years take some classes together, regardless of whether they're fighter class or cargo class; if he was around you enough, he could have figured it out."
"Oh, I'm not a first year. Technically." Pidge said. "That's how I ended up meeting Lance and Hunk. See, the Garrison won't let pilots test into higher levels because they need a certain amount of time on the simulator. But if you're engineering or communications, they'll let you test into higher classes. Granted, you need a lot of letters of recommendation and super high grades to get tested, but I had both of those things. The plan to this had two key priorities: the first was to stay away from Shinji as much as possible, and the second was to get into space as fast as possible."
"And how did you explain the whole 'Pidge Gunderson', not 'Holt' thing?" Lance asked. "Especially if they knew you had already been accepted?"
"I told the administrators at my school that I didn't want to be associated with the Kerberos mission. Didn't want people to want to befriend me out of sympathy or to be treated differently or have people talk about me behind my back." Pidge said with a shrug. "So they assumed that the Garrison knew that I was going in under my mom's maiden name. As far as the Garrison's concerned, Pidge Gunderson just coincidentally attended the same school as Katelyn Holt."
"And how did you explain the 'he' not 'she' and 'Mister' not 'Miss'?" Hunk asked.
"Oh, all that took was a little bit of forgery and thievery on my account." Pidge explained. "My teachers and Headmaster gave me all the letters to take to the Garrison, and I asked a friend of mine who helped out in the office to swipe a few of the official sheets of paper so I could re-type all the letters using different pronouns."
"You went through a lot of effort to avoid this boy and to learn about what happened to your family." Coran observed, stroking his mustache. "It is quite admirable."
"Yeah, but it means that me and my mom did a whole lot of lying in order to do so," Pidge pointed out glumly.
"Only proving your determination for discovering the truth." Allura said. "As well as your loyalty to your friends and your beliefs."
"I'm assuming that you have not told Shiro about this." Keith said.
"Yeah, well, it'd be kind of weird to just say 'Hey, Shiro, no hard feelings, but I hate your brother who is a total jerk-wad to me and I have no idea how you two could possibly be related'." Pidge said, rolling their eyes.
"True that." Lance said, standing up, putting his hands on his lower back as he stretched. "So. I'm gonna assume we're going to reschedule movie night."
"Aw, man, it is getting late." Hunk said, glancing at the clock. "Can we do it tomorrow night instead?"
"I see no harm in doing so, but we should probably confirm with Shiro." Allura said as she also stood up.
"Speaking of Shiro," Keith said, standing up straight so that he wasn't leaning against the wall. "We should probably find him and check in on him."
"Yeah, he did seem kind of upset." Lance said with a nod. "Can't blame him."
"I'll go find him," Pidge said, standing up and stretching. "It'll give Shiro an excuse to tell me to go to bed."
"Okay, but don't actually stay up too late." Hunk said, ruffling Pidge's hair.
"Sure thing, Space Dad Junior." Pidge said with a smirk.
"Hey, I am not Space Dad Junior. I am now and forever will be the official Mom Friend." Hunk said, folding his arms over his chest.
"Ain't that the truth." Lance said with a grin.
"Goodnight, guys," Pidge said as they ducked past, trying to decide where to start the Shiro hunt.
As they wandered around the castle, Pidge wondered if this was how Shiro felt nearly every single night as he went about the "Pidge Hunt" as Lance referred to it as. Finding whatever nook or cranny that Pidge had wedged into to work and had inadvertently fallen asleep in, before Shiro carried the Green Paladin back to their bedroom. It was weird to be on this side of the nightly hunt.
Pidge was only slightly surprised to find Shiro in the observatory room with the Balmera crystal. Everyone tended to drift into that room when they were homesick.
"Hey." Pidge said, taking a seat beside Shiro.
"Shouldn't you be in bed?" Shiro said, glancing down at Pidge.
"Shouldn't you?" Pidge asked, putting their hands behind them to support them. Pidge wrinkled their nose. "You stink a little, no offense. Were you on the training deck?"
"For a little while, yes." Shiro admitted with a frown. "I… Do you ever feel like if you just keep your body moving, your mind will eventually catch up so that when you stop you've got everything together in one place?"
"Sometimes." Pidge admitted. "But I think I limit it more to moving my fingers. You know, analyzing data and making repairs and all that sort of thing."
"You really hate the training deck, don't you?" Shiro said with a small chuckle.
"Ugh, yes." Pidge said with a frown, sticking out their tongue in disgust. "But it's a necessary evil."
"Yeah." Shiro said, staring down at his right hand, arm somewhat raised as he moved his fingers.
Pidge watched him for a moment.
"Shiro, are you okay?" Pidge asked.
"I'm… I don't know anymore. Probably not." Shiro admitted. "I thought I was. I thought I was doing okay. That I was getting better. But then I'm confronted with something that reminds me of all these gaps I have in my memories, and… And I can't bring them back. I don't know if I've lost them, if I can recover them. I don't know if I want to recover them. That video, those photos, they reminded me of everything that I can't remember. And I don't know how I remember what I do remember, why those things stick with me. Like memories of your dad and Matt… I remember being on the Kerberos mission with them. I have like these vague snippets of memories of being at the Garrison with Matt. But I didn't remember Tali, even though she was almost always with me and Matt. I don't remember any of those photos being taken. I don't remember living in America or Japan or on Earth in general. I can barely remember words from my first language sometimes. Pidge, I didn't even really remember that I have a brother and a sister."
Pidge felt their heart break. They reached up and put their hand comfortingly on Shiro's shoulder.
"It's okay, Shiro. That you can't remember. You've probably got, like, some sort of lingering affect from a concussion or something, so it's not your fault. And you're getting better, remembering more all the time. But no one wants you to feel rushed to remember. You're healing. We all know that and respect that. And it hasn't changed who you are one bit, you know. You're still the same person you've always been, personality wise. And… And before you start to worry, it doesn't change how we see you as a leader. You always bring out the best in people. You always have, Shiro. You always will."
Shiro was quiet, not looking at Pidge. Pidge slipped their hand down Shiro's arm, taking his hand in theirs.
"We can help you remember stuff, if you want." Pidge said. "I mean, I've only met your family a few times, but you and Tali were almost always at my house when the Garrison gave out free weekends. So I could help you. And Keith, too, since you two were friends before. And…"
"Katie." Shiro said suddenly.
Pidge stopped rambling and looked up at Shiro, who was smiling down at them.
"Thank you." He said.
Pidge grinned widely. Impulsively, they threw their arms around Shiro, who returned the hug.
"Alright," Shiro said, gently patting the back of Pidge's head. "Bed time."
"I'll go to bed if you do." Pidge said, pulling back to look up at Shiro. "And none of that stupid 'lay down for an hour and pretend to try to fall asleep only to claim insomnia and work-out' thing you do."
"I don't do that," Shiro said defensively.
"Yeah, you do." Pidge argued as they got to their feet.
"And how exactly do you know that?" Shiro asked as he followed suit. Then he frowned. "Let me guess, the mice."
"They told Allura, who decided to rant about it to me for some reason." Pidge explained. "I think it was just because I was an easily captured audience."
"Is that why she was glaring at me at breakfast this morning?" Shiro asked, absent-mindedly running a hand through his hair with a sigh.
"Yeah. She was planning on confronting you after movie night." Pidge said, wrapping their arm around Shiro's and gently tugging him towards the door. "Something about having you already relaxed and therefore easily vulnerable and bullied into a full-night's sleep."
"Ah, well. Now that I know I've been caught, she can be assured that I'll either stop or find something different to do instead." Shiro said.
"I think we'd all prefer that to be sleep." Pidge said. "Seriously, was the last time you really slept two weeks ago after we freed that planet with the bird people? And only because Hunk accidentally initiated a cuddle pile in the lounge and we all slept for like a whole day, all of us pretty much on top of you?"
"Yeah, maybe." Shiro said with a shrug. "It's hard to tell anymore."
"Look, you have two options: find a way to sleep on your own, or you'll be on the bottom of a cuddle pile every night for the rest of your life." Pidge said.
"Even when we get back to Earth?" Shiro asked teasingly.
"Oh, especially then. Because Earth has king sized beds. Only reason why we don't do cuddle piles more often is because we all like mattresses, and there isn't one big enough around here for all of us." Pidge said. Then, Pidge frowned. "Uh, Shiro? We just walked past your door…"
"I know." Shiro said as they continued to walk.
"That's where your bed is." Pidge reminded him.
"I know." Shiro said again.
"Then why are we still walking?" Pidge asked.
"A few reasons." Shiro said. "The first is that I'm walking you to your bedroom."
Pidge grinned.
"Such a gallant gentleman," They said. "Now, is that Paladin Code or Garrison?"
"It's Shirogane Code." Shiro said. "But it's also a little selfish."
"Why is that?" Pidge asked as they stopped in front of Pidge's bedroom door.
"Because I wanted to keep talking with you for a little while longer." Shiro said.
Pidge couldn't stop the blush, or the shy smile, as Shiro gently leaned down and gave Pidge a kiss on the top of their head.
"Good night, Katie." He whispered.
"Good night, Takashi." Pidge whispered back.
He gave their hair a little ruffle, then turned to head back to his room.
Pidge hesitated, then called,
"Shiro!"
He paused and turned to look at them.
"If… I don't know if this makes you feel any better…" Pidge said. "You may not remember your family right now. But I promise you, they remember you."
Pidge watched as Shiro's shoulders relaxed and a smile spread slowly across his face.
"It does, actually." He said. "Thank you, Pidge."
Pidge stood outside their door for a moment, watching him leave. Then, they grinned and went inside, happy but exhausted.
As they climbed into bed, they decided that everything Shinji Shirogane had put them through was worth it. Worth finding out that they were right all along. Worth exploring life as a boy and solidifying their theory of being non-binary. Worth learning that their family was alive and could be reunited. Worth getting involved with Voltron and bonding with Green. Worth every moment they spent with Hunk, Keith, Lance, Allura, Coran, the mice, the Lions, all the tech…
And Shiro.
Pidge very happily slept very long and very hard that night.
Until that sleep was rudely interrupted.
"Pidge! Pidge!"
Pidge blearily opened their eyes to see a blurry yellow blob shaking them, needing a few seconds to realize that the said yellow blob was actually a pajama-clad Hunk trying to wake them.
"Hunk?" Pidge groaned, propping up on their elbow slightly, reaching for their glasses on the stand beside their bunk. "What's wrong? Are the Galra attacking? Why isn't the alarm working?"
"Pidge," Hunk said, eyes wide. "Lani and Tali posted a new video."
"Great." Pidge said sarcastically, glowering slightly. "I can't wait to watch it. In the morning."
"No, Pidge, you don't understand!" Hunk said, grabbing Pidge's shoulder before they could take their glasses back off to roll over and go back to sleep.
Pidge frowned up at their friend, confused. Hunk took a deep breath, then said,
"The Galra are in the process of trying to take over Earth."