Chapter 12 - All I Want for Christmas

A/N: Callen's injury was taken from "Searching" episode.

"You okay G?" Sam asked as the Challenger cruised along the highway, traffic lighter than usual.

"Yeah. Just thinking how this," he pointed to his leg, "will affect our vacation."

"You have to keep it dry for six days, three of which are before you leave, if you count today." Sam was trying to keep Callen's spirits up as he was (still) sympathetic of his partner's ongoing struggles with balancing work and his relationship with Katie. They didn't talk in depth about things, that's what therapy was for, but Callen had confided in Sam about going to therapy. So, Sam tried to reassure Callen that eventually he would find that balance. Maybe not exactly what he was looking for. But something that he, and Katie, could live (happily) with.

Callen nodded as he stared out the window, not really looking at anything.

Several minutes later Sam pulled into Callen's driveway, parked the car then turned to his friend.

"I'm sure Katie will take very good care of you."

As Callen turned to face him, the mischievous smile and wink of an eye put a slight smile on the injured Agent's face.

"Just saying G, I'm sure you two will find something to do for three days that doesn't involve sand and water," Sam quipped as he helped Callen out of the car.

The injury itself wasn't bad but the location of the wound had his calf constantly throbbing. A dull, achy throb.

"Thanks, big guy, I can take it from here," he said as he reached for his keys in his jacket pocket.

"Not happening. I'm gonna make sure you are settled before I leave. It'll be a few hours before Katie gets home."

He could mange on his own, but he graciously accepted Sam's offer to make something to eat as he just wanted to put his leg up as that helped with the throbbing.

Katie recognized Sam's car as she pulled up beside it.

"Hey, you two," Katie called out as she closed the front door behind her. Her eyes were immediately drawn to Callen's leg on the coffee table. Normally she would ask him to not do that but the white bandage with red spots, wrapped around it just below his knee had her letting it go.

"G-man here thought it was cool to not pay attention to stray bullets today," Sam teased as he stood to give Katie a kiss on the cheek.

Katie thanked Sam for bringing Callen home before walking him to the door. She knew Sam meant well but his comment wasn't humorous to her. In any way.

When she heard Sam's car door close, Katie turned to Callen, "I guess I don't have to ask how your day was."

"No, you don't".

Katie put down her two bags and moved to sit beside him on the couch.

"How bad does it hurt?"

"Right now, it's a dull ache. Hurts more when I walk though."

"Did you take any?" she asked as she pointed to the pill bottle on the table.

"Not yet. Wasn't sure if they would make me tired. I wanted to be awake when you came home." Well if that didn't pull at her heart strings. Or more like a big tug.

"Well, I'm home now and you look like you could use one or two of them. I'll get you some water."

When she returned with the glass half filled, Callen eagerly took it from her and swallowed two capsules.

"You want to take a nap?" she asked as she put the glass on the table.

"I think that's a good idea. Just a short one though."

Katie was as observant as ever and knew there was no way that he would be taking a short nap and when he asked her to wake him, if he actually did fall asleep, she half heartedly agreed.

As Callen settled, the coolness of the cotton sheets against his bare skin was a refreshing welcome.

Katie tended to her usual after work things like unpacking her lunch bag, changing clothes, and checking work emails. Everything was set up for her and Taryn to volunteer at the local women's shelter for the morning. The gifts had already been delivered and food would arrive shortly before noon. In addition to helping spread the season's spirit, Katie and her boss would talk one on one with anyone who wanted to.

Katie opted for ordering pizza instead of cooking as she just wasn't in a cooking mood. Forty-five minutes later, Katie checked on Callen who was fast asleep. Choosing to let him sleep longer, pizza was ordered and when it came she would wake him up.

"This is hitting all the right spots in my stomach," Callen said after finishing the first slice of pizza.

"Hope you don't mind the toppings I chose."

"I think I could have eaten the box," he somewhat joked as he reached for another slice.

"The nap seems to have done you good."

"It did. Thanks for not waking me. You know me well."

Yes, she did.

"So how did it happen?" she asked after bringing two glasses of water out for them.

"Stray bullet," he answered as though it wasn't a big deal that it happened, not the actual pain it caused. "Honestly, I didn't even feel it until Deeks pointed it out. Guess it was due to the adrenaline still flowing through me after the shoot out."

Her eyes widened. They talked about his work, but this was a first.

"Shootout?"

"Yeah." He didn't seem phased by Katie's surprise at his answer.

"I know you use a gun, but shootout sounds so violent. Do they happen often?" The thought of him enduring a daily or even weekly shootout made her stomach tighten.

He gazed over his slice of pizza at Katie who was waiting for an answer.

"You know what I do Kates."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Do we really have to talk about this? I'm fine, my leg will heal." He didn't want to talk about shootouts with his fiancé. Not now. Not ever. It was enough for him to be a part of one and recall happenings for after action reports.

She saw the look of disinclination in his eyes and agreed to end the topic.

"Fine, we don't have to talk about your guns-a-blazing outings, but can I ask you what you wear during a shootout?"

"What I wear?"

"Yeah. I'm assuming you wear a vest."

He nodded. "Usually." The look of fear on her face was enough for him to continue, "We don't always plan for engagement with the bad guys."

Fair enough, she thought.

"Do you wear one of those thigh holsters or do you keep it in the back of your jeans?" It was time to change the subject somewhat before she learned a fact or two she would regret knowing.

"Seriously? You want to talk about my tactical wardrobe?"

"You won't talk about stray bullets, one of them that happened to graze your calf. So, I think this is a good compromise. Don't you?"

For a moment he was ready to retaliate with a comeback line but then he saw it. That glint of playfulness in her eyes.

"Thigh holster. Right here." He pointed to the area several inches above his bandage. "It's an obvious necessity but it has to be snug fitting so when I put my gun back in, it doesn't fall down." He could tell by the way Katie shifted her position in the chair that she was enamoured with him talking about his thigh holster. Forget the holster. She was all about the thighs. His thighs.

"Safety first, right?" she said a she took of water and then licked her lips.

He nodded as he finished his last slice of pizza. "I'm feeling better but not sure I can take you into the bedroom and ravish you." He was serious.

"No need for you to move." She was serious. After collecting the plates and taking them to the kitchen, Katie used the washroom and returned to the living room, with a towel.

"I know I got some sauce on my shirt, but do you really think I need a towel?"

"Put it under you."

After handing him the towel, she gave another direction. "And drop those pants."

His pain meds were working in full force and the dissipation of the pain was allowing for the awakening of an erection.

Katie watched his intent, his deliberate movements to avoid touching his wound on anything. She loved to just watch him. His attention to details like making sure the pillows were at the other end of the couch and that the towel covered enough space for them to frolic on were always worthy of watching.. He wasn't exactly graceful but the way he moved in doing the simplest of tasks was, eloquent.

"You comfy?" she asked as she removed her shorts and watched as his sweatpants and underwear pooled at his ankles before he leaned forward and tossed them to the other side of the couch.

"Not yet," he answered as his motioned for her to sit on his lap.

After removing her shorts, the realization that she wasn't wearing underwear continued to enhance his arousal.

His arms encased her as their lips touched and she settled herself into a kneeling position, the connection of their bodies alluring as ever.

"Feels so good." His voice deepened as he pulled her tighter.

"Don't think I will ever get familiar with the feeling when we physically connect as one. It's a new experience every time." Her voice soft as his mouth made his way to her chin and she welcomed his entry into her.

"I think today it's because you've never had sex with a man with a fresh bullet wound before." He waited for her response, but all she did was deepen his physical presence inside her. "I'll take that as a no."

"This is called The Sofa Surprise," she announced as she moved to a position, that had here balancing her weight on her feet as she began timed movements. Up. Pause. Down. Pause.

His eyes widened, "I like this Sofa Surprise."

"Cosmopolitan,," she answered in a matter of fact tone.

"I still haven't written the editor of Cosmopolitan yet. But something is telling me if I do, I may have to write again. And again."

"There was a special issue recently dedicated to sex positions so you may want to hold off on writing that thank you."

"Sweet Mother of Jesus," he mumbled under his breath as she impaled him to the deepest point possible.

"It's perfect for your type of injury. On the bed your calf would be rubbing on the sheets. Here you can move your leg out if needed."

"You're always so thoughtful," he replied. He heard some more words exit from her mouth but was slightly distracted by the warmth of her body flush against his.

"Mmmm," was all he could manage as she pressed her lips gently on his. She teased him for a few moments, not allowing their tongues to meet. Her hot breath matched the heat between their bodies. When he could take it no longer he placed his hands firmly on either side of her face. Passion filled him as their mouths meet with fury, almost forgetting about his flesh wound. Hands started to roam and soon after, his shirt was gone. Naked, alone and fueled with an unprecedented desire for one another, Katie lifted her bottom up ever so slowly and slid down over him. There was a moment of stillness as Katie bit her bottom lip. She was most definitely the person in control during their romp on the couch. It was their first-time copulating on this piece of furniture. Katie had once leaned over the arm and provided an interesting scenario for a quickie a few months back.

Callen enjoyed watching, touching, and encouraging Katie as she tried variations of her Sofa Surprise position. When Katie carefully turned around to the Reverse Cowgirl position, Callen was pleased. His pain meds were still in full swing so gripping her hips was done with ease. Moments later she raised her bottom up but did not fully come back down. Repeating the slow, steady movement had Callen on the edge. There had been many a spectacular sights during their love making, but this, this one was extraordinarily mesmerizing. Knowing the position was short lived given the strain on her knees, Callen lifted his bottom up to meet her downward moves.

"Yeah, just like that," she said between moans of pleasure.

A few minutes later Katie switched back to facing Callen. By far, that was the most intimate position of the night.

"All I want for Christmas, is you," she said as they gazed into each other's eyes. I know it's beyond cliché but this year it truly is all I want. And Callen?"

"Yeah?" he whispered as he took all that she was offering.

"I'm really glad you're okay."

"So am I Kates. So am I.

"Your turn, Katie said after her body tightened in the embrace of his arms and she savoured the aftermath feelings of her orgasm

He whispered words of sweetness in her ear followed by, "Not tonight."

"You sure? I can use my hand and mouth."

Good Lord.

"Yeah I'm good. Watching and pleasuring you is all I need right now."

"I'm fortunate to have you in my life, you know that right?" Katie said as she stood to put her clothes back on after they cuddled for several minutes.

Feeling some confidence built up since his therapy session earlier that day his response was a first for him. "Yes, you are."

"Someone's feeling good. You sure it isn't the pain meds talking?"

"I wasn't finished. But not as fortunate as I am to have you in my life."

Katie smiled as she sat back down beside him after he had pulled his pants back up.

"Crazy day for a crazy year, eh?" His voice was somewhat dragging.

"You okay?" Katie asked as she moved a little closer to him.

"I'm good. Just getting tired. You certainly know how to exert my energy."

Her cheeks blushed a little despite that not being the first time Callen had paid her that sort of compliment.

After confirming what time Katie would be home from the Women's Shelter the next day, Callen brought up his need for hygiene help.

"Yeah, doctor said to keep it dry for at least six days."

"Six days, eh?" I think I can help you tend to your bathing needs during that time." They brainstormed some ideas as to how they could do that while keeping his bandage dry. After several suggestions were tossed about they had one they thought would be the most successful.

"We'll do that after I get home tomorrow, okay? I should be home by two."

"Yeah that sounds good."

They washed up, got ready for bed and Katie double checked her stuff she would need in the morning.

"I'll sleep in the guest bed," he announced while Katie finished up in the bathroom.

"You don't have to," she replied as she put on her sleep wear."

"I know but I think I may be a bit restless and don't want to disturb you. "I would like to talk though."

"Sure, we'll snuggle up in bed. I'll go turn off the lights and lock up. You get the bed warmed up."

Callen fluffed up their pillows. He like a fluffy pillow. Just felt better when his head was put down on it. Fluffy pillows weren't a thing when he was a child. Usually it was a somewhat hard piece of foam. But it was better than nothing. Now that had been a thing. Too many times.

His watch illuminated 8:22 as he set it on the bed side stand.

"I had a therapy session this morning, before this leg thing happened".

"I didn't know you had a session booked," Katie replied as she got into bed.

Callen was still standing, deciding which would be best position for him and his wounded leg.

"Here," Katie said as she pulled the sheets back from his side of the bed. The bedding won't press on it."

"Thanks". He laid down next to her on his back. "I didn't. Texted her last night and she had just gotten a cancellation."

Katie knew firsthand of the long wait lists for mental health help and was thankful Callen got an appointment. "Talk about luck, especially this close to Christmas."

"There's something that I need to tell you. It's affecting my progress of moving forward in therapy."

"You know you can tell me anything, right? Well, anything that isn't a matter of National Security."

"I know. But it's easier said than done."

"Take your time. No rush. I'm not going anywhere," her voice and words, comforting.

"I have a fear of you leaving me. Because of something that happens related to my job." Despite having rehearsed what he would say, he ended up blurting it out. But it felt good to get this out in the open with Katie.

Silence filled the air and Callen found himself holding his breath, trying not to break the silence.

"Is there something specific you think will happen, or just in general?"

He wasn't expecting her to say that but also wasn't surprised given her excellent problem-solving skills. And this was a problem for him.

"I knew you were struggling with some things but this..."

"Yeah," was his response as his good leg started to move in a nervous way.

"We've been through a lot, together. I wish you didn't feel that way."

"I know that Kates. It's irrational to think it. But I am. It's all part of my struggle to accept my past, live in the present and not stress about what may or may not happen in the future."

Katie's tone changed as she rolled over to look down at him, "Can you promise me that you won't get injured … or killed at work? He had anticipated many responses from her but that was not one of them.

He tried to speak but he was at a loss for words. "I…you…"

"Callen, I'm not planning on going anywhere. Just as you aren't planning to get beaten or shot at work. There are no guarantees in life except death and taxes."

"I just can't get past the feeling."

"I can't help you with that. Only you can change your mindset. I know my mindset is that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I know your mindset is that you want to spend the rest of your life with me."

"So, any tips on how to get past this?" he asked trying not to be anymore defeated by his thoughts.

Silence again filled the night air, Callen waiting almost breathlessly for Katie to answer with thought out words from her experiences in social work.

"I've only told my therapist this," she announced before stating her dark fear.

He started to speak and after the words "Oh my God Katie" left his mouth he realized what she had done.

"I would never leave you if you decided we not try to get pregnant."

"Just as I never plan to leave you because of something that may or may not happen in the future. It's all in our mindset. And until we change that we will continue to have these, irrational, fears."

"Please don't take this the wrong way, but I am so happy that you are in therapy." His head tilted downward after he spoke.

She twitched her mouth, "I know what you mean. I'm glad I can help."

"I will bring this up in next session and see how I can work on it. And Katie, I hope you can erase that thought from your mind. I would never do to that to you. To us. I love you, not your uterus."

It sounded weird saying it out loud, but it was the honest to goodness truth. They both wanted children but if Katie decided not to get pregnant, there was adoption. Something they had talked about before given both were aware of the number of children, in their state alone, without parents.

"I know how much having a child of your own means to you."

"Any child we bring into our lives and love will be our own."

She couldn't disagree with that. "I too know it's irrational and I'm working on it. Besides, we need to get married first. Actually, we need to get to Aruba for two glorious weeks before coming back to reality. October will be here before we know it."

"Is it bad of me to want to skip Christmas this year?" Callen asked as he moved to a sitting position.

"No not bad, but it's only Christmas dinner with Mike's family. His Aunt makes the best stuffing and gravy."

"I'm just getting a little anxious to get away, you know?"

"I know. Good things come to those who wait."

"I hope so," he replied as he stood when his leg started to cramp. Need to get another pill."

When he returned they talked for awhile before Katie set her alarm, Callen kissed her goodnight and made his way to the guest room. His earlier tiredness was replaced by anxiousness about his revelation to Katie, his next therapy session and of course, their trip.

His day had been a whirlwind of activity. Next to their trip he was most looking forward to a quiet Christmas Eve, snuggling under blankets, watching Die Hard and Merry Christmas Charlie Brown!, Katie's two favourite Christmas movies. Even though they disagreed that Bruce Willis' best movie wasn't an actual Christmas movie, neither minded watching it again. And in unison with the action movie star, Yippie Ki Yay Mother Fucker would be shouted. With that thought, he closed his eyes and waited for sleep to come.

Next Day

Callen was awake when Katie emerged from the bedroom after showering and getting ready for her volunteering. Pleasantries were exchanged, Katie didn't ask how he slept as the circles around his eyes were telling enough & Katie reminded him not to be a tough guy and take his pain meds when needed. He had wanted to say "Yes Mom" but refrained because, well, she was right.

After Katie left, Callen took heed of her words to try and get some sleep. He brushed his teeth and went to take a shower but then remembered he had to keep his leg dry. And that Katie would help tend to his bathing needs later. With that thought he downed two pills as his leg was throbbing again, settled into their bed in only his underwear and closed his eyes. The serenity of silence, coupled with the lack of sleep the night before, had him in a deep slumber sooner than he had anticipated.

Shortly after 2pm, Katie arrived home to a sleeping Callen. She tip-toed out of the room surprised he didn't stir in his sleep with her voice calling his name and her footsteps. Looking at the peacefulness warming his face, she realized that he really had come a long way since living together when it came to his 'old habits' and the ingrained awareness's that came with being a Specialized Undercover Federal Agent. She quietly took some clothes from the dresser before leaving, changed, then went into the kitchen. She glanced in the fridge to see what they had for food and made a list of a few things like bread, peanut butter, and some hamburger buns as she would cook the burgers they had in the freezer. They still had some fruits and vegetables and didn't want anymore as they would go bad while they were away. They could order in as well.

She left Callen a text before heading to the grocery store that she dreaded going to but was pleasantly surprised at how few people were there given it was two days before Christmas.

"Hey handsome," Katie said as she brought in the one bag of groceries.

Callen smiled as he rubbed his hand over his four-day old facial hair. "Hey beautiful. Did you get some beer?"

"No. Was I supposed to?"

"No. I just feel like one right now."

"Did you take your pills?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"Then you can't be drinking alcohol."

This would take some getting used to. Callen wasn't necessarily careless, but had he been on his own he would have placed an order for delivery for his favourite beer. He knew he shouldn't drive while taking pain meds but one beer a few hours after taking the pills had never been an issue in the past.

"So, what else did you get since I can't have a beer?" he asked with a mock pouting of his lips and a glance into the bag. He scrunched his face and went to look in the pantry.

"I bought a ripe avocado. I could make some dip and there's a bag of chips in the bottom of the cupboard."

"That sounds good, thanks."

He took the chips out and poured them in a bowl while Katie made the dip.

"How about burgers on the barbecue with those sweet potato fries you like?" she asked as she placed the dip on the table.

"We could order in?"

"We'll do that tomorrow, okay? I'm thinking Chinese?"

"That sounds good," he replied as he took the chips and dip to the living, sat down, and put his leg up.

They sat in silence as they ate the chips and dip before Callen turned the TV on to check the news. "There better not be anything out there that intends on disrupting our trip."

"What could possibly happen in our part of the world at Christmas?" Katie asked with a slightly cheeky tone.

He didn't answer as he was feeling a little superstitious and wasn't going to chance anything (else) impacting their trip. They watched a few minutes of the news before Katie turned the TV off.

"That was getting depressing," she stated as she picked up the empty bowls and took them to the kitchen and started dinner.

Callen started the barbecue while Katie cut up the last of the vegetables and didn't feel like cooking them, so she put them on a plate and poured some salad dressing into a bowl then added sour cream to make a dip.

It was a nice evening weather wise, so they ate dinner on the deck. As they cleaned up Callen asked her how her morning at the shelter went.

"Bittersweet, you know. It's great to bring some happiness even if temporary to those women and children but as we were cleaning up, it hit me that they will be back to their lives after we left. Lives of fear."

He walked over to her and gave her a hug. "You did something and that is what matters."

"I was thinking of our friends in Kenya on the way home. How their Christmas will be so different than ours. And not by choice."

He leaned back from her embrace, "They are our friends but also like family and I was thinking we should ask them to come to our wedding."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. What do you think about that?"

Katie's face was lit up. "What do I think about that? I think that is something we need to do! We would get to meet our name sake."

"We can talk about it when we get back from our trip," he replied. "We will have to figure out costs and where they will stay but I think with our friends and family help with that we can make it work. But Katie, we have to be realistic in that it's not as easy for them to leave their country as it is for us to leave ours."

"I know but we have to try, right?"

"We will definitely try," he said as he kissed her cheek.

"When we are done here is there anything else we need to do before I get ready for bed?" She was feeling the emotional toils of the day take hold on her.

"Yeah. I need a shower."

"I'm so sorry Callen. I forgot about your shower," Katie said as she propped his leg up on the small stool from the deck. He sat on the built-in seat of their shower. Katie decided to strip as well since she would be the one holding the shower nozzle.

"Warm enough?" she asked as the water cascaded down his back and away from his plastic wrapped leg.

"Yes. Six days of this, eh?" he mumbled as he carefully soaped up his arms before Katie rinsed it away.

They continued slowly so as not to get water running down his leg. It was a pain in the ass but rushing it could lead to water getting on his wound and well, he didn't want that to happen so close to their trip.

"Thank you for helping me, that would have been even more challenging on my own," Callen said as he dried off and Katie finished up washing herself.

"You are welcome," she answered from under the stream of hot water.

"I'm going to change my bandage and get ready for bed."

"Okay, I'll be out shortly."

They made some hot tea and sat in the living room, relaxing and talking about whatever popped into their heads. These were some of their best conversations.

"We have to finish packing tomorrow. You know I can't leave it until we get home from dinner on Christmas Day."

"But I'm injured," Callen replied with a smirk.

"You just have to double check what you've done. I think you can handle that." She knew he was joking and would insist on lifting the suitcases into the taxi to show her he was still big and strong with striking blue eyes.