Seeking Solace – Ashes to Ashes
Chapter 3
"What makes or breaks us, ultimately is our attitude towards the things we cannot control"
Ultra Magnus entered the med bay. Against the concerns and objections of the infirmary staff, regarding the human being moved so soon, Gwen had been transferred to the Autobot med bay. Making it easier for the Autobot medical team to monitor her condition. The city commander was taken back in subtle surprise once he settled his optics upon the human. Seated in a basic wheelchair, placed in the centre of the medical birth was the Sparkmaster commander. Ultra Magnus could not remember a time seeing the human looking so frail. His spark ached in sympathy; perhaps it was best to wait.
Gwen looked up as the Autobot second-in-command entered, exhaustion clear on her face. Barely hiding how much she willed herself to remain conscious. The Sparkmasters sub commander, Eclipse stood close to the berth, concerned for her sister. Tired dark grey eyes met azure optics.
"Magnus." She greeted. Her voice quiet.
Ultra Magnus nodded in return. He could not trust his vocalizer to function without betraying his surprise. Uncertain if he could even ask what he must, questioning his decision to not wait for the human to fully recover.
The human glanced around the med bay, the majority of the visible medical berths were empty save for the resting form of the Chief Medical Officer, and the massive forms of Broadside and Sludge. Confusion slipped in among the exhaustion. The remaining medical officers were before her, Snarl taking scans and Scattershot recording the results. None of the nursing staff could be seen. No concern for watching over the remaining wounded were apparent.
Yet Ultra Magnus arrived alone.
"Where's Rodimus?"
The expressions on the others faces changed in a multitude of reactions and emotion. Surprise, pain, sorrow and uncertainty. Ultra Magnus too could not keep his expression from shifting. It seemed none had been prepared for that question. The blonde woman's expression shifted from confusion to concern; fear tinting the edges of the look in her eyes.
"Sol..." Eclipse tried to speak. Her vocalizer crackled with static, unable to say more. Looking away to hide a pained expression.
Realisation began to dawn. Searching the faces of the others for any other answer. Her eyes pleading that what she thought could not be true.
"Rodimus Prime had fallen in battle." Ultra Magnus too did not wish his words to be true.
Pale as she already were, colour drained from Gwen's face. Her eyes glistened as tears built up. A quiet sob escaped her lips.
"No..." she whispered.
"Gwendolynn," Magnus began. "I am aware that it may be too much to ask so soon, as you are recovering."
The human looked to him with despair and defeat in her eyes. Her silence prompting the large mech to continue.
"Do you know what became of the Matrix?"
Confusion returned, giving a reprieve from her mournful expression. Then one in deep thought as the human recalled the events of the battle. Then an expression Ultra Magnus could not immediately identify. As if the human could not decide on an emotion. Confusion, anger, concern and panic seem to appear at once.
"I don't know," was the quiet reply. "I can't remember."
"What do you remember?" Scattershot asked.
Gwen thought for a moment. "I remember firing at Kryax, and Turbine acting as a distraction; while I went to Rodimus." A sob escaped as she mentally relived that moment, her face twisted in horror. "He was badly wounded, losing so much energon."
"He was dying, I wanted to help," she continued. "I tried to help...I..." The woman's breathing shuddered, fighting to get her emotions under control. She could not recall beyond seeing the Prime's wounds, nor how the battle had come to an end. Everything was black. "I can't remember anything."
Bent forward in the wheelchair, Gwen cried into her hands. I failed.
Ultra Magnus almost regret having asked the human to remember the events of the battle. Having not meant to cause distress as a nightmare replayed in her mind. Snarl and Scattershot stood helpless as even after centuries of being around humans they still did not know what to do. Eclipse cupped a hand behind Gwen, the size difference making it difficult to give comfort beyond that simple gesture.
It was quiet for a while as Gwen was allowed to cry. Soon the muted sobbing ebbed away as the woman composed herself. Her breathing shuddered.
"So." Her voice croaked. Her face wet with spilt tears she cleared her throat. "So no one knows what happened."
"Unfortunately reinforcements arrived too late," Ultra Magnus confessed. "I am afraid I had hoped once you awoke, you would been able to fill in the gaps in our Intel."
"You mean the whereabouts of the Matrix."
"Yes."
Once again confusion graced the human's face. "How long have I been unconscious?"
"You have been in a coma for almost a week." Eclipse answered, removing her hand from behind Gwen. Standing to her full height.
"But..." Gwen was a loss for words.
She knew she had been wounded during the battle. Superficial wounds at the most. Her transtector having received the most damage, forcing her to abandon it. The lost memories from after going to Rodimus Prime's aid confused her. What had happened?
Gwen broke her own train of thought as she caught Eclipse's expression. Curiosity got the better of her when her sister attempted to hide it. "What aren't you telling me?"
Again uneasiness filled the room. The quick glances between the two medics and Ultra Magnus' uncharacteristic silence rose her suspicion. Gwen didn't know whether to be concerned or annoyed that no one seemed to want to answer her.
"Someone better talk." She gave a pointed look to the teal coloured femme, who avoided it. "Jennicka..."
Eclipse cycled a sigh of air.
"When we brought you back to New Iacon, your heart had stopped." The femme said. Her voice grew quiet. "You died on route."
That she wasn't expecting. "What?"
"Once Sky lynx had landed you were immediately rushed into the infirmary with the attempt of reviving you." Scattershot spoke up. It was how he spoke that gave the impression there was something else, something he was hesitating to elaborate.
"But..?" Gwen Prompt.
"They couldn't do anything." Eclipse's voice wavered. "A power surge went through the infirmary and knocked out all the equipment; by the time they were to have it sorted out...it would have been too late."
Gwen's surprised expression was to be expected. It quickly gave way to confusion as clearly she was in fact among the living. "Then...how am I alive?"
"We not know," said Snarl. "Heart start all on it own."
"What caused the surge?"
"The energy spike that knocked out the equipment had affected a large area around the infirmary." Scattershot taking over the explaining from the Dinobot whose explanatory vocabulary was limited. "Our scans showed that you were within the epicentre."
Pieces clicked together. Blanks filling in as she finally understood why Ultra Magnus questioned her.
"The Matrix." It wasn't a question. "You think it might have caused it."
"Once we had you stable, your body showed signs of undue stress yet with no visible outside cause." Scattershot said. "You had remained in a coma since then."
"Is it even possible that I might have it?" Gwen asked. "I'm human."
Ultra Magnus vented a sigh. "We do not know."
"Is there any way we can know for sure?"
"The power surge was the only clue we had." Scattershot answered. "Scans and tests have all come back negative for the Matrix' energy signature."
"It's possible then that my heart starting and the power surge was coincidence" the blonde woman questioned. "I may not even have the Matrix at all."
"Yes." Answered the Technobot commander.
Gwen remained silent, trying to get her head around the idea that she may have been given the Autobot relic. Still unable to remember those last moments of the battle. The last moments with Rodimus Prime. All she received were more questions than answers.
Eclipse spoke up. "Let's say she does have the Matrix, does that mean she is a Prime?"
The question earned a panic look from the human. The thought having not crossed her mind. Fortunately for her it was a question the city commander could answer.
"Not all who carry the Matrix becomes Prime," Ultra Magnus explained, having personally experienced firsthand. "Traditionally those that carry it lead the Autobots in place of a Prime or until one is chosen."
That didn't seem to help. The human looking helpless at the idea of her being the next Autobot leader.
"We..." Gwen swallowed and tried again to speak, her voice wavered slightly. "We don't know for sure that I even have it."
"Affirmative." Said Magnus.
Snarl became thoughtful, trying to pull and old memory from his processor. "Me remember, him, Ratchet, say him, Optimus Prime gave Matrix to a human." Said the Dinobot. "To hide it from Decepticons."
Neither Ultra Magnus nor Scattershot could confirm the Dinobot's words. This clearly had been before they arrived, Scattershot especially as he never known Ratchet.
"Other Autobots not know human have Matrix." Snarl continued, "Matrix become energy and merged with him; caused trouble before him, Optimus, took Matrix back."
"Buster Witwicky." Ultra Magnus having recalled reading a data file regarding that incident.
From what he could remember from the file, the city commander explained that not long after the Autobots and Decepticons had awoke on Earth, the Decepticons invaded the Mount St Hilary base; capturing Optimus Prime. Megatron had been after the Matrix to create new Decepticons, having dismantled the Prime in the process. Buster, who had been with the group of Autobots returning to base and being so much smaller than the Autobots, sneaked inside. He had found Optimus in the sorry state Megatron left the Autobot leader in.
In desperation Optimus charged the boy with protecting the ancient relic. After merging with the human the Matrix has become undetectable. The file mentioning that Buster had moments when he could not control the Matrix' energy.
"It would explain the power surge." Scattershot said thoughtfully. "Restarting Gwen's heart may have been a defence mechanism within the Matrix to protect itself."
"What happens now?" Gwen asked, still unable to believe the idea she may have the Matrix of Leadership. "How can we know for sure I was given the Matrix?"
No one answered. Unfortunately anyone that had experience with the Matrix and how it affects organic life had been lost to the wars over the centuries. Ultra Magnus particularly was unsure if the human indeed did have the relic and if the need rose, how they would separate it from her.
For the moment there was very little they could do.
"Let's leave things as they are for now." The city commander said having caught the human fail to hide a yawn. Her exhaustion further evident having let down her guard, or perhaps she could no longer hide it.
Until it was confirmed that the Matrix has been passed, Magnus felt it best to assume the Decepticons had it in their possession. Unable to predict Kryax' motives or reasoning behind his desire for the symbol of the Primes, they should prepare for the worse. Whatever that may come to be.
"Get some rest," Magnus said to Gwen. "Should you remember anything else from the battle; report it to me at once."
Gwen nodded. Caught in another yawn.
With that Ultra Magnus nodded to the others before exiting the med bay. Leaving the medics to do final scans and test on the human before transferring her to a more human accommodating medical berth. Eclipse remaining to be with her sister. For the city commander there were far too much to do, his own rest will be put off as long as he is physically able.
It was dawn on the second day since Gwen awoke. The sun just reaching about the mountain peaks of the valley. A mix of lavender and blue as clouds tinges with orange and pinks dotted the sky. New Iacon city sparkled in the early morning light. A soft breeze caressed the buildings, cool from the night before slowly warming in the sunlight. Bringing with it the scent of wild flowers blooming in the valley.
The near sleepless city already bustling in the early hour. Traffic filling the streets. Yet even with the morning activity, the city was quiet. An unnatural silence hung in the air.
A break in the clouds drew a strong beam of the rising sunlight upon the air strip. Primed ready for takeoff, a subtle hum of the engines as they warmed up. The tarmac was abnormally crowded with citizens of the city. Quietly watching as one by one the shuttle was loaded with its mournful cargo. Massive caskets in the terms of the smaller organic citizens, draped with the Earth-Cybertron flags. Carried respectively by other Autobots.
There was no ceremony, no intention to become such a spectacle. An honour and an unfortunate task given to those carrying the fallen onto the shuttle. Many of the casket bearers will be remaining on board the shuttle for the journey to lay friends and comrades to their eternal rest. While others remain, continuing the search for the Decepticons and preparing for whatever may come.
Overseeing the loading of the shuttle across from the crowd stood ultra Magnus, Star Saber, and Victory Leo, quietly conversing. Ultra Magnus would be accompanying the crew to the mausoleum. In his stead he leave Victory Leo as acting city commander. The three commanders briefed each other flight plans, Star Saber captaining the shuttle, and preparing the acting city commander for the headache of overseeing a populous.
The quiet murmur of the crowd paying respect to the fallen, died down as the familiar bugle played out by a lone trumpet. A slow melody, one giving the impression that the brass horn too mourned the dead. Not a soul spoke. Tears freely fell, metallic faces fought to maintain stoic expressions, some often unable to hide sorrowful emotions. Perhaps a blessing that Cybertronians could not physically cry as organics could, and yet a curse for they could not truly express the pain of losing their friends.
A bag pipe now joined the trumpet, as the last of the caskets were load onto the shuttle. All eyes on the very last casket, carried by six unit commanders. Followed by many others as escort.
Rodimus Prime, the last to be place aboard giving his troops under his command priority. The first to be laid to rest.
"Looks to be your cue," Victory Leo said. "I'll make sure the city is still standing when you return."
"Is that from Kryax or an antsy Sparkmaster without her transtector?" The city commander's attempt as light humour drew chuckles from the other two.
"Don't worry, Magnus," Star Saber's jovial reply. "I'll have you back in five planet rotations, given solar storms."
"Save travel." Victory Leo bid the two farewell.
Ultra Magnus fell into step with the escorts of the final casket, following the Prime on board. Star Saber sharing a final bit of humour with his fellow commander as he too followed behind. With a silent signal the low hum of primed engines roared to life. The last of the Prime's escorts exit the shuttle remaining behind.
The shuttle bay door rose to seal off the cargo hold. The crowd quickly dispersing and soon enough it was as if it had not been there. A few remained a safe distance as the shuttle slowly began its way down the air strip. A squadron of flyers and EDC jets joined the shuttle as it rose up into the sky, heading for the outer atmosphere. The escort stayed with the shuttle until they could fly no higher. Pulling away returning to the City, leaving the shuttle to itself for the rest of the journey out of the Solar system.
Along the large windows facing the runways were dotted by those who didn't join the crowd outside. Farthest window, sitting in the shade of a nearby tower, Gwen watched the procession. Though having had two days of rest the Sparkmaster commander continued to look exhausted. It would be a while yet until she is cleared for active duty.
Bound to wheelchair, the blonde woman distanced herself. Given temporary leave from the med bay, with hope to help with her mood. It was no secret that she disliked remaining hospitalised. Sitting among the small crowd staring out at the space port view windows, Gwen watched as one by one the fallen Autobots were placed aboard the shuttle. Her heart clenched in guilt as she could see the casket carrying the body of Rodimus Prime. She never looked away even for a moment. She stays as the shuttle takes off, not moving until Jennicka, in a rare moment being without her transtector while wearing her exosuit, joined the other woman.
"Here you are." Said the younger blonde woman.
Gwen barely made a noise in acknowledgement. Jennicka sighing in defeat.
"Every time you're forced to use your chair you're like this," Jennicka complained. "It's not the end of the world you know."
"That's debatable."
Jennicka rolled her eyes. Grabbing the push handles of the wheelchair she decided enough was enough. Receiving no complaint from her elder sister.
"Alright, let's go to the barracks then."
"Sure." Gwen responded. Allowing her sister to push the chair along the hallways. Still haven't recovered much of her strength. There had yet to be anything else she could recall from the previous battle.
The two remained in silence as they made their way through the fortress. Occasionally greeting Autobots and other residents passing by. Reaching the Sparkmaster barracks Gwen's mood had lightened. Unable to hold back a small smile as she was warmly welcomed by the rest of her team. Massive forms of the other Sparkmasters greeted her. All happy to see their commander out and about, all of them having been worried for her. The size difference reminding Gwen why she disliked being separated from her transtector, which still had yet to be fully repaired.
The barracks filled with laughter and conversation, creating a much needed jovial mood. The still recovering Sparkmaster commander all but forgetting her exhaustion. Admitting to herself that her sister had been right to give her a change in atmosphere. This was a dose of medicine she needed. Spending a time with friends.
But it was short lived. Only a few hours after being back with her team, Gwen's mood soured. Klaxons rang through the base, a call to arms.
The Decepticons have come out of hiding, once again drawing the Autobots to war.
The Sparkmasters reacted immediately to the roll call, only to hesitate. Realising one of them would be left behind. Their unit commander would not be joining them.
"Give them Hell." Gwen said. Sitting straight in her chair turning it to face the others. "If you can't return in one piece, at least come back alive."
"Sparkmasters move out." Jennicka ordered, taking command in her sister's place.
The sub commander quickly merged with her transtector. Transforming from vehicle mode. Standing upright, chest plating shifting to cover what would have been the spark chamber of a Cybertronian. The heavy plating housing and shielding the form of the Sparkmaster.
"Get some rest." Eclipse said to Gwen before following the others.
"Right, sure." Gwen drawled. Resting was all she has been doing.
Left to herself, Gwen was uneasy, anxious. She wasn't concerned for her team, they would take care of themselves and each other. Something within her wanting to join the others, to be there meeting Kryax head on. She glared into the empty space as a single thought rose from deep within her mind. She was not sure if it were her own or something else. One thing was for sure.
She should be going.