You Want Who P2
Awkward Conversations.
All I own is a battered old PC and this funny idea. The rest belongs to J. K. and Jim.
Severus Snape was happy. Well, as happy as he ever was. Severus was a bitter man caught between two Masters, and they were slowly pulling him apart. But for now he was alone in his private lab deep beneath Hogwarts carefully tinkering with his latest potions experiment. The Dunderheads were all home for the holidays and it was quiet and peaceful in the hallowed halls of Hogwarts. Even Peeves had been quiet.
Really, Severus thought later, he should have known it was too good to last.
Within his lab a chime rang, a cuckoo bird's cry he'd set just for the Headmaster. Sighing, he placed his potion in stasis and left his lab. There was no point in ignoring Albus. The venerable Headmaster would know he was there from his connection to the school's wards, and if he didn't open the door Albus would come in anyway to 'check' on him. In fairness, it had been needed more then once since Voldemort's return. He still loved the Crucio, and didn't seem nearly as concerned with his Potion Master's continued ability to brew these days.
Opening the door to his boss and mentor, Severus knew he was up to something. He had a bottle of Elven wine, a plate of Molly Weasley's shortbread squares and that thrice-damned twinkle seemed to be going at mega-wattage.
"Severus, my dear boy..."
Oh yeah. He definitely wanted something. Severus moved back slowly, resisting his first urge to banish his boss from his room, cast the strongest locking charms on his door and just hide under his bed. "Albus. What do you want?"
Dumbledore tried for innocence then gave it up as a bad job. Severus knew him too well.
"It's been brought to my attention that the basilisk Mr. Potter killed is rather going to waste beneath the school, and I must confess, Severus, I would very much like to explore the chamber. I doubt Tom would have left anything there, but surely the basilisk would be well worth spending an afternoon with Mr. Potter?"
Never had Severus Snape felt so conflicted. He'd lain awake many a night, tormented by the idea of all those lovely basilisk parts going to waste. However he had point blank refused to offer that boy help to harvest it. Now the headmaster was literally paving the way for him. Even the junior Potter was tolerable for basilisk parts. There had to be a catch. And not just having to deal with Potter an extra few hours.
He folded his arms and stared at his boss. Albus fidgeted and refused to meet his eyes. Severus raised one eyebrow.
" You're trying to butter me up. I am not getting the Defense position, again, am I." He said this last flatly, as a statement not a question. "Who did you hire? I know it isn't the mutt, he's still wanted by the Ministry." Snape indulged in a satisfied smirk at the thought. "Lupin won't come back. He has to dog sit. Not that he could now. So, who is it?"
"Now, my boy, it's nothing to worry about..."
"Who is it Albus?"
"I had no choice, Severus. Cornelius was going to send Dolores Umbridge."
"That vile woman? To spy, I suppose?"
"Yes. Not very subtle but that was never Cornelius' strong suit."
Severus sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "So, who's the poor sap you suckered into the position this time?"
Albus chuckled. "A few minutes ago you seemed upset because you weren't that poor sap."
"I can't deny the idea of letting the curse finally free me from this place isn't tempting" Severus acknowledged. "But I'd like to live, at least a bit longer. I still have things to do. And stop avoiding the subject. Who?"
"I-hired-Harry-Dresden." Albus said this very fast, the words blurring into one. Severus blinked. Then he stared.
"Have you lost your mind?! Dresden?! You hired Harry Dresden?! The man is a bloody lunatic!"
"Now, Severus, he's more then qualified..."
"Oh, he's qualified! At unleashing complete chaos! Merlin's staff and balls, Albus!" Severus sank into his chair and dropped his head into his hands. Then to Albus' shock, he started laughing.
"Severus? Whatever is so funny?" Dumbledore was suddenly worried. Severus never laughed. Had he been cursed somehow? Bespelled?
"Oh Merlin's beard! Albus... Dresden? Here? The Pureblood will never survive! Bahahahaha!" Tears began leaking down Severus' cheeks as he held his sides and laughed harder at his boss' expression.
Albus just stared at his Potions Master nonplussed. After a few moments, Severus regained his composure.
"I believe, Albus, that young Mr. Malfoy, and likely his father, are going to have a very bad year." Severus smirked. He'd long wished he could take the Malfoy heir over his knee. He'd privately thought the ferret episode well-deserved, but in his role as spy he had to pander to the little snot. Despite countless in-house detentions Draco still was more Gryffindor than Slytherin in his inability to shut his mouth. Severus thought the coming year might actually be educational to many of his young Snakes. At the very least, it would be entertaining.
Even some days later Severus was still grinning. It was such a terrifying sight that Peeves, who'd been cruising the halls, had fled screaming from the dungeons after coming upon the Potion Master unexpectedly. It would be three weeks before the Baron could coax him out of the Suit of Armour he'd hidden in. Most of his colleagues had taken to avoiding him even more then usual, the persistent grin was downright creepy. Severus was too busy entertaining thoughts of the 'Mad Wizard Dresden' facing off against his old Master to even notice. Not to mention that, after a very brief encounter with Potter, lasting no more than fifteen minutes, he and Dumbledore had had unfettered access to the Chamber of Secrets and - more importantly to Severus - several thousand pounds of prime basilisk parts. The cold of the chamber had preserved it all but intact. Potter had taken one quick look, gone pale and politely asked to leave. Severus would have sneered at the boy, but as he looked at the immense carcass, he really could not blame him for not wanting to hang around. The beast had almost killed him and Ms. Weasley both after all. Dumbledore had cast some charms to keep the Chamber open and returned the boy to the Dursleys. Severus had gotten lost in his harvesting, in between exploring the gigantic cavern system hosting the Chamber. For Severus, it was a very good Summer. Made even better by his Master's determination to hide from the Ministry and lay low.
*** Dresden's POV***
I slammed into my little basement apartment swearing sulfurous under my breath. Stupid, Stupid Harry! As usual I had not looked before I leaped. Not thought things through. My old mentor had asked me to do him a favor. And, like an idiot, I had said yes, of course. Before finding out what said favor was. Because I am an idiot.
Stomping down into my sub-basement lab, I flicked on my candles with an angry snarl and shouted, "Bob! Wake up"
On a plain wooden shelf jumbled with romance novels, a bleached white skull rattled, amber light kindling in the eye sockets. Bob parodied a yawn before snapping his bony jaw shut and staring hard at me.
"Boss... what's wrong?", he asked, cautiously. Bob knew me too well.
I growled and stomped about a bit. "I'm an idiot. That's what's wrong."
Bob sighed. "Well, I know that. But what is wrong?"
I dropped onto my stool and stared at the skull.
"I just got done with a Council meeting." The skull tilted slightly. "Seems like the British Wanded Wizards are having problems. I haven't heard much about them, what can you tell me?"
Bob hummed. "Plenty." He said. "They're even more secretive than we are. Live in tiny pocket communities hidden from the normals. Have a different governing body, different rules. And their magic is quite a bit different. More structured, restricted and constrained with specifically-worded spells and wand movements to get the job done. Personally I think it makes them more lazy. They use their magic for just about everything." Bob sniffed. "They call the Normals Muggles, and the new blood to their world are called Muggleborns by the polite, Mudbloods by the ruder ones, and are regularly treated as interlopers. They don't get any of the good jobs, struggle to make good marriages, that sort of thing. They usually leave the Wizarding world as soon as they graduate. Dumorne studied their ways, but left to study with the Council. They keep to themselves, don't cause too much trouble mostly. Unless they have a Dark Lord or Lady pop up, but that has only happened twice in the past century. Why do you ask?"
"Ebenezer wants me to head to Britain. Needs me to take up a teaching post in some school there. His sources say some Dark Lord has shown up again."
Bod's skull turned to face me more fully. The eye sockets grew much brighter. "And you said yes?"
"Well I didn't know what I'd be doing when I said yes. Ebenezer just asked me for a favor!" I protested. The skull rapted itself against the wall.
"Harry. You idiot! The only school they have is Hogwarts! And the only job there you could possibly do is Defense Against the Dark Arts!"
"Hogwarts? Hogwarts? Who in their right mind names a school after a Swine skin complaint! And what's wrong with the job? I can teach the kids to protect themselves against most of the boogedy-boos out there."
Bob sighed, "Rumor has it the position is cursed. There hasn't been a teacher last past a year, and two or three have actually died! And if the Dark Lord you mentioned is who I think it is, you're in trouble."
I eyed the skull. "Explain please?", I asked, a sinking feeling in my stomach.
One hour, and one insane story about a power crazy, powerful wizard with a bunch of equally vicious followers, bent on world domination, one exceptionally lucky, (or unlucky depending on your point of view) kid and a whole lot of adults doing nothing later and I was feeling even more stupid. What had my old mentor gotten me into?
One thing for sure, if this 'Voldemort' character was back, and wanted to hurt the kids in the school, I was going to stop him. It was my job after all, I was a Warden now. But I'd have done it anyway. Voldemort and his "Death-Eaters" were Warlocks bent on hurting others for their own gain and amusement. At the end of the day, I wouldn't stand for that. I couldn't.
Props once more to my fantastic editor, 6Q4 Ninja! You're the best:-)