Chapter 15
I woke with a start, sitting up and trying to catch my breath. I glanced over to the other side of the bed where Edward was sleeping soundly. I lay back down, thankful it was just a dream as I curled up against him. Even though I knew he was safe next to me, tears flowed down my cheeks with the visions fresh in my mind.
As I closed my eyes, I could still see it. He hadn't come back to me. I heard my own screams in my head and felt bile rise in my throat as I stared at his bloodied and beaten body. They'd left him for me to find as a warning.
As much as I wanted him to get closure, I wasn't sure I could continue to pretend I was even remotely okay with him killing someone or being involved with either gang. There were better, less dangerous ways to go about it. Ways that wouldn't take him from me.
I felt his arms wrap around me, pulling me snug against his chest. "Why are you crying?" His voice was rough with sleep.
I swallowed around the lump in my throat. "Bad dream."
"I got you, mami. You're okay." He kissed the top of my head and I felt the tears start to fall quicker. He was guarded, crude, hot tempered, and he also loved to push my buttons. Admittedly, I enjoyed it when he did. But there were times he showed me such tenderness it took my breath away. It was all the more reason I couldn't imagine losing him.
"You wanna talk about it?"
"You didn't come back. They killed you. Marcos or Royce, I don't know who, but they killed you, and they left you for meto find."
He sighed, shifting us so that we sat up. "That's not gonna happen."
"You don't know that! What if they're all working together and setting you up?"
His eyes hardened as he drew in a deep breath. "They're not. Are you saying you don't trust my judgment?"
"What I'm saying is that I don't trust them! You've been set up before, why not now? Edward, please," I begged. "There are other ways."
"No. It was just a stupid dream, Bella." With that, he ended the conversation, throwing the covers off and climbing out of bed.
I felt my heart clench, watching as he left the room. I knew it would be a battle to get him to listen to me on this. Especially when I'd initially agreed with him. I'd had hopes I could change his mind, eventually. But now, I was sure he was feeling betrayed by me. I couldn't just sit back and watch as he killed himself, though.
For the second time that morning, my eyes filled with tears. I gathered the few items I had strewn about his room. When—if—he needed me, he knew where to find me.
—
It had been a couple of hours since I'd left without a word. I hadn't expected him to chase me down once he'd noticed I'd gone, but there was a small part of me that had hoped he would, anyway. He was stubborn and prideful, though, and I knew he wouldn't give in easily, if at all.
My heart leaped in my chest as my phone rang, even though I knew it wouldn't be him. Edward didn't call. He burst into houses calling out for you, or he pounded on your door until you relented. He had a cellphone, but I'd only seen him use it a handful of times. Mostly to call his mother or when his parole officer contacted him.
Instead, it was Angela. It had been weeks since I'd seen her. She knew I hadn't followed her advice to keep away from Edward. Her father was in the police force with Charlie, and they were known to gossip about their daughters. For a moment I thought about avoiding her, but in the end, I decided it would be better to be in her company than moping by myself. So I answered, agreeing to meet her for lunch.
—
I walked into the restaurant, spotting Angela and taking the seat opposite of her. She crossed her arms over her chest, narrowing her eyes at me.
I fidgeted in my seat nervously. "So, how's the wedding planning coming along?"
Angela raised an eyebrow at me. "Really? You want to talk about wedding planning? Not about how you're dating Edward Cullen? Bella, he's been to prison— "
"Yes, I'm aware." I sighed, sitting back in my chair. I wasn't sure if it was even worth arguing with her. Especially since I didn't know where I stood with him after this morning. "Angela, you know better than to judge a book by its cover. Just because he's been to prison doesn't make him a terrible person. Everyone messes up."
"I know, but—"
"Ang, seriously." I rolled my eyes. "If Ben went to prison because he made a stupid mistake, would you love him any less? Would you hold it against him forever?"
She shook her head, looking chastised. "No, you're right. I just want to make sure you're making the right decision, but I don't even know him. My dad did say that Charlie was actually kind of surprised by him, so I guess that's something."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Charlie said he seemed to really care about you. You deserve that no matter who it is. I'll try better to not judge him."
I gave her a sad smile. "Thanks. I hope that's still true. We kind of had it out this morning and, well, I have no clue where we're at now."
She covered my hand with hers. "Couples fight, Bella. Ben and I fight all the time about the stupidest things, but that doesn't mean it's over."
"You're right. Can we talk about something happier? Where are you at with the wedding planning? Do you need any help?"
She grinned at me before diving into all the details they had decided on so far.
—
It was late in the evening by the time I left Angela. We sat and talked about the wedding for a long while before drifting back to my relationship with Edward.
My cheeks heated as I thought about how shocked I was when she asked if he was as good in bed as she'd imagined. I'd nodded and we'd burst into giggles before continuing to gossip.
I was lost in my thoughts as I pulled out my keys to unlock my door, and then suddenly I felt him behind me.
"Where the hell have you been?" he growled.
"Excuse me?" I turned around, glaring at him.
"For the last two fuckin' hours, I've been waiting for you to come home. I've been worried as fuck about you."
"So you can worry about me, but I can't worry about you? It doesn't matter where I've been," I snapped, pushing my door open.
He followed behind me. "What do you want from me, Bella? You knew going into—"
"Alive! I want you alive," I choked out. "I love you, Edward. I need you with me."
He stopped in his tracks, his eyes wide as he stared at me. "You love me?"
"Yeah," I whispered. "Yeah, I love you."
My heart pounded in my chest as I waited for him to respond. I hadn't planned to tell him so soon, but I could only hope he felt the same way.
Maybe it would even be enough for him to consider a new plan.