Welcome back to Ignitus' Wisdom! Today, we're going in for some hectic Melee, as the first fighter introduced in the second Smash Bros game enters the arena. That being, Princess Peach. So let's not waste a moment!
Spyro: If it isn't the Mushroom Kingdom's perennially absent monarch.
Ignitus: You're fighting Peach I take it.
Spyro: The one and only.
Ignitus: You seem... oddly critical of Peach, Spyro. What's going on?
Spyro: Not trying to blame the victim here but, don't you think someone in the Mushroom Kingdom would implement better security for their monarch after she's been kidnapped no fewer than a dozen times? If not her, then at least one of her advisers, Toadsworth for example, probably should by this point. And speaking of Toads, why are they in so many of her moves? I've seen them in at least seven, one even involving spraying spores if hit for some reason.
Ignitus: What are you suggesting?
Spyro: I don't know. Is she just hiring Bowser to kidnap her over and over again to satisfy some strange paraphilia? Are the Toads some sort of parasitic fungus bound to her will? Something seems rotten in the state of the Mushroom Kingdom, and no amount of cake can get me to look the other way.
Ignitus: (Startled) Wow.
Spyro: Again, not blaming the victim, just pointing out the strange details. That's all I'm trying to say. Though I will say if the image she's going for is grace and regality to the point of foppishness, go right ahead. I won't stop you.
Ignitus: I can see where you're coming from, young dragon. It is kind of odd. But ultimately, not why we're here.
Spyro: Good point, guess I got sidetracked in conspiracies.
Ignitus: It happens. Anyways, when fighting Peach, one of her primary attack forms is throwing vegetables at you. Bizarre I know. But when she's in the air, she can't throw anything. And watch out for her Final Smash, or you'll be out fast asleep before you know what hit you.
Spyro: Duly noted. Let's see if she lives up to the legends.