Chapter Eight

Trigger Warnings: None

⸻ Line Break ⸻

Notes upfront:

-Please let me know which (up to) five characters MUST survive this fic according to you. I will use your answers to decide the actual ending. So, if you want to have a hand in the ending of this story: please do tell me your five.

-No happy ending is ever guaranteed, and especially not in this story. Certain characters are written the way they are because I want you to have a certain reaction to them. Some characters will have growth, others will not. Some characters will survive, and others will not.

-I am trying to portray this as historically correct as I can, without compromising the storytelling. Nevertheless, I cannot promise that I won't and haven't made mistakes with this one. I write from a place of feeling and I am hoping that you'll read from that place too, with respect towards history, but with focus on the story and how it makes you feel.

-Shorter chapters (under 3k words) and more updates, or longer chapters (over 3k words) and fewer updates? Let me know.

Without further ado, let's get on with the chapter.

⸻ Line Break ⸻

That evening, they had not managed to break the little bird out of her cage, but they had planted a seed that they hoped would come to fruition. By the end of the evening, she had danced with her friends, but the ball was in her court now. She had to make the choice.

At some point during the evening, Jack and Rose had both disappeared, and it didn't go particularly unnoticed. Caledon, the self-obsessed prick, even sent his manservant after the two of them, undoubtedly suspecting that something was going on right under his nose that he wasn't aware of. Ruth, of course, played her role.

And although she supported her daughter in all her endeavours because she wanted her to be happy, she wondered if this was the right way to go for Rose. As a mother, she was concerned about her daughter cavorting with steerage people, but she also recognised that Rose needed to make her own choices and learn from them, and that as a mother it was her job to be there when her girl needed her.

Life as a woman is never easy, and Rose would have to learn that the hard way. As such, in a way, she had hoped that Rose would've made the same choice Regina had made. Make the best out of a loveless marriage, just so she could have an easy life where she never had to worry about staying alive. But looking at what the situation was doing to the younger Mills woman, Ruth knew that that was never going to happen and that encouraging it would only make things worse.

Being happy with where you're at in life is just as important. And neither of the girls was happy. So, they had to get out. Even if that meant cavorting with steerage people. Ruth even found that, during the night, as she spoke with the young boy, these people had a certain way of going about life that people like her could only envy.

It seemed easier to enjoy life as a poor person because you counted every happy moment and felt grateful for it. They didn't keep their mouths shut, they said what they thought. Nevertheless, she shuddered at the thought of giving up what she had. She still craved the easiness of the rich life. But she would gladly give it all up if it meant her Rose would be happy, because loving someone is being able to put them first.

There were other ways for the DeWitt Bukaters to be happy and stay alive. But right now, she could only hope that Rose wasn't up to anything too foolish because they still had to please Hockley until the ship docked in New York in four days.

⸻ Line Break ⸻

On the morning of the 14th of April, Regina awoke with a start. Something felt… off… somehow, but she couldn't pinpoint what. As she went to stretch her limbs, she realised that everything hurt. Then the memories of the night before returned, and she remembered getting punished for whatever transgressions she had made during the night by dancing with other people too.

Leo had been drunk and terrible company that night, but she hadn't had the strength to fight, or even scream. And she knew now that she had let them get to her. Any fight she'd had in her when boarding the ship, had evaporated in the last few days. She couldn't even be bothered to be angry with Eva anymore. At this rate, she would turn into her mother in no time. No anger, no fear, no hope for a better future.

Suddenly feeling ill, she crawled out from under him and ran for the lavatory. As soon as she was finished, she rinsed her hands with water in the adjoining bathroom and quickly grabbed one of her coats from the wardrobe room, before rushing out into the hallway through her own bedroom. Through the baized doors, around the grand staircase and into the portside hallway at the front of the ship.

She frantically knocked on the door to Ms Lucas' room, hoping that the woman was already awake. If she hadn't been barely able to breathe, she'd have called out for the other woman, but lord knew how wise a decision that would've been.

Thank goodness, luck seemed to be on her side today. Although she probably shouldn't think that too loudly.

Ruby Lucas took in the trembling young woman standing before her, still in her nightdress. "Oh dear. Regina, are you all right?"

The other woman just shook her head as tears streamed down her face and she practically collapsed in Ruby's waiting arms, sobbing uncontrollably.

Ruby closed the door behind them as she practically dragged Regina over to the bed, before forcing her to sit down on top of it. "Sh…" she hushed, trying to calm the other woman down.

"Just breathe," she said to her friend. "Go on, you can do it. In, out…" As seconds ticked by, she watched as Regina slowly started to calm down and look less like a deer caught in headlights. Her eyes were still bloodshot, but she looked less like a ghost and colour slowly returned to her cheeks.

"Okay, that's better now. Good girl. So, would you like to tell me what's going on? Should I get you anything?" Ruby prodded.

Regina just offered a weak smile. "I – I just had to get away. All of a sudden, I just felt sick and disgusted, and I just hate myself for letting them trap me. Aside from that, I had an ominous feeling when I woke up – as though something terrible was about to happen. And you were the only person I could think of going to without running the risk of having to explain myself to Mr Hockley or going outside in my sleeping garments…"

Ruby sighed and placed an arm around her friend. "Oh dear. Well, it's a good thing that you decided to trust me and come here, even if it's early in the morning. I would never turn you away. So, how was last night for you? Did you enjoy the party?"

The young woman chuckled softly when she began to recall the night before. "Well, I was flattered to say the least. I still cannot believe all of you went to such lengths to make me feel better. You do make it increasingly difficult for me to stay around my mother and Leopold though, because lord knows what would've happened if they'd found out about my association with Emma and Henry…" she trailed off, before her hands started to tremble again.

"I really enjoyed myself – at least for a little while. But it was absolute hell when the night was over. Not only had the party itself been overwhelming, but mother and Leo weren't particularly pleased that I had dared to dance with Henry, and…" her voice wavered, before a single tear slid down her face again, as she recalled the events just before she had fallen into a frightful sleep.

Ruby noticed how her friend didn't dare say Robins name but didn't comment on it. What mattered right now, was that Regina was hurting. Perhaps far more than any of them realised. The young woman had only danced with two other people than Leopold last night, and she had still gotten punished for it, as though she had behaved like a slut. Ridiculous.

"I am so sorry, Regina. But please, remember that all hope isn't lost. Life will get better, if you choose to believe that it can be."

Her friend just looked down, wiping away the stray tear. "Perhaps. If I actually had anywhere to go. So long as we're on this ship, they'll make my life a living hell if I am so much as seen with any of you. It's not like I can just get off this ship. And if I choose to leave upon arriving in New York, where would I go? There is nowhere I could go where they couldn't find me, and if against all odds I would somehow manage such a feat, I would never be able to see my father again. Either way, I lose. And if I don't choose – if I stay like this – it won't take long until I can give my mother a run for her money…"

Ruby sighed. Of course, Regina was going to be weighing the pros and cons of escaping the gilded cage she was trapped in. But the young woman was at least considering her options again. That in itself was already progress.

"Look," Ruby started. "I get that it's hard, and a difficult choice. Probably more difficult than I could possibly imagine. But please remember that you are not alone. There are so many people here who would do just about anything to help you."

Regina sighed heavily. "I know, Ruby, I know."

⸻ Line Break ⸻

That morning, Rose awoke alone. She'd been having fun with Jack last night and had gotten back late.

Now, she was due to have breakfast with Cal on their private promenade deck and she was not looking forward to it. Nevertheless, she would only have to keep up the charade a little longer – just until the ship docked in New York and then she could leave him behind.

By the time they were seated, and breakfast had been served, the tension could be cut with a knife. Did Cal know something?

A lascivious smile crossed his face, before it faded into a look of utter disappointment. "I had hoped you would come to me last night." Rose kept her face neutral. "I was tired."

"Yes. Your exertions with a certain Mr Dawson were no doubt exhausting. Who is he, and what is he to you?"

Rose refused to answer the question and stiffened. "I see you had that undertaker of a manservant follow me."

"Answer the question, Rose!"

She tensed and tilted her head upwards. "No, I don't think I will. I am not some foreman in your mills that you can command. I am your fiancée ⸻"

Cal's eyes spit fire as he swept everything off the table, towering over her as he trapped her. "My fiancée…Yes you are! And my wife. In practice, if not yet by law. So, you will honour me as a wife is required to honour her husband! I will not be made out a fool. Is that in any way unclear?!"

Rose shrank into the chair, willing to disappear from beneath his fiery gaze. Fortunately, Cal too noticed Trudy in the doorway and excused himself. "I'm so sorry, Trudy…" she muttered.

⸻ Line Break ⸻

With stars blazing overhead, they stumbled along the Boat Deck, singing "Come Josephine in my Flying Machine".

When they fumbled the words, they broke down laughing. Holding onto a davit as they heard the music of the orchestra gently wafting through the doors of the 1st Class entrance, Rose looked up to the cosmos on this dark starry night.

"Isn't it magnificent? So grand… and endless…" She wondered aloud, as she walked over toward the rail and leaned on it. "My people, Jack, they are such small people. They believe they are masters of the universe, when they're not even a speck of dust in God's eye. They… they live inside this tiny champagne bubble, and someday it's going to burst."

Jack leaned on the rail next to her, and he touched her hand. For that moment it feels as though this small amount of contact makes the rest of the world disappear.

"You're not one of them, Rose," he said. "There's been a mistake."

She had frowned. "A mistake?"

"Yes. You got mailed to the wrong address."

She had chuckled then. "I did, didn't I?" And just as she said that, a shooting star crossed overheads. "Look! A shooting star!" She had said giddily.

A look she couldn't describe crossed Jack's face. "That was a long one. My father used to say that whenever you saw one, it was a soul crossing into heaven."

"That's beautiful," she whispered into the darkness of the night. "Should we wish on it?"

He looked at her then, and suddenly he was very close. "What would you wish for?" He asked.

She didn't miss a beat. "That this," she placed her hand on his face and looked into his eyes longingly, "could last forever." Then before he got a chance to respond, she withdrew.

"I should be getting back," she said, before hurrying through the doors of the 1st Class entrance, leaving Jack behind.

⸻ Line Break ⸻

Unfortunately for Regina, she did have to go back to her staterooms to actually change into daywear. Which meant facing Leopold and her mother, who were undoubtedly going to be angry with her for running off. Even though there were only so many places she could've been on this ship.

Fortunately, she didn't see anyone on her way back, because that would've been embarrassing. She knew that her mother and Leo must be awake by now, so she didn't try to be quiet when she returned.

"And where have you been?" Leo roared when he noted her return. She flinched, suddenly unable to find the proper words, let alone speak. "Answer me!"

Suddenly, she felt anger bubble up to the surface and her hands itched to claw him, but that would only make things worse. Yet, she had to get this out. "I had a panic attack! I needed a breath of fresh air – I was suffocating!" He made to interrupt, probably to scold her about going out without getting dressed first or whatever. "No. For once you're going to let me finish what I have to say. I couldn't breathe, so I had to get away. You may want to keep me locked in this gilded cage you built, but can't you see that it's killing me? At this rate, I'll be dead before you can reap the benefits of this arrangement in the first place!"

His eyes widened in shock, and then pain followed. She tried her best to cover it up, but it was difficult. After a tense and silent breakfast, they had headed for the dining saloon on D-deck to attend the divine service.

Captain Jones crossed her gaze and looked at her with something akin to pity – or maybe it was sympathy. She didn't know anymore. Desperately, she tried to hold on as they sang Almighty Father Strong to Save. As she looked to her right, she saw Ruby, Ruth, Rose and Hockley standing together in the middle of the group. She longed to join them but was prevented from doing so by Leopold and her mother, who flanked her on either side.

Her mother's cold gaze prevented her from doing anything other than she was supposed to. When she had looked into the mirror that morning, she had noticed her gaunt appearance, almost ghost-like, and her hands had trembled as she had applied her make-up. She felt hollow, hopeless, and everything hurt.

Then, when the service was over and she dutifully followed her mother and Leopold, someone tugged at her sleeve. Henry.

"What are you doing here?" She hissed.

"Showing you the possibilities," he smiled. And she wondered how he got so patient. How he knew exactly how to deal with her without even trying. She could never tell this little boy no.

So, despite her urge to protest and better judgment, she let him lead her down to E-Deck. Where, of course, Robin was waiting. She rolled her eyes, leave it to Henry to trick her into following him and then disappearing as though he hadn't.

A bit standoffish now, she sighed deeply. "What do you want, Robin?"

"Just to talk and… apologise. I didn't handle it very well yesterday afternoon and for that I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted. Now, what do you want to talk about? I don't have much time."

"I ⸻ look. I know I have nothing to offer you, but I am involved now. And I cannot turn away without knowing you'll be all right. They've got you trapped and⸻"

"I'll be fine," she grumbled, interrupting him. "You're making this far too difficult. Robin, for both our sakes, please just leave me alone." Before he could say anything else, she was gone.

Frustrated, he headed back to the third class common room at the aft side of the ship on C-Deck. There, he found Emma talking to the woman they'd come to know as Granny.

"Hey," he said as he sat down next to her.

"Robin," she replied. "How did it go? Did the charm offensive work?"

He shook his head, sighing deeply. "No. She wouldn't even let me finish, although she did assuage my guilt. But basically, she just told me to leave her alone."

Emma frowned, a look of concern crossing her face. "And can you? Let her go?"

"I don't know. And I kind of don't want to talk about it right now. You should've seen her. It's terrible. So, I saw you disappear with Captain Jones last night, eh?" He teased light-heartedly, mostly in hopes of changing the subject.

Emma's face flushed. "Well…"

Robin poked her in the side. "You like him, don't you?"

She didn't respond, but the answer was clear enough for anyone to see. "Yer as likely to have angels flying out of yer arse as to get next to the likes of them," he teased her, parodying the comment she had made the day they had first spotted the first class girls up on the aft B-deck promenade from their spot on the poop deck.

Now it was her turn to poke him. "Shut up."

"So," he teased, wiggling his eyebrows, "did you…?"

This time, Granny smacked him on the head and Emma muttered, "That's none of your business."

He sighed. "I was just going to say, good for you Ems. You deserve it."

Emma fiddled with her fingers. "Well maybe, but I'm not from his world. So, I'm sure it was just a one-time thing. It's not like he even knows that I'm from here, and if he finds out, he won't want to have to do anything with me again."

Robin placed a hand on her lap in sympathy. "I'm sorry Ems. I didn't mean to make you upset…"

"It's all right, you couldn't have known…"

⸻ Line Break ⸻

Regina was on her way back up to B-Deck, when she ran into a seemingly confused Captain Killian Jones.

"Captain are you all right?" she asked, slightly concerned.

"I could ask you the same question, milady," he said as he made to brush past her before turning back around. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. You wouldn't happen to know where I can find Miss Swan, would you? She and I had a lovely evening last night, but I cannot seem to find her anywhere and she wasn't at the service this morning."

Suddenly, it all clicked. Of course. Jack and Rose, Emma and the Captain… ah ha. She was sure he could see the gears turning inside her head. "Well, I think I might have an idea where you could find her, but I doubt she'd want you to. I am fairly sure she believes you're far out of her league, Captain."

He sighed. "Well, I don't care what she believes. Tell me where I can find her."

Regina grinned. "I would suggest you check out the Steerage commons, or the poop deck." She watched him frown. "Why would she be there, isn't she a lady?"

Oh boy, he didn't know. Well, Regina could only hope Emma would forgive her for telling the man the truth. "Uh, no she isn't, I believe. I had hoped she'd tell you herself and I can only hope she'll forgive me for telling you, but she's a woman from steerage."

His eyes widened and now she could see the gears turning in his head. "Oh," he said, utterly dumbfounded. "That makes surprisingly much sense, even though it shouldn't. I wonder why she didn't tell me herself."

Regina sighed. "Well, I'm just guessing here, but probably because she was afraid of the repercussions, Captain. Either because she thought you'd look at her like the rest of our peers, or because she feared you'd have her arrested for joining a first class party."

He ran his hand through his hair. "I would never do such a thing. So, I suppose I should go and find her now, eh? Thank you, Miss Mills."

She smiled softly, perhaps something good could still come out of all this. "Don't thank me, Captain. Go get the girl. I should get going, but I wish you much luck."

He smiled, turning to leave for where she had directed him. "Thank you for your well-wishes then, Miss Mills. And if you ever need my help…" he didn't finish the sentence, knowing she had understood the sentiment.

She shot him a grateful smile, before continuing her way up to B-deck, and back into her gilded cage.

⸻ Line Break ⸻

End notes: So, that's the second chapter in a couple of days. Whoo-hoo. We are slowly closing in on the end now, so please do let me know your (up to) five picks to survive the disaster. I have been trying to use this chapter to expose the other characters a bit more, such as Ruth, Robin, Emma and Killian, but also the storyline between Jack and Rose that's been mostly off-page for the last few chapters. After all, they too are central to the story and I am kind of trying to find a balance between what to show of each storyline. So, I hope you enjoyed this chapter (please let me know!) and I hope to see you for the next one, although I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again.