Protector ch. 13
I know that I really shouldn't be this nervous over a simple lunch date but I can't help it because I never imagined that I would be going out on a date with Santana 'Freaking' Lopez. The Latina has always been a bit of enigma that I could never figure out but someone that I could respect immensely because she has always been able to stand in her truth, going after what she wants. The lawyer's a fierce, determined, caring when it comes to the people that she cares about, loyal to a fault and sweet as I've only seen it in high school when she was with Brittany but it's different as I've gotten to experience it myself firsthand. Everyday for nearly a week and a half, I've awaken to incredibly sweet and sappy morning texts from the woman that cause me to swoon and Unique definitely thinks that Santana is a keeper as she's been Team Santana since she walk back into my life.
There was a few times that a dozen roses and lilies appeared on my desk before looking at Quinn who had this knowing smile on her face and I knew where the flowers has came from. I know that the Latina is serious about pursuing a relationship with me and I want to take this leap with her because I want to see what could become of it but a part of me is hesitant because of most of my relationships have ended when I couldn't meet their standards. I know that the lawyer isn't like that and all that she wants from me is to take chance with me but I've been hurt one too many to count although in spite of what my brain might be telling me, I'm going take the leap. All that I can do right now is hope that I'm making the right decision as I get ready for my lunch date with Santana, getting input from both Unique and Tina on what I should wear and after some debate, I'm satisfied with my look.
I decide on a white long sleeve blouse, a black pencil skirt with the knee high boots that the boutique owner had given a week earlier and a beret before applying light makeup to my face as I check to make sure that I have everything before heading out. I nearly jump out of my skin when my phone starts buzzing before unlocking it to see that it's a text from the lawyer, letting me know that she's here then there's a knock at the door. I open it to see her standing behind it with a easy smile and a bouquet of pink and purple flowers before taking them from her, taking in her appearance to notice that she's wearing a black/grey checkered button up shirt left open revealing a white tank top. It's paired with dark jeans that look like they're painted on as her hair rolls down her back in soft waves with a single strain hanging in her face and without thinking about it, I reach out to tuck it behind her ear.
I blush slightly before going to put the flowers in a vase with water before Santana offers her hand which I take as she leads me out of the apartment to her car, opening the door for me to slide in then getting in herself. I haven't the slightest clue as to where we're going or what we're going to do on this lunch date other than eating and having pleasant conversation but I don't care too much as long as I get to know this woman that manage to such a big shot lawyer. I've talk to Kurt a few times over the last week, finding out that the Latina is incredible at her job as she has a rather high conviction rate, putting away some scary people behind bars which I'm not surprised by at all. Santana has always been insanely protective of the people that she cares about as there's nothing that she wouldn't do to make sure they feel protected as I've seen her cut down people with her silver tongue while she was still a teenager.
Her investigation skills was amazing back then and I can only imagine what they're like now that she does it for a living room but I don't know a lot about this woman now as I know Santana as the girl from high school that seem to have a vendetta against me. I want to know what makes her tick as I can see how different she is now with Quinn and the others but there's still so much that I don't know as we weren't very close in high school and I'm not sure how I fit into her life now. I look at this amazingly talented and beautiful woman that seems to have everything going for her and wondering why is she going after someone as ordinary as a school teacher like me when she could possibly have her pick of equally beautiful women. I'm sure that there are plenty of them are better options than myself but I didn't have enough to time to dwell on my self deprecating thoughts when a warm hand finds my own before soft lips are press against the back of it.
I look over at the Latina to see her smiling reassuringly, almost like she could read my mind and soothe my hesitance, that she's reminding me that she's going to disappear on me or that this could possibly be a cruel prank of some sort. I remind myself that the lawyer isn't the girl in high school that used to bully and I have some faith in her in order for this to work out as I want it work out. Santana drives around to a little Italian place with a quaint and homey feel to it with a small stage with a microphone and a karaoke machine as excited feeling washes over me as it's been a long time since the last time that I had performed in front of a crowd. I would be lying if I said that I didn't miss it and I don't know if I have the same drive that I used to have when I was high school to pursue music anymore as I think that the Latina have pick this place for that particular reason.
I am drawn to hop on the stage to feel the rush of performing once again as we're escort to our table as the waiter hands us menus and asking us what we wanted to drink then leaving us alone to figure out what we wanted to eat. I look over the menu and I'm surprised that there was plenty of vegan options from me to choose from as my heart flutters at the lawyer being so considerate of my dietary restrictions. In the past, the people that I've dated in the past more often than not forgot about me being a vegan or criticize me for being so uptight about having a lot of choices in the food that I could eat when we went out. Here was someone that remembers something about me that I told her about years and bringing me to place where I had more choices to pick from instead of getting a simple salad which isn't all that filling.
I decide on the vegan zucchini lasagna while Santana orders the chicken parmesan when the waiter returns with our drinks before disappearing again, leaving the both of us alone as my eyes wonders towards the stage then back to my date who's subtle smirking.
"I know what you're doing and you're not slick" I said narrowing my eyes at her.
"I'm not doing anything but having a nice lunch with a beautiful woman so I don't know what you're insinuating " Santana said batting her eyes at me.
"You're not cute. You and I both know what you're doing" I giggle in spite of myself.
"I'm fucking hot thank you very much" Santana said running a hand through her hair.
"Of course that would be the only thing that you took from that sentence" I said rolling my eyes.
"Rachel, you know that you don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. You have a choice and I will respect that" Santana said reaching over to take my hand in hers. "I know that you singing, it's written all over your face and I just wanted to give a chance to do it again if that's what you want"
"I know and I appreciate you respecting my wishes. You're right about me missing it but I don't know if I have courage to do it anymore. I haven't performed in front of crowd in such a long time and I don't know if I'm any good" I said sighing sadly.
"You're Rachel Berry, you could've longer without singing and still blown people away. You're so talent, Rachel and fuck anyone that ever told you that you weren't" Santana said squeezing my hand lightly.
Hearing those words mean more than Santana could ever imagine as in the past, I laid wide awake in bed wondering if I was talented as I had thought that I was and if someone to believe as she does then maybe things would've been different. I can't say for sure and there's no turning back the clock as I have now is the present while looking forward to the future as no one knows for might happen as I look into the Latina's eyes, feeling a bout of courage before walking over towards the stage. I look through the book of song selection before deciding on what I wanted to sing as I step on the small stage with a few people looking up from their meals to look at me to say that I was a little nervous was an understatement but I put it out of my mind.
Once the music starts, I open my mouth to sing and the lyric easily flow out as the familiar rush performing as when I was in high school, I had said that I needed applause to live and I couldn't believe how immature I was but I have to admit that it's an amazing feeling. Once the song end and I snap out of the trance that I was under, everyone was on their feet clapping and cheering as Santana is beaming with pride causing me to blush slightly before making my way off the stage. A few people compliment me on the way back to my table where the Latina takes me in her arms, whispering in my ear how amazing I was before kissing me on the temple and I have to admit that I enjoyed myself up there. The waiter returns with our food which smells amazing and it tastes even better as we talk about our lives but I could tell that the Latina wants to ask me something and I think that I have an inkling as to what it is but she's holding back.
"I know that you want to ask me something, Santana and it's okay. You can ask me"
"Are you sure? I mean you don't have to answer it if you don't want to" Santana said frowning slightly.
"I know but I don't want you dance it for my sake. I'll be fine, I promise" I said smiling reassuringly.
"Okay but I'm serious about you not having to ask. Why did you… why did you stop singing? You used to go on about how you were going to be on Broadway when we were in high school"
"I did and I was planning on it too. When I went to NYADA that was my goal and I was doing well as you expect but then I met someone that I thought I could share that dream with and it was great for a while but…"
"But?" Santana asked raising an eyebrow.
"But then I found out that he wasn't all that he was cracked up to be and he was hiding a huge secret from me. He made me feel like I wasn't as talented and special as I thought that I was, criticizing everything that I did and everything that made me feel good about myself. That he was the only one that would want me and there had been a few… pregnancy scares in the past but thankful I ended things with him but the relationship did a number on my self confidence" I said shaking my head to rid myself of the memories.
"That bastard! I'm gonna kill him" Santana said through gritted teeth. "How dare he make you feel that way"
"Santana, it's okay"
"Like hell it is. If it wasn't for that bastard and his ego, you would be living your dream now. He robbed you of your dream because he couldn't handle you being a bigger star than him and I won't stand for that shit. I want his name so I can unleash Snixx on his punk ass" Santana said heatedly.
"First off, language as there are children and secondly, there's no need for that but I appreciate that you're willing to hunt him down for me" I said smiling.
"Fine but one way or another, I'm going to find his name and Imma ends him" Santana said leaning back in her chair.
"Please don't do anything that might end in your arrest but it's sweet that you're so protective of me" I said moving my chair to next to hers.
"I care about you but if you tell anyone, I swear I'll ends you" Santana said playfully glaring at me.
"Of course, I wouldn't dream of it" I said kissing her cheek.
~Nicole The Dragon Rider signing off
End of ch. 13