Transcript Excerpt Three: Lockdown

Hoist the colors and break out the rum, because you're on Buzzard Buccaneer Radio. Your number one and only choice for Rock n Roll. So don't touch that dial, lest you want to be skewed, matey. ARR!

Well today has been something of a mood killer hasn't it? We're still on lockdown. Not that I have places to be, it's just kinda terrifying under the current circumstances. I'm sure I've done nothing to put a target on my back from Syndicate Agents, but you never know. Maybe they want my music and they don't want to share. Well, just because we're stuck aboard the ship doesn't mean we can't try and enjoy ourselves just a little. We got some music coming up, but first a short shipwide reminder.

(Boatswain's Whistle Sound Effect - Possibly from film "Muppet Treasure Island")

This comes from Zek himself, it's about the unggoy quarters that have been set up for them to rest up in when they're not on duty. The Shipmaster is making this very clear to you all right now, do not mess with their methane refill stations or climate controls. Otherwise you will be picking up your own ichor from the tap. Remember, they are not slaves, they are here to provide extra hands when we need them. The shipmaster is only saying this now because with everyone stuck aboard, you're probably all thinking of letting your frustrations out on them. Zek is not going to stand for that. Don't do it, it's petty. And personally, I'm not a fan of the gas suckers either, but picking on them is kinda lowbrow even for us. I mean, they're stupid, why bother poking them for it? It's like kicking a fledgling for whatever reason. Lay off them a little, will ya? We got a bigger problems after all. Well that's my civil service for today, hopefully the little trolls appreciate it, back to why we're here. This is Van Halen with "Panama." I'm told it is both a country on Earth and an old vehicle of some kind. I think this one's about the latter, either way keep it tuned here to BBR.

[Song: Panama]

Don't bother changing the channel, pal. There ain't anything else on out here anyway. This is Buzzard Buccaneer Radio, the rock scourge of the airwaves!

Welcome back people, this is Boz the Buzzard coming to you live from the Fallen Serpent. Now I've been hearing some interesting stories from some of the crew all day since the lockdown activated. Most of them in regards to the Syndicate of course. Some of it's some pretty spooky shit to be sure. For those just tuning in and aren't up to date on kig-yar society, let me break it down quick. The Syndicate are a bunch of Pirate Clans formed into one badass outfit. They usually leave you alone to conduct their own business. But if they think you're endangering that or just putting what remains of Pirate Culture at risk... then they get involved. You don't want them involved. Even if they're on your side, there's a price to it. Which is usually a lot higher than you originally think it will be. Now that we think they might be aboard with us, it seems everyone has an encounter with the Syndicate they are eager to share. Personally, I wouldn't want to advertise that, but it's your funeral. Anyway, sounds like we got more incoming. To the switchboard! You're squawking to the Buzzard, what you got?

Oh plenty. I have a brother who ran into an agent once. Really fucked up situation that was.

Do tell.

He was in this bar on this rutty planet, okay? He was there looking for a job, not really important. Anyway he's in there and this random stranger sparks up a casual conversation. Real smooth operator, he could tell. They were laughing the whole night, pounding down drinks, this bird keeps chatting about his work and how it was a major grind. But he enjoys it anyway, it's rewarding he says. My bro keeps things going cause he figures, hey, maybe he can offer me some work or whatever. At least put him in touch with some guys, he sounded like he had connections, you know?

I hear ya.

Well it's getting late, alright? Like, around closing time, when some guys come in. Gang of toughs, real nasty customers they look like. They even got a Jiralhanae with him, vicious looking fucker with scars everywhere. They wander in, they don't look like they want trouble, they just want a few drinks. The smooth bird talks their head guy over to his seat at the bar with him. Apparently he was waiting on them or something. Way my brother described it, sounded like they had an arrangement of some kind. One the new guy ain't living up to it seems. Smooth tries to like convince him he's gotta abide the contract, but new guy thinks his crew can handle this shit. Says they just need more time. Smooth though, he didn't seem to like that. Not a bit. Says he had plenty of time, says he's stalling cause he thinks his employers can't do shit to him, cause they think he's irreplaceable.

Was he?

That's the fucking thing, Smooth admits he can't do nothing to him. And that's when shit hits the fucking slipspace drive! Smooth like takes his ichor bottle and smashes it into New Guy's face. While he's fucking bleeding everywhere, Smooth slams the dude's beak right into the bar. Now his muscle, the Jiralhanae, he's already fucking up at this point, like leaping from the fucking booth he was at. My brother is just trying to find a place to lay low at this point, but he sees Smooth like react instantly. He lets the dumb ape charge him, but dodges and lets him punch the bar. Then he grabs for his cutlass and slices the monkey across the back of his fucking leg. Ape is bleeding hard now, kneeling down. He rips the fucking stool out of the floor and chucks it at Smooth, but the dude dodges, like that shit is coming at him half the speed. Monkey goes for his weapon, Smooth throws his cutlass as him, impales his fucking wrist. Then he grabs for the primate's own fucking gun, a Mauler, and he shoves it down the ape's throat and just pulls the trigger again and again and again until it's just one big pulpy mess.

Holy fuck.

Yeah and the rest of new guy's crew, they just fucking watch cause they can't believe this is fucking happening! Smooth picks the dude off the floor, glass and shit still stuck in his face and he tells him that the rest of his operation is expendable. That they can make life a living hell for him and there's nothing that can protect him. So the guy cracks, tells him where he's storing the goods he promised for the Syndicate. Smooth lets the fucker live, but carves a scar right across his face, just to remind him that they can hurt him. Then he drops him to the floor and Smooth is back to smiling all friendly and shit. He even pays for my brother's drinks and checks out with a friendly wave. Unfucking believable!

It almost sounds as much.

I wouldn't have bought it, if my bro didn't take pics of the scene after the fact. Dead headless monkey and all. Real fucked up scenario. My brother decided to look for work elsewhere, wanted to be as far as possible from that shit show.

You worried about these Agents doing the same thing here?

Probably, but not to me. I don't owe no one nothing, honest. Well, maybe I owed some back rent on this shuttle I once crashed, but that ain't the same. I'm sure as shit that the guy who sold me that junk pile wasn't with the Syndicate. Least I hope not.

I don't think the Syndicate cares about people crashing their shuttles. Not unless it's carrying their product I imagine. I'm sure you're fine. Shuttle Salesmen are far less bloodthirsty than assassins, but only just a little. Alright, next call. Can you top that story?

Not sure I can, but I do remember this one thing I heard a good while back. Story on the wire about a sangheili in charge of an anti-pirate taskforce. He got sent to major causeway of activity, hotbed of crooks, Syndicate run as I understand. He conducts these searches for contraband that he hears is being hidden in settlement. He find nothing though, it all got shipped out before he could grab it, not a trace left. He gets word of a hideout, sends some Banshees to bomb it to fuck. They never come back. He heads to his ship, tries to take off to deal with the problem himself. Whole fucking thing explodes the second he steps on the bridge! Had to be a Syndicate Agent, infiltrated the Covie Fleet just for that purpose. Find a guy who tries to take on the Queens and then decapitate him before he can even get his feet wet.

Well, that would certainly send a message. Don't hunt us, we'll end you. If it was them of course.

Who else would it be? The Humans? Let's be honest here, I think they wouldn't mind the Covenant wasting more time on pirates and less on them. Besides, you better believe they'd have let everyone know it was their boys who killed the bastard. No, it was the Syndicate alright. They locked onto that sangheili and executed him cold like. Just goes to show, they don't just target pirates. Agents will go after anyone if they pose a threat to Syndicate interests.

Point taken, although I doubt that's what the guys currently on our ship somewhere are interested in right now. This is why they usually send the low level sangheili after our asses, people. They want to reserve all their big name heavies for humans and not potentially lose them to us "lowly criminals" or whatever. Lowly, heh, right. As if they're so high and fucking mighty. They need fucking hover chairs to get anywhere with our snapping their knees in half. Longnecked fucks. Alright, next caller. You're with the buzzard, talk to me.

Boz, you gotta listen to this. Seriously, this is important, especially now.

Ah shit, Juk! You gotta do this now? Please tell me you haven't been hitting the Sooka Sand again. You know how much that crap fucks you up.

That's what THEY want you to think. That ain't what it does though. It opens up my eyes to everything, Boz! Things you just don't see! But they're things you gotta know, everyone has to know! But they won't tell about them because they need to keep you blind. It's how they keep you down!

Who the fuck is this "They", Juk? I know it's not the Covenant cause you keep claiming they're pawns too. It's not the humans because they're not really in a position to do much of anything right now. Honestly, your twitchy ass needs to get sober. I'm all for personal recreation, but at some point you gotta realize when you're in over your head.

Just listen for a second, okay? The Syndicate Agents everyone is so worried about? It's a smokescreen, total damn smokescreen. It's put up there to keep you distracted. The reality is, we've all been infiltrated already, long before that and by multiple parties!

Oh dear, is that right? Who could be worse than the ever dreaded infiltrators who exist to subvert whole crews and fleets for the benefit of the three most powerful pirate clans? Let me guess, the ghost of Blood Quill the Cannibal is roving the halls as we speak?

I'll tell you who, the Viskazmox! Shape-shifters from the Pinwheel Galaxy. They came here eons ago, and they implanted themselves in every society! They've been controlling the wheel of fate ever since! And now that we're partnered with a bunch of humans from another dimension, well, fuck, they're about ready to make their move! Why? Because they know their rivals for galactic dominance, the Mentaltoids from the Microverse, have already implanted themselves in the minds of several humans from across the entirety of time and space. Now that they've got reinforcements, it's only a matter of time before they decide to activate their various sleeper cells and seize control once and for all! Don't you get? We're all just caught in the damn crossfire of their coming war for total control of the cosmos!

Holy fuck, how horrible. Truly these are the end times it seems. We might as well open all the airlocks now and get it over with I suppose.

Don't you get sarcastic with me, Boz. We're on the precipice of utter destruction and this Syndicate scare is just the start of their whole plan to distract us. And you, everyone on this ship and in this fleet, you all need to know this because you're all targets! Your friends could be your enemies and even they might not know it! We all gotta start scanning ourselves with level four low-level radiation. It's the only thing that disrupts the shape-shifters powers and also burns out the Mentaloids from your brain pan! At the very least, everyone needs to breath in a ton of Sooka Sand, that way they can see stuff. Like if anyone has purple tint to their pupils, they got a Mentaloid in there! We all need a reverse brainwash before it's too late!

Sure, Juk, I'll get right on all that. I'd love to bathe myself in excess plasma fumes to get rid of the invisible little creatures in my brain. That would be so healthy and not potentially cancer-causing.

The only cancer is the menace in our midst! Why am I the only one who sees this? You can't be that bli-

And that is enough from Crazy Town for today. I apologize for that listeners, Juk has never been well. One too many inhales of the Kooky Sooky. We keep him stuck on cleaning duty for just that reason. This is why I stick to ichor. It tells you to stop once you start throwing up and your body forces you to listen. When it comes to the sand, friends, heed my advice, just say no. Seriously, I need to find a better way to screen these calls. In the meantime, let's get back to rocking out. And in honor of our twitchy friend, this appropriately titled song is going out straight to Juk. Get clean, buddy, please! Here's "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath, only on BBR.

[Song: Paranoid]

You're listening to BBR, where the ichor always flows and the rock never stops. Pour another round on us why don't ya?

You guys know me, I'm not much for the fighting if I can help it. I prefer not getting my skin melted off by plasma bolts, thank you. That's why I'm doing this show and you're not. I do have a gun though, personal protection and all that. It's almost a given in this line of work that you need to have a gun on you. Thing is, there's a lot of variety out there to choose. More so now because of our current relations. Now, with this whole Syndicate scare, I'm guessing a lot of you and keeping your pieces close. In light of that, I decided to bring our master-of-arms onto the program to share some info on some of the new weapons we've acquired since our team up with the humans and our recent trip to the hollow. Please welcome, Zhad, the bird in charge of every zapper about the ship. You're on the air, bud.

Glad I could come on, Boz. I was hoping to share some of the latest wares with you all.

Zhad, let's be blunt. A pirate is only as good as the weapon he carries. You know our usual arsenal, needlers, plasma pistols, but we got anything a bit more exotic these days?

Do we ever? Let's start on some things that are more familiar. The Needler Rifle is a pretty solid long range utility. Like the one-handed needler, but with far superior range and accuracy. It can hit your target and if you do it in quick succession you can detonate the needles. Just like a regular needler, only you won't need as many to make a decent kill. For other long-range needs, you have the Carbine, it's got great range and packs a punch against energy-based shielding. Not great on accuracy though, but has a decent rate of fire. Works pretty well in a sustained firefight. Although I'd suggest always aiming for the head, it will take awhile to kill something bigger than you with this otherwise.

We got beam rifles too right?

Ah yes, the classics. Beam Rifles are great weapons for long range kills, practically perfect. You just line up through the sights and anything you're shooting at is usually dead before they even hear the discharge. Problem is, terrible battery life. Thing will die in a few shots if you aren't careful. Once that happens you're pretty much screwed. We actually acquired something a bit more interesting on the Hollow. The Focus Rifle, this baby gets snatched up by the Sangheili a lot, but it's way too good for them. You can charge this weapon up into a powerful shot and then hold on the trigger. It let's loose a continuous beam of pure death that can wipe through a small squad of hostiles easy. You start an ambush with this, chances are you'll have three dead people instead of one before they all run for cover. Same problem as the Beam Rifle, loses battery fast, especially with sustained firing. Less range also, the beam can't travel that far unfortunately. The trade off is potentially more kills for your shots though and it's just as accurate, although you're going to give away your position pretty fast with it of course. Not much for stealth, but makes up for it in fear factor, that's for sure. Sometimes that's all you really need with a sniper rifle.

Well that does sound cool, Zhad, but what about our new friends? Didn't they bring over some guns to share?

Well the humans have plenty I'd like to get my hands on, but they're hogging them all. I guess I can't blame them. I can't said I'd ever give them back if I got one. The batarians are a bit more generous, mostly because they have few more of them than they really need. Consequence of losing so many of their numbers I suppose. Meaning we got our hands on some sweet gear from beyond the wormhole they popped out of. They got some deadly toys here, like this little hand cannon. The Carnifex it's called. Funny thing about their guns over in that other universe, they don't really use batteries or bullets or needles. Every gun is loaded with this big old block of lead. From what I understand, every time you fire the thing, it shaves off like a grain from this big old block and then it launches the thing at crazy speeds. I'm talking like a fighter craft launching into overdrive fast here.

Making that tiny grain fast enough to rip through a skull. Interesting way to kill someone. Not to mention slightly ironic depending on how big the target is. But they still need to be reloaded, right?

Yeah, with something called thermal clips. Apparently, shooting grains of lead at high velocity overheats the damn thing. So the excess heat gets dumped into these little sinks you see. When it gets too much, you eject it and slap in a fresh one. Same with every gun, not just the Carnifex. It's a pretty well designed pistol in any case. Decent punch, minimal recoil, brilliantly accurate. The kicker though, is the ammo modifications. You can set this baby to shoot incendiaries, shield disruptors, flesh rippers, hell, you can even freeze marks with it! Ain't that a hoot?

Am I allowed to make an ice pun?

Yeah, you do that and I might shoot YOU with it, Boz. Don't jeopardize our friendship here, alright?

Fine, fine, sounds like the Carnifex would be a good weapon to keep our boys safe from stowaway assassins. I imagine some want something with more bite though.

Well the batarians have a lot of bite. You know about the human shotgun that tears shit apart? They got their own variant and it's a doozy. They only had a few to hand out, but it was worth the trade. The AT-12 Raider is a monster! It's not lightweight and there's only two shots in the chamber, but anything you're shooting at is bound to be dead or close to when you fire the first round. That's how much firepower it packs and it's got a great firing rate as well. Meaning you can put down your assailants pretty quickly, even with the considerable reload time. Hell, if there's a lot of them, you can probably kill two at least. This thing has a pretty wide spread. Combine that with mods to increase the capacity of the magazine, plus whatever ammo type you choose to have it fire, and you got the perfect gun to pile up some corpses with. Only drawback is that it's accuracy at longer ranges is pretty poor, even in comparison to similar weapons. For that reason alone, you'll probably want to stick a bayonet on the end. The batarians have their own, but I've modded mine with an energy shard dagger. If you're going to be stuck shooting at such a close range anyway, you might as have another means to kill the bastards with it.

Batarians sure know how to make a devastating weapon it seems. That should give any Syndicate Assassins skulking about a reason to take pause.

Why do you think I have one? Hell, chances are they got activated specifically because we have all these new murder toys around! I mean, wouldn't you want to get your hands on weapons from another universe if you were in their shoes? Take the batarian's kishock harpoon gun, one of their long range rifles. This thing can easily one-shot three enemies under the proper circumstances. That's how much penetration power it's got. Don't even talk about range, it's got it in spades. Can get you a headshot from over a hundred yards, maybe more. Doesn't matter if there is only one shot in the chamber, it's all you're going to need. It's like you said, batarians know how to make some vicious armaments. If the Syndicate knows about them, they probably want them. I imagine it would make their little kill squads a lot more efficient.

Considering the stories I've heard, I'm not entirely sure they NEED to be more efficient.

Hey, they're professional killers and infiltrators, they're not going to turn down a chance to kill folks in a quicker and more bloody fashion. That's just who they are. In any case, I'm keeping this armory locked tight. I already have a gun set up at the door. You want in here? I'm gonna have to buzz ya, otherwise it's a face full of AT-12 spread. I got it set up with shredder rounds, you don't want none of that. So until this place is clean, no one is getting in. These are my fucking guns, bitches. End of story.

That sounds a tad extreme Zhad. Can't you just set up and alarm or shock-grid? Zap them with a few volts if they to break through?

Screw that, anyone dumb enough to try and take my guns is going to get fried permanent like. Old Zhad does not fuck around when it comes to personal protection. Simple as that. Any responsible gun owner would do everything in their power to prevent potential thefts.

And your answer to that is to set up a lethal trap pointing at the only way in or out?

No, I got plasma pistols rigged to go off near the vents too. I'm covering all the angles here.

Well, stay safe, Zhad. And try to make sure you don't shoot anyone who ISN'T a stowaway assassin.

No promises, can't account for stupidity. Just everyone stay away from my armory, damn it.

Geez, this whole mess has got more people on edge than I thought. I suppose it's not without reason. Still, we're not entirely sure what exactly is going on here. I mean, I'm aware they tried to kill Taq, but she could be the only thing they're after, guys. We're not all targets is all I'm saying. I'm hardly that important for example. I mean, I've still locked the station's door and barricaded it with my own bed, but that's beside the point. Do what you need to feel safe, guys, just don't be so panicky. Retz is on this one, remember? He's got this all well in hand, I'm sure. Anyway. Time for another music break, one that will hopefully ease everyone's tensions a little. Here's a track from Earth's distant past that should relax our nerves. Deep Purple with "Hush", an easygoing tune to mellow you all out a little. Only here on BBR.

[Song: Hush]

If you can't hijack a cargo ship half drunk off your ass, what can you do? Buccaneer Buzzard Radio, where the only life is the pirate life.

[Song: Doctor Feelgood]

That was Motley Cue, with "Doctor Feelgood", hoping the sentiment passed on to you. I know you guys are probably itching to get off this ship soon, with any luck we will before long. Honestly, there's only so many places these agents can hide after all. I suppose the bright side about this is we get a break from the humans for a bit. No offense to any listening, but sometimes you just need a little space for any good relationship to work. In the case of one of one of my brother's ex-girlfriends, she needed the space and his brand new hovercar.

Don't feel too bad for him though, he bought that with money she had earned. Technically it was hers to begin with. Also hers to use as a getaway car when she robbed that credit chips firm. She smashed it through the wall to start the robbery though, so part of me has to think there was some slight vindictiveness on her part. He was seriously pissed though. He loved that vehicle, named it and everything. Slept in it. Probably did unspeakable acts to it, he loved it so much. I'm not joking, one time I found him naked in the garage near the fuel intake. I'd like to say he was drunk, but he had a lot of issues. So when the Ex ditched it in mid-air to grab onto that passing shuttlebus, it was kind of a mercy killing when it hit the ground. Well that was a tangent, let's break it up with some news.

(Boatswain's Whistle Sound Effect)

Proposals have been made by several crew members to expand the viewing experience of the vids we've acquired. They have suggested that with the rather large space that encompasses the mostly unused hangar of the Ascendant Justice, that a bigger holoscreen could be set up in one of the sections. Specifically so more people can enjoy the vids, including humans, who probably don't want to come aboard our little Corvette because of various reasons. Shipmaster Zek has said the idea is not without merit, but must be run by Colonel Holland first. Personally, I don't think Holland will take issue with old human films being played for his human underlings. I'm sure there are quite a few of them who are curious about our vid nights as much as anyone is by now. Cultural exchange is a beautiful thing. Either way, it's going to have to wait until the lockdown is over.

In other news, a prospective buyer for our spoils from yesterday's raid has been found. We will be making our standard drop in short order once details are finalized. So expect a payday in our near future. Not that you can spend it on much, being stuck out here in the middle of nowhere and all, but it's always good to know you're still earning money. Just like with breathing, it means you're still alive. The full payout for the delivery will be announced in short order. As will the cut of everyone in accordance to their station. A dishonest paycheck, what could feel better?

That's the news at the top of the hour, now back to the tunes. We got a request over the previous break from someone over at Roe's Bar. Here's a little band called Guns and Roses with "My Michelle." Save a drink for me down there guys.

The home of 100% pure Rock n Roll in the void! BBR! (Bird Squawk) Buzzard Buccaneer Radio!

[Song: My Michelle]

Ah these guys, Guns & Roses, that is such a freaking cool name. How come all these bands the humans created have such great names. Anyway, Boz again folks and I bring another recording from our Shipmaster himself. Yes, it turns out Zek has had time throughout all this craziness to make another review of another vid. I guess with Retz on the case, he's not too worried about much right now. So, let's see what the boss has for us today folks.

Some would say us Pirates are dirty criminal scum. They're kinda right to be honest. I'm not going to try and lie here to you all. We all know the truth of this life. We're outlaws, let's not pretend we're noble or serve some higher purpose. We don't. And that's the beauty of our system I think, the fact we accept we're ugly. We don't put up a charade like some crooks do. You know what you're getting with a pirate. In that sense, we are incredibly reliable to those we offer our services to. Before you think this is a sales pitch or anything, it's not. It's simply a truth we at times forget. We do not have any official rules, no centralized government to oppose. There is no law and therefore, we are all lawless. This is where a vid I watched recently comes in, "Goodfellas." And I think it's lesson is important to us now in this current crisis. That we are free and we should appreciate that.

"Goodfellas" is the story of a small time crook named Henry Hill who joins a criminal organization called the Italian Mafia as a kid. Well, I say join, but he's more like a hired goon. He's got no real power, no actual standing, he's just some little dipshit who gets paid really well for being a thug. Admirable in most cases, not here. Hill you see is intoxicated with the Mafia lifestyle, adores it even. He desires to be just like him from the time he's just a fledgling, or whatever humans call their kids. They give him money, they give him a sense of purpose in his life, hell they even help get him out of school forever. He looks like he's got it made. Problem is, it's clear from the start he has no idea what the actual fuck he's getting into.

He joins the life for the romance of it, the hopes it's an easy ride to get ahead, to belong to something bigger and grander. He's stupid enough to believe all this garbage he tells himself, because there's this belief the Mafia is a honorable organization. Yes, because people who steal money on a regular basis from truck drivers are honorable. Oh sure, they offer protection to people, but it's pretty clear that those people are just being used. The Mafia sucks them dry and then discards them. Henry refuses to see that though, that people are expendable in this life and he doesn't connect that the same goes for him.

He even ignores the fact that his so called friends are quite literally psychopaths. Violent fuckers who will turn on people without a moment's thought. Mainly because they know they can get away with it. His friend Jimmy might seem respectable, but he's a paranoid maniac under that calmed and reserved surface. Willing to kill his friends and fellow crewmembers just to get ahead and stay out of the hands of the law. It's clear you can't put your faith in him relatively early on, that he will get rid of you once you're worthless to him. Henry doesn't though, he's too blinded by the fantasy of it all. Then there's fucking Tommy though. Holy shit, this guy does not hide anything. He's a clear raving madman, who's murderous tendencies are enabled by the Mafia. One second he's all happy and joking, he next he's shooting a man in the foot for not bringing his drink fast enough! And then later when the same guy tells him to rightly go fuck himself... Tommy fucking murders him in cold blood! And Hill stays friends with these people! People who are clearly not trustworthy or reliable as crewmates!

Now it might sound like the Mafia is a little like us, but that couldn't be further from the truth. They got actual rules, mainly because they live in a society with laws that could see them all in jail were they found out. Thing is they barely follow these rules themselves, constantly breaking them to get ahead on their own. The Mafia denies attempts at personal advancement, all in an effort to protect the big guys at the top! So much for entrepreneurial spirit, huh? Henry himself breaks the no-no they have on drugs, which they made because dealers usually rat on them when caught. That and drugs get less corruptible officials involved. That's the other problem with the Mafia, it relies too much on lawmen being coerced into leaving you alone. Oh you might get some, but they're the idiots who suck at their jobs. Sooner or later, you'll find a good officer of the law and then you're fucked.

Point is, Hill starts selling drugs to make more money. Putting himself at greater and greater risk. Hell, he even starts taking his own product like an idiot, just to keep up with everything he needs to do and everything the Mafia requires of him. That's another thing, there's no sense of legitimate love in this family, it's enforced. You have to be there for them every second, over your own interests. You have to follow their rules, even when they break them constantly. You're not loyal to them because you want to be, you have to be! You're basically a slave with a sense of power, because they let you punt people's faces in for them now and again and pay you well for it.

Gradually, Hill comes to realize his so-called friends aren't his friends. They're all just waiting for him to fuck up enough. Then they're his enemies and they'll kill him on the spot without even so much as a shrug. All of his naive, childlike beliefs about what the Mob is, all the dumbass mistakes he makes in his life, all too soon it comes crashing down on his head. And he deserves it really, it's his fault for being an idiot. For thinking just because his co-workers call him family means he's part of them. Of course by then, it's all too late and he's got to make a decision that will cost him everything he holds dear.

I'm not sure if that's a big spoiler or not, but it's important to stress this point. "Goodfellas" is one big cautionary tale about the dangers of trusting any system, criminal or otherwise, to protect you. The only thing that will protect your ass, are true crewmates. Those who stand with you in a fight with blades drawn and shed blood with you to earn fortune and glory side by side. The Mafia is revealed here as yet another failed system, this time for criminals like ourselves. They all pretend they're somehow a righteous society, with honor and dignity. They're little more than highly organized thugs though, living in a fantasy that nothing can hurt them. But as Henry Hill discovers, when your system is designed to work under the nose of the law, it's already failed.

This is why we have codes, not rules. Laws are broken everyday. The idea that criminals already breaking one set of laws while strictly adhering to a bunch of rules their club made up is insanity! Honor has no meaning in this life, but the Mafia wanted to pretend it did. Trying to make themselves out to be heroes, but they're not. They never were. They were the worst kind of crooks, dishonest ones. Dishonest because they were lying to themselves. This vid paints their world brilliantly, one of excess violence thinly covered up with a weak coat of oaths and promises that can never be fulfilled. Crime cannot be organized, friends. By it's very nature, it is disorder and chaos. To try to make it anything but is futile.

In general respects the vid compliments this message with stellar cinematography, a great cast of actors and actresses, brilliant writing and incredible music. I expect Boz to play a few tracks now and again when he can. I'm sure Mr. Moreau has them on the file somewhere. Truthfully though, all those other bits are there to enhance an great story every Pirate should hear, because it helps reaffirm the life we lead. Piracy is freedom, boys. It is a sacred trust of a crew and their shipmaster. One cannot exist without the other. We may lie, we may cheat and we mostly do steal and kill. But we will always be honest about the why, because we don't pretend to be anything but what we are. The Italian Mob died it's slow agonizing death, clinging to the belief it was something more. We survive because we embrace the lawlessness. We don't try to fit into anyone else's system. We create a nation unto itself and answerable only to the individual! As the great Captain Jack Sparrow said in another terrific vid, all that matters is what one can do and what one cannot do. There is no greater truth than that, no better summation of who we are.

The Syndicate itself is a similar system to this. Everyone knows what they are and they do not pretend to be anything but. They exist to protect the bit of space they've carved for themselves and make sure no one else wipes out pirate-kind in the process. Mainly because we're buffers. If there's all these smaller pirates running around, fewer people will bother them. And because we know what they are, the danger they possess and the potential risks involved in dealing with them, we are that much more prepared to face them. They may have stowed away, sneaked themselves into our little country, but we will eject them. For we are Pirates! We are free! And we are unconquerable! Not by them or anyone! Not even to ourselves! May our colors always soar high so this undeniable fact may be clear to all! Thank you for your time, gentlebirds. And remember not to fear. This is but one storm more to weather. Stay true my friends, true to who you are. Never feel ashamed. For you are a Pirate, you are free. Forever and always, you are free.

Wow, I'm a little choked up here guys. Seriously, I am. If you ever needed a reason as to why I joined this crew, it's right frickin there! Shit guys, I'm sorry, I gotta play something before I start totally bawling. That was all way too beautiful. This is another hit from Alestorm called simply "Pirate Song." Do enjoy, stay free, my friends.

[Song: Pirate Song]

-End Transcript-

Mordin's Notes:

Hedonistic lifestyle of kig-yar readily apparent. Reaction to potential disruption also undeniable. Introduction of threat to status quo creates clear tension. Surge of paranoia. Rampant rumors and scuttlebutt. Excess of alcoholic consumption. Self-preservation more valued than whole of ship. All clear coping mechanisms. Assassin situation unaccounted for. Risk not previously considered. Sudden appearance created panic, fear.

Pirates clearly feel upturned by added risk. Assassins hiding amongst their ranks. Tenuous situation. Fearful reaction understandable. In contrast to love of danger and violence. Can only surmise shift in balance leading factor. Assassins had upper hand. No idea who to trust. Cannot rely on anyone. Already accepted fact within pirate society. Greater threat added through hired killers who know tricks of trade. Better liars, schemers, fighters in general than average Serpent crewmate. Scenario entitles high risk, no reward other than continued survival. Not favorable situation for pirates.

Reverence, no, terror created by Syndicate most evident. Agents similar to colleagues from STG (Special Tasks Group) during tenure with organization. Vastly different. Not interested in military or political balance. Motivated purely by power and respect offered. Position of authority over largely chaotic kig-yar society. Outlaws acting as judge, jury and executioner over own kind. Skill and ability may be exaggerated. Hard to discern embellishment from reality. Kig-yar already stretch truth normally. Fear obscures truth even more. The Syndicate's capabilities would almost be admirable. Used for less than noble reason, however.

One sign of clear stability. The trust in the shipmaster. Dislike of authority only appears to extend to outsiders. As stated before, the leader is highly respected. His position of authority secured through commonalities with fellow crewmates. Faith in his ability to lead keeps order. Or what passes as such aboard vessel. Zek's and Boz's assurances of Retz's abilities eased tensions somewhat. Imagine eventual success of the elimination of the assassins has only cemented respect for both Zek and Retz in foreseeable future. Loyalty to their shipmaster resides in ability to protect crew. Securing their chosen path of self-indulgence.

No mistake though, paranoia and distrust still present. Less pronounced now that danger has passed. Will occur again if matters turn for worse. How far it goes will depend on gravity of the given situation.

Official Report:

As always, Professor Solus' insight is much appreciated. He stresses the same concerns I have that aroused from this incident. Jackal life is based on a constant climate of distrust and fear. When backed against a wall, they are more subject to the shortcomings of such attitudes. The idea of being infiltrated by those that wish to disrupt their comfortable lifestyle is clear to anyone who reads this transcript.

Boz's attempts to create some measure of control are hampered by his own admitted fears. It seems only through the faith of Zek's ability to lead was any control maintained. It stands to reason Zek knows this and it is why he made his little vid review to reassure his people. An effective morale booster, but it will not always hold. If the Jackals ever feel their shipmaster is failing them, they will turn on him. I don't think that is a particular risk here, but the possibility is ever present. Pirates throughout history have always ejected incompetent leaders when it suited them. They were very democratic in this way. If you call marooning the failed Captain on an island democratic.

I think it would be best if we make sure such a coup does not happen. At least not with us in close proximity. Despite my noted dislike of Zek and his cronies, I'd rather a sympathetic Jackal be in charge than someone who might think less of us. For now, Zek sees us as a potential business partner. We can use that to keep him on somewhat of a proposed path. I'm not going to say leash because that makes it sound like we have a measure of control with him. This is more like us properly setting boundaries he can't cross.

The Syndicate ripple concerns me nonetheless. We hardly need another faction after us right now. The men will hear about this, it's inevitable. They will not like it. I suggest we emphasize the fact that the assassins were neutralized. Well, to an extent as it were.

In any case, the Syndicate presents a grave potential threat. Their subtle machinations almost allowed them to acquire the information we need to locate the Forerunner wreck. They are indeed a very willy opponent. Their tactics and approach are not unlike those used at ONI. I won't claim we're somehow more noble than them because we're not criminals. However, they are at the very least more lethal than us. As always, violence might not be the first solution, but it is a close second. From what we now know they are equal parts cunning and cruel, instilling an aura of fear within all who learn of them.

The real troubling part for me is knowing what Retz actually is now. While I'm willing to admit it turned out in our favor this time, we know very little of his true loyalty. Only that he claims that Zek can always count on him. I'm not sure how much stock I can take in the word of a pirate. Let's just say, I have even less reason to trust him now. Same as Zek, he knew about his friend's true identity and refused to tell us. I understand respecting his friend's secrets, but not when it places us at risk. However, Retz is not our crewmember. I can only watch him, beyond that there is nothing more I can do. Other than increasing security measures near the Serpent's docking port.

On a personal note, I will add that Zek is no less fooling himself than the character in the "Goodfellas" vid was. The pirate life may have less rules to break, but it's still controlled by those who are the most powerful. Those willing to cut the most throats to get ahead. While Zek might see this as a necessity, it's more of an excuse. The Syndicate's differences from the Italian Mob are clear, they fear no law and follow nothing but their own code. They are still just as greedy and violent as any mobster from the twentieth or beyond. They're more honest about it, but they are still an organization dedicated to their advancement. They serve no cause but their own and will step over anyone to get it.

Truthfully, they are no different than Zek's pirates. They are simply better at their jobs if the story of their massive fleet holds any weight. It's another reason we must be wary of these Jackals. Contingencies for a potential problem must be observed. However I feel we are adequately prepared for that eventuality. The Pirates are freely sharing themselves with us after all. We know the enemy better than ever. They're fearful, greedy, underhanded and mistrusting. These are attributes we can use against them should the need arise.

For now though, they are allies and they are assisting us. We'll see if this trend continues once we reach the Forerunner wreck. For the record, I do hope they remain helpful. We can ill-afford a massive liability while we have three separate factions after our heads. Perhaps this artifact we uncover will turn things around for us. Again, we can only hope.

-Signed

Lieutenant Elias Haverson

Office of Naval Intelligence