Disclaimer: I don't own Fire Emblem Three Houses.

Golden Deer, finally.

"I swear, every time I turn my back you find some new way to vex me by way of this lake." Seteth groans. "Professor, I never thought I'd have to say this, but it is not acceptable behaviour to throw students in the lake."

Byleth blinks. "They deserved it."

"Do tell…" The green-haired man says sarcastically. "Please, enlighten me, so I know why I'm posting guards specifically to bar you from going to the lake."

"An empty threat." The mercenary responds calmly. "Lorenz would not stop bothering the female students, again, and Leonie would not stop badgering me about Father, nor bragging about how she'll one-up me, again." His expression is flat, but his tone conveys his irritation full well. "So, I made my thoughts clear."

"By throwing them in the lake."

"Yes."

"And you still don't see the problem with that, do you?"

"No."

Seteth lets out a long-suffering sigh. Has it really only been two months? I feels like he's been dealing with this absurdity for much longer. "Just don't do that again Professor."

"Even if they bother me?"

"Especially if they bother you."

"How about the baths then?"

"No Professor."

Byleth's expression could almost be called a pout. "Fine."

"Also… please stop taking Flayn to class."

"Why? She's learning."

"Yes, but it is not proper for her to sit on your shoulders the entire time as you give a lecture." Seteth says dryly. Byleth opens his mouth to speak, and Seteth cuts him off. "Even if she enjoys it… and for the goddess's sake, don't let her throw your sponges for you again…"

###

"Ah! Hello Professor." Ignatz greets. "Do you have a moment?" I'm having trouble with this painting."

Byleth tilts his head and looks at the canvas in front of him. "I do not see the problem."

"That's just it. I know there's something wrong, but I don't know what." The boy sighs. "I was hoping a second opinion would help. Perhaps one of the colors is too strong, too weak? Is the composition too unbalanced…?"

Byleth stares for a moment longer, holds up a finger, says "wait here" and dashes off towards the dormitories.

He comes back a moment later carrying something… someone over his shoulder.

"Wh-What did I do now!? Did I miss a class? Training? Chores? H-Have you finally had enough of me!?" The girl wails. "H-Have mercy!"

Apparently unphased by Bernadetta's panic, Byeth promptly plops her down in front of Ignatz. He spares a moment to say "now art" before walking off to do who-knows what.

Ignatz and Bernadetta stare at each other for a moment, trying to figure out what just happened. Ignatz breaks the silence. "Did he just use 'art' as a verb?"

"I-I think so."

"Does he carry you around often?"

"Yes." Bernadetta whimpers. "It's because I'm small, I know it! He does the same to Annette! He used us as training weights! He hates short people! He's out to humiliate me!"

"I-I'm sure that's an exaggeration." This is not what Ignatz imagined he'd be doing in the afternoon. "I'm sure he likes you, he's just a bit… rough around the edges."

"He paraded me through the streets!" The girl wails. "He wants to destroy my social standing, and then my life!"

"Umm…" Ignatz doesn't know what to say, so he tries to change the topic. "So, erm… you're apparently an artist?" Yes, very smooth, that wasn't flimsy at all.

"Ah, uh, yes, a bit."

"Well perhaps you can help me then." Ignatz says in relief. "See, I have this problem I can't solve…"

###

"I'm fine Professor, really…" Marianne says softly. She bows to the man politely. "S-Sorry to bother you."

Byleth's eyes narrow. He's no fool. He knows something's wrong. He goes through his mind, trying to remember what his Father did when he was feeling down. Then, he remembers.

"U-Um…" Marianne mumbles as the man stiffly wraps his arms around her. "Thank you...?"

"Are you fixed?"

"Fixed…?" The girl murmurs. "Professor, there isn't anything you can do."

That sounds like a challenge to him. He scoops the girl up in his arms (he does this surprisingly frequently ever since he became a teacher… was this in the job description?) and marches over to the golden deer house while ignoring Marianne's quiet protests. Claude will agree with his plan for sure.

"So wait… your plan since one hug doesn't work is… more hugs." Claude says slowly after the man explains the situation to him.

"Yes." Byleth says with absolute sincerity. He holds Marianne out to Claude. "You first."

Marianne gives her house leader a pleading look, asking for help. The boy embraces her instead. "Have fun." He whispers in her ear with an evil grin. "Hey Teach, don't forget the other houses, teachers, and staff. The more the better, right?"

Marianne gapes in horror at this suggestion, followed quickly by hiding her face in her hands from embarrassment when Byleth nods in agreement. "Oh Goddess, please no, I don't deserve this…" She whimpers.

"You do, that's the whole point." Byleth responds curtly. He glances to Claude. "Where's Hilda?"

"Her room."

"Understood." The man turns on his heel, and marches out of the room. Claude waits until he's out of earshot before leaning against a desk and letting out a long laugh. This is going to be a good day, he can tell. There has to be some way he can exploit this…

###

"Professor, you're going to embarrass her to death with this plan." Hilda sighs as she absently squeezes the blue-haired girl. "But… I won't say you're wrong. Poor Marianne could use a bit of affection now and again, hmm?"

"I-I'm fine!" The girl protests weakly. "R-Really..."

"Everyone could some hugs now and again now that I think of it…"Hilda says with a coy smile. "What do you think Professor?"

His response is the single most stiff, awkward hug Hilda has ever had in her entire life. It's almost painful how awkward Byleth is about it. It's like he's never given hugs before.

Actually… considering his upbringing and general weirdness, there's a chance he actually hasn't before today. Hilda almost feels bad for him. He's going to have one hell of a time getting into a relationship ever if he can't even do basic things like give hugs.

Then again… maybe he doesn't care. This is the Professor after all. He wouldn't know flirtation if it punched him in the face. It would surprise her if he'd even considered romance of any sort at any point.

"I would like to stay, but we must go. You are only the first on the list." Byleth says. He picks up Marianne again, ignoring her protests, and steps out the window. "I expect you to have finished your assignment before class tonight."

Hilda's eyes snap to her unfinished work lying on her desk. Of course he noticed that. "Ugh… I guess I actually have to do that now…"

###

"Well gee Marianne, if you needed a cheer-up, you shoulda just asked! I'da come running!" Raphael laughs as he squeezes the girl. "We should go get some food too! I know that always cheers me up!"

"I-It's really not-" Marianne starts, but she's cut off.

"Good idea." Byleth nods seriously. "Marianne, what foods do you like?"

"You really don't-"

"Won't say, huh? I know! We should ask Annette! She knows what everyone likes!" Raphael says excitedly. "Maybe she'll join us! Heck, we should just invite others to come along! It'll be like a party, for Marianne!"

"Oh Goddess, please, I don't need-"

"I approve." Byleth says instantly. "You go alert the cooks and grab Annette. Take Marianne with you. I'll go collect everyone else."

"Got it Professor! C'mon Marianne, it'll be great!"

Marianne whimpers and hides her face in the boy's shirt. Is this some divine punishment from the Goddess? Her curse of bad luck? She just hopes this will be over quickly.

###

"I have no time for such frivolities!" Lysithea huffs. "You and the other children can have your little party. I need to study."

"You need food, and company." Byleth responds calmly. "Come."

"No."

"This is mandatory for the class."

"The Marianne hug party is mandatory?" The albino girl asks dryly. "Please tell me this is a joke."

"It's a joke."

"Good."

"Now come."

"But you said it was a joke!"

"You told me to say that. It isn't actually."

"Ugh…" The girl groans. "Come on Professor! What does that have to do with helping us improve our skills in warfare?"

"It has to do with helping Marianne, and as her classmate you are required to come… as is everyone else."

"You dragged the other Deer into this?"

"Everyone. The Eagles, the Lions, the Deer, some staff, and whoever else I could find." Byleth says honestly. "That includes you, because I have found you, even though you are small, because your hair stands out."

The girl's eyes narrow. "Are you trying to anger me?"

"No. I am stating facts. You are small." Byleth responds flatly. "Are you angry?"

"Slightly."

"Do you need a hug too?"

"No!"

Byleth's eyes narrow for a moment. "Maybe this party needs to be for you too…"

"No!"

"Yes. Now come."

Lysithea is about to turn away and just ignore the man. He doesn't give her the chance though, and grabs her by the collar. He carries her like one would a cat over to the dining hall, ignoring her protests the entire time. Lysithea is astonished to see at least a dozen people already present, with more slowly trickling in even as she watches.

A steady stream of people are also coming up to Marianne and embracing her. Even without Byleth there to enforce it, it seems people have embraced (pun very intended) the point of this impromptu party. Marianne seems be halfway between mortal embarrassment and breaking down in tears… or maybe just both at the same time.

Even the anti-social students have come out for this… or maybe they were the first ones dragged here. Felix is brooding in a corner, Bernadetta is hiding under a table, and Linhardt is resting on a bench.

Mercedes has taken up a position at Marianne's side. Lysithea has been aware she's sort of the mother figure to the rest of the Blue Lions, but those traits are very much on display here as well. She allows the girl to lean against her and massages Marianne's back with slow circles from her hand, all while murmuring soft reassurance to her as people come by to give their affection.

Maybe assuming Lysithea is too small to see, Byleth points to Marianne and Mercedes and says "Marianne is over there in the center, next to Marshmallow. Tell them I almost have everyone."

"I'm not your errand… and he's gone." The girl growls. "I suppose I have no choice then…"

###

"This is simply barbaric." Lorenz mutters. "Does the professor honestly think this is the proper way to treat a noblewoman?"

"Marianne looks like she's about to cry." Leonie adds. "I mean, I think that's a good thing this time though…"

"How could you say such a thing!?" The purple-haired man scoffs. "You wish to see her break down?"

"I mean… yeah." The girl replies. "She's always so distant and depressed-looking. If she's crying because she's not used to people caring so much, that's a good thing, right?"

"Well, when you put it that way, I suppose that could be true…"

"You two."

"Ah-!"

"Oh my-!"

The two deer quickly turn around to see the Professor standing behind them with his arms crossed. His expression is flat as usual, but the two students remember him throwing them in the lake just that morning, and it lends him a slight air of intimidation.

"Have you two given hugs yet?" He asks seriously.

"No, and why should we? The others have given her enough." Lorenz argues.

"It's mandatory." Byleth responds firmly. "You can't eat anything until you do it."

"You're joking." Leonie snorts. The man stares at her, and she murmurs. "Oh… you're not."

"Go, now." Byleth instructs. Then he pauses, and asks. "Do you know how to hug?"

"Of all the foolish questions… of course we do." Lorenz sighs. "Professor, have you ever met a person who doesn't know how?"

"Myself." The man says instantly.

"But you hug Mercedes all the time." Leonie interrupts.

"No, I indulge in her hair." The teacher says flatly. "That is not a hug."

Lorenz's eye twitches. How does this man function on a daily basis if he's lacking such basic social skills? How can he possibly be qualified to teach nobles such as himself? How does Mercedes handle this man on a daily basis?

"Well, better Mercedes than the rest of us…" He sighs. "Fine then. We will abide by your rule, arbitrary as it may be. Come Leonie."

"Come? I'm not a dog Lorenz."

"And yet you bark at Captain Jeralt's feet all day…"

"Excuse you!?"

###

The first tears are subtle, trailing down her cheeks almost invisibly. The tears don't stay that way for very long though. Soon they're streaming down Marianne's cheeks accompanied by sniffling, which swiftly devolves into outright sobbing. The girl hides her face in her hands, helpless to hide herself from the dozens of people in the room. She doesn't want to burden them more than she already has, but here she is bawling like an infant in the midst of all of them.

She's somewhat aware of the girl who's been sitting next to her, Mercedes she thinks, patting her on the back and stroking her hair and murmuring reassurances in her ear. She's also aware that the rest of the dining hall, which was abuzz with noise a moment ago, is now extremely quiet with nary a whisper to be heard. Marianne can feel all the eyes on her, even if she's covering her own eyes so she can't see them in return.

It stays that way for a few minutes as she tries desperately to get herself under control. She's sure she's soaked Mercedes' shirt by now with her tears, and made an absolute fool of herself in front of the entire school.

Eventually her sobbing becomes hiccups and her tears dry up, if only because she physically can't cry anymore. She opens her eyes and moves her hands to wipe her face, and when she does she can finally see the rest of the room, and can see everyone else's eyes on her. The entirety of the main classes from each house are here, as well as some of the teachers like Hanneman and Manuela and Byleth, and some miscellaneous people like Flayn, Cyril, and Alois. They're all looking at her with various levels of concern, sympathy, reassurance.

"Feeling better?" Mercedes asks softly.

"I-I'm s-so sorry." Marianne starts to babble hoarsely. Her eyes are red and puffy, and her hands shake slightly as she speaks. "I-I didn't mean to-"

"We won't take apologies for caring for you." A voice interrupts firmly. Marianne stares in surprise at Hilda pushing herself to the front of the crowd. "That's why we're here Marianne, for you. We wouldn't have come here if we didn't care."

"Of course." Another voice agrees. This one is Edelgard. Marianne doesn't recall ever actually talking to the girl, so her speaking up is surprising. "Miss Von Edmund. You need not ever apologize for being loved. Is it not up to you how much others are willing to risk for your presence… and if others have deemed your so-called curse not enough to deter them, it is not your place to feel guilty for that. Understood"

Marianne can't respond to that. She doesn't know if there's a good response to give. She doesn't feel like she's supposed to answer. All she can do is nod meekly.

"Good." Hilda smirks. "Now, let's have some food and some fun! At least until class starts in a few hours."

"At least until class starts? Are you saying my classes aren't fun?" Byleth frowns.

"Professor… there's only so much fun to be had with having sponges thrown at your face."

###

Byleth blinks owlishly. "Sick?"

"Marianne came in contact with a few dozen people in a short span of time while under emotional strain. I would be more surprised if she didn't get sick." Seteth sighs. "Incidentally, please give us an advance warning if you intend to hold such an event in the future. You cut into our food stores quite a bit."

"Okay."

There's silence for a moment. Byleth stares as if he expects Seteth to say something else, but when the green haired man doesn't continue, Byelth speaks again.

"Is she better now?"

"Pardon?"

"Is Marianne better, mentally?"

"Professor… such an issue as Marianne's cannot be solved with a few hugs." Seteth frowns. "That is not to say you did not help. Though next time you wish to help someone I suggest something less… public. People do not generally enjoy having their issues aired publicly, and results will generally be less positive than this time."

"Oh."

"Still, I applaud your dedication to the welfare of your students, crude as your methods may sometimes be." Seteth sighs. "Next time, do ask someone else for a second opinion before you organize such an event."

"I did. I asked Raphael."

"Ask someone aside from a student, before doing such a thing."

"Oh, okay."

This one's a bit shorter. I'll probably come up with more for the Golden Deer and throw them into a second miscellaneous chapter later, but this is what I could come up with so far.

Apparently I enjoy shoehorning Bernadetta and Mercedes into every chapter I do. Sue me. They're easily my two favourite characters. Also, the overarching plot of this chapter (the Marianne hug party) came purely from me thinking "damn, this girl needs a hug" when I first started looking into her. Byleth is going to try and make her feel better, whether she wants it or not.