8
The bar I followed Hank to wasn't too packed, but most of the tables were taken.
"Want to sit at the bar?" He asked and I just nodded and followed him over. I looked around at the place taking note of the pool tables off to the side and a few game machines on the other side.
"You and the team come here?" I asked and he nodded.
"Yeah. To celebrate and to remember fallen comrades." he said and I nodded looking at the bottle of beer brought to me. Hank seemed to have no issues drinking down his alcohol. But I just sipped it. He gave me a side glance.
"Not much of a drinker, I presume." he said and I shook my head.
"Not really. I was always afraid alcohol would bring back the dark memories in me and would somehow make me unhinged. I always want to be in a state of clearness." I said and he nodded raising his beer some.
"So why invite me here?" he asked, and I shrugged smiling some.
"I thought it would be something you'd like." I answered. He nodded, his eyes watching me with a hint of softness?
"So tell me if the bar scene isn't your thing, what is?" he asked. I smiled a bit more.
"You trying to get to know me?" I asked humorously. He smirked.
"I'm trying to get to know my detective, that is if you're trying to open up here." he said. I stared at him for a moment not feeling unsure. I've never really opened up to anyone who wasn't a part of my support group, but I nodded slowly.
"I can try." I replied softly and he nodded smiling lightly.
"I'll take it." he said. I knew I wouldn't really see this side of him again, so I knew I'd have to take all I could get. I remembered he asked a question and I looked up in thought.
"I liked to swim." I replied. He tilted his head to the side with an arched brow.
"Liked?" he asked. I nodded.
"After my parent's death, I didn't care about hobbies or doing anything that would bring me joy. I was in an out of foster care, surviving those who wished to hurt me and looking for anyone who was like me. As I got older, I just focused on my job." I replied. Hank's eyes never left my face as I spoke and he just nodded slowly.
"Well you have an impressive file. You've been quite a jewel to your other teams. Heard a lot of them didn't want to give you up." he said. I grinned running the tip of my middle finger around the spout of the bottle.
"I'm good at what I do." I answered and he nodded.
"Yes you are." he said. I noticed the look in his eyes, it was familiar. I've seen it before in two other men. No way. I was obviously hallucinating. The bartender approached and he looked worried.
"Something wrong with the beer, sweetheart? Noticed you haven't touched it?" he asked and I looked at him seeming embarrassed.
"Oh sorry. Don't have the stomach I guess. Can I get a coke?" I asked and he smiled.
"You got it." he said and winked before moving back down the bar. I smiled my thanks and heard Hank scoff humorously.
"Innocent charm." he said and I looked at confused by his words.
"What?" I asked and he motioned his head to the bartender.
"I've always wondered what it was about you that changed the tension in the air when around dangerous criminals. You've got an innocent charm about you that's hard to ignore. It's in the eyes." he said. I arched a brow not fully understanding.
"I don't understand." I replied. He quickly pointed to my face.
"There it is right there. Your eyes are soft and gentle like you've got nothing to hide." he said and I blinked and touched my cheeks.
"I don't have anything to hide though." I replied. He nodded as he stared at me as if searching my eyes for the truth. He nodded and looked ahead and when my coke was brought I smiled and thanked the man before looking back at Hank. "Would this be considered a weakness? I never knew I had this… innocent charm. If you notice it then everyone must notice this." He shook his head.
"Nah it's not a weakness. It's your most powerful ability." he said as if mildly amused. I nodded looking down feeling my mind blank on me as if it was already checking out of the conversation.
"If my family were still here, I would have continued swimming and painting and photography." I replied and Hank nodded smiling some.
"You're good. I've seen some of the sketches you have on the side of your desk." he said and I smiled a bit before looking him over.
"What about you, Hank? You got hobbies?" I asked.
"I'm not really a hobby guy." he said and I nodded.
"You married?" I asked before taking a sip of my coke. I received silence and glanced at him so see him staring at his beer.
"I was married once. She died. Cancer or so I've been told." he said flatly. A light frown was playing on his face. "She may have gone through a chemo overdose by her doctor. No one really knows. But I think he killed her." I stared at him for a moment watching the soft shade of anger spread through his orbs. His eyes knew pain, I could see it.
"I'm sorry." I replied softly. He nodded.
"I've made peace with it. Have you, made peace with your loss?" he asked. I parted my lips to speak, but no words came out. Why did I pause? I've been with my support group for years, but I never once asked myself if I was over my family's death.
"No." I said honestly looking at Hank now. "But I want to. Even after the man who destroyed my life was executed, I still felt really really really fucking sad."
"Maybe you need to speak to someone else, someone professional, not just a bunch of people who can tell you how their loved ones die, because I can guarantee you this will eat you alive if you don't." he said and I leaned back now from him as if he had just said something downright absurd.
"You're joking." I stated and he arched a brow.
"Does it look like I'm joking?" he asked and after trying to get his face to crack with my stare, which failed, I leaned back some.
"What can another group therapy session do that mine can't?" I asked seriously.
"Bring you peace. And not just a group. It's time you just talk to someone one on one." he said. Talk to someone one on one? Tell someone the dangerous thoughts I've actually thought of before? So they could lock me away and declare me a danger to the community or to myself? I'm a cop for gods sake. I can't have them looking at me different, I didn't want anyone to think I was crazy. Maybe this is what Remy felt. Overwhelming panic that he'd be ostracized by everyone around him. I looked away quickly at the thought, my mind starting to race now.
"Hey, hey, don't panic. It's okay. You don't have to do anything you don't want. I'm just suggesting it may be something you need, something new." Hank said quickly. I feel the warmth of his hand over mine and I found that really weird myself, but I just shook it off to a man concerned about his detective. I nodded finally and looked at him.
"Thanks. I'll see about it." I said. I think we both know it was empty words.
"Hey I know you're afraid of a change like this, but I care about you and I want you to be the best you can be. You deserve that much." he said. I looked away in thought before realizing he was right. Maybe talking to the same people for years and years on end was just me settling with acceptance of a dull existence. I mean working with the team was my only source of making me feel alive. I smiled with appreciation at Hank.
"Thank you." I replied and he nodded.
"You're welcome." he said. Out of the corner of my eye I could see his hand still atop of mine.
"Hey can I take you somewhere?" I asked lightly and he looked me over at first with reserve but soon it turned into a trusting look.
"Okay sure. Probably need to walk off this alcohol anyways." he said and I grinned and nodded and we both turned from each other. I pulled my wallet out of my small bag and when I turned back, I saw Hank's wallet in his hand, his eyes darting at my wallet then at me.
"Whatever it is you're thinking, think again." he commanded.
"I invited you, I should at least take care of you." I said and he shook his head.
"I've got this. Now put your money away." he stated. I did as I was told and watched as he paid the bartender and we headed out the door. "Okay so where to?" I pointed to his right. This bar was actually close to a familiar place I hadn't been to in years.
"This way." I replied and began to walk down the sidewalk. As I moved, I began to feel paranoia for being out this long with a coworker, that wasn't involved with a case. I mean the only time a kind of thing like this happens is when I am with Antonio. Maybe this was a bad idea. I mean I was sure he'd rather be home, I mean who knows what tomorrow will bring with these past murders. "Boss, are you sure you want to continue this night?" He looked at me with steely eyes.
"We're already walking. No turning back now." he said and I looked him up and down.
"True, but it'll be late. I'm sure you're going to be exhausted in the morning." I replied. He scoffed before smirking.
"You let me worry about what all I can handle." he said tucking his hands in his jacket pockets. "Where are we going anyways?" I looked ahead at the street lights as a trail of concrete veered off to the right.
"Somewhere I haven't taken anyone or even been to in a very long time." I replied. I didn't know why I decided to show Hank this place. Maybe it was because I couldn't show Antonio or even Cesar. But I knew Hank cared about me, took a while to show it, but he did. I just took this as a normal thing coworkers did afterwork. Even though, in the depth of my mind, Hank would never just do this with any of us, he did say yes to drinks. I had to assume he wanted to just get to know the inner me while he had the chance. I led him off the sidewalk and past a large brick sign that said Greenfield Cemetery.
Hank saw the sign and began to slow down some. He knew where I was taking him.
"Ashta, we don't have to do this. We don't have to do any of this." he said. I shrugged casually.
"It doesn't bother me anymore." I replied. "You don't have to come, but this is the only time I'll let you see this part of my life." No one else would get to see this.
Hank's POV
I could tell I was going down the path of breaking my own rules. No dating your partners. But then again when did I ever follow the rules? Ashta was an entirely different breed of woman and I couldn't deny that she intrigued me. I was curious to know what was going on in her mind. I couldn't tell if this curiosity was dangerous or not though. But hell, I'm willing to follow her into a cemetery to find out. I assumed we were going to her family's graves.
And I was right. She walked off the trail and past numerous graves that were covered in vines and insects. The place wasn't spooky though. Honestly, it was peaceful and beautiful. It was a large field of graves with numerous trails, so you didn't walk over any of the dead. Ashta remained in the middle of the trail, observing each stone she passed with respect and care. As she walked, I found my eyes roaming down her body. I wasn't blind and I was no fool. I saw the way some of the guys in the squad looked at her when she first arrived. They weren't really hiding the fact they were checking her out and after noticing that, I came to the conclusion that she would be too much of a distraction. I even began writing up the paper work for her transfer that same day, but what reason did I have to move her? Because my men couldn't control their eyes. No I wouldn't do a cop dirty like that, it wasn't her fault. As they all worked together though, the stares stopped.
She had curves that much was true, a nice round bottom and was supporting double ds. I knew I shouldn't be paying this close attention to my subordinate, but I couldn't help it. I guess I could understand why she and Antonio were sleeping around. Oh yeah, I knew all about that. I found out through video footage of the parking garage. I look over it every so often to make sure bums weren't hiding or sleeping out there. They'd sleep about anywhere with a sturdy roof over their heads. A few months ago, I saw them walking to their cars when Antonio grabbed her pulled her into him. At first, I was concerned because Ashta pushed back from him in shock.
But she gave in, moved into his embraced and shared a heated kiss I had never seen before. It was deep and filled with raw emotion. I should have ended it right there. My rules were meant to be followed even if I have to break them sometimes. Antonio was my boy, and I knew I'd be having a talk with him tomorrow before the support group members came in. I'd have no distractions on my team.
Ashta's POV
Hank followed behind me in silence which I didn't mind so much as we finally neared the four heads stones. I stopped and turned to the four stones. I didn't move from the trail, because I didn't have to. Hank stood beside me and just stared at them with respect.
"William, Anita, Daniel and Nathan Leviason." he said, and I closed my eyes slowly and looked down.
"He butchered them. They were screaming and begging for their lives… and he butchered them. And I heard that he did not even beg or cry or even show shame before they electrocuted him. In some way he won." I said softly and took calm even breaths. I just stared at the graves. "You said I had an innocent charm about me. It's in my eyes, maybe the Butcher saw that in me too, and wanted to destroy that about me."
"Your family may be gone, Ashta Leviason, but you're still here. You've proven that the horrors of life haven't won over you. They live on through you. They wouldn't want you hurting or suffering everyday of your life." he said, and I just nodded as I stared at the ground in front of their graves. I felt the sadness wash over me now as I felt it would.
"Hadn't been back here for months… things are too real. This is my reality it feels." I said.
"Your reality is everyday you get up and put on that badge and gun and go out into this dangerous city and protect its people." he explained. "You're a damn good cop and I'm grateful to have you on my team."
I looked at him now and smiled slowly at his words.
"Thank you, Hank. I feel a lot better." I replied and he smiled giving a nod.
"You're welcome." he said. I smiled and looked at the sky for a moment closing my eyes once more. 'I love you guys'. I opened my eyes and looked at Hank. Him being here took a lot of weight off my shoulders.
"Well that's enough depression for one day." I said and he nodded and we moved back toward the sidewalk of the town. "Tomorrow, the precinct may be full of people. If any others on the team are going to speak, you can't be hard on them. They may shut down and walk out." Hank nodded and glanced at me.
"We'll do what we got to do." he said. I nodded knowing he was right.
"I'm sorry, Cesar wasn't helpful." I said and he shook his head.
"Don't be. I have all that I need to know about him." he said. I wanted to ask what he meant until three dudes started to walk our way.
"Hey baby, what's a girl like you doing with an old man like him?" one of them called. In unison, Hank and I pulled up our shirts to reveal our badge and guns and they raised their hands in defense and parted for us to walk by. Like we were going to stop our walk for them. He smirked.
"You ain't embarrassed being seen with an old man are ya?" Hank teased and I smirked.
"Not at all. You're everything I could want and more." I said wrapping my arms around him and batting my eye lashes and we shared a laugh as we kept moving. It was completely out of character for me, but seeing him laugh, made me relieved. Once we were at our cars, I looked up at Hank with a smile.
"Goodnight, sir." I said and moved over to my car.
"Goodnight." he said, and I unlocked my car and opened it. "Hey Levi." I paused and turned to him.
"Sir?" I asked. He just stared at me for a moment, eyes looking deep and fixed on me.
"You want to do this again, sometime?" he asked. I looked him over.
"You mean just us or with the team?" I asked and he shook his head.
"Not the team, just us." he stated. Why? I wanted to ask. I mean tonight was just taking a step out of my comfort zone to get a small glimpse of what it was like to socialize. Is that what he wanted, to socialize? I shrugged. Guess it wouldn't hurt if it was just us two.
"Yes." I replied and he just nodded and got in his car. I got into mine as well and we parted until tomorrow.