A/N: Prepare to read over 3,200 words.
"Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit…" mumbled Ford as he sprinted through the dense Oregon forest. It took him fifteen minutes to get to the Shack, barely enough time to end Bill once and for all. His throats was hot and dry, and his legs were burning like the dickens, but he kept pushing. He was gonna go everything in his power to make sure that Dipper's nightmare won't come true.
He rushed into the gift shop. Where in hell could the statue be? He asked himself. Where's the only place with locks in the house besides the bathrooms? Of course, the office! He sprinted towards the office.
"Hey, Mr. Pines, is there something I can help you with?" Asked Soos as Ford ran by him.
"Where is the statue?" Asked Ford, anxiousness and nervousness rising in his voice.
"The statue? Oh yeah, it's in the office." Said Soos.
Ford patted his pockets. Dammit. I lost my keys."Can you open it up for me?"
"Sure, dawg." Said Soos. He paused. "Wait, how do I know it's really you and not some impostor?" Soos's eyes narrowed.
"Soos, I really don't have the time for this." Said Ford impatiently.
"That's exactly what an impostor would say!" Said Soos, pointing his finger at Ford.
"What the hell are you talking about? It's me, Stanford!" He waved his arms about.
"I told Dipper that u would guard this room with my life. I'm not allowing anyone in."
"Soos, get out of the way. The fate of our entire dimension depends on it." Said Ford as he swiped the keys from Soos.
Soos took the keys and pushed Ford back. "No can do. You're not tricking me."
"You don't know what you're dealing with. Stand down before someone gets hurt."
"Big mistake, dude. I've taken martial arts classes and almost mastered in them."
"You really don't want to do this, Soos. Now stand down now before Dipper dies."
"You're lying. You're trying to trick me. I won't let Dipper down."
"If you keep this up, there will be no Dipper to let down. Now, STAND ASIDE." Said Ford as he swiped the keys and started inserting the key into the lock.
"Noooooooooo!" Screamed Soos, but in a dark, hellish voice as he side tackled Ford, knocking the keys out of his hand.
"Uhn!" Grunted Ford from the hard impact. "Wait, I remember that voice…" he started, until Soos started convulsing and transformed into the ugly beast in front of Ford.
"The Shapeshifter!" Gasped Ford. The Shapeshifter laughed.
"It is I, Stanford Fillbrick Pines."
"How is that possible? How did you escape?"
"Your buddy Bill Cipher let me out. He offered me to be his right hand man in the destruction of your world. At last, I shall get my revenge. And the best part is I can rough you up a bit." The Shapeshifter cracked its knuckles.
"Stand aside, Shapeshifter. Don't fall for Bill's flattery. He'll trick you once he gets the chance."
"Maybe he will, maybe he won't. It doesn't matter to me as long as I'm out of that damn cryogenic chamber. It was cold in there. Why wasn't I offered a blanket?"
This question froze Ford. "I, uh, actually, I don't-UHN!" He grunted as the shapeshifter shoulder checked him, sending him flying. He slowly got back up and spat out some blood. "You… never… asked… for… one. Wait a minute… where's Soos and the other employees?"
"Oh, them? I just knocked them out. Don't worry, they shouldn't be too broken." Said the Shapeshifter coldly.
"Listen, I'm sorry for how I treated you, but the fate of our entire universe depends on me!" Pleaded Ford. He needs to get in there and head back. Not only for the universe's sake, but also for Dipper's sake.
"Sorry freak. I've got orders."
"Well, if it's a fight you want, it's a fight you'll get." Said Ford as he put on his electron gloves, humming in power.
The Shapeshifter sighed. "You are going to regret this." He said before they charged and clashed into battle.
. . . .
It was silent.
Peacefully silent.
The aroma of lightly burning candles fill the darkened church. It is nearly vacant, except for one person. A priest, silently praying in the pews. His eyes were closed as he concentrated in prayer, making sure that nothing interrupted his private time with the one above.
He opened his eyes. Sunlight poked through the stained glass murals on the right side of the church, making the church floor a calming blue. He closed his eyes again.
That's when he started hearing noises.
Crack. He opened his eyes suddenly. Stress crept on his face. He knew that those sounds weren't natural.
Bang. "Uhn!" Boom. Thud. Sweat started slowly dripping down the priest's face. The sounds were getting louder, or they were coming nearer.
The priest decided to end his praying session a little early to investigate what's making those gut-wrenching sounds. He genuflected to the altar and started heading to the back of the church, where the exit is.
It didn't take very long for the priest to figure out what was making those sounds.
One last crack was heard, until a crash pierced the silence of the church, and the priest looked to the left and he couldn't believe his eyes.
Someone, or something had crashed through one of the glass-stained murals on the wall of the church. It left a giant exposed hole, where the sun poked through prominently. It smashed against the pew before it thumped back on the floor. The priest recognized it as a teenage boy. His clothes were ripped to shreds and cuts were everywhere on the teenager's body. His hat had fallen off his head and traveled a couple of feet before stopping.
"Oh my goodness!" Said the priest as he ran over and kneeled to the boy's side. He was barely conscious. "What happened to you?"
The boy coughed up a little blood, but as he started to answer, a figure covered the prominent sunshine that once poked through the broken mural. The priest turned around to see another teenage boy, with blonde hair, standing on the base of the window. He also noticed that the blonde haired boy summoned blue fire from his hands.
"Get back, demon!" Said the priest, pulling out a miniature cross and a rosary. "Go back to Satan!"
"Satan, you say?" Said the blonde-haired boy. "I met him a couple of times before. I like his work."
"Back! Why must you attack this young man?"
"Listen, I'd love to chat, but I've got a very busy schedule ahead of me, so if you could let go of Dipper Pines, and I'll be on my way."
"As a priest and a United States citizen, I will not let you kill this young man."
"Too bad. I kinda liked you." The boy ignited his hands with blue flames as he shot a fireball at the priest, hitting him square in the stomach. The priest grimaced in pain and toppled over, his hands holding on the wound.
"Bill, you're going to wish you never did that." Said Dipper as he somehow managed to find the will to rise again. "This time you've taken it way too far, and today, your reign will end!"
Bill only laughed. "Yeah, right. You're the one bleeding all over the place. But I will admit, you're a tank. I thought you would be dead by now."
Dipper smiled. "What can I say? Us Pines' are known to be fighters."
Bill suddenly backhanded Dipper. Dipper spat blood as he was slapped, spraying the church floor. Each blow is starting to become more painful, meaning that the pill's effect is starting to wear off. Dipper's running out of time, and he knew it. He needed Ford back. He got back to his senses and faced Bill once more.
Dipper smiled at Bill once again, showing Bill his bloody teeth. "Come on, you hit like a baby. I've known bullies half my age who hit harder."
Bill, in rage, backhanded Dipper again, but this time he did so with a clenched fist. The pain doubled, and Dipper flew five feet back, crashing against the church pew. A disgusting moan escaped his lips. He tried to get back up, but Bill already picked him up and off the ground.
He held Dipper by the neck and pulled him closer to his face. "I'm not playing nice guy anymore. If you want pain, then it's pain you'll get!" Right after saying that, Bill threw Dipper through the other side of the church, sending him crashing through another glass mural.
Crash. Thump. "Uhn." Silence.
Dipper coughed up some more blood. The pain is really starting to kick in. In retrospect it probably wasn't a good idea to piss Bill off. He tried to get up again…
Bill jumped from the base of the church window and landed on top of Dipper, delivering a nasty kick right in his gut. He remained on top of Dipper. Dipper's mouth became a fountain of his own blood. He became desperate to find any way to gain an advantage.
Then he saw it.
A decently sized chunk of broken glass from the mural. This is just the break that Dipper needs.
Without hesitation, he reached and picked the shard up and jabbed it into Bill's left leg, causing a bloodcurdling scream before Dipper was kicked once more in the face before Bill finally got off of him.
Dipper ran for it.
He booked it, sprinting and limping at the same time towards the safety of the forest trees again.
"Where the fuck do you think you're going?" Bill shot a fireball, hitting Dipper in the back, knocking him over. When he hit the ground, he noticed a body lying on the forest ground.
Mabel.
Dipper quickly shoved the glass shard in his pocket before Bill picked him up once again.
"You are a serious pain in my ass. It'll be nice not seeing you again." Said Bill, spitting in Dipper's face.
Dipper fished both of his hands in both of his pockets without Bill noticing. He inconspicuously pulls out the glass shard and his pocket knife.
"How about you not see me now?" Said Dipper as he jabbed the glass shard and the pocket knife into both of Bill's eyes. Blood immediately gushed out of Bill's eye sockets, flowing down his face.
"AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGHHHH!" Shrieked Bill. He tightened his clench on Dipper's neck, cutting his skin, before throwing Dipper hard into the ground once more. "That hurts so much more than my one eye! FUCK!"
Dipper side-kicked Bill's legs, tripping him. This should buy him enough time. He looked over to Mabel, who was barely conscious.
"Mabel?" He said hoarsely. He crawled over to her.
"Uhn…" said Mabel as she sat up and rubbed her head. A fresh stream of blood streaked down her nose. Dipper gasped. She looked nearly broken. Almost as hurt as she was in his nightmare. "Dipper?" She peeped one eye open and she looked at him.
"Oh my god, Dipper…" said Mabel, at a loss of words. Dipper looked like he went through a blender. Twice.
"Mabel, get up. Now." Said Dipper. "We have to move now or we're dead."
That snapped Mabel out of her trance.
They helped each other out as they climbed up the hill, and came back into the clearing where the fight began.
They limped over to where Stan still lied unconscious. They sat down, exhausted.
"What the hell do we do now?" Asked Mabel.
"I guess we stick to the plan and keep Bill busy."
"I don't know, Dipper. We can't stall him forever."
"I'm well aware of that, Mabel. I guess the best thing we can do is hope that Ford's coming soon."
"Speaking of which, why isn't Bill like killing us right now?"
"I may or may not have potentially blinded him." Said Dipper proudly. He tried to puff his chest out, but it made him cough up a little blood, causing him to slouch up again.
"Look at you… you're a mess." Said Mabel.
"I'm fine." Said Dipper weakly.
"I guess the invulnerability pill really works, huh?"
"I guess so."
"Does it work now?"
"It started wearing off ten minutes ago."
"Do you think it still works?"
"I sure as hell hope so, or we better pray that Grunkle Ford comes back in time. Something tells me that jabbing Bill in the eyes is only something temporary. I hope he comes back soon."
"Pffff, don't worry, Dipper! Grunkle Ford is fine!"
. . . .
Ford was not fine.
His encounter with the Shapeshifter had taken a serious toll on his body.
"Uhn." He managed to groan. It still boggled his mind that he actually managed to incarcerate the Shapeshifter.
He stood over the Shapeshifter's limp body. He admitted that he felt some remorse for how he treated the Shapeshifter. But Ford's got more important things to attend to.
Speaking of which…
Ford cocked his head to the door of the office. He took out the keys and fiddled with them in his bloody fingers until he found the right one. He inserted the key into the lock and opened the door…
Ford gasped and dropped the keys.
The statue.
The statue was broken.
That's exactly what Ford did not want. This just made the entire trip down pointless. The ritual would've only worked if the statue was fully intact.
"Dammit." He said in frustration. He wasted all of that time. Unless…
He gathered all of the parts that broke off the statue.
"This is going to take a miracle…" he muttered to himself. He then took out an eye dropper filled with the alien adhesive that was supposed to be used to seal up the rift. "I hope this works."
Ford suddenly remembered about the others facing Bill. He sped up his work as fast as possible.
Just another dollop or two and we're good to go. He thought to himself. He knew he's run out of time. His estimated time of the pill wearing off its properties had passed five minutes ago.
Soon enough the statue was put back together again (unlike Humpty Dumpty) and with a swish of his cloak and the creaking of the spinning office chair that he just sat in, Ford was off, racing to the bunker, praying that he wasn't too late.
. . . .
It was a very convenient time for Stan to wake up. He couldn't have timed it better, even if he tried.
He's not a genius, but he knows that the 15 year old twins need him right now.
He hugged the two twins, who embraced his hug.
"Kids!" He said hoarsely as he squeezed them tight. When they broke apart, Stan stared at Dipper. "Whoa, Dipper. You alright?"
"I'm fine, for the time being. Bill will be back any second now, and Great uncle Ford hasn't arrived yet." Said Dipper.
"What do we do if Bill comes back before Grunkle Ford?" Asked Mabel.
"To be honest, I have no idea. I'd still be going toe to toe with him if I could, but the pill most likely wore off. So keeping Bill busy like we were wouldn't work or all of us would be dead."
"I've got nothing." Said Mabel.
"I got nothing." Said Stan.
"Looks like we're out of ideas." Said Dipper.
"Well, what can we do now? We can't just stand here and die! Oh shit, were toast!" Said Mabel.
Stan pondered. "Wait, Mabel, say that again."
"Oh shit, we're toast?"
"No no, the other one."
"What can we do now?"
"No, the other one."
"We can't just stand here and die?"
"There we go. I have an idea, though it's probably really shitty."
"Any idea's better than no idea." Said Dipper.
"Ok, if you insist. We just hide until Ford comes back."
"I guess we got nothing to lose. Wait, do you hear that?" Said Dipper. They all hushed and stayed silent.
Sure enough, there was crunching on the forest floor nearby. They scrambled to get out of the clearing behind a bush, and did so just in time before a figure sprinted into the clearing.
Through the bushes, they couldn't see the figure clearly. All three of them hoped that the figure was Ford, but it's better safe than sorry.
Dipper volunteered to take a closer look at the figure. He silently backed up from the bushes and hid behind a tree to take a closer look.
The figure appeared to be searching for something, or someone.
Dipper narrowed his eyes. As he came into a clearer focus, he noticed the familiar tan overcoat with patches on the elbows. Dipper breathed a sigh of relief as he mouthed to the other two "it's Ford."
They simultaneously came out of the shrubbery and back into the clearing. Ford turned around and smiled weakly, but said nothing.
"Great uncle Ford!" Said Dipper as he came over to him. "You've got the stuff to end Bill once and for all." Ford gave Dipper a blank stare.
"You do have it, don't you?" Continued Dipper as he backed up a step.
Ford was about to say something, until another loud rustle and a booming voice said "HEY!"
All four of them turned their heads around to see…
Ford?!
"Wait, WHAT?!" Said Mabel in confusion.
Dipper, Mabel, and Stan turned back to Ford #1.
"What the hell's going on here?" Asked Stan to Ford #1.
"Don't trust him, Stanley! It's an impostor!" Said Ford #2 behind them. A chill ran down all three's spines. That was Ford's voice.
As they turned around again to face Ford #1 before they were attacked.
First, Mabel was raised and thrown twenty feet back, landing with a rough thump. Her body went limp.
Stan got kicked in the nuts. It was as hard, if not harder, than he had given to Bill. He was socked in the face and thrown into a tree right on his back.
Last but definitely worst, Dipper took the full fury from the Ford doppelgänger. Punch, kick, head butt, backhand. Let's just say that Dipper was getting the shit beaten out of him.
Before the doppelgänger finished, he summoned a blue fireball from his hand, and smashed it on Dipper's face, sending him flying.
Dipper landed right at Ford #2's feet. He was very slow to get up. If the pill was still working, it surely would've expired by then. Ford #2 helped Dipper up.
"Great uncle Ford? Is that really you?" Asked Dipper.
"Yes, *****. It's really me." Said Ford. (The asterisks are meant to be Dipper's real name. Since I'm a good egg I won't reveal it.)
"Please tell me you've got the statue and all the other stuff." Said Dipper.
"Yes, I've got it, but I'm not 100% sure it'll work."
"What?"
"The statue was broken, so I used the alien adhesive to put it back together."
"Well, SHIT." Said Dipper frankly. "And it looks like we're the only ones conscious at the moment. Great."
"Here, Dipper take this." Said Ford, handing him what looks like a miniature version of the Quantum Destabilizer. "This should at least do something."
How reassuring.
Dipper faced where the doppelgänger stood, only to see he has disappeared.
"Uh, Great uncle Ford?"
Ford looked over and sweat started beading on his face.
"Peekaboo." Said Bill, still disguised as Ford before attacking them by surprise.
A/N: Ladies and gentlemen, chapter 15. Probably the longest chapter in this story. As always, review. I love the support.