12

As they watched, Oswald knelt in prayer, and was enveloped in a purplish light. Thomas paid no mind to the miracle. He recognized it already. His thoughts were embroiled more as to why Oswald was here, and as an invading blue spirit, at that. The Pardoner never leaves his post! And he's never invaded! Why is he here? Oswald charged forward, and Thomas' companions reacted faster than Thomas himself did. Oscar fired his bow, Solaire threw a lightning bolt, and Rhea launched Emit Force. Oswald avoided all but the last, and was knocked backwards by the force of her miracle. Thomas rushed forward, drawing his claymore and stabbing it into the Pardoner's sword arm, impaling it to the ground. Standing on Oswald's talisman hand, he then addressed the bishop of Velka. "Ozzy. Ozz-Man. Oswald. I'm curious. Humor me, if you will..." Oscar moved closer, arrow aimed at Oswald's head as Thomas asked "what in the ever loving FUCK did I do?!" Oswald's face was hard to read, partially due to his mask, but also owing to his phantom status. His sword hand, still pinned at the arm by Thomas' claymore, curled into the universally recognized gesture that one could go procreate with themselves. "Can't speak as a phantom, eh?" Thomas grumbled. "Fine. Rhea, if I could borrow your battlestaff?"

Rhea came forward, talisman in her other hand. Taking the staff, Thomas pointed one end of the weapon to Oswald's throat. "Have a nice death. We'll be seeing you soon with questions. I'd appreciate if you allowed us to ask them. I'd appreciate it further if you answered them." Then, without flourish, Thomas thrust, slaying the phantom.

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Thomas stood at the rooftop of the Parish, where he and the Knights of Astora fought the gargoyles. His companions were in an impromptu diamond formation behind him. Oscar was on the left, spear and shield ready. Solaire had his signature straight sword in one hand, and his talisman in the other. Rhea had her twinblade staff on her back, while she prioritized holding her own talisman. Thomas, contrarily, was unarmed. His claymore was sheathed on his back, his balder shield was, likewise, placed on his back. Catalyst and talisman were both in their belt, accessible, but not out of reach. Near the center of the roof, Oswald stood. His hand was on his weapon, but not drawn. His thumb was hooked under his belt, next to his talisman, but also remained in place. "Well, heretic. Ask your questions. I shall allow you to die with your curiousity sated. That shall be the extent of my mercy."

All right. Keep it short, keep it simple. "First question, how long have you worked for Gwyndolin?"

Oswald simply laughed. "I do not. He gets his authority from the goddess Velka, whom I serve. You have been judged as having unpardonable sin. Therefore I cannot let you live. Any more questions?"

Thomas thought for a brief second, taking it in. "What do you mean by unpardonable sin? I have done nothing wrong. What did I do that was so vile, Oswald of Carim felt the need to slay me, personally?"

"Your attempt at flattery will not spare you," Oswald's voice held a hard edge. "And you know your sin full well. You have the power of the enemies of the Lords. A fragment, maybe, but the Lords are not interested in seeing you obtain more. Therefore, you are to be eliminated."

"Wait a sec," Thomas asked. "You're telling me that I pissed off the gods because of a miracle I accidentally invented? Can't I just not use Stone Flesh anymore and we can call it good?"

"This much Sin cannot be cleansed. Therefore, you must be purged, lest you taint the world." At this, Oswald drew his sword, and Thomas did the same preparatorily. "I tire of your questions, False Prophet. You shall fall here and now."

"No."

Rhea's voice was different from how it usually sounded. Normally it held a small quavering of self-doubt, and a lack of confidence. But now, her voice was confident. And angry. "Thou shalt not touch him." She strode forward, standing in front of Thomas with her Twinblade Staff in hand.

"Oho," Oswald chuckled. "Dost thou abandon the gods so easily?"

"Only as readily as they abandoned me. As they have abandoned Thorolund. If Thomas a false prophet be, I will take his false prophecies upon any day, for they have done me no wrong." Thomas found himself touched by her speech, and noticed that Oscar and Solaire had moved up. The diamond formation had effectively reversed, with Thomas at the rear, and Rhea at the front.

"If I may," Oscar ventured, "I have a question of my own."

Oswald was exasperated. "What is it this time, you heathen?"

Oscar's voice practically dripped venom. "Have you made peace with Velka? Because on this night you shall go to meet her."

"Holy shit," Thomas muttered. "That's a classy line."

"Enough!" Oswald shouted. "Thou shalt perish here and now!" he knelt to cast Karmic Justice, but was quickly stopped by a combination of Oscar's bow and Oswald's lack of poise. Growling in annoyance. Oswald dropped into a low crouch to duck another arrow, and charged.

Needless to say, charging alone against two highly skilled knights and a knowledgeable sorcerer, not to mention a pissed cleric, was the last mistake that Velka's pardoner would make. Solaire blocked his strike, sending Oswald off balance as Oscar struck a couple times with his spear. Then Rhea cut him down in a flurry of fury.

"Thou shalt regret this..." Oswald coughed, red blood covering his otherwise immaculate black coat. "Thou shalt fear... thine indelible wrongdoings."

Rhea knelt next to Oswald, taking his rapier. "I shalt regret naught. You brought this upon yourself, Paroner." and with that, she drove his weapon into his heart.

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Invaded by Spirit of Vengeance 1_Wng_Angeal

Invaded by Forest Hunter The Black Bow

"Okay seriously what the serious fuck is going on!" Thomas was practically shaking, shield out as he looked around. "Back to back, guys, back to back!" They crowded to each other, keeping backs towards one another as Thomas spied what he suspected was 1_Wng_Angeal. Black Leather Leggings and Gloves, Thief Mask, and Pardoner Robes. An eastern sword, not immediately identifiable which one, was in their hand, and a Darkmoon Talisman was in the other, applying Darkmoon Blade to it. Great. A knockoff Sephiroth. "Oscar! Your bow!" The warrior switched to it, and immediately began firing. The Darkmoon Blade's flip dodges quickly told them how effective that strategy would be. "Save your arrows. We'll-"

As Thomas was speaking, a hail of arrows flew over his shoulder, narrowly missing his ear. They landed all around the Blade of the Darkmoon, and then exploded, eliciting a cry from both Rhea and Thomas.

Spirit of Vengeance 1_Wng_Angeal has been vanquished.

"Oscar, did you..."

"No, prophet." Turning, Thomas saw a blue phantom standing at the doorway to the Parish, bow drawn. Four seperate arrows were fitted to the string, but none of them were pointed at Thomas, Oscar, Rhea, or Solaire. The bow was long and black, so large that the bow was held almost vertically. Atop the woman's head was a signature hat.

"Jesus Christ, I never thought I'd be this glad to see you, Pharis." Thomas relaxed just a bit, then immediately tensed as Pharis fired her arrows, all at once. Each one found a mark in a different blue phantom that was creeping over with rings of fog equipped. The Sorcerer's jaw dropped. He read that Pharis was a legendary archer of great renown, but to see her in action for himself... Skill like that was never even hinted at in game. FromSoft, you really fucked up in doing this woman justice. Walking forward, Thomas lowered his claymore, a gesture of non-hostility. "Thank the gods you showed up, Pharis. These Dorkmoons showed up out of nowhere. And when I saw your invasion warning, I was worried that the Forest Hunters were after me as well and-"

Pharis punched him in the jaw. Her lips then started to move. A lot. And while, as a phantom, she was unable to talk, her general body language made it clear that she was beyond pissed at something Thomas did. "Okay Pharis, I don't know if you can hear yourself, but I can't hear you. Phantoms can't talk. Try and use your body language." Pharis punched him again. "Christ! Okay, I get it, you're mad at me. If that's all you have to say..." At this, Pharis launched into more exasperbated gestures, when Oscar perked up.

"Hang on. I recognize some of these. We were taught these in the Ascoran military to be able to communicate silently, when need be. How did you come across them, Archer?" Pharis responded by slashing the air with her hand. "Not important. All right, then tell us what is important." Pharis launched into a series of gestures, then, to which Oscar attempted to translate.

"All right, let's see. 'Thomas is a', you know what, I'm not going to translate that. Get to the point, please." Pharis rolled her eyes, and then complied. "She says we need to 'Get back on task, time is of the essence, hurry up, get moving', HEY!" Oscar stumbled backwards as Pharis drew and fired once, twice, three times, the arrrows landing into the skull of a Blade of Darkmoon. "All right, we get it. Get moving. Ring bells. You'll contact us later?" Pharis nodded, and gave another signal. "'Personally'. Joy."

Thomas had heard enough. " all right, fuck grinding for green titanite shards, apparently. We have to get side tracked by Gwyndolin's fanboys." He barely dodged another punch in the face. "All right, all right! Keep your trousers on. We're going!" Without a word, Thomas turned and started jogging, Rhea and the Astoran knights following suit. An arrow exploded in front of Thomas, and he turned, exasperated. "What now?!" Pharis raised a fist in salute, but she had her pinky and index fingers extended as she did so. The gesture of "rock on" from Thomas' world. "I'll take that as a good luck," Thomas said, before he started running again.

They stopped at the Sunlight Altar bonfire, resting up and replenishing Estus and spells before crossing the bridge. Thomas opened the door, and they descended into the lower undead burg. At Thomas' direction, they approached a door, and Thomas started fiddling with his keys before fitting it in, and opening the door. Inside was a pale sorcerer with brown hair, wearing black Sorcerer robes. "Hello, Griggs," smiled Thomas.

"Hello," Griggs responded amicably. "I'm afraid that I don't know you? I don't mean to be ungrateful. It's just..."

Thomas kept his grin up. "I'm a prophet of the Eternal Fire Beast, Ormagöden. It was his sight that let me know you were trapped here, and how to release you. I also know you offer to train me in sorcery at Firelink, but frankly, we have no time. Teach me here."

Griggs looked at him blankly. "what? But I've only just been released. And my work..."

Thomas cut in. "I am 75% sure that there is an angry goddess stomping about the Burg right now. You want to teach me the spells, and then get to Firelink as quickly as possible. It's the safest place in Lordran." I hope. At the mention of an "angry goddess", Griggs paled further than usual.

"On second thought... What do you want to know?" Thomas bought Magic Weapon, Magic Shield, Fall Control, Aural Decoy, and Homing Soulmass, before letting Griggs go, who muttered, casting a couple spells, and vanishing, noiselessly running away.

"Right," Thomas clapped. "That done, we need to get to the Depths as quickly as possible. It is time for a good old fashioned speedrun."

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The thieves of the Burg posed absolutely no challenge to the party, though Thomas did appreciate the loot of getting a Hollow Thief Hood. He liked the air of mystery that surrounded a person wearing them. And besides, he may need the anonymity soon, with Gwyndolin being as up his ass as he was. And I have no time to go back for the rusted iron ring, or even to buy some moss... You know what, fuck it. I'm buying the fucking moss, and then getting the doll and the ring.I'll just need to come back for the slab after I kill Gwyndolin. It's worth the risk. That decided, Thomas stopped everyone at the fog wall to the Capra Demon. "Actually..." He thought for a moment. "Oscar. You remember the Asylum?"

Oscar looked confused at him, and then nodded. "Why do you ask?"

"Simple. I need you to fetch some things for me. They'll be essential to the journey ahead." Thomas detailed the plans, and where Oscar had to go. "Remember, Time is of the essence. Gwyndolin's hunting me, so you should probably be fine on your own. We'll wait for you at the Bonfire in the Depths. You'll see it."

Solaire stepped forward. "I would like to go with him."

"Sure," Thomas accepted. "Buddy system. Me and Rhea will clear the path for you. By the way, on your way up the stairs, buy some moss from the merchant. The purple moss and the purple moss with the blossoms. Reds are fucking useless, don't bother."

"Right," Oscar nodded. "Let us go, Brother."

"Praise the Sun!"