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The beach was always empty during dawn.
The water was too cold for the children to swim, the sun wasn't bright enough to give the adults their much-coveted tan, and most couples preferred to walk alongside the shore during the sunset.
That's what made it the perfect time to train.
"Hello everyone!" Larry announced with an electronic speaker. "And welcome to Larry's Intensively Generalized and Healthy Training! Don't let the name deceive you, I can assure you my training sessions are anything but light. At first, your body will scream and burn, but nothing of value comes without pain!"
Larry put down the speaker and smiled to his enthusiastic pupils.
Pupil, if he had to be honest.
I posted more than 300 posters all around town…and only one person came, Larry thought without letting his disappointment show on his face, I should take a marketing course online or something. Oh well, let's see what I've got to work with.
Larry came closer to his only attendee and inspected him subtly as he greeted him. Skinny, one-eyed and somewhat short. Reminds me of someone, this curious fellow. He'll have to work very hard to see results, but at least he seems to be motivated.
"Tell me dude, why're you here?" Larry asked him as he showed off his muscles "Do you want to put some muscles in your body? Maybe you want to have a better stamina? Or perhaps you're training to get into one of those fancy bodybuilding contests? I've won more than ten of them myself, you know. Just saying."
I mean, I really doubt someone as scraggly as you would be accepted even in the lightest category, but I'm not here to judge…
The other guy pumped out his chest and stomped one foot on the sand. "I'm here because I want to become a better version of myself…", he exclaimed to the sky. His voice was louder that Larry's when he had used the speaker, "…so I can finally meet my wife!"
"Meet your wife?" Larry asked, "like, meet her for the first time?"
"That's right, my overly exercised trainer." The other guy answered him with pride.
Larry squinted as he processed the information. "Makes perfect sense to me!" he shrugged. "Okay then! Given your complexion, maybe we should start with a muscle toning workout plan so you can put some meat on those bony limbs of yours."
"Bony? Who are you calling bony, you Neanderthal?!"
"You'll have to a follow a protein rich diet too. Are you fond of the idea of having raw eggs for breakfast?"
"Only if I can turn them into an omelette before eating them."
"Hey!" A happy, enthusiastic voiced interrupted them. Larry's grin widened when he saw that three more clients had arrived. "JimBob! I'm glad you decided to come. Sandy, I knew you wouldn't let me down."
He greeted them both with a high five before speaking to the last one, "Manward? Is that you?"
"No, I'm his equally handsome twin." Manward gave him a mocking smile, "Now, if obvious question time is over, I'd very much like to begin with this free training session. I didn't wake up so early in the morning on my only free day just to have a walk on the beach with you, the lunatic duo over there and that weirdo."
"Free?" Larry's laughed as if he had heard the funniest joke. "Woah, easy there dude. I'm sorry to break it to you, but this session isn't free! The price is perfectly stated in the poster—"
"You mean this?" Manward took a folded poster from his pocket and showed it to Larry. It read 'come this Sunday morning to Larry's first LIGHT training session on the beach!' "Where's the price, dude? I can't see it."
"It's right—" Larry politely proceeded to point at the precise place. His eyes became wide opened, and he snapped the poster from Manward's hand. "Oh, no!"
I was so eager about printing the posters, that I forgot to put the price beforehand! Larry fell to his knees, If I had a dollar for each brain I don't have, I'd have a dollar! I'd have more money than I will gain this whole day!
"Poor Larry. I knew there was something off about this whole 'free' thing." Sandy said, "I didn't bring any money with me. Don't you have something we could give him, JimBob?"
"Let's see." JimBob searched inside his pockets, "I found something! I still have some of these 5 percent discount coupons Mr. Slabs gave me. Do you think he'll like them?"
"Like them? I wouldn't give those to my worst enemy." Sandy replied, looking at the coupons with disapproval as she read the 'only valid at 4 in the morning' part. "How does Mr. Slabs get away with this stuff?"
"Hey!" the stranger came to them. He had a fierce expression in his only eye. "Do you see what you just did? You made my personal trainer have a mental breakdown! You ruined this whole day for me!"
"Look pal, I don't know who you are, but you need to relax." Sandy told him. He was oddly familiar, but Sandy couldn't remember where he had seen him before.
Wait a second, she inspected the stranger closer, Is he really…?
"Hey Charleston!" JimBob waved his hand at him. Manward heard him and looked at Charleston as incredulously as Sandy. Even Larry stopped panicking and joined them in their indiscreet moment of shock. "I didn't think I'd find you here! Say, you look different today. A new haircut, perhaps?"
Charleston, a little intimidated by having so many eyes starring at him at the same time, folded his arms and turned his back on them. "That's none of your concern."
"Of course it's you!" Larry snapped his fingers, amazed he hadn't recognized him earlier, "I knew I had seen this wimp somewhere else before!"
"Wimp?!" Charleston turned on his heels and walked toward Larry with long, exaggerated steps, "That's it, though guy! Come on then, fight me!"
Charleston began to throw punches at Larry's abdomen.
"Hey, it tickles!" Laughed Larry. At first, he found it funny, but after three minutes, he pushed Charleston away from him using only one finger, "enough already. I'm sorry, you're not a wimp, alright? Talk about sensitive…"
Meanwhile, JimBob kept trying to decipher what the change in Charleston was. "I know! He's wearing a new shirt! We're just so used to see him with his green one that—"
"No, you nitwit." Manward told him after looking at his watch, impatient for the session to start. "He didn't cut his hair or changed his clothes. It's obvious!"
"Well, you didn't recognize him at first either, Manward" Sandy said.
"Neither did you." Manward rolled his eyes, "but after a while, it just jumps to the eye."
"What's so different about Charleston?" JimBob said, dying of curiosity, "Tell me, please!"
Manward ignored him and walked away. He sat down on the sand and plugged in his earphones. He ordered them not to bother him with their stupidity until the session started.
Slowly, the answer came to JimBob. He looked at Sandy with expectant eyes, and she nodded in response.
Together, they looked at Charleston. Larry had him trapped with one arm in a wrestling move he liked to call 'the idiot calmer'.
"He's not wearing his headphones." JimBob and Sandy said in unison. They realized it was the first time they had seen Charleston without them since they had met him.
"Do you think something happened between him and Karen?" JimBob whispered to Sandy. For some reason, the idea made him sad.
"Maybe. I have to admit I'm curious, but…" Sandy thought for a moment, and then added, "should we ask him?"
"I don't know. What if something really bad happened, and we just rub salt into the wound?" JimBob said.
"You're right. Darn it, I know it's none of my business, but now I really want to know." Sandy kicked a bit of sand in frustration. "I mean, it wouldn't hurt to ask him. You should just go for it, JimBob."
"Yeah, we should—hey!"
"Come on JimBob, you know Charleston and I don't really get along. Besides, you're the closest thing he has to a friend."
"You really think so?" JimBob hesitated. The mature part of him told that he shouldn't get his nose into other people's business. His curious part however… "Oh, alright. I'll ask him. What's the worst thing that could happen?"
"Okay everyone, listen up." Larry announced. He was carrying a stunned Charleston like a sack of potatoes in one arm, "I may not get paid, but we'll still proceed with the session as planned. We are already here, so we might as well just do it. It's not as if I had anything better to do anyway. We're starting in five minutes, so get yourselves ready!" He let go of Charleston, who landed on the sand with a soft thump. "You have spirit, little guy, I'll give you that. Maybe you have a future with my training sessions after all. For now, try to chill out a bit, okay?"
Larry laughed and moved to another spot to start warming up. Manward joined him, and Larry had to bite his tongue to not laugh at his overly dramatic warm up movements.
"I'll go join them." Sandy told JimBob. She then nodded at Charleston, who was now lying on his back with his eye closed. "Try not to be so obvious when asking him about Karen. Just act natural."
"That's the thing. When someone tells me to act natural—" JimBob tried to tell Sandy, but she was gone before he could finish, "that's when I act the most unnatural." He looked at Charleston and gulped, "Oh, barnacles."
The insult Frenchy had taught him helped him relax a little bit. After taking a deep breath and preparing the best of his smiles, JimBob went toward Charleston and laid down on the sand, in a position so that their heads were opposite to each other.
"So," JimBob said as he made an angel of sand with his arms and legs, "did you and Karen had a fight or what?"
JimBob couldn't see it, but Charleston's eye sprang open. "What?"
"I just want to know if that's why you're not wearing your headphones." JimBob continued, unable to stop his clumsy tongue.
Charleston couldn't believe what he was hearing. It would have been the rudest statement he had heard in his life if anyone else other than JimBob had said it.
However, there was something in JimBob's voice that countered his lack of tact. More than the insolent meddling of a gossip, his words sounded like the earnest curiosity of a child.
That was the only reason Charleston didn't grab a handful of sand and stuffed it inside his mouth.
"Ha! Wouldn't you like to know." Charleston said with a mysterious, insolent voice.
"I would." JimBob insisted. He bumped his head slightly against Charleston's "Come on!"
"And why would I tell an idiot like you anything about it? Give me a good reason, JimFool." Charleston folded his arms.
"Well, considering just a couple of days ago you told me, Manward and Mr. Slabs about Karen coming to town—"
"That was a shameful moment of weakness. I don't have those too often, you know." Charleston interrupted him as if JimBob was telling an embarrassing childhood anecdote. "Besides, I was having the worst hungover of my life…"
"So if we get drunk, would you tell me what happened?"
"Get drunk? Why on earth would I want to get drunk now, you idiot? Even less with you. I'm here to become a better version of myself for Karen, not to find a new drinking buddy. If I can't change my horrible inside, I must try to change my outside. And who knows, maybe when I change the later, the former will also improve."
"Aww, that's sweet! So you two didn't fight after all." JimBob chuckled. "I'm glad."
"Wait—" Charleston stuttered. "You cunning little fry cook, you tricked me."
"What? No, I didn't. You just said more than necessary." JimBob laughed.
Charleston grunted at that horrible sound. If only his body wasn't still recovering from Larry's calming wrestling move…
"I'm doing the same thing, you know?" JimBob said after he was done laughing.
"You don't know how much I wish I had Manward's earphones right now."
"For Sandy." JimBob said without listening to Charleston's taunt. Then, with a serious tone that Charleston had seldom heard from him, he said, "What Mr. Slabs said about relationships always being doomed to fail also upset me. He did say that it wasn't true for everyone, but still… I want to prove it's not true for me and Sandy."
Charleston felt the impulse of going through with his original plan of stuffing a handful of sand into JimBob's mouth. He prepared the sand and waited for the right moment for the surprise.
"Are you also following the 'Heathy mind in healthy body' philosophy so you can be better for Sandy?" Charleston asked him, just to keep JimBob talking so he could proceed with his evil deed. "I didn't—I didn't get that idea from a cheap self-help book I bought on the newspaper stand or anything!"
"Not really." JimBob put his hands behind his head, "I just want to do something together with Sandy and have fun. It may sound silly, but I think that as long as we both do things and enjoy ourselves together, everything will be okay."
Charleston frowned. Almost against his will, he let go of the sand. "You know JimBob," he said, also putting his hands behind his head, "there's nothing wrong about a moment of silence between two acquaintances."
"Are you telling me to shut up?" JimBob asked.
"Pretty much."
"Wow," JimBob said, "that's harsh. Hey, you haven't exactly told me why you're not wearing your headphones."
"You're right, and I won't."
"Oh, barnacles."
Luckily for Charleston, JimBob shut up after that.
This idiot has such a childish understanding of things; and yet, what he says may have some truth in it. Charleston thought as he instinctively searched for his headphones, only to touch his ears instead. We'll be able to find fun in the things we do once we are together, right Karen? Nothing between us has to change. It'll be the same as before…
Charleston would have spent the whole morning lying on the sand thinking about that if Larry hadn't blown his whistle and told them to form a line.
"Alright everyone, are you ready to begin?" Larry asked them as if he was talking to a big crowd.
"I'm ready!" screamed JimBob as he jumped in excitement. He was second in line behind Larry.
"I'll show you all how it's done." Sandy said, no less enthusiastic than JimBob.
"Whatever." Manward said. "This better work, Larry. Because spending time with these fools without getting something in exchange should be a capital offense."
"Let's start then. And you better not practice any more of your wrestling moves on me, you protein lover freak, or you'll feel my wrath!" Charleston said as he stretched his neck.
"Perfect! We'll start by running six kilometers around the beach!" Larry exclaimed, "Ready, set…"
"Did he just say six kilometers?" Charleston and JimBob asked at the same time.
"GO!"
Neither had time to get answer, and had no choice but to start running together with the others.
"This is easy." Charleston said surprised of how well he was able to keep up with the group. After a couple of hundreds of meters later, his opinion started to change. "This is torture!"
"I can't feel my legs!" JimBob exclaimed in despair. "Sandy, are they still attached to my body?"
"What a pair of losers." Manward scoffed. He was doing surprisingly good, and it maybe had something to do with the inspiration he gained from listening to his tuba tunes.
"Just keep going JimBob!" Sandy encouraged him. Judging by the smile on her face, she was having a great time. "This is amazing! It was a good idea to come!"
"Yeah…" JimBob turned his head to smile at her. His smile disappeared once he turned it again to the front. "Best idea ever."
"Come on everybody, let's go! One, two. One, two. One two!" Larry said to his group as the morning sun became brighter in the horizon. "Remember, if it hurts, it's good! Nothing good comes without pain! Say it with me!"
JimBob and Charleston did as Larry told them. They both thought of different things as they did so.
I'll try my best to always enjoy the time I'm together with you, Sandy. Even if right now it feels as my legs were covered in boiling lava!
At the end of the running line, Charleston did his best to keep up.
If this helps me become a better version of myself, then I'll do it, Karen.
His hands went straight to his ears. The absence of his headphones stung his heart, but he had to endure it.
They had promised they wouldn't wear them again until they met.
They also wouldn't call each other.
They did so as a cautionary measure, and as a symbol of their commitment.
There's no going back now. Neither of us can turn back. Our meeting is settled. Charleston thought while he screamed Larry's motto again together with the rest of his training group. And when we do, I want to meet you as my best self! The me you deserve!
"Well," Karen said as she closed the book and tossed it on her desk, "that was the stupidest thing I've ever read. Zero stars out of five, would not recommend."
The book says that if you're a nice and polite person, you also become more attractive to others! That author has a crazy imagination.
Karen thought about it for a moment, and wondered if maybe she was being too dismissive.
I mean…yes, I've never been nice or polite, at least not in the strictest sense of the word. But I'm not unlikeable! My coworkers like me, don't they? They say hi and goodbye to me everyday. That's a sign of friendship, right?
Karen looked at her coworkers. They were laughing and talking together. It came to her that she had never joined them before during one of their breaks, not even when they had invited her.
She always told them she was 'too busy to waste her time with them'.
I do say that. But it's the truth! I'm busy with my own things, and I can't waste my time with their stupid, meaningless—Oh.
Karen looked at the book on her table. She grabbed it and cursed at the little thing as if it was her nemesis. You win this round, you cheap, mainstream best-seller!
She then threw it into the garbage. She had no more need of the physical copy now that the information was stored inside her mind.
Besides, it would be embarrassing if the others knew that I bough it. Not that I care about what they think, though…
"KAREN!" the booming voice brought a sudden silence to the whole office. One her coworkers that was drinking a glass of water choked on it, while other let out a small scream of fear.
They all went back to their respective desks and began to type without daring to look at their boss.
Karen had never understood why they were so afraid of him.
He acted mean and gave himself more importance than he truly had, but at the end of the day, he was just a grumpy old man.
She smiled to herself. You and him would probably would have gotten along very well, old man Jenkins.
"Karen!" her boss exclaimed again. "To my office, now!"
Karen stood up. Her coworkers stopped typing and stared at her. Watching her sass their boss every time he spoke to her was one of the most enjoyable aspects of their work.
What happened then took them all by surprise. Instead of throwing a witty one liner or a snide retort, Karen smiled meekly at her boss and nodded. "I'll be right there, sir."
Am I doing it right? This how you're 'nice', isn't it? Karen gave the book in the trash bin a quick glance before going toward the boss' office. While she walked next to her coworkers, she smiled and waved at them as if she was a pageant queen on a parade. Well, they certainly are looking at me in a different way. You better not disappoint me, you damn book!
After she entered the office and closed the door, one of her female coworkers asked another.
"Hey, Fred. Was it me, or was Karen acting really weird?"
"Yeah, no kidding. It looked as if she was auditioning for a role in a soap opera. And she didn't say anything rude to the boss! What a downer."
"Should we ask her if everything is alright?"
"Nah, she probably would just tell us to go stick our long noses into somebody else's business. That, or she'd kick me in the leg…again."
"You're right."
Back inside the office, Karen sat down in front of her boss's desk. Her face was still frozen with the most charming of her smiles.
My cheeks are killing me. Karen thought as her boss looked at her as if she had something stuck between her teeth, but I have to endure it. The book says a smile makes you more approachable and friendly.
"Someone is a happy camper today." Her boss said with a smug grin. "I wonder how much of that happy smile of yours will survive the news I have to tell you, Karen."
"Please sir, I'd very much like to hear what you have to say. Your opinion is important to me." Karen said with the same naturality of a robot. At least, she had repeated the quote exactly as it was in the book.
I can't believe I just said that to this decrepit moron. Karen thought. She had to held her hands together to keep them from going to her ears, but I have to practice! I have to become a kinder person. I'll do it for you, Charleston. I want you to meet a kinder, politer and more affable Karen. I don't want you to meet the rude missy or the unapproachable wench of the desk in the farthest left side of the office. I want you to meet my best self. And if that means I have to be good to this idiot…
"Is that right?" her boss said to her, convinced that she was mocking him. "Then I'll just say it. Karen, you're fired."
Remember! Sometimes people will be mean to you, but that doesn't mean you have to be the same. The important thing is to act always with kindness and understanding, not matter how bad the situation is.
"Of course!" Karen said, her smile not wavering in the slightest. The voice inside her head kept repeating the teachings of the book.
Remember! Always try to keep a cool head and understand the other's point of view. You don't have to get so angry that you demand an explanation from that stupid, old fool and then storm out of the office as if you were a hurricane, and then pull down the fire alarm like you did every time you came out of the principal's office in high school. That's not what a nice, likeable person does, is it?
Karen stood up so quickly that the chair fell to the floor. Her boss looked at her in shock.
Karen was still smiling.
Is it?