I don't own digimon.

Chapter 15

Eat it!

In this moment. the Artisan considered himself a 'big eater' (whatever that means). All his life, he practiced his craft of consumption. Whether that be the toxins of his own creation, or the cheeses he would serve in his shop to hungry adventurers. None of that was ever good enough in the eyes of his superiors and his customers.

So here he was, taking stock in an eating competition of all things against the one thing he hated most - a dragon. Sure, this one couldn't be any more than a child at best. Which meant they could be put out of their misery long before becoming the winged harbinger of death and destruction. Add in the princess dress, this was a sure sign of betrayal of all humans. After all, why else would such a winged beast adorn themselves in such an outfit? Probably the work of the strange midget also wearing a dress. Probably the one who conquered said dragon in combat of some kind.

Okay… I'm not entirely sure what exactly your issue is, but you do realize that's quite a bold assumption to make right now? What's ahead isn't some fate already chosen for you. It's more something to be shaped. To be grabbed hold of and taken to parts unknown. Like an ad-

"Shut it." the Artisan muttered, gaze back on his opponents. While Bubbles had chosen to stay in his princess dress for the moment, precautions were being made to keep it clean. This took the form of putting a protective layer of paper over all of it. Not entirely sure if that will help or not.

"What exactly are we going to eat?" Phusitmon remarked, turning his attention to Marigold at the moment. Ignoring the sheer absurdity of having a plush of all things participate in an eating contest, they hadn't exactly chosen what they would be eating in the first place. Which is probably the first thing you should decide upon before holding a contest in the first place. You would think these people would understand that basic principle at least. But you would be surprised. The other day, some jokester managed to buy a barrel of booze off a nonexistent seller. Your guess is as good as mine on how they managed to do that. The drinking contest that followed fell to me to clean up. Something about the janitor being out for the day or something dumb. Hopefully, that idiot learned his lesson. As for the mystery booze seller, never heard from again. That's what I know at least. Maybe he travels around, selling his mysterious concoctions to unknowing adventurers and/or students.

Back with our heroes, they were in the middle of moving some of the tables off to the side of the cafe. Mostly so they could give both 'fighters' some space to work with on top of keeping things even. Somehow. Still haven't decided on what they're going to be served. As for the plates of food already being served, those waited patiently to be consumed. How nice of these inanimate objects to do that for you. Sorry, this guy just rubs me the wrong way.

"Why thank you." the artisan announced, quite proud of himself. Especially as he and his partner sat themselves down at one of the tables.

"Do you think you could help us with this?" Blaze inquired, the order head flinging a vial of something his way. While the fighter ducked, the hole now in the floor was less than welcomed.

"You're the one with that boytoy, aren't you?" Carinamon remarked, his opponent pointing his scimitar his way. While I appreciate Blaze's restraint at the moment, I don't think that's really going to help at the moment. Especially against a pair insistent on getting everyone's bad side with little regret or worry. Worrying, since we haven't even gotten to the first battle yet.

Thankfully, the Artisan and Carinamon's attention turned to that of Bubbles and Phusitmon respectively. Who were currently sitting across from them at another table.

"Hi!" Bubbles greeted, waving a claw towards the crazed poisoner and his scorpion. A strange, one finger gesture was all he got in return. Doesn't look too appropriate, so Bubbles pulled his dolls out and set them on the table.

"Yuck."

Sadly viewer, I don't really have the ability to shut him up. If I did, it's highly unlikely I would be the one narrating.

"Oh. do you like princesses then?" Carinamon muttered, Phusitmon already preparing a bubble attack. Just in case this question went south.

"Yep!" Bubbles answered, laughter already piercing through the relative silence of the cafe. Guess we can't have nice things in place like this. Though, expecting that was probably pretty lofty. "Do you?"

The Artisan laughed. Focusing in on the dolls, he couldn't help but notice their craftsmanship. Someone no doubt put a lot of work into these princesses, all for said work to end up in a sewer of all places.

"Not really." he muttered, shifting his mask slightly. I realize that we're not quite friends, but does that mask hurt to wear? Can't imagine that you have the best vision with that thing on.

"Wouldn't you like to know." the Artisan whispered, the last of the tables now in position. Bit unnecessary, especially when you consider that this is a two-on-two eating contest. Turning to Carinamon, he took a deep breath. "How are you up for eggs?"

Carinamon rolled his eyes. Gazing towards his partner, a deep breath followed. How long had it been since they've eaten out? It had to be some time before getting picked up by Distant Harmony. Possibly even before all the misfortune and self-destruction that followed the pair like a plague.

"If that's what you want." the scorpion digimon remarked. In retrospect, maybe bad mouthing the waitress wasn't such a good idea. Nonetheless, Marigold walked over to our two parties. As for Yvonne and co, they were sitting at a nearby table.

"What can I get both of you?" the waitress greeted, smile on her face. Even in the face of someone who's been less than nice to her.

"Eggs." the Artisan announced, Bubbles not even getting the chance to open his mouth. At least consult with your opponent beforehand. "Unless you don't have that."

Marigold looked towards the kitchen, mouthing the request. Judging by the way their spouse was 'possibly' looking their way, I guess they had more than enough on hand for this contest. For better or worse, the sound of sizzling echoing out from the kitchen. Then it's back to over to Bubbles and his opponent.

"Husband or wife?" the Artisan remarked, Marigold looking away. Taking a deep breath, she lets her gaze return to this wannabe asshole.

"Wife."

She got a nod. Was kind of expecting him to go off on some rant about lesbians being awful. Or just going on about the nature of a succubus loving a woman.

"I may be rude, but I respect people's choices." the Artisan muttered, turning to our heroes. "To an extent. "

I'll remember to keep that in mind, especially as a knife of some kind finds it way to Marigold's side. Unused, but necessary in this case.

"That's good to hear." she added and headed for the kitchen. A minute or two later, she returned with the first plates of eggs. Though, it would appear that most of our heroes have already finished their meals. Except Madame. Blessed with what can only be described as a pile of goop in a sleepy state, they did not look too happy.

"Yuck." they muttered, the other voice echoing a similar response from within. What was really gained in feeding this slime to them? Heck, they were fairly certain that it would just get up and walk away from the table. Sadly, this was not the case. So she let her focus join that of their teammates, which was squarely on Bubbles and his opponent.

"Are both parties ready?" Marigold announced, setting both plates down and backing away. Just in case. "I'm going to assume this contest is based on the number of plates cleaned, correct?"

The Artisan nodded. Bubbles did the same, even if he didn't really know the reason why he was nodding in the first place. Then it was time to eat. By eating, I mean grabbing the egg and dropping it into their mouths.

"At least use your manners." Madame announced, whip already out. She wasn't using it, but the urge to do so was quite obvious to her teammates.

"I'll be taking that." Ella explained, grabbing the whip away for the moment. Madame shook her fist at the artificer, but held off on a punch. Instead, she switched to her

"Give it back!" Madame announced, watching the barbarian stuff it into her armor. Once the contest is done at least, she'll give it back and everything is good. So for the moment, the thief let her attention turn back to Bubbles. "Let me get you a bib at least."

Aww. Though, I don't think grabbing a rag off of a nearby table.

"Hold still."

Bubbles complied with the order, watching Madame carefully tie the cloth around his neck. Care was taken to not knock off the D-Venture holy symbol thing. Even if an actual bib right now would do a heck of a lot more good here.

Then there was the problem of the food. Not the quality (I'm unable to judge it, sadly), but the amount. Quite challenging to gauge who's actually in the lead when you're only getting plates of eggs wh-

*Chomp*

Oh. He (the Artisan) is now eating the plates. While those were probably not the 'nice' plates that the cafe used for valued guests, I can only assume the loss of such utensils is absolutely not welcomed at the moment.

"Yum." the Artisan announced, passing part of the plate over to Carinamon. They chose to ignore the looks they were getting from Yvonne and company. Even if they were very justified in their confusion at the moment. "You should give it a shot. Might like it."

What the artisan failed to realize is that most people don't eat plates for a good reason. Even if you're able to swallow the plate, you're probably do major damage to your insides. Which is on top of plates not being edible in the first place. Let your common sense win today, people.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" Blaze remarked, the next plate of eggs arriving. Look the same as the last plate. Though, it would be kind of odd if there wasn't that particular protein on the we did have a plate just get eaten. What I do know?

The Artisan's gaze shot over. Oh my. This could get ugly, fast. Not that it already hasn't to an extent.

"I am, thank you very much... ballet boy," he announced, possibly quite proud of that little insult. Not really that impressive of one though. Sort of like deciding on eggs as your meal of choice. Wouldn't a full breakfast work just as well. Then there's far more obstacles to beat. On top of giving something for Phusitmon to do in the meantime.

Speaking of which, the plush rabbit digimon was currently trying his best to look after Bubble's princess dolls at the moment. Perhaps he wanted a princess dress of his own to match that of his partner's. Not entirely sure it would work though. Maybe the garb of a servant here would do just as well. Yeah, I can see that to an extent.

"Oh, does the little rabbit see themselves as a little princess's woobie?" Carinamon joked, Phusitmon ignoring them. Rather, the plush rabbit was doing his best to just smooth out the doll's princess dresses.

"How's this?" he remarked, watching Madame approach. She gave the dolls a once over, turning back to Phusitmon right after. A sigh followed.

"If anything, they would look better if they were holding hands." Madame suggested. Phusitmon nodded, doing his best to follow the thief's instructions. Though, lack of pose-able limbs made this task a hell of a lot more difficult. Phusitmon managed. Somehow. "Much better."

In retaliation for such a strange and meaningless act (well, to anyone other than Bubbles), Carinamon began to whip his claws about.

Carina Gale!

That's… one way to go about that, especially since you caught Marigold right in the middle of this. Though I'm starting to wonder what your endgame is even at this point. So you beat Bubbles at an eating contest. Then what? The cafe would still belong to Marigold and her wife.

The artisan remained silent, gobbling down an egg as Kollmon scooped the dolls up and carefully flung them back onto the table. There, Phusitmon arranged them like so. All for Carinamon to ignore it. At least now, he was eating an egg of his own. Let's see… That makes one plate for Bubbles, two plates for Artisan over here and I guess one for Carinamon (judging by the shrapnel he deposited here). Which puts our plush rabbit right in dead last. But I don't think he's hungry at the moment. So it's understandable for him to not take part in this event.

Gingerly, Bubbles grabbed his third egg and gobbled it down. After, he let his attention come upon the other egg. While probably pretty tasty and healthy (to an extent), the dragon was getting sick of them. So he focused away from the plate and over to Madame. While the thief hadn't cleaned her plate of the meal provided, it looked to have been similar to the mush from yesterday. They had traded then, maybe they could do the same here.

"Princess?" he inquired, watching his friend look over to him. Then it's over to the plate of eggs. While no real rules had been made in regards to just trading out plates, that would be cheating? No rules were really said at the start. "Trade?"

Looking over to her plate of goop, Madame took a deep breath. She walked over, scooped the plate up and made her way back over to Bubbles. Putting the plate down, she scooped up the egg plate and headed back for her table. Which left our little dragon here to stomach through the goop once more. I definitely don't want to know what the heck is in that stuff. Nothing good, if a guess needs to be made.

"Cheater!" the Artisan announced, shaking his fist towards Bubbles. Mumbling of what I can only assume are full-on threats to his opponent. If not, some kind of insult. Possibly, dragon-related knowing him. "He has to be the one who eats the eggs!"

Marigold rolled her eyes, slowly approaching this massive idiot. While she had no weapon, I get the feeling she's had enough of this.

"If you're not going to be nice, I will throw you out." the waitress announced and cracked her knuckles. Which in turn, got laughter from both the Artisan and his partner.

"Personally, I would love to see a whore like you somehow man-"

Grabbing hold of the order 'head' (or whatever I'm supposed to call him), Marigold lifted him over her shoulders. Flinging him forward, it's a clean sweep through the still open door. Would've sucked (maybe) if he had crashed through a wall. Carinamon was right behind. No throw, sadly. More of a very slow walk over to the door and up onto the Artisan's back. Anticlimactic. Probably make someone want a refund if this were a show or something. But I guess you could ask me for something if you want? I'm not picky.

"See you tomorrow, suckers!" the Artisan announced, giving a wave as he and his partner were teleported back. Makes it even worse if you ask me. Doesn't even have the guts to stay down here and face his challenger.

After, Marigold returned her attention to Bubbles.

"I guess that makes you the winner." the waitress explained, a deep breath following that statement. The cafe's current state was less than ideal. Tables especially, being moved out of the way only for such a short eating contest. Add in the lost revenue, the broken plates and having to serve only eggs for the morning, some debts are owed. Bribes or not.

Notes:

Sorry about taking longer than normal. Came down with a cold partway through writing the chapter after this one. If it helps, said chapter is quite a bit longer than this one to make up for it.

Even then, this chapter was a pain in the butt to write. Mostly because I've never written an eating contest before. There was even a planned scene of the Artisan getting hit with a frying pan. But that got scrapped in place of him getting thrown out. Literally.

.

Next time: Trying to make up for the mess we made.