A/N: This chapter is insanely late. Writer's block hit me hard. Chapter 8 will also be a little on the late side, no later than Sunday, then the updates will be back on schedule.

Meredith's breath may have smelled like tequila and there was a slight buzz going on inside of her, but she was very conscious of her decisions. She was very conscious of the way he was standing there and the way her lips tingled after being kissed by him. One hand was on her hip and the other managed to settle on the side of her neck. She was very aware of the way his body was only mere inches from his own, the way his breath was free of any alcohol, a stark contrast to her own. He was there and it both terrified her but managed to bring a further thrill to her.

Maybe it was that nearly everything about him thrilled her.

It was different from Derek. She loved him, endlessly. Through everything the love felt as if it was enough to kill her. But that's exactly what it was...love. Love and adoration. Looking at him like he was the sun and it took her all too long to realize she was the sun. She was sun and she stood there bright and shiny...sometimes. Bright and shiny was hard for her.

It was never really her thing.

But with Nathan it was different. Touching him, being there with him, it was something she knew she wasn't supposed to be doing. Almost as if she was cheating on Derek, when she wasn't cheating on him at all. He was dead and moving on was something natural for her. As natural as the little mess she made could be. That's exactly what it was...a big mess she didn't really know what to do or how to deal with. So she just never did. Instead she let it grow until there was nothing she could do but deal with the fallout.

The very fallout that made her someone that was spoken about. She didn't think there wasn't a person that didn't know about what happened, given Maggie's little outburst on Thanksgiving. In a way, it was a good thing. That way she didn't need to worry about it anymore. She was worried about so much all of the time that it weighed down on her.

Being there was a risk. She built up so many walls and gave so many excuses as to why she couldn't be with him. No matter how much she wanted him. That was a truth she could barely admit to herself, but it was a truth all the same. A truth that made her not hold any regret for the very reason that she was there, and the way that everything about her responded to him.

A moment in which she didn't feel like a mess of a widow.

From the moment that she met Nathan there was something different about him. It might have just been the outright hatred Owen felt for him. It might have been the way it took her months to get the entire story, or the way she softened all too easily when she thought she got it all. She flip flopped on him near constantly as the little pieces of information came out, and even then it just seemed like an unfortunate series of events.

She had a lot of stories like that.

She knew his sins and he didn't know hers.

She was probably a better person in his world view. Someone that didn't put their hand on bombs and screw with clinical trials.

Meredith screwed him in her car, over and over, but she was a good surgeon and mother. She snapped occasionally, but she cared about her people. It was a clouded view and she knew it. Everything always happened to be something of a clouded view.

Not that confessing all of her sins was anything that was on her to-do list as she stood there with him. Instead there was something else she wanted to focus her mind and body upon.

Him.

Meredith watched with interest as he grabbed the bottle of tequila from behind her. He kept his eyes on her as he took a sip. For a moment she wondered if it was his liquid courage. Nathan didn't seem like the type and whatever held him back before didn't seem to hold him back anymore. She gave him the green light, just as she did when she told him to shut up that night in the parking lot when he tried to voice his concern.

They both seemed to be the type to get what they wanted and the consequences could be dealt with later. That described Meredith near endlessly. She couldn't count how many times she shoved things away just so that she didn't need to deal with them.

Not that she chose to ask any of that as she watched him.

So much unspoken hung in the air between the two of them. She didn't think much of it, nor did she choose to speak of it. She just watched, as if he was suddenly going to give her the answers to life. If only he had those.

The tension grew thick between them and she swore, even though the only thing he did was keep his hand on her hip, that felt like some stupid teenage girl ready to give herself over to him. That was about right. When it came to desire and sex she rarely practiced anything akin to self control. She wasn't one of those girls who kept track of how many guys she'd been with, and if Nathan asked her in the future she'd tell him she haven't any idea. She was slutty, had been in the past, before Derek, before he came in and changed her life, before she had the three kids. Before her life changed.

Even after Derek she'd been with two guys. One was standing in front of her and placed the bottle back down on the countertop. One managed to look at her in a way that made it all too difficult for her to deny him over and over. She did, but it wasn't easy. No more reason to hold back and pretend that she held no interest. No more reason to keep running. It was her move, really. Her move but she just watched and waited, handed him the little bit of power that existed, when really they were equals.

Equals was different for her.

The slow motion in which she felt things were moving were gone in a near instant. Her back found the counter as his lips were on hers. There was no thinking. It was all desire. It all brought a rush to her that she'd been craving. No sex was her least favorite state and for a while, it'd been fine, but the moment it was awoken within her she needed it.

She didn't think too hard about all that happened. Only felt. Felt the way she pulled his shirt off of him and tossed it to the side, felt the way his hands moved along her torso, under her own shirt, giving her a shiver up her spine. It didn't take long for their clothes to be gone and for her back to be down firmly against the cool marble. His body felt good and heavy against her own. A weight she only seemingly wanted more of with the way she allowed her legs to wrap around him.

They ran on desire. Nothing more, nothing less.

He was strong, muscular, something about his arms managed to grab her attention, and compared to her small frame it was good.

Meredith would have been a liar, more of a liar than she already was, if she couldn't admit to being attracted to men with a certain power about them. It wasn't as obvious with Nathan. She held the higher position, her name was on the hospital, and she called all the shots. It was far more subtle with him, existing in a way that she didn't quite see it, but then relished in, wanted more.

It was borderline ridiculous the way she found herself all too attracted to him.

He held her down against the counter as things shifted even more, allowed themselves to find the pleasure they were both desperate for.

It was similar to their first time, in a way.

Raw and unfiltered, easily allowing everything to fall away around them, good. Really good. Everything about him was good.

Right.

They fit.

Nathan's entire being felt as if he was everywhere all at once, giving her everything she needed and wanted. Not that she was shy or withheld anything back from him.

The pleasure almost made her feel as if she was going to crawl out of her skin. The counter may have been cold, but she burned hot. Hotter than she had in a long while, too unable to find any coherent string of words, not that she would want to. Not when her lips were better put to use on him.

She wasn't a good girl.

She wasn't the kind who played the nice.

She wasn't really the dutiful wife and mother.

At least not the kind that was found in those silly movies where everywhere was picture perfect. That was a far cry from who she really was. Instead, everything crashed, but then she managed to find the groove she was in then. It was all too easy to find that rhythm, to be someone she used to be, to find out who she could be moving forward.

Want. Take. Have.

She held no shame as she moved with him, and less as she encouraged him further.

For as long as it took them to find their way back...it was something she didn't want to lose. Not as the two moved from the counter to the floor, Meredith finding herself in his lap, finding a newfound comfort in having him even closer than she had before. A different focus found her. Her arms wrapped around him as they moved in a unison, less frantic, yet, something that seemed to drive her just as mad.

It felt better then as her eyes closed and her breath felt heavier. The surge of pleasure that found her as his teeth sunk into her lip only managed to make her feel incredible and caused her to hold on tighter. Her entire body felt the fire that she swore she used to live for, the moment where surgery wasn't the only high she could find.

A different kind of high, but a high all the same.

Because, by the God she didn't even believe in, he most certainly had a way about him. A way that only made her more addicted than before. That was where some of the fear originated, in just how well he fit with her, when she didn't want to fit with anyone.

He came to Seattle to do a good deed for a kid who wouldn't otherwise and there he was, making her feel like she was in one of those damn porn movies.

That was a definite sign she was too deprived for her own good and she hoped he was just as deprived as she was. Selfish, she knew. Selfish that she wanted him to suffer as much as he had, to feel that void, to be outright lonely. That was what she had been. No matter how much she didn't want to admit it. She had family, but to have someone else in the way she rocked against him, was different. It was good, pure, raw, made her breath heavier, made her feel a connection that she craved so much.

Sex was sex. She never deluded herself to thinking it was something else. It wasn't making love. Never had been. It brought her connection, but love was a different kind of line. A whole nother thing that she didn't need to feel the way he made her his. In that moment she truly belonged to no one else but Nathan.

She wasn't really one to give herself over if she could help it. She lost a lot before, lost more than she thought she'd ever be able to handle, but the way he held onto her, the way his grip was so tight she swore he'd leave a mark, and it only spurred her on, brought her to the highest peak on the tallest mountain.

If their night months ago was his best work she had no idea in what the hell he was doing for her as the moans of pleasure only escaped louder from her.

She hated him then. Hated him so much she allowed her hands to grip at him almost desperately, to leave marks of her own, for her mouth to find him in a way that was all teeth. It was not love. It was desire, annoyance, but her relishing in everything that they were.

As quickly as the reached for the high it found them, her teeth sinking down into his lip that he made a little sound she knew would replay in her mind over and over.

He was good, too good, so good she barely managed to catch her breath before she was only resting against him and allowing herself to actually look at him. She hadn't before. They hadn't quite hit that level yet. The level that she wasn't truly ready for. The level that would firmly change everything.

All of Meredith's moves were carefully crafted and nothing was going to have her change that.

"Do you have any food?" She whispered as her hand ran through his hair, brushing the strands that fell on his forehead.

"Way to hit a guy's ego."

"You're very good at what you do." Meredith whispered ever so softly against his lips before giving him a kiss. "If you want more then you need to feed me." Meredith rolled her eyes at catching her own little innuendo. "Food."

Nathan smiled. "I'll order us pizza when I'm not trapped under you."

"Thank you." Meredith removed herself from where she was and grabbed some of her clothes and made her way to the bathroom.

She couldn't remember the last time she was in a guy's place post sex. It had to be when she was back in med school, given Derek lived in the trailer and they spent most of the time at her place. It was weird. She couldn't help the way she looked around. Nothing special. A shower that was big and had the clear doors that told her it'd make good use for something other than just showering.

Later.

Meredith cleaned herself off before putting her bra and jeans back on. She had half a mind to actually check on her kids but stopped herself. They were asleep when she left and would be asleep when she returned. If they needed her Alex would call her. When she wasn't working she was usually at hope with her babies, who were quickly growing out of being babies. One night where she wasn't there wasn't going to kill her, even if she could feel the little bits of guilt growing within her.

Deep down she knew that she wasn't her mother...the furthest thing from it. She loved her kids and she did her best to spend as much time around them as she possibly could. She wasn't pushing them aside for her own needs...much. Some nights in the early beginning when her grief was still swallowing her whole she didn't do the best mothering, and when she spent nearly two months in the hospital terrifying them that she would end up like Derek.

The ridiculousness of it all that was guilt seeped into her from every avenue of her life. She wasn't truly worried her kids would come to hate her. Rather, she knew they understood and knew that she didn't miss the birthdays and the holidays, not lately, anyway. She put them to bed more nights than she didn't, and made sure she was there when it was time for dinner. She gave them baths and she helped them get ready in the morning. It was her mostly, with sprinklings of her sisters and Alex to get things done faster. Even the nanny was there for when she was working and not because she didn't want to deal with her kids.

It seemed more as if she was looking for reasons to run, rather than reasons to stay. Exactly why she put her phone away and took a deep breath before exiting the bathroom.

When she found him in the kitchen he found his pants and was sitting on a stool. Half of her wanted to come up with some excuse to bolt, but instead she walked around the island and propped herself up onto the counter.

"I ordered pizza while you were snooping." The words were casual as they came from Nathan, but nothing about the look upon his face was.

"I wasn't snooping."

"Okay."

"I wasn't." Her defensive attitude was useless. "Fine. I did a little, but you have a single guy bathroom."

"I'm a single guy."

A silence hung in the air for a few moments. One that wasn't awkward, instead one that just happened to exist. One of the things she appreciated most about him, the way they could exist and she didn't feel the need to fill the silence. Instead she just let her mind wander.

She wasn't a fast kind of girl. Not in the things that mattered most. Not when it came to actually establishing a relationship. She dated Thorpe on encouragement from Alex to get it over with and while he was a nice guy...she hadn't been ready. It took her a while to find that peace where she felt it, and even as she sat there she wasn't sure it existed.

Only she managed to actually buy herself a few more months in which she didn't need to give into what she knew she wanted. Instead she was able to try and figure it out. Not that she got anywhere. All she did know was that she wanted to try. Part of her thought she would never be ready, not really. To move on from something like that. It wasn't Owen and Cristina. They were both alive and had valid reasons for no longer being together. It was Derek being ripped from her world and attempting to figure out how to continue. Nathan knew that struggle, just the mere knowledge of that brought her a willingness to move forth, rather than move back.

At least that was what she liked to tell herself. Who actually knew what the future would hold for either of them, together or apart.

"We need to get better at using condoms." Meredith said almost as abruptly as she felt.

"We're pretty bad about that, aren't we?"

"Cars and counters." She couldn't help but smile. It was always good with him, even if they were a little too reckless for their own good.

"Maybe I should just keep them in my pocket when you're around."

"You should."

"I'm clean." Nathan told her after a moment. "I got tested when I back and you're the only one I've slept with. If you're drinking, I'd guess you're not pregnant."

"The only one?" She asked. "Not pregnant."

"I spent most of my time with April."

His little admission made her feel better than it probably should have. For the longest time she wanted him, but didn't want him, with a side of her not wanting him to have someone else. No one ever said she was a good or logical person. "There was a guy." Meredith shrugged her shoulders, looking up at him. "When we did that surgery at the military hospital."

"Got a type?" He interrupted with his classic smirk.

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes, but smiled. "It didn't go well. You're a little better. A little. Not even worth mentioning."

"I'm excellent."

"It's different with you than him. I'm not a stranger to the one stand, but some are awful and some work out."

"Yeah, I get it."

The knock on the door stopped the conversation from continuing. She watched as he disappeared to the front door and remained seated on the counter. Only even bothering to move once the box was placed on the island.

"When you rejected me in the elevator my first official day at the hospital I never thought we'd be here." Nathan spoke as he grabbed a piece of pizza.

"I was being a good friend."

"And when you jumped me in the parking lot?"

Okay, maybe Meredith didn't have much an excuse for that one. "You and Owen are friends. It all worked out."

"Sister and sister-in-law. I don't think I'm on his list of favorite people."

"Maybe you have an Owen complex."

Nathan rolled his eyes. "Says the woman going from one military man to the next."

"They buy me food."

"Is that why you keep me around?"

"Among other things."

"You being hopelessly in love with me?"

"You have a big ego." Meredith dismissed.

"You feed into it."

"I haven't learned my lesson yet."

"Hopefully, you never do."

Meredith finished eating her slice of pizza as she watched him walk around the island so he was standing next to her. The height difference wasn't much but it existed, causing her to turn and look up at him. He had a good scruffness about him. He had life experience written all over him and she enjoyed that quite a bit.

"Part of this I can kiss you when I want?"

"Feel free to go down on me when you want, too."

"I'll keep that in mind." Nathan placed his hand on her cheek before he kissed her. Meredith closed her eyes and easily accepted it, even though some of it felt like she was burning from the inside out. Slow and steady. It was casual. They were kissing and having fun. It wasn't anything serious, even if she knew they were cemented together from now until they imploded for one reason or another.

That was all she needed to keep telling herself.

A soft moan came from her, until the sound of her phone ringing broke them apart.

"I'd selfishly tell you to ignore if it didn't mean someone is probably dying." Nathan whispered as he reluctantly allowed her to move from him.

"Maybe you're just greedy."

Meredith moved away from him to grab her phone and answer it. Nothing about what she was told on the other end of the phone was anything she ever wanted to deal with. So much so she just stood there, gripping the edge of the counter so hard her knuckles went white, simply allowing the words to be spoken, her stillness telling of what she was feeling.

At least that was what she thought anyhow.

There was always some sort of shoe that dropped on the other end and the only thing she could do was say she'd be right there.

"What's wrong?" Nathan asked as he looked at her with what she knew to be a concerned face.

"My father is in the hospital."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"I don't even want to go."

Nathan picked Meredith's shirt up and handed it to her. "Come on."

Meredith just signed. "You don't have to come."

"I don't have to but we both know I'm going to show up anyway, so just let me take you now."

Meredith rolled her eyes and took the shirt and put it on. As best as she could. The top two buttons seemed to missing...probably somewhere on his floor that she didn't have time to actually look for. Or did she? It was probably a bad sign that she would rather crawl along the floor looking for buttons she couldn't even reattach until later then go and see her father.

Not that Thatcher Grey was ever much of a father at all and after the death of Lexie things reverted back to the way they'd been before everything.

As if everything was her fault.

Meredith remained silent as they went to the hospital, silent as they walked through the halls, silent as she made her way to the ER, and silent as she approached the place in which her father was being kept for the moment. If there was one person she was perfectly fine never seeing again it was him. He just never seemed to matter much one way or the other, but he always managed to show up when things hit a smooth sail.

Her name echoed from his mouth and she swore she was set back a few years...to the last time he was drunk and in the hospital screaming for her. It made her realize just how deep he'd fallen, and in a way, she couldn't really blame him. Dead wife, dead kid. That didn't make anyone happy. Sometimes Meredith wondered how she managed to still be standing.

"I knew you had to be here. Your name is all over everything." Thatcher's slurred and tired voice echoed throughout the room.

"I'm here." She did her best to pretend she wasn't displeased, but it didn't work out. Happiness wasn't something she had with him.

"I don't feel very good."

Meredith looked him over, standing with her arms crossed over her chest. "How long have you been drinking?"

Thatcher just looked at her with that wide eyed look he tended to have. The one where she knew he was searching for an answer that was a lie, but even if they didn't spend much time together it wasn't as if she couldn't realize certain things about him. Like the fact that he was drinking again and for someone who had a problem it wasn't just one drink on one night. She was there as she watched Richard hit his downward spiral, watched in silence as Amelia lost herself, and now her father was there dealing with his problems in the only way he knew how.

Something the two had in common, if she was willing to think about it. Tequila was something she drank like normal people drank wine or beer. It was copious amounts, it made her feel better, but it was never something she needed to function. Lucky in that regard. She could drink it when she wanted, but she didn't need to drink in order to feel better.

Her kids made her feel better. They were her little addiction. Turned out she didn't need to have good parents in order to be a relatively good one.

"Where's your girlfriend? The one with the tattoos." Meredith figured she already knew the answer but asked anyway.

"We had a falling out."

"Are you taking your medication?"

"Are you done killing my family?" The outburst was sudden and harsh, but not entirely out of character given the state he was in.

That one stung. Even if it was the alcohol and whatever else her father might have been on...it still stung. She let out a breath before simply turning around to walk to where Nathan was standing. She was entirely certain he heard it and she didn't really want to talk about it. It was nice, the way he cared, but for someone who didn't really want to talk about a lot of her problems it was annoying.

Not that he was much of the sharing type unless she flat out asked. They definitely seemed to have their similarities that she came to slowly uncover the more time she spent around him..

"Meredith, wait." Thatcher called for her. "I shouldn't have said that."

Not that it made much of a difference to Meredith and she didn't go back. Instead she only stopped next to Nathan, running her hands over her face. It was the middle of the night and she was supposed to doing literally anything else. Instead she was sucked into something she had no interest in dealing with.

"He's…."

"Drunk and Thatcher Grey? Yeah."

"Not what I was going to say but sure."

"What about your parents?" She asked in an effort to talk about literally anything else.

"Evelyn was always there. Even after Megan. Always there."

Meredith wondered if he had just a strained relationship with his parents as she did hers, or maybe they were dead. Either way she knew what it was like to have someone else. She had Richard, even when she didn't want to have Richard, even when she told him horrible things...he always came through for her. The closest thing to a parent she knew.

"She told me about Megan. Owen filled in the rest of the details."

"What's the deal with you two?" Nathan looked briefly in the direction of Thatcher before looking back at Meredith.

"He made a new family and they keep dying because of me. He's probably rejecting my liver, which sounds about right."

"Maybe he'll die and you won't need to deal with him."

"From your lips to God's ears." Meredith smiled before turning to the nurse. "Page whoever is on call. 911. Page me if there are any complications." She turned back to look at Thatcher once before walking off.

She wanted to go home and had half a mind to suggest it before just walking towards the on call room. Even if she felt largely disconnected from the man in the hospital, leaving him didn't seem to be something she truly wanted to do. It was what Lexie would want and while she wasn't there to be by his side, she'd do it.

Rising above, she liked to call it.

Meredith didn't think much of it as she laid down next to him in the same cot. So much for not wanting anything more than being coworkers within the walls of the hospital. It was the middle of the night and she didn't think Maggie was going to walk in before she had a chance to speak to her, or with Thatcher in the hospital, maybe she just didn't care.

She turned so that her back was against his chest. Far easier to talk if she wasn't looking at him and thinking all of the things that the look upon his face had to of said.

"My mother had an affair with Richard. When I was five she left Thatcher. Richard didn't leave his wife. I didn't see him again until my intern year when I knocked on his door. My step mother died, he became an alcoholic, I gave him my liver, Lexie died, and now he's here." That was the version that left out a lot of details that she wouldn't mind sharing, but didn't want to be there for an hour telling him either. Not when he would be even more sympathetic. Her life was a mess. Even as she laid there...everything felt like it wa a mess, and she didn't need for him to act anything other than the man that he already was.

"You had a rough childhood, didn't you?"

"My daddy issues that obvious?"

"I like you anyway."

Meredith grabbed his arm and placed it around her. She wasn't overly affectionate, but being there, the comfort was something that was nice. She liked having him there and ignoring the fact that her father was somewhere in the hospital. Alone. She didn't really care for Thatcher one way or the other anymore. Maybe in the past she would have had issues and been angry, but she was just indifferent. She couldn't hold onto that resentment and anger. It sucked but she managed to understand in some weird way. Kind of.

Not that she would ever leave her kids, but he did the best thing for himself or the options Ellis gave him.

Or it was her way of rationalizing it so it didn't bother her.

When she woke up a few hours later, by the sound of her phone going off, she was entirely certain she managed to fall asleep before him. She didn't spend much time sleeping in the hospital anymore. She was the type who powered through or went home, which surprised her with the fact that she fell asleep in the first place.

"What time is it?" Nathan's sleepy voice whispered.

"Six." Meredith answered as she moved from his grasp and got up.

She really needed to find something else to wear and make it look like she wasn't there in the middle of the night. She didn't exactly look the best but it wasn't much on her mind. Even in the mere thought of a shower was something she wanted so very much.

It was going to be a long day.

The pair walked to the room where she could read the CT ordered by Stephanie, who had them pulled up when she walked through the door. Ever since she got the phone call the bad feeling didn't go away, and she was long gone from the girl who had any hope that things worked out for the better. She just knew the way her life went and her father wasn't going to be some grand exception to that.

No one was.

"There's a tumor on his pancreas." Meredith said, looking over at Nathan who stood next to her.

"Here are his blood test results." Stephanie stood next to Meredith and handed her the tablet.

"How is he still standing?" Nathan questioned, peering to read over her shoulder.

The alcohol combined with the opiates in his system were of little surprise in combination with the tumor on the CT scan. It was likely worse than the images were showing her, and they'd simply given him something to manage the pain. That or he was stubborn and just wanted to ride it out. The odds weren't good and she'd known lesser doctors to not bother trying if there wasn't a high chance of success. Not everyone took the rise. "Make him comfortable."

"Are you sure? He's already on a lot."

"Go." Meredith ordered and crossed her arms over her chest to focus back on the scans.

"It probably spread."

"Yeah."

"And he probably knows."

"Yep."

Nathan turned so that he was facing her, easily letting go of whatever personal space they may have had before. "Are you okay?"

"He has another daughter that I have to call. I'm more upset I have to call her than the fact he's going to die soon."

"He's blood but he's not family." Nathan let the words come out soft. "You don't have to hold everyone up."

"He's in the military."

"Your dad?"

"No," Meredith shook her head, "her husband. She came for Lexie's funeral but left after that."

"Meredith, are you okay?"

"We didn't talk about it...my mother and I. I think I asked once and she dismissed me, and my entire life he was the guy who poured my cereal in the morning. I wondered a lot how he could just not care, and then I grew up and found out he had two other daughters and he was a great dad. This doesn't change my life, he doesn't know my kids, I don't even know if he knows I have kids. But now I have to make nice because what kind of person isn't nice to her dying father?"

When he didn't answer she just shrugged her shoulders and backed out of the room. It wasn't as if she was new to duties that were nothing more obligation. Most of the time it felt her relationships with both Amelia and Maggie were nothing more obligation. She had a certain way about herself, but she certainly wasn't heartless.

She found out which room her father was in and walked past the door. He was resting and she thought about going in, before simply walking down the hall and pretending she had somewhere else to be. Instead she turned down the hallway and pulled out her phone to call Alex.

"Why are you calling me before the sun is up?" Alex groaned as he answered.

"My dad is in the hospital."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously." Meredith confirmed. "Can you get the kids ready? The nanny will be there, but Zola is on some life boycott."

"Yeah, I got it, Mer."

"And don't tell them about Thatcher."

"I won't."

"Oh, call me during your lunch recess."

"I got it, mom."

"Funny."

Meredith hung up the phone and simply stood there. In a lot of ways it wasn't all that surprising that things had unfolded in the way that they did. It was her life and that was how things went. She couldn't count all of the times her life either turned upside down or someone died. Usually they went hand in hand.

Her father's impending demise was just another thing she needed to deal with. It would likely hit her in the same way her mother's death did. It just happened and she had to deal with the all of the loose ends. That was about it. It didn't hurt that she had increasingly strained relationships with her parents.

In time, because of Derek's death, she could understand why Ellis Grey was the way she was.

But it didn't make her unconditionally love her mother, and nothing came to make her unconditionally love her father. Nothing like that was ever going to happen and one day, it would simply be another thing on the long list of crap that happened. Something she would be able to talk about, but nothing that changed her into someone other than the person she already was.

"Heard your dad's around." Owen said as he took notice of her standing alone in the hall.

Meredith only gave him as much of a smile as she could manage. "What are doing here so early?"

"Amelia's gone. I take the extra shifts."

Meredith pushed herself from on the wall and peered around the corner. "He's in there and I'm pretending he's not."

"How long are you going with that?"

"Until Lexie rises from the dead."

Owen shook his head. "Good luck."

Meredith watched as Owen walked off and just stood there. For too long. She had some time before she had her scheduled surgeries and soon enough everyone would be filtering into the hospital. She was in no mood to actually explain it or get the sympathy looks, and have to actually deal with him.

In an effort to not have her father call for her, she took the long way around the hospital, and found some coffee in the attending's lounge. Coffee that tasted burnt and like nothing anyone would ever actually want to drink, but it was coffee.

"Dr. Grey, you're here." Jo's voice was heard the moment she stepped into the hall.

"Momentarily."

"Mr. Simpin is in Pre-op and Mrs. Fields wants to talk to you."

"Did you try and talk to her?" Meredith asked as she looked over the latest labs.

"I tried. She said she wanted to talk to her actual surgeon."

"Which is you."

"I tried to tell her that," Jo began to explain, "but then she got mad and kicked me out."

"Go answer her questions. Be firm. If you can't do it now, you can't do it in a few months once you pass your boards." Meredith handed her the tablet and began to walk in the other direction. "Prove yourself, Wilson."

After a few minutes she found Nathan, standing in front of the board, looking at the list of surgeries.

"What are you doing?" Meredith questioned as she stood next to him, looking at the board herself.

"I work here."

"You don't have surgery for another forty minutes."

Nathan turned to look at her, a smirk on his face. "So?"

"I'm not dealing with my father." Was all she said as she tugged him down the hall to the supply closet. Perhaps the worst of places, but she wanted a distraction and knew he was a good distraction.

"Do you want me to cover you in gauze?"

Meredith didn't reply before she simply kissed him, grabbing him by the navy scrubs and pulling him closer.

"I thought you said no hospital shenanigans."

"I lied. Now shut up."