Finally got around to updating. Thank you for all of the support. The next chapter should be up a lot sooner. I got a lot of writer's block with this one, but the next one is mostly done.

"Meredith." Nathan spoke gently as he moved towards where she was standing in the doorway.

"It's almost poetic, running away from both my parents, only to have both die in this hospital." Meredith stated as she kept her gaze on the bed. She didn't really know what to feel. Even when her mother died her feelings were complicated and she was going through a lot at the time. As she stood there, Nathan in front of her, just enough to the side so her gaze didn't break on her dead father…it was just so complicated. He wasn't ever there for her but she wasn't totally void of all feelings. "I should be more upset, shouldn't I? Like I should have wanted more time or maybe he should have met my kids. That's silly because he wasn't even there for me why should my kids know him when I don't?"

"Meredith." He interjected.

Not that it caused Meredith to stop, no she just kept looking ahead. "He wasn't there for me and now he's dead. I can barely think of a good memory. Just a lot of bad memories." Memories that she didn't want to relive and memories that she didn't really want to share with him either. Not yet.

"Come on." Nathan didn't give her much of an option to ignore him, hand gripping her arm as he tugged her out of the room and down to the attendings' lounge.

Meredith eventually followed along of her own will, even moving to sit down on the couch. The lounge was empty and it was something she was grateful for. The last thing she wanted to do was be around people. Nathan didn't count. When he sat down next to her she glanced at him briefly out of the corner of her eye. He had better things to do and she always had a problem of accepting comfort when she really needed it. Probably because Derek was always there and overbearing, asking questions she didn't want to answer. A strong contrast to Nathan who was quiet and didn't ask. He was just there. Quiet and offering his support without really offering all that much at all.

"You need to go deal with it." Meredith urged even though she didn't want him to leave.

"They can wait."

Meredith didn't fight it again. She knew the logistics of everything that needed to be done, but Nathan was right...it could wait a few minutes. She let out a soft breath before resting her head on his shoulder, gripping his hand in her own.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, it's okay. I'm okay."

Nathan didn't say anything else and Meredith didn't mind. She took the silence as it came. Her eyes closed as she tried to think of her father. Thatcher really. He was never much of a father and for as much as she wanted to say she couldn't fault him...she did. He should have been there for her when he was there for his other daughters. She deserved to have a father, too, didn't she? The universe didn't seem to see it that way and instead dealt her every bad hand it could.

Her mother was no walk in the park. Sometimes she swore she hated her and other times she understood her. In the end, Ellis was her mother. Their relationship was complicated and when she died it almost felt as if a weight was lifted off her shoulder.

With Thatcher it was completely different. She felt weighed down and full of questions. She didn't want to do anything. She didn't want to deal with it. She wanted to be in a state of bliss with Nathan and figure out whatever was going on between them. She wanted to do surgeries and take her kids to the park. She didn't want to try to figure out what do with her father's dead body and have to call his other daughter who she hadn't spoken to since she was nothing more than an intern.

It didn't matter what she wanted. It rarely ever did. She just had to suck it up and move on with her life.

Jackson looked up from his phone when he walked into the room, looking at them both on the couch, "Am I interrupting?"

"No," Meredith was almost grateful for the break from her thoughts.

"April said your dad was here."

"He's dead."

"Happened a little while ago." Nathan finished for her.

"Do I bury him? Or cremate him? What do you with your dad?" Meredith mused aloud, "I can't just leave him in the morgue forever...can I?"

"What did you do with your mom?" Jackson asked while pouring himself some coffee.

Meredith made a guilty face. "Richard and I...washed her down the sink in OR 2."

Nathan immediately turned her then. "You washed your mother down a sink?"

"It was her favorite OR."

Jackson's own look was something to be rivaled. "I don't think you're supposed to be that literal."

"Surgery was her life. You don't get two Harper Avery's for doing the bare minimum."

Nathan got a page, causing him to pull away from her. "You okay?"

She didn't want him to go, as selfish as that was, but knew she couldn't keep him. Instead she forced a smile. "I'll be fine."

"If you need anything..." Nathan as he stood but not leaving until he gave her a quick kiss. "When I die please don't wash me down an OR sink."

"I make no promises."

Jackson looked between them until Nathan rounded the corner and his eyes were on Meredith. "How's Maggie?"

"She doesn't know." Meredith tried to look and feel a little less guilty about that.

"How'd that work out last time?"

"Who was the one who stood up at April's wedding and gave her a speech while his girlfriend sat there?"

"Low blow, Grey." Jackson smiled anyway.. "We apologized."

"And now you're divorced."

"And living with my ex."

"Living with your ex who you have a baby with. See Avery...no judging." Meredith said as she got up from the couch. "Now I have to figure out what to do with my dead dad."

"I just heard." Maggie said as she burst into the room and gave Meredith a hug. "I should have been there for you, no matter what."

"Maggie."

"No, I was just upset but it's your dad. If my dad…."

"We didn't have a relationship." Meredith didn't know what to say and hated the way it came out so harsh. "I have to go."

Maggie took a step back and looked at her all puzzled, looking over to Jackson for an answer. He didn't have and only shrugged, immediately drinking his coffee.

Meredith was grateful Jackson didn't seem to say anything. She really didn't need to drag another person into her mess but she just couldn't really talk to Maggie about it. She knew they had been together previously but wasn't aware they were actually together again. Sometimes Meredith couldn't believe she was actually with him and happy. She was happy. Even though sometimes it felt so uncertain and as if it wasn't real, along with all the dramatics that seem to come with it, he made her happy. The only others who could manage to do that was her kids. She loved them beyond words but Nathan brought her something else.

Maggie was blocked from her mind as she had to deal with all of the paperwork. Thatcher had listed her as his emergency contact after Lexie died and his other daughter moved out of the country. Another favor he did her.

She would bury him and Molly could deal with the rest. After that she could go back to her life of not having a father.

It wasn't until later she saw Nathan again. Saw being a loose term when he was walking out of surgery and she had been lurking the halls to wait for him. Getting forced into taking time off in order to deal with all this did little to help her. Only made her more ancy and waiting.

"I thought you would have gone home by now." Nathan said as he moved to fill out the chart.

Meredith probably should have gone home, but there she was. "Molly Thompson. I don't know her husband's first name...could you see if you can find anything?"

"I'll make a call."

"I should bury him...next to his wife." Meredith thought aloud. "He'd like that, maybe. I don't really know what he'd like. Maybe he has a will where all of that is laid out." Unlikely. "Deluca threw the trial." Another topic of conversation was better.

"What?"

"I have no idea. It's kind of a mess."

"Think it has something to do with Wilson? They've been spending a lot of time together."

"How do you know that?"

"Because," Nathan began and turned to her, "I actually pay attention to other people."

"I pay attention."

"Do you want my honest reply to that?"

"No." Meredith wasn't winning that one. "I'm going home. I'm going to sit with my kids and deal with this later."

"I'll call you when I find something."

Meredith gave him a smile before turning off, only to look back at him, "Nathan?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

When Meredith got home the house was quiet. A rarity when she had three kids who needed her attention at any given time. That night she didn't mind though. Not when everything was going the way it was. Seeing Alex sitting in the living room was nice, she had to admit. Someone she could just talk to without worrying about things. She never had to filter around him.

"Thatcher is dead." She said as she dropped her bag onto the chair. "I'm sleeping with Riggs and Maggie doesn't know, and I have to find a way to honor my estranged father. Should factor in find missing Amelia so Owen doesn't lose his mind into that, too."

"Bailey is looking at the paperwork to get me my job back."

Well that was good news. "Drink?"

"Drink." Alex nodded. "I put the kids to bed. I didn't know how long you'll be."

"It's fine. I'm here for a few days."

"What are you going to do?"

"Clean. Drink." Meredith shrugged as she grabbed the bottle of tequila. Sometimes she wondered why they had a whole mess of other liquors they were never going to drink.

"About your dad."

"Bury him." Seemed to be simple. "What happened with Deluca?"

Alex took the bottle from her hand before taking a sip. "He wanted an apology."

"Just an apology? Did you give him one?"

"Yeah." Alex handed her the bottle.

Meredith took a swig, as much as she could tolerate. "Don't go around punching people."

"Don't lie to your sisters."

They passed the bottle back and forth a few times. She felt better, a little. Everything was still a mess and well, tequila couldn't fix her problems, but it did make her not really care about them.

Until the knock at the door came and she sighed heavily before answering it.

"Wilson." Out of all the people Meredith was expecting she didn't think the resident would be standing there.

"I know it's late and the kids are sleeping. I tried not to wake them...is Alex here?"

Meredith stepped aside, "Come in."

"Dr. Riggs told me to give you this." Jo handed her a little envelope.

"Thanks. I'll...," she looked over at Alex who only had eyes for Jo. "Leave you two."

The last thing Meredith saw before disappearing up the stairs was Alex and Jo hugging. Alex didn't talk about their relationship much and she didn't really blame him. Not the way Jo got up in arms about details, but what he did share...she thought they could work it out. They were alive, something that had become the standard. They were both alive and nothing could really keep them apart if they loved each other enough. She thought they did.

She checked on the kids before moving to her bedroom. They were fast asleep and she noted just how peaceful they looked. Still so innocent and without any true problems. Zola's biggest challenge day in and day out was what she was going to wear.

Once comfortable in her bed she opened the little envelope Jo handed her and read through the information Nathan left her with. Dramatic….to write it down like they were living in the stone age. Since she was mostly definitely not living in the stone age she decided to call him.

"You didn't need to call me," He answered.

"I wasn't going to but Wilson came over, and I don't really want to watch her and Alex."

"Are you hiding in your own house?" The amusement was clear.

"I'm hiding in my own house." Meredith relented. "Thanks for this."

"It was nothing."

"I don't want to call her and ruin her day."

"You're ruining it no matter what. Her dad's dead."

"I don't even know her." She replied as she laid back on the bed. "I met her once but I wasn't that interested."

"Treat it like you would anyone else. You've made this call before."

He was right. "Okay, I'll do it."

"Goodnight, Meredith."

Meredith exited the call and remained lying there. She didn't want to do it. It was as simple as that. It was not a call she wanted to make and one she tried to put off. The time difference made it so it was morning there and to ruin her day...not that it mattered. Losing a parent was losing a parent. Ten in the morning or ten at night her pain was going to be the same.

She relented, dialing the phone number.

The call lasted five minutes and twenty eight seconds. She felt more awkward than anything else and was grateful there wasn't much need for small talk. It wasn't like with Lexie...the two of them were never going to be sisters. She was just another one of Thatcher's daughters who had to deliver bad news.

That's all the Grey's had...bad news.

Meredith knew she probably should have gone to bed. Ellis had a habit of waking up early and exhausting Meredith within twenty minutes. With her kids she needed as much sleep as she could get. Especially with being a surgeon. The only thing she wanted to do was talk to Nathan again.

It'd been a long time since she had someone to share things with so casually. Derek was always around. Even in their early relationship when she wasn't willing to share all that much. Nathan and her had different boundaries...namely because of her kids, but she could still call him...again.

"I ruined her day." Meredith said before he could even get a word out.

"It's better she knows."

"Is it?"

"I'd like to know." He said softly. "Limbo doesn't do anyone anything."

"I guess it's better. Now the hormonal crying…" Meredith shrugged. "I'm taking some time off, and by taking I mean Bailey is forcing me."

"Kepner got your surgeries."

"She's going to kill my patient.s."

Nathan let out a laugh, "She's not going to kill your patients. She's a good surgeon."

"Molly just had her baby. A girl."

"How many sisters do you have?"

"Molly is Thatcher's other daughter. Lexie is dead. Derek has four sisters. I only talk to Amelia really. Maggie is my mother's other daughter." It was quite a list when she thought of it. "There's Cristina. I'm not taking in any more sisters. I don't care if one shows up on my doorstep. I'm all out."

"Quite a family tree."

"How much do you wanna bet Wilson and Alex are having sex on my couch?" Not like it would be the first time someone living in that house that wasn't her did.

"Go look."

"I don't need to see Alex's ass and have my day ruined."

"Your dad died, that should ruin your day."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Shut up." Still, she got up from her bed and softly padded down the hallway before peering over the stair case. There weren't any not safe for children noises so she thought it was safe. "They're just talking."

"Don't sound so disappointed."

"They'll get back together and then he get out of my house. They can get married or whatever."

"You sound like you're ready to throw them a wedding."

"She's married." Meredith slipped when she walked back to her room.

"To Alex?"

"No, I don't know who he didn't tell me, and I didn't tell you."

"We have secrets now?"

"Got a problem with that?"

"No, I don't."

"Once this settles down we should have dinner." They hadn't really gotten that far and it sounded nice.

"Meredith Grey, are you asking me to dinner?"

"Yes."

"I'd be happy to go to dinner with you."

Days past before Meredith found herself back at the hospital. Only not for work. Instead her youngest daughter was on her hip, holding onto Meredith. They were both exhausted.

"Have either of you seen Alex?" She asked Owen and Arizona.

"Not lately."

"He's in surgery." Nathan said as he leaned over and put his file back. "Went in about an hour ago."

"Do you need something?" Owen asked.

"Arizona, can you look at her? Alex said he would. She has an ear infection and she won't stop screaming. It's not clearing up."

"Of course." Arizona smiled, "Come here, baby girl. Let's give your mama a break for a few minutes."

Owen got paged and gave her a sympathetic smile while Meredith leaned against the nurse's station. She was tired. More tired than tired if that was even a thing.

"Cute kid."

"I'm not…" She couldn't even tell Maggie about them she needed to try and keep some boundaries.

"I know."

"The universe is trying to kill me."

"I don't think it'll succeed."

"Your schedule says you're off tomorrow."

Nathan turned to her then, a smirk on his face. "Keeping tabs on me?"

"I have to go to my dad's house and I want you to come."

"And your daughter?"

"The nanny will watch her." Which she did feel bad about. "Naptime. She won't even know I'm gone and I have to go eventually."

"Okay," Arizona came back out, "I'll write you a prescription for some antibiotics. It should clear up. If it doesn't I'll look at her again. She was a very good girl." Arizona said as she handed her the prescription. "Sofia is mine for Christmas and she keeps asking about Zola."

"Zola would love to see her."

"Great. I gotta go." Arizona smiled as she walked off.

"Tomorrow."

Meredith was holding Ellis who was resting against her. "Nine?"

"I'll pick you up." Nathan smiled at her and Ellis briefly before taking his leave.

Meredith stood there for a minute before taking a walk around the hospital. They both needed some air. She didn't really know how stay at home moms did it. She was going crazy in that house with no adults to talk to and she really missed cutting people open. A lot.

"What are you doing here?" Maggie asked as she walked into the attendings lounge.

"Boredom." Meredith answered before turning to Ellis. "Ear infection."

Maggie took Ellis from her as Meredith laid down on the couch. "You didn't come home."

"I'm still mad at you and Nathan but he works here. Under me. I can't act like he's not here. So it's just easier to avoid you and your dad died and what was I going to do?"

"Do you know where Amelia is?"

"She's not answering her phone."

"If you're going to be mad at someone it should be me. I told him not to tell and he didn't. He's a good guy."

"He could have told me. You could have told me." Maggie held onto Ellis who was just in the mood to be cuddled. "It's on both of you."

"I know. I'm sorry." Meredith paused. "After Derek I didn't expect this. After Thorpe I just thought…" Meredith shrugged. "I didn't mean any of this to happen and if I could pick someone you didn't I would pick someone else, but you don't get to pick these things. They happen. It's messy."

"Just don't lie to me anymore."

Meredith couldn't promise to not lie to her again and then lie to her. She had to do the adult thing. Apparently that was something she was practicing a lot more often than she used to. "Nathan and I are...seeing each other."

"Okay."

"Are you mad?"

"I'm glad you told me." She handed Ellis back over to Meredith. "Go home. You should sleep in your own bed...both of you."

Maggie left the room and Meredith wasn't sure what kind of reaction it was. Was she mad? Was she accepting? Maybe a little bit of both? Only time would tell.

"I told Maggie about us." Meredith told Nathan the next morning when she got in his car.

"That explains her bumping me off a surgery yesterday."

"I should have told you."

Nathan shrugged. "It'll blow over. I think the only reason she didn't call me in was because she didn't want to see me."

"Do you think it'll blow over?"

Nathan looked at her out of the corner of his eye briefly, "You can't stay mad forever. Even Hunt got calmed down."

Meredith supposed he was right. Owen wasn't that mad at Nathan anymore and had taken their revelation decently well. He didn't break Nathan's nose and most other people didn't seem to care one way or the other. She considered that something of a victory.

When they got to her dad's house she was half hoping it would have been burnt to the ground or something equally ridiculous. No part of her wanted to actually go inside. It was never a place that was hers. It was Lexie's...before Lexie came to live with her.

"I only came here once." She said as they stood at the front door. "It was my intern year. He asked me if I needed anything and I told him I didn't. Then I slept with this guy and all my friends hated me."

"We've all slept with people we shouldn't have."

"Who is yours?"

"Going inside?"

Meredith knew he didn't want to talk about it so she didn't push it. Instead she actually entered the house. There were a few liquor bottles, some old pill bottles, food, clothes, and just the general disaster of it all. "I've never actually been inside." She said as she absently touched some things. It all felt meaningless. "They grew up here. They had a normal childhood. He didn't bother...at least not enough."

"Before he died he asked me if you were happy."

"What did you say?"

"That you were Meredith. I don't think I was the best person for that. I don't know you that well."

"I don't know you that well either and I'd like to."

"Cheating on Megan will always be my biggest mistake and my biggest regret. If I could go back I would. Maybe we'd be married with kids right now. Happy. Maybe Derek would live and you'd get to raise your three kids together." He spoke slowly, looking everywhere but her, "but then I look at you and think maybe I was always supposed to end up right here." He swallowed, shaking his head. "Anyway, now you know a little more."

Meredith didn't really know what to say. "We're here now. That's what matters." She continued to walk through the house. It wasn't really the place for them to talk but the little insight helped. "This isn't my job," she turned to him, "what do I do?"

"I don't know." Nathan replied and walked so he was standing behind her. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to. You don't owe him anything."

"I'll just keep it and when Molly can travel she and her husband can go through it." Meredith walked down the hall and found herself in Lexie's room. "I was horrible to Lexie when we first me but she said she loved me anyway." She went over to her dresser and looked at the picture on top of it. "I used to wonder what it was like to grow up with a sister. My kids have that."

"It's good they have each other and it's good you had Lexie, even for just a time."

He was right. The amount of times Nathan would say something and she thought that he was right was...a lot. He had a knowledge that she denied herself, the ability to take things as they were. No obligations, no questions. She didn't need to be there and doing this when if it had been her own funeral she didn't think he would show up. That just saddened her. "Lexie died in a plane crash." She didn't know why she was telling him but she was. "We were in a plane crash. Lexie died out there. Mark died when we got back. Arizona lost her leg." She put the picture down and looked over at hm. "It was awful. I think after that...Thatcher was never going to come back from it."

Nathan walked so he was standing in front of her, looking down. He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I'm sorry about your sister and Mark. You're right...he probably wasn't going to come back from that. We both know those losses shape you. They don't roll off like they are nothing. You're here and that's the important part. I think your sister would appreciate you trying."

"She would." Lexie saw the best in people, saw the best in Meredith when she had no best to offer. "The hospital is named after them. Lexie Grey and Mark Sloan. I guess I'll own even more of it now."

"How much of the hospital do you own?"

"Forty five million dollars worth. My father got Lexie's shares but we used them to buy the hospital."

"Chump change."

Meredith smiled. "Yeah, chump change." She let out a breath and looked around. "I don't think I should be here."

"Do you want to go?"

"I do."

Meredith only managed to take a full breath once they were out of the house and into the fresh air. It just wasn't her place and she had no desire to make it that way. When Molly could come back to Seattle she would let her deal with it...until then the house wasn't going anywhere. She took a seat on the steps and looked out at the neighborhood. Nice and quiet.

"Do you need anything?"

Meredith glanced up at Nathan, "Just sit here with me." When he sat she glanced over at him. "I felt indifferent before. Now I just feel…"

"Sad?"

"Lost." It was the first time she said that out loud to someone else. "When I went to see Derek it wasn't just about us. It was guidance. He always knew what to do."

"You know what to do. Deep down, you know it. You don't need him to guide you. You don't need anyone to guide you."

Even if Nathan was right there were moments where she thought it would be easier if someone could push her along the right path. She took so many twists and turns that someone usually ended up dead. She really didn't want to be next.

Ending up in his apartment wasn't a part of the original plan but with how little time they spent at her father's house it seemed a good idea. Meredith couldn't deny she liked the moments where they got to hide away as if they didn't exist to the outside world. She kicked off her shoes and found herself plopping down on his bed the very moment she could. "I love my kids and I sometimes love my sisters, but laying in a bed they aren't occupying is a luxury."

"Can I join you or should I sit in the chair?"

"I guess you can lay here."

Nathan laid down next to Meredith. "Hi."

"Hi." She whispered, turning so her face was inches from his. She reached down and grabbed her phone, twisting herself so she was resting on his chest. "This is Zola. Alex had a little program to fix a bunch of sick kids and Derek suggested we adopt her. She can get you to do anything and she's really handled Derek's death better than I did." She smiled down at the picture of her daughter. "This is Bailey. Derek Bailey. He was born in the middle of a storm but he's so quiet and calm. I have no idea where he gets it from. Shepherds aren't quiet."

"Named him after the Chief?"

"Yeah, she saved my life. My spleen was ruptured." She scrolled through a few more picture. "This is Ellis. I found out I was pregnant after he died and we left. I just took the kids and left. I couldn't be in that house. She looks a lot like Derek. I'm half certain she'll grow up to be a mini Amelia. She likes to be with me or Amelia, but she's gone. I know you've seen them and I've talked about them but them, and I'm not ready for you to meet them but you should know them."

"Cute kids, Mer. Though if you have a mini Amelia on your hands we all be in trouble."

"Yeah, they're alright." Meredith smiled, turning over onto her stomach and looking up at him. "If I told you know I might know where Amelia is would you tell me to tell Owen?"

"I would tell you to do what you think is best. If that's being on Owen's side or Amelia's side...only you know that."

"You were right. They're not gonna last."

"I didn't want to be right."

Meredith raised her eyebrow at him. "You didn't? Didn't want him miserable and lonely?"

"He hated me...I didn't hate him."

"Not once?"

"Not once. But he didn't cheat on my sister."

"Don't cheat on me."

"I won't." He promised. "This mean we're not seeing other people?"

"Not seeing other people. Unless you're already seeing someone else."

"You're a handful."

"I am easy." That didn't make her sound too good.

"And a handful. Don't think I forgot our first night in your car."

Meredith smiled. "That was a pretty long night."

"You couldn't get enough. Making up for lost time."

"Something like that. I know what I like." She made no apologies for it.

"Oh, I know. It's hot, you're hot."

Apparently that was all it took for her to find herself on top of him, stealing a kiss. Stealing hardly the accurate term when he was all too willing. His hands moved along her body and she could feel the desire to building within her. Just as it always did around him. She never expected to feel like that about someone again and then he had to show up and ruin her plan to let herself just be after Derek.

Nathan rolled them so he was on top, settling between her legs that had gone and wrapped themselves around him. He smelled good. Very Nathan. Whatever that meant. He was intoxicating almost, as if she couldn't get him close enough. They were all tangled in each other with their clothes still on and she just wanted to be closer, wanted more, wanted to get lost in him. She'd settle for the breathless kisses for the moment.

"What's it like? To be a surgeon out there." She asked while she caught her breath.

"Nothing like it is here." Nathan looked down, keeping his gaze on her lips. "You do what you have to in order to save someone with what you have. Sometimes you're not sleeping and you're not eating, but there's a guy who is fighting the real fight so all of that stuff can wait. It doesn't really matter. Not in the grand scheme." Nathan shrugged. "It's easier here sometimes. They die and it sucks but the odds of saving a life are higher."

"Do you ever want to go back?"

"My whole life is out there, but I made this life." He kissed her again, tugging on her bottom lip. "I'm here. I'm in this. I'm not going anywhere. I'm in my fourties. Megan's been dead for a long time. It...it what it is but I'm here."

"Okay." Meredith breathed, running her fingers through his hair. "If you're here I'm here."

"Not bad for people with commitment issues."

"Shut up." Meredith smiled and ran her hands along his jaw. She liked when he didn't shave. He looked hotter then. "I have to go to my father's funeral."

"Yeah, might be good."

"Arizona has Sofia for christmas. I can arrange something for Bailey. Ellis, I'll see if Jackson and April will take her for the night. we could just, be, here."

"Are you dumping your kids to spend a night with me?"

She frowned, "When you put it like that I sound like a horrible mother."

"All mothers need breaks and orgasms. I don't make the rules."

"I haven't had a break since...I didn't even have three kids."

"One night won't hurt them."

"How are you so wise?" Meredith whispered, unable to help herself from smiling. "You're so laid back all the time."

"Getting worked up doesn't help anyone."

"Tell that to Amelia and Maggie and Owen...this list could get quite long."

"And you."

"I don't get worked up."

Nathan tried to keep himself from laughing. "You spent nearly a year hating me and when I breathed wrong you found something to bitch about."

"I had valid reasons."

"What were they?"

"Owen...hated you." Her reply was weak and she was certain he'd see right through it.

"You had sex with me four times. Pause for effect...four times while Owen still hated me."

"That's not important." Meredith dismissed. "April was your only friend and she doesn't have the best taste."

"Didn't you say Keps was into your husband?"

"Okay," Meredith pouted then, "if you're going to remember everything how am I supposed to win?"

"You're not." Nathan gave her a quick kiss. "That's the fun."

By the time Meredith actually found herself back at work she felt things were falling into a bit of normalcy. The funeral was close and Molly was flying out so she could deal with everything. More than she would ever be willing to do with a newborn or however old her daughter was, something Meredith didn't pay all that much attention to. Once the funeral was over she could pretend nothing ever happened and go back to dealing with her life.

That was what she wanted more than anything.

Being able to perform surgery again certainly did help.

She made plans for Zola and Sofia to have a sleepover, one of the mom's from Bailey's preschool was more than happy to take Bailey for the night so the boys could hang out together like they liked, and Jackson said they would watch Ellis for the night. She owed both Arizona and Jackson, she knew that much, but one night when she didn't have to worry about her kids was something she needed.

Only Meredith had to keep convincing herself that she wasn't a terrible mother for taking one night. It was only one night and the kids wouldn't even know the difference. Both Zola and Bailey would be happy with their friends, and Ellis wasn't sick anymore so she could be without her for the night.

That still was her primary concern. Not when the funeral for her father was so close and she had to sit through another funeral. It was the funeral itself more than who it was for that actually managed to bother her. Something that only said as more about the relationship they shared.

"What are you still doing here?" Nathan asked as he walked into the attendings' lounge.

"I'm leaving soon. I had an early morning surgery."

"Are you just making excuses?"

"Kind of." Meredith admitted as she put on her coat. "Do I look okay?"

"You're going to a funeral. I don't think you could look bad."

"Nathan."

"I'd do you."

Meredith rolled her eyes but appreciated the comment anyway. "I think that's true all the time."

"It is." Nathan walked over to her. "That's the plan for tonight."

"You do know how to charm a girl."

"I try."

"I have to go." Not that it actually caused her to move any. Instead she just stood there and looked up at him. "Do a cool surgery in my honor. I had to give mine to Webber."

Nathan smiled and kissed her. "I'll try. Call me if you need me."

"I'll see you tonight after I fake mourn my dad."