Chapter 16
AN: Thank you for the support. Hope you like this chapter.
AN2: As I have said, let me know what episodes you would like me to address. Hope you like this chapter.
November 8th 1991
Two weeks have passed since Gibbs returned home from Columbia, and ever since things have improved between Ziva and Gibbs. Ziva no longer feels like Gibbs resents her, and Gibbs is no longer hiding things from his daughter as he realized that while he can close himself off from everyone else he can't close himself off from her; and he doesn't really want to.
It is Friday evening and Ziva and Gibbs are having dinner together as Ziva tells her father all about her school day.
"it was fun," Ziva reveals. "We got to use the climbing wall, and the ob…ob…obs…," Ziva says, struggling to find the right word.
"Obstacle course," Gibbs gently suggests.
"Yes, that," Ziva confirms. "I did it best," Ziva reveals, with a pride smile.
"That's great, Kid," Gibbs says, liking how proud Ziva is.
"Do you have a new case?" Ziva asks curious.
"No, we were finishing the last one," Gibbs reveals. "Ziver, I want to ask you something," Gibbs admits. "It's your birthday Tuesday, so I thought that this weekend we could do anything you wanted," Gibbs explains to his daughter.
"I forgot it was my birthday," Ziva admits, and as soon as she does Gibbs feels pretty horrible. "Do you have to work this weekend?" Ziva asks curious.
"No, Uncle Mike is making sure I have the weekend off," Gibbs explains to his daughter, who looks happy at that. "So, what'd you want to do this weekend?" Gibbs asks.
Hearing her Dad's question Ziva thinks, she tries to figure out what she would want to do most, and the truth is that she would want to see her sister and mother, both sisters and both mothers, again, but that's not possible. So, rather than thinking about the impossible Ziva thinks about what is possible.
"Can we go horse riding?" Ziva asks, after thinking about it for a few moments, as she hasn't been horse riding since Kelly died.
"Yeah Kiddo, we can," Gibbs tells his daughter, though he knows that both of them are going to have a hard time without Kelly.
"Cool," Ziva says, looking happy, and the two of them continue to eat dinner together.
The next morning Ziva and Gibbs both get up early, and after breakfast they headed to the stables where they collected horses and went off on their ride.
"Dad," Ziva says as they ride their horses.
"Ziver?" Gibbs asks.
"Is it ever going to stop hurting? Will this…. Emptiness always be here?" Ziva asks curious, as she looks to where Kelly would usually be riding with them.
"I don't have that answer, Kiddo. I wish I did," Gibbs admits. "It might just be you and me now, Kiddo, but we'll never forget them," Gibbs explains, trying to hide the pain in his voice.
"Can we Gallop?" Ziva asks curious as she doesn't want to talk anymore.
"Sure Kiddo," Gibbs says, with a grin on his face, and the second he speaks Ziva starts to gallop, and once she does he does too.
As Ziva gallops she feels free, and for a few moments she almost feels like Kelly is riding alongside of her.
A few weeks have passed since Ziva's birthday and even though Thanksgiving passed Gibbs and Ziva decided not to celebrate. Instead of celebrating they just had a simple dinner and watched old movies as neither felt like they had much to be thankful about.
It is Sunday, just before sundown, and Ziva is in her room reading and working on leaning Spanish,
"ZIVER," Gibbs yells and Ziva stops what she is doing and heads out to the kitchen.
Walking into the kitchen Ziva finds not just her father, but Mike waiting as well,
"Uncle Mike!" Ziva says happily, though she is confused about why he is sitting in her kitchen.
"Little Miss Ziva," Mike greats.
"Kiddo, I need your help with this. Is this right?" Gibbs asks, and Ziva walks over to her father, as soon as she gets to her father's side Ziva realizes what her father is making.
"You are making latkes and sufganiot," Ziva realizes, looking amazed.
"And challah and brisket," Gibbs reveals, as he is using recipes that Shannon wrote down. "But here's the thing, I don't know what any of this is supposed to look like, let alone taste," Gibbs admits, feeling bad as he wanted to make this special for Ziva, special for their first Hanukkah without Shannon and Kelly, but he seems to be over his head.
"I will help," Ziva reveals, feeling glad to have the chance.
"I was hoping you'd say that," Gibbs admits, and together he and Ziva proceed to make a Hanukkah meal, and when it is time Ziva teaches Gibbs and Mike the proper prayers and rituals.
Three weeks have passed since the first night of Hanukkah and even though it is only three days to Christmas neither Gibbs or Ziva are feeling very festive. It is Sunday night and Ziva and Gibbs are just sitting in the living room by the fire. Both of them are reading but they also have the TV on.
As he reads Gibbs has noticed that Ziva has stopped reading and just seems to be staring at the corner in the room,
"Ziver?" Gibbs asks, putting his book down.
"Kells loved Christmas, Mom too," Ziva comments, and as she does Gibbs realizes that Ziva is looking to where the Christmas tree usually is.
"I know," Gibbs says sadly.
"We made dec…. decorations last year," Ziva reveals.
"I saw," Gibbs says, as he went though some boxes over summer.
"They would want a tree," Ziva reveals. "We should put one up, for them," Ziva says, as Christmas was always important to Kelly and Shannon, and so see feels that even though Christmas isn't important to her that they should do something.
"Okay Kiddo, we'll go get the boxes," Gibbs says, standing up and once he is standing Ziva stands too, and the two of them head to the garage to get the Christmas decorations.
A few weeks have passed since Gibbs and Ziva experienced a pretty solemn Christmas, and since then, partly because of Gibbs' new work schedule Ziva walks from her school to either the Gibbs house or the NIS, which is now known as NCIS, office, depending on where her father is.
Due to the fact that all the NCIS personnel at Pendleton know her as soon as Ziva walks into the NCIS office Ziva she is allowed back to where the NCIS agents work.
"Hi Dad, Uncle Mike," Ziva greats as she walks into the office that the two of them share.
"Hey Kiddo," Gibbs greats.
"Little Miss Ziva," Mike says, with a nod, as he heads out of the office as he needs to check on something.
"Good day at school?" Gibbs asks curious, as Ziva sits down in one of the chairs.
"Yep," Ziva confirms. "Dad, on my way here I saw something," Ziva explains. "It was posters for martial arts lessons, for kids and teenagers," Ziva explains to her father.
"And you want to take part in the lessons," Gibbs realizes, knowing his daughter.
"Can I?" Ziva asks, looking excited.
"I got to know, Kid. Do you want to do the lessons because it's something you really want, or because it's what you had to do back in Israel?" Gibbs asks, as he want to make sure Ziva is doing this for the right reasons.
"I want to," Ziva reveals. "I miss fighting," Ziva admits. "It gives me focus, I am good at it. I…" Ziva starts to say. "כמו איך זה גורם לי להרגיש," Ziva says, switching to Hebrew as after a day where she spoke a lot of English she is tired and struggling.
"Like how it makes you feel?" Gibbs asks, after a few moments pause, as he works to translate the Hebrew and he isn't even sure he got it right.
"Yes," Ziva confirms, with a nod. "I want this, Dad," Ziva admits.
"Okay, I'll sign you up," Gibbs says, and Ziva's entire face brightens. "Did you mean to switch to Hebrew?" Gibbs asks as whether Ziva did it on purpose or accident will tell him a lot.
"Yes," Ziva confirms, with a nod. "It is still hard to talk in English a lot," Ziva admits, speaking slowly so that she doesn't screw up.
"I've noticed. Do you remember what the doctor said?" Gibbs asks, as they did talk to Ziva's doctor about the language problems she has been having.
"Time," Ziva says, with an annoyed look on her face.
"Yeah Kiddo, it's going to take time, but you're improving," Gibbs tells Ziva, wanting to help her feel better, but they both know that the doctor said there is a chance that she will have continuing language issues for a very long time.
"I can understand without a problem," Ziva reveals. "Talking is a problem," Ziva explains.
"I know, Kiddo," Gibbs says sympathetically. "I know it's not fair, and you're frustrated, you've just got to keep working on it," Gibbs reveals, wishing he could be more of a help.
"I know," Ziva says, once more sounding annoyed, as she opens her school bag and gets started on her homework.
Due to the look on Ziva's face Gibbs knows that more talking won't get them much further, in face will likely just result in Ziva becoming angry and frustrated, and so he goes back to his work.
About a month has passed since Ziva asked her father if she could join in on martial arts lessons and Ziva has enjoyed every single second. It is Tuesday morning and Gibbs and Ziva, who have been driving for the last few days, are parked in Gibbs' truck.
"Are you ready?" Gibbs asks his daughter, as they have been parked for a while.
"No," Ziva admits. "But this is something we must do, yes?" Ziva asks, as she looks at her father.
"Yeah Kiddo, it is," Gibbs confirms as he is pretty sure that it is important for them. "Let's go," Gibbs says and once he speaks he gets out of the car, and so does Ziva, both of them carrying flowers.
After they get out of the car Gibbs and Ziva walk through the cemetery and end up in front of the Gibbs grave stone.
"Shalom Mom, Kells," Ziva says as she puts the flowers down, and once she stands up once more Gibbs puts his arm around her shoulders and the two of them just stare at the grave.
Almost four months have passed since the first anniversary of Shannon and Kelly being killed and ever since Gibbs and Ziva have been taking it one day at a time, and Gibbs has officially been honorably discharged from the Marines. As he doesn't want to make the same mistakes he made right after Shannon and Kelly were killed, Gibbs has been making sure that Ziva is the one person he doesn't push away, he has been making sure to talk and spend time with her.
It is a Friday afternoon, the last day of school, and Gibbs is waiting for Ziva in his truck, which is packed with stuff. Finally, after a little bit of waiting Ziva runs out of school and gets into the car.
"Good day?" Gibbs asks, as he pulls away from the curb.
"Yes," Ziva confirms. "Are we still going?" Ziva asks, as all day she was thinking that her father would find a reason not to do the trip.
"Of course. Uncle Mike knows I'll be out of contact for a few days," Gibbs says as he and Ziva talked and decided to go on their usual camping trip, something which they didn't do the previous year, but decided they wanted to do.
"Good," Ziva says, sounding glad, and the two of them drift into silence as Gibbs drives.
A couple of hours later Gibbs and Ziva have driven to where they are starting their trip, have collected horses, and are working on loading up the horses.
"just the basics, riding and sleeping under the stars, are you sure that's what you want this trip to be?" Gibbs asks his daughter as while he thinks it will be the perfect trip he is surprised that Ziva suggested it.
"Positive," Ziva confirms, as she is looking forward to that. "That is everything," Ziva confirms, as she secures the last item on her horse.
"Let me check," Gibbs says, walking over to her.
"Dad…." Ziva start so object.
"I trust you, Ziver, I'm just double checking," Gibbs explains as he double checks everything to make sure Ziva has secured it all correctly, which she has. "All good," Gibbs confirms.
"Should be, I learnt form you," Ziva says, smiling at her father.
"Yeah Kiddo, you did," Gibbs confirms, smiling proudly. "Boost?" Gibbs asks curious.
"Nope, I am good," Ziva says, before hoisting herself onto the horse without a problem. "Are you?" Ziva asks her father, giving him a look.
"Watch the attitude," Gibbs tells his daughter as he walks over to his own horse and climbs on.
Once Ziva and Gibbs are both seated on their respective horses they both start to ride going on the first traditional camping trip they have taken since Shannon and Kelly were killed.