Chloe's blinking her eyes awake at dawn, feeling tired and weighed down and painfully empty. She wishes it was like one of the stories she's read so often when she was younger, where everything turned out to be just a dream, or she could have a few blissful moments of quiet before the memories slipped back into place.

But instead she's waking up with the image of an empty room and Sabrina's devastated face in her mind.

She's gone. Though she has a day or two left in Paris, Sabrina is gone from Chloe.

She's never hated herself more.

Deep in her chest, something dark twists and tightens. Chloe rolls onto her side, grasping at area above her heart, twisting her shirt under her fist. A gasping sob tears its way out of her mouth, and she struggles to choke down the others that rise up.

She's never felt so alone.

Sabrina's gone. Sabrina's left Chloe after years of staying by her side, even when she didn't deserve it, especially when she didn't deserve it, and now she was gone. All because Chloe couldn't keep her stupid feelings in check, all because she was selfish, all because she couldn't be straight.

Her father doesn't know. Will never know if she has anything to say about it. He's locked up in his office, locked up behind cameras and newspapers and campaigns. He's the mayor, where he was once a father, and Chloe doesn't know how to go back to those times. She doesn't know if she wants to.

And her mother. Her kind, beautiful mother, with a heart overflowing with love, who lit up the room just by walking in. Her mother, buried six feet under in a cemetery Chloe hasn't even looked at in six years because she makes sure to never go near that part of Paris. Her mother, who would have loved her no matter what, dead. Chloe needs her more than ever but there's nothing a tombstone can do to save her from her own mind.

Chloe curls up, tight, and grabs a fistful of her hair. She pulls, hard, and hisses at the pain, but keeps tugging and tugging and tugging and tugging-

She needs help.

God does she need help. She just doesn't know how to ask for it anymore.

(Her father hands her another credit card; how could that possible ease away to suffocating feeling she wakes up to everyday? How could that possibly make her want to live again?)

She wants to die. No. That's wrong. She wants the world to stop long enough for her to catch her breath, to find her footing.

She doesn't want to be in a grave five years into the future. She wants to be happy.

Adrien, Chloe thinks suddenly. "If you need help, I can help you. No matter what it is," he had said. And while others lie and betray and abandon (she only learned from their example, after all), Adrien is sweet and kind and honest, almost to the point of being naive. Even though they've drifted apart, even though they're no longer really 'friends', Adrien would help her.

Letting out a breath, Chloe pushes herself up on weak arms. She reaches to the nightstand and grabs her phone. Just that feels like a Herculean task, but she manages to do it and collapse into the comforter.

From Adrien: Chloe?

His text from the day before, still unanswered, stares at her.

Chloe wishes that she could be better, if only for him. He deserves to be happy too, despite the shitty hand life dealt him. He should he able to rely on her too. But Chloe's not that kind of person; she's selfish and closed-off and looks out for herself because she knows no one else will. Adrien is almost the same, but he reaches out to other and is kind no matter what.

She almost wonders where she went wrong, but stops that thought before she can tumble down the rabbit hole of self-hate.

To Adrien: I cant do this anymore

To Adrien: Please help me

For a few minutes, there's no answer. There's no sign that he even read her messages. But it's dawn, and no reasonable person would be awake this early.

Adrien, of course, is a model and doesn't count as a reasonable person, but is a reliable one. It's not a surprise when the texts Chloe receives from him are full of panic and care. It makes her feel as though things will be okay soon, now that he's here.

From Adrien: Chloe?!

From Adrien: Are you okay?! What happened?!

To Adrien: I really messed up this time

To Adrien: Please help me ic ant do this anymore

From Adrien: What's wrong?!

To Adrien: Not over text. Meet somewhere?

From Adrien: Yeah, of course. Where do you want to meet?

To Adrien: Anywhere i just need to get out here

From Adrien: Is the park okay? I can be there in 20 minutes.

To Adrien: okay

It's still so early. The world is quiet. But her heartbeat's roaring in her ears as she tumbles off the bed, switching between panic and relief: she has twenty minutes to prepare to lay her heart bare to Adrien, and it's both the most comforting and terrifying thing she's ever had to do.

And then, suddenly, Chloe's at the park. She's dressed, sitting on a bench, waiting for Adrien. Golden sunlight peeks over the tops of buildings, which casts long shadows around her. Few people are out and about, just joggers and corporate employees, both of which ignore her.

She can't remember how she got there. A few out of focus memories of walking down a street for two steps before it faded away into nothingness, seeing her own hands and being unable to attach herself to her body, muffled sounds like cotton was stuffed in her ears; the journey from her bedroom to the park only exists in those brief flashes of remembrance. Everything else is blank.

Even now, Chloe isn't fully there in her body. Each limb feels weighed down and heavy. Her fingers twitch, but she can't raise her arm without it feeling like it belonged on another body.

Distantly, she thinks about how she both loves and hates disassociating, for both being disconnected from reality, and for losing time and memory and giving away pieces of her life because her brain won't work as it's supposed to.

Slowly, as the sun rose higher into the sky, Chloe comes back into her body. Her senses are still dull, but she can move and she's aware of the world around her; that's as good as she'll ever get.

The morning air is cool against her face. The heat of summer is lost in the shadows covering the park and it feels soothing against her skin. Chloe almost wishes that it'll last forever, last long after she's gone and buried; against her tear-tired eyes, it feels cleansing, in a strange way.

"Chloe!" Adrien's voice is small, but loud enough to grab her attention. Chloe turns her head in his direction, slowly. A part of her is hesitant to see him, but despite the obvious worry on his face, he still smiles when he meets her eyes. "Chloe!" he says again and he gets closer, "Sorry, were you waiting long?"

"No."

He blinks. "Oh, okay. Good! Um…" Adrien sits down next to her and never once looks away, eyes darting over her face as though looking for injuries. "Are you… okay?"

'This is it,' Chloe thinks, 'This is where I make my choice.'

Tell the truth. Stay silent. Be honest and get help. Stay safe in you isolation but suffer alone. It's been so long Chloe has found comfort in her pain - it's the only thing that's been consistent in her life (like Sabrina). But she's reached her limit. By now, Chloe's beyond her limit.

She just wants to stop hurting. She just wants to be better.

"I messed up," she says, "I really, really messed up. I can't fix this, not anymore."

Adrien lays a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Tell me what's wrong?"

"Sabrina's leaving. That's not my fault. But I've lost her."

"What do you mean?"

Chloe looks away, swallows heavily, and forces out the answer. "I lost her. I love her and she doesn't love me back and I lost her."

She can feel Adrien startle, feel his hand tense on her shoulder then relax. "Wait, what?"

Chloe can't help the bitter smile that crosses her lips. "I'm gay," she says, "I'm a lesbian. I like girls."

Her heart thunders in her ears. She feels sick and tense and the silence weighs down on her until she can't breathe.

And finally, after what feels like eternity: "I thought you had a crush on me?"

"I don't."

"Oh."

"You're my brother more than anything else. But I have to be straight. So I pretended to have a crush on you because I knew you'd never love me back like that."

"Chloe," Adrien says, softly. "Chloe. Look at me. Please."

He doesn't push or pull. He waits patiently until Chloe turns and faces him. She doesn't look him in the eye, but it's enough. Adrien pulls Chloe into a hug, and Chloe freezes for a moment, then relaxes against him. The fear is gone; painful relief takes its place. Tears gather at the corners of her eyes and she shivers, feeling so, so grateful that Adrien didn't hate her.

"Paris is pretty accepting," he begins, "But that's for most people. We aren't really most people." Chloe shakes her head against his shoulder and feels the lift of his cheek when Adrien smiles against her head. "My father's talked a few times about expected me to get a wife in the future, from a business partner to gain more support."

"I've heard my father a few times, talking about how gay people shouldn't be in positions of power since they'll ruin France. Since all they are is a bunch of part animals. Then he talks about expecting me to be the next president, or the wife of the next president," she hides her face against Adrien's shoulder. Her next words come out muffled. "I feel so sick when I hear that. He'll hate me if he finds it, I know it."

"He's your father, he'll always love you," Adrien says, but Chloe quickly cuts him off.

"He's the mayor. He hasn't been my father in years." Her voice is sharp and cold, spitting out the words like that burn her. "He hasn't loved me in a long time. He just does what he has to so he looks like a good father in front of other people."

There's nothing Adrien can say to that, so he doesn't. He stays silent and lets them sit there on that bench, hugging each other and reflecting on how broken their families have become.

"Hey," Adrien says, after a few minutes of silence.

Chloe hums, but doesn't say anything.

"Even if he's not okay with you being gay, you've still got me. We'll be okay, the two of us. We're better than our fathers."

"I only have you," Chloe admits brokenly, "I made sure everyone else hates me. I guess Sabrina's a part of that now."

Adrien pulls away then, and keeps both hands on Chloe's shoulders to keep her facing him. He looks into her eyes for a moment with a frown, then asks, "What happened?"

The words get stuck in her throat, heavy and suffocating and Chloe can't speak. She just stares, wide-eyed, at Adrien, and tries not to cry. "I-" she can't force the rest of the explanation out of her mouth. "I- I kissed her. Yesterday. She told me she was leaving for lychee and I kissed her. She didn't want me to. And she left."

Adrien's voice is low and despairing when he says, "Chloe."

"I've lost," she says again. "I loved her and she doesn't love me back. That's what happened."

"I'm sorry."

Chloe laughs, bitter and pained. "Yeah," she says, "Me too."