Chloe stares at the message until the words begin to blur on the screen.
An entire summer has passed where Sabrina existed only in wistful thoughts and painful memories. Somewhere down the line, she stopped being so real to Chloe; just a Muse, a figment of her imagination, a spectre that haunts her.
But now-
Chloe?
She swears she can hear Sabrina's voice, soft and hesitant with just the beginnings of a nervous smile on her face. A single word is all it ever took for Chloe to crumble.
This is a bad idea: they ended with a regretful kiss and both of them running away from each other. Even before that, Chloe caused Sabrina so much pain in trying to distract from her own. This can only end badly. This is will only hurt them more. Chloe's never been strong. And selfishness is ingrained in her bones and she can't stop herself from bringing her phone closer and replying.
.
To Sabrina: Hey.
.
It's admittedly a weak response, but what else could she say? 'Hey Sabrina,I love you and I want to die.' No way in hell. Still, just that simple "Hey" is enough to make Chloe's heart pound painfully in her chest with the sudden onslaught of anxiety.
There's a moment of stillness, where Chloe holds her breath and stares at the bright screen with wide eyes, her stomach twisting into knots.
.
From Sabrina: I just wanted so say that I'm really sorry! Running away was really rude
of me.
.
To Sabrina: What? You don't have anything to apologize for. I'm the one who kissed you without making sure you were okay with it.
To Sabrina: I'm really sorry about that.
.
From Sabrina: It's fine! I was just
From Sabrina: Surprised I guess? I didn't think anyone would ever kill me
From Sabrina: Especially someone like you!
.
Cold lead sinks into her stomach. Someone like her. What did that mean? Someone cruel? Depressed? Someone who people thought of as a heartless monster?
.
From Sabrina: I mean, I'm nothing compared to you. I barely believed that you wanted
me to be your friend!
.
To Sabrina: Of course you're my friend. I can't tolerate anyone else
.
From Sabrina: What about Adrien?
.
To Sabrina: He's a fool
To Sabrina: He's also like my brother so I tolerate him when I'm teasing him
.
From Sabrina: What about your crush on him?
.
Chloe rolls over, drops her phone to hide her face in her hands, and lets out a low whine. Her lies were starting to catch up to her, and while she's already told the truth to Adrien, she knew he would accept her. Besides, even if he didn't, they barely talked then and if she lost him, than it wouldn't change anything.
But Sabrina. Even when she's not in Paris, even when Chloe's already ruined things between them, Chloe doesn't want to risk pushing her away even more.
She wants to tell Sabrina. She wants to tell her so badly her heart hurts.
She needs to ask Adrien.
.
To Adrien: hey should I tell more people I'm gay
.
From Adrien: If you want to!
From Adrien: If they aren't okay with it I'll fight them for you!
.
To Adrien: thanks but youre a wimp
To Adrien: i appreciate the moral support tho
.
From Adrien: Who are you telling?
.
To Adrien: that's a secret.
.
Chloe takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. Then another one and another one and another one until she's forcing herself to breathe evenly and avoid panicking. It was easier with Adrien.
The walls are closing in on her. There's ringing in her ears. Her heart beats hard enough that it feels like it's going to burst. The fear that seizing Chloe is unlike any she's felt before and tears start to well up in her eyes.
The room is too bright and too busy and it's all suffocating her.
'I need to tell her,' she thinks, but she's lurching to her feet, phone clutched tightly in her hand, and she barely stops to slip on shoes before she's running through the hallways to get to somewhere safe.
Chloe doesn't stop to think. She just feels the way her feet hit the ground and how her legs burn from the strain of running so much. She goes blindly down the streets, letting muscle memory guide her until she's stumbling to a stop in front of Takahogi's shop, breathing in the comforting scent of flowers.
When she walks in, looking wild and ghostly-pale, Takahogi is immediately making his way over to her.
"Is everything alright?" he asks. "You look a little-" he waves his hands around, frowning, as he searches for the right word.
"Frazzled?" Chloe suggests. Her voice is weak, and she's still panting a little, trying to recover from her run.
Takahogi nods. "Come, sit in the back. Take what time you need."
She follows him, barely remembering to take off her shoes, before she's collapsing onto the tatami and ready for death.
"Should I be honest even if it scares me?" she asks.
There's no immediate answer. Takahogi takes his time sitting down and thinking up a response. When Chloe looks up to face him, he finally answers, "If it is a truth you want someone to know, a truth that is important to you, you should be honest."
That's all the answer she needs. It doesn't mean she's not scared anymore; not even close. But she's not alone. If all the world came crashing down in flames, she would still have Adrien and Takahogi and a sanctuary where she can heal.
Chloe lets out a breath, then nods. "Okay," she says, mostly to herself, and begins to type.
.
To Sabrina: I never really liked Adrien like that
To Sabrina: I just was scared of what people would think if they knew I was gay
.
When she hits send, Chloe can't help but scream a little and toss her phone away from her. Distantly, she hears Takahogi chuckle and contemplates faking her own death.
Her phone buzzes and she launches herself towards it, heart racing as she struggles to read the words fast enough.
.
From Sabrina: Oh!
From Sabrina: I didn't know you were gay too!
.
To Sabrina: Too?
.
From Sabrina: Yeah! I'm gay too!
.
To Sabrina: Wait are you serious
.
From Sabrina: Yeah! Why wouldn't I be?
.
Chloe closes her eyes and thanks not only God and Jesus, but also the Virgin Mary. She's pretty sure she's dreaming; no way did she get a good reaction, but to find out that Sabrina is gay too?
Every bad thing that's ever happened to her makes it worth it for this moment.
.
To Sabrina: Wow I had no idea
.
From Sabrina: I don't really tell anyone
From Sabrina: I mean it's not a big deal? I'm gay but that doesn't mean I have to come out to every person I know
From Sabrina: It doesn't really change anything about me right?
From Sabrina: Though I am happy to know we're both gay! This just proves we were
meant to be best friends
From Sabrina: Sorry! I didn't mean to ramble so much!
.
To Sabrina: It's fine I like hearing your thoughts
.
Chloe dropped her head against the tatami and groaned.
"I've literally kissed her on the lips before and she says we're best friends," she despairs. "I don't want to just be best friends!"
Takahogi just laughs at her. "Ah, to be young."
"I am having a crisis!" she snaps, though her heart isn't in it. The smile on her face says otherwise, too, and she feels so warm she doesn't know how she hasn't melted yet.
"I was worried when you came it, but it seems that everything's worked out."
Her phone buzzes in her hand, and the desire to ignore everything else for Sabrina in strong, but something about Takahogi's voice sounds proud. Chloe can't remember the last time anyone was truly proud of her.
"Yeah," Chloe says, softening, "Everything is working out now. Thanks."
"For what? I have done nothing."
"But you were here for me. You helped me without even knowing what was wrong. No one's done that to me since my mother died."
Takahogi stands. Curious, Chloe sits up. It's with a sad smile that he pats her shoulder and says, "I have been without family for many years. Though we share no blood, I see you as a granddaughter. You have helped me in many ways since the day your friend threw you into my shop. I should be thanking you."
Chloe sniffs, then quickly wipes at her eyes. "You can't say things like that," she mumbles, "I'll cry."
Takahogi laughs, and she can't help but smile as he guides her out into the shop.
"Now," he says, "Why don't you tell me about this person you've been texting so much?"